The Orphans
by Drive all night
Summary: Everyone grows up, life goes on, you love and you lose and sometimes you hit the jackpot. Follows on from This is Your Sword as we see what becomes of Adam and Kim's four grandchildren as they become adults and start their own families.
1. Chapter 1

_**While I am suffering terrible writer's block with regards to Burzek I have no such issues with writing about the Orphans...I wasn't going to post this and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but hopefully there are one or two of you who might like to see what happened to the Orphaned Burzek-Hollister children as they become adults. **_

_**It follows a pattern where they are almost four different stories which are tied together but it starts with Lola and the other's follow. Kim and Adam do appear, but shit they are old now.**_

_**If you are interested, I hope you enjoy it...if it's not your thing hopefully some Burzek inspiration will hit me one day.**_

_**Let's see how this goes...**_

Riley Whittaker was a little frustrated. Not in a crazy stalker, make your life hell type way but he was enamoured by one girl and she was giving him nothing. She wasn't telling him to go away but she wasn't falling over herself to see him either. He didn't know if it was because she was beautiful, that her laugh was infectious, that she was smart, confident and just a little but mysterious or that she seemed immune to him and his charms that was frustrating him. He just wanted a chance to show her that he was a nice guy.

They were friends, they hung out in the same group but Charlotte Ruzek Hollister was always a little bit out of reach. Nobody knew a lot about her private life, she always played those cards close to her chest. She occasionally mentioned a sister and he had seen her once when he bumped into her out shopping one Sunday afternoon. Introducing her as Mae he could see they were sisters, they looked very similar and Mae was friendly but Lola was keen to move on quickly.

He asked her best friend, Aiia but she was cagey too. She just shrugged and mentioned that Lola was full of mystery and if he wanted to know more about her, he should ask her. "I've tried. She barely speaks to me."

"Why do you think that is Riley?"

"I don't know. She's got me stumped."

"That's her plan, don't give up. I get the sense it won't be long before she lets you in. She mentions you sometimes, you just need to show her she can trust you." Aiia felt she was betraying her friend a little because Lola had mentioned that she liked Riley but she was scared of letting him get too close. Her irrational fears overwhelmed her. People either left her, treated her badly or couldn't handle her baggage and she had some heavy bags. Along with that was a fierce determination to be a success and that meant she couldn't get distracted and he would definitely be a distraction. Aiia's argument was that he was knee deep in Medicine like she was and they could actually help each other but Lola dug her heels in. She had to do this alone.

She had something to prove.

Being shoved together to complete a lab gave Riley a chance to spend a bit more time with Lola and she did agree to have a drink with him one evening and then she freaked out and invited a few other of their fellow students along. He was disappointed but at least she had said yes and she did spend some time talking to him away from the rest of the group. He had a glimmer of hope.

Riley was left feeling a little rejected when she suddenly excused herself to answer a phone call. He had no idea if it was a genuine call or one of those save me from a bad date messages from one of her friends. He watched her through the window of the pub and she seemed agitated.

Coming back in she grabbed her bag from the back and of chair and apologised that she had to leave. Riley followed her out. "Hey, everything okay?" Lola was waiting on the side of the street for a cab.

"Yep. You should go back in, it's cold out." She wrapped her jacket a little tighter around her to stop the biting wind. "I don't want to ruin your night."

"I'll wait until you are in the cab. You sure I can't help?"

"No, it's fine really." Lola looked impatiently up the street, there was no cabs in sight and she really needed to go right now.

"I can drive you."

"Thanks Riley, but really I am fine." She did know that he hadn't been drinking. He told her early on that he had to drive tonight because he had to be up early in the morning for his part time job as a courier. He did some casual work for his Uncle's delivery business and tried to pick a few hours each week and did a little be of boat cleaning work and personal training, but that was more for friends than for anything in particular. It helped keep him fit and put a few extra bucks in his pocket.

Her phone rang again. "Hey Bug, slow down. What's going on?" He didn't know what the conversation was about or who she was talking to but she was stressing out. "I'm waiting for a cab. Just wait, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Riley took a punt and led her by the elbow towards the parking lot. "Where do I need to drop you off?" Lola didn't seem to mind, he was expecting some kind of protest but then again she seemed pretty distracted. She was furiously typing a message.

"I've got the address. My sister is at a party and it's gotten a little hairy."

"Is she okay?"

"She is, she's just freaked out and her friend she went with is drunk apparently." Unsure how much to tell him she just blurted it out. "Some guy is hassling her, it's starting to get a little creepy."

"Is it the sister I met? Mae?"

"No, it's my little sister, Iris or Bug as we call her."

"Oh, how old is she?"

"Seventeen."

"How long has this kid been hassling her?"

"A couple of weeks apparently. She told me she could handle him, she's got a fair bit of bitch about her."

"Couldn't she get hold of your folks?"

"Can we go?" Lola slid into the car beside Riley without saying another word. She hadn't really argued about going with him because all she wanted to do was get to Iris but she didn't expect to have to talk about her parents. They drove in silence, Lola checked her phone a few times but there was nothing from Iris. "My parents died." She didn't elaborate and knew that it sounded cold.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say. He wasn't expecting that at all.

"I was thirteen. Bug was three."

"Charlotte, I'm really sorry." He squeezed her hand and felt it shaking and didn't let go and Lola didn't pull it away either. "I'll get you there." He pushed his foot down a little.

"My grandparents will freak out, Bug knows it. We lived with them, Bug still does."

"Must have been tough for all of you."

"Yep." Lola was annoyed with herself for blurting out that her parents were dead. It bothered her a little because she never did that, she always kept that to herself and usually it took weeks of dating someone before she admitted that her parents weren't around. This guy, they weren't dating, honestly they were barely friends. If anything they were acquaintances although she knew he was interested in her, until he found out about all her fucking baggage that was. He did intrigue her though, even if she tried to deny it.

"I didn't know."

"Why would you? I don't like to talk about it." She pulled her hand away and then regretted it. She could hardly reach out for his hand now but she missed the feeling that it had given her briefly. It had calmed her a little.

They drove in silence for a few more minutes. Riley focused on the GPS. Lola liked him, she just didn't trust herself with him. Already she had said too much. He reminded her a little bit of her Dad and initially that had put her off. He had dark hair, but his eyes were blue, it was an unsettling mix for some reason and it had made Lola withdraw a little but he kept tugging at her willpower.

"Is that why you chose Medicine? Because of your parents? Is that what they wanted you to do?"

"No." Lola answered defensively and went quiet again. "A little. I wanted to be a Doctor for a long time and then I thought I had too. I told my Mom and Dad that's what I wanted to do and I couldn't let them down."

"I wanted to be a pilot when I was growing up, until I realised I hate flying."

"I think maybe I have this idea that if I am a Doctor I can stop this happening to anyone else. Maybe I can save one person." Lola laughed a little painfully. "Stupid huh?" She'd been told that before, by her last boyfriend who was pissy because once she hit Medical School it took up most of her spare time and she suddenly didn't see where he fit in. He was intimidated by her and couldn't handle Lola being smarter or more driven than him. He was happy to float on by as freelance journalist who didn't really want to do much to be honest.

"Nope. You are going to save a lot of people. Were your parent's doctors too?"

"No. Mom was a social worker but spent most of her time working for BraveHearts. When she wasn't spitting out babies." Her phone beeped and she read the message looked at the GPS. Riley saw it and told her they were ten minutes away. She didn't mention her Dad and he wasn't sure what that meant and didn't feel like it was his place to ask either.

"So there is you, Mae and Iris? Three girls?"

"I have a brother too, Alfie."

"Younger or older?"

"I'm the oldest." She gave as little information as she could. Already it was way too much but she was nervous and when she was nervous or scared she talked.

They pulled up outside the address of the house Iris had given them and apart from some loud music and squealing it seemed tame. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, thank you." Lola patted his hand as he rested it on the gearshift. "Thank you Riley, I really appreciate the lift. We'll get a cab home."

"Go and grab Iris, I'll drop you home."

"You've done enough."

"Charlotte, go get Iris." She tried to argue again and Riley finally relented and suggested a compromise. He'd wait until they were both safely in a Cab and then he'd go.

"Who's that?" Iris was always going to ask when she saw him leaning against the car waiting for them.

"I guy I know from Med School, a group of us were out having a couple of drinks and he offered to drive me when I couldn't get a Cab."

"He's cute Lola Bear." Iris could never be accused of being backwards in coming forwards. "He got a girlfriend?"

Riley heard them as they came closer. He heard his sister call her Lola Bear and thought it was cute. Iris didn't quite look like Lola but you could tell they were related. She was tall like her sister but her hair was a little lighter and her smile a little bigger but she was a pretty girl. No wonder she attracted attention, even the unwanted attention.

"Don't know, never asked."

"You should." She bounced up to Riley who didn't move, he did his best to keep it casual. "Hi, I'm Iris."

"Nice to meet you Iris." He pushed himself off the bonnet of his car and introduced himself and asked if she was okay.

"Yeah. Lola Bear told him to fuck off and he scurried away like a scared little chicken shit."

"Can you not?" Lola rolled her eyes while Riley laughed. Iris was a firecracker. "Thanks Riley, I really appreciate the lift. I will see you on Monday."

"What? It's cold Lola. Surely if you ask nicely enough Riley will take us home." Iris was prone to whining. He just nodded and bowed a little. He was little intrigued that her sister was calling her Lola because he only knew her as Charlotte.

Lola weighed up the options, standing out in the cold with Iris, who would carry on and on about why they didn't get a lift home wasn't appealing. Spending a little more time with Riley was, not that it meant anything of course and it was fraught with danger having her annoying little sister in the car. She could say anything. She was a Ruzek and going rouge was a familiar trait. "Get in the car Iris."

Iris slid into the back seat and Lola slammed the door. Riley held the door open for her. "Thanks for doing this." She muttered sheepishly.

"Anytime Lola Bear." He winked as she shut the door and surprisingly Lola didn't hate the way it sounded. Nobody called her Lola Bear outside her family and Iris always loved to stir her up and call her Lola Bear, usually she just got Lola and everyone was amused that she insisted on being Charlotte at College.

She thanked him for driving them home and Iris did leap out of the car the moment it stopped. "I'll give you a moment."

"I don't need a moment." She turned to Riley and smiled. "Thank you Riley. I'll see you Monday." She closed the car door and he watched them disappear inside. Iris was obviously in her ear about something but he couldn't hear or figure it out. He just had to hope that perhaps she was bugging her sister to give him a chance.

It was not why he did it, it's not why he helped Lola out. He did it because it was the right thing and the nice thing to do. It wouldn't matter who needed help, he was in a position to help so he did. The fact it was Charlotte Hollister was just the cherry on top.


	2. Can I Kiss You?

Lola smiled a little when her phone beeped. She couldn't help herself. _'I think as a thank you for last night you should have lunch with me.'_

_''__Okay, when?' _He was wearing her down. Last night he had been very sweet and helped her out without asking nor did she think he expected anything in return but she wasn't surprised he'd asked her out again, it wasn't like he hadn't done it before.

Riley had asked her out a few times and Lola had always said no. He didn't hassle her or pressure her, but every few months he'd throw it out there. "One day you will say yes." He playfully warned her after another rejection.

"You sound so sure of yourself." Lola did enjoy the flirty banter. It wasn't that she didn't like him but she didn't know him well enough yet to trust him.

"I just think you will say yes just to get me to stop asking. We'll go on a date and while I will be the perfect gentleman you will probably block my number."

"Probably. So let's just skip to that part." She didn't mean that, it was nice having someone put in some effort. It had been a while since anyone had made an effort to impress or woo her. Her last boyfriend wasn't into that stuff but she had fallen hard and fast because she didn't like being alone. She had jumped from one boyfriend to another and while Sid had been nice and kind he lacked any get up and go and got frustrated with Lola's unwillingness to compromise on her study.

"Do you want me to stop asking?"

"I never said that."

Riley just winked at her and laughed. He placed a coffee he'd bought in front of her and walked away. It wasn't an outright no, so he kept plugging away.

_'__Next Saturday? I'll pick you up, rug up, be comfortable, don't dress up.'_

Lola agreed, not quite reluctantly but she wasn't jumping out of her skin all week in anticipation either. She did appreciate that Riley didn't hassle her about it, he never mentioned it to anyone or made a big deal out of it. He had figured out that it was probably a sure way to get her to back out. Until they actually went out on their date he was worried that it would never happen.

Even when he picked her up Lola had no idea where they were going and despite her best efforts to appear relaxed about it all she was a little bit excited. He gave away nothing and when he messaged her that morning to make sure she wasn't backing out he reminded her to bring a coat. "Are you going to tell me where we are going? I don't like surprises."

"I hope you'll like this surprise. Do you like boats?"

"Depends. Do I have to row?"

"No, no rowing."

They pulled into the marina and Riley placed a hand in her back and led her down the jetty and stopped in front of a small yacht. "It's the family yacht. We've always had boats. I've sailed all my life."

"Well aren't you full of surprises? Where is the cute little shorts and hat? I'm disappointed, you don't look like a sailor boy." Lola felt a flock of butterfly's in her stomach. Going out on a boat with him meant that they'd be totally alone and while she didn't get any creepy vibes off him it was a big step. "I can't sail. I don't know what to do?"

"We aren't sailing, not today. We will use the motor. I'll save that for another day." He sensed her trepidation. "Are you okay with this? We can just stay in dock, but I really think you'll like the peace and quiet out there, it can get noisy and busy here."

"No, it's fine. I'm looking forward to sitting back and watching you do all the work."

He held Lola's hand as she stepped onto the boat and showed her around. Below deck was small but cosy, there was enough room for a few bunks, a small double bed, bathroom and toilet and a kitchen with a bench seat and table. Lola preferred to be upstairs and watched Riley steer them out onto the lake. He did let Lola steer for a bit, he stood behind her and showed her what to do and she loved it. It was a little daunting at first but have this powerful boat under her control was exhilarating. Finding a sheltered cove he dropped anchor and set about getting out a picnic lunch. He offered her champagne or beer and she took the beer because it would be a waste opening a bottle just for her. Riley didn't drink when he was sailing.

"It's beautiful out here, it's so quiet."

"Yeah, in summer it's a little crazy, you can't really find a spot to drop anchor that's not crowded unless you go way up the coast. I prefer this, although on a hot day it's great out here. Swimming off the back of the boat on a hot summer's day is just about as close to heaven as you can get."

His picnic lunch was impressive, much more than she was expecting. Cheese and crackers, fruit, a wicked pumpkin and pomegranate salad, delicious chicken meatballs. He also had a thermos full of hot coffee. "I'm so full." Lola moaned as they packed up the picnic and she stretched out on the deck. It may have been cool but the sun was out and the sky beautiful and clear. They had chatted about the boat, sailing, college and a few of their friends but they hadn't got deep. He talked about his family a little but didn't ask Lola about hers.

"Why did you want to do Medicine?" Lola always wanted to know why people chose medicine, everyone had a reason. Some just wanted the prestige, the money or because their parents were Doctors or wanted them to be one.

"Same reason you do, to save people." The way he averted her eyes told Lola that he was holding something back.

"That's not my reason. Well not all of it, I do want to save people from going through what I went through but I wanted to be a Doctor before that." She remembered telling her Dad she was going to be a Doctor and he was excited for her and told her he thought she'd be a superstar.

"Me too. My Mom has cancer, it's in remission now but it was really rough for a while. I hope one day that it's not quite so rough and the outcomes are better. I'd like to think one day this will be as common as small pox and as preventable."

"I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I can't imagine it…." Her voice trailed off.

Riley rolled over onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow so he could see her face. "But she's still with us." He took a risk, asking her about her parents was fraught with danger. It could end badly. He had known her for two years and had no idea she didn't have parents; nobody did so obviously talking about it wasn't something she liked doing. "What happened Charlotte?"

"To my parents?"

Riley just nodded. Lola sat up and crossed her legs, she stared out over the railing out onto the lake. "Car accident. They were driving home from a weekend away while we were over here on a holiday. At that stage we were living in Australia for Dad's work. A truck came around a bend on the wrong side of the road…" She paused ever so slightly. "…they died instantly."

"You weren't in the car?"

"No, we were staying with our grandparents. Mom and Dad were having a dirty weekend before we went home. My Pops had to come home and tell us."

"I'm really sorry. That must have been horrific."

"It still is." Lola closed her eyes when she felt the tears starting to form and she desperately willed them away. She didn't want to cry in front of him, she didn't want him to think she was an overly emotional nightmare. A small tear escaped though and her eyes flew open when she felt Riley catch it on his fingertips.

She stared at him wide eyed and he didn't blink. "Hey?" he eventually whispered. "Can I kiss you?"

"No." Lola saw the look of disappointment and confusion on his face. He was a little crushed. He rolled onto his back. It was not the answer he wanted and now he was worried he'd blown it. He got the feeling that Lola only gave you one chance.

"Okay."

"Hey?" Lola turned to face him. She rested on hand on his chest. "Are you mad?"

"No."

"Are you disappointed?"

"A little."

"Can I explain?"

"Sure." He wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. He didn't want to hear that she thought they'd be better as friends, he didn't want to be her friend, he wanted to try and be more than that. Would it work in the long run, who knows but he was willing to give it a go?

"We were just talking about my parents dying. I don't want to remember our first kiss like that. They are painful memories and it's never gone away. It's just here…" she tapped her chest. "…all the time. Sometimes it's okay, I don't think about it and some days it just hurts. Sometimes it's just a moment or two, it's fleeting and I can deal with that, other times I struggle for days or weeks."

"Okay." He reached out and wrapped a loose piece of her dark hair around his finger and then tucked it behind her ear. "You know, anytime you want to talk about it, or even not talk about it, let me know."

"Thank you."

Smiling just a little he lifted her hand off his chest and kissed her palm. "I do like that you said you don't want to remember our first kiss like that. I guess I can wait a little longer until it's a moment you want to remember."

"You are sweet. Not stalkerish at all."

Lola lay back down and Riley liked it that she reached for his hand and started playing with his fingers. "I could stay out here all day."

"We are in no rush to go back. There is enough food for dinner, I packed extra."

"You that confident?"

"No just hopeful and I like to be prepared. On a boat you need to be prepared that sometimes things don't go to plan and you have to batten down and stay put." Rolling his head to the side he waited until Lola looked at him. "Unless you have someplace else you'd rather be?"

"No, no plans." Lola blushed. "We could drink that champagne?"

"Then I won't be able to skipper us back. We'd have to stay."

"Really, huh. I hadn't thought of that." Of course she'd thought of it. She was suddenly full throttle. For all her pushing him away and holding him at arm's length, the moment she let her guard down she was almost desperate to find out what else he had to offer. On the outside the package was gorgeous and now she wanted to unwrap the rest. "And that would be terrible how?"

"Why, Charlotte Hollister, are you hitting on me?"

"Perhaps." She just closed her eyes as she smiled and knew that he was smiling too. "You know, it's actually Ruzek Hollister. Ruzek was my Mom's name. Polly Ruzek." Lola had no idea what she was doing but couldn't stop herself either. "Not hyphenated just Charlotte Abigail Ruzek Hollister."

"Charlotte Abigail Ruzek Hollister." He repeated. "Cute but I prefer Lola Bear."

"Bloody Iris. I'll kick her ass."

"It's very cute. Is that what your family calls you?"

"Yeah." Lola shrugged. "I was always Lola when I was growing up. From the day I was born I was Lola, like Mae is actually Mabel and Alfie is Alfred, my parents were weird like that. I decided it didn't sound professional enough or grown up enough a few years ago and just wanted to be called Charlotte, at work and college anyway. My family still call me Lola all the time, I prefer it actually. Bug thought I was a right snobby bitch wanting to be called Charlotte."

"Bug?"

"Iris, we've always called her Bug, from the moment Mom fell pregnant it was always Bug and somehow that just stuck."

"Do you mind if I call you Lola?"

"No, I don't mind." He wasn't quite sure; she didn't sound happy or confident in her response.

"It's okay to say no Lola. If it's too hard for you say no."

"Why would it be hard?"

"If that's what your parents called you."

"No, it's fine." She snapped. That was still buried deep within her, not for more than 12 years had she been called her other name. No one dared. She never talked about it so she had no idea why she blurted it out right now. "My parents called me Chicken, Chicken Little." Jumping up suddenly she fled to the front of the boat, there wasn't many places to hide and that's what she wanted to do, hide.

Riley left her for a bit, checked the boat and made sure everything was still doing as it should. He then went to see if Lola was okay. "Do you want to head back?" She was sitting on the foredeck, legs dangling over the edge of the boat and her arms resting on the rails.

"No. I like it out here."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." Taking a gamble he slid in behind her and rested his hands either side of hers on the railing. She instinctively leant back and rested her head on his shoulder. "Sorry." She muttered quietly.

"For what?"

"I've never told anyone that. The last time anyone called me that was the day they died. My Dad sent me a message and said 'see you soon chicken little' I didn't reply and I never heard from them or saw them again. I still have that message." Lola was confused and a little scared. The fact that she had told Riley stunned her and it was probably lucky they were on a boat otherwise she would have fled. It was nice now though that he left her alone initially when he saw how it had affected her but now he was here and she liked his arms around her. "I used to send them messages all the time, I even rang their phones just to listen to their voices."

He didn't say anything, he just wrapped his arms around her, she felt like she needed something to hold her together. Nothing he could say would feel adequate, so he just held her. He did get the feeling though that a relationship with Lola was like being on a rollercoaster and he was going to have to buckle up. Strangely he wanted that more than anything, he wanted to see where this was going to go. He liked the vulnerability of her.

Slowly he felt her relax and she started playing with his hands again and changed the subject. "How about we crack that bottle?" Lola finally spoke. "Unless you have someplace better to be?"

"Nope. No place I'd rather be." He jumped up, grabbed the champagne and a couple of rugs. Lola followed him to the back of the boat where it was a little more protected from the wind and had a bench seat to relax on. He handed her a glass and held it up for a toast. Clinking their glasses together he smiled. "To day one."

"Day one?"

He just winked. Lola scooted forward quickly and didn't wait for anything, she kissed him, it was short but sweet, not quite a peck but not a full on pash either and he wasn't letting her get away with that. As she went to pull away Riley grabbed the back of her neck and refused to let her go just yet. This kiss was slower, softer and perfect. "Perfect moment?" he asked as he finally broke away.

"Perfect." Lola smiled against his lips.

"Perfect first kiss."

"You just wait for the second." She teased him as she sat back against the cushions and took a sip of her champagne.

The second kiss came soon after. They were flirting and teasing each other and it was pretty obvious where this night was heading. They had decided to stay on the boat, Lola had surprised herself when she suggested it, she knew you couldn't stay on a boat with a guy and just hold hands. Well technically you could, but did they want too? She didn't that's for sure.

Lola had gone down below to use the bathroom and as she came out Riley was just finishing up on the radio. She watched him for a few moments. He was smart, cute and just seemed to have it all together. He didn't seem like the type of guy that put up with high maintenance people and Lola knew she could be high maintenance. So she decided to throw caution to the wind, perhaps she should be here for a good time, not a long time?

"All okay?"

"Yep. No one will come looking for us." He turned the radio down a little. "Although that sounds creepy. I sound like some madman don't I?"

Lola screwed up her nose. "A little."

"Anyone you need to let know?"

"No. As long as I am back for Sunday night dinner."

"I'll get you back. Family dinner?"

"Yeah. Always has been. It's a bit crazy but my Pops loves it."

"Sounds like fun."

"It can get out of control. My Dad always called it a circus and it's like that sometimes but I hate missing it." He was a little bit surprised. For two years she never mentioned her parents in any conversation they'd had yet now it rolled off her tongue constantly. It fascinated him a little, how long did it take her to build that wall around her and how easy he seemed to have bought it down once she gave him a chance?

"You won't miss it, I promise. I don't want your family hunting me down."

"My uncle is a cop, my Pops was a cop. Just putting it out there, you know since we are on a boat in the middle of nowhere."

"Good to know."

Riley grabbed her hand as she went to squeeze past and pulled her back. "Hi." She giggled nervously. She had no idea why she was suddenly nervous being close to him. The next kiss was just a nice as the first two, a little longer and filled with a bit more passion and a promise of things to come.

Lola loved listening to Riley talk about his childhood and all the mischief he got up too with his brother. Riley was the middle child; he had an older brother in the Marines and they certainly kept their parents on their toes and gave them more than a few grey hairs growing up and his younger sister was a budding fashion designer. She'd apparently had some limited success early on but was now finding it hard to build her business and worked in retail to make ends meet.

They polished off the bottle of champagne and Lola fixed them some dinner to graze on from the extra's that Riley had packed.

"About earlier?" Riley started nervously. "I don't want you to think that I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hear it or that I didn't like it…." He paused. "…I mean, that sounds weird, liking a story about something that is painful for you, but you know you were telling me something I know is deeply personal and I don't want you to think that I was sitting there thinking that you are, you know depressing." He stopped. "I'm so this is not making any sense, it sounds dumb."

"It's not dumb, I think I get what you are trying to say."

"I'm trying to say, I didn't say anything because I don't have the words to make that better for you. I just want you to know that I thought the best thing I could do was hold you so that you knew that it was okay."

"Riley, it's okay. I'm sorry I dumped all that on you. I don't even know where it came from. I'm not like that."

"I hope it's because you maybe trust me a little, maybe like me a little?"

"Hmmm, I am spending the night with you on a boat, alone I think that shows that I do trust you and perhaps I do like you, probably a little more than you think."

It felt easy and comfortable and never in a million years when Lola agreed to having lunch with him did she think they'd stretch it out to dinner and most likely breakfast. She didn't do this.

It got too cold to be up on deck so they retreated below and it felt a little more intense. Up on deck they had all this space around them and suddenly that space was gone. "How long have you stayed on a boat? Like how many days?"

"The longest we were gone was three weeks. It was awesome."

"I like it. I like being here. I feel like I am a million miles away from everything. It's good."

"Maybe when it's a bit warmer we can go away for a weekend. There is nothing better than fishing from the boat, skinny dipping late at night, lazing about on the deck in the sun. It clears my mind."

"I am sure you'll be well rid of me by the time summer comes around."

"Nope. Not unless I find out you've got bodies buried in the back yard. I think I'll stick around for a bit."

"You say that now."

Riley leant forward and put his hand over her mouth. "Stop." He waited until she nodded then removed his hand and replaced it with his lips. Suddenly he was moving, Lola pulled him down and he was pressing her into the bench seat. Her hands grabbed at his shirt and she pulled it out of the waist of his jeans and slid her hands underneath. He was warm to touch and he groaned a little and then pulled away. "Lola. You know this isn't why I bought you here? I just wanted to have lunch with you. I felt if I could at least do that you'd see I wasn't all that bad."

"You were never all that bad, it's just me. It takes me a while to trust myself and other people." Her hands were still under his shirt but he'd rolled a little to the side and Lola's hand had found its way to his stomach. Her fingers were soft as she dragged them over his skin and he felt a rush of warmth surge through him.

"Do you trust me?"

"I do."

"Tell me when to stop."

Lola sucked on his bottom lip and then pushed him away. He lamented the loss of contact when she pulled her hand away. He wasn't expecting the world but he had hoped that they could get a little closer than a few passionate kisses. Jumping up suddenly Lola held out her hand and pulled him up off the bench seat. She knew the way as she lead him to the tiny double bed, they were about to get very close and both their hearts were beating wildly in their chests.

Before they crashed onto the bed Lola removed his shirt, exposing his chest and she ran her hands over it before kissing it and Riley tilted his head back and let the sweet sensation wash over him until her kisses reached his chin and he gratefully captured her lips again. "Lola?"

"Riley stop thinking for a moment. It's okay."

Next to go was Lola's sweater and shirt, they briefly broke contact as he reefed them over her head. Leaving her in just her bra. It was then that he noticed the tattoo down her left side, just near her breast. "What's this?" He ran his hand over it.

"A tattoo."

Riley chuckled; he was loving her sense of humour. "Animals?"

"A Leopard, a rhino, a giraffe and a wombat."

"Interesting." He touched all four of them gently. "Is there a story behind them?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Nope." Lola tried to distract him by slipping a hand down the back of his jeans and grabbing his ass. She didn't want to talk about it right now.

He slid one finger under the shoulder strap and ran it slowly down her chest until it reached the lacy cup, pausing for just a second he continued and his warm finger found her hardened nipple and she moaned slightly. Sliding his finger back up he pushed the strap from her shoulder and tugged on it until her breast was exposed. Following his finger with his mouth he felt her stiffen when he flicked his tongue over her nipple and then sucked it lightly. "You taste so good." He kept working that breast with his hand while his mouth headed towards the other. Suddenly pulling away he unlatched her bra and removed it completely and then pushed her backwards so that when the back of her knees hit the bed she instinctively fell back.

Resting one knee between her thighs Riley ran both hands over her. "You are incredible." He took a moment to appreciate how beautifully happy she looked. "Lola, we don't need to do this?"

Lola's hand were suddenly at his belt and it didn't take her long to undo the belt and his zip and slide her hand inside. It was a relief and Riley smiled at the sensation. He was no longer constricted and that in itself felt great but Lola's hand was on him and it felt fantastic and he couldn't stop himself from groaning with pleasure. "I think we do; we can have some fun can't we?"

"We can."

He was torn, he wanted her to stop so that he could get her clothes off but she was making him feel so good. He was still kneeling over her and while she worked away at him he continued to taste every inch of her torso. He'd admired her perfect form many times when it was clothed, now he couldn't get enough. They were even better lying in front of him, waiting for him to adore them. Her nipples were hard and the harder he stimulated them the firmer her grip on him became. It was obvious he was about to come in her hand. His breathing laboured as she worked his jeans and boxers down over his hips so she could work his balls along with his dick. "God Lola." He pushed out between clenched teeth. She watched him closely as he finally let it all go.

"That doesn't seem fair?" He kissed her hard.

"It will all make sense in the end."

It was Lola's turn to lie back and enjoy Riley's attention. He pulled her jeans off, leaving only a lacy thong covering her. Slowly he worked his way under the thin fabric and he loved watching her squirm as he teased her. He played around but never gave in until he knew she was near the edge. She lifted her hips so that he could slide her underwear off and he knew she was ready for him and the way she bucked her hips told him she was close. He kissed her thigh, running his tongue up the inside and then he flicked it over her and she let out a strange groan; a painfully satisfying groan.

"Fuck." He crawled up the bed, lifting her up a little so their heads were on the pillow. "You feel so good."

"So do you, like really good and strong and I can't wait to feel it." They didn't stop, they explored and kissed and discovered each other until the right moment. Riley scrambled off the bed and went in search of his wallet. He pulled out the condoms and threw them on the small cabinet, tearing it open, Lola took it from his hands and slid it on.

She didn't take her eyes off him until her eyes fluttered closed briefly when he took just a moment to make sure this was what she wanted before he pushed himself into her. Being inside her was heaven, he couldn't get his head around the fact that this is where they ended up but the thought was fleeting and they found a rhythm, aided by the rocking of the boat and it was exquisite and it lasted. They didn't hurry, every time he wanted to just lose himself she growled in his ear to slow down. So rather than that last little flurry be hard and fast Lola begged him to go slow, the strokes were long and deep and the climax was breathtaking.

"I told you it would make sense." Lola breathed in his ear as he fell against her, the last of his organism finally subsiding.

"That was fucking incredible."

"I want more." She was already wondering how long before she could get him up again. That was up there as probably the best sex she'd ever had. It was certainly the best first time with someone she'd ever experienced.

"Oh there is more. Just let me catch my breath. You are fucking amazing." Riley rolled onto his back and pulled Lola with him, she propped herself up on one elbow and wiggled close, sliding a leg down between his. "So?"

"So? Interesting first date."

"First date, first kiss, first screw."

"I'm usually not this easy."

"Easy." He scoffed. "You have been anything but fucking easy. I've been trying to crack your shell for months."

"I know." She kissed him quickly. "Worth the effort?"

"Fuck yes."

"The comment about it all making sense. What's that about?"

"Ahh.." Lola ran her hand down his chest, over his abdomen and clutched his balls, squeezing them playfully. "…you were so eager that it didn't take much to get you to come the first time, I'd be disappointed if our first time was over so quickly, so getting that first shot out the way, makes the real deal last so much longer."

Riley roared with laughter. "Fucking hell, so this was all so you could screw me for longer."

"Yes, I wanted our first time to last. I wanted to remember it; I've had the wham bam thank you mam thirty second screw. Completely unsatisfying most of the time. You, on the other hand. Fucking blew my mind."

"I like the way you row your boat."

"Want me to row yours again?"

"As soon as I rig it up."

She rowed his boat. Sitting astride him, she teased him until he was ready. Initially he was soft, still recovering from two sessions but Lola was a determined girl and loved the slow feeling of him hardening up underneath her, when he was ready she teased him. Grabbing hold of his shaft she let it just rest against her, she would slid up underside and then let him just enter her before pulling away. Eventually he'd had enough and grabbed her wrist and then holding her hip he guided her down onto him. She leant back a little and rocked her hips. He loved watching all the emotions flit over her face as he stimulated her with one hand, the other holding her hip. Far and away his favourite look was that look just before she came and as she did he grabbed her hips and thrusted hard and she screamed his name and he felt himself blow too.

"I can't fucking believe this." Riley crawled back into bed, having disappeared to the bathroom and then to get something for them to eat because Lola declared she was hungry.

"Believe what?"

"This day. Best day of my life."

"I've enjoyed myself." Lola gave him a quick kiss, she loved kissing him all of a sudden. Once they took the brakes off it was full steam ahead. "Thank you."

"You want more days like this?" He hoped like hell she did, he wanted more, much more.

"Yes I do."

"Good. You know this is not just a one-time thing don't you?"

"Well it's been twice so far."

"Okay smart ass. You know I don't want it just to be one night of mind-blowing sex and then it's back to business as usual and you blowing me off and ignoring me." He lifted his head suddenly.

"Good to know." She wiggled closer, rubbing her nose on his. "Just so you know. I don't know if I can look at you anymore and not imagine you screwing me." She kissed him quickly. "And I do like the odd quickie too."

"Charlotte Ruzek Hollister. My god." She actually loved the way he said her full name.

She curled into his side. Resting her head on his chest she liked how he played with her hair. "So that tatt?"

"One day. I need to keep some mystery about me. I mean I've slept with you on our first date, there is not a lot of mystery left."

"Such an awesome screw too but fair enough, I like mystery, keeps me coming back for more." It was obvious she wasn't ready to talk about it so he dropped it. "So next weekend, what's your plans for your first date?" Riley chuckled. "It might be hard to beat."

"Depends on who my date is with."

"Touché." Digging his fingers into her side she squealed a little. "Say it was me?"

"It's a surprise."

"You've got nothing, have you?"

"Nope nothing." But she would come up with something. "Give me time. I'm post coital. I'm in a sex coma."

"Good lord, I am so far out of my depth with you."


	3. Lola's First Date

Lola took him to the zoo. They had tried hard all week to keep things from boiling over but it had been hard. Talking and seeing each other every day they vowed they needed to find a balance. It would have been easy to fall into the habit of being together all the time and when they were together the sparks were obvious.

She had admitted to Mae on Sunday night that she had spent the night with Riley. "That guy we met at the mall? The one who was throwing you 'come fuck me' looks?"

"Yes, that guy."

"Ooooo tell me more?"

"What, we went out on a date…."

"Wait, you slept with him on the first date. Lola, I'm impressed." Mae was always a little more adventurous than her older sister. Not that she was promiscuous but she never ruled it out either. If she liked a guy she didn't hold back. Not a one night stand type of girl but she did have a few flings that lasted a few weeks before they fizzled out. Mae always admitted that she knew it would die in the ass but it was fun while it lasted. Lola was a lot more cautious. She didn't jump until she thought it had potential beyond a good few weeks of fun sex.

"Well it wasn't really a first date. I have known him for a while, but yes I guess it was our first official date. He took me out on his yacht and well…" she shrugged. "…we stayed the night."

"Yay?" she clapped. "And?"

"And nothing. We'll see where it goes. Can you not say anything though, not yet?"

Mae slid her fingers across her mouth like a zipper. She just wanted her sister to be happy.

"So where are we going?" Riley was waiting for her outside her apartment. He wanted to know how she could afford to live by herself so close to the University but it was rude to ask. He was happy with that though because it could make things awkward when you were dating someone who didn't live alone particularly early on when you couldn't get enough of each other.

"My favourite place in Chicago."

"Can I guess?"

"You can try." She stood on tip toes and greeted him with a kiss. All week she had held back when they were on Campus. Lola led him towards her car. "Three guesses."

"Millennium Park?"

"Nope."

"The Art Institute?"

She shook her head.

"My yacht?" Riley winked. "That's my new favourite place."

"Hmm, I like it but no."

It didn't take him long to realise what direction they were headed. "Ahhh, the zoo."

"The Zoo."

Lola didn't come here a lot, once or twice a year at most but she did love it and even to this day they were still treated like royalty. They didn't even stop at the gate, she waved at the cashier and they were let straight through. "Wow. VIP." Riley had a firm grip on her hand as she led him through the gates.

"Yes. I grew up here. I think I was less than a week old when I first came here. My parents got married here. There is a lot of history here for us."

Firstly she took him to see Ada. "See that old girl." He followed her finger where she was pointing out one of the Rhino's. "That was the first animal my Dad bred, it's what got him the job here. He was living in Kenya and came back and met up with my Mom."

"The Rhino?" He ran his hand from her hip up under her arm. She knew what he was talking about.

Lola ignored his comment "… and six months later she was pregnant with me."

"Wow that's quick."

"Oh, they dated in High School for a few years, it was like a reunion. She was his first love and his last." Lola laughed. She had no idea why she was telling him all this but it felt good. "Anyway he bought Ada out eventually and bred from her here. We moved to Australia and he set up an Open Range Zoo there and one of Ada's babies is now the main Rhino in that Zoo, rooting Rhinos left right and centre."

"Rooting?"

"Sorry, Australian slang. This place has that effect on me. Screwing, fucking, rogering whatever you want to call it. He's breeding like nobody's business over there. His name is Hollis."

"After your Dad? I didn't realise this was all related to you."

"Hmm. I guess so. My Dad was a Zoologist here, he was in charge of the African Animals and establishing a breeding program." She pointed out the plaque on the wall beside the viewing deck. '_In loving memory of Dr Sam Hollister. From little things…'_ Lola dragged him off to the giraffe's next and they were able to feed them before they grabbed a coffee and Lola mentioned that she wanted to sit for a bit. They sat under an Oak tree and she closed her eyes. "My brother planted this tree so we could come here and remember them."

Riley reached for her hand, holding it tightly and he watched her closely. She didn't open her eyes but she knew he was watching her, she could feel it. "You think this is weird or creepy?"

"Nope."

"I feel close to them here."

"I'm glad you bought me." Lifting her hand up he kissed her fingers. "I can see how much you love it. I know you are sad, but you look happy here. I think it's nice you have somewhere like this."

"Alfie wanted to do it. There is this tree here and then we went to Australia and planted a gum tree at his zoo there." She finished off the last of her coffee. "Anyway, that's enough of this. Let's go see the Leopards."

"Ah the tattoo again?"

"The tattoo." Lola at least acknowledge it this time. "I also have a leopard, a stuffed one. It's a little tatty now but I've always had it." She didn't elaborate and again he was left wondering. It was intriguing, she intrigued him. He waited for her to add something but she didn't

"I have a turtle. It's disgusting, it's been repaired more times than I can count but I refuse to get rid of it."

"Yes, Mazi is the same. Iris and Alfie were actually fighting over it one day, I don't know why. I don't know why those two did anything but they ripped it's leg off. I was devastated and didn't talk to them for more than a week. I think Iris was two."

"So you can hold a grudge?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. Don't cross me."

Riley held up his hands in defeat and backed away playfully. "Wouldn't dream of it." They spent the next few hours wandering around the zoo, Lola took him places that very few people got to see and he enjoyed getting to know her better, she fascinated him.

"Was this the place of your parents first date?"

"No, actually. I think they played mini golf but he did bring her here early on." He didn't ask until they were leaving. She hadn't talked about her parents for a while. The people she did know asked her about Alfie and how he was going and how her grandparents were but they didn't mention her parents.

"So, I thought I'd cook you dinner. Is that okay?" Lola thought about stopping for dinner on the way home but really just wanted to keep this on the downlow for now and liked the idea of just being alone with him. They hadn't been alone all week. That's how they had decided to play it but it hadn't been easy. The messages had been flying back and forth though and they talked every day.

"Sounds perfect. You've cooked before right?"

"Yes. My Uncle is a chef, he taught us well." He liked the cheek of her. "He is head grill at burger king."

"Ha, I get the feeling that nothing about your family is below average and burger king is so below average."

"Heard of View?" View was a spectacular restaurant high above the Chicago skyline and Lola was probably biased but she loved it and was always proud when she heard people talking about it. Andrew worked so hard to build it up and they always had a family birthday's there.

"I have, never eaten there. A poor student can't afford View."

"Unless you know the owner."

"I am starting to feel like you are so far out of my league it's not funny."

"Uhhhh, we spent last weekend on your family's yacht?"

"True." Lola handed Riley a bottle of wine and two glasses and asked him to pour them a drink. "Are you trying to get me too drunk to drive?"

"Yes, that's my plan."

"Good to know." He sat up on the stool while Lola started preparing dinner. "This place is wicked." Riley wasn't surprised to see photos of her parents scattered around. He commented on them and Lola was happy to tell him where they were taken. He picked up a photo of her with her family. It was the one that was taken when Iris was first born. "How cute are you all?"

"Pretty cute."

It wasn't a big place, just one bedroom and bathroom but the living area was light and it did have a nice view over the Chicago. The hardwood floors were pristine and it wasn't cluttered despite its small size. Even the bedroom had a bit of a view. It was neat, not overly flashy and it was in a secure building. "I like it. Our parents didn't want us to have to worry about paying for our education or accommodation, so we each have a small apartment. My Uncle manages all that kind of stuff for us. They were rented out mostly, Mae lives in hers with a friend and Alfie and Iris's places are still rented but I decided to live in mine this year because it's close to College and I needed peace and quiet to study. It's perfect."

"Peace and quiet sounds nice. Although my folks place is pretty quiet."

Lola guessed that most of their catching up was going to either be at her place or the yacht and she didn't mind that at all, she felt comfortable here and she had fallen in love with his yacht. Riley sat back and watched her do her thing and found it enchanting, she obviously knew her way around a kitchen. "Can I help?"

"No, it's fine." She was cooking a Thai Green Curry and it smelt incredible. Riley was surprised when Lola told him that she remembered him ordering it at a dinner they were all out one night in a group. It was a few months ago. He teased her that she must have been keeping an eye on him for quite a while and she just took a sip of her wine and cocked her head to the side and smiled.

Riley jumped up and cleared away the dishes once they'd eaten. He put everything he could in the dishwasher and bought back the wine and topped up their glasses. "You cook good." He kissed her sweetly as he sat back down. "So first date number two is a success."

"Not yet."

"The rest is a given." He sat on the couch and patted the space between his legs. "Come sit with me." Lola was happy to rest against him and enjoy a quiet moment.

They talked about the exam they had coming up and how much study they still had to do. Lola didn't really like studying with people, she found them annoying when they kept talking but she had no idea what Riley was like. He seemed to have all his shit together and she never saw him worried about anything.

"I struggle. Like I even studied this morning because I knew I was going to lose the rest of the day. Last week I got up at 5am to study and then spent all day Sunday catching up." Riley admitted when Lola told him she was jealous of how easy he made it seem. "If I don't put in the time I really notice it."

"I always have Saturdays off. My Dad did his PhD while he was working and having three kids and he always told me no matter what you are doing one day a week you need to not do that." Lola paused for a minute. "That was really important to him and Mom deserved it. She did the hard yards with us but she was so proud of him."

"Wise man." For someone who didn't talk about her parents a lot with people she didn't know they obviously made up a huge part of who she was and guided her to this day. "What was his PhD in?"

"Wild Genetic Material Harvesting for Captive Herd Expansion."

"What?"

"Welcome to the world of a Zoologist. He would go out into the wild in Africa, capture wild animals, basically sedate them, whack them off, collect the genetic material and impregnate captive species to extend the captive gene pool."

"Fuck. That sounds…..nasty and…dangerous….and weird."

"Yes, yes and yes." Lola knew how weird it sounded. "You know there is an old blog of his, I will show it to you one day." Even now she still read it, even though every word was committed to memory. Mae had organised to have it printed and bound into a book for each of them because that blog was their childhood, their life before it fell apart and it was nice to remember it. "It's pretty funny."

"Can't wait."

"You want to learn about giving a hand job to a Rhino?"

"I am constantly surprised by you." He was going to be surprised because she neglected to tell him that there was a lot about them as kids in the blog. She'd let him discover that himself.

Lola turned around, she still sat between his legs as he reclined in the corner of her couch, and she crossed her legs. "Can I ask you some questions?"

"Twenty questions?"

"Maybe not twenty but yes." She waited until Riley nodded, he had no idea what he was letting himself in for but was willing to give it a go. "Food you hate?"

"Umm, peas."

"Really peas? There were peas in the curry and you didn't say a word."

"I was trying to impress you."

"I've seen your dick." she waved her hand in the direction of his groin and he just about choked on his wine. "You don't need to try."

He laughed. "Good to know. Next?"

"Food you love?"

"Your green chicken curry." Lola slapped him playfully on the chest. "Ah okay, serious question. Pork Belly."

"Ohhhh I love pork belly. I make an awesome pork belly." Lola was getting excited. "Okay, tea or coffee?"

"Coffee all day, tea in the morning."

"Bourbon or Whiskey."

"Whiskey." Lola was delighted, she hated Bourbon with a passion but loved Whiskey, probably because she always shared one with her Dad and then her Pops. They often had a Whiskey together late at night if she was around or after Sunday night dinner. It was a tradition.

"Scrabble or Monopoly?"

"Monopoly. I like taking people to the cleaners, in a completely competitive, win at all costs because it's a game type of way."

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

"Seventeen. You?"

"Nah, I'm asking the questions." She shook her head lightly. "Chocolate or Ice-cream?"

"Chocolate."

"Morning sex or shower sex?"

"Morning shower sex."

"Are you staying tonight or going home?"

"Staying."

Lola uncrossed her legs and wiggled forward "Good answer. Do you want to play monopoly?"

"No." Riley ran his hands down her back and under her butt so he could lift her up and into his lap. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Yes." She grabbed his cheeks and kissed him hard. It got wild quickly and Lola pulled a rug off the back of the couch and threw it on the floor and that's as far as they got the first time round. The groove they got into was surprising and they were enjoying getting to know each other, both intellectually and physically.

He asked her to roll over onto her stomach. "Why?

"I just want to learn every vertebrae, what it looks like, what it feels like, what it tastes like." Lola rolled over, he grabbed a cushion from the couch so she could rest her head comfortably and started by running his hand up and down her spine. Then he started at the top, feeling each bone and kissing it lightly. He was slow and deliberate and it was unbelievably sexy. She loved every minute of it. He drew circles on her back as he lay down beside her. Lola turned her head to face him and he was so close but he said nothing.

Lola moved first, it was slow, the only part of them touching was their mouths. The kiss was deep and it left them both gasping due to the intensity of the moment.

They finally crawled into bed, but the effort of moving just got them worked up again. It was a long night and eventually they both slept well, exhausted from all the activity. Lola bought him breakfast in bed, with a cup of tea. "Morning sleepy head."

"It is now." He reached for his phone and checked the time. "Wow, it's late." It was almost ten and that was late for him on a Sunday. He'd usually been studying for a couple of hours by now. "How are you?"

"Hungry." She set the tray down in front of him. Bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. "You need a good hearty breakfast to help your mind work properly for study."

"Not worried about my mind right now."

Lola cocked her head to the side and bit her bottom lip. "I'm not that interested in it right now either, your mind that is, other parts, I am quite interested. Eat up buttercup."

"Nice tea." He tilted the cup in her direction. "So last night's twenty questions was all about wooing me?"

"Yes. I have a list." She started ticking them off. "I have an ideal date planned now. Pork Belly, no peas followed by chocolate for dessert and a glass of whiskey. A game of monopoly where I let you win and in the morning a cup of tea and some hot and heavy shower sex."

"Can't wait. Sounds like the perfect date to me, a bit like this date was." He pulled her down on to the bed. "I've got some questions though. Well just one…" Riley lifted up his shirt which she had pulled on when she got out of bed.

Lola held her breath, she knew it was coming. He wasn't going to stop until he knew the story behind it. He bent down and kissed her tattoo. "Tell me about this."

"Well the leopard is me."

He ran his finger around the edge of it. "And the Rhino?"

"Mae, the giraffe is Alfie and the wombat is Iris."

"It's beautiful."

"When we were born we each got a different animal as our companion. I got the leopard because my Dad bought home a leopard cub when Mom was pregnant with me to look after and they bonded. Mae was born while Dad was bringing Ada, his Rhino over from Kenya and he missed her birth because of it. The giraffe, I think Mae chose that, she loved the giraffes and wombat was because Iris was born in Australia and Alfie chose it. When we left Australia the first time their friends had this painting commissioned of the four animals and that's the tattoo."

"It's amazing. Do you all have one?"

"Three of us, Bug has to wait until she's 18 and we will take her to get hers done. It's a deal we made." Riley kissed it, lingering on the leopard and Lola loved it. It was very sweet, he was doing everything right and she was surprised at how much she had already told him about herself and her family.

The shower sex was hot, it wasn't just the water steaming up the mirrors. "Let go." He growled in her ear and he held her up against the wall, one of her legs wrapped around his waist.

It was a little bittersweet saying goodbye knowing that it would be another week until they had this again. That was the deal at this stage. During the week they would talk, message and perhaps grab lunch together if their schedules lined up but weekends were when the magic could happen.

As soon as he got home he sent her a message. '_Lola Ruzek Hollister, Lola Bear, fierce as a leopard.'_


	4. Are You Ready?

"Are you ready?" Surprisingly they had spent the afternoon studying together and it didn't annoy Lola. He was head down, ploughing through his current essay. They had placements coming up and wouldn't get to see each other much for a few weeks. It was unlikely their shifts would match up and they were on different sides of the city.

"To be thrown to the wolves?"

"It's not that bad, and I can tell you it's like ripping off a band-aid. You'll get a bunch of them out of the way all at once."

Lola was taking Riley to Sunday Night Dinner.

They had been dating for almost two months and they loved the way it was going. They were having fun, a lot of fun and not just in the bedroom. Riley had learnt a lot about her and as of yet hadn't ran which Lola found comforting. Nor did he roll his eyes when she got deep or emotional or lost herself in her past.

"How's my little ZooKeeper?" He chirped as soon as Lola opened her door one Friday night. He was leaning on the doorframe with a pizza box in his hand. "You want me to just slide it under the door?"

"You read it."

"Read it, laughed so hard I cried. I'm not finished though. I'm pacing myself." He kissed her slowly. It had been a long week of not seeing each other. "But I am very glad you got over the sex phobia you had."

"It wasn't a phobia, it just sounded disgusting."

"It is disgusting but so fucking incredible. I'd like to make sure you are fully over it right now." He slid the pizza box on the bench and pushed Lola up against the bench and started to attack her neck and his hands were clawing at her top. Her resistance was brief almost as brief as the sex was, but it didn't matter. It felt great. It was like popping the cork on a champagne bottle, it went off with a bang and then you got to take a breath and enjoy the rest of the bottle at a leisurely pace.

Lola grabbed the pizza box and some napkins while Riley disappeared into the bathroom briefly. She was sitting crossed legged on the floor and was already tucking into her first piece. "How far did you get?"

"You've just asked to be sterilised. By the way, you are not are you?"

"No. I was ten and just learnt how baby's come out and it freaked me out. Still does. Like seriously, it could have been designed better."

"I think you'll make a beautiful mother," Riley looked like he wanted to say something else but held it back. She was making him think about things he never imagined. Not this early into a relationship anyway. "One day. You'll make some one very happy."

Lola just smiled and ignored it, handing Riley a slice of pizza. She did laugh when she opened the box and found pineapple on top of it. He screwed up his nose when he tasted it. "That's just nasty."

"I love it." She was looking forward to him reading the rest of the blogs. It was sweet that he found them so amusing and it was making her fall harder for him that he was delighting in all these memories of her past and reliving them with her.

Now it was time for him to meet the rest of the mob.

"Who is going to be there again?"

"Just my MiMi and Pops, Angus and Rhiannon and Charlie, and Mae and Iris, but you've already met Bug and Mae."

"Well I didn't really meet Mae did I? You were embarrassed by me then."

"I wasn't embarrassed, I was scared."

"Of me?"

"Of feeling something."

"Is there anyone you missed?" He didn't feel at all confident about meeting everyone all at once. A few at a time would have been much better but apparently that's not how they worked. It was one in all in.

"Alfie, he couldn't make the flight back in time." Lola shrugged. "Oh and Heidi and Hudson, Andrew and Dylan. They all couldn't make it. Iris rang them and begged but it's your lucky day. You just get the Ruzek treatment tonight. I'll save the Hollister side for another day."

The only concession Lola made was getting there a little early so that Riley could meet her grandparents first. He had seen photos of them and Lola had told him that they were great for their age, but he had never met such energetic 85 year olds. They were great, and her MiMi was a sweet old lady. He could see a little bit of Lola in her, and judging by the photo's he had seen of her mother, Polly had been just like her Mom.

"Pops." Lola led him outside. The day he wasn't outside cooking the meat for dinner on a Sunday was the day he was six foot under. "What's on the menu?" She kissed his cheek and slipped an arm over his shoulder and peered at the barbecue. "Pork?"

"Always pork Lola Bear." He wiped his hands on his apron and closed the lid. "So where is this boy who thinks he's good enough for my Lola?"

She introduced him to Riley and she could tell that Riley was nervous. He knew that Adam held the key to his longevity. She had told him how he had chased off more than a few boys in his time, from her mother, from her and from Mae. The fact she had reminded him of this on the way over hadn't helped his nerves. "Nice to meet you Sir." Riley shook his hand.

"Sir?" Adam grumbled. "Makes me sound fucking old."

"You are old Pops."

"Just like your mother, so much disrespect." He shook his head.

Lola laughed and kiss his cheek. "Love you too Pops."

"So Med Student?" He turned back to Riley. "I suppose that's good enough. Better than the last one, what did he do, Lola Bear? Do you remember? Ah yes, he wrote shit sometimes. Not very good shit apparently because he couldn't get a job. I guess you don't have a job either."

"I do, a bit of courier work, clean boats and a bit of tutoring on the side."

"And you've got time for my princess?"

"Always time for Lola." Riley liked him and Lola's face was alive. She loved being around her grandparents that much was obvious. He would have loved to have seen her with her parents, he imagined, from what she had told him that her Pops and her Mom were especially close.

"Good. Does he break furniture?" Adam asked Lola.

"No Pops, please don't. He hasn't read that far yet."

"You are letting him read the blog. Wow, must be serious. You know if you make it to the end you have to marry her."

"Pops." Lola shrieked. "Ignore him Riley. He's old and demented."

"Harsh Lola Bear, very harsh." Riley had no idea what was going on and felt it wise to stay out of it. He really needed to finish reading that blog though.

He had only read a couple more entries, they had been knee deep in exams lately. The end of their 3rd year was rapidly approaching and that was the focus. One weekend though he did manage to let Lola know where he was up too on the blog. She was starting to look forward to his progress through it because he came up with interesting ways to show her.

They had taken the boat out again and Riley insisted on cooking on the tiny grill he pulled out of nowhere. Lola squealed happily when he cooked them sausages and onions. Having searched far and wide for actual sausages, not hotdogs he ended up getting his Mom to make some from scratch. It was perfect and Lola was unable and unwilling to stop her rapidly growing feelings for him.

"Okay, now. I've got this thing on my computer we are going to sit and watch and you can explain to me what the hell is going on." They settled in below deck as the night cooled off. The days were getting warmer but night's still held that chill.

"Oh my god. Its Football isn't it?"

Sure enough they watched a game of Australian Rules Football. Lola didn't watch it much anymore but if she came across a game on TV she would always check it out. Now that Alfie was back in Australia as well he had got back into it in a big way and that had re-ignitied Lola's love for it. Riley was permanently confused by it but admitted it was an exciting game to watch and they often watched games together if it was on.

The noise level increased in the house and Lola just smiled at Riley. She knew what was about to happen. "Where is he?" They could hear him asking his mother and Kim telling him to be nice. "He better not be all over her like the last idiot."

"And that is Gus, my Uncle."

"Lola…" Riley whined a little. "…I am starting to hyperventilate."

"Suck it up."

Gus burst out the back door and he was just as imposing as her grandfather had been. Adam may have got a bit more of a stoop now but he was still impressive and her Uncle obviously took after him. He knew he was a cop too, which didn't make him feel much better.

"How good am I Lola, I've left my gun at home like you told me too."

"Lola." Riley hissed desperately.

"So this is Riley." Gus shook his hand after kissing Lola's cheek, she just ignored the distressed man quivering beside her. "I've read his resume. I have a few questions."

"Fuck off Gus." Lola made a half-hearted attempt to save Riley from Gus's grilling.

"Such a potty mouth, just like her mother."

It just became a procession of people hanging shit on him when her sisters arrived and all he could do was suck it up and wait and eventually it turned to Lola and they started telling stories about her escapades growing up and that was hilarious. Rhiannon told him about her first dinner with the family when Lola announced that she'd caught her parents having sex. "Her Dad just kept topping up my wine. _Shall I get you another drink? You might need it_." She impersonated Sam. "I had no idea where to even look."

He got to hear about her first boyfriend and then when she was sprayed with elephant urine and had spewed all over the place. From the sounds of it she did a lot of spewing as a child. They couldn't actually believe she was doing medicine considering her tendency to heave as soon as something turned nasty.

"Lola took me to the zoo for her first attempt at organising a date. She didn't tell me about the peeing and spewing but that explains why we didn't spend much time with the elephants."

"Did she show you where our Dad knocked our Mom up? You know she was conceived on the bonnet of a car in the parking lot?" Mae always took great delight in telling that story. "She is the result of a quickie, whereas I…" she pointed to herself before indicating in Iris's direction. '… was the result of something more romantic and pure and Iris was just a freak of nature. I was the only one they actually wanted."

Lola could have hit Mae, if she could reach and Rhiannon just laughed and shrugged her shoulders as she looked at Riley. Kim sighed, this had officially gone way off course. Or as Sam often liked to call it, they were in the middle of a 'fuckening.'

"No. Really?" Riley laughed at the look of horror on Lola's face. "Interesting."

"Don't get any fucking ideas." Adam growled.

"Pops… Think of the children." Iris wasn't quite the innocent she was pretending to be, but she did love stirring the shit out of her sister. "But I think they wanted me the most. I mean I had many obstacles to overcome. The vasectomy and all. You all just happened whenever they decided to breed."

"You've got mistake written all over you." Mae countered and Riley just tried not to make eye contact with anyone.

"I'd hardly call that a mistake, Lola was a mistake."

"True…" Mae nodded. "…Dad always said Mom's uterus just kept rolling out the welcome mat."

"That's disgusting." Iris had heard enough. She could only cope with so much of this conversation.

"Oh Bug, I've read the smutty screenplay you wrote remember?" Lola had been a little shocked when Iris had shown her something she had written and got swept up in the banter like they always did. There was no way she could submit it for her Drama class and it was cringeworthy bad because in all honesty Iris had no idea about what sex actually involved. It was graphic and she used every cliché in the book but it was out there and Lola had been floored. Mae, when she read it roared with laughter and Iris had got all huffy. "Don't play all innocent now."

"Whoa, hold up. What smutty screenplay?" Adam didn't know about any of this and he wanted to know more. Kim didn't, Kim wanted them to stop but that was like trying to hold back the tide.

"It was nothing Pops." Iris was furious at her sisters. "I was just mucking around."

"How do you know about smutty stuff."

"She doesn't Pops." Lola felt a little sorry for Iris, they shouldn't have bought it up. She was blushing furiously.

Mae didn't have such concerns. "Trust me, reading that, she don't know nothin'."

Kim just sighed. "Nothing ever changes, you are all still idiots."

"So…" Riley had escaped and was helping with the dishes and Lola followed him. "…that's the circus."

"Interesting. Explains a lot." He handed Lola the pot to dry. "I have a list of things you now need to explain."

"All in good time. I like to be a bit of a mystery."

"Lola that's not a mystery, that's fucking insanity masquerading as a loving family."

"You don't like them?"

"No, I love them. Funniest night I've had in a long time. You guys should take that show on the road, you'd make a fortune."

It took a little bit of searching, planning and investigating and far too much money than was necessary but this had become a thing and he was loving how much Lola loved his 'blog reveals'. One part of it was easy, the other, not so much.

The weather was warming up and they were not far from final exams. He thought about waiting but it had been a stressful couple of weeks and they needed to blow the top off. They took the boat out for the weekend. Lola had really got into this whole sailing thing and begged Riley to teach her how to help.

She was learning and loving it and she was loving spending time with Riley. He had made trusting him easy and she felt comfortable talking about her past with him. He just accepted that she had a lot of emotional baggage and learnt quickly how to help her, sometimes it was holding on tight and other times it was giving her space.

Riley was already down at the marina when Lola finished her last tutorial for the week. "Here's my pretty little leopard." He looked up as she approached. "How was it?"

"Ughhh, can we not talk about it. Why do some people make things hard? It wasn't hard to understand yet we spent most of the time arguing over the way the question was fucking written rather than just answering it."

"That's because you are smart."

"Anyway, all I want now is a hug, a glass of wine and to get out of this place."

"Your wish is my command." Lola threw him her bag and then held out her hand so he could help her aboard and she got both a hug and a kiss. "I've missed you this week." They had barely seen each other.

"Fucking ditto."

He quickly took her bag down below and then pushed back and they headed out. They wouldn't have a drink until they were safely anchored. They would head about two hours up and then spend the night and head off early the next morning for another couple of hours. They didn't want to go too far as it would be a long sail back on Sunday but they wanted to get far enough away so they could forget all about Chicago.

Riley had taught her how to steer the boat but he still liked standing behind her and covering her hands with his as they steered together. It was romantic and sexy and gave them a chance to let their bodies melt together. "I've got a surprise for you."

"Step much closer and I will feel it."

"Oh I swear you only want me for my penis."

"You shouldn't be so good at it."

"I aim to please." He kissed her behind the ear.

He sent her down below to make dinner. "I bought a bag of groceries. I haven't unpacked them yet. It's on the table."

"No fucking way." She squealed and came flying up the stairs. "How the hell did you find these?" In her hands was a collection of little bunches of bananas. He had obviously read the blog chapter called the Little Shop of Horrors about the miniature grocery items they fought over and her parents sucked up the vacuum cleaner.

"I am a man of many talents. Slightly less well-off now but kinda happy with my work." He held his arms out and Lola was more than happy to snuggle into them.

"You are a constant surprise."

"And you…" he touched her nose playfully. "…all of you were batshit crazy as kids."

"I am so taking these to dinner." She headed back down below. "Mae will love them."

"Did ever get the shoes with the clip cloppy heels?"

"No I didn't." she pouted.

They dropped anchor and had dinner, drank some wine and unwound after a hectic few weeks. Riley even convinced Lola to go for a swim. She wasn't quite ready for a skinny dip, it needed to be much warmer and much more isolated. One day he would get her nuded up but right now he settled for her in a bikini and that wasn't unpleasant. It was bloody spectacular and they had fun. Lola climbed onto his back and made him swim back to the boat when she felt something touch her. He had to admit waiting for Lola to climb the ladder wasn't a waste of his time, because her barely covered ass was right in his face and he took great delight coping a feel.

"Go have a shower." He slapped her playfully on the butt when she shivered. "I'd join you but there isn't enough room." They could probably both get in there but they couldn't do anything or even move it was that small.

Lola showered while Riley did the final night check and locked down. He jumped in the shower and when he came out Lola was sitting in the middle of the bed clutching his other surprise.

In her hands was a stuffed toy emu. He leant on the cupboard and smiled.

Lola was running her hands over its frizzy coat. She knew exactly what this was from. Her Christmas concert outfit. When Mae had done the books for them she included photos that their Mom and Dad had taken of the time, he had never really included photos of them and when he did they never showed their faces, so Mae had added them into the book. "Hey Riley… I love you."

"Huh?"

"I love you, I'm in love with you." She gushed nervously. "You made me love you." Riley just watched her and kept smiling. "What? Oh okay…" her voice trembled and she clutched the emu tightly. "..it's okay. I mean, it's not okay but I get it. You think I am insane, I mean it hasn't been very long and I know I am a mess sometimes. I have all this baggage and I get that you might not want to be with someone like me. I mean it's fun…."

"Are you going to let me say something?"

"You don't have to say anything."

"Okay…" he shrugged and then crawled over the small bed and captured her lips in a soft kiss. "I won't say anything."

"I mean you can say something, if you want too. You don't have to though."

Her rambling was cute but he was torturing her. "You know what? A couple of weeks ago I looked at you and I thought, holy shit, I love this woman. You weren't even doing anything sexy or really that interesting but you were there and I looked at you and thought, this is it. This is what it feels like."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to scare you off. I waited so long for you to even give me a chance." He blushed a little and it was cute to see how nervous he was. "It was so quick and I was worried you'd think it was too soon."

"I'm not scared of you anymore." He cocked his head and looked confused. "I'm not scared to let myself feel something for you and I'm not scared to think that you feel something."

"Good." He chuckled a little. They were both ridiculously nervous.

"You could have stopped my rambling."

"It was cute." Riley kissed her again. "And it made me love you just a little bit more."

"The emu is cute."

"So, don't care about the emu right now." He grabbed it out of her hands and tossed it aside.

Lola laughed at his pronunciation. "It's E…MEW…not E…MOO."

"So don't care." He was kissing her neck and clawing at her robe. Lola knew better than to bother putting anything back on when she got out of the shower. Riley had wrapped a towel around his waist and that disappeared as quick as her robe. They were both eager to see if those three little words changed how this felt.

And it did, it surprised them a little. They'd done wild, they'd done quick, they'd done slow but they'd never done this. It was long and slow and deep, those words had changed everything. "Wow." Lola tried to catch her breath. "Where the hell did that come from?" It had been intense, the long slow build up had led to a stunning climax.

"Oh god, I don't know." Riley gasped. He rolled onto his side and propped himself up. "Hey, Lola Bear, I love you."

"I think we need to stay together."

"I think we do too. Sex that good is too precious to waste." He kissed her collarbone. "It would be a tragedy."

"I am a tragedy."

"And I love all your broken little pieces, all your sad bits, your fears, your heartbreak and your fragile heart. I love them as much as I love your beautiful heart, the way you love your family, your humour, your laugh and smile, your mind, your brain and your incredible body. There is not a piece of you I don't love." She felt him smiling against her skin as he kissed her shoulders and chest. "I love sex with you, I love kissing you, I love talking to you, touching you, sleeping next to you, waking up beside you. I love learning about your past, I love your future. I love watching you remember."

"Are you done?"

"I am done. Did I miss anything?"

"No, perfect. I think though that bit about loving my broken pieces. I liked that." That was something that Lola was really loving about Riley. He didn't try to fix her, everyone wanted to fix her or tell her how to fix herself and that's not what she needed. This was who she was, take it or leave it.

"Your broken pieces are mesmerising, and not because I like to see you broken but it's who you are and that I find beautiful. I love that you trust me with them."

"I love you."

"So you keep saying."

They had no intention of moving for the rest of the night. Riley did get up and get them a whiskey to share. It had only been very recently that Lola had only bought over one glass of whiskey when she asked if he wanted one. The first thing he thought of was that she was pregnant, despite her drinking wine through dinner. They had been careful, not perfect but they tried. She saw the look on his face and she muttered 'just in case' before cracking up.

"What?"

"Relax stud, I remain unfertilised."

"I am not sure I will ever get used to the way you lot discuss things. All I have running around in my head is 'am I sure one of my little fuckers didn't escape'. See what you lot do to me?"

"Ahhh, Mabel's insanity." He had found that hilarious and then when he met Mae properly it didn't take long to figure out that nothing had changed. "No, this is a little bit of a tradition."

"Your Mom and Dad?"

"No, Pops and MiMi. They always share one glass, always."

"So they are old romantics?"

"Not very often and MiMi always complained that he wasn't very romantic but when he did put the effort in he always knocked it out of the park. It was a lot of little things, like sharing one glass. MiMi really loves that, I think they still do it."

Riley handed Lola the glass and shuffled back on to the bed. He stretched out across her lap and embraced the moment. "What about your parents, what did they do?"

"Lots of little things." Her eyes clouded over a little so Riley changed the subject. He would ask things, Lola was always quick to let him know she wasn't ready to go there and he never pushed her.

"Do you know how hard it was to find those bloody bananas?"

"I remember those, we had so fucking many of them. Alfie lost his shit one day in a Supermarket car park because he got more bananas. He thought Dad was doing it on purpose. After that he would only go to the shops with Mom because he never got bananas with her. He even begged Dad not to go to the shops and let Mom go." She laughed. "We were obsessed."

Riley was already up on deck when Lola finally woke, not that it was late but he was up early. She always slept well on the boat, the gentle rocking soothed her. They also were always pretty busy, either sailing and all that entailed or making the most of the long lazy nights with no interruptions; no phones, TV's or computers.

"Good Morning. Sleep well?"

"Always." He already had a cup of coffee in his hand. "You should have woken me?"

"You looked so peaceful, you needed the rest." Lola took the proffered cup and appreciated that he liked his coffee the same as hers. Black, strong and hot. "I wanted to get ready to leave as soon as we've eaten breakfast." The sun was barely up and it was a beautiful still morning. "Come here." He beckoned her closer and leant in for a kiss. "Still love me?"

"Yes."

It had been the perfect weekend and they were both glad that got to spend it together and enjoy the afterglow of realising that they were creating something magical.

Mae really liked Riley, she liked him for her sister. Lola had been a little unlucky in love, probably because she never really found the person that she could really just be herself with. Riley seemed to get her. He was smart and funny and seemed as dedicated to his career as Lola was and on top of all that he was kind, he was a nice guy and he was patient with her, he calmed her down.

She was always going to be on her sister's side and she saw how happy Lola was and she gushed about his sweet little reminders of her past as he read through her Dad's blog. When she told her about the mini bananas and the emu she had an idea what was coming up next and made the decision to give him a bit of a head's up about what she thought he might do and how well that would be received.

Pulling him aside in the kitchen after dinner one night Riley expected to get a bit of a lecture. They still happened quite randomly.

"Lola seems really happy."

"I hope so, we are really happy together."

"It looks like it." Mae almost waved him away. "Anyway, I want to give you a bit of advice. I know you are doing things from the blog to remind her of our childhood and she loves it, she really does."

"I hope so, I love doing it."

"Hmm, I hope I meet someone who is as creative as you." She leant forward and lowered her voice. "I know you love her."

"Yep, it's no secret."

"God no, it's written all over your face. I am not sure where you are at with the blog."

"Bug was just born."

"Funny. We were all so excited." Mae remembered wistfully. "We had no idea how she would turn our house upside down."

"Two Mabels?"

"I was seven and very happy with myself." Mae chuckled.

"I love how your Dad always just expected you'd have a list, like the list of names for the worms."

"Yeah, I never stopped writing them and I have a book full of lists of everything I wanted to say to them, everything I would do if they came back. It was stupid."

"So not stupid Mae, its not stupid if it helped you cope."

"Yeah, anyway. Alfie stopped playing with his trains. He packed them away and still has them but he wouldn't play with them." Mae shrugged. "We all have our things."

They were interrupted by Lola, wondering what they were talking about. "Oh, just your dirty little secrets." Mae laughed. "How you used to torture me when I was a baby."

"All lies."

"Hmmm, I don't know I tend to believe Mae." Riley always loved the banter between Lola and her sister's.

"Remember when we told Alfie that he couldn't hold Iris because he'd probably step on her and she'd die?" Lola laughed and Mae giggled. It was very cute and a little horrifying. Poor Alfie. He was looking forward to meeting him one day.

"You did what?"

"He was being a pain in the ass, he kept telling us that Iris loved him more and then he stepped on my doll's head and I told him that he'd step on Iris's head and she'd die." Lola explained. "Man, were Mom and Dad pissed when they found out? Pops gave us this huge lecture too. Alfie lapped it up, Mom and Dad were all over him because we'd upset him and that pissed us off even more."

"We were bitches. Trust me, you'll read that chapter soon." Mae roared with laughter. "You'll know the one. I don't think the blog talks about why he did what he did, but that's the reason."

His next date was a trip to Ikea and Lola loved it, he also organised for the girls to have a day spa and it didn't take long until they worked out why. He had paid for them to have a mud wrap. It was his version of the shit bath that Iris put them through.

"You know Lola, I am a little jealous."

"Why?"

"All this, most guys would want to avoid all this in case it 'set you' off and made you a blubbering mess. Riley is the exact opposite." Mae complained playfully when Iris declared that this was the most romantic thing ever!

"I know, I didn't think I'd like it either, I mean I hardly look at that book anymore, I mean I know it by heart but it's been fun seeing where he is at and what he thinks."

"That's because you love him." Both Mae and Iris teased her.

"Well yes, obviously." Lola blushed, she had fallen head over heels in love with him in the blink of an eye.


	5. A Good Old Fashioned Ruzek Rant

Riley rested his hand in the middle of her back and steered her through the restaurant towards their table. They were having dinner with his best friend, Jameson and his partner, Bella. Riley had told her a lot about Jameson but did admit he didn't love Bella. He found her a little fake, but she made his buddy happy and that was good enough for him.

He introduced Lola to them both and then pulled out her chair for her to sit. "It's nice to finally meet you." Jameson offered her a glass of wine and Lola thanked him. "Riley was very secretive for a while."

"I think he was worried I was going to be a bit crazy."

"Bunny Boiler?"

"Something like that, although I think I had more cause for concern. He took me out to the middle of nowhere on a boat for our first date."

"That's just him being smooth."

"He was very smooth."

Lola could see why Riley found Bella a touch fake. She laughed a little too hard. Her hair was a little overdone, her make-up piled on and the longest fakest eyelashes Lola had ever seen. It was all a little much but she was nice, she was friendly and she could see that they really did look happy together.

They had a nice night, Lola loved asking Jameson to tell her more stories about Riley and he even admitted he thought he was a little crazy hanging around waiting for this 'chick' he was besotted with to throw him a bone.

"Guilty as charged." Lola held up her hand.

"He's a smart guy though, smarter than me." Jameson admitted. "I can see why, he looks happy."

"We should take your boat out for a weekend?" Riley changed the subject.

"Good idea."

"Oh you sail too?"

"Sail" Riley snorted. "Guy can't sail to save himself. He's a lazy boatie."

"We have a cruiser, it's bigger than that little yacht, better for weekends with friends. A lot more room to play with."

"Oh, I like the sound of that. Especially if I don't have to help yank in sails and get to relax."

"It's all relaxing." Bella promised her. Bella certainly didn't look like she was one to pitch in with the hard stuff.

They threw around a few possible weekends. "Last weekend in July, miss all that crazy 4th July stuff. It's like driving downtown that weekend." Jameson hated taking the boat out on 4th of July but he always had friends begging him to do so.

"I have a charity dinner that weekend."

"Make a donation and blow it off." Bella laughed.

Jameson agreed. "Could think of nothing worse than getting suited up for a dinner with 1000 people you don't know. Compare that to champagne at sunset on the back of a boat."

Riley reached for her leg under the table. He wanted them to shut up. "I can't do that." She didn't elaborate.

"What's the charity?"

"BraveHearts."

Bella was smart enough to pick up that they couldn't joke about it. "Oh, I know that one. My parents went one year, years ago said it was a lovely night. Started by some women who's friend committed suicide, she's dead now too and they keep it going for her too now I hear."

Riley felt her wilt a little. Lola reached for her wine and took a sip as Bella kept chatting. "Have you been before?"

Lola wasn't ready to tell people she'd just met the reasons why so she answered plainly. "I have. I go every year." She smiled and squeezed Riley's hand on her leg. "So what about the weekend after?"

"Sounds good to me." Riley chimed in. "I'll check to make sure I'm not working."

Bella wasn't stupid, something seemed off about that conversation. She followed Lola to the Ladies room and apologised. "Did I say something to upset you?"

"What? No." Lola smiled awkwardly. "Don't worry about it. It's just a family commitment."

"Oh, but you don't want to talk about it right?"

"Not right now. I'd rather talk about this weekend away, I can't wait. I didn't think I'd love being on the water as much as I do. It was all new for me but I love it." She was good at pushing things aside.

Jameson leant back in his chair as soon as the girls left. "Bud, you've done well. I didn't think you had it in you. She's sweet."

"She is, she's great."

"You are whipped man."

"Just a bit and more than happy with that. Lola is fascinating, more than I expected I can tell you."

"I got a bit of something off her though, about that dinner. I saw you look at her. I can read you like a book. You forget that sometimes."

"It's fine. It's something that she does with her family every year. It's important to them. She's not going to miss it."

"We didn't mean to upset her."

"You didn't. Trust me, Lola's okay."

Jameson thought about it for a moment, he put two and two together. "It's her family isn't it? Her Mother started it, the one that died?"

"Yes, can we please not talk about it. Lola prefers not talk about it, when she's ready to tell you she will. Lola's okay."

And she was, by the time they came back they were laughing together. Jameson watched them for a moment and he could see why Riley was intrigued by her, whatever she was worried about she had put aside and Riley didn't look concerned. Lola had them laughing as she told them a story about a simulated birth they had to do and how one of their fellow students actually fainted, despite it not being real. "I am not sure obstetrics is his jam."

"His name was Riley Whittaker was it?"

"No, he did get a little sweat up though." Lola winked at him. "I'm not sure obstetrics is his thing either, he seems a bit hysterical about it all."

"You already told me you think it's poorly designed for that task?"

"Well, it is but let's not get into a discussion about design faults of the human reproductive system, this is a nice establishment and these are nice people." Riley was always amused by Lola and her crazy conversations.

"Now I am intrigued." Jameson made himself comfortable. "Do tell?"

"Please, don't encourage her. You are inviting a whole level of insanity I am not sure you are prepared for. I know the people at the next table aren't and there will be hand waving and quite graphic descriptions and I really, really don't want to be kicked out of here. I like this place."

It was too late, Jameson encouraged her and Lola couldn't help herself. She leant forward and whispered quietly. "I mean the penis, what the fuck is that? It screams poor design. It's like he got bored and just said fuck it, just hang it from the body like a piece of string. It's just in the way all the time, you cook in the nude, it's like just there, getting in your food, you want someone to sit on your lap, whoops sorry let me just tuck this out of the way so you don't squash it and low and behold, something makes you happy then every fucker gets to see it. Like when we get happy…" She pointed at Bella, "…we don't share it with the world."

There was hand waving. "And whoops, I've got some left over skin and these balls, I don't know what to do with them so let's just hang 'em in an ugly scrawny sack near the asshole, because that's pleasant. If it's so fucking delicate, why hang 'em like that? It just screams punch me; they are like little punching bags. Like stick 'em up inside and protect them a bit."

Riley just sat and sipped his wine. "I warned you." Jameson and Bella had a bemused look on their faces and once she finished Jameson roared with laughter.

"I can't wait to hear your take on the female reproductive system."

"You can wait." Riley was pretty sure they could, although she was a lot more complimentary about that than she was about the male equivalent.

"I feel sorry for you man." His buddy clapped him on the shoulder. "I know you hold your manhood in high regard."

"Never said I didn't like it…" Lola smiled sweetly, leaning into him. "…I mean it's ugly as fuck but I'm more than happy with its work. I'm quite fond of it actually."

"You're fucking insane." He muttered, his eyes twinkling.

"Too far?"

"Nope. I love sharing your insanity around. People don't believe it when I tell them, they have to witness it. It's best if it's an immersive experience, far more entertaining."

"Did I embarrass you?" Lola was slurring a little when they finally called it a night. They'd hit up a whiskey bar and had fun. Lola was more than happy to hang Riley out to dry and he didn't miss her with his back swing either.

"Nope, not at all. Loved every minute of it. They liked you."

"Jameson's opinion means a lot to you doesn't it?"

"It does, we've been friends longer than I can remember."

"He told me you like blonds."

"Did he?" It was true, Riley had nearly always gone for blonds. When Lola caught his eye the first time he had been surprised. He'd heard her laugh first and there was something about it, it was full and deep and rang out over everyone else. When he looked she was smiling, but her eyes weren't. There was something in them that drew him in, never in a million years did he expect to be so completely swept away by those pained eyes.

"So? Do I need to dye my hair?"

"Don't you dare. That was my shallow youth, this is the real deal. This is it." He pulled Lola down onto his lap. "He liked you."

"Even with my penis rant?"

He laughed. "Yes."

Lola was a wild ride, she surprised him every day. When he chased her he thought she was a little shy and that's why she was avoiding him. She was anything but shy and her learnt that very quickly, on their first date to be exact. He'd been stunned by her, fascinated and she had reeled him in moment by moment.

Riley had let himself into her apartment, he actually spent more time here than anywhere else at the moment. They probably should just make it official and move in together but they were both busy with work and study to do anything about it. So they just let it slide, come and went as they pleased and gradually he had more stuff here than at his actual home.

Don't tell me what to fucking do?" Lola yelled down the phone. He had no idea who she was talking too but it wasn't pleasant. "Just fucking deal with it. I don't have to do anything just to make you feel better." She hung up.

"You okay?"

"Yes. Mae's just being a bitch." She snapped at him. "She needs to fucking chill."

"About what?"

"Doesn't matter. Are you ready? Let's go." They were going away for a weekend and for once it wasn't on the boat. Lola had picked the place and assured Riley he would love it. She gave him some basic directions and told him she would give him something more specific on the way. He was looking forward to it, until right now. Something had upset Lola and he had no idea what Mae was on about but it had soured the mood somewhat.

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, yes. Just forget it." Easier said than done when you had to get in the car with someone who was pissed off and upset and you had no idea how long you were going to be trapped for.

Eventually she started to relax and talk more but he didn't mention the phone call with Mae. He wasn't that stupid. He wasn't poking that bear.

Suddenly the further they got away from Chicago the quieter Lola became and he noticed at one point she closed her eyes. She rested her hand on this thigh and dug her fingers in a little. He ran his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. He was starting to dread what was ahead, he was starting to realise this was not going to be the fun weekend he expected. There was a minefield ahead, he just had no idea what it was.

She didn't speak again until she started directing him and they pulled up outside a sweet little beach house. "This is our family beach house." Lola told him.

"It's nice."

"I don't come here much anymore."

"But you used too?"

"Yes. Mae never comes here. She never wanted to come back here ever since…."

"Since?"

"Since the day of the accident. This is where my parents were for that weekend, they were driving home from here."

"And that place back there where you closed your eyes, that was it?"

"Yes."

"Lola, god sweetheart why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't." he held out his arms and Lola fell into them. "I can't. I just close my eyes; I can't see that place."

"I wish I had known." He held her head against his chest. "I love you so much."

"Let's go inside." Lola lead him inside. It had been renovated a few years ago but retained all the charm and memories of the past. "It's been in the Hollister family for three generations. My grandparents bought as a holiday home when they first got married. We came up here a lot when we were little, my parents came up here a bit when they first started dating."

"It's a sweet place."

"Alfie loves it, he always comes up here for a couple of days when he comes back. He brings Iris up sometimes and they chill out and catch up. Those two are thick as thieves." Lola showed Riley where to put their bags. "Iris didn't spend much time here because we were overseas for most of her life. She wanted to come that weekend, we all begged to come."

"How do you feel about that?" It had to be a confronting thing to realise if they were all in the car they might all have been killed. He wanted to say that he was grateful that she wasn't but that was selfish and cruel. He couldn't imagine how all those what ifs would have played out.

"Now, grateful back then…" She shrugged. "…bitter, angry, abandoned."

"Is that why Mae doesn't come and didn't want you to come."

"Yes. She hates this place, she wants to sell it, she never comes here. She blames this place, if they weren't here they wouldn't have been on that road. Heidi and Hudson bought us here one weekend a year or so after the accident and she didn't want to come and hated them for it. She was so angry and it took her a long time to get over it. They thought they were doing the right thing, bringing us to the place that meant so much to them, that we spent so much time enjoying. I mean she goes to the zoo, all the time but this place. She never let it go."

"Is she okay with you bringing me here?" It was a dumb question and he apologised.

"Not really, she just doesn't really understand why I would want too."

"Why did you want too?"

"I like it here; I've always liked it here. It's part of me."

Riley felt uncomfortable. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do here. The place felt heavy with ghosts and memories. Perhaps Alfie had the right idea, come up here with family, your sister or uncle and then you didn't have to worry about all that angst.

"It means a lot to me that you are here. That you have always let me be me. You said you loved all my broken bits; this is a broken bit."

"What do you want to do here? I'm confused." Riley just had to get it out there. "I am not sure why I am here?"

"You don't want to be here do you?"

"It's not that Lola, it's just sometimes I worry that I am going to say the wrong thing."

"You haven't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"It's never enough for you, you always want more from me."

He ran his hands roughly through his hair. "God Lola it is enough, I just want to make you happy. I love you and I am trying to make this work but sometimes you need to help me understand what you want me to do."

The anguish on her face was painful to see. "I thought you loved me, I thought you'd like it here. I wanted to share this place with you. I don't get to share it with anyone. It's always Alfie and Iris, Mae won't come. I am always here alone and I don't want to be here alone anymore."

He stepped towards her quickly and while she tried to push him away Riley held onto her. "Lola Bear" he whispered in her ear. "I love you; I am so in love with you. This place is filled with memories for you, I just want to help you make some new memories for you. Okay?"

"Yes." She gratefully accepted his sweet kiss and then pulled away. "Do you want to go for a swim?"

"Yes. Will you be naked?"

"No, maybe later."

They walked along the beach and swam and talked. "Are you worried we won't work?" Lola asked him as they sat on the beach watching the birds dip in and out of the ripples trying to catch dinner.

"Sometimes."

"Because of me?"

"No, because sometimes things don't work no matter how hard we try. We've got a year of Med School left, Internships, Residencies. Look at your parents, they didn't work the first time either." He was trying to be honest with her.

"They did work, he just had to leave."

"What if we don't match close by?"

"I don't know." He knew he was upsetting her but they had to face reality, there was so much that they didn't know. Her Dad had to leave because of his study, what if they had to leave because of their careers? "I feel like you don't want to try."

"Oh God Lola, I want this more than anything. You make me so happy, I love spending time with you, learning about you, showing you my world and living in your world. I can't believe that you are in my life. I hoped for one date, I got the world." He wanted everything with her, he knew that already but felt it was too soon to tell her that. He didn't want to scare her and he still had this fear that one wrong move would bring her walls back up. They crumbled quickly but he was sure they could be rebuilt in an instant.

"I've loved every minute I've spent with you, even today. I felt battered but you are here."

"I am here." He kissed her behind the ear. "What I'd really like is to go back to that beautiful house and show you how much I love you. You and I need to make some memories here."


	6. Family Discount

He checked his watch for what felt like the hundredth time. Time was going so slow and it was driving him nuts. He had been in this lecture for almost two hours, and it was now question time and he was hoping to sneak out without being noticed. Lola messaged him to say that she was finished and waiting for him so he quietly packed up his things and slipped out.

A rare weekend away with Lola was much more important than listening to a drug presentation, particularly a drug that they weren't likely to use. Not in the near future anyway. She was waiting in the parking lot and she was chatting away and by the look on her face he was guessing it was either one of her sisters or her grandparents. "Yes we will be back by Sunday night. I'll see you at dinner. Love you Bug."

"How's Iris?" he leant in and gave her a kiss.

"Desperately trying to convince me that she deserves a weekend on the yacht and that she can be ready in an hour."

"My first weekend off with you in two months, sorry Iris, not happening."

"That's what I told her."

He loved how much Lola had embraced life on the water, they had gone away quite a few times now and, the longest being for a week. That was about Lola's limit. They had a good grove going on.

"Champagne?" Lola unpacked the groceries. "Nice."

"Yep, like I said, two months is worth celebrating." It was a beautiful sail up to one of their favourite spots and dropped anchor. Lola pulled together some dinner and they sat on the forward deck and enjoyed the view.

"You know…" Riley popped a grape into his mouth. "…I'll never get sick of this."

"Me either."

"I always think about the first time I bought you out, I was a little shocked, I didn't expect to end up where we did. I mean I hoped that eventually something might come of it, but that day I didn't expect all that."

"I think I shocked myself that day, I was running on my gut and I am glad I listened to my gut, not my head."

"For a minute, can you listen to your heart?"

Lola cocked her head to the side and looked at him strangely.

"I think your heart will tell me what I want to hear?"

"And what do you want to hear?"

"I want to hear you say that you will marry me?"

That was not what she expected but it only took her a second. "Yes."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. A thousand times yes." She crawled across the deck and kissed him. "Yes."

"You've already said that."

"I want to make sure you heard it."

Riley ran his thumb over her cheek as he held her face. "I love you, so much. I can't imagine not being with you." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. "I bought you this." It was a beautiful square cut white gold diamond ring and slipped it on her left ring finger.

"It's beautiful, I love it." She smothered him with kisses. "Riley, this is amazing. I love you. I can't wait to be your wife." Pushing him back until he was lying on the deck Lola climbed on top of him. "I'm so excited."

"I can tell."

She folded her arms across his chest and rested her chin on her hands. "I feel different."

"Well you are a fiancé now." Tucking some hair behind her ear. "I'm a bit stunned to be honest."

"Why?"

"You are a dream come true for me." He lifted his head and kissed her quickly. "I've been thinking about it for a while and I know we never really talked about it in any great details but that was mainly because I was worried that this would be something you'd never want to do."

"Why would you think that?"

"You know, not having your Mom and Dad here."

"Oh."

"Tell me about your dream wedding?"

"Well you are there, nothing else matters." Lola wasn't quite ready for that question. Over the years she had thought about what she thought her wedding might look like and as she got older she had lost some of the teenage romantic version and it had been a long time since she had seriously put much thought into it. Once she started seriously studying, dreaming of your wedding seemed like a youthful fantasy.

"Sweet."

"Riley, they aren't here, they never can be, I can wish and hope and I have; so many times I've wished and hoped and begged and pleaded for them to come back. I 've tried making deals with whoever will listen but nothing changed. They aren't here, but they are always here…" she tapped her chest. "…in my heart. I have so many people around me and I get to share this with them. That had to be enough, because that's all I've got."

"You amaze me, you know that. I've never met anyone with such incredible strength."

"I had to be strong because that's who they raised me to be. I got the most of them, and some days I feel a little guilty that I got 13 years and Bug only got three, so it's up to me to show them who they wanted us to be." Lola chewed her bottom lip for a moment. "I do want one thing, I want to have some part of our wedding at the Zoo."

"You can have your whole wedding there if you want."

Everything felt different now. Every touch felt different, every kiss meant more. How one little thing could change everything so quickly astounded them and they were grateful that they had a bit of time to themselves before they headed back. Lola was happy but that didn't mean she didn't still feel the little bit of emptiness in her heart.

Riley found Pops outside, he still insisted on cooking dinner outside but someone always helped him now. To say he accepted it with good grace would be a lie, but he did enjoy the company. "Hey Pops." He patted him on the shoulder. Adam had told him a long time ago that he expected to be called Pops. "Can I ask you something?" Her was nervous and he had no idea what he'd do if Pops said no.

"Sure."

"Do I need to ask you, or Hudson or Alfie or Gus if I want to marry Lola?"

"Me."

"Great, Pops, I want to marry Lola because he is the love of my life, I feel privileged to share her life, and I promise to take care of her."

Adam scoffed and held out his hand, he grabbed hold of it and pulled him in for a hug. "About bloody time."

"Thanks Pops."

"You know I think her parents would like you." He got a twinkle in his eye. "She already said yes didn't she?"

"She did."

"Charlotte Abigail Ruzek Hollister, I need your skinny ass out here." He went to the back door and roared. Both Lola and Kim came out to see what the commotion was.

"Are you knocked up?"

"What, no." Lola spluttered.

"Good then he actually wants to marry you because he loves you not because he has too?"

Well this was awkward, Riley felt a little superfluous right now. "Married?" Kim shrieked and she grabbed Lola's arm. "You are getting married?"

"We are."

"Oh this is beautiful news, wonderful." She clapped. "Show me." Lola was happy to show off her engagement ring. "Oh it's beautiful, like you." And then she cried.

"Riley did a good job hey?"

"He did." Kim blubbered. "Oh it's beautiful. I can't wait, you'll be such a beautiful bride, just like your mother." That set Lola off. Adam and Riley just looked at each other and shrugged. Like it was going to get any better when the rest of them showed their faces.

When Mae and Iris arrived Lola slipped her hand into her pocket. "About time you got here."

"Jeez sorry." Mae wasn't in the best of moods, she'd had a big function last night and while it went well they were long days for her and then Rick, her boyfriend had decided that he wasn't coming tonight because he just couldn't deal with her foul mood anymore today.

Kim was literally hopping from foot to foot waiting for Lola to tell them, she wanted to crack open a bottle of champagne. This was an exciting day for her. "Hey Mae, do you have a discount rate for families?"

"What for?"

"Weddings."

"Sure." She shrugged not really catching on but Iris's screech shocked them.

Iris was beside herself. Over excitement could have been her middle name. "Oh my god, oh my god. He proposed didn't he?"

"He did."

"Show me." She threw herself at Lola and Mae was suddenly jumping up and down beside her and Lola pulled her hand out of her pocket and showed them her stunning engagement ring. "Did he pick it himself?"

"Yes Riley did, and he's right here." She pointed at him. They didn't care, they were too busy hugging their sister and they eventually got around to congratulating Riley too.

"Tell me everything." Iris was such the romantic. "Wait this is why I couldn't come on the boat with you wasn't it?"

"Well yes, I didn't know but Riley had plans." It suddenly felt much more real and overwhelming. "We were just having dinner on the boat, up on deck, drinking champagne and enjoying the sunset and he asked if I could listen to my heart and that my heart would tell him what he wanted to hear, he wanted to hear me say yes. And I said yes. It was perfect."

"That's so romantic." Iris gushed. Kim bought out the bottle of champagne and Riley popped it for her and they let Iris have a glass too. Technically she was too young to drink but they knew this wouldn't be her first glass of alcohol and it was a celebration.

"Mae, are you already running a list in your head?" Riley teased her.

"Yes I am, and don't you worry your pretty little head about it. I will tell you want you need to do and where you need to be."


	7. A Ring & A Letter

Charlotte Ruzek Hollister sat on her bed, her phone in her hand. She scrolled through the messages. They had been saved elsewhere but that didn't matter, it would always be on her phone.

_'See you soon Chicken Little.'_

Fifteen years, more than half her life and she still missed them like everyone had promised her she would. It didn't ache like it used to but it was always there and always part of her. It was different but it wasn't easier, she would always wish that things were different and today of all days it had threatened to overwhelm her. The burden of her grief was her constant companion and it's what made her who she was.

She finally found someone who understood that and loved her for it. He understood a lot and what he didn't understand he didn't judge or complain, he learnt about how to handle it and supported her and for that Lola was grateful, because it wasn't easy being in love with her. Those demons had a tight grip on her. It was a moment in time that defined all her futures, all their futures. Falling in love was hard for her because she lived with the fear that one day they would leave without a reason or a chance to say goodbye but he had made it easy to fall in love with him. For two years she had rejected every attempt to get to know him but once she gave in it had been such a quick thing, it left her a little breathless but it felt right.

Lola stood up and smoothed over dress. For so many years it had been in a box and she remembered the first time her grandmother got it out and showed her. It was beautiful. Long and lacy and it took a little bit of adjusting, a few alterations to suit her style a little better but it fitted her perfectly. After all she was her mother's daughter.

She touched the ring hanging around her neck, it was on a long silver chain. Gus had given it to her last night. Lola had never heard the story of the ring but when Gus told her about it she had been more than happy to wear it, she thought the story behind it was beautiful and made her feel closer to her mother.

"This is your something borrowed." He held it in his hand. "It belonged to my Pops, your great grandfather. It was given to me when he died and I lent it to your Mom the day of Abbey's funeral. I wanted her to know that no matter what I would always be there for her."

Lola reached out and touched it lightly as Gus took a breath to steady himself. This was harder than he thought it would be. "She wore it on her wedding day, and I want you to wear it. I want you to know how much you mean to me, how much I've always adored you and your Mom and that I will always be here for you, always. I know this isn't easy for you, it's not been easy for any of us but tomorrow Lola Bear you are marrying a man who adores you, he's a good man and I know your Mom and Dad would approve. Will you wear it?"

"It's beautiful Gus, I'd love to wear it." She hugged her uncle. "Thank you for everything, for the past fifteen years especially but for the thirteen happy ones before that too. I love you so much."

"Oh Lola Bear, you've got no idea." It had felt heavy around her neck when she put it on, but that was okay. Her past was heavy.

"Hey Lola Bear." MiMi knocked on her door lightly. "Can I come in?"

"Sure. Everything okay?"

"Yep." Lola noticed the tears in her grandmother's eyes. She was older now and moved slower and she worried about them constantly. "You look beautiful."

"It's the dress." MiMi adjusted the chain around Lola's neck and smiled sadly. She thought it was beautiful that Gus asked her to wear it and she cried when he told her he was going offer it to Lola and that he was also going to tell her the story behind it. It was something that Gus had always kept to himself.

"It's more than the dress sweetheart. I have something for you." MiMi handed Lola the box. They had never talked about them but lying in the small red box was a pair of diamond earrings. "Your Mom gave them to me the night before my wedding. Pops had bought them for her to give to me as a thank you for marrying her Dad. I gave them to your mother the day of her wedding to your Dad and we promised that we would give them to you for your wedding. I know she would want you to have them."

"They are beautiful."

Kim stood behind her granddaughter as she took off her earrings and slipped these ones on. "I know she would be in tears right now looking at you and how beautiful you are. She would be so happy today. The day she married your Dad I was so happy for her. She loved your Dad so much and they adored you."

"I really miss them." Lola smiled sadly. "Today, I really miss them."

"Me too." Kim held out her hand and Lola slipped her hand into hers. She would be forever grateful to her MiMi for being her everything when things got hard. "Are you ready? There are people waiting downstairs to see you."

"Pops is gonna cry isn't he?"

"He already is and Iris is trying to get him to stop taking photos of every single little thing and Mae is in a flap. Things aren't going to plan; she's been trying to call Alfie for the past half hour but he's out of range and her messages have been entertaining to say the least." MiMi laughed. "Your brother is low on her list of people she likes right now."

"I wish he could have made it." Alfie had always declared he was going back to Australia to live and work at his Dad's zoo and that's exactly what he was doing. He was working and studying Zoology at the same time and was determined to carry on his father's legacy. They didn't see him as much as they wanted and they all missed him but he was making them proud. He had always felt closer to his parents back there.

"We just weren't expecting it so soon."

"Riley's Mom is sick, we had no choice." Lola took one last look in the mirror. "He wanted his Mom at his wedding.." Lola sucked in a deep breath as she felt the tears welling up inside her. "..can't blame him for that." Evelyn had been battling this cancer beast for years but it was getting harder to fight, she had been amazing and Lola was glad she got to know her. Unfortunately after having been in remission for nearly six years it had come back with a vengeance a year ago, a simple pain in her back had turned out to be much more sinister than a strained muscle and her spine was riddled with spots. She was getting weaker by the day and had stopped treatment recently and she desperately wanted to see Riley get married, she wanted to be at one of her children's weddings and Riley was the only option. They were already engaged and planning to marry but they bought it forward by six months and it had been a challenge to organise a wedding in four weeks but they had the party planner of the century on their team and Mae worked like a demon and pulled it all together.

If Lola couldn't have her mother at her wedding she wanted Riley to have his.

"I think it's a lovely thing to do." MiMi held her hand.

Her scream was deafening as she hit the bottom step and her brother stepped into the room. "Hey Lola Bear, I hear you are planning some kind of shindig?"

"Oh my god." She flew off the bottom stair and into the arms of her little brother, who wasn't so little anymore. "How? I can't believe you are here, did you all know?" He looked at her sisters and her grandparents. Iris insisted that she didn't know anything.

"You really didn't think I'd let you get married without me. What sort of brother would I be if I wasn't here?"

"I am so happy you are here." Lola didn't really care that she was ruining her make-up. "Thank you Alfie."

Mae was proud of herself. She had pulled it off, with help from Alfie of course. As soon as Lola told him the wedding had been bought forward he told her he'd see what he could do, but no promises and then rang Mae immediately afterwards to start planning their surprise. Maintaining the charade while he was in the air had been a struggle. Lola had insisted that she talk to him via Skype before she left the house for her wedding and they had to work around it. They didn't tell Iris until this morning because she couldn't keep a secret to save herself.

"I can't believe this." Lola was ecstatic but she was worried about one thing. Her Pops, he was going to give her away. When Alfie said he couldn't make it she didn't want anyone else but her Pops to do it.

Adam knew exactly what she was thinking. "It's okay Lola Bear."

"No, I want both of you to do it. It's my wedding and I want the two men who mean the most to me to stand beside me."

Adam wanted one more photo, of his four grandchildren. Lola in her wedding dress, Mae and Iris were dressed in blue beside her and her brother Alfie, all together. They were beautiful children who had grown into amazing adults.

Alfie and Adam stood either side of Lola, just in front of them were Mae and Iris. Gus had helped his Mom take her seat at the front of the small church. Riley had no idea that Alfie was coming either and he was stunned to see him with Lola but he was so happy for her, he knew how much that meant to her. Her family often amazed him, he had talked to her brother a few weeks ago trying to get him to come but he had told her that he just couldn't do it, Riley even offered to pay but it wasn't the money that was an issue, it was his job and study. Australia to Chicago was a big trip and not something he couldn't do in a couple of days.

When Lola got to the front of the church he took her hand and whispered. "You look beautiful, so incredibly beautiful"

"I'm happy that you are here."

"Where else would I be? Only place I want to be right now." He squeezed her hand. "I am so happy for you."

"Me too."

It was a sweet short service, Riley didn't want to waste time with a lot of words and waffling, once he got her in this church he wanted to get to the part where they were declared husband and wife. This was the best moment of his life and he was more than delighted to see how happy Lola looked, he was worried this would all be too much for her.

They got a quiet moment alone when they were travelling from the church to the zoo where their receptions was being held. Lola had asked on the day he proposed that part of their wedding be at the zoo, he would have had the ceremony there too but his mother wanted him to get married in the church she married his father in and Lola of all people knew how much memories meant to people and convinced Riley that she didn't mind and it was a sweet thing to do. Evelyn was so happy and even seeing her today, in her frail state she just shone with memories.

Riley stood next to his wife as she bent down and spoke to Evelyn before they left the church. She tried to stand up but couldn't manage it so Lola went to her and told her to stay sitting and that she was so happy to be part of her family. "I'll take care of him." She whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek. "You've given me a beautiful man to love and build a life with. Thank you Evelyn."

"I know you will. You are lucky to be loved by my son."

Riley had bent and kissed his Mom's cheek before they continued on down the aisle.

"So, how are you doing?" He ran his hand over hers as it rested on his thigh, she was staring out the window.

"I'm good Riley, I really am." She turned to look and he noticed the faintest glimmer of tears in her eyes. "I am so happy."

"Me too." Lifting her hand up he kissed her palm. "It's okay to have a moment though. It's a big day for you and I don't understand how you feel but I want too."

"I miss them, I wish they were here but I am beyond happy to be your wife. That's all that matters right now."

"Being your husband is a dream come true." Riley kissed her softly. "If it gets too much for you just let me know."

"What being married? You looking for an out already."

"Okay, wifey. You are stuck with me. Stuck like glue baby."

They didn't want a lot of speeches and for things to drag on. It was a celebration but Riley did want to make one speech. He had also been told that Alfie had something to say. "Charlotte Abigail Ruzek Hollister, I've never met anyone like you. Your strength, your unbelievably generous heart, your vulnerability, your passion, and your courage amazes me every day. It's a privilege to share your life, your pain, your heartache and your love. Being with you makes me a better man, makes me want to be a better man.

Now I am going to do my best here….My beautiful wife, I know there are two people missing that you want to be here more than anything. I wish they were here too, I wish I could have met them to thank them for raising such a beautiful girl, one who became the beautiful woman who I know get to call my wife. I wish they could be here to listen to me promise that I will take care of you, I will love you, I will share your pain, your heartache as well as your joys and successes. I will always carry your heart here…" he held his hand over his heart. '..here next to mine. I love you.'

I also want to thank Kim and Adam, you are two of the most impressive, kind hearted people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, along with Gus and Rhiannon, Heidi and Hudson and Andrew and Dylan. The role you stepped into was a role I know you never wanted but when I look at Lola I am just blown away. I know you will always worry about her; I promise I won't let you down.

To Mabel, Alfred and Iris, thank you for letting me love your sister. She adores you and our house will always be open for you. I've been blessed to have a brother and sister who are my best friends and I know Lola is blessed to have you in her life, you have an unshakeable, unbreakable bond. Alfie, buddy you being here today means the world to us. It means the world to Lola and if it makes her happy then that makes me happy.'

There was not a dry eye in the house and shortly after he sat back down Lola leant over and told him that she needed a moment. "Will you come with me?"

She told Mae she'd be back in a few minutes and Riley led her outside. "You okay?"

"Yes, I just need a moment and I know you'd freak out if I didn't bring you with me."

"Well just a little bit."

"Can we not talk though; can we just stand here?" He stood behind her, held her hand and let her lean against his body. He had become her tower of strength.

It was only a couple of minutes but it was all Lola needed.

"Just before we head back do you mind if Mae, Bug, Alfie and I go spend a bit of time at the tree? Just us?"

"Not at all, I thought you would."

Adam and Kim watched them go, Riley assured them that they were fine and were just going to have a few quiet moments alone. "Don't worry Kim, they be back in a minute."

Nobody knew what to say, they just stood and held each other's hands. Eventually Alfie spoke. "I know you are watching over us, we love you, we've never stopped missing you, we hope you are proud of us. I know you are proud of Lola; she looks so beautiful and she's so happy and Riley is so good for her, we love him and how happy he's made our Lola Bear. Monkey Mae and Bug look so beautiful today, you'd be blown away. They make me look good. I so proud to tell people that they are my sisters, my heart, my soul." He knew he was making his sister's cry and he pulled them all in.

Riley saw them the moment they came back, Lola smiled and waved at him as she headed to the bathroom, they all needed a bit of a touch up. "You good?"

"We are. Thank you." She patted his face. "It was nice, hard but nice."

Alfie pulled a letter from his pocket. Adam had given it to him just before they left the house. "Your Dad wrote this, there is one for all of you for your wedding day. This is Lola's letter; I don't know what it says but the instructions are that it has to be read at the wedding. It's his speech."

_'Chicken Little.'_

He paused after those two words and took a sip of water. He couldn't look at Lola because he knew she'd be in tears. Nobody had called her Chicken Little, not since the day their parents died. Alfie had simply announced. "I have a letter I need to read…" and she knew it was from her past. Sam had written each of his children a letter after Iris was born, to be read at their wedding if he happened not to be here. He didn't know why he did it, something he heard on a radio program one day and hoped like hell they'd never hear it. He never told Polly about them but it would upset her but he wanted to do it and wrote four letters and put them with their will. Adam had hung onto them.

_It's a big day for you, your wedding day. I remember the first wedding you went to. It was ours and we loved having you with us. Your Mom was so beautiful that day and I imagine that you look just as beautiful today._

_I hope that this day is everything you want it to be, I know you will have chosen wisely, that's the girl you are. I hope I taught you well. You've seen what loving someone beyond all reason looks like, you know what a good man looks like and I know that's what you have now. _

_You know that I would have given this joker a hard time? Like your Pops gave me grief; because that's what Dad's do. If you've made it this far then obviously he passed our tests because you deserve the best and I know you wouldn't settle for less._

_Be brave, love with your whole heart, embrace the highs, the lows, the days were you feel like you are drowning, the days when you are flying. You can do it all when you have the love of a good man beside you. It's tough but when it's right those tough days don't matter because they just make you stronger._

_One thing you need to remember, no-one and I do mean no-one will ever love you as much as a father loves his daughter. Every breath you took was better than the last, every day with you was a blessing, every day with you made me happier than the one before. You were our everything, you made us unbreakable._

_The day your Mom came home and told me we'd fucked up was the day I knew. This was our forever. We had our future in front of us and it was perfect. I am proud to be your Dad, I was always proud to tell people that you were mine, were ours. _

_I love you so much Chicken Little._

_Be happy, be loved and don't forget our grandchildren. We want lots._

_Love you forever_

_Dad._

Everyone just watched Lola and Riley sheltered her as best he could, his hand cradling her face to his shoulder. Once Alfie was done he came and crouched down next to his sister and handed her the letter. "I'm sorry Lola Bear, it's what Dad wanted."

"It's okay." She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Thank you. It was beautiful." Alfie kissed her cheek and they just stayed in the moment, her hand resting on his cheek. "I'm glad it was you."

"I love you Chicken Little."

Despite the heaviness, they had fun. It was a beautiful night and Mae had done so well and it was a night to remember.

"So?" Lola rested her head on his shoulder as they were driven to their hotel. Mae, Iris and Alfie had organised and paid for them to have a couple of days at a Spa resort to relax and recover. Lola was worried that Alfie would be gone before they got back but he promised her that he was staying for the rest of the week and he would see her when she got back. He wanted her to enjoy some time with Riley, they were both going straight back to work and had postponed their honeymoon because of Riley's mom. "Good day?"

"Best day of my life."

"Even though I spent most of it crying? Anyone seeing that must think I'm being shoved into an arranged marriage and I am lamenting my loss of freedom."

"Did you cry today? Never noticed?"

"Yeah right."

"You look beautiful when you cry. Makes me love you even more."

"Good answer."

Lola snuggled in close. "So it begins."


	8. We Made That

They had known for a few weeks now and let it sink in but Lola had paged Riley to come down to obstetrics when it was quiet. She was doing her Paediatric rotation and had a spare few minutes and access to the required machines. "Do you want to have a look at our little surprise?"

"I'm on my way."

Locking themselves in a quiet room Lola hopped up on the bed and pulled up her scrubs, squeezing the cold gel onto her stomach she gasped a little. All those poor Moms she'd just plonked the gel onto, muttering something about it being cold but not really thinking about it. It was really cold.

It seemed a little surreal when they heard the tiny steady heartbeat of their baby. "It's perfect, it's beautiful." Lola gushed. "I can't believe it."

"Seems real now hey?" Knowing you were pregnant and seeing your baby were two completely different feelings. They had been nervous and terrified and unsure what they felt. It wasn't though they weren't trying but everyone told them it would take a while and not to get their hopes up. They didn't have time to get their hopes up, they just got pregnant. They should have known, perhaps she was just like her mother in that regard.

Lola had surprised him, which was hard to do because they had been trying for a few months, she had stopped drinking and started taking pre-natal vitamins and he asked her every few weeks if she had had her period yet. Despite that she managed to sneak it past him. She had gone to bed because she was on an early shift and he had been on a later shift.

On the bench, where she knew he always left his wallet and keys she left a little pair of booties and her positive pregnancy test, well tests anyway because she had taken four of them just to be sure. "Charlotte Ruzek Hollister, what the actual fuck? Are you fucking kidding me?" He burst through the bedroom door, flicking the light on and clutching the pregnancy tests in his hand. "Are you serious?"

Crawling onto the bed Lola rolled over and loved the look on his face. "Yes, as sure as those four pregnancy tests are, we are booked for a blood test in the morning. Do you want to come?"

"Yes." He kissed her hard. "Well done us, I so happy for us, so friggin' happy. How do you feel?"

"I know it's weird, but you are used to my weird but I feel pregnant."

"You don't look pregnant, just beautifully happy."

"This is good right? This is what we want?"

It was what they wanted and they were excited. It was hard to sleep, Riley was surprised at how much those two little lines had already invaded his thoughts and how much more he loved his wife. They nervously held hands as Lola had a blood draw and awaited the results, they put a rush on it and by the end of the day they celebrated over a glass of sparkling water the news that there was going to be a new little human in the world.

Riley was staring at the screen. "That's part of us?"

"We made that."

"Fuck." He smiled and the tears in his eyes made Lola cry. "I love you Lola. You make my dreams come true."

Both of them were in the second year of their residencies. Riley was doing Oncology and Lola had decided to go into Paediatrics like her Uncle. Eventually she could see herself going into neonatal medicine but that was a little way down the track. She had found Emergency Medicine too traumatic and Riley had eventually convinced her that it was okay to admit it wasn't for her. Her parents would be happy with whatever she chose to do, she wasn't letting them down by not choosing Emergency Medicine even though she wanted to do it so she could prevent people suffering like she did. It was a fallacy, she couldn't stop the suffering and after a week of one road trauma death after another Lola couldn't do it anymore.

It had been a big decision to decide to have a baby, but her grandparents were getting old now and more than anything she wanted to give them a great grandchild. There would always be something else to get in the way, study for them was never going to end, not any time soon anyway and they didn't want to be older parents. Lola had fears, that like Iris her children would be too young to remember them if they died and wanted as much time with them as possible. She didn't want to wait. Riley understood her need to have a baby sooner rather than later and he wasn't about to try and talk her out of it.

At this stage it was likely that Lola would have three months at home with the baby and then Riley would take three months sabbatical. It might not work but they were determined to try. If her Mom could make it work with four children in a foreign country with no family, she could do it. Letting her Mom down wasn't an option.

Waiting another two weeks was tough. They wanted people to know, to be happy for them and they knew that this baby would be bittersweet. Lola was feeling that and Riley had been surprised by her wildly erratic emotions already. Her complete devastation one day was out of the blue though.

He came home to find her in tears. As soon as he asked her if she was okay she fled the room. "Leave me alone." She sobbed when he came and sat on the edge of the bed. "Don't touch me." Lola pushed his hand away.

"Sweetheart you are scaring me a little."

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine and I am freaking out." It had been a while since she had had a full-on meltdown.

"You are just worried about the baby, the baby is fine."

While he was worried about the baby, that was not his only concern. Right now the baby was irrelevant. "It's more than that."

"I wish I could tell Mom."

"Oh, my precious girl. You break my heart." He pulled her up off the bed and into his arms and rocked her as she sobbed her heart out. He never really thought how tough it was going to be for her to do this without her Mom. Even though Lola only had her Mom for such a short time it still had such a huge impact on her. Lola was happy about the baby and stupidly he just didn't think about the other side. That heartbroken side of her that was missing her Mom. "I wish she was here to help you too Lola Bear. Everyday."

"She'd be so excited. I can just imagine her carry on." She just cried harder. "Dad would be like Pops was with us. He'd pretend he wasn't old enough but he'd be so happy. I miss them. Right now I miss them so much."

"I know you do. How about we go visit them on the weekend. Take a picnic, sit and chat to them, tell them about their grandchild and how beautiful our little alien is?"

"Can we?"

"They should be the first to know."

"You think I am mad?"

"No I think you are pregnant with your first child; you are scared and feel alone and are missing your Mom and Dad. I also think you are my wife and I love you and I will do whatever I have to do to make you happy and feel loved and safe and adored."

"I can't do this."

"Lola, just look at me." Riley begged her. He waited until she looked at him. "I understand how overwhelming this is for you, but you aren't alone. You have MiMi and Pops, you have Mae and Iris, Rhiannon, and Heidi. As soon as they know they will be here for you. And more importantly, you have me, every single minute of this amazing thing we've got going on."

"I feel stupid."

"Why?"

"I should be happy, it's not fair to you. You are so excited and I just have this feeling of…." Lola took a deep breath. "..it's all out of control."

"Thing is, Lola Bear, I know you are happy too. I saw the look on your face yesterday when we saw our little baby, all snug and tight inside this incredible body." He lay her hand on her stomach. It had been comforting last night when Riley slept with his hand on her still pancake flat stomach. He hadn't done it much but now that he had seen his baby he suddenly felt more protective and connected to it. It was hard for fathers, they don't get to have this feeling of your body changing and adapting to the pregnancy so until he saw it, it didn't feel real. "It's amazing what you are doing."

"Can we go Sunday? Riley promised to organise it when he got a chance at work the next day. They always went early when Lola wanted to talk to her parents. The zoo would often allow them to come in just before opening so they could have it all to themselves. She was adamant that her parents had to 'know' first and was a little fixated on it.

Riley called the zoo and organised the early visit. Lola focussed on getting their picnic breakfast ready to take her mind off everything else. She didn't want to see her family and Mae called and asked her if she had time for a coffee at least and Lola blew her off. It was easy enough to do because she could just pull the work card.

When they woke up on Sunday morning Lola was happy, she was looking forward to it but the closer it became the more the nerves kicked in. Riley had become accustomed to these visits. Lola had bought him here on one of their very early dates. He had to know from the start what he was letting herself in for and he never flinched or said no or told her that it was time to let go. She hadn't let go in more than fifteen years, it wasn't happening and it was just one part of Lola that he loved. It showed him that she loved with her whole heart and that was a good thing.

They had also visited the tree planted in Australia. After they both graduated from Medical School they had a few months to travel before their internships started. Lola wanted to take Riley to Australia and show them where they had spent part of their childhood and he also got to meet Alfie for the first time. They 'met' on Skype but it wasn't the same. Alfie thought he was great, and perfect for his sister and he loved seeing her Dad's zoo and where they lived. He could see why they loved it and why Alfie went back. Lola wanted him to come home but she knew it was the best thing for Alfie right now. He was living his dream.

Riley laid out the rug and helped her sit with her back leaning on the rapidly growing trunk. He offered to leave Lola alone but she tugged on his hand and made him sit with her. "Mom and Dad." She started. "I miss you so much, I wish you were here every day. I wish you had met Riley."

He rubbed her arm lightly. It was the same thing she always started with. "Anyway, I wish more than anything you'd be here right now because I know how happy you'd be knowing that we are having a baby. Yep, you get to be grandparents and I wanted to see that more than anything. Don't worry Dad, Riley is taking care of me. He's a little like you were with Mom and Bug. A bit of a nutter."

Tears streamed down her face. "We haven't told anyone yet, I wanted you to be the first to know, but I think you already did. I hope you did. I can't wait to tell MiMi and Pops. We are really happy, scared a little, overwhelmed but excited. I just wish I had you here to tell me that it's going to be okay. It will be, right? I promise I will tell them all about you, I will make sure you are part of our baby's life."

Riley wrapped her arms around her as she buried her head in his lap. He bent down and whispered in her ear. "You did good Sweetheart. You own my heart girl, you own it."

Now that they had that out of the way they told MiMi and Pops next. Sunday night dinner, when they both had the day off came at the perfect time.

"Lola Bear." Adam held out his arms wide and welcomed his granddaughter. He hadn't seen her for about a month on a Sunday night. They had caught up, she couldn't go that long without seeing her grandparents but Sunday nights had a special place. "How are you Darlin'?"

"I'm good Pops. Working hard, way too hard." She enjoyed the hug. "Where's MiMi?"

"Having a shower. I offered to join her but she might get too excited and break a hip."

"Ewwww."

They waited until both MiMi and Pops were together before they told them and they both cried a little, actually more than a little. "We went to the zoo this morning." Lola started. "To talk to Mom and Dad."

"How are they?" Adam always teased them all about the conversations they all had with their parents.

"They are good Pops, very chilled and relaxed. Barely a ruffle of the leaves which I wasn't expecting, I thought we'd get a bit more action when we told them that they are going to be grandparents."

"You're pregnant." Kim gasped.

"I am, I am 12 weeks pregnant." And then the tears started, from MiMi, from Pops and from Lola.

When Iris walked in she rolled her eyes. "Oh it's a crying dinner? Good to know. Why are they crying?" She asked Riley.

"Oh, something about being excited about becoming great grandparents."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"As a heart attack. That…." He waved his hand in their direction "…is your pregnant sister and your two unbelievably happy grandparents."

"Oh My God." She hugged Riley quickly and then joined the festival of tears. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, everyone was crying. Including Mae when Iris barely let her get through the door before she was yelling at her that Lola was having a baby.

"Really? Like you are really pregnant?"

"Yes I am really pregnant, I let one of his little fuckers through? He put his penis in my 'bagina."

"What?" Riley gasped. "What?"

"Oh that part wasn't in the blog was it?" Lola chuckled at Riley's slightly bemused expression, you think he'd to be used to this by now. "You know when Mae told her school about Dad's little fuckers? Well Mom and Dad told her about how babies are made and she declared at the dinner table that she knew all about sex and that's how she explained it. She was a little bitch."

Mae laughed. "You were such a prude."

"I wasn't a prude, it sounded disgusting."

"Lucky you changed your tune. I mean that Lola never would have did the nasty with Riley on the first date."

"Oh, please stop talking Mabel. I don't need to hear this." MiMi was happy to stay blissfully unaware of her grandchildren's sex life.

"Yes, please stop talking Mabel. You are ruining my moment."

"Ha, bullshit. This is what we do, nothing's going to ruin this moment, nothing because this is the best thing that's happened to us in a long time."

"What do you mean first date?" Iris never thought Lola of all people would do something like that. They had drummed it into her the dangers of one-night stands and going too far too soon.

"Thank you Mabel." Lola tried to sound annoyed but she was loving all the banter, it felt good. Riley just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "I'd known Riley for a couple of years, it wasn't technically our first date."

"Except, it actually was." Lola just glared at Mae.

"Who wants a drink?" Riley interrupted. "I feel like I need a drink." He scuttled inside before he could get dragged further into that mess.

"I've figured you mob out." Riley laughed on the way home. "The more insane the dinner the happier you are."

"Yes. They are really happy." She had to agree, when things went really pear shaped it was usually because everyone was really happy. This is one of those times and it had been crazy good.

"How do you feel now?"

Running a hand up his thigh, dangerously high, Lola giggled playfully. "Actually I feel a bit toey."

"Right." He pressed his foot down a little. "Let's get you home then."


	9. Sixty Years

Feeling his pager buzz several times he finally had to excuse himself from the patient rounds. It was the ER department and it was unusual to get a page from them and one that seemed so urgent. His heart sank when he returned the call and he promised he'd come down.

"Pops?" He rested his hand on the old man's shoulder.

"I couldn't wake her up."

It was a stroke, sometime in the middle of the night Kim had had a stroke. It wasn't looking good for her and Adam was sitting beside her bed holding her hand, desperate for any sign that his wife was still with him. They had her intubated and were waiting on the results of a CT scan. "How much longer?" He wanted to know what the hold up was and why they weren't doing anything.

"I will go and find out." He squeezed Adam's shoulder. "Will you be okay for a minute?" Adam barely heard him.

The news wasn't great. They were in no rush because it was unlikely that even if Kim had been treated straight away it wouldn't have helped, the stroke appeared to be a major event and her body was shutting down.

He went back in and found Adam hunched over, his head resting on Kim's hand. He touched his back lightly. "Can I call Gus?"

"Yes." Adam hadn't called anyone, except 911. He didn't want to bother anyone if it was for nothing. "She's not coming back is she?"

"It's unlikely."

"I don't want to let her go." He sobbed. "I've loved her for so long. She's been by my side more than 60 years. What am I going to do?"

"Hold her hand, tell her how much you love her."

Riley stepped just outside the room and called Gus. He could hear Adam's sobbing behind him and he struggled to keep it together. "Hey Gus."

"What's up Bud? Is Lola okay?"

"Yeah man she is. Uh, Adam asked me to call you. He's just bought your Mom into the ER. I think you need to come down."

"Is she okay?"

"Not really. She's had a stroke. I'm sorry Gus but it's not looking good. Your Dad is with her, he's pretty devastated." He hated doing this over the phone, he hated doing this to people he didn't know so having to do it for the people he loved was the worst feeling he'd ever had.

"Is he alone? Where's Lola?"

"I haven't told her yet. I'll stay with him until you get here."

He sat with Adam while they waited, Gus wasn't far away. "Who did you tell?"

"I just called Gus. I will go up and see Lola in a moment, once Gus gets here. She's in clinics right now."

"I don't want her to worry. She can't worry about this with the baby." Adam was still clutching Kim's hand. Riley couldn't imagine what it must be like to have loved someone for so long and be faced with the thought of losing them. He couldn't imagine losing Lola and they had only been together five years.

"Pops. We have to tell her. Gus wants to wait until he gets here and talks to the Doctors before we call the others." They were all going to be devastated.

"But she'll worry and that's not good for the baby. Tell her once Kim is better."

"Pops. Don't hold out hope, MiMi's really sick Pops."

"I have to hope Riley, I've got nothing else." He could barely speak. "I lost her daughter, I can't lose her too."

He jumped up when Gus came in. He was at his Dad's side in an instant and Adam cried but didn't let go of his wife's hand, he wasn't letting her go. "What's going on Dad?"

"I couldn't wake her up. She went to bed last night fine and then she never got up. I tried to wake her but she didn't wake. Why won't she wake up?" Adam was shaking her hand. "Angus, wake her up."

It was utterly devastating for both Adam and Gus and Riley found it incredibly difficult to watch. He didn't know whether to leave them alone or stay in case Gus had questions. They were interrupted by the neurosurgeon and the news wasn't good, Kim had had a massive bleed on her brain, close to her brain stem. They could try to remove it but at her age the procedure was unlikely to be successful, she probably wouldn't make it through surgery and if she did her quality of life would be minimal. She wouldn't be going home.

"She's not ready yet." Adam argued. "She wants to see the baby. She wants to help Lola."

"Adam. It's high unlikely that Kim will ever wake up." The Doctor spoke quietly and calmly. He always found it harder with elderly people because he felt for the person left behind, the one person they had lived their whole life beside. To learn that it was all over, without the chance to say goodbye was heartbreaking and never got any easier.

"How unlikely?"

"95 percent."

"So that's a 5 percent chance she will."

"Of that 5 percent there is no chance she will have any awareness or movement." The neurosurgeon showed both Gus and Riley the brain scan, it was an enormous bleed. Adam didn't want to look, he didn't understand this stuff anyway.

Gus wrapped his arms around his Dad. "Dad. We've got to let her go."

"No, no, no." Adam cried. "I can't. I can't let her go. It's not time."

Riley slipped upstairs to tell Lola; the receptionist had messaged him to say that she was on her last patient. He had called her and asked her to let him know, he didn't want her to find out from someone else. Each step closer felt heavier.

"Early lunch?" Lola looked up from her notes as he came in. "Perfect timing."

"No, Lola honey, your Pops bought MiMi in a little while ago." Riley had to get straight to it before his courage failed him.

"Why? What's wrong?" The look on Riley's face sent a wave of dread through her. "Riley? Tell me?"

"She had a massive stroke sometime overnight."

"So they've started TPA?" Lola started grabbing her things and shoving them in her bag. "Where is she?"

"No. No TPA, it's too late." He reached for her hand and it was shaking. "Let's go."

Lola stopped on a dime and swung around to face him angrily. "What do you mean too late, they have to try."

"Lola, MiMi's not going to make it. They've decided not to operate due to the size, location and time passed. It's a bleed not a blockage."

"No, Riley, please talk to them. I'll talk to them." He led her out of the clinics and towards the lift. He was grateful that she was still holding his hand, her other hand was protectively cradling her six-and-a-half-month pregnant belly. She slapped his hand away when he went to touch it as the elevator doors slid closed.

"Listen to me. Adam doesn't want to let her go, but you know the outcome of this. Don't make this harder for him." Lola was angry at him and she reefed her hand away. "Even if they operate it's unlikely she will make it through surgery, if she does she will never wake up. I know you don't want her to suffer, and she doesn't deserve to die on the operating table either. You all need to be with her, you need to help Adam say goodbye."

"I can't. I can't lose her, not now. We are so close. I want her to see her baby, I want my baby to be cuddled by MiMi." Lola leant on him as her broken heart spilled out. "I can't do this by myself."

All Riley could do was hold her, even I love you felt hollow but he said it anyway.

Riley held his hand in the middle of her back and steadied her as she stepped into the room. "Pops." Adam's head shot up and the tears spilled down his cheeks. "Oh Pops."

Riley nudged her forward and she wrapped her arms around him and Adam used his free hand to hold her hands close to his chest. "Thanks for coming but you shouldn't have. I don't want to worry you with the baby, you need to look after the baby."

Gus caught Riley's eye and shook his head. It was going to take a lot to get Adam to let go. Gus jumped up and let Lola sit down beside Adam and Kim and she held Adam's hand in one and Kim's in the other while they slipped just outside the room.

"He's not accepting it. I don't know what to do." It was hard for Gus, he was trying to be rational but this was his Mom. As much as he didn't want to say goodbye to his Mom he had to do what was best for her and for his Dad. As tough as that was. "Will Lola talk to him?"

"I don't know, she wasn't really accepting it either."

Riley offered to make a few phone calls, they needed to let Mae and Iris know and he wanted to give Alfie a chance to make it as well. It was unlikely that he would, but it wouldn't be fair not to give him a chance. They had no idea how long Kim could hang on for. They were tough phone calls to make.

Mae and Iris were on their way and Alfie promised to call him back with flight details as soon as he had booked it. Riley warned him that he may not make it, he didn't want him to have false hope.

Gus and Riley had both been surprised to hear Lola telling Adam that he had to let her go. "MiMi wouldn't want this, you know it. I know you don't want to say goodbye, I don't either. She's not going to be alone, we'll be with her and you and we will stay here with you and MiMi can go be with Polly."

"I can't Lola. It should be me first. She is so much stronger than me. She can live without me, I can't live without her."

"You are strong Pops, the strongest man I know. Look what you've already done. My Baby needs you too."

They moved Kim out of the ER up the neuro ward. Adam refused to leave her side. Riley organised a recliner for him, it wasn't the usual practice but he pulled in a favour. Rhiannon came in with Charlie and Viv and along with Lola, Mae and Iris they rotated sitting with Kim. Gus stayed with his Mom also and Adam just held her hand and watched her face for any sign that Kim was still with them, the stillness in her face was painful. She was beautiful but oh so still.

Riley ordered some food to be delivered, not that anyone had an appetite and he talked to Alfie a couple of times. He'd got on a flight but it would still be close to 36 hours until he arrived and he promised to call at each of his stopovers. He talked to Adam briefly and Adam told him not to come but deep down he appreciated that he would be here.

He had finally accepted that this was the end.

It was a long night and nobody left the hospital. Riley convinced Lola to at least have a sleep in the on-call room so she could lie down properly but it wasn't until Adam had basically told her to do it that Lola relented.

He sat with her for a while and rubbed her forehead until she drifted off but before she did she started talking about her parents and grandparents.

"Mom was only just pregnant with me, like nobody knew and Pops had this accident at work and for a few days he was in an induced coma. It completely wigged Mom out, Dad was going through shit at work and they were trying to keep the pregnancy a secret. I think she said she was about 10 weeks and they eventually told Adam while he was still in hospital because he was been a right royal pain in the ass and Mom wanted to cheer him up. He gave Dad this awesome lecture about not eloping. He gave Dad a lot of lectures over the years."

"I get the feeling Adam was a tough old bastard."

"Apparently so, MiMi was tough too, the toughest woman I've ever met. Pops also had a huge accident when Gus was about three or four months old. They weren't sure he was going to make it, but he did, he always does. MiMi sat by his side every single time. She was feeding Gus, looking after Polly and worried about Pops. He almost lost a kidney, a few weeks after that they found out she was pregnant again."

"What happened?"

"She lost it, she was about eight or nine weeks I think, they don't really talk about it. Mom was like seventeen when MiMi told her about her miscarriage. It nearly broke them but they are stronger than that. Together or apart they are so fucking strong."

Lola rolled onto her side and closed her eyes and Riley let her sleep. He sat with her, like she had begged him too. He tried to get some work done but rational thought left him. It was like a recurring nightmare. They had spent a week sitting beside his mother's bed as she suffered through the last few days of her fight against cancer. Lola hadn't left his side. It was a few weeks after their wedding and no way to spend their honeymoon.

The stakes felt higher this time. Not that losing his Mom wasn't the worst feeling in the world, she was suffering in the end and got her one last wish, she wanted to see her son married. Kim's wish, to see her granddaughter become a mother was so close to coming true. And that felt cruel. It felt cruel that this beautiful woman who he adored had to deal with this devastating loss when it should have been one of the happiest times of her life. She'd suffered enough tragedy in her life. He just wanted her to be happy.

And he wanted her grandmother to hold her great grandchild because that's all Lola wanted, to make her grandparents happy. Tearfully she admitted that she thought that this baby would go some way to replace the gaping hole in their hearts that had been their constant companion since the day their own daughter died. Kim had never got over the death of Polly, she carried it every day, it was a scar on her heart that would never heal.

Now his baby had to save her Pops. What scared him the most was quite often, when people had been together so long that once one went the other soon followed. They died of a broken heart. He didn't think Lola would survive that and as he watched her sleep he tried to make a deal with whoever would listen.

Lola slept for about two hours. It wasn't nearly enough, Riley wanted her to sleep longer but as soon as she woke she wanted to go back to check on MiMi. "Any news?" she asked the moment she opened her eyes.

"No change. Alfie sent a message. He's about to board his flight out of Hong Kong."

Riley made her eat and drink something before they left the lounge. Just a glass of water and a few crackers. Protesting was futile and he played the Pops card hard. Her Pops would be annoyed with her if he thought she wasn't taking care of her baby. "Do you think you can find me some apple juice or something. I feel a little shaky."

"Okay." He rummaged through the fridge, her had no idea who's juice it was but left a note apologising and a few dollars to replace it. "Listen to me. I know you want to stay with MiMi and I won't stop you but only if you promise to keep eating and drinking, just something small…" Lola nodded. "…and let me take your blood pressure." Although she thought it was unnecessary Riley was adamant. It came in at 120 over 80 which was a little higher than usual for Lola but nothing of concern. He also checked her blood sugar, which was a little low and he gave her another juice to drink and checked the fetal heart rate which was perfect.

"You done?" Lola slid her shirt back down over her belly.

"One more thing."

"What now?"

He beckoned her closer and kissed her softly. "I love you so much. Tell me what to do."

"You are doing it."

The day dragged on, nothing changed. Kim was stable and Adam fluctuated between hope and devastation. It was a struggle to get Adam out of his chair just to walk around, use the bathroom or have something to eat, he was scared to leave Kim in case she needed him, or worse still in case she finally let go. Lola let him feel the baby every time it kicked because Adam was stressing out about how this was affecting Lola and the baby. His eyes would light up and he would talk about feeling her mother kicking Kim and how much he loved it, he talked about all Polly's pregnancies and he told her how excited MiMi was. He even talked about how they'd celebrate each of their grandchild's births. "We were going to give it a crack when you had this little one but I am not sure all that works anymore. They'd be having their first birthday before I could get it going."

"Pops." Iris gasped.

As the time ticked by all they wanted was Alfie to make it. It was like MiMi was hanging on just to see him, her darling grandson. Adam started asking her to wait for Alfie. Her blood pressure started to rise a little, enough to concern her Doctors and her heart rate was fluctuating. "What does this mean?" Adam asked both Lola and Riley even though the Doctors had explained it to him.

"It means that MiMi is fighting hard but her body is not keeping up with her iron will."

It soon became obvious that time was running out. They cleared out the room and left Adam alone to say his goodbye to Kim.

"My beautiful Darlin'. We've had good times and bad times but at least we were together for them all. I couldn't imagine going through this life without you. My beautiful children, Polly and Angus they filled our hearts with joy, every day. They gave us beautiful grandchildren and soon we will get our great grandchild. I know you won't be here to meet them, but I will, I promise and I will tell them all about you. How fierce you were, how loving, patient, strong, funny and beautiful you were. I've loved you my whole life, almost my whole life, the life that matters anyway. I don't remember not loving you. You made me better, you made me look good. I adored you, I still adore you. I don't want to live without you but if you have to go, go see my Polly. Kiss her for me, tell her I love her and tell her I am looking after her babies."

He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose. He wanted to kiss her lips one more time, like he did when she went to bed two nights ago. Like he did when he tried to wake her but couldn't. Just one more time. "I love you Darlin'."

A short time later she was gone. With her husband, her son, her grandchildren and her family around her. Adam Ruzek lost the love of his life, he held her hand as she slipped away and when they took out her breathing tube he got to kiss her one last time. His tears fell from his own cheeks onto hers and he didn't wipe them away, he wanted part of him to go with her.

_**I'm sorry :(**_


	10. Homecoming

As soon as Alfie came through the doors and saw Iris with Riley he knew. Iris had insisted on coming with Riley to pick him up. Truth be told she had to get out of the house. It was making her feel caged in and she was struggling.

Being told over and over again that it must be harder for Iris because Kim was more like a mother to her than her own mother was starting to get to her. Sure she was close to Kim, no closer than Lola, Mae or Alfie. They were all close to MiMi in their own ways. Her mother was her mother and her siblings had kept her parents alive for her, she felt like she knew them, she looked at photos of them and watched videos of them adoring her, she knew how loved she was. Now she had lost her grandmother too and that felt heavy.

"Is Lola Bear okay?" Iris asked as she buckled up her seatbelt.

"I don't really know Bug."

"And the baby?"

"The baby is fine. Lola will make sure of that."

"I worry about the stress. If the baby is born now it won't make it will it?"

"It might, 28 weeks is not great and it would be a long road…" Riley squeezed her hand. "…try not to worry. Lola's not going to have the baby yet."

"Oh okay. I've heard that stress can make you have a premature birth."

"Sometimes, but I am keeping an eye on her. We've just got to make sure she rests and doesn't do too much. Might be hard to get her to slow down though."

Mae's probably got that on her list." Iris chuckled. "Make Lola Bear sit still." She mocked her sister's penchant for list writing. Being an event organiser was right up her alley. She could write lists to her hearts content and now that she had got older she was better equipped to handle that than when she was younger.

"I hope so." He looked at his sister-in-law. She was growing up into a beautiful young woman like her sisters and she had already experienced the heart break of young love and how fairy tales don't always come true. Her last boyfriend didn't turn out the best, Iris really liked him, unfortunately he also really liked two other girls and kept them all stringing along. They tried to warn Iris, he was doing odd things, cancelling dates at the last minute with no real excuse, he was always on his phone and would often go out alone, telling her he was going out with some friends. For everyone else it was alarm bells, but Iris was smitten and ended up heartbroken. He tried to tell her, when she found out that he would tell the other's it was over and commit to her but Iris was smarter than that. Lola and Mae made sure of it, it had been tense for a few weeks between the sisters but she had come out the other side now and insisted that it was just a learning experience for her and she was fine. "How are you Bug?"

"I feel like my heart has been ripped out." He looked at her hands and it made his chest tighten a little to see what she was clutching. It was a small train, he hadn't seen it often but it was apparently the train that Alfie had given his Mom to take into hospital when she was born. It was Iris's first present and she didn't often have it with her but it was never far away. When she travelled she took it with her and when she was upset or stressed she would hold it and draw comfort from it.

Lola had always told him how close Iris and Alfie were.

"I know that feeling."

"I'm worried about Pops."

"He's a fighter, he is desperate to see Lola's baby, he promised MiMi he would and he'd take care of you all."

"Yes but he's old Riley. I don't think I ever really got my head around that until today. They are not always going to be here and it's stupid because this family, of all family's knows about death. I mean I am a fucking orphan, I have been since I was three years old and that fucking hurts you know. But losing MiMi, I just didn't think it was ever going to happen. I don't know what I thought, people don't live forever but I wanted her too."

"Life isn't fair or easy Bug."

"It's just I don't remember my parents, not in any physical sense and I don't remember them dying or the funeral or anything. Nobody close to me has died, that I remember. Sure I know Kev and Antonio died and Jay and I know Pops and MiMi were really upset but I didn't feel it, not like this."

"Of course you didn't. They weren't MiMi."

"Alfie's going to hate himself."

"He might, for a bit and that's okay. MiMi wanted him to go live his life, his dream and that's what he is doing. She knew how much he loved her and how much he loved living over there and feeling closer to his Dad and Mom." Riley squeezed her hand. "She was so proud of him, she'd tell anyone who would listen that he was following in his Dad's footsteps."

"I know." She sighed. "Do you mind if I tell him?"

"Of course not Bug."

Iris twisted the train in her lap, she was anxious but felt she owed it to Alfie. They were always close and she missed him like crazy. She would message him constantly and talk to him every week. "But don't go too far away." Riley had filled that gap in her life a little, she liked having a 'brother' around and he always was willing to help her out.

"I'll be right behind you."

Riley stood with his arm around her shoulder while they waited. His phone rang and he ignored it for now. It wasn't Lola or Mae so it could wait. "You gonna get that?"

"Nope. It's not important." Right now his focus was on his sister-in-law, he didn't want to be distracted by irrelevant stuff, this was far more important, he promised to be there for her and he would be. Lola would kill him if he wasn't, he was very aware of the pecking order.

Iris spotted him first and burst into tears, and Alfie when he finally spotted them stopped in his tracks. He knew. Iris flew at him and straight into his arms. "Hey, Bug. It's okay."

"She tried Alfie, she really did."

"I know. It's okay, I'm here now." He hugged his sister tightly, unable and unwilling to stop the tears that had been threatening the closer his flight got to Chicago. "I love you Bug. Are you okay?"

"No."

Riley stood back and let them have their moment. Until eventually Iris let him go and he shook Riley's hand and pulled him in for a hug. "I'm sorry Alfie."

"Yeah." He wiped away his tears. "Me too."

They headed towards the baggage carousel and Alfie kept a firm grip on his sister's hand. Riley grabbed his bag from his hand once he had dragged it off the carousel and they headed towards the carpark.

"How's Pops doing?"

"Sick of people fussing over him, worried about everyone else and utterly heartbroken." Iris offered a little tearfully, seeing her brother again would have been emotional enough, this was so much bigger. "Everyone is worried about him."

"I'm worried about him."

"He can't wait to see you, although he insists you are wasting time and money coming back."

"Good to see he's still as grumpy as ever. Some things never change." His voice caught in his throat a little. "Hey, how's Lola Bear? Getting fatter?"

"She's good Bud. She looks great but please don't tell her she is fat?"

"You know I will." He couldn't wait to see her and her little belly in person. Seeing it on Skype just wasn't the same. He wanted to touch it.

"I do." He nodded his head. "I do know that." Tossing his bag in the back Iris jumped in the back seat and let Alfie travel up front. He'd expect nothing less, Alfie was always asking her to show him her fat belly. Not mentioning it would freak Lola out more than she already was.

"What about Mae? How may lists has she written."

"A few."

He was quiet for a while, taking in his hometown again. He had to admit he didn't miss the place, he missed the people but not the city. It was too big for him now, his quiet life suited him, the space, the weather and the people just seemed more relaxed. "She didn't suffer did she, she wasn't in pain?"

"No, she wasn't. The stroke was catastrophic, she wouldn't have even felt it. It happened in her sleep, Pops tried to wake her in the morning and couldn't."

"Good. I didn't want her to suffer. They didn't try to keep her alive for me did they?"

"No, MiMi tried to stay for as long as she could." Iris insisted. "She tried Alfie."

He leant over into the back seat and squeezed her hand. "It's okay Bug."

"We didn't do any resuscitation attempts, once Pops understood that there was nothing they could do to help her he didn't want anything done. He wanted her to go peacefully, it took him a while to accept it though."

"What about Gus?"

"Gus has been with Pops the whole time. He's pretty devastated."

As they pulled into the driveway Alfie took a deep breath. Riley patted him on the leg, he couldn't imagine walking into this. He liked this guy, they'd only met a few times but he really liked him. They got on well and he wasn't the dickhead brother he'd encountered with some of his previous girlfriends.

While he had cried when he saw Iris he'd held together pretty well until he saw his Pops. He bypassed everyone and they let him as he headed straight for his Pops. "I'm sorry Alfie. I tried to get her to stay for you."

"Pops. Don't say that." He sat beside him and Adam fell against his grandson. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"You didn't need to come."

"Yes I did. I loved her so much, she was such an amazing grandmother, we wouldn't have made it without MiMi, and you." Alfie whispered. "I couldn't be anywhere else."

"MiMi was so proud of you."

"I know. She kept telling me and I really wanted to make her proud too." Alfie held his shaking hand. It shocked him a little how old Adam suddenly looked. He was starting to look frail and that was a bit of a kick in guts. Perhaps he should come home and stay for a bit. He sat with him for a while, people kept coming and Adam was getting agitated. It was overwhelming and right now he didn't want to keep talking about Kim. He wanted to be left alone with his family.

"Alfie, can you stop this." The doorbell rang again and Adam had had enough. "Why can't people give me a fucking chance to breath?"

So they put a stop to it. Riley and Mae's partner, Rick became the doormen. They told people that Adam was resting right now, which was the truth. They had got him to lie down for a little while and they thanked them for their sympathy. Even Gus was struggling with the constant stream of visitors. Riley remembered what it was like when his Mom died. People meant well but there were times when it got too much and you felt bad for turning people away but it had to be done for Adam's sake.

As well as Adam having a rest Lola went to lie down for a bit as well. Not only was Riley nagging her but Iris was in a tizz. He'd told her that Lola needed to rest and Iris took that seriously. She was trying to distract herself from thinking about MiMi by freaking out about everything Lola did. "Iris…" Lola snapped. "..fucking chill out. I am fine, don't you fucking nag me too. Riley is bad enough. Or did he send you?"

"No he didn't send me; I am worried about you is that okay? I need to worry about you."

"Why?"

"Because then I won't think about MiMi too much."

"I'm sorry Bug." Lola felt guilty for snapping at her sister. "I'm okay, the baby is fine. It's kicking around right now, do you want to feel it?"

Iris laid her hands on Lola's stomach and waited. It wasn't long before she felt the baby kick. "Hey, Emu. You feel awesome." They had started calling it Emu early on. Riley had been amused, they all had nicknames when their Mom was pregnant so it stands to reason this one did too, funnily enough Iris's was the only one that stuck, she was always Bug.

Riley came and checked on her. She was slightly annoyed that he had bought a blood pressure monitor home with them but she humoured him. He was just being sweet and protective and she couldn't hate him for that. "See, perfectly fine." Lola was glad to see her blood pressure had dropped a little from earlier on.

"Yep, perfectly fine." He put the monitor to the side and rested a hand on her belly. "How are you coping?"

"I feel like it's a bit of a nightmare. I am constantly comparing how this feels to how that felt." He knew what she was talking about, she was talking about when her parents died.

"There is no comparison Lola, they were your parents, you were 13. They were young, MiMi had lived a whole life and you are older now."

"I know. I feel bad though, I can't explain it." Lola felt bad because while she was devastated it wasn't as crushing as that day had been.

"It doesn't have to feel the same, nobody expects that."

She closed her eyes and as he often did when she was stressed or upset he ran his thumb back and forth over her forehead until she was asleep and then he crept out and left her to rest. Sleeping was the best thing she could do right now. They'd had very little sleep last night and she looked tired. He was worried about her but had to try and temper that so Iris didn't completely wig out. Heading back downstairs he assured her that Lola was asleep and everything was fine with 'Emu'.

Alfie slipped upstairs after she'd been asleep a couple of hours and he asked Riley if he could go see her. He'd spent time with Mae, Iris and Gus and he really wanted to see his Lola Bear.

When he sat on the edge of the bed she stirred. "Hey Lola Bear." He smiled sadly when she opened her eyes.

He helped her sit up so she could hug her brother. "I missed you."

"Gotta be something positive out of this. I get to see you like this." He pointed to her stomach.

"You can touch it."

Alfie ran his hands over her bump. "I can't believe my niece or nephew is in here."

"How do you think I feel? It's a little surreal to be honest but Riley is so excited."

"And you Lola Bear?"

"I am, and a little scared and sad too."

"Why? This is a good thing Lola, it's good for us."

"I know, I am just struggling a little because I really want Mom here and then I had MiMi and now she's gone…." Lola dissolved into a flood of tears and Alfie held her and cried with her.

"But you have us. You have Riley, and that guy adores you. You know he loves you like Dad loved Mom."

Alfie sat back a little but kept one hand on her belly hoping to feel a kick but the baby seemed to be sleeping. "I think I should come home for a bit."

"What? Alfie, No."

"Pops needs me. You need me. Bug needs me."

"Alfie, you can't. You are almost finished your study, you have to finish that. I won't let you give up on it."

"I've got a year left, that's it. I can look into transferring it back here, I might be able to do that."

"What about the zoo? That's where you want to be, it's what you have always wanted."

"I can still do that later." He didn't want to say it but they couldn't ignore it for much longer, not after the past two days. "Pops is getting old, he's not going to be around for much longer."

"Alfred, please don't say that. Not today."

"What Lola? It's true, you know it's true. I don't want to think about it either but I have too. I want to be here. You know how shit is was sitting on that plane for thirty hours, waiting, hoping? It fucking sucked. I can't do that again." His voice was shaking. "I didn't get to say goodbye to Mom and Dad and I I didn't get to say goodbye to MiMi, I didn't get to thank her for being my everything when I lost my Mom."

"She knew."

"I wanted to tell her." Lola went to move off the bed, she needed to pee and Alfie saw her grimace. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a cramp. This having a living thing inside you, squashing everything pretty much sucks some days." She waved him away. "It's weird."

"It looks weird. I vaguely remember Mom being pregnant with Bug, but not much."

Lola stood up and moved slowly to the bathroom while Alfie waited. It took longer than he expected but assumed that things were a little different now she was pregnant. Coming back out she looked as white as a ghost and she was clutching her stomach. "Alfie, you need to get Riley."


	11. Stay

Alfie flew down the stairs, he didn't want to leave Lola but she gritted her teeth and looked so panicked he bolted. He couldn't see Riley when he bounced off the bottom step. Gus was seeing someone out. "Gus, where's Riley?" he gasped breathlessly. "Lola needs him."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" he lied, unconvincingly "She just wants Riley."

The last he saw of him he was outside, talking Mae and Iris and a couple of their friends who had dropped by. They had escaped the chaos inside. They'd run interference for most of the afternoon and Gus's commander had showed up so they left him to it. Alfie didn't want to freak them all out, he knew that Iris had been a little intense earlier so he stood at the back door and tried to catch Riley's attention. Eventually he caught his eye and waved him over.

"What's up?"

"Lola needs you, like right now." So much for being discreet because Riley crashing through the back door and up the stairs two at a time alerted everyone that something was going on.

"What is it?" Iris was on Alfie like a rash.

"Nothing, Bug. Lola just wants Riley."

"Don't lie to me Alfred?"

"Bug, just leave it a minute." He grabbed her arm as she went to push past him. "It's okay. Just leave them. She just wants Riley."

Riley's heart was in his mouth when he found Lola sitting on the edge of the bed clutching her stomach with one hand and gripping the side of the bed with the other. She was taking deep breaths. "Oh god, Lola." He literally slid on his knees in front of her. "What is it? Are you having contractions?"

"I think so. It's too early Riley."

"Okay." He rested a hand on hers. "Tell me what's going on? How often? How many? How strong?"

"About five minutes apart." Lola took a deep breath and he could see that she was having a contraction. He glanced at his watch and kept one eye on her out of the corner of his eye. It lasted about fifteen seconds; fifteen seconds too long.

"Okay. I'm taking you in."

"What's going on?" Iris appeared and Alfie was following her. He could only keep her away for so long and she had literally bitten his head off when he tried to stop her and warned him to not touch her when he grabbed her arm to stop her rushing upstairs in a panic.

"I need to take Lola to hospital and get checked out."

"Why?"

"Bug, it's okay." Lola tried to reassure her. "Just a few contractions."

"No, it's too early." Iris took panic to a whole other level. She didn't even try and stay calm and Riley warned her to get her shit together or she could leave.

"We don't need this Bug, Back off."

Riley and Alfie helped her up off the bed and down the stairs. "Don't tell Pops." Lola begged as they got her in the car. "Tell him I went home for a rest. I don't want to worry him, not today."

Iris wanted to go with them but Lola told her to stay. If everyone left Pops would worry and they promised to call as soon as they knew what was going on. Riley held her hand tightly the whole trip, one eye on the road and the other on his wife and there was some relief that her contractions seemed to be a little further apart now. Not by much but they would take every second they could get.

Riley called ahead and they were going straight up to obstetrics and avoiding ER. He had called the on-call obstetrician who he had done a rotation with and he agreed to meet them as soon as they came in.

"It might just be stress?" Lola didn't say much. "Maybe we are over reacting?"

"Then we are over reacting. I'd rather they tell us that than sit at home and worrying."

"Pops is going to be beside himself."

"Hopefully we are back before he notices."

She laughed a little and shifted uncomfortably and Riley figured she was having another contraction. Lola looked at her watch and timed the contraction. "I mean we are bloody Doctors and look at us panicking?"

"Being a Doctor means fuck all when it's my baby and you." He squeezed her hand. "How long?"

"ten seconds and…" Lola exhaled slowly. "…milder."

Lola was put on a monitor as soon as they got in. They were relieved to hear a strong steady heartbeat. Dr Trembath arrived just after she was connected up.

"So.." he pulled up a seat at the monitor and checked the output before grabbing the ultrasound wand. "…what's going on?"

"I started having contractions about an hour ago, they were about five minutes apart and quite strong. They come on quickly."

"Water's broken? Any spotting or bleeding?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Are they still getting stronger or closer together."

"No, they have slowed down a little." Doctor Trembath watched as Lola had another contraction, they could see it on the screen and Riley was terrified. The last thing they needed right now was a premature baby.

"Anything unusual over the past few days?" Lola's eyes welled up and Riley filled in for her.

"Lola's grandmother died this morning. She had a stroke early yesterday morning and we spent all day and night at the hospital. It's been pretty tough. I've taken her blood pressure a few times and it's a little higher than normal but not unusual for pregnancy." He looked at the screen and Lola's Obs were also being recorded and he could see that it was elevated. She had already peed in a cup to check her protein levels in her urine and they were relieved that they quickly ruled out pre-eclampsia. "It hasn't been that high."

"That's to be expected. I'm sorry about your grandmother. That certainly wouldn't help in your state." He watched the screen closely as did both Riley and Lola. The grip she had on Riley's hand was extraordinary and he suddenly wasn't looking forward to her giving birth because it was going to hurt him. They saw the heart beating away and their Emu's little feet and hands waving and kicking about. "Well someone doesn't seem too concerned, and they aren't head down bum up that's for sure. Your amniotic sac looks intact." He replaced the probe and patted Lola's knee. "It looks good but I am going to do an internal just to check your cervix okay?"

Dr Trembath kept talking to them, he was very calming which was what they needed. Being a Doctor in some situations didn't help, not when you knew all the possible scenarios and there was no way you could stop them flashing through your mind. "So your Mom, any preterm births? Any complications, pre-eclampsia?" Family history all added to the picture.

"No, gravida 4 para 4. Three of us were term and one sister was preterm due to a fall and placental abruption, she was 35 weeks. She also had severe hyperemesis with my brother and was induced at 37+3 weeks because she was so sick and completely over it. All healthy babies, my sister had jaundice but that's it."

"Your Mom did it tough. How was your first trimester?"

"A little rough, more tired than anything, a bit of nausea but nothing too problematic." Lola wiggled up a little and lifted her knees in preparation for her internal. She knew the drill. "It's been a smooth pregnancy so far."

It was even better news, Lola was only 1cm dilated and wasn't effaced at all. "1cm is not a concern right now, we will check in another hour or so if you are still contracting. I don't want to give you steroids just yet because my gut feel is that you are not in labour but I want you to stay here, preferably overnight, on bed rest and we will keep the monitor on and check you again over the next few hours and if you continue to dilate, I will give you the steroids just in case. Any questions?" He looked at both Lola and Riley.

"Is the baby okay? Like if it is born tonight is it a good size?" Riley had so many thoughts running through his head.

"It's hard to tell but I'd say about 2lbs, give or take. I'd like bigger but it's not the worst. 28 and 3 is better than 27, not as good as 29 or 30." He made some notes. "I think some bed rest might be just what you need. If it settles down in the next few hours I wouldn't think too much of it. Stress, and a very emotional day may have just got your body a little screwed up."

"Thank you." Lola felt like the weight on her chest was starting to lift.

"Try not to worry, we see this all the time and nine times out of ten it's the last we see of you until you are term. It was probably your body's way of reminding you to slow down, take it easy and take care of yourself too. Hard in situations like this but it's important that you try." Dr Trembath was very calming and Lola felt herself start to relax.

Riley's phone was going berserk in his pocket but he ignored it, right now he was worried about Lola, she was relieved but that didn't stop the tears bubbling over. She'd held them in since they'd left the house. "Let it go now Lola Bear." He climbed on the bed and held onto her as she clutched handfuls of his shirt. "It's okay. Please try and breathe."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"All this, it's my fault."

"Oh honey, it's not your fault. It's been a long, tiring, emotional and stressful couple of days. Your body has just hit its limit, it's reminding us that we are not just looking after you, we are looking after Emu too. We are going to rest here tonight and then see what tomorrow brings."

"Everyone is going to be freaking out."

"Don't I know it; my pocket feels like I am packing my own personal vibrator."

"Call them please. Let them know I am okay and see how Pops is?"

Mae answered the phone on the first ring. He thought she'd be the most sensible person to talk too. When he pulled out his phone he had 14 missed calls, 10 from Iris, 2 from Alfie and 2 from Mae. He also had more text messages than he thought humanly possible. "How's Lola?"

"She's okay."

"And the baby?" Mae barely let him finish telling her Lola was okay.

"Well it doesn't seem like we meeting our baby tonight but we are staying here for a bit. Lola needs to rest, but the contractions are slowing down." They had noticed that since the Doctor had left she hadn't had a contraction. "They are pretty confident that it's just a false alarm. The stress of the day and all that. Hey Lola wants to know how Pops is?"

"He's a smart man, he knows we are lying and he's staring at me right now demanding the phone."

"Put him on." Riley handed the phone to Lola.

"I'm okay Pops, Emu is just making sure I know to look after myself." It was a one-sided conversation for Riley but he could imagine Adam going off. "Yes, so I guess you and I both need to let people take care of us….. Yes Riley is being very attentive. He won't let me out of bed…. Please don't cry Pops. We are okay. I will see you tomorrow. We will be home in the morning…No no Pops you don't need to come in, stay there with Mae and Alfie and Bug, I'm going to have a good night's sleep here and Riley will stay with me….. I am sure. I love you Pops."

"What a fucking shitty fucking day." Lola handed Riley back his phone. "It keeps fucking beeping."

"I'll turn it off."

"No, it's okay. Answer them, they won't fucking stop otherwise." Lola was obviously at the end of her tether because the language was deteriorating. Stress often bought out her Ruzek mouth.

"I'll get them in a little while. Any contractions?"

"Just one, it felt more like a tightening than the others. Not as strong."

"Good." Riley looked at her monitor.

"Stop fucking looking at it, stop being a Doctor."

"No." He was a little stressed out himself and he knew he had no right to demand that someone care about him right now but he wished Lola would at least acknowledge that this was tough for him too. "I am allowed to fucking care."

"I don't need you stressing me out right now, I am stressed enough as it is. I need you to look calm and look like this is under control."

Riley just stood up, he kissed her forehead and told her to get some rest. He was going to grab something from the vending machine. He didn't drink it often but he needed a coke or something to give him a sugar rush. If Lola had barely slept for two days then neither had he. He got a couple of short naps here and there in the waiting room and he was used to running on a few hours' sleep but this piled on top of tiredness was kicking his ass.

Lola didn't even open her eyes when he came back and for a while, he couldn't help himself he stood and stared at the monitor. The baby's heartbeat comforted him, as did his wife's. The steady graph line also showed him that there were no contractions either. "Riley…" Lola spoke quietly. He had seen she was awake because her heart rate increased a little. "…today has been really tough."

"I'm scared shitless."

"Me too." He turned around and Lola wiggled over so that he could stretch out beside her.

"I'm scared because I know the next few days are going to be tough too, and I worry about this." He ran his hand over her belly and Lola stopped him by placing her hand on top and they both held onto their baby. "I worry about you, about Emu, about Pops. I am out of my fucking mind Lola."

"I will do whatever it takes to keep this baby in here. I promise. I will let the other's take care of Pops and things for MiMi."

"Well, I am pretty sure they aren't going to let you lift a damn finger. I think Bug would take a piss for you if she could."

"Mae's already written another list hasn't she, got everyone on a roster?"

"Yep."

Riley wasn't surprised when little more than an hour later the door to their room creaked open. Lola was sleeping, she'd had another internal and there was no sign of dilation, which was a relief. If anything they couldn't even say she was 1cm anymore. It had shut up shop. Her contractions had all but stopped and her blood pressure had come down.

"Hey Bug. Come in." Riley whispered so as not to wake Lola. He slid off the bed and hugged his young sister-in-law. "I am not surprised to see you. Are you okay?"

"Not really. I had to see with my own eyes that she's okay? I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't. Not today."

"She's okay, Emu isn't going anywhere. Hop up on the bed and stay with her. I'm going to make a couple of calls." He had wanted to return some calls but didn't want to leave Lola alone.

Iris curled into her sister and draped an arm over her, resting it on her belly. Lola moved her hand and covered it and spoke without opening her eyes. "I love you Bug."

"I had to come, I was out of my mind."

"It's okay, Bug. We are okay, it was just a bit of scare."

"I was terrified. I talked to Riley about it this morning when we went to pick up Alfie. I think I jinxed it."

"You didn't jinx anything. It was just Emu saying 'hey, I'm in here and you need to take care of me'. It's one of those things."

"MiMi would know what to do?"

"She would. Hey don't cry Bug." Lola felt her sister's tears on her back when she buried her head into her. "Please don't worry. I'll be home in the morning and you can fuss over me to your heart's content."

"Promise?"

"Promise, if you can get past Riley though."

"He's amazing Lola Bear, he's been so amazing. I hope I am as lucky as you one day."

"Me too Bug." She squeezed her sister's hand, she hoped that Iris would find someone like Riley, she knew how lucky she was. He had been amazingly patient with her, he encouraged her and wanted her to be a success, he celebrated her achievements more than his own. Her parents would have loved him and she couldn't wait to have his baby.

"Pops is on a tear. He's not happy that we tried to keep this from him."

"I didn't want to worry him."

"I think he wanted something else to think about." Iris sighed. "He's so heartbroken Lola Bear."

"He is, it's been a long time since he's been like this."

"Was this what it was like when Mom and Dad died?"

Lola rolled over so that she was facing Iris and let Iris rest her hands on her belly. "Sort of. That felt so much bigger though, not that MiMi isn't huge but it's hard to explain. With Mom and Dad we also lost our future. MiMi didn't lose her future, she'd already lived it."

"Because they are old, is it not meant to hurt as much?"

"No, Bug, it still hurts, it hurts like crazy and I never wanted this, but when you are thirteen and lose the two people who were supposed to always be there and love you and support you it's just devastating. I was so worried about you too, I was worried that you wouldn't remember them, that they'd mean nothing to you."

"They do mean everything to me but I feel ripped off, I feel like I've never had parents and I hear people bitch and moan about having to visit their parents, or that their parents are annoying and horrible and I just want to scream at them. _'I wouldn't know, I don't know my Mom and Dad, I'd love to have the chance to be pissed at them but all I got was to be angry that they died.' _It's not fair."

"It's not, I never wanted this for you Bug." Lola stroked her face softly. "Never. I wish you had what I had, I wish you had memories."

"I want your baby to be okay, I need it to be okay because I am scared if it's not it will break this family and this is all I have." Iris's heartbreaking admission shattered her sister. All of them had memories of happier family times but all Iris had was the people around her now. MiMi was the first loss that she really felt and Lola's heart broke for her. Her little sister was so precious to them, they had protected her, fiercely at times but they couldn't protect her from this.

"My baby will be okay because I am not going to let anything happen to Emu and I know they are all up there looking after our little baby." Lola didn't really believe in the afterlife or heaven or anything even close but she did like to think that somehow they'd be together right now and that someone or something would know not to hurt Emu because right now she or he was needed here. Like Charlie came at the perfect time for Rhiannon and Gus, when they needed him the most. This baby had the same destiny.

When Riley returned they were both asleep. He wanted to be curled up beside his wife right now, protecting his child but they needed each other more. It was hard sometimes, it stung when Lola would turn to her siblings and away from him but a lifetime of being there for each other was a hard habit to break. He didn't hate it or demand that it stopped but it still was a little hard to handle at times. He bent down and kissed Lola's forehead and settled into the recliner in the corner to try and get some sleep. It wasn't hard, he'd been at this for days but he slept restlessly and every time they came in to check Lola he woke.

While Riley was out of the room he returned calls to Gus, Alfie and his father and then he tracked down Dr Trembath. He wanted to talk to him honestly, without Lola. He was unsure whether they had been told everything or told things so that they wouldn't worry.

He offered to buy him a coffee. "You have questions?" Dr Trembath asked. He had been impressed with Riley when he did his rotation with him and was happy to sit and have a chat. Not only as a concerned Dad-to-be but as a young Doctor who was still learning and willing to learn. He'd been here himself, he was just out of residency when his first child was born and being a Doctor doesn't help, you think too much, know too much and worry about all the things that go wrong rather than everything that goes right.

"I do, we don't need a preterm baby right now but if that's a possibility I'd rather that Lola is prepared for it."

"You know there are no guarantees?"

Riley nodded. "I do."

"I can look at a Mom one day and say, yep go home you're not even close and they turn up three hours later in full labour with a baby pushing through their cervix or promise them any day now and I end up inducing them because they are two weeks overdue."

"I know." He picked at the edge of his paper cup. "It's unpredictable."

"Lola is not in labour, yes she had some contractions, Braxton Hicks most likely but quite intense and considering the day she's had it probably exacerbated things."

"What are the chances of her going into premature labour now?"

"No greater than yesterday."

"If the baby was born now, what are we looking at?"

"Hard to say, three months early isn't great but outcomes are pretty impressive these days. Every baby is different but you say its' been a good pregnancy so far, that's always helpful. Your baby looks a good size for its gestation. All your scans have been NA, you are in the best possible spot for a preterm baby."

Riley rubbed his hands over his face. "We don't need this."

"Riley, I'll check her again before I go home and if there is any change they will call me and I will come straight back in. I will do whatever I can to preserve the pregnancy and if I can't I will look after your wife and baby."

"Why didn't you give steroids?"

"Because I don't think Lola is in labour, I don't like giving them if they are not needed. Same reason apart from a muscle relaxant I am not going to give tocolytics either right now. I need you to trust me."

"I do but this is just really shit timing."

"You'd be surprised how often emotional trauma like this makes things happen. I've delivered many babies hours or days after a death in the family."

"Great."

"Not that I think Lola is likely to progress to full labour. I think the rest will do her good."

"Her Pops is freaking out. Poor guy just lost his wife of 60 odd years and now he's worried about his granddaughter having a preterm baby."

"Tough day."

Riley sighed. "Tough life. Lola was raised by her grandparents from 13 years of age, her and her three siblings. Her parents were killed in a car accident. Losing her MiMi today is hard for them."

"No wonder she is in here." He leant forward and patted his arm. "Try to stay calm, Lola needs to stay as calm as possible and from what I know if Dad's stay calm so does Mom. I'll be back in morning to discharge you but make sure she rests often, doesn't get too caught up in all the drama that family funerals always bring."

"We haven't even thought that far ahead yet."

"My suggestion, all those meals people drop off when someone dies…" Riley nodded. They'd certainly had plenty of people turn up bearing food already and it was only day one. "…take some home for yourselves."

"Trust me, her siblings won't let her move a muscle." He laughed painfully. "She's gonna hate them."

"She won't when it keeps that baby inside for another three months."

Riley wasn't sure if he felt better or worse but he knew he had to try and stay calm and positive for Lola, and Iris who was obviously here because she wigged out completely. Alfie had told him as much, she was beside herself and it got ugly when they took her phone away from her to stop hassling people. When Riley grabbed Lola's phone earlier on she had multiple missed calls and messages from Iris. He had taken it off her and switched it off to make sure she rested and didn't fret, arguing that people would call him if there was anything to worry about.

Lola got up once to use the bathroom without thinking and set the alarms off on her monitor. It woke everyone up and bought two midwives running in. Riley flew out of the recliner and Iris just about fell off the bed. "Jesus, calm down. I am fine. I just need to pee."

"Turn the light on." Riley reminded her.

"What for?"

"You need to check for any bleeding."

"Don't." she held up her hand. "Don't say that."

"Come on Lola, we can't ignore it. Just humour me." Riley was desperate to touch her and hold her. He needed her just as much as she needed him so he followed her into the bathroom, much to her annoyance.

"I can pee by myself."

"I know."

"Then what?"

"Can I have a hug?"

"What?"

"I need a hug." Riley looked at the floor. "It's been a really rough day Lola, for everyone."

Lola slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest, she felt safe here. "I guess this is the 'for worse' part of our wedding vows?" They hadn't had much of chance since this morning, it was hard just finding a minute alone and Lola had to admit she was looking forward to going home at some stage and just relaxing with her husband. He was going to drive her nuts with his worry and he would nag her constantly, at least for a few weeks until things settled down. That was her hope anyway.

"Yes." It seemed strange to be hiding in the bathroom of Lola's hospital room in the middle of the night. "I just want to protect you, keep you safe and stop you from getting hurt."

"You do protect me, you do keep me safe but you can't stop this hurting."

"I know."

"Do you want me to ask Iris to leave?"

"No, of course not. I've had my hug now, I'm good." He kissed her forehead. "Now let's get you back to bed and hooked up. I want to be lulled to sleep by that beautiful heartbeat."


	12. A New Day

Dr Trembath was in early, he knew that they would be keen to get out of here. There had been no issues overnight and Lola was adamant that she hadn't had any contractions. He did another internal exam and she was locked up tight. "Just take it easy for a few days, hard I know and I will see you in three days just to have a peak." He told them to call his secretary and organise to pop in at the start of his next clinic so they wouldn't have to wait around.

What she did have was a portable monitor that she needed to wear for a week. It would keep a track of her contractions and time them. It was linked back to the hospital and they would be alerted if things seemed unusual. It also recorded the baby's movements, not that they had any concerns about that. It was very active. Despite Lola protesting that it was overkill they set it up to send the data to Riley also, that way she couldn't fob him off.

Iris had left early and Riley suggested taking her home first. "What for? I want to see Pops."

"I know, but how about a shower, a change of clothes and something decent to eat?" He bargained. "Then I will take you over to Pops house."

"A shower would be nice."

"With me?"

"Down boy. Remember I need to stay calm and quiet for a few days, having a shower with you is never calm or quiet."

"Fair point."

"But I'd like to spend some time with just you soon." He liked the sound of that.

"Soon. Let's get through the next few days first okay?"

He cooked breakfast while Lola showered. He did stick his head in quickly, he loved her pregnant body and Lola had embraced it, she loved being pregnant and pointing out all the little changes she noticed. Walking around the apartment Lola would often have just a bra on and her yoga pants, she was always feeling hot and sweaty and Riley never complained. If they went out on the yacht she would happily put on a bikini, it was as much Riley's bump as hers and she felt comfortable putting it on display for him.

Knowing she would struggle to eat he cooked her some eggs on toast and that was it. He'd usually pack some snacks for but he was pretty sure that they would have more food than humanly possible at Pops house.

They were barely been home an hour and she had already talked to Mae. Then Alfie called, Pops was getting anxious and he really wanted to see Lola. He was worried that they were keeping things from him and even talking to Lola hadn't eased his worries. He wanted to see her.

So they headed back. Riley had today off and then had to go back to work. Lola was now on forced leave thanks to Dr Trembath for a week. He didn't want to hear about her lurking around the wards and corridors unless she was coming to see him or having lunch with her husband. _"And he's a resident, he doesn't get lunch.'_

Pops was waiting for her, he was sitting near the window and saw their car pull up. He was out the door in an instant, Alfie couldn't stop him. Reefing open the car door he already had tears in his eyes. "Lola Bear, don't do that to me."

"I'm sorry Pops. It's all okay though, Emu is still tucked up nice and tight. I bought you a video they took last night, let's get inside and watch it."

His hands were shaking as Lola held the phone with him and he watched his great grandchild waving and kicking. "I was so worried about you."

"I know Pops, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to worry. You've got more important things to worry about."

"No I don't, not anymore. You and Mae and Alfie and Iris, I've got you. Gus and Rhiannon, Viv and Charlie that's all I got now. She's gone Lola Bear, I miss her, I don't want her to be gone but she is."

"I know Pops." She slipped an arm around his shoulder and he rested his head on her shoulder. "Hey, someone wants to say good morning." Placing his hand on her stomach she loved his excitement when the baby kicked him.

It was gut wrenching listening to Adam discuss with the minister the plans for MiMi's funeral. He was barely holding it together, he got scared, worried he'd do something wrong, something that MiMi didn't want or like and he got confused. Gus sat with him and tried to guide him but it got too much for him. Iris took him for a walk outside and Lola sat with Gus and they tried to make some firmer plans. They'd still run them by Adam before anything was set in stone.

Once that was done and when people started showing up Riley made Lola go lie down. She was actually grateful for the escape and even though people did ask how she was doing. It seemed everyone had a story about how having a death in the family when pregnant led to all sorts of disasters so they kept the last twenty-four hours to themselves. "Lola is just having a lie down. It was a long few days, she's tired." He wasn't really lying.

Lola wasn't alone for long; everyone went up and checked on her. She tried to grin and bear it and after the first few times she just pretended she was asleep until she felt the hand of the one person she adored. Riley's hand was on her belly. "Your child is being as annoying as you all are." Lola didn't even open her eyes.

"Good to hear." He slipped his hand under her shirt and felt her warm tight skin. "I can't wait to curl up next to you tonight."

"Me either. Although the way it's going it will be you, me, Iris, Mae and Pops."

"We're gonna need a bigger bed." Riley tickled her belly. "Your family…jesus."

"What are they doing?"

"Just making Pops crazy, talking about all the times he drove MiMi nuts. He's loving it." Riley did think it was sweet the way they were making Pops laugh with all the memories they had of MiMi. He knew Lola would love to be there too so he came and woke her up. She had been asleep for a good three hours and she would surely rather be joining in the reminiscing. He didn't want her to feel isolated and left out because that would upset her.

Gus struggled, but he gave the eulogy at his mother's funeral and he appreciated the support of his son, Charlie, Alfie, Riley, Kevin's son, Wil and Jay's son Joey as pall bearers. Kevin and Jay had been a part of their lives for so long. Adam wanted them there. The girls stayed with Pops and flanked him all through the service.

'_Kim, Mom, MiMi, Burgess, Mrs Ruzek whatever you called her it didn't matter. She was all that and more. My Mom lived two lives, one with Dad, and it was spectacular. I mean they had me, oh and my sister Polly. They could not have had two better children if they tried. We are awesome and that's because of them, because of Mom and Dad. Mom kept Dad in line, as best she could and I look at him today and he's proud. He's proud of loving someone for so long, he's proud of their life together and he's proud to see you all here because that's how much his wife meant to you. I can tell you though, not as much as they meant to each other. They just worked, they laughed together, loved together, fought, made up, challenged each other, supported each other, drove each other mad and drove each other wild.'_

_'__And then they lived another life. My Mom never got over losing Polly, none of us did. Dad was beside her though and together they started another life, they had no choice and no desire to do anything else than step up and be everything to four heartbroken children. They did it all again for Charlotte, Mabel, Alfred and Iris. All the while they also were the grandparents that my Viv and Charlie adored. I look at them all now and think wow, they are that good because of two people. My Mom and my Dad.'_

_'__We never wanted to say goodbye. I thought she would live forever because she was that full of life. I never wanted this day to come, but it has. It's not goodbye Mom. It will never be goodbye not as long as there is breath in our lungs. In mine, in her grandchildren's and soon enough in her great grandchild's lungs. And like we kept Polly alive for her children, we will keep MiMi alive for her great grandchild. Say hi to Polly, give her a hug and tell her I miss her. Be happy with Polly Mom and we will take care of Pops for you. The love of your life, your reason for living.'_

"Home sweet home." Riley ushered Lola through the door. It had been a long day and he had stressed out for most of it. There was no way he was going to get Lola to relax today, there just wasn't the chance. Not that she did much but she was on her feet a lot and spent a lot of time talking to the many old friends, colleagues and scattered family that had turned up for MiMi's funeral.

It was starting to thin out and Riley knew the only way he was going to get Lola home was if Adam told her to leave. He had a quiet word to him in a brief moment that he was left alone. The moment Riley asked him to talk to Lola he marched over to her and told her in no uncertain terms that she "needed to go home now. You need to rest, you need to take my great grandbaby home in the peace and quiet and let Riley look after you. I will come see you in the morning."

Lola didn't really argue and it was a relief to get home. "I just want to shut out the world and curl up with you."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I might fall asleep?"

"Don't care, as long as I get to cuddle you both you can sleep."

"I saw you today checking your phone." He had been checking her contraction monitor all day and they were both relieved that everything had settled right down. They had an appointment tomorrow with Dr Trembath and were hoping it would be good news.

"Yep."

"I can't wait to get rid of it." She started untying her wrap dress. "It's stressing me out."

Riley helped her out of her dress and into the shower. Waiting with a towel to dry her off he then wrapped her up in her robe. "You are sweet."

"I've missed taking care of you."

"But you have been, not directly but your minions have been."

"I didn't need to tell them to do anything."

While Riley showered Lola poured him a drink and grabbed some water for herself and waited for him on the couch. Slipping in behind her they both relaxed and felt their little Emu ramping up its late night dance moves. As soon as Lola sat down and relaxed they baby took that as a sign to start up. "How are you?"

"Tired."

"No, how are you? How are you feeling and coping with today?"

"I miss her so much. Listening to all these stories about MiMi today were great but it's cruel isn't it? Why do people wait until someone dies before they tell you how much they mean to you?"

"I don't know."

Lola entwinned her fingers through Riley's and closed her eyes. "Did Alfie talk to you?"

"About coming home?"

"Yes, I told him that he needed to stay but I don't think he's going to listen. What did you say?

"That if that's what he wanted to do then he should do it."

"He can't, he has to stay and finish his study."

"Lola he wants to spend some time with Pops. You can't blame him for that or deny him the chance."

"But Pops doesn't want him to give up his dream."

"Sometimes some things are bigger than dreams. He can always go back to it, he might be able to transfer back here."

"I know, but he's not thinking straight. It's all emotional at the moment."

Riley did agree that it was an emotional decision. "Emotional or not, don't try and talk him out of it if that's what he really wants. It's between him and Pops and I think once things settle down he'll think more clearly but you know how much Pops means to him."

One bonus for Riley in the last few days was Lola wanting to be close to him, even at night she would sleep on her side, facing him and resting her stomach on him. He loved having her close, he knew it was because she felt lost but that was okay, she had these moments and he would take every chance he got to make her feel safe and loved.

Iris bought Pops over the next day. They had already been to the Doctors and Adam wanted to know what he said. He was focussing on Lola and her baby to take his mind off everything else. It stopped him thinking about not having his Kim anymore.

"How's my baby?" He didn't even wait to sit down. Iris rolled her eyes, he had been nagging her all the way over, she was driving too slow, she was late picking him up and Lola would worry.

"Good Pops. Dr Trembath is really happy. No contractions, nothing so we are relieved. Emu's not going anywhere just yet."

"You need to behave yourself now. You need to tell Riley to leave you alone, I mean he can take care of you but not get you too excited."

"Pops." Iris cringed a little.

"What?"

"Can we not talk about that?" She really preferred not to think about her anyone going at it. Some things are better left unsaid.

"I am just making sure my grandbaby doesn't get too traumatised, all that rocking and thrusting and stuff might set it off again."

Iris gagged. "Thrusting, really?"

"Well then how do you explain it?"

"How about not at all, I think we all know what goes on with sex, I don't need your graphic descriptions."

Adam's eyes glazed over. "I loved having sex with MiMi, we were good at it. Not so much lately though but we still did it. It got a bit harder, not me obviously, just generally it wasn't as easy anymore. Two wrinkly old bodies, it wasn't pretty."

"A bit like this whole conversation." Iris had had enough and she got up from the table and went outside. Thinking of two old people having sex wasn't her idea of a good time, nor was it a memory she was desperate to hear.

"Did I upset her?" He turned to Lola who had been trying not to laugh.

"No Pops, you know Iris, pretends to be innocent and naïve."

"Is she having sex?"

"Of course she is."

"Do I need to give her the 'talk'."

"No Pops, you don't." Lola smiled a little wickedly. "But I'd love to see you try."

Riley took her away for a few days. They went out on the yacht, anchored for a couple of nights before heading home and back to work. It was nice to get away from all the crazy, and it had been crazy.

Not surprisingly they had spent a lot of time with Pops. Lola was over there every day and once she went back to work it was starting to take a toll on her as the pregnancy progressed without a hitch.

Alfie had just flown back and things were returning to normal so Riley decided that a weekend of just the two of them was needed. Lola didn't protest, she felt the strain of it all and understood that Riley was getting frustrated as well. He didn't complain but she made it hard for him some days when he tried to get her to slow down a little.

"I'm pregnant not fucking dying." Lola snapped at him when he told her to take it easy.

"Really? Didn't realise. I just thought you'd let yourself go."

"Ahhh fuck off."

"No, I won't fuck off. You are eight months pregnant, you've had one premature labour, it's my baby and I am allowed to worry." He was just as stubborn as Lola was. "So suck it up and get in the car."

Riley had decided they were going home. Lola had been on her feet all day at work and now she was fussing over Pops, even though Iris was quite capable. Adam had been on Riley's side which pissed Lola off even more. She didn't talk to him the entire trip home and eventually spoke when he finally came to bed. He slipped a hand over her stomach, like he always did and snuggled in to her back. "I'm tired." Lola muttered.

"Oh she speaks."

"Don't be an ass Riley."

"Fine." He didn't move though; his hand was still stroking her belly. "Hey my little leopard. Love you."

"I know. The feeling is very mutual."

"You know I just worry Lola."

"I know, I appreciate it. I just get caught up in Pops." Lola placed her hand over his and moved it a little so he could feel the baby moving. "Emu's having a good time."

"Seems like it. It still freaks me out."

"I think I will miss it after the birth."

"Baby, you'll be so tired you won't even have time to think."

"Sounds like fun."

"Hey, talking about fun…." Riley stopped as the baby kicked his hand and Lola grimaced at the force of it. "Wow…steady on Emu." It settled down again. "Anyway, as I was saying. Let's have some fun…"

"I'm tired remember."

"Not here, not right now, although I wouldn't say no…." he kissed the back of her neck "…just so you know but I was thinking how about one last fling on the boat for a weekend? Just you, emu and me. Peace, quiet, relaxation, sex, skinny dipping, eating and doing fuck all?"

"Sounds romantic. A babymoon?"

"Well I like to think of it as a pre-baby fuck fest, but sure Babymoon sounds cute." Riley chuckled when Lola slapped his hand away as it travelled south. "Say yes."

"Yes."

Iris completely wigged out. "What if you have the baby on the boat?" She screeched.

"I am not going to have the baby on the boat."

"You might."

"Well we are both Doctors I am sure we will muddle through."

"Lola Bear…." She whined.

"Iris, just stop. We are going an hour or so, we'll be close to shore. Don't freak out."

Iris tried to get Mae on side and even Adam until Adam told her that they were going away to fuck like rabbits for the last time in years. "Your grandmother was as horny as a goat when she was pregnant. I am sure your mother was too. Leave them be."

"Pops, you disgust me sometimes." Iris huffed.

"Oh get over it Iris, stop trying to be a prude. I know what you get up too." As much as Lola didn't want to hear about her grandparent's sex life the look on Iris's face was worth it.

It was nice to throw the rope and back away from the dock. It was an instant relief and Riley insisted that Lola just sit back and watch him do all the work. She was allowed to make them dinner and that was it, even then he was worried about her down below with the boat rocking and her being very pregnant.

"Did you ever think that first time you bought me out here we'd be back like this?" Lola ran both her hands over her belly. She was stretched out on the bench, propped up with cushions behind her back. Riley was setting the anchor and settling the boat in for the night. They'd sailed about two hours up from Chicago and found a nice sheltered spot to spend the night.

"I was just hoping for a second date."

"And here we are."

"Yep. I was thinking maybe, seeing as it took me two years to get you to agree to a date, that by date five I'd get you into bed." He had always told Lola how desperate he was to sleep with her.

"I wish I'd made you wait."

"Ha, you do not. You loved it." He leant over, one hand on the railing to stabilise himself and kissed her upturned face. "You were screaming my name within minutes, begging for more."

"I was huh?"

"My little leopard. I loved every minute of that first night on the boat, and I'm going to love every moment of this night too." Lola loved his attention. He lavished her with kisses and touches and Lola melted. It wasn't going to be as wild as that first night, there were just things that Lola couldn't do right now but that didn't deter Riley. He urged her to just relax and enjoy.

One thing they could do, quite easily was enjoy the fresh air. Lola straddled him, held onto the railing and let the motion of the boat help her along. "Yeah Baby." Riley buried his head into her chest. "I think you are incredible."

"Hmmm." She rolled her head back. "You feel so good. You fit me."

"I was made for you." There was nothing better than having that beautiful bump squashed in between them. Emu obviously didn't like the sudden increase in movement and started creating havoc by squirming and kicking and they sat back and lifted Lola shirt and watched all the carry on. She didn't have a lot of room left in there anymore and it was strange seeing a foot pushing out like an alien.

"Emu wants in on the action." Riley pushed on the little foot and it pushed back. It was sweet. Lola actually cried as she watched her husband playing with his baby. As much as he tried to be involved in the whole pregnancy it was still very much a thing that was happening around him not to him. "I can't wait to meet my little Emu."

"Daddy."

"Can't wait."

Riley checked the boat while Lola got ready for bed. There wasn't a lot of room down below. Even the first time they were here it had forced them close together because of it. Riley sat up against the bedhead and Lola eased back against him. "So, how are you?" Lola knew what he was asking, it wasn't about how she was physically feeling.

"It's so up and down. I am trying to remember what it was like, you know, back then compared to now."

"And?"

"It feels so different. I feel like I am handling it better."

"Well Lola Bear, you were thirteen you couldn't even process what was happening because your brain wasn't capable."

"I know. It's still different though. MiMi was amazing and I miss her so much and I wanted her to meet Emu desperately but if I had a choice between MiMi and Mom, I don't think I could choose." It was something that had nagged at Lola. She had tried not to think about it that way but it kept invading her thoughts and she didn't want to talk to Adam about it or Iris or Mae because it would upset them but she knew she could talk to Riley without him getting upset at her.

"Don't go there Lola. Don't choose. Admit that you want them both here. You can miss them both differently and equally."

"I feel awful some days…" Lola sobbed. "…some days I really want Mom. It's been so long, I had MiMi so much longer than Mom and I feel awful that sometimes I would choose Mom."

"Oh Lola, that's okay. I think that might be just you wishing and wondering what it would be like to have your Mom here. You know what it was like to have MiMi, she was here for you for so long and I know how much you miss her but your Mom is an unknown and that's what you are craving."

"I'm going to be a Mom soon and I am scared I don't know what that looks like."

"You can be whatever Mom you want to be. A little bit of Polly, a little bit of MiMi and maybe just a bit of Rhiannon and Heidi too." Riley kissed the top of her head as he cradled it. "And I think our Emu is the luckiest Bub in the world because of all those women who helped make you into you." He held her tighter while she cried, clutching handfuls of his shirt. "And you are the woman I love more than words."

Eventually he felt Lola's breath even out, his gentle strokes through her hair and the rocking of the boat lulled her to sleep. He was happy that she was asleep, even if it was for only for an hour. Riley wasn't exactly comfortable but he let Lola sleep. He was surprised that she could with all the action going on. Her belly was against his leg and he could feel the baby moving, it amazed him what she was doing growing his baby.

Riley whistled long and slow when Lola came up top the next morning. They'd eventually made it down to bed, Lola had been refreshed by her nap and thanked her husband for all his support in a way that he loved.

"I could get used to that?" Lola stood on tiptoes and kissed him good morning. "Even though I know you are just being nice."

"Nope, I think you look hot." She was wearing a sarong, tied low beneath her belly and a bikini top. Not only flashing her perfect belly but her boobs were spectacular right now bursting out of her top. "This look suits you."

"Make the most of it. I am not loving it today."

"Why?"

"Little fucker is got a foot jammed up in my ribs."

"Nice language."

Lola suddenly grabbed Riley's nuts in a squirrel grip. "Whoa." He jumped. "Fuck Lola."

"That's kinda what it feels like."

"Not nice."

"No it's not. Your baby is not being nice this morning." Lola let him go and smiled sweetly.

"No, I meant you."

"I love you too." Lola waddled to the back of the boat and tried to stretch out, reaching her arms above her head. "I would kill you for a coffee."

"I am feeling a little unsafe today. I might radio in just in case." Riley was surprised at how angry Lola seemed. She slept okay, or so he thought, they'd had a really nice night and had enjoyed each other immensely.

"Funny."

"Do you want a coffee? One would be okay?"

"I haven't had one yet, I don't need one. This baby doesn't need any more reason to be a fucking gymnast." Lola reached over the side to continue her stretch.

"Can I do anything?"

"Never touch me again."

"Yeah, about that. How about no?" He loved watching Lola sitting on the back of the boat, legs crossed, back straight and eyes closed. She was peaceful and enjoying the sun on her face. They sailed for about an hour and then found a quiet spot.

Once it warmed up a bit she wanted to go for a swim and Riley had to help her down into the water. The sun may have been nice but the water wasn't, it was freezing but she seemed to enjoy it and enjoy floating and the weightlessness of it. Riley stuck close and then helped her back up on deck.

It was the perfect day, Lola spent most of it resting. Riley fussed over her and on any other day it would have been annoying but today she liked it. She had no option but to relax and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Riley enjoyed it too, he liked that Lola was calm, he liked that she made him relax and they enjoyed having time for each other without all the crazy around. They made the most of the uninterrupted hours and apart from the obvious large protruding belly that made itself known at times it was almost like those early weeks and months of their relationship when they couldn't get enough of each other.

The two days felt like forever.


	13. Perfect

It was intense, more intense than they imagined. Both of them had seen women give birth, they'd delivered other people's babies, they knew how these things worked and yet when Lola went into labour all that went out the window.

Lola had gone to bed early. She was two days overdue and was completely over it. It was exhausting lugging around this huge belly with no end in sight. She was hot, cranky, tired and her body ached.

Riley stayed up studying as he was trying to get on top of things so he could have a few days off once the baby arrived. "If it ever fucking arrives." Lola spat at him a week ago, and here they were, still waiting.

"Hey? Can I get you something?" He wasn't surprised when Lola reappeared a few hours after going to bed, she was always getting up to pee or get a drink but she seemed off this time, it was the way she was just staring at him.

"Ummm, my water just broke."

"Huh?"

"Either my water broke or I have seriously just pissed all over the floor."

He leapt out of his seat. "Contractions?"

"Mild so far. Not much only one or two. I woke up with this pain but I thought it was a kick but now my water broke I think it was a contraction."

Lola didn't want to go into hospital until she had to so she asked Riley to check her dilation. There had to be some perks to having a Doctor for a husband. Not that obstetrics was his bread and butter. He guessed she was about 5cm, give or take. It felt weird but Lola told him she'd rather him "…with your fingers jammed up there than a stranger. It's not like you haven't been there before."

"You think they'll take my word for it?"

"No, but I am not going if I am only one or two centimetres."

They spent five hours at home, Lola walked around, had showers and got down on her hands and knees and rocked back and forth until they hit 5 mins apart, they lived close enough to the hospital so it was a short trip when they decided it was time to go. Riley reached that point way before Lola did and she did tell him exactly what she thought of his over anxiousness. Having the baby at home wasn't an option either of them wanted to entertain though. Doctors or not, home birthing their precious baby wasn't going to happen.

By the time that got into hospital things happened quickly. Lola had another shower, the hot water soothed her ragged nerves and aching body. "This is fucking bullshit. Riley make it stop."

"I can't."

"I don't want to do it. It's not going to fit, it's too big and I am not strong enough."

"Hey, you know that's not true. You are strong enough."

Barely an hour later Riley had his hands on his baby's head. Lola had begged him to deliver their baby. She didn't want anyone else doing it. "It's your fucking fault it's in there, it's your fucking fault so you need to fix it and get the fucking thing out."

"Okay, Lola just breathe baby." Her last push had been intense. He was watching his baby's head being born, hoping like hell that his wife was not going to rip in half. "Take a breath, nice and deep and when you get another contraction just a little push and you'll have your baby to hold." The midwife supporting them pulled Lola's gown down ready for her baby.

A short minute later, Riley delivered their son.

He lifted up the bloody slimy newborn and placed him on Lola's stomach. Her hands reached out for her baby as her head fell back and she let out a startling sob. "Oh my god."

"Here's our boy." Riley held him close to Lola. "He's beautiful. God, Lola, look what you did."

She looked at him, his dark hair, eyes squeezed tightly shut and his fists clenched tightly as he protested at suddenly being out of his dark warm home and into the world. "Hi, little man." His mother held him like her life depended on it. "I can't believe you are here."

"You did good." Riley kissed her face all over as she stared at her son. "This is amazing."

"Is he okay?" Lola looked at the midwife.

"He looks good. He sounds good but we will check him out in a few minutes." They discreetly did some obs on him while his parents smothered him with love. When they did take him away from Lola she made Riley go with him. She begged Riley to keep touching him. "He needs to know us."

It was an obsession with Lola. She had heard all the stories about how her Dad had delivered her, that his babies needed to know him and his touch from the start. Riley would have happily not delivered his own child but it meant so much to Lola that he agreed and it had been an incredible experience now that he looked at the little boy and he was here safely. He wanted to support her, the pregnancy had been a rollercoaster from the start with her missing her Mom and Dad, work stresses, her nervousness about being a mother and then the sudden death of MiMi so Riley promised to do whatever it took to make Lola's first moments as a mother one she would always remember.

Riley cradled him gently and bought him back to Lola so she could try and feed him a little. She covered her eyes with one hand when he attached and started sucking and sobbed her heart out. "It's okay Sweetheart." Riley whispered to her. "It's okay. He's perfect, you are perfect. Thank you for my son."

The first person they called was Adam. "Hey Pops."

"Lola Bear, how are you Darlin'? Still pregnant?" He asked the same question every day when she called him.

"No, no I am not. I am sitting here staring in awe at your Great Grandson. He's beautiful Pops." Riley knew precisely when Adam cried, because his wife did too. "He's so beautiful, I want you to come meet him. I will call Mae and get her to pick you up. You'll come Pops, please?"

"Oh Darlin', if Mae can't bring me I'll start walking."

"Don't do that Pops. Riley will come and get you."

"No he won't. Don't drag him away from his son. How is he by the way? Did he do good? Are they both okay?"

"He did really good, both my boys are amazing."

"And my great grandson, what do I call him? Adam?"

"Just wait until you meet him." It was all Lola wanted to do, was see her Pops with her baby. She'd never get to see her parents or her MiMi with her son, her Pops was all she had left and she was desperate to see Adam holding her baby. Even though he was here now until he actually had her baby in his arms Lola couldn't relax.

They called Riley's Dad, it was his first grandchild also and for this little boy the only grandparent he would ever have and then Lola called Mae. "Mabel, I need you to go pick up Pops." Lola started by playfully scolding her. "He's waiting for you."

"What for? What did I miss? He didn't say anything yesterday." They all took it in turns to run errands for Pops or take him out. He was lonely without MiMi and they worried about him and made sure he was the centre of their world.

"Well he didn't know yesterday that he needed to come meet his great grandson."

"What the fuck? When? Oh my god Lola, tell me." Mae didn't actually let her sister get a word in. "Is he okay? When, how?"

"I think you know how it happens but he's about two hours old, he's perfect, he's beautiful." Lola stared at her little boy safely sleeping in her arms, he'd fed a little and then drifted off to sleep. "Hey Monkey, I love him so much."

"Oh." Mae dissolved into a flood of tears and Lola wasn't much better. All she had done since he had arrived was cry. Riley just kept handing her tissues. "I can't wait to meet him. I'll go get Pops now."

"He's getting impatient. He just messaged me to ask when you are coming. He's dressed ready to go."

"Hey Lola Bear, congratulations. I love you."

Adam was waiting on the doorstep for Mae, clutching a bag tightly. He just about leapt off the step when Mae pulled up. "Pops, slow down."

"I'm fine Mabel, don't nag."

When they got to the hospital Mae messaged Lola and Riley met them at the lifts. They were going to let Adam go in to meet Lola's baby first. "How's my beautiful Lola?" he asked after hugging Riley.

"She's good, she's really itching to see you. Go in. I'm gonna go get us a coffee." He tugged on Mae's arm. She was disappointed, she just wanted to meet her nephew but Riley explained that Lola wasn't doing so well, she was a little emotional and really wanted Adam to meet their son first.

"Can I come in Lola Bear?" Adam knocked on the door and as soon as Lola saw him she burst into tears. "Hey come on now. Don't cry Darlin', this is a good day for us."

"I miss them Pops, all of them. I wanted them here to meet him."

"I know." Sitting down on the chair beside her bed, Lola gingerly got out of bed and picked up her sleeping son and placed him in her Pops arms. "He's so beautiful Lola."

"We've called him Sam."

Adam wiped a tear from his eye. Sam hadn't been his son but he loved him like he was. He had been the perfect husband to his precious daughter and a wonderful father to his grandchildren. Having his great grandson in his arms was surreal and it finally felt like something good was happening for him. It had been a hard few months for Adam and the thought of meeting his great grandchild kept him going on days when he just missed his wife and daughter.

He told Lola to open the bag he bought with him. "There are a few things in there for you. From MiMi."

"Oh." Lola wasn't ready for that. She pulled out the blanket. She knew about this, it was the blanket that all the baby's in the family had come home wrapped it. MiMi always kept it and had Adam had asked Rhiannon to wash it ready for Lola's baby. She held it against her cheek. "It's so soft, I can't wait to wrap Sam in it and take him home."

"Your mother went home in that."

"I know. It's so beautiful."

Inside the bag was a few little presents that MiMi had picked up along the way, she had been buying things since the day Lola told her she was pregnant and Adam had teased her about it but now he was glad she had, it was nice that Lola had something from MiMi for her baby. She pulled out a little silver money box and looked at her Pops. "That belonged to your mother."

"It's beautiful Pops. Are you sure you don't want to keep it?"

"No, MiMi wanted you to have it. She kept it for so long, waiting for this moment. When you told us you were pregnant it was the first thing she told me she was going to give to you. She was so excited. I wish she was here to meet him." Adam squeezed her hand.

"I miss her Pops, today especially."

"Me too." Adam looked at the little boy in his arms. "She would love him so much. I remember when you were born, they called us early in the morning and your Mom had been in labour for almost 24hours and we had to wait until lunchtime to meet you and it just about killed MiMi waiting, she didn't care about anything else that day except Polly and you."

Riley struggled to keep Mae away from more than ten minutes. She fired off a million questions and kept on at him about names and Riley told her they hadn't decided but she didn't believe him.

"Aunty Mae is here." She declared barely waiting for Riley to open the door. "Where is this nephew of mine?" She hugged her sister briefly before pulling up a chair beside her Pops who was still cradling the tiny bundle. "Oh he looks like Dad."

"Hey Sam, you want a cuddle from Aunty Mae." Adam stroked his cheek, his old wrinkled finger relishing the newborn skin.

"Sam?" Her eyes shot towards her sister. "You called him Sam?"

"We did. Do you mind?"

"Mind? It's perfect. He's perfect. MiMi would be beside herself." Mae blubbered as she rested her head on Adam's shoulder and held little Sam's finger. "Hi, my sweet sweet little Sam. I'm going to look after you. If your Mom and Dad are mean to you make sure you tell me, I'll sort them out for you."

Riley had wrapped his arms around his wife as they watched Adam and Mae with Sam and he knew she was happy but it was an emotional day. He stood back and let Adam comfort her when he finally handed Sam over to his Aunty. Mae smothered him with kisses. "Oh I love you so much already. You are going to be as amazing as he was, I'm going to make sure of it." She leant in close and whispered to the little boy "Promise me you'll be a good man. I need you to be a good man."

They called Alfie next. The first thing he saw on the video call was his Pops with the baby. "Hey Alfie. Did we wake you?"

"No, I was up. About bloody time."

"I hear you."

"So?"

Riley zoomed in on his son so that Alfie could get a good look at the baby. "It's a boy."

"Well that's a little bit awesome. A nephew for me to teach all sorts of bad shit too."

"Say hello to Samuel Ruzek Hollister Whittaker." They had decided to give him Ruzek as a middle name because they thought about Adam but that made him sound like a beer so chose Ruzek instead.

Alfie was quiet for a few seconds and when he spoke they could hear his voice shake a little. "Hi Sam. I can't wait to meet you. Hey Lola Bear, you did good sis." Alfie would be home soon. They tried to talk him out of coming home but Alfie was adamant that he wanted to spend a bit of time back in Chicago with his family and truth be told they were all looking forward to having him back too. The only compromise was he would finish off this semester, so he would be back in a couple of weeks. He was worried constantly that something would happen to Adam before he got here, he couldn't go through that again. "He looks good? He's good?"

"He is. He was born about four hours ago, Riley did the Dad thing. We love him so much, he's just perfect. I can't wait for you to meet him. Hurry up Alfie."

"Let him meet everyone else first, save the best for last."

Iris came in as soon as her class finished, he was asleep in his cot. It had been a big day for him and Lola had got a few hours sleep throughout the day. The buzz was wearing off and it was catching up with her. "Oh a baby. I can't believe I am an Aunty. Aunty Iris. I feel old."

"Pick him up Bug." Nervously Iris slid her hands under the tiny bundle and grimaced a little when he grunted and squirmed in her hands. "Do you like his name?"

"What is it?"

She had been so enamoured with staring at him she didn't notice the name tag on his cot and it was a little obscured by the little Emu that sat in there with him. She looked at the tag. "Oh you didn't?"

"We did."

"I love it." It was different for Iris, for her their Dad was just photo's, videos and stories. "Hi Sam." She didn't remember them, as much as she tried. They were never part of her life in any tangible way, her siblings kept them alive for her but she never remembered what they felt like when they hugged her, kissed her or comforted her. Her grandparents were more like her parents than anything and everyone was okay with that. Well as okay as they could be. Iris's bond with her MiMi and Pops was probably the strongest of them all, even if they adored all of them.

"You did good Sweetheart." Riley was cuddling his son once the visitors had all finally left. It had been a bit of a whirlwind. Riley's family had come in, his Dad and his sister. Gus and Rhiannon stopped by to meet little Sam and Heidi and Hudson had stopped by with Andrew. They were grateful when visiting hours were over. They loved showing off their son but it was nice to finally get some time alone with him.

"I'm tired. I am sore, I feel like my insides are on fire."

"Sounds pleasant."

"Yet I am oddly okay with all that." She smiled. "He's worth it." Lola asked him to come sit with her and he bought Sam over and he slid an arm around her shoulders and let Lola rest her head on his shoulder and they touched their little boy, their little Sam and he felt so good and right. He was perfect.

"Oh Sam." Lola touched his soft cheek. "I am in awe of you."

'_Welcome to the world little man. Lola and I are ecstatic to announce the safe arrival of our beautiful son. He has stolen our hearts already, he's perfect., all 7lbs 10oz of him. From his dark hair to his perfect little toes, Samuel Ruzek Hollister Whittaker is too perfect for words. So here's a photo. Our hearts are overflowing."_

Gently she lay him on the bed. "Hush now." She cooed at the crying baby. She did up the buttons on his little white jumpsuit. "We are going home Sam. Isn't that exciting? Dad needs to hurry up."

Riley had taken her bags down to the car and all the gifts they had received. He had taken home bags of them yesterday and was surprised there was more today. They had stayed a day longer than they hoped but Sam was having a little trouble getting the hang of feeding.

Lifting him gently she kissed his forehead before strapping him safely into his car seat and tucking the soft family heirloom blanket over him. "There you go." Lola talked to him all the time. She loved him more than she thought possible and for the two whole days Sam had been in their life they now found it hard to imagine not having him.

"Okay, my little family. Let's blow this joint."

Riley lifted his car seat, grabbed Lola's hand and they started their journey as new parents. "Is it locked in right?" Lola fussed as he clipped him into the car.

"Sweetheart, remember you made me practice for hours one day?" Riley chuckled. "He's locked in, now get in the car." He grabbed Lola's hand and helped her into the car.

"Home sweet Home baby boy." Riley got him out of his car seat and handed him to his mother, swaddled in his blanket and they sat down on the couch and just loved him. "This is our home."

"Shit's about to get real isn't it?" Riley ran his hand over his soft dark hair. "I'm shit scared to be honest."

"Oh me too."

"You look so happy with him."

"I am happy but I am a little sad too."

"I know. You know what? I can't wait to take him to the zoo."

"I never thought there would be another Sam Hollister at the zoo."

"I love how brave you were calling him Sam." It had been something they had discussed very early on, what to name their baby. They had decided that they didn't want to know what they were having but they had found out at her 32-week scan. The sonographer had accidently announced that 'he' was doing exactly what 'he' should be doing. Deciding to keep it to themselves they could at least narrow down some names and once Lola knew she was having a little boy she asked Riley if they could call him Sam.

"Is that what you really want?"

"I do, I don't know why but when they told us it was a boy, I just thought of Sam. It scares me though."

"Why?"

Lola was worried that people would hate it, that her parents would hate it although if they were here it wouldn't be an option and she was worried that it would upset her family. "What do you want Lola? It's your baby, it's your boy, your son."

"I want to call him Sam."

He bent down and kissed her protruding stomach. "Hi Sam, I can't wait to meet you my sweet little boy." They kept it to themselves though, every part of Lola's pregnancy was shared so it was a bit of fun for them to keep everyone guessing. Mae figured out that they knew and was constantly trying to trip them up. They were meticulous though, one day they'd call him 'he' and the next day it was 'she'. It completely wigged Mae out several times and she went on a rant on a few occasions.

Now he was here and they couldn't imagine calling him anything else. He was their little Sam. It was nerve wracking going to bed for the first time, he slept in their room and they had gotten used to his grunts and groans and random squawks through the night in hospital but it felt different when you were all by yourself.

They both woke when he did and Riley would get up and change him before giving him to Lola to feed. He was feeding better and Lola had gained some confidence in her ability to be a mother. She knew it took time, that they were both learning about breast feeding but when you had a crying baby and you were tired and emotional all that knowledge just evaporated. Lola felt overwhelmed and appreciated Riley's support. He let Lola learn about taking care of her baby and took care of everything else, he was taking being a Dad in his stride better than Lola was feeling about being a Mom. He admitted though that it was all an act and he worried about everything he did, everything Sam did and how Lola was coping. He was out of his depth but just had to put on a brave face because he didn't want Lola to be disappointed in him.

He loved cuddling Sam and every chance he got would hold him. Being a Dad was an amazing feeling, he found it hard to describe looking down at this tiny boy in his arms and the feelings he had for him. He couldn't understand how men could walk away from their own children. This little boy was part of him, he was innocent, a blank canvas and he wanted to show him the world.

He loved seeing his boy in the arms of their family, he loved watching Adam with him. He was an old man, more the 90 years separated him and Sam yet he made Adam feel young again. It made him determined to make the most of his time with his great grandson, he would talk to him and tell him stories about his great grandmother and grandmother and Sam would watch him, he was so alert and looked wise beyond his tender age. It was beautiful. Riley admired this man; he was incredibly strong and determined and he was a family man. He adored his family.

"I can't imagine the pain you went through when you lost Polly."

"I'm still going through it. Everyday." Adam was watching Sam as he slept in his arms.

"I look at Sam and I want to be with him all the time. I want to protect him and I never want to see him hurting. Like Lola is hurting."

"Riley, don't live in fear of what might happen. I had more than 40 years with Polly, I wanted more, so much more but I didn't get it but I wouldn't have changed anything. Well except how it ended. Everything you go through with them makes them who they are, the shit moments, the good moments are all part of it. It is also part of Lola, what her mother went through made Lola who she is, losing her mother is part of who she is and that's why you love her, because of all that, that's her."

"I do, with all my heart. I love watching her with Sam, it's beautiful. She looks so happy with him."

"She is happy." Adam wiped away a stray tear. "I've always wanted her to be happy, since that terrible day I've waited to see the light in her eyes again and I see that when she is with you and you both have Sam now. Thank you for bring her light back."

"Adam, thank you for raising such a beautiful girl, thank you for having her mother, for raising her so that she could have such a beautiful daughter." Riley rarely talked to Adam about Polly. "I'm a lucky man."

"Of course you are, you are loved by a Ruzek woman, but I am biased."

The best part of his day was coming home and Lola and Sam were waiting for him. He was growing and changing every day. Lola was doing an amazing job and they sometimes just sat and watched him. People told you your life would never be the same once you had a child and they believed it, it was just hard to fathom how much it changed as you fell more and more in love with them every day.


	14. The Worst Kind

**_Mabel Elizabeth Ruzek Hollister_**

Mae had no idea what to do. She stumbled blindly from her apartment, the voices and sounds still ringing in her ears. Jumping in her car she drove, heading in one direction and then suddenly changing her mind and turning the car around. Her mind might have been a jumbled mess but she knew she couldn't do that to him, she was worried about how he would react.

Her courage almost failed her but she had to plough on. She needed help. That's all she knew; she couldn't do this by herself and she had to get help.

Knocking on the door she had to make herself stand still, usually she'd just walk in but for some reason she couldn't. She wanted to run, to hide away so nobody could see how stupid she'd been. She hated herself right now.

"Oh My God, Mae. What happened?" Her sister shrieked. Lola grabbed her arm and pulled her into the house. "Mae, what happened? Are you okay?"

"No, I didn't know where to go."

"What happened? Lola was shaking as much as her sister was. She led her through to the lounge and sat her down. "Let me look at your face." Hooking her finger under her chin she got a good look at her sister's face.

Her left eye was swollen and blood trickled from her nose. "Mabel, talk to me. Who hurt you? Who did this to you?"

"I had to leave. I didn't know where to go. He hit me."

"Who? Rick? Rick did this?" Lola shrieked and Mae cringed a little at the shrillness of it.

"Yes." Admitting it felt like the hundred pound elephant sitting on her chest had been removed, it had been such a shock to her the first time and it came out of nowhere. Today had also been out of the blue, all she had said was that she forgotten to pick up his beer on the way home. It had completely slipped her mind. She had a big event coming up and the client was being a little demanding and she had been consumed with those thoughts and before she knew it she was home and hadn't remembered to stop. "He hits me."

"What do you mean he hits you? How long Mae? How long has this been going on?" Mae literally shrank away from her sister when Lola started screaming questions at her and demanding answers.

"Not long." Her voice was quiet and Lola barely heard her.

Lola checked her eye, she pressed gently around her eye socket and felt her nose. Jumping up she grabbed an ice-pack and her phone. "How long Mabel?"

"Only a couple of times. I was shocked, I didn't know what to do…" the tears didn't stop coming. "…I didn't know what to do Lola. He hit me just after MiMi…." She couldn't even finish the sentence. She couldn't cry and talk and breath at the same time.

"Oh my poor baby girl." Lola held her sister while she sobbed. Rocking her lightly. "I'm going to take you to the hospital and get you checked out okay?"

"I am fine."

"You are not fine, I am getting you checked out and I am calling Gus." Lola leapt up and started packing up some things for Sam so they could get going. She was pretty sure that nothing was broken but her mind was not going to rest until she'd seen the x-rays and she had no idea what else to do and she had to do something.

"No."

"Yes, he's not getting away with this. I'll fucking kill him."

"No Lola, let me just fucking breath for a moment."

Lola was having none of it though. Mae came to her for help and she was going to do what needed to be done, not just hold her sister and tell her it was going to be okay. This was not okay. "No, Mabel, No. This is not happening, not to you and not to us."

"It's not happening to you, it's happening to me."

"You know the deal." Lola replied sternly. "He hurts you; he hurts all of us. This is how it is, this is how it's always been. One in all in."

They were interrupted by Sam's baby monitor. Lola disappeared to get him before he really started crying and told Mae to stay put, she was worried she was going to bolt as soon as she left the room. She literally ran upstairs and got him and came back and gave Sam to Mae to hold, if she had Sam she wouldn't move. Mae adored her nephew and as soon as she held him the tears started again. "I didn't know what to do."

Lola sat beside her and slipped an arm around her shoulder. "I am glad you came here. We will help you."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? This is not your fault Mae, I'm only sorry I didn't know and that you felt so alone and didn't think you could come to us for help and I am devastated that this happened to you. You don't deserve this."

"You'd just had that scare with Sam and I didn't want to stress you out, all we knew was that you need to stay calm, this wouldn't help and I didn't want to hurt your baby. We needed him to be okay and then once you'd had him, I didn't want to ruin it for you. I'm sorry I am ruining this for you."

"Mabel, you haven't ruined anything. I would have helped you." Lola could understand why she felt that way was horrified to think that Mae had put herself in that situation and put up with it because of her.

"I'm scared Lola, what if he comes after me, he will know I am here and I don't want you to get hurt." She tried to hand Sam back to her, she wanted to bolt. "I shouldn't have come here."

"No Mae, he's not going to hurt you and you are not going anywhere. You are staying here with us."

"I'm scared what this will do to Pops, I am scared he won't be able to handle it. I am worried about what Gus will do, Alfie is going to be pissed. I felt so alone." She sobbed. "I hate myself because I feel like I've let Mom and Dad down."

"How?"

"They taught us never to put up with shit like this. They would be disappointed with me for letting this happen."

"You were scared and that's okay Mae but you are here now and not going home. Where is he now?"

"I don't know. I left him at home." Technically she wasn't living with Rick but they had been together for more than a year and he spent most of his time at Mae's place and he had always seemed nice. A bit of a firecracker and he could be abrasive but he seemed like a genuine guy, he was a builder by trade and worked hard. He never gave the impression that he was abusive towards Mae. They were happy, or so everyone thought.

"Okay. I will get Gus to go over and get you some things."

"Lola, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You haven't let anyone down, you certainly haven't let Mom and Dad down, they'd be proud of you sitting here right now, getting the help you need. We will sort this out Mae."

After feeding Sam she took Mae into the hospital for some x-rays. Mae had sat with her, holding Sam's little hand while he fed and she closed her eyes and tried to breathe. Lola wanted to talk but Mae needed a moment to let everything that had transpired in the last few hours sink in. When she woke up that morning never in a million years did she think they'd be here.

Lola messaged Riley before she left home and said that she was bringing Mae in so he was waiting for them. When Lola replied to his message with the reason why he called her but she rejected the call. "You can talk to Riley Lola"

"I am not sure you want to hear his response. He'll be pissed."

He was waiting outside the entrance. "Hey Mae, let's get you inside." he kept calm despite his shock at seeing her face and was smart enough to know how to act so as not to scare Mae. He took Mae through and she was given a room and seen right away. The privileges of having a Doctor or two in the family.

He had tugged on his wife's arm and made her leave them for a bit when the Doctor's came in to see her. He might have remained calm with Mae so as not to frighten her but he was anything but calm with his wife. "What the fuck is going on?" He demanded an answer.

"She just turned up. I had no idea. I can't believe this."

"This is Rick yes?" Lola just nodded.

Riley hugged his wife. "That fucking piece of shit." Mae was their priority but he knew how much this was going to hurt Lola too. "Have you called Gus?"

"Not yet. Mae is worried about upsetting everyone." Sam was starting to fuss in her arms, he didn't like it when people got upset, he could sense when his Mom was upset. They had taken to parenting like a duck to water, it was hard, relentless and time consuming but they were loving Sam. He was starting to interact with them a little more and they loved it. He'd been in their lives for five weeks and he had completely turned them upside down.

"Well that's going to happen, this is Mae, she's been abused. Everyone is going to be angry and upset, this can't happen again." Riley had always been insanely protective of Lola and her sisters. He adored them and he promised Alfie before he left that he would take care of them. He'd known from very early on that loving Lola meant Mae and Iris also. They were kind of like a package deal '_love me, love my sisters.'_

"Calm down. Mae doesn't need us losing our shit."

"Oh, I am going to lose my shit, if I see this fucking asshole."

"Stay out of it Riley, Sam and I don't need you going off all half-cocked. Let Gus handle it." This is why they had a cop in the family. Sure he wasn't on the beat, but he had contacts, he would get this sorted.

Mae was going to be discharged, she had no fractures but they did take photos and she needed to talk to the police before she left. They argued that they would do it at home, but too many women had walked out of an Emergency Room and never reported it. They'd turn up again and again and nothing changed until they were bought to the morgue.

Mae agreed to let Lola call Gus, if she had to talk to the cops she wanted Gus with her. "Hey Lola Bear." He chirped, "How are you? How's my little Sam?"

"Growing like a weed." She took a deep breath. "Gus, I need you to come to Med."

"Is it Dad?"

"No, it's Mae. She's been abused."

"What? What Lola? What are you talking about?"

"She turned up on my doorstep a few hours ago. Rick has been abusing her. I didn't know." Lola was desperate and Gus could hear that in her voice. She just wanted to get Mae home. "They won't let us go until she has talked to the cops. Gus can you come please?" He promised he'd be there shortly, he was halfway out of his office already.

Two patrol officers were already in talking to Mae when Gus arrived. Lola was with her, holding her hand. Riley had taken Sam upstairs with him while he finished off his patient records. Lola had just fed him so he was pretty relaxed and sleepy and the department secretary had him out of Riley's hands in an instant.

Mae looked at their Uncle and burst into tears as she buried her head in her hands. "I'm sorry Gus."

"Hey Monkey. It's okay." He kissed her forehead. "It's okay." Turning to the two patrol officers they both recognised him and greeted him with a 'sir'. They were rookie cops, they often go to these calls and they knew Sergeant Ruzek from the Academy, where he had worked for the last ten years.

"What's going on?"

"Just getting some details. We'll be picking him up shortly."

"And?"

"We'll have a chat but it seems pretty cut and dried."

Gus wasn't satisfied, he knew how this was going to end. He'd get a slap on the wrist and let go. Free to do this to the next woman. He was the lowest of lows. It angered him even more when Mae admitted that he had first hurt her not long after MiMi died. He was apparently sick of her crying. He'd been drinking and she had been stunned. The next time was just after Sam was born because she was late home and he'd cooked dinner for her but Mae had stayed longer at Lola's than she anticipated. She felt like she couldn't tell anyone. This was the final straw though, she knew she had to get out and get help because she was scared it was going to end with her in a body bag. He had become increasingly violent in a short space of time and that terrified her. She was worried her family would get hurt if he came looking for them. He'd know Mae would go to her sister's place and he knew where Lola and Riley lived.

They let Mae go home with Lola. Gus would meet them at home, he wanted to make a few phone calls on the way and didn't want Mae to hear it. He was angry, he called Rhiannon first and told her he'd be late home. "Are you okay?" She could hear the stress in her husband's voice; stress and anger.

"Not really. I've been at Med this afternoon, with Mae."

"What's wrong with Mae?"

"Fucking Rick's been abusing her."

"Gus, don't joke about this."

"Darlin' I wish I was."

Rhiannon gasped. "Is she okay? Where is she?" It couldn't hurt them more than if it was their own daughter. Rhiannon, particularly had been close to Mae ever since she had helped her navigate puberty. Lola had her mother for some of it but Mae had nothing so Rhiannon stepped up without giving it a second thought and they had stayed close. This hurt her and Gus knew that it would.

"She's with Lola, she's taken her back to her place." Rhiannon left Charlie at home; he could look after himself. She wanted to help Mae and she needed to see her.

"Why don't you go have a shower?" Lola wasn't sure what to do. Mae didn't want anything to eat or drink. "It might make you feel better."

"I'm okay Lola." But she did appreciate the shower and Lola gave her some clean clothes to wear. Luckily they were about the same size usually, Lola was still carrying a little extra weight from the pregnancy and she wasn't rushing to lose it.

Lola sat down to feed Sam while Mae showered, she was up there a while but Sam was fussy and taking forever, he liked routine and his day had been disrupted so he fussed a little. It was the last thing Lola needed right now. It was like Sam was trying to get his Mom to take a breath by having a long feed, she had no choice but to let him do it in his own time. When Rhiannon came barrelling in wanting to know where she was Lola sent her upstairs.

"Monkey?" She knocked lightly on the door of the bedroom. "Can I come in?" Mae didn't answer but she heard her crying and went in anyway. She was sitting on the bed and looked utterly distraught. "Oh Mae, my sweet sweet girl. My heart breaks for you." Rhiannon tried not to gasp when she saw her black eye and swollen face. "My sweet little Mae."

"I guess Gus told you?"

"Yes, I am so glad he did. You need me."

"It's funny, you feel so helpless but I knew that all I had to do was ask. I just didn't want to disappoint anyone. We've been through so much, so much and lately it's been tough you know. And then there is little Sam and we needed happiness and I didn't want to ruin that."

"You are so precious." She kissed the top of her head as she lay it on Rhiannon's shoulder. "Now is the time to worry about you though."

"I don't want Pops to know."

"Mabel, you know that can't happen, we can't keep this from him, that will upset him even more. You are his precious little Mabel. You will always be his little girl and he'll want to be here for you."

"I don't want to worry him."

"He's going to worry, that's what he does. It will upset him more knowing you are going through this without him."

"I've let him down, I've let Mom and Dad down and I've let Lola and Bug down."

"How?"

"Because I put up with it, tried to hide it."

"You were scared, you are still scared." Rhiannon always had the ability to calm Mae. She was kind and gentle and her heart was breaking for Mae right now.

Lola came up to let her know that Gus was here. He was currently downstairs cuddling Sam, he couldn't wait until he was a grandparent, although Viv was only twenty one and too young to be a mother but it was something they looked forward too, especially since Sam was here. Lola did tell them that she thought of him and Rhiannon as Sam's grandparents. He was a lucky boy, he had Gus and Rhiannon, Heidi and Hudson and Riley's Dad, Dan looking out for him. And Adam, his amazing great grandfather.

They decided to call Iris, she was bringing Adam over in the morning like she always did on a Saturday and he would spend the day with Lola and Sam. Lola sent her a message and asked her to come to dinner, she told her that Mae was coming over and they were making a girls night out of it, with Sam of course. Mae had accosted him from Gus and unless he wanted his Mom for a feed Lola let her cuddle him.

Gus would bring Adam over in the morning, he wanted to be there when Adam found out, he felt that he would need a strong hand to get him to calm down but they left Mae in the care of Lola and Iris, they needed each other right now.

Mae was curled up on the couch with Sam when Iris arrived. She bounced through the door, kissing her big sister and demanding to see her nephew. "Where's my Sam?" heading into the lounge room she stopped on a dime. "What the fuck?

"Language Bug." Mae tried to make a joke. "Think of the baby."

"Fuck that, what happened to your face?"

"Things went a little pear shaped today. Come sit down." She patted the couch beside her. Iris did as she was told and Lola took Sam from Mae's arms. She knew what Iris was like, she was going to throw herself at Mae and crush him. "I've been having some trouble with Rick."

"He did this?" she screeched. "He did this to you?"

"He did."

She leapt up, flinging her arms wildly. "Where the fuck is he? I'll fucking kill him."

"Iris, Bug…" Mae tugged on her arm and made her sit down. "…Gus is looking after that."

"Wait Gus knows? Who else knows?"

"Just Gus and Rhiannon. I came here for help and Lola took me to hospital. I am going to be fine but I am going to stay here for a bit." Lola had insisted that Mae stay with her. She had gone over to her place quickly with Gus and they had grabbed some clothes and things for Mae while Rhiannon stayed with her.

"Oh Mae, why?"

"I don't know why, I don't know. It happened a few times, just lately and I was scared. MiMi had just died, Lola didn't need the stress and worry because of Emu and then Sam arrived and everyone was so happy." Mae felt like she had repeated this story so many times, it was exhausting. "It's complicated."

"It's not complicated Mae, this is not okay."

"No, no it's not."

"I can't believe you didn't tell anyone, I can't believe you are blaming Lola."

"I am not blaming Lola."

"So if she hadn't had that scare you would have said something, so if she didn't have Sam you would have said something. You are blaming Lola."

"Just stop it Iris, stop it. You've got no idea what this is like. I don't need this." It was Mae's turn to leap out of her seat. "I don't need you to make me feel worse than I already do. This was a mistake." She fled upstairs and Lola was pissed at Iris.

"How could you?" Lola turned and spat at Iris, she thought she'd be upset but she didn't think she would react like this. "She needs our support not our judgement. That's your sister and she's been through hell. She was scared that she'd let us down, that she'd let Mom and Dad down and you carry on like this."

"I'm sorry. I just don't understand why she put up with it?"

"Try asking her that, rather than blaming her." Lola was angry and Sam was picking up on that. "This is not Mae's fault and I am pissed that you seem to think it is."

"I don't think it's Mae's fault."

"Really? That's not what it sounds like from here. I suggest if you can't get on board, go home."

"Lola, I'm sorry. I didn't expect this."

"Neither did I? I didn't expect to open my front door and find Mae bleeding on my doorstep. Thank god she came here and not to you."

Iris burst into tears and Lola regretted being so harsh. She was just stunned that Iris reacted the way she did but then again Iris had the tendency to speak first, somewhat irrationally and then regret it. Sometimes they forgot that Iris was still so young. Lola apologised. "I know this is a shock, I'm a little stunned as well but Mae needs us, all of us. Go talk to her."

Iris didn't even knock on the door because she didn't want Mae to tell her to leave. She was curled up on the bed and Iris curled herself around her. "I love you Mae, so much. I'm sorry, I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry you were scared. I want to help you, please."

"It's okay Bug. I'm still coming to terms with it myself. I never thought this would happen to me, I never thought it would happen to anyone I loved."

"I'm sorry I said that, I really want to help you. Tell me what to do?"

"Right now Bug, just stay here with me."

"I'll stay all night." They eventually came down and had dinner, not that Mae felt like eating much and Iris did stay and shared Mae's bed. Some people found it weird that they could happily share a bed with their sister, but for them it was nothing out of the ordinary. They had started it when their world fell apart and it was always something they came back to when shit went down.

Lola was in bed when Riley came home. He crawled in quietly and hadn't been surprised to see Iris's car in the driveway. Instantly she rolled over and he felt her tears on his chest. "Oh Lola Bear, I'm sorry I wasn't here for you tonight."

"It's okay. We had a girl's night."

"I saw Bug's car. How's Mae?"

"She's okay, quiet and still trying to get her head around it. Iris was a bit emotional and didn't handle it very well to begin with."

"This is a big thing for someone Iris's age to deal with. It's a big thing for anyone to deal with." Riley had been going over and over things in his head. "You know, the day MiMi died he made some comment about how long he had to stand here and be a bloody doorman, he also said that he was surprised Mae was so upset, that she was old so this wasn't a surprise. I think I told him that it didn't matter how old she was, she had been a huge part of her life after her parents died. He kinda shrugged and rolled his eyes and commented that he knew, 'she keeps going on about her parents' I didn't think much of it, I thought he was just being a dick and then that shit went down with you and Emu and I didn't give it a second thought. Maybe we missed the signs."

"It was after that that he apparently hit her for the first time. He threw a box of tissues at the back of her head. She'd asked for them and it wasn't just a lob, she said the next thing she knew it slammed into the back of her head. He apologised, said it slipped but Mae threw it back at him, it didn't hit him but he flew at her and shoved her into the wall."

"I feel guilty that we were so wrapped up in Sam that we didn't notice."

"Mae didn't want us to know."

"I know, still feels like shit though."

Lola did know how it felt, she felt like shit too. "The second time was after Sam was born. She was late home, she'd been here and he kicked her, like he left a footprint on her thigh. She spilt his beer once and he punched her in the leg, leaving this massive bruise. This was the first time he hit her in the face, he lost it because she forgot his beer."

"Fucking piece of shit, he wouldn't want to show his face anytime soon. So Gus?" She could feel him getting worked up and she laced her fingers through his.

"Dealing with it, I am not sure I want to know."

"I have faith in Gus."

The little grunt from the corner broke the heavy conversation. "How is he?"

"He's been okay, a little fussy but he's a sweet boy. He's had lots of cuddles."

"Lucky boy." His soft gentle strokes of her hair was calming. "How are you?"

"I don't know. Why Mae? I just can't get my head around it."

"No rhyme or reason. She's got this amazing mob behind her though."

"Gus is bringing Pops over in the morning."

Riley held her a bit tighter. "Pops will be okay, he's a tough bugger."

When Sam woke Riley jumped out of bed, despite having only been asleep less than an hour. He missed his boy and even though he'd just feed and go back to sleep those little minutes with him meant the world. He loved everything about him. Suddenly he felt the weight of the world on him. It was his job to make sure he raised this little boy to be the type of man that knew how to treat people and more importantly treat women. He'd be devastated if he raised a boy that mistreated anyone the way this piece of shit had treated Mae.

Riley was in the kitchen making himself a coffee, tucked into his arm was Sam. He was chatting to his boy, telling him exactly what they thought of his performance last night. It had been a rough one. Sam had been awake on and off since 3am, Lola fed him again at 6am and literally pushed them both out of the bedroom so she could get some sleep. They feared they were hitting his six week growth spurt a touch early. If he could hold off until they were through this latest upheaval that would be great but Sam didn't seem to care about any of that. He was on his own schedule, one that changed daily and they just had to figure it out.

"Good Morning." Mae came down quietly.

"Hey, how'd you sleep?"

"Well Bug is a pain in the ass. She's still sleeping." Riley made her a cup of coffee and slid it across the bench. "I heard Sam a few times."

"His mother doesn't love him at the moment, hence why we are down here. How's the face?" Riley used his free hand to lift her chin a little so he could have a good look. The asshole had done a number on her.

"Throbbing beautifully. I've just taken some Advil." Riley handed Sam over to his Aunt while he made her some toast. "Is Lola okay?"

"She's worried about you and she's really upset that you got hurt and that she didn't know what was going on."

"I didn't know where else to go or what to do."

"Hey." Riley leant over the bench and squeezed her hand. "Mae, she is glad you came here, we both are. She wants to help, but you are hurting and that hurts her as well. You guys are as thick as thieves and she wouldn't have it any other way."

"What about you? How do you put up with us?"

"When I fell in love with your sister I knew it came with all this. You love someone for everything they are, and she's your big sister and this is who Lola is. It's just the way it is." He slid the toast across the bench. "and you know, I kinda like you guys."

Sam let out a sudden grunt. He was sick of being ignored. "Ah sweet boy, am I ignoring you?" Mae looked down and smiled at her nephew. "He's so beautiful Riley."

"Most of the time, he wasn't beautiful at 3am when he lost his shit, or 430 or 6am." He shrugged. "We love him though."

"Bug was like that, we used to tell them all the time to send her back. She's still fucking annoying at night."

"I hope he sorts his shit out soon. We are not quite ready to give him up yet but he pushes his luck some days."

"He is what we needed."

"Any time you need Sam to cuddle just let us know. He gives good cuddles."

Riley took an herbal tea and some toast up to his wife and grabbed a shower. "Where's Sam?"

"With Mae. He's offering some advice." Lola closed her eyes. She was going to sleep until the very last minute. "Stay here for a bit. I don't have to leave for another hour."

Gus picked up his Dad and bought him over.

Mae was nervous, out of all of this telling her Pops worried her the most. Iris finally showed her face and was making hay of a rare moment when Sam wasn't being monopolised by Mae. She was kneeling over him on the floor trying to make him smile. He just loved attention and was trying hard to smile but hadn't quite managed it yet.

Adam saw it the moment he walked in. "Mabel, tell me this is not what I think it is."

"I wish I could Pops."

"What the actual fuck? What the fuck is going on, why didn't I know about this? This is fucking unbelievable." He turned to Gus angrily. "What the fuck are you doing about this?" Adam was pissed.

"Dad, just stop a minute. We are handling it."

He looked back at Mae who was sitting with Lola who was cradling her head to her chest as she cried. Adam made his way over to his granddaughter and Lola let Adam take her place. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how Pops."

"How long Monkey?"

"Oh Pops, just a little while. Not long."

"I'm glad MiMi's not here to see this. This would break her heart, it's broken mine." He was handling it better than they thought it would but that comment broke Mae completely and she lost it. Her Pops held his poor hurt little girl, she would always be his little girl, they all were.

He let her go for a while and gathered his muddled thoughts. Everyone was surprised at how well he had taken it so far. Until he asked Mae for the details.

"When did this start?"

"Just after MiMi died." She admitted.

"What? What do you mean? That was months ago Mabel, what the fuck were you thinking…"

"I know, I was scared. I was surprised."

"You know better than this, you know there is never just one time. Why the hell didn't you tell someone?" Adam started ranting. He was getting more and more agitated and Mae was struggling. Gus tried to step in.

"Stay out of it Angus."

"Dad." He refused to back off. "Enough. Mae knows all this, this isn't helping. What's done is done, let's just sort out what happens next."

"It's not done. Mabel, my granddaughter has been abused for months and none of you noticed. I mean I'm old and dumb now but you…" he pointed at Lola and Iris "…you are her sisters, what the hell were you doing while this was going on." This wasn't expected. Adam going off at them for what happened to Mae was not where they saw this going.

"Pops, don't. Don't blame Lola and Bug, they didn't know. I kept it quiet. This is the first time I couldn't hide it, the other bruises…" her voice hitched in her throat. "…the other bruises were easy to hide. I was scared Pops, I'm still scared. It's not Lola's fault, I didn't tell her, it's not Bug's fault. It's his fault, he did this to me. It's not my fault." It was raw pain from Mae and it made everyone take a breath. "I need help Pops; I need help. I need you."

"Mabel, my darling girl. Of course it's his fault, not yours, never yours." He held out his arms and she fell into them. "I'm sorry. Don't worry about me I am just old and grumpy. I will help you; I will always help you." He promised her. "I need you to tell me everything."

Lola left them alone to talk and dragged Iris upstairs with her. They gave Sam a bath and Iris asked if she could do it, Lola showed her how to hold him and both Iris and Sam loved it. He loved floating and his jerky legs and arms splashed about. He also managed to pee, almost hitting Iris. "Oh Samuel, that's just not on." Iris adored him, she was obsessed with him and made Lola send her a photo or video every day. "Boys and their penises, no sense of direction."

Scooping him out of the bath she wrapped him in his towel, she was so gentle with him. "You aren't going to grow up like that are you Sam, I won't let you. Your Mommy and Daddy won't let you." She kissed his head and he squirmed. "You are going to be a superman, like your Daddy, like Pops, like my Daddy. I wish he could see you Emu; he'd make you amazing. He'd love you so much, like I do, I love you Emu."

Lola hadn't had much of a chance to talk to Iris now she had calmed down. "How do you feel Bug?" She handed her Sam's diaper and a little cotton vest to put on.

"I don't know Lola Bear. I guess I don't really understand and I don't want to sound like I blame Mae or am disappointed or anything, but why did she put up with it? That sounds awful doesn't it? What would you do?"

"I don't know Bug; I'd like to think I would get help the first time but I just don't know anymore. I thought Mae was like that too and I guess when you are in that situation things are different…" she shrugged. "…harder perhaps?"

"Does Riley ever like get angry at you or hit you or hurt you?" Iris's hand was resting on Sam's round little belly and Lola covered it with hers.

"No, he never hits me or hurts me, never. We get angry at each other sometimes, all couples do, all relationships have some element of disagreements and arguing, that's just being human. He never raises his hand to me, he never grabs me too hard, he never kicks me, he never throws things at me."

"I'm glad Lola."

"Not all men are like Rick, Bug. The majority are not. Mae just wasn't lucky this time, I think next time she will be."

"How do you know?" Wasn't that the million dollar question? How do you know? Sometimes it was obvious and yet other times it was completely out of the blue. This was out of the blue which no doubt made it harder for Mae to process.

"I wish I had the answer, I don't know Bug but I have to believe it."

"How did you know with Riley?"

"It's a matter of trust, a lot of luck, a leap of faith and that's about it. I didn't know but I took a chance and some days that's all it is." Lola rubbed her back. "Trust your gut, Bug. You've just gotta trust your gut."

"Will Monkey be okay?"

Handing Iris Sam's clothes she chuckled a little as Iris struggled to get him dressed, he was squirming around and Iris still thought he was made of glass. Lola reminded her that if she was waiting for him to stop squirming she'd be waiting a long time. If he was awake he was moving. "With this mob behind her, Monkey's going to be okay."

"Dad." Gus was trying to get Adam to calm down when they came back downstairs. Mae was happy to sit with Lola while she fed Sam. Gus had taken Adam outside when he started upsetting Mae, demanding to know what Gus was doing about this asshole. "You are not coming with me."

"You can't stop me." The old man was angry. "He hurt my Mabel."

"I know, but I don't know what he's going to do. Trust me Dad, please. I don't want you to get hurt and I know Mae will never forgive me if you do."

"But she's hurt. Look at her." Adam cried angrily. He was shaking uncontrollably and Gus was worried about him. He worried about his Dad constantly. "I can't stand this. I need to do something."

"Dad, step back. I am not taking you with me. You need to stay here with Mae, that's what you can do and I promise you I will take care of this asshole."

"Angus." He snapped.

"Dad, she's going to call Alfie in a little while, I think she will appreciate you are with her. You know Alfie isn't going to be happy."

Mae was delaying the call to Alfie. She fussed around and did anything but sit down long enough for them to call her brother. Adam got sick of waiting and called Alfie anyway.

"Hi Pops. How are you?"

"Well I am not good Alfred. Why would I be?" Alfie didn't miss the pissy tone of his Pops voice.

"What's up?"

"Well your sister has been abused and Angus won't let me do anything about it."

"Whoa, hey back up. What's going on? What are you talking about? Who's been abused?" Alfie had no idea what was going on? Pops was being frustratingly vague.

"Mabel, come here." Pops yelled, looking at someone off camera. They hadn't realised that Pops had called Alfie already.

Alfie was shocked to see Mae's swollen face. "Holy fucking hell, Mae. What the fuck is going on?"

"That asswipe Rick did this to your sister Alfred."

Adam was clearly pissed off with everyone. Mabel, Angus and Charlotte had all copped his wrath so far today and now it was Alfred's turn. "Pops." Mae rested her hand on her Pops arm. "Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down Mabel."

"Mae, what's going on? Is someone going to tell me what's going on? Or do I have to fucking guess?" Alfie tried to get it back on track. He didn't need to hear Mae and Pops arguing he needed to know what was going on.

"I'm obviously having some relationship issues." She pointed to her black eye in a half assed attempt to lighten the mood.

"Relationship issues." Adam scoffed. "That's one way of putting it. I'd say fucking asshole boyfriend hit your sister, not once but three times Alfred, for months now."

"What?" Alfie was still struggling to get his head around all this.

"I forgot to buy his beer."

"He's a fucking asshole piece of shit. You better hope Angus actually does something or I will." Despite his age there was no doubting that Adam would have been a forced to be reckoned with on the job, he still was.

"Gus is a Ruzek Pops. I think he's got this." The last thing anyone needed was Pops to try and sort it out and Alfie told him as much.

"He better Alfie, he hurt my Mae." Alfie did notice that Pops had called him Alfie, up until now it had been all Alfred.

"I know Pops. Let me talk to Mae for a bit." Mae took the computer upstairs to talk to Alfie without the whole world chiming in.

"I'm sorry about Pops, he's a bit pissed."

"So am I Mae. Please tell me you are okay?" Just because he wasn't ranting and raving like Pops was didn't mean that Alfie wasn't massively pissed off. He didn't know what he could do about it right now.

"I'm okay, a bit bruised. My pride has certainly been dented."

"You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"What happened?" Mae went through it all again. She was getting better at talking about it. Alfie was calmer than she thought he would be, but he was pissed and he was going to talk to Gus very soon. "Hey Mae, come out here. I'm here for three more weeks, come spend some time with me away from everything and everyone." Alfie was coming home, like he promised he would when MiMi died and he was just finishing a few jobs off and packing up. Having Mae come out would be good, she could help him. Her organising skills far exceeded his and it would be good for her because he knew how intense Lola, Iris and Pops would be.

"Tempting."

"I'll pay for you. I really want you to come here so I can look after you." Alfie begged. Mae tried to tell him that he didn't need to look after her, she had plenty of people to do that. "Yes, but they will be over the top, come out here. Let me do this for you. I couldn't stop you getting hurt…"

"Alfie you couldn't have stopped this."

"Maybe I could have. This is my job Mae, to look after you all, that's what I tell Mom and Dad all the time."

"Alfie…." Mae sighed. "…I can't wait to see you."

"So you'll come?"

"I will." Telling the others was going to be fun.

Alfie got hold of Gus a little later that night. "I'm not surprised to hear from you. I've heard from everyone else. How are you?"

"Well I'm a bit pissed to be honest. I've had Pops calling me Alfred all day."

"I'm getting Angus….a lot."

"What do I need to know?"

"We've arrested him, he'll will be charged. Unfortunately we haven't been able to charge him tonight.." Gus laughed a little awkwardly. "…so he has to spend the night in the cells. Sad for him. In all honesty Alfie, he's not going to get much."

"Why the fuck not?"

"It will be considered low end."

"That's bullshit."

"Yes, yes it is. Look he had a rough car trip in, he resisted arrest so I am told and his cellmate wasn't particularly welcoming to his new overnight guest. That's all you need to know."

"Okay." Alfie knew not to ask too many questions. The less he knew the better, he didn't agree that it was low end, just because it was his sister but he understood the law and they had to make sure charges stuck and sometimes that meant that you didn't always get the charges you wanted. "Hey, I want Mae to come out here for a week or so, is that okay? She doesn't need to stay for anything does she?"

"No, it should be okay. He will be bailed to appear at a later date. Perhaps it's better that she's out of the country in case he decides to be a bigger fucking asshole than he already is. He trashed her place so we are going to head over and clean that up, I've had the locks changed already, we will chuck any of his shit on the street."

"Piss on it first."

"Now now, Alfred." Gus chuckled. He'd had a similar conversation with his Dad. "You are sounding like a Ruzek."


	15. Brother of Mine

Mae couldn't wait to get off the plane. For one she was sick of people looking at her. Her bruising had been brutal and while it was fading she couldn't hide it, basically because she didn't want to sit on a plane for 30 hours with a face full of make-up. The little old lady beside her had kept eying her off and close to the end of the flight she finally asked Mae if she was okay.

"I am thank you."

"Going home?"

"No, I am going to visit my brother. He is packing up to move back to America and I've come out to help him. You know he's a bit useless with organising, he's a bit male."

"Looks like you could do with a break too."

"I'm looking forward to seeing him. I am sure he's got a list of jobs as long as my arm for me to do."

"You need to take it easy."

"Thank you, I really am fine. Bruises fade."

"That they do, I hope the other scars do too." She patted Mae's hand. "They take a little longer." Without Mae having to tell her what had gone on she seemed to know and Mae appreciated that she didn't pry.

Alfie was waiting for her, arms open wide. "Hey Monkey Mae-Bell. It's so good to see you."

"I am surprised you are here on time."

"What? Me?" He pretended to be shocked. Leaning back he checked his sister out and he didn't like what he saw. Obviously he'd seen her bruises over the computer but seeing her in the flesh was a whole new kettle of fish. It got his blood boiling again, nobody hurts his sisters. "This hurts me Monkey."

"I know but you have no idea how happy I am to be here."

He grabbed her bags and led her back to his car and it wasn't until they were safely inside and heading home that Alfie finally stopped the small talk. Mae had filled him in on the flight, her food, what she watched and anything she could think of so as not to talk about the real reason she was here. "So, Mae how are you really? What the fuck went on?"

"You know what Alfie, I don't know. I don't understand it; it was out of the blue. It's like he snapped. Up until them he wasn't a bad guy, a little rough around the edges but he never, not once did he hurt me and then that day happened and I didn't know what to do or think." Mae had been kind of dreading the conversation but it was stupid to hope that Alfie wouldn't want to get into it straight away. She had wanted to come; she was excited to get away and be here but this she could have done without the third degree. It was never going to happen though.

"I was right there Mae, I was home. I know you didn't want to upset Pops and Lola, but I would have helped you." Alfie felt both guilty and angry that he was so close and he didn't know what was going on.

"I know. I wish, with all my heart that I had come to you. I know you would have known what to do. You would have done something and perhaps that scared me a little too."

"I would have fucking knocked into next year."

"Yep, I know."

"It was bad enough once Mae, it was the other two times that killed me."

"Alfie…." She pleaded. "…don't please. It's been a long flight, I'm tired, it's been a tough few weeks. Can we talk about it later?"

"Sure." He shrugged, obviously annoyed. "Sure."

"Hey, I'm here because I want to be." Mae took a swig of her water bottle to settle herself. "Are you going to take me to the zoo?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course we will be going to the zoo." He laughed at Mae's not so subtle change of subject. He wasn't surprised, they had plenty of time to talk about the real reason she was here.

"Good. I can't wait."

"It's pretty amazing. It's like Dad is still there. You'll love it."

"I went to Lincoln Park the other day, I just sat under the tree, it was nice." Mae stared out the window and sounded a little wistful. "Nobody hassled me, nobody wanted to talk to me, tell me what I should be doing or thinking or feeling. It was just me and Mom and Dad."

"It's weird huh? Sometimes I do that. When I got back here after MiMi died I just found myself sitting under the tree and everyone just left me alone."

"I am so glad you planted those trees Alfie, you saved us so many times." You couldn't count the amount of times one of them had been to visit those trees over the years. It didn't matter if they were happy occasions or sad occasions they'd all been there. "I can't wait to sit under that gumtree."

Mae hadn't been to the Zoo for years and she was excited. They had spent the night catching up on everyone else and they didn't really talk about Mae's problems, she wanted a break from it for a bit. It had been intense at home, Lola and Iris had kept on about it and checking up on her and she felt suffocated some days. Lola flipped out one day when Mae turned her phone off and disappeared for a few hours, she needed some space and it had been an ugly when she finally got home. They got over it, but Mae knew she couldn't stay with Lola for long and she moved back into Pops house the day before she left.

Mae and Alfie fell into their groove though and they had a few drinks and laughed a lot. Mae also filled Alfie in on how everyone was really coping without MiMi and spent a lot of time talking about Pops. He loomed large in their lives, more so now than ever, he was the centre of their universe. MiMi had been their captain but Pops was the person who plotted the course and kept the boat afloat.

Mae did ask him about his love life. "Nothing happening." Alfie shrugged. He had recently ended a relationship because neither of them were that interested in long distance. It hadn't really bothered him too much, going home to Pops was what he needed to do and while he was happy he wasn't 'in love.'

"Nothing? How can you have nothing happening?"

"I'm leaving the country in two weeks time, I don't know when I will be back so what's the point."

"How many broken hearts are you leaving behind?"

"None." He winked. "At the end of the day they are all grateful that they got a little bit of Alfred Hollister love."

Mae just laughed. "You are full of shit."

The Zoo had changed so much since the last time she had been here. Mae had relaxed for a few days at home, did some packing for Alfie and sold off some of the stuff he wasn't taking home. She had no idea what he would have done if she wasn't there. The day he was taking her to the zoo Mae was up before Alfie had even dragged himself out of bed. She cooked him breakfast before they left each morning and he was starting to like having her around, he could really get used to it. He had breakfast cooked and dinner ready when he got home.

The Managing Director came to meet her. While Alfie was an employee first and foremost and he didn't get special treatment as far as doing his job was concerned but he did get bought out when the occasion demanded it. When one of the family came out he became less Alfie the Zookeeper and more Alfie, the son of Dr Sam Hollister. For a while Alfie considered being known as Alfie Ruzek because he thought he might get special treatment but he'd proven himself to be a smart, hardworking, caring and enthusiastic worker and the Hollister name didn't really get him anywhere. His hard work and attitude did.

"Welcome Mae, it's lovely to meet you." Hamish Vizard introduced himself. "Alfie tells me it's been a while since you were here last?"

"It has been a few years. I can't wait to have a look around. I love this place." Mae was genuinely happy to be here. "We spent so much time out here, we ran around like lunatics most of the time."

"Well make yourself at home." He handed Mae a security pass. I'd love for you both to join me for lunch but for now I have animals to feed." That was something that her Dad had insisted on when he started this place, that everyone got their hands dirty. He always was out checking on the animals, helping out when needed, mucking out stalls, feeding when needed, including hand feeding. Their Dad did it all and it was nice to see that model still existed. Hamish had worked with their Dad very briefly but he knew how much he put into this place. "I'll leave Alfie to show you around. Maybe he can put you to work."

"I don't do animals…unless they are cute, little and need a cuddle."

"Ah the fair weather daughter of a zoologist." Hamish chuckled and then left them to it. Alfie showed her around, introduced her to a few of his colleagues and then he noticed that Mae was a little freaked out. Sheldon, one of his colleagues took a little too much of a shine to Mae and she didn't like it and he told her to go visit the tree. Mae just squeezed his hand, she adored her brother, he had always looked out for her, for all of them.

Sheldon had reached for Mae, almost instinctively when she stumbled getting out of the buggy. It wasn't intentional but he did hang on to her a little too long. "Are you okay? How bad will I look if I let the VIP fall face first in the dirt." He was flirting with her and Mae took a second to realise what was going on.

"Yes." She pulled her arm away. "Thank you." Turning to Alfie she pleaded with him with just a look to help her. It was that moment that Alfie realised how deeply Mae had been hurt. She'd brushed it off a few times it had come up, telling him she was fine, it was a learning experience and she was tough as nails because that's who she was raised to be. She wasn't going to let this beat her. In that moment though he knew it was an act, she was hurting; she'd been hurt, damaged and had her heart broken as well as her trust in men.

"Is your sister okay?" Sheldon watched her take off. She couldn't get away quick enough.

"Yep. She's fine." It wasn't Alfie's place to share Mae's reasons for being here but he really didn't want Sheldon to hassle her or think he'd done something wrong. He was a nice guy, they got on well and often went out together on weekends. Alfie liked him and knew what he was like, they were both very similar people, they loved to flirt but at the end of the day knew how to treat people and more to the point right now, women. "Look, she's here because she's needs a bit of time to get her head straight. Just give her space."

"Sorry Man, I didn't mean to step on anyone's toes."

"You didn't. We didn't know how she would react, I think I know now. She'll be right."

Sheldon did see her under the gum tree when he went to get a coffee. Alfie had told him about that tree when they first met so he wasn't surprised to see her there. He took a punt and bought her a coffee. "Peace offering." Mae took it despite not drinking coffee, it would be rude to say no. At times Mae had learnt to just thank the person and hang onto it and ditch it later.

"You didn't need to do that, but thank you."

"Alfie told me about this place. I must admit when I first started here I didn't know the story behind any of it and why he was here. He's a great guy. You must miss him."

"I do, we all do." Sheldon didn't sit down and Mae appreciated that he kept his distance.

"We will miss him. It won't be the same here without him. I really enjoyed working with him. He could pull the 'do you know who my Dad is card' but he never has, not once."

"I'm glad, we'd slap him silly if he did. My Pops would." Mae laughed and Sheldon liked it. She was a beautiful girl and way out of bounds, her brother had made that very clear. "I tried to talk him out of it, but he wants to come home and be around Pops. I can't blame him for that."

Sheldon took a mouthful of his coffee. "Hey, sorry about earlier. I hope I didn't upset you."

"No, I just…." Mae didn't know what to say. "…it's just…"

"Mae, it's okay. Enjoy your coffee, I'll see you round." He turned to leave and Mae called out to him.

"Thanks Sheldon. I appreciate it. I am sure I will see you again before I leave."

They had lunch with Hamish and the Director of Perth Zoo also came out. He knew their Dad and Mae loved hearing stories about him. Alfie had heard them all but some of them were new for Mae. They also enjoyed listening to the plans for the Zoo going forward and Mae was impressed at how switched on Alfie was. It was nice to see him working, he was making her proud and he would be making their Dad proud.

"You okay Monkey?" Alfie asked her as they walked back to the car. "You had a good day?"

"I did. It was so nice to spend the day out here. I get why you are coming home but surely you are going to miss this." Mae nudged him playfully. "You are like a king here."

"Yeah, not really. I just miss Pops and you guys more."

"I know." Mae flung her bag in the back seat. "Hey Sheldon came and apologised. What did you say to him?"

"Dickhead." Alfie grumbled. "Nothing, just that you were here to get your head on straight. What did he do?"

"Nothing. Bought me a coffee and apologised."

"Ha, did you have to drink it?"

"No, I thanked him and tossed it when he was out of sight." Mae scoffed. She couldn't even pretend to take a sip, she detested coffee. "He told me how much he loves you though. I think he has a crush."

"Well I am loveable."

"Meh…" Mae chuckled. "….sometimes."

Alfie changed his tone and Mae knew what he was talking about, they had avoided it mostly so far but time was running out. "I was a bit worried."

"It shocked me, like how I felt, I was shocked. I'm scared Alfie that I am always going to feel this way now. All I could think about was, is he going to hurt me. That's fucked right?"

"Yep, a little. We are not all bad guys Monkey. There are a shit load of good ones, but hey, take your time, there is no rush to put this behind you. I didn't like that you were freaked out but I do kinda like that you are figuring out how it's affecting you rather than burying it."

"When did you get so wise?"

"It's in the blood." Alfie winked at her and he liked that Mae smiled.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Take you time Monkey, that's why you are here, to get away from that and find your feet. I know you, this knocked you for six and I get that, but I also know that when the right guy comes along you will fall in love again and he'll be the right guy for you."

"I hope so."

"You know, you could get back on the horse, have some fun and then blow the country." Alfie knew he was pushing it; it was a little too soon. Her bruises had barely faded but he did think it might be good for her, some random sex could heal some wounds.

"Thanks, but no."

"Just checking. I mean I can be your pimp."

"Fuck off Alfred."

"Right…so that's a no?"

They did have some fun though, Alfie took her out to meet some of his friends and even caught up with Sheldon again a few times. He was a nice guy and he was sweet to Mae and she did start to think about what Alfie said, it could mean nothing but perhaps that wasn't fair to Sheldon.

Sheldon liked her, that much was obvious and he thought she was a lot of fun and her and Alfie bounced off each other. They were hilarious together and it was the best thing that Mae did. Coming here had helped her, she felt lighter, she felt happy and it did help her put it behind her.

Yet one night she fell apart. Alfie had been waiting for it, almost hoping for it and then it came. He got home from work and she was freaking out about something. He wasn't really sure what but she was unpacking a box that she had already packed. "What's up?"

"I can't find it."

"Find what?"

"Your book, I can't find your book. I think I threw it out, I don't know. I need to find it." Mae was shaking. They all had one, the book of their Dad's blog and it was a treasured possession.

"You didn't throw it out." Alfie tried to get her to stop but Mae pushed him away and started to tear her way through another box. He disappeared into his bedroom and came out with the book. "I've got it Mae. I was looking at it last night."

"Oh…" she just dissolved into tears. Alfie knew it wasn't about the book, that was just the trigger. He sat on the floor and pulled his sister into his arms. He cradled her head to his chest and told her it was okay and how much he loved her. She clutched handfuls of his shirt and sobbed her heart out.

"You didn't deserve this Mabel, this is not you, it doesn't define you but it will make you even more beautiful. You are like fucking steel, I love you so much, you helped make me better. I wouldn't be here without you and Lola and Iris. I feel like I let you down." Not only Alfie, but he had talked to Lola and Iris about it, they had been in constant contact wanting to know how Mae was doing. They all felt guilty that nobody noticed that Mae was going through something like this on her own. For a family that prided itself on their closeness and unique bond it was a bitter pill to swallow that they didn't see their sister's suffering.

"You didn't Alfie."

"I know, but I feel like it some days. When I see you like this I think of all the things I could have and should have done. If I'd stayed I could have stopped it."

"The only person who could stop it was me. I should've walked away the first time. That's what I was taught to do."

"What you were taught to do was love with your whole heart and do what's right for you."

"And I didn't."

"No, you did, you didn't want to hurt Pops and Lola and in that moment that was right for you."

Mae's tears started again, not that they had really subsided. "It hurts so much Alfie."

"I hate seeing you like this, I'm glad you are here though."

Mae worked hard to move on and it was nice to be with Alfie when they had a going away party for him. It took her mind off everything else. She loved hearing stories about him and how much they were going to miss him. The zoo named a newborn Zebra after him which was really lovely thing to do and he got a bit emotional when he gave a speech.

_'__I've loved every single minute of the past six years, it was a dream of mine from when I was just a little lost boy. I felt at home here but there was always something missing. My family. We haven't quite done it right, it's been a long tough road and it's time to spend some time with the man who took me under his wing and finished the job my Dad started. My Pops is getting old, we lost our grandmother recently, my sister has a new baby, I need to be with them for a while._

_It has been a privilege to come back to the Perth Open Range Zoo and work and learn and watch it grow. There are so many people to thank and I have hopefully thanked everyone of you personally. I have appreciated the support, I appreciated that my name didn't give me a free pass and I do hope I have earned the right to bear the Hollister name. My Dad worked hard to build not only this place but his reputation and sometimes it feels like a burden that I need to ensure that reputation isn't tarnished. It's a burden I love to carry though. It's an honour to carry on his legacy and it's been an honour to do it here._

_The past two weeks I've been able to share this place and my last days here with my sister. Thanks Mae, I think we helped each other a little. Love you lots Monkey._

_Thank you. It's goodbye for now, not forever. This place is in our blood and we will be back.'_

He was also surprised when Mae got up and said a few words.

_"__I know you think I am stealing him back, and to tell you the truth I am. We've missed Alfie. Kinda strange I will admit that we want our brother back so he can annoy us but we've always been a little bit weird like that. _

_Thank you for taking care of him, it's been so nice to be here and see how loved and adored he is. He's a special guy, he's been our strength for so long. We are proud of him, of who he is, what he's become and it's been amazing to walk around the place that our Dad made and see Alfie continuing his work. _

_I recently had a bit of a rough trot that shook my faith in love and also in men. He said to me, Mae, there are good guys in the world, most of them are good guys and you know what, he's right and he knows because he is one of the good guys, he's one of the very best. I'm sorry we are stealing him back for a bit, we'll take care of him I promise and one day you can have him back. Maybe."_

Sheldon sought her out a little later in the night, most people had gone and Mae was alone for a moment. "Nice speech. You've done that before."

"Once or twice."

"I wish we'd met at a different time."

"Oh, I don't know. I think that maybe this is just what I needed." Mae saw the disappointed look on his face. "Maybe not what you necessarily wanted though hey?"

"Oh I don't know. I'm glad I met you, I'm glad I met some of Alfie's family."

Mae kissed him. She had no idea what made her do it, and just as quick as she stepped forward and kissed him she stepped back again. Sheldon was just as shocked as Mae had been. As she stepped back he reached for her hand and pulled her back in, holding her hand down at their side and kissed her again. Mae felt herself responding as the kiss lingered.

Suddenly she pulled away and leant her head on his chest. "I'm sorry. I can't do this."

"Mae." Hooking one finger under her chin he tilted her head up. "It's okay. That's enough."

"Thank you."

"I would never make you do something you didn't want to do. It's okay." He sighed, still stroking Mae's chin. "Just so you know, I've really liked getting to know you. I wouldn't change anything."

"Really?"

"Well maybe, one thing." He kissed her cheek. "I hope you healed a little bit." Alfie had eventually told him why Mae was here and what she was dealing with. He felt like a dick for trying to flirt with her but Alfie assured him it was okay and maybe a good thing for her to deal with. She was going to have to face it at some point, she was a beautiful girl and there would always be some guy trying to crack onto her. That she could dip her toe back into that pond under Alfie's watchful eye was hopefully a good thing.

"I did. I really did and maybe if it was a few weeks or months down the track things could be different."

"Bugger."

Alfie saw it all unfold. He waited a few moments before sneaking up behind his sister and wrapping her up in a bear hug. Mae knew it was him without looking. "Alfred."

"You okay?"

"I am. I am good. This is great, they love you."

"Why wouldn't they? You know what Mabel. I love this place, but I love you and Lola and Iris and Pops more." Mae laughed with him. They were both a little tipsy. "But how are you? I saw you with Sheldon."

"Of course you did. I'm good Alfie. It was a nice moment, but that's all it was, a moment and I don't want any more." Mae shook her head.

"You little heartbreaker."

"I hope not. I didn't mean it." She felt a little guilty, she didn't want Sheldon to think she was a bitch for leading him on. It wasn't her intention.

"Sheldon's a tough cookie. He'll get over you."

"Nice."

"You needed it. Perhaps it might help." Alfie kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you came Monkey Mae-bell."


	16. Work Life Balance

"Who are they from?" Lola looked up as Mae came through the door. She had been living with Pops for the past two months, she wasn't quite ready to go home yet. They had moved her out and put her place up for rent after Rick had trashed it. Gus, Rhiannon and Riley had cleaned out her place, tossed all Rick's stuff on the street, unfortunately in the middle of downpour and Gus made sure Rick got the message. Mae had asked him what he said to Rick and Gus just kissed her forehead "Enough."

In the end Alfie took her place, when he came back he didn't last long living with his sister's again. They drove him nuts but he saw Adam as much as he could and usually had dinner with them three or four nights a week.

"She got some last week too." Pops added unhelpfully.

"A secret admirer?"

"Not so secret and a bit dumb too." She put the flowers in a vase, ignoring the pair of them. Instead she made a beeline for the little ray of sunshine on his mother's lap.

"Hey Sam, how's my little bit of heaven." He was just finishing off a feed and smiled at his Aunt with a mouthful of nipple and milk dribbling down his chin as Mae tickled his toes.

"You can have a cuddle if you tell me who they are from?" She wasn't ashamed to use her son as ransom.

Mae flopped down on the couch beside her and sighed. "His name is George and he's persistent I will give him that." George had made it very clear that he wanted to get to know her personally. Initially he had been very professional but the more they interacted the more interested he became.

"Is he hassling you?" Adam was ready for a fight. He didn't get the chance to give Rick a piece of his mind so he'd settle for the next joker that came along.

Mae just laughed. "Calm your farm Pops."

"I don't have a farm Mabel."

Lola loved that both Mae and Iris were currently living with Pops, although if you asked him he did not love it, which was a lie. "I found tampons and condoms Lola Bear." She had barely got through the door that morning and he was on her case. "What's that about?"

"Well Pops, Mae and Iris are women. You know how these things work."

"But condoms Lola Bear. Mae is not seeing anyone and Iris is too young."

"She's almost 21 Pops and has been seeing Lewis for months now. Do you think they just hold hands?" Lola handed him Sam for his cuddle. She bought him over one day a week and they spent the day together. Adam adored him and Sam must have known because he always was on his best behaviour for his Pops. He always had a smile for him.

"Doesn't mean she can slut it up."

"Iris is not slutting it up. She's having fun."

They didn't love Lewis, Adam tolerated him and Iris insisted that they weren't serious, just two young kids having some fun. He treated her well enough but Adam didn't like that he was constantly telling her that he wasn't here for a long time, just a fun time. He didn't want Iris to settle down too quickly but he would have preferred someone for her that wasn't just in it for the sex.

"I'm too old for this shit."

"Yes you are. So sit there and talk to Sam."

Mae had been happy to sit back and let everyone else get on with things. She threw herself into work and that kept her busy and she loved spending time with Lola and Sam. While they had initially thought she'd have three months off work, she had taken another two months off. Riley had been given a chance to participate in a short research project and they knew it was the best thing for his career to take it.

"He is the marketing director of a company we are organising a few functions for. It's strictly professional but he's nice."

"So, what's the problem." Sam finished his afternoon snack and was happy to go see his Aunt. He was full of smiles when he had a full belly, he gurgled and chanted and was just full on cute right now.

"I thought Rick was nice too."

"Rick never did anything nice." Lola did up her top and started to pack up Sam's things. "Has he asked you out?"

"Rick the Dick." Adam reminded them of his proper name or at least the name Adam always referred to him now. Nobody was left wondering what Adam thought about Mae's ex.

"Thank you Pops." Mae sighed. "A couple of times. We've had coffee…" she saw the look on Lola's face, that little look of excitement and added quickly. "…it was a work meeting."

"Mabel, you can't hide forever."

"Says the woman who blew off Riley for two years."

"I didn't blow him off."

"Yeah right." She looked at Sam. "You're Momma's a liar Emu, she blew your Daddy off so many times. It's lucky he didn't give up. Then we'd have no little Emu to love."

"So therefore, don't do what I did. It's a waste of time."

"Thank you Yoda."

"Just sayin'." Lola shrugged. Mae was going to do it her way.

"On the other hand, treat him mean keep him keen hey Emu?" Mae cooed. "That's what your Momma did to your poor Daddy and look at him now. He was soooo desperate." Sam was chatting back, he loved it. He loved attention and got plenty of it. "He had to take her out on a boat with no chance to escape to pin her down." Mae chuckled as Adam sighed. "And pin her down he did, good and proper."

Adam had heard enough and he struggled to get up out of his chair. Age was suddenly catching up with him in the past few months, but he still refused to slow down. Alfie had been shocked that a couple of months had made all the difference and he was glad he came home.

Alfie knew that being away felt like what he needed to do for himself in the beginning and he would go back but being home felt right too and for now he needed to be here.

Lola laughed as Adam stormed from the room and then turned back to Mae. "Just have dinner with him, nothing has to happen."

"Lola Bear, this coming from you who went out for lunch with Riley and ended up screwing him on his yacht that night."

"Mabel Elizabeth Ruzek Hollister." Adam yelled from the kitchen. "You are not having sex in my house."

"Pops, chill. I'm not going out on a date with him and if I did, I wouldn't bring him home. You'd probably barge in and drag him out by his pubes." Mae scoffed. "Imagine that. Imagine the poor guy finding out I live with my cranky old Pops and my sister. He'll run a fucking mile anyway."

As much as she was trying to make a joke out of it, Mae was struggling to put Rick behind her. When you put your trust into one person and they let you down it was hard to bounce back. They'd had years of dealing with being hurt, she didn't want it to keep happening. She had asked Lola how did she know that she could trust Riley, how she let him in. It had taken her a while to open up to Rick and he never wanted to hear it.

Lola couldn't explain it; she had opened up to Riley quicker than she thought she would and she couldn't put her finger on what it was with Riley but she was grateful that she did.

Lola told her before she left. "Take a leap of faith Mae."

Later that night, after dinner Mae pulled the card that came with the flowers out of her bag. She turned it over in her hand a few times.

Pops had told her to go for it. "Mae, I'm an old man. Let me see you happy before I go."

"Don't say that Pops."

"What? I am old, I plan on being here a while yet, but I want to see you smile again Monkey Mae."

Grabbing her phone she almost hung up before he answered. "Hi George. It's Mae…" she waited just a moment. "…Mae Hollister from Event8."

"Hello Mae Hollister from Event8." She guessed he was smiling; he was very smooth and she found it intriguing and a little unsettling.

"Thank you for my flowers, you don't have to send me flowers after every meeting."

"No I don't, but I want too. I'd like to think they make you smile."

"They do." She lied a little bit; she didn't love them but she appreciated that he didn't know that and he was trying to be nice. They were beautiful flowers and she did love flowers; it was the sending of flowers that bothered her. "Can I buy you breakfast?" Mae blurted out.

"You can."

"Great, tomorrow?" Mae just wanted to get this over with. Not the date but the phone call. It was awkward but George was quick to agree to breakfast, he figured he might only get one shot at it. "Thanks again for the flowers."

"It was my pleasure. Hey Mae, how are you?" He certainly didn't want her to hang up just yet.

"What? I'm good." Mae was a bit stunned, she had set herself for a quick phone call. And didn't expect to have to make small chat.

"Did you have a good afternoon? I mean I saw you this morning, how was the rest of your day?"

"It was good, busy and I got home and got to have a chat to my nephew so that's always a good way to end the day."

"How old is he?"

"Five months. Every girl needs a good man in their life."

"That they do. Hey, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Let me know when and where."

George Burrows wasn't easily distracted, not at work anyway. He had always worked hard and he expected people around him to do the same. He was a fair, but he set his standards high. His assistant ran through his appointments with him every morning so they both knew what they were doing for the day. "You have that Event8 meeting at 11."

"Event8?"

"Event Planning company for that product launch with Yatala." He hadn't been happy when it had been decided that they would no longer provide Event planning in-house and would now outsource most of the work. He liked in-house because they could control the narrative better. Using outside agencies could become a battle of wills, they always had their own ideas and spin on things. The company they had hired had pulled out last week leaving them in the lurch and pissing George off. They were now scrambling to find someone to take over.

"Great." He rolled his eyes. "How much easier would it be if I could just call Tarah in and tell her what I want?" George muttered, he didn't have time for this. "Oh well, let's see what this brings." He'd felt sorry for Tarah, she'd done a great job for a lot of years so having to let her go was hard but the decision was made above him and he was left to deliver the news and pick up all the pieces.

Felicity knocked on his door ten minutes before the meeting. "Event8 are here."

He glanced at the clock on his laptop. "They are early."

"A little yes. Do you want me to bring them in?"

"Nah, I just need to finish reviewing this, I'll come out in a minute." George really didn't like leaving emails half written, he needed to finish what he was doing so he could focus on the next appointment. "Can you get them a coffee or something?"

"Already done that." Felicity laughed. Of course she'd already done that, she was a good assistant and he would sink faster than the Titanic if she left.

He quickly finished the email in front of him and then took a quick look at the brief he had for the meeting. "Sorry to keep you waiting." It was a tick after 11. He was surprised by the two women in front of him, he expected a male and female. One of the ladies was older, neatly dressed and well-presented and the other was younger, also impeccably dressed with an easy smile. She stood up and introduced herself. "Mae Hollister." Offering her hand he was impressed by her confidence. "Nice to meet you Mr Burrows."

"Please, call me George." He shook her hand and introduced himself to her colleague, Luka. "Come in." he stepped aside and ushered them into his office towards a small round table in the corner. It was set up for small informal meetings. "Felicity looked after you I hope? Can I get you anything?"

"A water would be nice, thank you." Mae asked.

He organised Felicity to bring them in some water and Mae got straight to it. "So eight weeks doesn't give us much time?"

"Nope. The venue is booked so that's the important part right?"

"It helps." They didn't usually work like this but when you are starting up a new business you had to take what you could get especially with big accounts who traditionally didn't throw work in the direction of smaller companies. "Why did Patchwork pull out?"

George cocked his head to the side and smiled. "A differing of opinion."

"Well you know, if we agree to take on this job I need to know how much control I actually have?" Mae wasn't in the mood to be jacked around. This was her first big event since she'd been back at work. She had taken a month off after the incident with Rick and the few weeks with Alfie in Australia had done the trick and she had come back with renewed focus and a new found determination.

"How much control do you want?" George liked her, she didn't mess around and in business meetings he appreciated that. Everyone was busy, time wasn't abundant enough to waste on small talk. "The theme has been set in stone, the marketing materials are in production, that can't change."

"Okay." Mae leant forward and picked up the mock-ups of the marketing materials that were sitting on the table between them. "So based around this?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"I am sure we can work with this." George sat back a little, she was an impressive woman. It was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. "I can have something to you by tomorrow." Mae spoke to Luka quietly and she nodded while George watched. She hadn't said much and when he first saw them he had been surprised that Mae had stepped forward and taken the lead. He would have instinctively gone to the older woman as the lead. He had to learn not to make assumptions.

"Sounds good."

She asked a few more questions, requested some of the marketing material to take with her. "I will email you my ideas." George pulled a couple of business cards out from the pile of papers in front of him and slid them across the table towards Mae and Luka.

"Great." He'd rather she bought it in though, but he didn't want to come over as creepy. She unsettled him a little, just because he was more interested in watching her than listening. Her eyes were big and brown and when she smiled it made the corners of her eyes crinkle a little and she was just gorgeous. She made him look twice and he was distracted. Mae handed him a business card and shook his hand and he managed to pull himself together.

"It was nice to meet you George. Thank you for your time, I look forward to working with your company." She knew she sounded formal, even a little cold so she softened a little when he gave her a bemused smile. "I have a good feeling."

Felicity noticed it once they left. "Beautiful girl."

"Who?"

"Who indeed?" Felicity laughed. "It's written all over your face."

George pushed it out of his mind until he got and email from her just before he left the office. She just wanted to clarify a couple of things and he was more than happy to respond. When she emailed him the next day, as promised he was happy with her ideas and offered to catch up and run through a few things. He organised a café near her office and it was all very business-like. George didn't try to make it personal and he definitely got the vibe that she appreciated it. "I think it's going to work. I've contacted the venue just to check a few things. It's not a venue I've used before but they seem accommodating."

"My client is stressing out, this is the biggest thing they've had going on for a good couple of years. They wanted us to use Patchwork and I hadn't worked with them before. They weren't the right fit for us or how we work."

"I haven't had much to do with them."

"They promised the world but they got a bigger client and blew us off."

"Event8 doesn't blow off clients. I promise we will follow it through."

"It's a young company?" He'd done his research. In all honesty he'd contacted a couple of other event management companies before he got to them and they all said the timelines were too tight and they were already slammed. The last company he spoke to recommended contacting a small up and coming company that were doing good things.

"Yes we are, but that just means we have to work twice as hard. You don't get second chances in this business. You won't use Patchwork again will you?"

"Probably not." She'd got that right. They were low on his list of people he'd call in future. He was however hoping that this one came through because he'd really like to see some more of her. As soon as he walked out of that café he wanted to call her again, instead he sent her an email thanking her for her time and that he was happy with her ideas and happy to move forward.

They had one more meeting face to face before they had to present the concept and plan to the client and George had been impressed with her pitch and confidence as were his clients and they agreed quickly to let Event8 organise the launch. George was happy for Mae; he could see the work she had put into it at short notice and sent her some flowers to her office. '_thank you for digging us out of a big hole and congratulations, they were very impressed. I was impressed, you made us look good.'_

Mae sent him a quick email to thank him and was a little disappointed that he didn't reply. It was hard for her to admit but she kinda liked that he was doing a little bit of chasing. He was making his attraction to her obvious but never crossed a line. It was good for her ego, an ego that he been a little battered lately. He felt safe as well because as a client she could keep him at arm's length.

Mae slipped out of the house early before anyone else was up so she wouldn't have to answer any questions. She threw on some skinny jeans, a white shirt and pulled on a pair of boots. Grabbing a casual blazer she threw herself a cursory glance in the mirror before she left, she was trying to look like she wasn't putting in any effort.

The café she chose was still quiet and she found a comfy lounge in the corner and ordered herself a pot of tea. She spotted George outside and it was only then that her nerves kicked in. Mae was a confident person but she'd been knocked a few times and the last time probably took more out of her than she was willing to admit to anyone.

George made his way through the tables and Mae stood up and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, which surprised him a little. They had been very formal up until now. "Good Morning. Am I late?" He nodded towards her pot of tea.

"No, I didn't get one at home. I'm not great without it. My own personal heart starter." He had dark blond hair, green eyes and just a little stubble. He was taller than her by at least a head and Mae was glad she had heels on because otherwise she would have felt short next to him. It was nice to see him casually dressed, that often told you a lot. Up until now he had always been in a suit, or at the least a business shirt and pants. Today he was in jeans and a dark green button down shirt, rolled up at the elbows. He looked neat and tidy, his hands were clean and smooth and that was something that Mae suddenly appreciated.

George ordered a coffee and settled into the couch turning slightly to face her and draped his arm along the back of the cushions casually. Mae was a bundle of nerves though and George being relaxed seemed to help her nervousness subside. "This is a nice way to start the weekend. Although I've already been for a run, I couldn't sleep. Can I ask what made you change your mind?" He'd asked her if she wanted to get a drink one night and Mae shut him down and reminded him they needed to keep it professional.

Mae was happy to hear he was nervous too. It didn't make her feel so bad. "My Pops. He wanted to see me smile."

"Smart man."

"He's a grumpy old man."

The waitress delivered his coffee and took their breakfast order. George was relieved when Mae ordered bacon and eggs. "She eats meat…thank god, not eating meat that's a deal breaker."

"A vegetarian wouldn't last a week in my house. My Pops insists on cooking meat on his BBQ every Sunday night. My little sister Iris, came home one day and declared she wanted to be a vegetarian, I thought he was going to kick her out of the house. And a vegan would be cut out of the will. It was one of his better rants."

"Is she still vegetarian?"

"Oh god no, it's lasted all of a month." Mae snorted. "Most things Iris declares she is going to do last about a week, so she counts this one as a success. Girl's a flake."

"How old is she?"

"Almost 21, she was seventeen at the time."

Mae never had a problem carrying on conversations. She always found it easy to talk to people and George was no different. He was a nice guy; he was friendly and funny. He told her about his family, his job and how he got into it and what he did for fun.

"Why event planning?"

"I was always a list maker, I love lists and my Mom did a bit of this, event organising so I guess it's in my blood a little. I like seeing events come together, and seeing people happy. I love watching people enjoy themselves or that reaction when they walk into a room that's been decked out and you can just tell it's exactly what they wanted, or a night goes off and you have to kick everyone out at the end because they are having so much fun they don't want to leave." Mae's face lit up; she loved every minute of what she did. "I love making people happy."

What she was also good at was talking a lot, about nothing and asking questions to stop people asking her questions. George noticed it and found it fascinating and he had a fair idea of what she was hiding or holding back. If she was doing it to put him off it wasn't working, in fact it was having the opposite effect.

"Iris? Your sister, is that her baby you were talking about last night?" He caught her in the moment when she stopped to have a mouthful of her second pot of tea. Mae didn't drink coffee at all, she couldn't stand the taste and she had endured years of ribbing about it.

"No, my older sister, Lola. It's her baby."

"Just the one?"

"Yep, our first one. Sam's an angel, so cute." She could talk about Sam all day but knew she'd sound like a crazy chick but it was hard to rein it in. "Like, he's the cutest baby ever."

Mae had to change the subject and George wasn't quick enough to ask her another question. He knew a little about her family, he wasn't ashamed to admit that he had googled Mae just to see what popped up and he was surprised by what he gleaned. It was up to her to bring it up though.

The first thing that came up was an article about the ball and photos of Mae giving a speech, a quick read through the article told him that she was there with her siblings to honour the work of her mother. She had established the fundraiser before her sudden death in a car accident with her husband, _'leaving four young children as orphans'_. He had been stunned by that.

There were a lot of photos of her online taken over the years with regards to the Charity and he had been dragged into a bit of rabbit hole. It was something that George often did for people he was considering working with, he wanted to know if anything was going to come back and bite him down the track. He was very specific about the type of people he bought into his team; it was his reputation on the line.

Despite the ease of finding Mae on the internet there was very little personal information about any of them and a quick flick through Instagram revealed a private account and she had no other personal social media accounts. She did have a professional one though and some of her work looked impressive.

Mae smoothly changed the subject. "You mentioned a brother, is it just the two of you?"

"No, I am one of six."

"Six, holy crap."

"Yep" Her shocked expression made him laugh. "I'm the oldest, and then I have a brother, then Mom had twins, a boy and a girl and then twin girls. They are ten."

"Your poor Mom."

"She's done it tough. They have a different Dad to me though. Mom and Dad split about twelve years ago, he pissed off with some other woman and left Mom with four of us, she re-married and Scott didn't have kids of his own so they thought what's one more, and bang they got two. She shut it down after that. Scott's good though, he's been a good Dad. I was almost sixteen when the old man left, he kept in touch for a couple of years but I haven't heard from him in probably eight years."

"I can't imagine, like do you miss him?"

"I did at the start but he made it pretty clear he didn't miss us so what do you do?" He shrugged and he thought it was and interesting thing to say. "I couldn't keep beating myself up over it. I think it's tougher for the others you know, they were younger, they didn't understand what was going on. Henry and Annabel were four when he left, they don't really remember him being around. Scott's always been around for them, he's more of a Dad to them now."

Suddenly Mae had nothing to say. She didn't want to talk about her family right now, not that part of it anyway. It always felt like a bit of 'anything you can do I can do better' situation. Someone told you how shit their childhood was and bang, you came in with the 'my parents are dead' story. There was no where you could go after that. George noticed her discomfort and filled in the silence.

"Anyway, Mom's happy that's all I care about. Scott had been amazing, he's a good man."

"That's really nice."

Mae slid in with a topic change before he turned it around on her and George let her. He got the feeling that if he pushed she'd bolt. "Did you always want to do Marketing?"

"I did. I loved watching TV ads or advertising material and tried to find all the subliminal messages. Like what are they trying to say or get you to do."

"Surely they are getting you to buy what they are selling."

"Creating the need, that's what they do, they create the need. They make you feel like you must have it. Like woman's make-up, it's all about creating the need. You need to have this to make you look younger, happier, more natural, whatever it is. You buy it because of the marketing, they've made you buy it because of what they are selling. You buy the product but you've also bought the promise."

"Sneaky bastards."

"Yep. That's what we do. Everything is done for a reason, even the colours are chosen for a reason. It's all part of the plan. You pick your brand, what you want it to convey and then work out how to do it."

"I guess no-one is immune."

"Nope, it's everything and everywhere. Even what you chose to wear today, that's your brand, you are marketing yourself every time you step outside the house."

"Hmmm, have I created a need?" Mae got her flirt on and George was happy to pick it up and run with it.

"I'd give you a gold star."

"Good to know." Mae touched his leg lightly. "This has been really nice. Thank you."

"I should be thanking you. This was your idea."

"No it wasn't, it was yours. You manipulated me into this date."

"Manipulate sounds harsh."

"I'm not complaining. You created the need." She winked at him and then smiled sweetly. "You must be good at your job."

"Thank you kindly." George squeezed her hand quickly. "So what's your plans for the rest of the weekend?"

"Catching up with my brother later today, a bit of work and the usual family dinner tomorrow night, which consists of all of us fighting over who little Sam loves more." Mae laughed. "Which for the record, most times it's his mother, she's got the boobs."

Mae enjoyed herself, she felt comfortable with George. More than she thought she would, it was a big leap to even call him last night and as soon as she hung up she wanted to call him back and flake out but that would be a bitch move. He walked her back out to her car and thanked her for breakfast with a chaste kiss on the cheek. It was short and sweet. "Can I call you?"

"I'd like that."

He was still standing outside her car when he called. She looked at him and laughed. "I didn't mean right now." Despite the absurdity of it she answered her phone.

"I wanted too. I want to know if you'll have dinner with me."

"Yes I will."

"Tonight?"

"No not tonight." Mae probably would have said yes but she was having dinner with Alfie tonight. "How's Friday?"

"Too far away."

"Well if I said yes I would be wasting all the effort I put in to creating a need. You are not an impulse buyer are you?" Mae responded and he noticed the little blush that crept in.

"Depends on what I'm buying."

"See you Friday." She waved at him. Mae liked the need he had just created. She liked that he was good at his job.


	17. I've Been Waiting for You

George was blown away when she walked in. She was a beautiful woman and looked comfortable in her own skin and that was a very attractive trait. She was effortlessly beautiful, or at least looked like she had put no effort in. Her make up wasn't heavy handed, she didn't do fake eyelashes, her lips weren't pumped full of fillers, her hair was up in a messy bun and her floral dress was loose and floaty, it revealed enough, and the green colour suited her dark hair. She was gorgeous and George was just happy that she was walking towards him.

Around her neck was a simple necklace and when she got close he saw that it was a Rhino and that interested him, knowing what he did about her family's link to the zoo. She was a surprising little package, he felt there were a lot of layers he was going to have to unpack.

"It's nice to see you again. It's been a long week." He stood up from the table and kissed her cheek before holding out the chair for Mae to sit down. "You look pretty spectacular."

Mae thanked him shyly but she liked it. It didn't come across as sleazy. There was nothing worse than some guy declaring that you looked 'hot' or 'good enough to eat.' She'd had enough of that over the years. Being told she looked spectacular felt nice.

"How was your week?"

"It was good, busy but good. I've got this big job on at the moment, very important client I'm trying to impress." Mae waited until he sat down. "I've been looking forward to seeing you again."

"That's good to know."

George ordered them some champagne and they fell into a nice groove. George asked her about everything but her parents. "You know don't you?" Mae suddenly asked him. She was finding it awkward that he was dancing around it. She knew about his parents and he had avoided asking anything about hers. It wasn't normal.

"Know what?"

"You know about my parents."

"I do, I know a little but I don't know how comfortable you are talking about it and I don't want to upset you."

"It's not a secret, obviously." It came out harsher than she expected.

George leant over and rested his hand on hers. "Mae, it's not my story to tell. I am not going to drag it out of you. If you want to tell me I'm all ears, if you don't that's okay. I'll wait until you are ready."

"My parents died in a car accident when I was ten. I was devastated and I didn't talk for weeks literally, not a word; I didn't understand what was going on. It was hard and it still is but my grandparents raised us and they were amazing." Mae was a little blunt. "If you want to run, run. You wouldn't be the first."

"I am not going to run Mae, why would I run?"

"You know, _baggage_." He was amused by her use of air quotes, obviously it was something she had come up against before.

"Do you want me to run?"

"No…but…"

"But nothing. Mae, this doesn't change anything. You and I are just getting to know each other, I don't know what tomorrow brings, or next week or next month, but I am here now and I like that." George didn't muck around. "You never know I might have some huge skeleton in my closet that makes you hightail it out of here."

"Do you?"

"Not that I know of yet."

"Okay." She nodded and relaxed a little. "Okay."

"Tell me about them."

"Who? My parents?" George kept his hand on hers and Mae watched it for a moment as he ran his thumb over her knuckles, it felt nice. It had been a long time since she had enjoyed the touch of a man or at least wasn't scared of it. "My Dad was a Zoologist, he did all this crazy stuff with breeding programs and we were living in Australia where he was setting up an Open Range Zoo when they died. We had come back here for a holiday and were just about to head back when they had the accident. My Mom was a stay at home Mom mostly, she had four of us and Iris was only three. Before that she was a Social Worker and worked for BraveHearts, she started the BraveHearts Annual Charity Ball, that was her thing for Teen Suicide Prevention."

"They sound like amazing people; you must be proud."

"I am." She took a sip of her champagne. "I think they'd be proud of us too. Lola is a Doctor, Alfie is studying Zoology like Dad, he was in Australia but has come back for a bit because Pops is getting old and Iris wants to be a social worker like Mom."

"And you, Chicago's best event planner who is hard to pin down."

"Ha. When I think about Lola and Alfie and what they are doing, party planning seems a bit sad."

"I bet they can't organise a function for 2000 people? Or throw together a product launch at a moment's notice."

"Probably not."

"It must have been fate that Patchwork pulled out." She was enjoying the way he was running his hand up her arm and back down over her hand. "I'm glad I pinned you down."

Mae winked at him. "Depends what you mean by that?"

"Whatever you want it to mean." He smiled and was surprised when Mae pulled her hand away.

Mae picked at a crumb on the table. "Just one thing, I really appreciate the flowers, they are beautiful and it's a nice thing to do but…" She looked at him sadly. "..they remind me of when my parents died, there were so many flowers and then a few months ago my grandmother died and it's just a little…"

"Hey, Mae." George stopped her by putting his hand back on hers to calm her. "I never meant to upset you."

"It didn't, they were beautiful but I just would prefer, now that you know that like…" She stuttered. "…you don't need to send them, is that okay?"

"No more flowers. I'll have to find other ways to woo you."

"You are in marketing; I am sure you can come up with something."

George held her hand on the way out of the restaurant. It was late and they'd managed to waste nearly four hours over dinner. "I don't want this night to be over but I know it's not the right time."

"It's not." Mae stood in front of him, grabbed both his hands and kissed him, pulling his arms around her waist she pulled herself as close as she could. "Well maybe just a little more." She kissed him again, it felt good. "Thanks for dinner."

"Anytime." She let go of one of his hands and George held her cheek and guided her in for another kiss. "I think I should get in a Cab." Mae rested her forehead on his for a moment.

"Yep."

Mae called him the next morning. "Are you busy?" She barely let him get over his surprise of her calling.

"Not for you."

"My sister and brother-in-law are heading out on their boat this afternoon; I was wondering if you might like to come. If you aren't busy." Mae rushed it all out. "Wait, do you like boats? You don't get seasick do you? I can't do spewing."

"Will you be there?" George was amused by her obvious nerves. He needed to break her circuit and he really needed to spend time with her. She had been all he thought about last night when he got home and it had been a long time since a woman had scrambled him like she had.

"What, yes."

"Then I can't wait." Mae gave him a time and place. He hadn't been the only one that had been thrown off balance; she'd tossed and turned all night thinking about him. What if she got it wrong again? If she didn't push herself out of her comfort zone for him, because he'd done nothing to make her uncomfortable then she probably never would.

Lola and Riley were happy to have Mae come along and they were surprised that she asked to bring someone. Lola knew they'd had a couple of dates but Mae was very evasive. "What's going on Mae?" Lola was onto her, Mae wasn't like this, she never sought approval from anyone.

"Nothing. I like him, I want to spend time with him."

"You want us to give our tick of approval. Mae, don't let one fuckwit ruin your confidence."

"I'm not, I'm trying not to. Can you just do this for me once?"

"Of course." Lola would always say yes, whatever Mae needed to move on was okay with her, as long as she actually moved on. Riley would appreciate the male company anyway. Sam wasn't much help in the testosterone department yet. "Just before he gets here, tell me, have you slept with him?"

"What does that matter?" Mae was a little too quick to answer and her voice a little too high.

"Just so I know how insane my questions can be. If you've slept with him I can go low, if you are trying to sleep with him I will keep it classy."

"How about you just be a normal human being?"

"The first time I bought Riley home you told him that Dad knocked Mom up on the bonnet of a car and that we were all mistakes, except for you of course."

"Well, I wasn't lying." Mae was nervously rubbing one of her thighs with her free hand as she stalked around her room, it was a rash decision to ask Lola if she could bring George. She had surprised herself with how much she wanted to see him again. "I haven't told him about Rick."

Lola knew how to behave and she had warned Riley what he could and couldn't say. More than anything everyone wanted Mae to be happy and put herself out there again. This guy may not be the one but she had to start somewhere. Lola was standing on the back of the boat pointing out Mae as they came up the to the back of the yacht. Little Sam was excited as he bounced on her hip. "Look who's here? Who's that with your Monkey Mae?"

George was surprised at how much Mae looked like her sister. He was nervous meeting her and her husband because he was pretty sure this was some kind of test but they welcomed him on board and did their best to make it less awkward than it seemed.

"This is my favourite boy in the whole world." Mae scooped Sam out of his mother's arms and kissed his cheek. "I could steal him."

"Until he's hungry or screaming for no reason at 3am, then you aren't so keen."

"Don't listen to your Momma Bear." She snuggled into Sam who grabbed her face and squealed a little. He was such a bundle of love at the moment.

Riley dragged George away and showed him around the yacht. He hadn't done any sailing before so Riley took it easy on him but he asked a million questions and Mae seemed to enjoy that George was having a good time and was relaxed and Riley was happy to show him the ropes. She had thrown him in the deep end to some degree.

"Man, this is exhausting." He flopped down on the deck when they dropped anchor for lunch. "It's harder than it looks."

"Well you didn't break anything so that's a good start." Mae handed him a beer. Riley declined, even more so now that he had his son on board he didn't drink at all when he was in charge of the boat. Sam was currently sleeping down below in a secure infant crib so Lola had decided to eat before he woke.

He seemed to love the movement and they had spent a few nights on the boat with him, making the most of it while he was still immobile. Once he was crawling around they'd have to rethink bringing him on board for anything more than a couple of hours.

"How do you manage by yourself?"

"Lola isn't usually so lazy. I make her work her butt off." Riley nudged her lightly. "Although the first time I bought her onboard she did sweet FA."

"Well not quite…" Mae started and when Lola shot her a warning look she shut up. She knew it could turn on her in an instant and also lead to an awkward conversation about sex that she wasn't sure George was ready for, she certainly wasn't.

"I am working, he doesn't understand the whole baby thing."

They enjoyed lunch and George sat back and listened to Lola tell some eye-raising stories about her time in the Emergency Department. Mae offered a few little bits about them growing up but it was all kept very non-specific. Lola noticed it and didn't push Mae; she'd open up to him when she felt she could. Pushing her too hard would make her crawl back into her shell.

When Lola disappeared down below to feed Sam, Riley followed her. Not only did he love watching them together they also wanted Mae to spend some time alone with George. It felt like it was starting to get to the awkward stage when they were running out of things to talk about and Lola could sense that George wanted some time with Mae.

"It's so nice out here." George sat next to Mae and they hung their feet over the edge and enjoyed the calm and the sun. "Lola and Riley are lovely. Sam is way too cute. I can see why he's your main man."

"They are, Lola's so lucky. Riley has been so good for her."

"Obviously you are close to Lola, was that always the case?"

Mae shrugged; they'd never really know but she hoped they would have always been on this course. She couldn't imagine not having any of them in her life. Having Alfie away for a few years was hard enough but they talked every week. She barely went a day or two without talking to Lola and Iris. "Yeah, I guess so. Who knows what it would be like if things were different?"

"So?" George nudged her shoulder and Mae tried not to freak out with the suddenness of his contact. "Did I pass the test?"

"So far so good. They haven't hauled anchor and taken us back yet so…." Mae jumped up and pulled him up with her. "Let's go for a swim."

Mae let Riley know what they were doing before stripping off her dress and revealing her slim body in a bright blue bikini. George tried not to drool, she was gorgeous and he was mesmerised. He was surprised by the tattoo down her left side but she was always moving and he didn't get a good look at it. He followed her down the ladder and into the water. Mae was impressed by his body also, not quite the six pack but he wasn't fat either. He worked out just enough to stay fit.

Mae enjoyed the water and when George got close enough she splashed him and he grabbed her foot and not let her go and eventually he let her swim away.

Swimming after Mae it didn't take much to catch up with her and he slid both arms around her waist and held her tight against his body. "You are fucking incredible." He whispered in her ear. "What are you doing to me?"

"Creating a need." Mae turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. "Am I doing this right?"

"Yes." George ran his hands down her back and gripped both of her thighs under the water. "Sweet, sweet Mae." They shared a kiss that was deep and comforting before Mae wiggled out of his embrace and swam back towards the boat.

Taking the towel that Mae handed him he wrapped it around his waist and shook the water from his hair. "I could spend half my life out here."

"It's pretty great isn't it? Lola and Riley were always out here until they had Sam. It's a bit harder with him. Riley bought her out here for their first date, he'd been begging her for a date for months."

"So all you Hollister women play hard to get?" He watched Mae dry herself off and took the towel from her as she went to toss it aside and pull her dress back on. He wanted to grab the dress to stop her covering herself up but was too much of a gentleman for that.

"Well hardly, it didn't take you much to get a date with me. Remember you created a need." Mae reminded him. "Although to be fair, Riley would probably be happier with the outcome of their first date than you."

"Don't tell me that."

"Sorry."

"Ahhh, I'll get over it." George patted her ass as she passed. "And you didn't do too bad with that need creating thing either. Especially just then."

Lola hugged her sister once they were back in the marina. "He's sweet Mae, he's making you smile. Let him in, I think he'll treat you right."

"Thanks Lola Bear."

Mae wasn't ready though, much to George's disappointment. She'd really enjoyed the day and the whole weekend but she just needed some space to take stock. "You don't seem comfortable?" He'd asked her back to his place and Mae baulked. "It's okay Mae."

"I'm trying to do this right?"

"I don't know what that means, and if I am not getting this right please tell me." He tucked a wet curl of hair behind her ear and gave her a sweet little kiss. "I've had a great day; I had a great time last night and I can't wait to see you again."

"Me too."

The next day he sent her balloons.

George was suddenly confused. Mae seemed to be pushing him away and he couldn't figure it out. He thought the day on the boat went well, they'd flirted, even the swim they took got a little heated and he made it pretty clear he enjoyed spending the day with her and her family. Mae seemed to enjoy it as well and then she took a step back and he was left scratching his head.

George called her during the week and he finally got Mae to agree to another date after she brushed him off the first few times. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yep, I'm fine. It's fine George, really." He wasn't convinced and that got him worried so he'd just have to see her again and try to get a read on her.

"Tell me to back off if you need me to."

"Oh I will." Mae laughed, a little awkwardly. "If I wanted you back off, don't worry I would tell you." She added when she heard him suck in a sharp breath. "Hey, I still have my balloons."

"Really? That's good. You know it's hard, you've made things hard for me but I like a challenge." George had racked his brains trying to figure out what to do for her. He just wanted her to know that he was thinking about her a lot and that he also heard her. He heard the heartache in her voice about the flowers. "As Pooh once said, no one can be uncheered by a balloon."

"I wasn't uncheered."

"Good to know."

They went bike riding, not that he didn't enjoy it but felt that it was her way of spending time with him but not actually having to talk to him all that much. Even when they stopped for lunch she was quiet. They rode for a bit longer and eventually dropped their bikes off at the rental place and he grabbed her hand and asked her to walk for a bit. He was worried she was about to call it a day. "I think I'm going to pay for that tomorrow." Mae chuckled. "I haven't ridden a bike for years."

"You wanna sit for a bit?"

It was beautiful afternoon and George threw his hoodie on the ground for her to sit on.

Mae surprised him when she started talking about her grandmother. "She had been such a constant in my life to suddenly have that gone was hard, I wasn't prepared even though she was in her 90's. Lola was so close to having Sam and that's all MiMi wanted, was to see her great grandchild, she was so excited. Pops said that was what she was like when Mom was pregnant, only on 'roids."

"I'm sorry she didn't get to meet him. He's a cutie."

"He is, our little Emu."

"Emu?"

"Yeah, that's what he was called when Lola was pregnant, our Emu. Like Iris was called Bug and we still call her that." Mae picked at the grass. "I am not really sure why Bug stuck and nothing else really did. She's called that more than not."

"Where did Emu come from?"

"Oh, when we were living in Australia Lola decided she wanted to go to her school Christmas concert dressed as an Emu, Mom and Dad did it, they made this wacky costume. Riley read about it in Dad's blog and he bought her a toy Emu and she loved it so when she fell pregnant, it kinda stuck."

"Your Dad's blog?"

"Yeah, he wrote this blog and it's pretty funny. It's nice to sit and read it and remember the good times we had before everything went to shit." He noticed she reached for the Rhino necklace. "When life wasn't such a fucking mess."

He was going to come back to that necklace, it obviously meant something to her but noticing the far off look on her face he didn't think diving into that straight away was wise. "What was your costume?"

"I was a clown, Mom dropped her bundle, she hated clowns, like she had a phobia about them and she covered her eyes the whole time. Dad was annoyed at me because I actually begged the teacher to let me be the clown. Mom was really, really pregnant with Bug, so Dad was all over protective and ranty."

"So you are a shit stirrer?"

"I was an awesome clown." She was still playing with the necklace.

"What's that about?" He touched her hand lightly.

"It was my Mom's. We bought her a necklace for her birthday just after Iris was born, she was like a week or two old and Dad let us pick out a charm each. I picked the Rhino so that's why I've got it. Lola got a snowflake, Alfie picked a blue heart and Iris was a crown because she was often called Her Royal Highness, well in Dad's blog anyway, he never used our real names. I was GB or Gummy Bear."

"And you've got a Rhino in your tattoo?" He had been desperate to ask her about that, it was too big to be something she did on a whim.

"I do, it's the four of us." Mae hugged her knees to her chest. "They are everything to me."

"I can see that." He wanted to ask more but Mae quickly changed the subject though and he'd have to wait. Suddenly she was making him laugh talking about some of the bridezilla's she'd dealt with and terrible mother of the bride's and horrid mother of the groom. She could tell a story, that's for sure and was an expert of deflecting attention away from her when she needed too.

"We should get going, before it gets cold." Mae shivered. The sun wasn't quite setting but it was low in the sky and the shade it cast made it feel colder than it was. The wind was picking up and that rattled around and gave her goosebumps up and down her arms and legs.

"Okay." George jumped up and pulled her to her feet. Briefly Mae rested her head on his chest and he kissed the top of it. "You okay?" He helped her pull his hoodie on and adjusted the hood, which was just an excuse to get close to her.

"Yeah. This has been really nice. I've had a nice day." She slipped her hand into his as they headed back to the parking lot.

"You'll have to take me to the Zoo one day?"

"I will." Mae muttered quietly. The last time she took anyone to the Zoo was Rick and he couldn't wait to leave. Animals weren't his thing and that should have been a red flag. "One day."

George still had no idea where he stood with her. If anything he was more confused than ever. Just before they got to the car Mae tugged on his hand.

"So? The days' over?" Mae surprised him. "Disappointing."

"Only if you want it to be."

"We could get some take-out, and watch a movie or something." She was kicking the ground with her shoe, but if she bothered to look up she'd have seen him smiling at her nervousness, it was very cute. "That's if you want too."

"Good idea."

He threw his keys and wallet on the counter and offered Mae a drink. She was checking out the place. It wasn't big, but it was beautiful and neat which was a relief. "This is nice." Mae ran her hand over the back of his comfy looking couch. She stopped and looked at a few photos pinned to the fridge. "Is this all of you?" She pointed to the photo of his entire family. "Your little sisters are cute."

"They are and they are right royal pains in the ass." George stood behind her, resting his hands on her hips and she leant back against him a little. "It was Mom's birthday last month. Getting us all in one photo is a struggle."

Mae peered at the photo and asked George to point everyone out. There was no way she was going to remember their names but she wanted to know anyway and she liked how close he was, she liked the warmth of him.

"Can I tell you something?" Mae took the drink that George had poured for them. She looked nervous and he was concerned, he was worried that this was all about to come to a crashing halt.

"Sure."

She led him over to the couch, crossed her legs and pulled a cushion into her lap and the distance between them was obvious, he tried not to be freaked out by it. She was here, she had asked to come back to his place and he hoped that was a good thing. "I'm sorry if I am a little all over the shop with us."

"I get the feeling that I've done something to scare you."

"You haven't. Well you have, but only because you've made me feel something and that scares me."

"Why?"

Mae didn't know how else to say it so she just blurted it out, she didn't look at him, she couldn't. "My last boyfriend hit me." Mae didn't want to see the look of pity on his face, or worse than that a look that told her that he didn't care. Not that she had any idea what that would look like.

"No fucking way?" It was the last thing he was expecting and it probably wasn't the best answer he could have come out with.

"I was abused by my last boyfriend." Mae picked at an imaginary thread on the cushion in her lap. She was working it furiously and George could see how tense she was. "Physically abused. He hit me, a few times over a couple of months."

"Shit." He didn't know what else to say, he reached for her hand and Mae curled her fingers around his and hung on for dear life. She was scared if she let go he would bolt. It was his place though and he wasn't going anywhere. Perhaps she was hoping that if she held onto him he wouldn't let her get up and run, which she wanted to do.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" George was still trying to process what he'd just been told. Suddenly things were making sense. He knew this was her first foray into dating again after her last relationship but she had never talked about what happened but now he could understand how daunting all this must be for her and why she was a little scattered. It made him all the more intrigued, he felt protective of her and he didn't really understand why.

"All this, I shouldn't be here. This isn't fair on you."

"Hey, we are here and I want to be here and I am glad you are too. What happened to you Mae?"

Tears glistened in her eyes as she laid it all out, it all came rushing back to her and she appreciated that George rested his hand on her knee and listened, it was comforting. He didn't take his eyes off her beautiful face and every time Mae glanced at him he was looking at her.

"MiMi had just died, like two days before, Lola had been in hospital with early contractions and I was overwhelmed. I'd got home late and he started on me. I asked him for a tissue and he just threw this box at my head and as I tried to walk out of the room he kicked me, right in the ass. I couldn't sit down without it hurting for days. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go to Pops or Lola because they had other stuff to worry about. I felt hopeless and so alone. I was missing MiMi, I was missing my parents. It was such a mess. I was a mess." George was surprised at how angry he felt about what Mae had been through and at such an emotionally devastating time for her. He had listened to her talk about how much her grandmother meant to her and how heartbroken she was when she passed away but he didn't say a word, he just let her talk.

Rick had apologised to Mae the next day, begged her for forgiveness and promised that he didn't mean it and Mae had so much going on that she pushed it aside.

"I was so confused."

It was a few months later that the next one happened. They had been watching a movie and Mae had spilt his beer accidently and he had punched her so hard in the leg that it left a massive bruise.

Mae knew she had to get out when he hit her for the last time. He was ropable that she had forgot his beer, it stunned her how angry he was about it and she laughed a little nervously when he asked her where it was. "Stupid mole." He muttered.

"I'm sorry. I was on a work call and just was on auto-pilot."

"I thought you were a woman, can't you multi-task or something?" Rick snarled at her. He was definitely a guy who liked his women a little submissive and part of Mae liked that he wanted to take care of her. A sense of abandonment from her parent's death always bubbled under her surface. Mae challenged him because after they settled in she started to push back a little and he was finding it harder to pretend that it didn't bother him.

"Most times." Mae laughed again but she had a feeling of dread. She was hoping that a bit of humour might diffuse the situation but it had the opposite effect and he exploded at her.

"I don't know why the fuck I bother telling you to do anything. You and your fucking feminist bullshit."

"I'm hardly a feminist. I'd like to think I am an equalist."

"Ha, you are a fucking feminist. It makes me laugh that you are dumb enough to think this will ever make a difference. I mean you need to stop crying at the drop of a hat for starters. It just shows how weak you really are." He glared at Mae who was struggling to stop herself from bursting into tears. "Like now. Fucking stop it." He shoved his face into hers. "Stop fucking crying."

"You don't seem to mind my feminist side when it comes to giving you some place to live. You don't mind staying here for nothing. You don't mind my feminist side when you want to fuck me." Mae knew she had to keep her mouth shut but that's not who she was.

Mae tried to step around him but he pushed her up against the wall, as her back hit the wall she felt the air leave her lungs and she reacted by pushing him away. She never saw the fist coming but she certainly felt it as it slammed into the side of her face. Lurching forward seemed to piss him off even more and he pushed her back again and put his hand over her mouth. Mae panicked, she was struggling to breath and she bit his hand and kicked him and he slapped her hard across the mouth and slammed her face into the wall. Suddenly it was all over. He let her go and Mae fled. It was the last time she saw him and she knew Gus had a hand in that.

George didn't move, he didn't say anything but he touched Mae constantly. He didn't want to interrupt her but wanted her to know that he was listening. He was trying to take it all in, it was not what he expected. Her parent's dying seemed like it was more than enough for anyone to live through, let alone this. Surprisingly he didn't want to run a million miles, he wanted to know it all and he wanted to shelter her and that made him a little confused. No girl had ever had this effect on him. He wanted to scream and yell and get angry at this guy who he didn't know but showing his anger would probably make her run and that's not what he wanted.

"I feel like I let MiMi down and I was embarrassed that I let this happen to me." She also told him about her concerns that it would be too much for her Pops to handle because they'd just lost MiMi and everyone was hurting. "I'm starting to think that I don't deserve anything good."

"Well that's crap. I can't imagine what it felt like to go through all that, I can't imagine how devastating your life has been but what I can see is this incredibly smart, strong, funny, kind, sweet woman who is breathtakingly beautiful and immensely sexy sitting on my couch, in my house, next to me and that makes me happy."

"I'm such a clusterfuck."

"You are not a clusterfuck."

"I thought I was okay, that I was ready to put it behind me."

"I think you are."

"Then why can't I? Why can't I just be with you?"

Mae ran her hands over the cushion in her lap nervously and George gently placed his hands over hers to stop them. The room suddenly felt small for Mae and she wanted to bolt, George sensed it and that's why he held onto her. "You can, if you stop blaming yourself, this was not about you. Yes it happened to you but not because of who you were or are, it happened to you because he's a weak gutless fucking asshole."

"I know, I know it's not my fault but I can't stop thinking…."

George placed one finger on her lips. "Shhh, don't think for a moment, just close your eyes." He waited until she closed her eyes. "Now just don't think, just feel." Softly he pressed his lips to hers. His hand rested on her cheek and he waited, kissing her softly until he felt her relax, her lips parted slightly and she started returning his kiss.

He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth as he let go. "See, you can feel. I felt you. That's what you deserve."

"I'm not ready for anything else." Mae apologised. "That's not usually like me, I always jump in feet first but I can't do that this time."

"Hey, it's okay. I told you, I like you are here."

"I like kissing you."

"Plenty more of that when you are ready." George ran his hand through her hair and stroked her face. "I want you to stay here with me tonight."

Mae tilted her head and smiled. "Really?"

"Just stay. I don't want you to go because then I would worry about you all night. I want to see you in the morning and make sure you are okay."

"You are sweet." She leant forward and bought her face close to his and smiled "So sweet." It was a beautiful kiss, soft and romantic and full of promise. They'd get there, sometime soon they would get there. They both knew it.

Mae happily curled up next to him in bed. George gave her a shirt to sleep in and she had been surprised when he slept in just his boxers. "Is this to test my resolve?"

"Nope, I'm wearing more than I usually do." He rolled over to face her in the gloomy dark. "I remember the first time I shared a bed with a girlfriend."

"Do I really want to hear this?"

He touched her nose playfully and just kept talking. "I was so shit scared, we held hands and kissed and I thought that was as good as it gets. She made me sleep on top of the sheets while she slept under it."

"Poor boy." Mae patted his face. "So you didn't get lucky?"

"Nope, funny thing is I was gutted then but now, here I am sharing a bed with you and I feel lucky anyway."

"We could hold hands and kiss?"

Mae was still holding his face and wiggled over for a kiss. It was soft and sweet at first and then became a little bit intense and for a few moments they let themselves just feel all that it entailed and then he pulled away. "The kiss when I was sixteen was nothing like that."

When Mae woke she was in bed alone, her hand ran over the spot where he had slept and it still felt a little warm. She pulled on her shorts, but left his shirt on, looping her hair up and into a ponytail she took a quick look in the mirror in the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. She could hardly say she looked good but this was as good as she was going to get in the morning and he may as well get used to it from the start. If he was expecting some goddess to come prancing out of the bedroom he was going to be disappointed. "Good Morning." George was in the kitchen making himself a coffee and Mae was surprised to see a pot ready for some tea.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I did." Mae worked her way into a hug. "I slept really well. Thank you." Standing on tiptoes she gave him a little kiss and leant back and looked up at him. Mae wasn't short but she felt like she fitted under his chin perfectly.

"I liked having you there."

"Even if…."

George held up one hand to stop the rest of her sentence. "I liked having you here. End of story."

"Such a gentleman."

"I try." He squeezed her hand. "Want some breakfast?"

"What you got?"

"All the five food groups."

"Bacon?"

"I've got bacon." George opened his fridge and started pulling out the things he needed. "Do you want a shower or something? I can get you a towel."

"Yeah, that'd be great. Although I don't have any other clothes to wear."

"I'll grab you another shirt, you kinda look hot in my shirts." Mae followed him back into the bedroom took the shirt he offered.

"Yeah yeah." He loved the sound of her laugh. He loved that it reached the corner of her eyes and she looked happy. It made him relax a little, he was still a little unsure about what was going on here but she was still here and showed no signs of trying to bolt out the door so that had to be a good sign.

Sliding the plate of food across the table towards Mae he couldn't help himself. She looked good here, she looked happy and comfortable. Her wet hair piled up on top of her head, his shirt tucked loosely into her shorts at the front. "It was kinda hard staying in the kitchen cooking knowing you were naked just through that wall." He pointed towards the bathroom.

"Down boy."

"Just saying."

"I really want this to work." Mae suddenly announced. "I really do, I'm just scared."

"Me too. I mean I am not scared, I'm excited and if we have to go slow, we go slow."

She just smiled and nodded. "Why are you single again?"

George winked at her and Mae felt herself falling. "I've been waiting for you."


	18. Struggle Street

Pops was more than happy to hang Mae out to dry. "She didn't come home until this afternoon. She went out yesterday morning and didn't drag her sorry ass home until about an hour ago." Adam grumbled at Lola when she handed over Sam.

He literally held out his arms for his great grandson as soon as she walked through the door.

"Well she's a big girl Pops."

"She's a dirty stop out."

"I hope so." Charlotte kissed the top of his head. "She needs some love. He's a nice guy."

"You've met him?"

"I have."

"It's not Rick the Dick is it? Is that why she is hiding him?"

"No Pops, it's not Rick the Dick. He's still licking his wounds from whatever happened after Gus paid him a visit." They all knew that Gus had 'dealt' with him, sometimes it was best not to ask for the finer details. Adam had argued at the time that he wanted Gus to take him with him. He may be old but Adam was more than happy to try and kick his ass. As far as Adam was concerned he was weak as piss for hitting any woman, let alone his precious granddaughter and didn't stand a chance against a real man. "Don't worry."

"I do worry Lola Bear, that's all I do now is worry."

"I know." She hugged him quickly. "Talk to Sam, he's got something to say. He's very chatty today." Sam was looking at his Pops waiting for some interaction. He was all about socialising right now, even when he woke at four am he thought it was a good time for a chat. Neither of his parents indulged him at that hour. It seemed to work well for everyone, most nights and then there were the random out of nowhere shit fights that seemed to last from sun down to sun up for no particular reason other than he was a baby and he did random shit some days.

Adam didn't have to be told twice and Lola left him with Pops and Iris, who had just appeared when she heard Lola arrive. It hurt a little bit to think they couldn't leave Pops alone with the baby, Sam was starting to squirm about a little too much and they were worried that he wouldn't be able to hold him. They never told him he couldn't hold Sam, they just made sure someone was with them. Getting old sucked and seeing their Pops get old wasn't fun for anyone.

Disappearing upstairs Lola knocked on Mae's door and barely waited for a response. "Pops is downstairs telling Sam how you are a dirty stop out."

"He's got a big mouth."

Lola perched on the bed while Mae brushed her hair and started to braid it. "Yes, I stayed with George last night."

"Yay." Lola clapped and Mae rolled her eyes.

"Settle pettle, nothing happened. I told him about Rick the Dick and he wanted me to stay anyway."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"I think I may have mentioned that I was a clusterfuck. Just what every guy wants to hear."

"And what did he say?"

"That I wasn't a clusterfuck, that he had no idea what I'd been through but that all he sees is me, smart, beautiful, sexy…. He says a lot of shit, he's a marketing guy, he knows words."

"Oh Mae, throw the guy a bone and give him what he wants."

"We've decided to take it slow, we are both okay with that. Despite the emotional verbal vomit that I subjected him to. Don't push me Lola." Lola had said her piece. Mae was going to do what she was going to do. Lola liked him though, she liked him with Mae. He was a little older and that could be a good thing, she tended to go for young and wild, George was smarter than that. He had a good job, not that that precluded anything but he seemed to have his head on straight, was looking for more than a wild fling and treated Mae well.

"Nice to see you wearing clothes." Pops growled at Mae when she came down in a jeans and a t-shirt.

"Pops, don't be a dick."

"Sam…" Pops talked to his baby. "They don't respect me anymore." Sam gurgled back at him, he was very cute, they were cute together, the two different ends of the age spectrum. They couldn't be further apart and yet Sam just adored his Pops and the feeling was mutual. He was always talking to him or making silly faces and Sam loved it. Lola treasured every one of the minutes Adam spent with her son.

Mae had spent the day with George. They had stayed in; Mae only had the clothes that she left the house in the previous morning and he'd found her a pair of sweat pants for her when she got cold and they barely stayed up but she looked impossibly sexy wearing his clothes. He dragged out a scrabble board and they had fun, they watched a movie, flirted a lot and she asked him to show her some photos of his family and listened to him talk about his childhood and what his parents were like. He talked about his Dad leaving very briefly but spent more time talking about his Step Dad and Mom. Mae sat close to him and touched him a lot as he talked and he liked that. He stole the odd kiss or two, a couple of them getting quite steamy but he played nice and that was hard.

Mae opened up to him about her parents and talked about how she coped without them and how she kept their memory alive.

Sometimes Mae wasn't sure if she actually remembered them or just had memories because everyone had always told her about them. They had videos of them and had watched them all the time and she was worried that was what made her remember or did she really remember what they sounded like or felt like?

"What does it matter if it's all the stories people told you, or the videos you watch or the photos you look at?"

"It matters to me."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to forget them."

"You don't, you haven't forgotten them because you've just spent the past hour telling me about them and you didn't see what I saw. I saw your face light up, I saw how you feel and I can see how much you love them and miss them. It was pretty incredible; I wish I could bottle and sell what I just saw in you."

"Sometimes I am still angry at them for leaving me and us."

George reached over and kissed her forehead. "I can only imagine. I am sure they never wanted to leave you all. I hate my Dad for leaving, but I think that's different. He chose to leave and he's still out there and doesn't want anything to do with us."

"Is that hard?"

"It was, now not so much. I can't make him love me or want to know me. I feel bad for the others; they were younger and didn't understand why he left. I always thought perhaps it was better if he was dead but now I've met you and I can see the pain that has caused you, that it still causes you I don't know anymore."

"But that's different yeah? I still loved my parents."

"I still loved him Mae, for a long time. He was my Dad."

"Do you still love him?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. For a while I wondered and sometimes I still do what I would do if he came back. I don't know actually. I think now.." He shrugged. "… he's just another guy. I guess there is being a father, and just about anyone can be that, and then there is being a Dad. Scott is my Dad, he's just the sperm donor."

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

"Hey." He tugged on her hand and pulled her close. "It's nothing compared to you. You know I haven't thought about it for a long time. You've made me think about it again."

"Sorry."

"That's not a bad thing Mae, maybe I never dealt with it properly or just buried it because it was always easier that way. I'm okay with it. He's not here, he's not part of my life and I've been lucky in other ways." It was something George hadn't thought about for a long time, it was a long time ago and he just got on with things. Mae was the complete opposite, she still bore the scars and he found that fascinating.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Scott was amazing, my family is happy and I've had a good life. Now I have this little thing starting with you, so yeah I am lucky. I have a feeling you are going to be good for me."

"I hope so." Mae giggled. "I am sorta awesome."

As soon as dinner was over Mae called him, she was surprised at how much she'd thought about him all night. She wondered how he would go here, would he like it, would they like him? She had been left caught off guard when Lola clicked her fingers in front of her to get her attention because her mind had wandered back and was thinking of George and how much she liked it when he kissed her. "Just wondering if we can catch up sometime?"

"Anytime."

"Wednesday night?"

"So far away." He whined a little. "Hey how was dinner?"

Mae crossed her legs on her bed. It felt like déjà vu, she never thought she'd be living here again and but when all the shit went down she felt safe here, it was her sanctuary. Her Pops had been her biggest supporter, he'd been her rock and Mae loved being with him. "Not as crazy as usual, although Pops was a little off the chain."

"Why?"

"Because he thinks I am a dirty stop out and told everyone that I didn't come home last night, including Sam, who didn't care by the way."

"Anytime you want to be a dirty stop out you let me know."

Mae just laughed, "You know this feels like I am seventeen again and talking to my first boyfriend."

"I know. It's sweet though. It's weird, I kinda like it." George laughed. "I mean I did all the usual seventeen year old boy stuff after you left."

"Hmmm, TMI."

"I thought about you though, does that help?"

"Maybe."

Wednesday couldn't come soon enough. Dinner was casual and Mae was dressed down in a long jersey dress and denim jacket, they went to a pub and once they were done George was surprised when Mae asked if she could stay at his place again. "Just stay, like the other night?"

"Sure." He shrugged but he was starting to wonder how long they could keep doing this.

"I can go home?"

"No, come home with me."

Mae had packed a bag, she bought clothes for work the next day. She looked comfortable and relaxed and he was struggling to keep his hands off her. George did like that she felt comfortable enough with him to make herself at home. "Can I get you anything?" Mae settled into the corner of the couch.

"Nope, just to talk to you."

George sat down and pulled Mae's legs into his lap. He loved touching her. If they were going the slow burn he was going to let her know that whenever she was ready so was he. Slowly he worked his hand up her calf and over her knee. "What's this scar?" He ran his hand over the little bump inside her knee.

"Alfie accidently stabbed me with a fork."

"Accidently?"

"Yes, he was running with a fork and he'd been told to stop but he tripped and I ended up with it sticking out of my leg."

"Did it hurt?"

"Fuckin' oath." Mae laughed when George looked surprised and a little confused, she patted his face. "Yes it hurt and I cried like a banshee." Alfie had came back and they had easily picked up his Aussie slang again. "He was in so much shit I almost felt sorry for him except I had this fork sticking out my leg. I was eight, he was five and Mom was wigging out. It was before…." She shrugged. "You know."

"My poor baby." George kissed it and Mae didn't seem to mind, she moved her leg a little and he continued to kiss her leg, moving up her thigh slowly. He kept one eye on her and Mae was just smiling at him.

Eventually she stopped him by placing her hand on her leg, restricting his access to her upper thigh. "I feel like if I let you go you won't stop."

"I will always stop, until you ask me not too."

"Is it too much, me being here? I'm not being fair to you."

George had really had enough of this conversation. "How many times do I need to tell you I like having you here?" he was a little exasperated and that came through in his voice and he apologised. "It's just, Mae, I don't know what else I can do to show you that I want you here, whether something happens or not. I feel like I am in a no-win situation. If I say stay, you think one thing and if I say, yep you know go home it's too hard then I'm an asshole. I'm doing my best."

"I know. I'm sorry." She covered her face with her hands momentarily. "I really like being here, I feel comfortable and I feel safe with you. I am usually not this much of a mess, I feel messy."

"Well to be honest, it is a little messy right now."

"Why are you so patient?"

"Patient? I am not patient, not really I am just able to control myself. I'm not an asshole." He was leaning into her and had twirled her ponytail around his hand. "It's just the feeling I get, something I can't put my finger on it because I've never really been here before."

"You always jump into bed?"

"Yeah, well not straight into bed but it's not so far away either, you things follow a certain path more often than not." George groaned. "That sounds pretty crappy doesn't it?"

"No, I'm usually more like that than this."

"Just my luck."

"I don't know if you understand how much I appreciate this."

George tugged on her hair until her face was level with his. "I don't know if you appreciate how much I am enjoying just being in the same room as you." His kiss wasn't sweet, it was a little needy and she didn't hate it. "Hey, just backing up a little, I really like that you feel safe with me."

"I do."

"I didn't realise how important something like that was until recently, until I met you." Mae was also teaching George a lot about himself and they type of man he wanted to be. "Like I never wanted to make anyone to not feel safe but I never really thought about it."

"I'm not sure I did either. I never felt unsafe in the way you think, like physically but I never thought about emotional safety until I wasn't. Does that make sense?"

"Sure. So much emphasis is put on not putting yourself in physically dangerous situations, but I guess you don't think about that internal stuff. I never thought I had to put any effort into making sure the person I was with felt safe in that way. Not that I wanted them to think anything else but I figured if you were not in physical danger, that was all I needed to do." George's brow furrowed. It sounded crappy, like he didn't care. "Sorry, I mean I cared but just didn't think about all that other stuff."

"Neither did I. I learnt a lot about me, about what I wanted and needed. There is good and bad and I have to make sure that I come first, I didn't do that. I put Pops, Lola and Emu before myself. I won't do that again, I hope I won't do that again."

"I won't let you. See you are good for me; I'm learning a lot about being in a relationship that's not just physical." George teased her. "Even if you are making me revisit my sexually frustrated teenage years."

They got a little hot and heavy, Mae ended up pushing him back against the couch and climbed into his lap, she straddled him and kissed him hard as she slid her hands under his sweater. He loved the feeling of her hands touching him, it was warm and soft but eventually he'd had enough and he lifted her off his lap. Mae had told him she wasn't ready for anything more and he was going to respect that no matter what was happening now. He didn't want to regret it nor did he want Mae to be put in an uncomfortable position. "You've no idea how hard that was." He moaned. "God, Mae. You are killing me."

"Sorry."

"How do you just turn it off?"

"I don't, I haven't. I'm just scared and I don't want to be scared."

George tugged on her arm and pulled her in for a hug. He just wanted to be close to her, he wanted to feel her breathe. "I know. When you are ready, Mae I'll he here."

"Should we watch a movie?"

"As long as it doesn't involve sex."

"Porn?"

"Ha, I don't think watching porn with you would be a good thing."

"Why not?"

"Because Mae, I just want to fuck you. When you are ready though, not me."

"Oh, that." Mae kissed him quickly and blushed a little. "Sorry."

George just groaned. It was not what he wanted to hear. He was so desperate to get to the next part. This was testing him, he kind of liked it though. It wasn't his usual style and that hadn't served him well so perhaps this would. He hoped it was worth it, and something deep within him told him he was going to be glad he stuck it out.

Mae was making him wait, it was painfully sweet and it was making him think. He had to think of different ways to stay connected to her. In the past he would be sleeping with his girlfriend within a few dates, sometimes it started with a one-night stand. Now he had this incredible woman who wanted to spend time with him, who was funny, smart, sexy and absolutely terrified. The George Webber he thought he was would have run a million miles, Mae was challenging him to be a better version of himself and turning everything he thought about himself and falling in love on its head.

He was falling for her and they hadn't even made it over the mountain yet.

It wasn't hard to fall for her but it was hard to slow down and go at her pace. Every part of him wanted to grab her hand and drag her down the path with him.

Especially when she was absolutely blowing him away every time he saw her.

George invited her to an Industry dinner awards night. His company was up for an award and he wasn't sure what he was more nervous about, the award or taking Mae as his date. It felt like they were both admitting they were a couple when it was still a little unsure where their path was leading.

Mae turned up at his place, hair and make-up done but still in jeans and a shirt. It was one of his favourite looks on her, the girl could wear a pair of jeans. "Wow, you look nice." He mocked her. "Did you not get the memo it was formal?"

"Funny man." Mae stood on tip toes and kissed him quickly. "You are looking handsome." George was almost ready, he just needed his jacket and to finish off his tie, it was hanging loosely around his neck. "You nervous?"

"About you, yes."

"Why?"

"I have a feeling you are going to look incredible and I will struggle to control myself. You blow me away every time."

"You'd love me to blow you..." She laughed a little manically as she disappeared into the bedroom. "…away." She added playfully. "Blow you away."

"So fucking mean." He had to admit, he wouldn't say no. He did wonder if that would be asking too much. If she wasn't ready for sex perhaps that could be a good compromise, for him anyway. She'd never go for it though but it had surprised him that she even joked about it and he would never ask, he wasn't that much of a desperate prick… not quite.

They'd had a tough couple of days recently and Mae had felt a little aggravated by it. She had pulled away from him quickly when he cornered her one day in the hallway and tried to grab her ass. She had slammed into the wall trying to get away from him and panicked when George reached for her. George had been concerned by the look of horror on her face and he remembered the conversation when she told him about what Rick did to her and he apologised instantly but Mae was obviously affected by the whole incident more than he ever imagined.

"Can I ask you something?" George started carefully after they finished dinner and were settling in to watch a movie. They only got a couple of nights together a week, it all depended on Iris and Colton and when they were home. Pops also would have dinner with Gus and Rhiannon once a week so both Mae and Iris could do their own thing. Iris often chose to stay home alone with Colt and Mae was more than happy to leave them in peace.

George had taken the remote from her and turned the TV off.

"Sure." Mae's heart started thumping in her chest. She had no idea where this was going to go but he looked so serious. She started to worry that he was going to tell her that it was either 'sex or they were over' and she just wasn't ready for it yet. She didn't know if she could just push herself over the line to keep him. The afternoon had rattled her too, more than she thought it would.

"I know Rick hurt you physically, but I would really like you to tell me if it was more than that."

"What?"

"Sexual assault, date rape, forced you to have sex? Any of that?" George was so blunt it shocked Mae and she got her back up instantly.

"Why are you asking me that?" Mae cried angrily. "I've told you what happened, don't you believe me?" She went to get up off the couch and George reached for her hand to stop her. "Don't touch me." She reefed her hand away and he let go instantly and Mae fled the room.

Moments later she came out of the bedroom with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder, her hands were shaking and she was struggling not to cry. "Mae, please don't go." George was sitting on the couch still, perched on the edge and he had his hands clasped nervously as they hung between his knees. He hated himself for upsetting her.

"You are just worried about why I won't have sex with you and think there has to be a reason, maybe the reason is I just don't feel turned on by you." It was a lie, that wasn't the reason at all but Mae was angry and lashing out at him.

"Really? Is that the reason? It's not what your body says, it's not what your eyes say, it's not what you say." George didn't believe her.

The silence was painful as Mae just stared at him angrily. "No, it's not." She struggled to understand it herself.

"Don't leave."

"Why?

"You are upset, I upset you and I'm sorry."

"Yes you did." Her brutal honesty caught him off guard. "You hurt me and I didn't think you would." Mae told him what she was feeling constantly and he had to get used to it. In the past it was like getting blood from a stone to get someone to tell you what you'd done wrong, Mae wasn't like that.

"Mae, I was scared that you seemed so freaked out earlier when I went to touch you. That moment in the hallway scared me."

"I was surprised, that's all."

"Okay. I just don't want to do anything to scare you or make you uncomfortable. I've always said I just want to help you and to do that I need to know."

"You don't need to know anything I don't want to tell you. You are never happy; everyone just keeps pushing me. I'm sick of it, why can't people just leave me alone." As soon as she made a move towards the door George jumped up, he couldn't let her leave like this. It wasn't George that was pushing her, it was everyone else and Mae had reached the end of her tether and he was just in the firing line. They couldn't understand why she was holding back.

"Mae, please don't leave. I'm scared if you leave you won't come back."

"You don't trust me."

"I do trust you. God, Mae I'd just rather you tell me everything so I don't do anything to ruin this. If something scares you I want to know." George pleaded with her. "I know you are scared, I don't want you to be scared of me."

"You know all you need to know. I told you what happened, why isn't that enough for you?"

"Okay, okay." He begged her one more time. "Please stay. I really want you to stay."

He could sense her backing down. "I want to stay." She eventually whispered. "I like staying with you."

George reached out and slipped the bag off her shoulder and put it to the side. "Good." He leant over and kissed her forehead and Mae made no move towards him, she may be staying but she was ready to let him off the hook just yet. "Good." She didn't want to talk about it right now and asked him for some time but assured him she wasn't going anywhere. It was his first experience of Mae's tendency to shut down completely when she was stressed or upset.

It wasn't until they crawled into bed and flicked off the lights that Mae said more than two words to him. "He never did anything like that. He never hurt me like that."

"I'm glad." Reaching for her hand under the sheets he held onto it. "I'll never hurt you like that either."

"I trust you. I'm glad that you are here."

Mae rolled into him a little and kissed his shoulder. "Everyone keeps asking me about it, I keep telling them nothing like that happened but they don't believe me. They think I am burying it or lying about it and I am not but it's starting to make me think about things."

"Like what?"

"After he hit me, like not right after but you know days later…." She was struggling and he knew the dark was helping her open up to him. "…he would want to have sex and I struggled to let him, but I never said no, I just didn't like it like I used too, I felt nothing but I also didn't do anything about it. Now I'm scared…"

"Why are you scared?"

"Was that it? I never asked him to stop but I just didn't say no, is that assault? A few times he tried to hit on me and I turned him down and he never pushed me but when we did have sex I just let it happen."

"Okay and right now, how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know and when you bought it up I got angry because I don't know anymore." His heart broke as Mae cried and he rolled over and pulled her into his arms, cradled her head on his bare chest and felt her hot tears pool over his heart. She was killing him; he didn't expect to be so hopelessly enamoured but someone so broken.

"Mae, god Mae, I just want to protect you. I'm not going to keep going on about it, I'm not going to push you, and I am not going to make you do something you don't want to do." George whispered to her. "I just don't want to do something that pushes you away."

"Obviously not." She tried to laugh but it came out strange. "I mean you let me sleep here and don't try and hit on me."

"I want too, just so you know that and when you are ready, girl, you are going to be in for one wild ride." He chuckled. "Like one touch and I might blow." George didn't pussy foot around his desire for her. Mae liked it, she liked that he was keen. It wasn't George that had an issue about sex, it was all Mae.

"You are sweet. I'm lucky I found you."

"Yes, yes you are."

Slowly but surely he was breaking down her walls, brick by brick.

Now it was getting hard. She came out of the bedroom dressed ready for the dinner and she did like the look on his face. Her dress was a long bright yellow halter neck dress and when she turned for him it was backless and while the top was loosely fitted the rest clung to her curves like she was poured into it. She looked stunning.

"Holy crap."

"Good, bad or ugly?"

"So, so good." He took a step closer and ran one hand down her bare back. "Hmmm, I like touching you."

"Careful."

He kissed her shoulder. "Best looking girl in the room."

"I'm the only girl in the room."

"Best looking girl in any room." he chuckled. "I'm surprised though?"

"Why?"

"I thought you'd be in blue; you always wear blue."

"I wear blue because that's the theme of the night. Tonight is Spring Fling, this dress is actually called spring has sprung." Mae swatted his hand away as it slipped down her back and over her ass.

"I'd like a fling with you."

"Isn't this what it is, a bit of a fling?"

"I can show you what a fling looks like if you let me."

Mae just smiled as she undid his tie and laughed when he made a comment about her undressing him. She deftly re-tied it, explaining that Pops had taught them the importance of learning how to dress their man. Nothing sexier, he told them, than the woman you loves fixing your tie. He had taught their mother how to do it and Adam knew that Polly always did it for Sam. Mae didn't tell him that, but she loved doing it anyway, even if George didn't know the reason for it. "Are you nervous?"

"A little."

"That's good." George cocked his head to the side and threw her a strange look. "If you are not nervous, you don't care. I prefer that you care, it's a big deal for you and I am really glad you asked me to come with you. I can't wait."

Mae knew how to work a room; she knew how to work these things and George loved watching her mix and mingle.

Watching George in a room full of people was interesting for her too. It was nice to see people want to talk to him and how funny, professional and engaging he was. When they were talking to someone he kept a hand on her, or arm around her and made sure she was included. He knew people here but Mae didn't and George went out of his way to keep an eye on her. Not that he needed to worry because she'd been doing this for years with her involvement in the Foundation work that she did.

He tracked her down at one stage and interrupted the conversation she was having with a few older women. "Do you mind if I steal my girlfriend for a dance?" he rested his hand on her back.

"I didn't know he could dance." Mae cheekily told the ladies. "I think he might be a keeper."

George led her towards the dancefloor and spun her into his arms. Mae loved the feeling of his body close to hers, his arms around her always made her feel safe. He was so patient with her and she did wonder how much longer he would wait for her to get all her shit in one pile. He kept telling her that he would wait as long as she wanted but he also let her know that he wanted all of her.

"Your Momma taught you well."

"She did. It's a charm offensive."

"It's working?"

"Is it?"

"Hmmm." Mae hummed. "I've had a nice night. I'm proud of you." George's company had won the award they were nominated for and Mae had loved listening to him give his speech. He thanked his team, making sure everyone knew that they were the reason he was standing up on that stage. As he made his way back to the table Mae was waiting to congratulate him, it had surprised her how proud she was of him.

"First time I've actually enjoyed one of these nights."

"Really? I love them."

"I can tell."

"Get used to it. I'd love you to come to the charity dinner with me?" It was still a few months away but George did like that Mae thought he'd still be around.

"I'd come anywhere with you."

Mae threw her head back and laughed. "Is that a line? I feel like you are giving me a line."

"I'll give you a line." Mae's smile turned from genuine to a little forced. "I'll settle for a kiss later."

Mae started to panic a little and her anxiety went through the roof as the car service drove them home. She didn't know why but the closer they got home the more George noticed the change in her. He was hoping for a different outcome from tonight but quickly realised he wasn't going to get it. "Hey Mae." He squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear. "Don't worry. It's okay."

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You just aren't ready. It's okay. You are here with me, that's all I care about." When she tried to apologise he stopped her. "Don't Mae. There is nothing wrong with you. This is where we are at, that's all."

As far as George was concerned if Mae stayed he'd be okay and for a while he was worried she wasn't even going to do that. "Please don't go home, not tonight. I really want you to stay."

"You want more than that, I can tell."

"Of course I want more Mae, why wouldn't I? You are beautiful, I really like you , I care about you a lot and I like spending time with you. Of course I want more but I haven't spent all this time just to give up because I am frustrated and can't control myself around you. I think I've proven that I can." Mae could tell he was frustrated.

"I'm frustrated too."

"Why? Tell me what's frustrating you? Me?"

"No, me. I just don't understand why I feel like this, why I am panicking and why I feel anxious because I know it would be amazing? I can't turn my mind off and just let my body take over. I want too and that's what is frustrating me." Mae couldn't even sit still. "And you, I am frustrating you so I think I should go home tonight."

"No." George ran his hand over his face in frustration and just a touch of despair. "I tell you what, I will make a deal with you. Give me an hour. Let me just spend an hour with you, and if you still want to go I won't stop you. I promise I won't go where you don't want me to go but can you just give me an hour?"

Mae gave him an hour and George was very attentive, he drew circles on her back as she lay next to him on the bed and he talked to her, asked her what she liked and didn't like and just touched her. He kissed her shoulders, back, neck and arms. He touched her face lightly, brushing her hair back from her forehead and curled chunks of it around his fingers. "Hey Mae…" he wiggled down until they were facing each other. "…I'm going to kiss you now, that's all."

Mae responded to the gentle pressure of his lips on hers and it didn't take them long to work their way into each other's arms, George rolled her onto her back and she did feel comfortable with his weight on her, pushing her down into the mattress. She could feel his reaction and Mae pulled away a little before taking a breath and letting him kiss her again. Just when she felt she was about to give into him, George gave her one last kiss and moved away. "I told you I just wanted one hour. I'm not going to push you, I don't want you to regret this tomorrow, I don't want to regret it. So, we will stop but I still want you to stay?"

Mae agreed to stay.

George waited and watched as Mae got changed out of her dress, she had her back to him but did appreciate the view anyway. She pulled on one of his t-shirts and then pulled down her underwear and replaced it with a pair of boxer shorts, which she always slept in when she was here. "Well that was a highlight." He grumbled as she went into the bathroom. "Thank you for my reward."

"Reward."

"For being perfect gentleman." George waited until Mae had finished cleaning her teeth and washing her face before he stripped off. He loved that she watched him, he loved the look of appreciation on her face. She was used to him just sleeping in his boxer briefs and wished she had the courage to take her shirt off and at least feel his skin on hers. She was craving it but the terror hiding inside her was holding her back.

George opened his arms and slept with her curled up beside him. He felt they had taken a huge step forward tonight, he had to believe they had because he couldn't keep this up forever.


	19. Take It Back

Mae opened her eyes slowly, she had warm tingling sensation flow through her as she snuggled into the side of him. His skin was warm and he smiled without opening his eyes, just the feeling of her warm body so close to his was enough. "Good Morning."

"Hi, good morning." Mae was surprisingly shy.

"Sleep well?"

"Eventually." When she felt him turn his head she lifted hers and smiled at him. "It was a late night."

"It was a great night, best night of my life so far."

George had taken her out for dinner with some friends. Things may have been going slow between them, but they were going well and he wanted his best friends to meet her. They'd had a lot of laughs and Mae had been the life of the party. She was engaging and had some wild stories to tell and he loved watching her. She was very animated; her hands were going everywhere and she looked stunningly happy and George just sat back and let her go.

"Man…" His best mate, Rory was impressed. Mae had gone to the bathroom and it was the first chance they had to talk. "…she's way too good for you."

"Don't I know it."

"Everything good?" Rory winked and he knew what he was asking and he didn't want talk about it. It was unfair to Mae, not to mention just a shitty thing to do. Rory had always been a little rough around the edges but George wasn't getting involved in that.

"Mae's fantastic. I am really enjoying spending time with her."

"I bet you are." Rory was watching her weave her way back to the table. He wanted his buddy to be happy, he deserved a bit of luck in the love department. He was a great guy and they'd been friends since High School. Rory was in a long term relationship and he was recently engaged to Emme and George was looking forward to his wedding and hopefully Mae would come with him, he wanted to show her off. Pending wedlock didn't stop Rory from enjoying life though and he was still happy to walk on the edge of what was considered polite. "I'm happy for you. After your last disaster you deserve it."

George's last girlfriend was a bit of a nutter. Milla was a level 10 clinger and all she ever did was berate him for one thing or another, she didn't actually seem to like anything about him. She'd get shitty if he stood up for her, telling him that she was quite capable of looking after herself and then in the next breath expected him to fall over himself to make her happy. She would fly off the handle at him over some small shit, then cry foul when he snapped back at her. She was a manipulative shrew and George was too pussy whipped to notice. When he called her out for suddenly 'catching up with her friend, Thomas' even though he wasn't allowed to look at another woman he finally told her to take a hike and it felt like such a relief.

"Don't remind me, I still get shivers up my spine about that one."

"Like what were you thinking?"

"Nothing, obviously."

He reached for Mae's hand when she sat back down. He did like that she didn't make a big deal out of a PDA, a quick hand squeeze, a hand on the leg or arm was enough. She wasn't all over him and nor did she want him all over her. They were comfortable with each other and it showed through their body language.

For two people who hadn't had sex yet, only some steamy make-out sessions, particularly last night when Mae climbed onto his lap and ground her hips into him, she admitted she loved the feeling of him and it was obvious to both of them that when it did happen they would be a force to be reckoned with and that was exciting and the build-up was excruciating but they were kind of loving it. They were behaving like teenagers. Everyone else thought they were already sleeping together by the way the responded to each other's proximity. It was going to help in the long run, they were sure of it.

Mae was stretched out on the bed after getting changed when they got home while George jumped in the shower. They'd met up straight from work and he needed to wash the day off. "Want to come?" He'd asked her cheekily, ever hopeful that one day she'd surprise him and say yes.

"Tempting."

George threw himself down beside her after his shower with just a towel around his waist, he had hoped she might join him but it was wishful thinking. He had to crack her hard shell first, it was finally showing signs of weakness though. Mae was getting more comfortable around him and she was used to him not wearing much now. He'd walk around the apartment wearing very little and Mae relaxed around him after the awards dinner when she had pushed herself out of her comfort zone and undressed in front of him. Now when Mae was only in her underwear he just tickled her side and kept walking. Mae had sat and watched him recently when he came out of the shower and dropped his towel and George caught her staring at him and she blushed, he casually got dressed in absolutely no hurry and winked at her on his way out of the room. "They liked you."

Mae wasn't wearing a lot which surprised him and it left little to his imagination, she was confident with her body and around him now but this wasn't helping his ability to keep his hands to himself. He was certainly getting a lesson in patience. "It was fun. I wasn't too crazy was I?"

"A little, cute crazy though. I kinda can't wait to go to a family dinner if that's a preview."

"That was tame. That was just me being crazy, you wait until you get it in stereo. When we all get into it you just need sit back and watch the show, it's like full on surround sound."

"Can't wait."

Mae had thought about inviting him but wasn't sure if it was wise to expose him to that just yet. She also worried about how her family would react. Gus was going to give him a hard time, she knew it and Adam wouldn't be much better. They were just protective and after what she had suffered through she couldn't blame them. George, if he wanted to stick around had to go through it, there was no way she could stop them.

"Do you mind if I have a look at this?" He was running his hands over her side, where he knew her tattoo was. He had seen it a few times but Mae hadn't really talked about it all that much, he knew it was about her siblings and had links to her Dad but that was it and he wanted to know more about it. He also just wanted to touch her and perhaps that was a good place to start.

They been on a relentless path lately, the end was in sight and Mae had asked him recently if she could just spend some time getting to know his body. He was happy to lie back and let her explore him, obviously she didn't go as far as he wanted her to but it was better than nothing. Mae stripped his shirt off, kissed his chest, traced his muscles, unbuckled his jeans and ran her hands down inside the waist of his jeans and over his hips. He closed his eyes waiting to feel her hand slip lower but her phone rang and killed the moment. "Fuck." He groaned. "Fuck." Her Pops had impeccable timing.

"I'm sorry." She looked at his disappointed face. He forgot all about it when he saw Mae's panic.

"You have to go?" Mae scrambled off the bed as soon as she spoke to Adam. She nodded quickly and hunted for her shoes. George grabbed her bag and walked her to her car when she was done with the call. "Will you be okay?" He kissed and hugged her quickly. He had offered to come with her but Mae didn't think now was the time.

"Yeah, sorry George, I'm worried about him."

"Go. I will talk to you soon. Let me know how he is." George hadn't met him yet but he knew that he had to just suck it up. Mae was always going to drop everything for her Pops and he was okay with that. She had messaged him when she got home and then again in the morning to say they were taking him to hospital.

Adam hadn't been well and they ended up taking him to hospital the next morning much to his disgust but he spent three days in with a mild chest infection that they were worried would become pneumonia. George had spoken to Mae everyday but he didn't see her for almost a week. He'd sent her a fruit box and organised pizzas to be delivered to the hospital for dinner one night which Mae appreciated. Lola had just nudged Mae and reminded her that he was probably worth hanging on to.

Nothing was going to interrupt them tonight. He'd ignore all but a natural disaster right now. "Okay." George lifted her tank top slowly exposing the tattoo and just a little of the underside of her breast, but he focussed on the tattoo for now. Running his fingers over each of the animals he asked about each of them. "The Rhino is you obviously. Why a Rhino?"

Mae played with the little curls of dark blond hair around his ears and watched George. "When I was born Dad was in the middle of the Utah desert bringing Ada his Rhino from Kenya back to Chicago. Mom had a fall, all totally Lola's fault of course and went into early labour. He didn't make it back in time and I was born before he got here. We were all given an animal companion when we were born and they bought me a Rhino. I still have it." George bent down and kissed it and Mae sighed. "I love that thing, Ada is still at Lincoln Park, I should take you to meet her one day."

"I'd like that. And the Leopard?"

"Lola bear, Dad bought home a tiny leopard cub before she was born and it bonded with Mom, it used to sleep on her belly and Lola kicked it off one night and it slid off Mom's belly, they always talked about it. So she got a leopard." He traced the leopard with his fingers.

"I find it kind of freaky how you just say your Dad bought home a leopard cub like it's the most normal thing in the world. It's a freakin' leopard."

"It was the most normal thing in the world, in our world anyway." Mae's eyes became unfocussed for a moment and he wondered where she went. "We had a crazy life for a while."

"Crazy." He kissed her skin softly and suddenly Mae was back.

"The giraffe is Alfie, I picked it for him."

"Don't tell me you had a giraffe in the backyard?"

"No, although Lola remembers watching a giraffe give birth, I don't remember it. I love giraffe's though and I think they are just so gentle and majestic. I picked it out for him as his animal when he was born. Mom was really sick with Alfie, like spewed for nine months; ten, twenty times a day. She was in hospital a lot and it was awful. I know that she was around but we weren't allowed near her. Apparently even the smell of us made her spew." His fingers brushed over her skin and she felt them on the sensitive skin of her breast as he kissed the giraffe. He was half laying across her and Mae loved the feeling of the weight of his body on hers, she felt safe here. "We ripped it's head off about four times and Alfie would lose his shit for days until Mom fixed it."

"You lot scare me."

"We were just kids."

He circled his fingers around the last animal. "So Iris is a wombat?"

"Yep, we were living in Australia when she was born and it's a native Australian animal. I'm impressed you know what it is?"

"I will admit I checked it out after I saw the tattoo. I'm a diligent student, I like to know things." He made Mae laughed when he described his google search…cute, fat, brown, hairy animal with short legs.

"Alfie picked it, I wanted a koala and Lola wanted an emu, she was fucking obsessed with emus. I mean they are nasty fuckers but she loves them, hence Sam has an emu. I'm not sure why Alfie chose a wombat and we were pissed with him, he was just being an annoying boy, but she's our wombat."

He kept touching it. "It's beautiful, it's a beautiful tattoo and I love what it means to you."

"We've all got them, even Bug. That was her 18th birthday present from us. She was so excited because she'd waited four years to get hers done and we all took her. Alfie came home for it and that sent Iris into a flap, because he's her favourite. It was fantastic though. It means a lot to us."

"I can tell." Taking a chance he brushed his fingers over the soft swell of her breast and then kissed it, inching further away from the tattoo and Mae lifted her arm over her head and used her other hand to run her fingers through his hair. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

Mae enjoyed it, she was melting and the longer it went on the more she felt her fear fading. She ran her hand down his back and dug her fingernails in a little and it urged him on. George slipped his hand under her tank and let it roam over her soft skin. "You feel good."

"So do you. I like you touching me."

"I want to do more than touch you."

Mae ran her fingers over his jaw softly and settled on his cheek as he rested his head on her exposed stomach and when he looked up at her she smiled. "I'm not scared."

George understood what she was telling him, he scrambled a little as he moved to kiss her and she matched the urgency of his sudden movement. They smashed into each other and Mae sat up and let him pull her tank over her head. "Oh…" he took her in as she lay back on the bed. "Oh, sweet Mae." She shivered a little when he ran one hand down her chest and grasped one breast, bringing his mouth down to capture her nipple and he liked that she moaned with pleasure. There was no going back, there was no stopping now.

Mae let him go for a few moments before sliding her own hands over his hips and tossing the towel aside. He stopped what he was doing when Mae's hand closed around him. "Baby…"

Before long he grabbed her wrist, "Stop." He kissed her quickly. "It will be over before it starts."

Helping Mae get completely naked didn't take long he savoured everyone moment. He fumbled for the condoms that had been sitting untouched in the drawer beside his bed for weeks. They were past the point of no return, but as he was ready to finally feel all of her he still checked in to make sure she really wanted this, that she was ready because once they had broken the seal he had no intention of letting her walk away any time soon. He was ready for her; he'd been ready for her for weeks.

"You talk too much." Mae pulled him down towards her. "Stop talking."

He didn't stop talking, he talked to her constantly. "You are perfect." He told her sweetly as he paused to enjoy the feeling of warmth that spread through him when he felt her muscles tighten around him and her little moan of pleasure spread through him like warm honey. "You feel perfect. Open your eyes Mae, look at me." She opened her eyes and he loved how cloudy with lust they were and she smiled and bit her bottom lip as her fingers dug into the skin on his shoulders. George slid one arm under her lower back and helped her arch herself up and tilt her hips so he could go deeper and going deeper sent them both tumbling over the edge.

As frustrating as it had been, it had been almost six weeks since they had started seeing each other, it was worth the wait and they had used the time to get to know each other without just blowing it on in the bedroom and filling the gaps in later. Not his usual way of doing things, and apparently not Mae's usual style either but hopefully it would stand them in good stead. It felt perfect, a perfect moment in time and he stayed still for a few moments and let it wash over them.

As soon as Mae opened her eyes the next morning she felt lighter but overcome with shyness, which was unusual for her and it freaked her out a little. What if in the cold hard light of day and now that they had popped the cork, and it hadn't just been once, he realised that it wasn't worth it, that she wasn't worth it despite how breathless they had left each other last night. "Any regrets?"

"Yes." His eyes were closed and he was smiling. "That we actually went to sleep."

"You needed to recover your strength. You worked hard."

"And I am now raring to go."

"I can tell."

They spent all their energy last night and just naturally drifted off to sleep tangled around each other after a few hours of enjoying their new found intimacy. It had been so long since Mae had enjoyed the warmth and comfort of a naked body beside her, shielding her, protecting her and she felt safe in George's arms.

"Best night of my life." Pulling her naked body closer into his side there was only one way this was going to end.

"You are sweet."

"Hmmm, I'd love to hear that I am hot and sexy as fuck and had a dick that you'd like to swing from."

Mae laughed and then kissed one cheek "You are hot…" she kissed the other cheek "…you are as sexy as fuck…" she slid her hand under the sheet that was draped over his waist and grabbed hold of him. "…and you have a dick I am about to swing from."

Mae squealed when George picked her up and threw her onto her back so that he could press her into the mattress. He pinned her arms above her head and attacked her neck and chest with his mouth. "Dick swinging with you is my new favourite thing to do."

Mae cocked her head to the side. "Huh, mine too."

By the time they dragged themselves out of bed they got as far as the shower. They were sweaty, "although you smell like sex and I like that." George reminded her. "You are driving me insane."

"That was my plan. Treat him mean, keep him keen."

George had his hands all over her and he loved that Mae let him. It hadn't surprised him how open she was. He always got the feeling that getting her over the hump was the hardest part. She was a beautiful sexy woman who obviously enjoyed sex and knew what she liked and didn't like. Now that they had broken the seal it was time to really open up and explore the next part of their relationship.

Breakfast was almost lunch by the time they got out of the bedroom and while George was making them a tea Mae was telling him that she was worried about taking him to a family dinner, they couldn't really put it off any longer. Pops kept asking her about meeting her new man, he needed to '_check him out. To make sure he is good enough for you.' _

George teased her. "You embarrassed?"

"What? No?"

"I am house trained."

"I just know that my family will be a little bit Ruzek."

"Ruzek?"

"A collective term for a big bunch of idiots all acting like dicks. They will be assholes because of Rick."

"Lucky I am not like him; you know that right?"

Mae winked at him. "Hey, I wouldn't have spent the last six weeks on all this if I thought you were anything like him. I know it's been a bit shitty but looking back now I think it was right."

"Me too." George had spent a lot of time reassuring Mae that he was okay with taking it slow. "And for the record, for the hundredth time, it wasn't shitty." He wasn't sure she believed it sometimes and he did have moments when he was frustrated but they had a good thing going and the sex, when it finally happened had been incredible. "And the reward was worth every single frustrating moment."

"It was amazing, so so good."

George leant on the bench while he waited for the kettle to boil. "You know one thing I find amusing about you? And I know I am going to fuck it up but how many fucking names do you have?" He knew her name was Ruzek Hollister but she never really used that name. It was always just Hollister. That was what he introduced herself as and what her business card said.

"What? I have one name."

"Yes, Mae, or Mabel…" He had been amused when she told him her name was actually Mabel. He had overheard her having a very animated discussion with her brother and she had called him Alfred, suddenly she huffed _'then don't call me Mabel'_ George cocked his eye at her and once she had hung up from talking to Alfie she told him her name was Mabel and it was used when people were being pissy. He thought it was cute and he often called her Mabel, not when he was pissed with her but when he was flirting with her. "..or Monkey. You are a gummy bear and Iris is Iris or Bug or her Royal Highness, or Lola or Lola Bear or the Little Zookeeper. And as far as I know Alfie or Alfred only has one name.

"Termite."

"Right.." he laughed. "How could I possibly know that? It makes perfect sense too."

"Mom went on some epic rant when they found out she was pregnant, she was heaving her guts up and told Dad that he had infected her with termites and they chewed through her cervix…" George cringed at the thought and graphic description. "…it kinda stuck. Actually, if you want to know Monkey comes from Monkey Mae-Bell and I don't know where that came from, Gus I think or maybe Pops." She shrugged. "Also, sometimes I get GD2."

"What?"

"GD2, granddaughter two. I didn't have a name for a few days so that's what Pops called me."

"Awesome." George rolled his eyes playfully. "You could be Mae Ruzek Hollister, Mabel Hollister, Mabel Ruzek Hollister…. Monkey, Monkey Mae-Bell…GB…Gummy Bear… GD2….it just keeps going."

She got the hint but was having fun with him. "Well they could have chucked in Burgess somewhere, that was Mom's middle name, she was Polly Elizabeth Burgess Ruzek."

"Shit."

"You've been thinking about this for a while." She laughed, it was an amusing rant and she liked it. Ranting was what they were all good at and she knew he'd fit in well. "Mabel Elizabeth Ruzek Hollister. It's not that hard."

"I'm worried. I'm worried that I will call you the wrong thing or someone else and the shit will hit the fan."

"The shit will hit the fan no matter what you call me. Just so you know."

"So I can call you my little fuck buddy?"

"You could, and Pops will probably grill your nuts on his BBQ."

"Well that's a pleasant thought." He made her a cup of tea and one for himself. Mae loved how he had changed to tea when she was around, particularly in the mornings. He loved his coffee but it was easier to drink tea with her. When she asked him about it he just shrugged and told her that he quite liked it and he was trying to woo her.

"I'll protect you; I am quite fond of them now." Mae deadpanned. "It's tidy little package."

"Little?" George scoffed. "Harsh."

"Are you making me breakfast?"

"No." He sat up on the stool next to her and pushed her playfully on her shoulder. "But you are going to make me breakfast. Get on it woman."

"I'm a guest."

"Mabel, Mabel, Mabel…I've seen you naked, I've kissed you in places that would make your Pops hair curl. We are so far past guest status it's not funny."

"I take it all back."

"You can't take it back, didn't your…." He stopped himself just in time but Mae knew what he was about to say. He was about to say didn't your parents teach you that once you had sex you'd never be a virgin again. Mae never really got to have that conversation with her parents, she learnt all that from MiMi, Lola and her Aunt.

"Nope…but Pops certainly made sure I knew it." Mae brushed it off.

George reached for her hand. "I'm sorry Mae."

"Hey, it's okay." She patted his face with her free hand. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. Fucking sucks though. I would have given anything for an epic Dad rant about someone popping my cherry."

"Just for that I will cook you breakfast."

"Thank you Baby." Mae kissed him quickly. "I like my bacon crispy."

"I know." He headed into the kitchen and Mae rested her elbows on the bench and watched him. "So what's this about popping cherries?"


	20. Bus Crash

"How's George?"

"He's good. Great in fact."

Lola could barely stop herself from squealing. It was like she had suddenly regressed and they were teenagers again. "You are sleeping with him aren't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"A twinkle in your eye and suddenly you don't seem so uptight."

"I wasn't uptight." Mae crossed her arms across her chest. This was such a role reversal. She wasn't quite sure what happened to her sister when she hooked up with Riley but she had become a loose unit. Not in a slutty, sleep with anything type of way but Riley bought out her inner horny goat.

"You were uptight, but now you've got laid you are much more relaxed."

"Lola…" Mae sniggered as she tried to chastise her. "For someone who spent most of her teenage years freaked out about sex you sure have turned a corner. You used to be such a prude; Riley must be good. I'm surprised you ever got laid."

"It's always the quiet ones, don't you know." Lola mocked her. "Unlike you, all penises and vagina's and yet you locked your box away from poor George for how long?"

"Fuck you."

"No George fucked you."

Mae had had enough. "Yes he did, and I liked it, I liked it a lot. They guy can swing his dick like nothing I've had before." She laughed wickedly at the look on her sister's face. "Too far?"

"Just a touch." Lola nodded. "I'm happy for you though. You look really happy."

"I am happy. George is a sweetheart, he gets me, he's very patient and he makes me laugh." He had been incredible, and he had made Mae feel safe and comfortable. She had taught him patience as well, he had to work hard to get Mae to trust him. Not that he did anything to make her not trust him but Mae had to realise that herself. Dating George had bought up a lot of memories that Mae thought she had dealt with but they got there eventually and it had been great.

"And?"

"He makes me feel safe."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you love him?"

"There are definitely feelings there, a lot of feelings. It's something that's for sure." Mae was pretty sure were this was heading, George seemed to be as happy as she was. If something went pear shaped it would be a complete shock to her, one from which she doubted she'd ever recover from.

It was still another month before Mae took him to dinner. She'd met George's family and they had dinner with Lola and Riley at their house and they had laughed a lot. but she just baulked at taking him to dinner because she was worried how they would treat him. At least with Lola and Riley knowing him a little he had an ally if the shit hit the fan.

And the shit hit the fan.

"Why are you being such a fucking asshole?" Mae pushed her chair out from the table and threw her napkin on her plate as she yelled at her Uncle. "Fuck you Gus."

"Mabel. Sit down." Adam wasn't having this. "You don't talk to anyone like that in my house."

"It's my house too, I live here and I deserve some respect." She was willing herself not to cry. "So does George."

Gus had been awful, he had slammed George from the moment he walked in. He had questioned him, warned him to keep his hands to himself and told him what he would do if he ever hurt Mae. "Like that other fucking asshole did."

"Mae…" George reached for her hand. "It's okay, don't worry about it."

"I am not fucking sitting here listening to this. Why are you?"

"Okay." He stood up. "Let's go outside." There was no point making it a bigger deal than it already was. George didn't mind the interrogation, he expected it after what Mae had been through. It was a little rough but all it showed him was how much they cared about her and that could never be a bad thing. Her family was always going to be protective; Mae had told him that but yet she seemed shocked by it.

She was angry and George was surprised when she shrugged away from him when he tried to touch her. "Don't."

"Mae talk to me."

"That's bullshit." She spat at him, wildly pointing back to the house. "Why are you okay with that?"

"I am not, but what's the point of saying anything. He's just worried about you, I can't blame him for that. I think it's a good thing that your family cares about you that much."

"Yes but they are not assholes and Gus was being an asshole."

"Gus saw you bloodied and bruised. He was always going to react like this. You knew this."

"Don't fucking condescend me. I expected some good natured banter or ribbing but I also expected that he would be a fucking adult."

"He's a cop, he's protective. I imagine this is what it would be like if your Dad was here?"

"Don't you dare bring my Dad into this. He wasn't an asshole, Gus is an asshole."

"Okay Mae, I understand that you are upset, you have every right to be, but if you are worried that I am offended by it or if it's going to make me change my mind about you or stop caring about you then don't be, nothing that's happened here tonight has made me think any less of you, or your family."

"They can fucking rot right about now."

"Hey, Hey." He tried to get her to look at him. "Mabel, please stop. It's not worth it."

She was about to say something when Gus came out and he felt her stiffen. "I owe you an apology, both of you. I shouldn't have behaved like that, you are right, it's disrespectful and rude. This is not how this family behaves. I'm sorry."

Mae wasn't having it though. She was still too riled up to even listen. "Whatever Angus." She spat at him through gritted teeth.

"Look, Mae I'm sorry. I was a dick. I'm sorry George, I shouldn't have behaved like that." Gus had his work cut out for him. "Mae, come on Monkey."

"I know I fucked up last time, I know I let everyone down because I put up with it for so long but I didn't know at the start what he was like, until that first time he wasn't a bad guy. It took a lot for me to put myself out there again and I found someone who I trust, who cares about me and what I went through and it was really fucking hard. I wanted him to come and meet you all because that's how much he means to me. I can't believe you were so horrible to George and to me, I did nothing wrong."

"Of course you did nothing wrong. Monkey I'm sorry."

"I know you were all disappointed in me. I know I let everyone down but it wasn't my fault. I didn't deserve that and I don't deserve this either." Mae sounded so utterly broken.

"It wasn't your fault; you didn't let anyone down and I am not disappointed in you. I am disappointed in myself because you were hurting and I didn't know." Gus was starting to get emotional. "I feel like I let Polly and Sam down because I was supposed to take care of you, they asked me to look after you and I will never forgive myself for that."

George could feel that Mae was relenting, that she was letting go of her anger. It was becoming very raw and the air felt heavy. He just stood next to her with his hand in the middle of her back, steadying her. Watching her now he realised one thing, or at least he finally admitted what he was feeling to himself. He was in love with her. It had been fast; they were barely catching their breaths in this whole emotional rollercoaster they'd been on but he was in love with her and despite it being a crappy night that made him feel good.

"I never wanted Mom and Dad as much as I did that night, every time it happened I cried because they weren't here to help me. I wanted them here to help me. I almost went to the Zoo, to the tree because…" Mae burst into tears. "They would have known what to do. They would have helped me. They wouldn't have let me get hurt." It was a desperate gut-wrenching admission from Mae and it broke both George and Gus's heart.

Gus stepped forward and George pressed a kiss to her temple and then moved aside and let Gus embrace her. She needed him more right now, he would bide his time. They needed to go through this together. Gus shook his hand and he headed inside and left them alone. He knew Mae would be fine now and he wanted them to say what they needed to say. "I'm so sorry Monkey. I wish, with all my heart that they were here for you. I hate that I wasn't. You guys mean the world to me, I was devastated that I didn't know what was going on, it hurt to think that you'd been through so much and you were alone. I couldn't stop you from hurting about your Mom and Dad, but I could have stopped this and I didn't."

"You didn't know."

"It doesn't make it any easier to deal with though. I'd let you down, I'd let Lola and Alfie and Iris down because I didn't protect you. I'd let your parents down and I'd let my parents down. I felt like shit. I know this isn't about me, it's about you and you got hurt and I felt useless."

"Gus, you beat the shit out of him. You weren't useless."

"It should never have come to that."

"But it did and now I am moving on, I have George. I want you to like him, because I do, I like him a lot. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't like him."

"Hey Monkey." Gus leant back and brushed her hair out of her eyes and waited until she looked at him. His beautiful niece, his Monkey Mae-bell. "I like him. I really do. He put up with a lot of shit tonight and through it all he had your back. He took it because he cares about you, a lot. I think he might just be a little bit in love with you, and why wouldn't he be, you are spectacular."

Mae chuckled. "He told me that once, on our second date. He told me I was spectacular."

"He's not wrong. The boy's got taste."

Everyone's eyes flew to George when he came back in. "Where's Mae? Is she okay?" Adam looked worried. He wanted to go out there but Lola had told him to stay. He hadn't appreciated it. When Mae and George first left he had given Gus both barrels. _'How dare you treat Mabel like that. Grow up Angus. I know you are pissed with Rick but it's not her fault and it's not George's fault. He didn't know her then and he's making her happy now. Can't you see that.'_ Lola had rested her hand on Pops arm and tried to calm him down. They hated seeing him so upset.

"She will be. She's just talking to Gus."

"Has he apologised? I should apologise, I should never have let him get so out of control."

"It's okay Adam, I understand that you are all worried about Mae, trust me I am too but I would never hurt her. She's been hurt too much, and for too long and I know some of that I can't change and it will always hurt for her but it will never be me. That's not the man I was raised to be. I promise you that."

"You are making her happy. That's good enough for me." All Adam wanted was to see these kids happy. They'd been through enough, they didn't deserve what they'd had thrown at their feet, they were little kids and now they are adults and before he went he wanted them to be happy, safe and loved.

"She's one of the most amazing women I've ever met. I'm just happy she lets me spend time with her. She makes me better and she makes me want to be better and the man she deserves. Mae has taught me so much about myself and who I want to be. She deserves to be treated like a queen."

Mae had never realised the depth of Gus's struggle with his sister's death. In some ways she only saw it from her point of view, she'd lost her parents, she never quite grasped that for Gus, it was his sister. He'd known her for a lot longer than Mae ever did, even though it was a completely different relationship and you couldn't compare them but Polly had been in Gus's life for 43 years and then she was gone. She couldn't imagine not having Lola or Alfie or Iris around. "When your Mom died I had to be strong for you, for my parents but I was hurting. They had to be there for you and at times I struggled with that because I looked at Viv and thought, how dare Polly die and take MiMi and Pops away from my daughter, because some days that's what it felt like. It wasn't fair, but I had suddenly stopped being Gus and started being 'Polly's brother' and I loved being her brother, don't get me wrong but I was grieving too, I was grieving for all the things I'd never get, I was grieving because my child would never have an Aunt or Uncle."

"I'm sorry Gus."

"Mae, don't be sorry. It's just the way it was. I was angry that they didn't want me to look after you but I got a letter from your Mom and she explained it." Gus's voice was shaking so much it shocked Mae a little. "She did want me in your life, she left me in charge of your future. When you got hurt Mae I thought of your Mom and Dad and how heartbroken they would be to see you suffering so badly. I felt I had let you down, that I had let them down because they wanted me to hug you and keep you safe and I didn't do that. I hated myself because I didn't see it, I didn't see the signs. It took me a long time to realise that none of this is my fault, like it's not your fault. Tonight I forgot that it's not George's fault either, he wasn't here, he didn't do this to you. All I saw was a guy who has the potential to hurt you and I don't think I can handle that happening again."

"I don't think George is that guy. I think he might be my guy though."

"I hope so Monkey. I hope you have found your one in a million. That's all I want for you. I want you to be as happy as they were, as happy as I am, as happy as MiMi and Pops were. I want all that for you, I really do and I hope that he is it."

"I love you Bus." It wasn't often that they called him Bus now, it had just faded away as they got older but when the moment needed it they always called him by his nickname. It meant more to both of them in that moment than in any other.

"To the moon Monkey Mae-Bell, to the moon."

George was happy to see them come back in hand in hand. There had obviously been tears and when she sat back down she reached for George's hand and he leant over and whispered in her ear. Mae just squeezed his hand and nodded. Gus watched them, he hated himself that he was too busy being a dick to notice how much they obviously cared about it each other.

Lola thought that George now deserved a proper Ruzek dinner. He'd been warned about them and so far it didn't seem insane so Lola bought the insanity. It was only fair. "Did Mae ever tell you about the time she broke Dad's penis?"

"Ummm, No." George spluttered. "You did what?"

"I didn't break Dad's penis. Jeez Lola." Mae pretended to sound annoyed but she loved it, it told her they had all moved on and George was welcome at their table.

"Do I want to know?"

"No."

"Of course he does." Alfie joined in, he had stayed pretty quiet through the previous disaster. He actually liked George and thought that Gus was being a little harsh. When Alfie had tried to jump in Gus shot him down and just kept going. He felt a little helpless at the time, now he felt guilty for not putting a stop to it earlier.

Adam just sighed. There was no stopping them now, but this was an infinitely better conversation than the previous one.

"Can we not. I almost prefer the shit fest of earlier." Mae sulked. "And his penis wasn't broken. It was just a little damaged and it wasn't my fault. Mom just freaked out because I was watching them. She did the damage."

"You were obsessed with sex."

"I was not, at least I wasn't a prude like you." Mae shot back at her sister.

"You were obsessed I mean Dad had a meltdown one day at the dinner table because all you and Alfie talked about was penises and vaginas. Iris had headbutted Dad in the nuts in the shower and you two just carried on and on about it until Dad lost it, we weren't allowed to talk for the rest of dinner."

"I'm going to have a meltdown soon." Adam muttered under his breath.

"How do you remember all this?" Mae sniped.

"How could I not? They talked about it all the time. So…back to the broken penis."

"It wasn't fucking broken and whatever damage was done was Mom's fault. I didn't know what they were doing."

"Lola used to talk about it all the time. How Sam used to love squashing Polly, we couldn't eat squash for years because she'd start on about her Dad squashing her Mom in the nude." Gus felt that Lola needed to be bought down a peg or two. She wasn't getting out of this scot free. "I can't wait for Sam to learn all this."

"Stay away from my son. He's an innocent baby."

Alfie leant over and patted his sister's hand. "He's got Ruzek blood in his veins, he's got no hope of avoiding this."

Adam took a quick moment before Mae and George left to talk to George. "Gus didn't need to do that tonight. I'm sorry you had to put up with it. It wasn't fair."

"It's okay Adam."

"No it's not. We love Mae, that's all it is."

"I know and I know how much her family means to her, it was the first thing I learned about Mae. Don't worry about it. I've forgotten it already." He assured him. "I'm more worried about the broken penis story, that I didn't know. She kinda scares me a little."

Adam laughed. "You seem like a good man, take care of my little Mabel."

"I will." He shook Adam's hand. "It was so good to finally to meet you. She talks about you a lot and I really wanted to see what the fuss was all about."

"You are welcome anytime. You are welcome in my house."

"Thanks Adam."

Mae was quiet on the way back to George's place, even though they had a lot of laughs later on she was subdued. "Mae, please don't worry about tonight. They only did it because they love you and want to make sure you are okay; I don't blame them for that."

"Can we not talk about it?"

"Okay. Can I just say though, your family is great. I can see why you love being around them."

"Sometimes." Mae shrugged. "Let's just drop it." She didn't want to talk about it and if George had learnt one thing it was when Mae didn't want to talk about her family, she didn't talk. Nothing he could do would change that and the first few times he tried he had been shut down. Mae had a strong will and he knew she needed it to get this far he just had to figure out how to manage it.

He turned off the car when they pulled into his parking space and faced Mae. "I will say one more thing about it all then I am done. Standing there with you outside, seeing you and your pain and heartache, you still looked beautiful and I finally realised that this…" he touched his chest. "…this feeling I have… I love you Mae. I'm so in love with you. I want to be with you, I want to live through this life with you."

"Yeah?"

"Oh god yes."

Mae stared at him for a moment and then leant over and placed one hand on his cheek, her thumb dragging over his cheek bone. "Good."

"Good?"

"Yes good, so good." Pulling him closer Mae whispered in his ear. "It's mutual feeling, I have this crazy little love thing for you too."

"Good."

It became their thing, they were 'good'


	21. Home is where the heart is

"Mabel…" Adam shuffled into the kitchen. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here Pops."

"Why?" Mae was starting to think he'd finally lost it.

"I've always lived here."

"Yes, yes, but you took me to George's house last week and it's nice, it's not a hovel and suitable for my princess. You should live with him." George had invited Adam and Mae for dinner one night to prove to Adam that he could take care of 'his Mabel.' He was a hard marker and George had passed with flying colours, it was the pork ribs he cooked that did it apparently and the beer.

"I am not sure he wants to live with me. He's never asked." Mae made him a coffee without asking if he wanted one. "He's worried that I will bring you with me."

"He should be so lucky." Adam got serious for a moment. "If you are worried about me don't be. You can't sit around here waiting for me to die. I plan on being here for a while yet. Anyway I've got Bug and Alfie can move back in if he thinks Bug is a bit too flaky."

"Well I don't know if that's sweet or just sad Pops."

"I want you to be happy, George seems to make you happy. You need to take a leap of faith Monkey."

She thought about it all day. They did spend a lot of time together and Mae would often stay over at his place and on occasions he would stay with her. They had never talked about living together though and by the time she got to his place she was all over the shop. George wasn't home yet and she jumped in the shower. She did love his place, not only that it was nice and comfortable and he didn't live like a slob but also because of the memories they had here. They had built their relationship in this place, in the kitchen, on the couch, in the bedroom, it was everywhere and very early on Mae had felt like she could just relax here. There were so many weeks of talking, touching and feeling each other out before they took the leap and that helped build a strong foundation.

They had come a long way in a short space of time.

George had been surprised when Mae had opened up to his mother about her abuse soon after Mae had met his family. Perhaps it was knowing that Olivia had been in a terrible relationship, although as far as George knew his father never abused his mother but she had been through the wringer without a doubt made Mae feel like she could share her path to falling in love with George.

Perhaps it was also a sign of how deep her feelings were for George and how she saw him in her future. He really liked that Mae was building a relationship with his mother. His previous girlfriends weren't mature enough to realise that your boyfriend's mother wasn't always a wicked witch. They weren't besties, but Mae would happily go shopping with her or tag along to a fundraiser or book launch that his mother often went too.

Mae had also organised for Annabel to spend the day with Alfie at the Zoo, she wanted to be a Vet and she came home breathless with excitement and perhaps a little bit of a crush on her brother. She had hugged Mae fiercely when they came for dinner after her day with Alfie. "Oh my god Mae, that was so amazing, Alfie was so nice and funny. George, you need to marry Mae."

"Back the truck up." George laughed at both Annabel's over excited declaration and Mae's horrified look, not to mention his mother's stunned silence. "I don't know how good she is at keeping house yet?"

"I am not sure he wants to be shackled to my grumpy old grandfather."

"Oh, whatever." Annabel waved her hands. "If he is anything like your brother he'd be easy peasy."

"Alfie?" Mae snorted. "He's hardly easy peasy. He's a pain in the ass most of the time. Guy is a nightmare."

"He's cute." Annabel giggled and Mae shot George a look. That is the last thing anyone needed. Alfie was a bit of a love 'em and leave 'em type who would also have been completely oblivious to the schoolgirl crush that Annabel seemed to have developed throughout the day. "Does he have a girlfriend?"

"Several I'd say." George was keen to crush his sister's spirit; Mae would have been a lot softer about it but the sooner that was put to bed the better. Alfie wouldn't have encouraged it; he was just a nice guy and he would have made sure that Annabel had a good day and got her hands dirty and learned a lot. He loved teaching young kids about Zoology, he'd had that same passion in his blood that their Dad did. "He's here for a good time, not a long time."

George regretted that the moment it come out of his mouth; he knew he'd upset Mae. She brushed it off but certainly let him know how un-funny she thought it was later on. He'd had to do a lot of grovelling to get Mae to forgive him. He was prone to ill-timed jokes and Mae certainly let him know when he'd gone to far.

Alfie had a good laugh about Annabel's crush but he didn't say a word to her and invited her back to the zoo if he had something interesting going on. He made it pretty clear to her though that he wasn't interested. Schoolgirls were not his thing, not in the slightest but he didn't want her to lose interest in the animals or her desire to be a Vet, he wanted to encourage that.

"Hey I like this." George stuck his head into the bathroom. "How are you? You're early?"

"I was a bit of a liability at work so I left early."

"Why? You okay?" He was already kicking off his shoes and stripping off to join her in the shower. Shower sex was definitely something that they loved doing but they also spent a lot of time just sharing a shower and talking about their day. They loved to talk while showering, it was sweet and didn't always lead to sex, not that either of them would say no.

"Yeah. Just one of those days."

"Why?"

"Something Pops said this morning."

Without thinking George grabbed some soap and washed Mae's back. "What he'd say? Something inappropriate?" He was getting used to Adam's random comments and ability to embarrass you, nobody was spared and Mae assured him that once Pops started on him that meant that he was accepted. It was his entry ticket to the circus tent.

"No, he told me to move out."

"Ha, really?" George laughed. "So, you are moving in with me? Awesome."

"Should we?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to think about it?"

"No." George noticed that she was quiet all of a sudden. "Were you worried why I'd never asked you to move in before?"

"No…" Mae paused. "…not really."

"Not really, but yes?" He was certainly getting the hang of deciphering Mae. "Okay, I was worried about Adam, that's all. You are helping take care of him and I couldn't ask you not to do that."

"I can still help take care of him, I always will. That's always going to be a big part of who I am, is that okay with you?"

"Of course it is Mae." He wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her behind her ear. "Just one thing. It's we, not I. We will help take care of him."

George knew how to say the right thing, Mae never felt like her was trying a line on her, although he certainly had some lines that he liked to use but he knew when to use them and this wasn't one of those times. Telling her that it wasn't just her who would care for Adam was what Mae needed to hear. "Oh, you make my heart all a flutter."

"I do don't I?" he let go and patted her bare ass. "How about you let me get wet?"

"That's dirty."

"No, that's just your filthy mind." George bit her neck playfully. "I just meant I am freezing my ass off but I am happy to get wet with you."

Mae spun around and reached out for him quickly, stunning him a little until he realised what she was doing. "Let's get you wet." Shower sex was never off the table and always hot and always worth the effort.

"So how do we do this?" Mae curled her feet up under her on the couch while George cooked dinner. He loved to cook and Mae was more than happy to let him do it, it had never been her strong suit. There were better people in her family at cooking than she was and Pops often lamented when Mae was left in charge of dinner. "Like what are you going to charge me to live here? Do we live here or get our own place?"

"Sex, basically."

"I'd rather give you money."

"Really?" He bought her over a glass of wine and leant over the back of the couch and kissed her upturned face. "Bills split; we can work out the rest." George had a mortgage on this place, he wasn't renting. He paid more than his monthly repayments, hoping to pay it off quicker. Mae did have her own place but Alfie rented it and he knew she was paying a mortgage on another property that she owned with Lola, Alfie and Iris. Gus had set them up very well.

He had been surprised when he learnt about how financially stable Mae was, it didn't make any difference to his feelings for her either way, he was a long way down the path to falling in love with her when he found out. Mae had let it slip when he mentioned something about living with Pops. "When the thing with Rick happened I didn't feel safe there or happy so I moved back in with Pops and Alfie took it."

"The lease? When is it up?"

"No, it's my place. I own it."

"Ah, the adult joy of paying a mortgage."

"No, no mortgage. We all have an apartment that we own. We also have Mom and Dad's two houses and one other one we are paying off." She didn't mention the one property that she'd rather not own.

"Oh…." George was stunned into silence.

"Gus set us up. Mom and Dad had made sure we were taken care of." They also all had a small trust fund that sat in the background doing its thing.

Because Gus had organised their financial future they were always careful to make sure that their investments were protected. It felt very normal to ensure that everything was signed off on and spelled out early. "You know I want to pay rent just so there is no confusion about this place. This is your home George; you need to protect that. I'm not like that, but we still need to be smart."

"Fair enough." George returned to the kitchen. 'It's a shitty conversation isn't it? Like I hate that you have to worry about shit like that these days. I get it though."

"Gus has always managed all that for me. He will insist on it, it's nothing against you. He did it with Lola and Riley too. You don't mind?"

"Nope. I'm not stupid Mae, this is how the world works these days. You have assets and property, so do I, although I am not quite the property mogul that you seem to be."

"Hardly." Mae scoffed. "So, I will give you money towards rent and we will split the bills, yeah?" They agreed that Mae's rent would go into a savings account that they would use for furniture, travel and any maintenance or improvements that needed doing. George had mentioned that he wanted to get the floors redone and a new kitchen. It was a bit old and out dated but now that Mae would be helping out with the bills it might be possible.

Mae was worried about Iris; she had broken up with Lewis recently and while she insisted she was okay she was a little wild. She was out partying a little too hard and enjoying the single life. Iris was careful and didn't do anything stupid but she did love going out with friends and having a good time then sleeping all day. She would settle down eventually and Adam was getting a little frustrated with her lately and told her she needed to pull her head in. Maybe taking on a little more responsibility would do that, as well as having Alfie around a bit more. He was a calming influence on her.

They talked about how they were going to do this, they needed to talk to Iris and Alfie as well as Pops but they never felt like it wasn't the right thing to do. Mae cleared the dishes from dinner while George replied to a couple of emails, he wanted to be able to put his phone away as soon as Mae was done in the kitchen. He had plans for a movie and a night on the couch with his girl.

Mae had other ideas though. She straddled his lap and took the phone from his hand. "I want to celebrate."

"Celebrate what?"

"My future. My heart. My heaven. My new home." Mae nibbled on his ear while George's hands grabbed her hips and pulled her down tighter into his lap. "So Good."

"Love you too Monkey."

Mae wiggled her hips and continued to work away on his neck. "Hey George…." She murmured between kisses. "…fuck me."

Adam was happy that they had decided to move in together. He really wanted to see them all happy and settled before he went. Mae then decided to meet Alfie for lunch to break the news to him.

"What do you want?" He was always wary when one of his sisters dropped in on him at work.

"You wound me with your words."

"What do you want? What have you done? What do you want me to do?" Alfie just ignored her. "Pick one."

"What? Why can't I just buy my brother lunch. I missed you." Alfie tilted his head to the side and Mae huffed a little. "Fine. What I have done is agree to move in with George, what I need you to do is move out of my apartment and what I want is for you to move in with Pops and Iris."

"Is that it?"

"Yes."

"Okay." He shrugged like it was no big deal. "About fucking time."

"You've talked to Pops."

"Of course I've talked to Pops, he's been in my ear about it for weeks. He wanted me to tell you to move out but I told him he had to do it." While Alfie wasn't paying full rent on Mae's place he was forking out a little to cover expenses. Mae would be able to rent it out easily enough, it was a great apartment and she would get more for it. Alfie could do with staying with Pops and saving a little. Pops refused to take money from any of them as long as they put that money towards something reasonable and usually that meant they were paying off their various mortgages quicker which was exactly what he wanted. "Are you happy Mae?"

"I am."

"I told you, didn't I? When you meet him he will be the right guy for you. George is the right guy for you."

"He is. I didn't think it would happen, not so soon anyway. I'm really happy Alfie."

"And I am more than happy to move back in with Pops and help take care of him, it's my turn. Iris is way too flaky."

Mae threw her head back and laughed. "Pops told you that didn't he? He told me that too."

It all happened quickly. They found someone to lease Mae's apartment, Alfie moved in with Pops and Iris and Mae moved into George's place, although most of her stuff stayed at Pops house. There wasn't much room at George's and she was always dropping in on Pops so it wasn't a big deal. Slowly more and more of her possessions ended up at George's.

"Quit stuffing around Gus." George had been suspicious about him dropping in unannounced and had been cagey and making small talk while George made him a coffee. Mae wasn't home, she had gone to the hairdressers and he knew she'd be gone another hour at least.

"I'd rather wait for Mae."

"I wouldn't." George slid the coffee cup across the bench and suddenly it clicked. "This is about Rick isn't it?"

"George. Let's just wait for Mae."

"Look, Gus I appreciate that I wasn't around back then, and I know you sorted it out for her and I am grateful for that. It took her a long time to get over it and if it's going to be issue again I want to be prepared." What they did like about George was that he didn't muck around. He was insanely protective of Mae and that's all they could ask for, and he loved her.

After the initial dinner which went sideways in a big way Gus had respected the way George stood up for himself and for Mae.

He didn't take shit from anyone, especially Mae and obviously not her family either.

Gus nodded. "Rick has been arrested and charged with sexual assault and grievous bodily harm."

"Bullshit." George ran his hand over his face. "What the hell?"

"I know, I know what you are thinking. It could have been Mae."

"That's what she's going to think, it will be the first thing that crosses her mind." George took a deep breath. "What does this mean for Mae?"

"They want her to give evidence." Gus realised he couldn't stop now; George wouldn't let him and he did feel a little guilty that Mae wasn't here but on the other hand George could help him frame up how he was going to tell Mae. "He's pleading not guilty."

"I don't know Gus." He was worried what it would do to Mae, they'd come so far in a short space of time. It had barely eight months since they met and started dating. Mae had only moved in with him a little over two months ago and they were loving it. This would knock them off their axis, how much he didn't know but he knew it was going to really affect Mae. He didn't want her to get hurt again. "I don't want her to go back there. It was shit place for her, you know that better than anyone."

"I do."

George thought about it for a moment. "I'm going to say no."

"It's not your decision."

"The fuck it's not."

Gus pointed at him angrily. He didn't like the way George had just decided what Mae could and couldn't do. "Hey, I get you are worried but this is not a choice. If this guy gets off what happens to the next woman he rapes? He knocked Mae around last time, this time he raped his girlfriend after beating the living shit out her, she ended up needing surgery to repair a torn vagina, she's lucky to be alive. I'm not sitting around waiting for him to kill someone when I know Mae can help put him away. I won't let her run and hide because it's too hard. That's not me, that's not Mae and I think you know it."

"And then you just walk away and leave me to deal with the fallout."

"I've never walked away from Mae, or any of them. The sooner you learn that the better for you." Gus was pissed and George knew he'd gone too far.

"Sorry Gus, I'm sorry."

"I know you love Mae; we know you will do anything to protect her and trust me when I say we really like knowing you are on Mae's side. She has to do this and unless Mae tells me she won't then you better figure out if you are going to support her or let her twist in the wind."

"Wow, you think I'd let her twist?"

"Nope, I don't. So…" Gus rinsed his cup in the sink. "…what do we do?"

They agreed to let Gus do the talking and George would support her, she had to know that he was on her side. She would feel under attack from Gus and they knew she would baulk and refuse to do it initially before realising she had no choice.

Mae did exactly what they thought she would. "No." she stood up and walked out of the room. Gus offered to go talk to her but George knew Mae and she would just get more het up with Gus.

"Hey." He reached for Mae as she was pacing in their bedroom. Getting her to stop was a struggle. She shrugged away from him a couple of times before he managed to pin her down to one spot. For a moment he just held both her hands tight down beside her so that she was standing close to him. "Talk to me."

"I can't."

"Just come and listen to Gus. Just listen, you don't need to make a decision yet."

He held her hand the entire time, he felt her tense up and then relax again as she listened to Gus. "Monkey, you know you have to do this don't you?" She just nodded in response. "Okay, do you have any other questions right now?"

"No."

"Okay. I'm going to go, leave you to talk to George, lean on him, he's a tough boy, yell and scream if you need to." He winked at George. "He can take it."

As soon as Gus left Mae jumped up and took a shower and George just sat on the bed and waited. Going at her would achieve nothing, Mae wouldn't talk, more than likely she would shut down for a while and say absolutely nothing. It was her way and as frustrating as it was there was nothing George could do but wait it out. He had learned this quickly and Adam had told him how much Mae had struggled when their parents died and while he knew she didn't talk for a while he didn't realise it was almost two weeks and that she literally did not say a word. Not even yes or no. They had worried about her and eventually she started talking to Iris first. Now when things got too much for her Mae still did it and that's precisely what happened now.

Mae absolutely shut down. George knew she'd been crying when she got out, she lay on the bed without saying a word. George sat beside her, resting his hand on her hip and he hoped she appreciated that he didn't push her but stayed close. Eventually she fell asleep and George left her to sleep.

She came out a few hours later and curled up next to George as he was watching a game. He turned the TV off, and let her snuggle in under his arm. "Hey beautiful. How was your sleep?"

"I didn't sleep much."

"Ah so you just wanted me gone?"

"No, I liked that you were there. I like that you know me."

"Know you, like you, love you."

Mae was a little quiet, enjoying how George was calmly stroking her hair. "I have to do it don't I?" If it wasn't so quiet he probably wouldn't have heard her.

"Yes you do, but Mae I will be with you every step of the way, so will Gus."

"That could have been me." She burst into tears. "He could have done that it me."

George had thought about nothing else since Gus had told him. That this might have been Mae, and how he could help her with that. Also what it meant for him, it shouldn't even be a consideration but she had pulled away from him for so long because of this guy and he didn't want to go there again.

"What happened to you was enough, it terrified me to think that it could have been so much worse. You fought so hard to put this behind you and I know this will knock you around a bit. Tell me what to do. I don't care when or where, if you need something, if you want a hug, need to talk, need not to talk just ask me. Okay?" He felt her nod. "I love you so much Mae, you have been a dream come true for me. I never thought I'd meet someone like you, I'd never thought I'd be this lucky. Wherever this road leads, I'm glad I'm walking it with you."

Mae pulled back a little and George did struggle to let her. He just wanted to hold her. "Can we not talk about it for a bit?"

"Sure."

"I know you will be here when I am ready." Mae ran her hand over his face, a face she adored. "You can do one thing for me right now?"

"Anything."

Mae smiled; it was a little sad but she still looked beautiful. "Make love to me."

George reached for her face, rested his hands on both cheeks and bought his face closer to hers. "Yeah? That's what you want right now?"

"I do."

He was so sweet and loving and gentle with her; she was fragile and he treated her like she was made of glass. He covered her with his body, shielding her from the outside world, a world that had been cruel to her too many times already. "Oh Mabel. My heart aches for you right now."

It was hurting him to know he had to let her go back down that dark hole, but he'd helped her climb out of it once and he'd do it again.

"We'll be okay George."

"Yeah we will."

And they were, it wasn't easy though. Her family didn't want her to have anything to do with it. Adam had been angry with Gus and George for allowing it to happen. He wasn't angry with Mae although he told her that she didn't have to do it. If the lawyers were good enough they'd convict him anyway.

"I do have to do it Pops, because I want to be able to look that girl in the eye and let her know that I support her. If I don't, if I say no because I am scared that's telling her that what I went through was more important than what she went through. He almost killed her; I was lucky that I just got banged around a bit. I can make sure she gets some sense of justice and that might help her heal."

"Mabel, I don't want you to get hurt."

"That's okay Pops. I have George, I have all of you. I'll be okay." Mae kissed his cheek. "We can do this."

"You are an incredible little thing aren't you? You always have been."

"He didn't break me back then, but I did bend a little, he's not breaking me now."


	22. Every Week

Mae chewed on her bottom lip. It had hit her when she got home from work, flopping down on their bed she groaned at how painful her boobs were. They hadn't been this sore in a long time. Flipping over she suddenly had a thought and tried to do the math.

George was away at the moment; he had gone to a conference and she was missing him. He just amazed her every day, he was kind and loving and couldn't believe that she had found him right out of her disastrous relationship with Rick. George had restored her faith in men. He made her laugh, he was interested in her and what she did, he supported her on her bad days and made her look forward to what was next and loved her crazy family. His family had been very welcoming, much quieter than her unruly mob but she loved them. They complimented each other and she loved seeing him succeed.

He had also been an absolute rock for her when she had to relive her past with Rick, he'd been with her every day when she was in court, when she met her lawyer and every night he held onto her. He had been arrested for aggravated sexual assault and Mae was asked to give evidence regarding her relationship with Rick to support the woman he'd raped. It was the right thing to do but it did throw her back into a world she wanted to forget.

She didn't slide backwards though because George didn't let her and when you feel safe and secure bumps in the road were easier to navigate.

"Hey Lola." Mae called her sister. "Can I pop into work and see you?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Umm I need a blood test."

"You think you are pregnant?" Mae held the phone away from her ear as her sister literally shrieked.

"Maybe. George is away and I want to you know, …check it out."

"What's going on?"

"Sore boobs, like really sore and my period is a week or so late and I am so bloody tired, like chronically tired. I could sleep all day."

Mae headed into the hospital and Lola found a quiet room and did a blood draw. "Tell me? Is this good news? Will you be happy?"

"I think so. I mean we've talked about it and we definitely want to have kids but not quite yet."

"You know, like Mom always said sometimes the world has its own plans and if this is yes then it's meant to be." Mae was a bit more like her mother had been with contraception in that she struggled to find what worked the best for her. It seemed that it was the pill, which was unlike her mother in that regard. For Mae missing her period every month with an implant didn't work for her, she would get chronically bloated and suffer terrible cramping. The injection didn't work for Mae either, that just made her a nightmare and it was Adam that told her that she needed to stop whatever shit she was doing because she was practically a bitch on two feet. _'It's like living with your mother all over again. I didn't like it back then and now I am old and grumpy I like it even less.'_

"Yep."

"Are you going to tell George?"

"If it's yes? Ummm of course."

"No, are you going to tell him if it's no or that you think you might be pregnant? Are you going to tell him now?"

"I am not freaking him out right now, he'll be home in a couple of days."

It was a nervous wait and Lola promised to call her as soon as she got the results and she put a rush on them.

When she heard her phone ringing it took her a few seconds to get the courage to answer it. It had been all she thought about. One minute she was happy, then she was terrified but at the end of the day, she knew she would be disappointed if it was negative.

"Congratulations Monkey Mae, I can't wait to meet your little baby."

'Really?'

Lola was so excited for her. "Mae, I'm so happy for you."

"Me too. I'm a bit terrified too."

"About telling George?"

"No about being a Mom."

"You will be a great Mom, I see you with Sam, I love watching you with Sam. He adores you. This is amazing. You're pregnant Mae." Sam was eighteen months old and he was a whirlwind and the sweetest boy. He loved hugging people at the moment and he was a chatterbox and everyone adored him.

"Wow." It was all a little overwhelming and she wished she wasn't alone, she now wished that George was with her. "Wow."

"How do you feel?"

"I miss George." It was all she could think about. How much she wanted George right now.

"Are you going to call him?"

"I don't know. Part of me wants too, part of me wants him here. I want to see the look on his face. I want him to hug me and tell me he's happy and that it's going to be okay."

"Are you worried about what he will think?"

"No, not at all, I am pretty sure he'll be over the moon. I just want to see his excitement." Mae lied a little, she was worried about what George would think. They hadn't really talked about it much, they knew one day they would have hopefully children but this wasn't planned. Part of her just wanted to see his face, she could read him so easily and if she told him on the phone she would miss how he really felt.

"I think you should wait. Trust me, the first time they touch you and touch your stomach is so incredible. You will never forget the look on his face, I still remember Riley's." Lola loved it when she told Riley that she was pregnant with Sam. They had been trying so Riley was aware of what was going on and they were counting the days. It hadn't taken them long to fall pregnant and both of them had taken the test together.

Mae waited and it was a challenge but she had let it sink in. She had been a little short on the phone with George though and he picked up on it. "You okay Mae?" George had been a little perplexed but he knew she struggled a little when he was away. He couldn't blame her for that given her history. When he was coming home, she worried and until he walked through that door Mae couldn't relax. She'd never forget the day that someone she loved never walked through the door.

"I'm fine, just busy. This event on the weekend is doing my head in." She tried really hard to sound normal but she couldn't wait until he got home. "And I really miss you."

It was a lot later than he hoped when he got home. Mae was whacked and asleep on the couch. She had offered to pick him up but it was pointless having her sit in the traffic when he could catch a cab home. His flight had been delayed as well and instead of getting home late afternoon it was now almost nine pm. It had freaked Mae out and she was better off just to sleep and try not to think about it.

"Hey, sleepy head." Mae struggled to open her eyes when she heard him come in. George sat on the couch and bent down to kiss his beautiful girl. He loved coming home knowing that she was waiting for him. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too. So much."

"Big day hey?"

"Yep.." she sat up a little. "Big few days. I'm shattered." He was surprised when she burst into tears.

"Hey, what's wrong? What's happened?"

Mae gave him a watery smile and touched his face. Kissing him softly he felt her smile against his lips and when he tried to deepen the kiss Mae pulled back. "Something did happen."

"What?"

"It's just something small." She squeezed two fingers together. "but I think it might grow into a big ummm, I don't know if problem is the right word, but it's a big thing." Mae rambled a little.

"I'm intrigued and slightly nervous. What have you done?"

"I had a blood test, a pregnancy test."

"Huh?"

"Umm." Mae felt so tired and overwhelmed right now. It had surprised her how rapidly her emotions could swing from happy to sad and back again. "I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Oh… like with a baby pregnant?" George stuttered a little.

"Surprise." Mae tried to make it better. He looked shocked and she started to panic that he wasn't happy until she saw the tears in his eyes.

"Seriously, we are having a baby?"

"We are." Lola was right, the moment George laid his hand on her stomach was the most amazing feeling and the smile that lit up his face would stay with her forever.

"Best welcome home present ever."

"Yeah?"

"Oh god Mabel, this is amazing. I'm so happy, are you happy? Wait, are you okay? Is everything okay? Have you been to a Doctor? Perhaps you should go see Lola? How? Like how pregnant are you?" He was a worrier, and now that the shock had worn off a little he panicked.

"Baby, breathe." Mae chuckled as she held his cheek. "I'm fine, the baby is fine. Lola did the blood test for me. We've got a Doctor's appointment next week. I am about six weeks pregnant and apart from feeling extremely tired and I have the sorest boobs, so you can't touch them but I am good."

"This is incredible. I'm so happy, you make me so happy, every single day, since the day I met you." Mae cried and George gathered her up in his arms. "I love you so much, so much."

"Well you are stuck with me now."

"I just want to see it; I want to meet our baby. What do you think? Boy or Girl?" George had a million thoughts crashing through his head.

"Slow down. It's like, tiny."

"Yes, I know this, but I want to see it and even though it's tiny it's still in there growing girl bits or boy bits."

"Girl bits." Mae declared.

"Hmmm, I can imagine you with a girl. It would be nice for Pops hey? A great grandson and great granddaughter. I feel like we can do a girl."

Another thing that George had started to think about recently was the definition of their relationship. It was rock solid; they were so good and happy together. It had been a rush, but they were big believers in '_when you knew, you knew'_ They had talked about marriage, just as an aside and George was surprised when Mae told him she didn't necessarily want to get married. "It's not that I don't believe in marriage or in us but I don't think I want a wedding and all that."

One night, Mae finally offered up the reason why. When Lola got married Alfie read a letter that had been written by their Dad and she knew there was one for her and she didn't want to hear it. Lola's letter had broken her heart, she could hear her Dad's voice as her brother read it and it was a kick in the guts and she didn't think she was strong enough for it.

"That doesn't mean I don't love you and if I wanted a wedding it would be with you. I want to marry you; I just don't need a wedding to feel married to you."

"So, it's just the wedding you don't want?"

"Yes."

He reminded her that she could have the marriage without the wedding and they left it at that but now George was feeling differently and he needed to check that Mae still felt the same.

"Can I just ask one thing?" he started carefully. "And I don't want you to think I am just asking you this because of the baby and I feel that it's the right thing to do. But about the whole marriage thing? Have you changed your mind?"

"I don't know. I don't feel the need to do it because I am pregnant, but maybe in a little while we can just do it, you know registry office."

"Mae, I really think you will treasure that letter."

"I know, I'm just scared and right now I want to enjoy this okay."

"Okay, but just so you know my feelings haven't changed. I would marry you in a heartbeat if that's what you want."

"I know."

When George woke the next morning Mae was lying on her side staring at him. "Fuck George, we are going to be parents."

"Yep."

"I woke up the morning after I found out and forgot for a minute, did you?"

"No." He pulled Mae snug into his body. "How could I forget that my beautiful Mae has my little baby in her belly. I think it almost feels better than it did last night."

"Really?"

"Yep, almost." He kissed her forehead. "So many things to decide."

"Like what?"

"We need a house."

"A house?"

"Yep, a house. I want my baby and her baby momma to have a house."

"Her?" Mae was amused, he was rambling and he looked so happy. George was a dream come true for her, she knew that and for George Mae felt perfect for him, he'd fallen hard and fast and not one thing about Mae scared him. He couldn't imagine not being with her. "It might be a boy?"

"It might be, don't care really. We need a house."

"That's a big decision."

"Umm…No it's not, it's a house.' George poked her playfully in the belly. "This is big, a house is nothing compared to our baby."

They were going to be parents and it was an emotional rollercoaster that neither of them were prepared for. They had talked about having kids one day but it was more as a joke than anything, they hadn't seriously talked about timing or preparing for it. It was right in front of them now and they were excited, nervous and anxious but with each passing week they relaxed and embraced the latest development in their life together.

Mae was happy and she enjoyed feeling her body change as their baby grew. Visibly she didn't look any different, she wasn't showing and apart from her boobs nothing had changed on the outside but she certainly felt different. She sat on the bed with her hands on her belly one night and when George came in she just looked at him and burst into tears. "I'm sorry. It's stupid."

"What's stupid?"

"All this." She waved her hand around her face. "I'm happy. I really am."

"I know."

"And I'm scared and terrified and I feel all alone."

"Why? You may feel alone but I know you know that you are not."

"I wish Mom was here." Mae had one hand on her face and the other on her belly. "I miss Dad."

"Oh Mabel." George rubbed her knee. "They are here with you. In here…" he tapped her chest. "…they are always with you. I know you wish they were physically here and if I could give you what you so desperately want I would."

"It's stupid. It was so long ago, why can't I ever get over it?"

"Because they are your Mom and Dad and they meant the world to you, you loved them. You never have to stop loving them, you never have to stop missing them and I will never ask you too."

"Are you going to tell your Dad?" They hadn't told anyone yet; apart from Lola and Riley it was still their secret.

"No." George was adamant that his Dad played no part of his life anymore. It had caused a bit of tension between them because Mae couldn't understand why, now that he was going to be a father that he didn't want his Dad in his child's life when that was all she wanted. "Why would I?"

"Because this is his grandchild."

"Mae, he doesn't even care about his children, why would he care about a grandchild?"

"That's not fair George. It might be the thing that changes his mind." They were never going to see eye to eye on this and that was okay, it was such a small thing when it all boiled down to it, but that didn't mean that every now and then it reared its head again. Mae understood how George felt about his Dad and Scott but she was on such an emotional rollercoaster at the moment everything came back up and was at the next level.

"It shouldn't take a grandchild to change his mind. He should want to know me, he doesn't."

Mae didn't agree with him. What if he turned out to be the same? What if he walked away from his child like his Dad had walked away from him? It was irrational but she had a lot of irrational thoughts at the moment. "What if you are just like him?"

"Fuck you Mae." He pushed himself off the bed and walked out. It was a dick move, but he was pissed and likely to say something equally shitty if he stayed. He adored her but sometimes she just said things that hurt. He would never abandon his own child, he knew how crappy that felt, he knew how unloved he felt, how much it hurt to think that the man that made you wasn't interested in you. He wasn't doing that to his child or to Mae.

He came back in and ignored her, got changed into some running gear and left the house. It was better this way. Mae didn't say a word, she still had the tendency to do that. Stop talking when things upset her, it was a defence mechanism and in the beginning he tried to get her to talk to him but now he'd learned the best thing he could do was walk away and wait. It wasn't fun or easy but it had to work this way.

Struggling to find his rhythm as he ran George felt himself getting more and more worked up. He hated that Mae did this, just expected him to forgive his father for abandoning him just because she wanted her own Dad in her life. He had told her one day that she wasn't abandoned like he was, her suffering wasn't any more painful than his. Her parents never wanted to leave her; his father didn't think twice about it. Once the sting had come out of things he apologised, it was a poor choice of words. Of course losing you parents like she had was way worse, but he just wanted Mae to realise that it was still a hard thing to deal with when you are sixteen years old and he still carried the scars.

Mae was either asleep when he got back or pretending to be. He covered her with a blanket and jumped in the shower hoping that when he came out she would be awake. She wasn't. He sat on the edge of the bed and fanned out her hair on her pillow. She was beautiful, inside and out and he couldn't imagine not being with her and the fact that his baby was growing inside her blew him away.

"I'm sorry." Mae muttered sleepily. "I'm sorry George. I know you are not like that. I know you won't leave your baby."

He bent down and kissed her forehead. "Mae, I'm not leaving you either."

"Everyone does."

"Monkey." He slid off the bed onto his knees and made her look at him. "Mae, baby please don't. I know your parents aren't here, I know MiMi is not here but you know who still is? Adam, Gus, Rhiannon, Lola, Alfie and Iris. Little Sam is here and me. I'm here and I can't promise you what tomorrow or next week or next year is going to bring but just know that the only reason I would leave you is because I had no choice, like it wasn't your parent's choice or MiMi's."

"I love you."

"Good." It was still their thing and it meant exactly the same thing as the three little words. "Now, I need to feed you."

"I'm not hungry."

"So don't care." George pushed himself up off the floor. "You need to eat because I assume you've hardly eaten all day. I know you."

"I felt crappy today."

"Spew?"

"Only three times." While Mae wasn't as bad as her mother was with Alfie she did have quite bad nausea and the occasional vomit in the morning and by lunchtime she'd come good, today it had lingered which didn't help her mood.

"What do you feel like?"

"Pasta."

"Then you shall eat pasta." George jumped up, kissed her forehead and disappeared into the kitchen.

It was a bit of an emotional minefield. Mae was also completely different to Lola they discovered. Lola had to 'tell' her parents first and she loved visiting them and did it often. Sam was only a few days old when he first went to the zoo. Mae would take George to the zoo; she wasn't as keen as Lola was though and she had never taken George to the Beach House. It had been months before he even knew it existed and it was only over hearing an argument between Iris and Mae that alerted him to the fact they had a beach house.

"I don't fucking care Bug." Mae was slamming things in the kitchen while Iris was sitting at the bench with some wall paper samples.

"It's your house too."

"It's not, I don't care. I've never cared. I don't care if the fucking thing burns to the ground."

"Well I care. That's their place, they were there. They were happy there. How can you say that?" Iris just didn't understand Mae's attitude. Lola accepted it; she just didn't talk to Mae about it. Alfie didn't want to get involved. Mae's decision was her decision. They weren't getting rid of the place; it was one against three. "You loved it there."

"If they weren't there Bug, they'd still be here."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I do know that. Just leave me alone." Mae threw the wooden spoon into the sink and stormed into her bedroom slamming to door.

"What's that about?" George only caught the end of it.

"Mae's just being her typical bitch about the Beach House."

"What Beach House?"

"Our Beach House. She hates the place, she won't go there, so doesn't want anything to do with it."

"Why not?"

"Because she blames that place for Mom and Dad's death. That's where they were the weekend they died." For Iris, she loved the place because she could go somewhere that her parents loved and that was comforting to her. She didn't know them; she didn't remember the place before they died. "Mae's just fucking weird about it. She's only been back once and she didn't want to go. Heidi and Hudson made her, it was ugly apparently and she didn't talk for weeks."

"Then why ask her about wallpaper for it?" George was a mixture of angry and confused. He was angry Mae never told him and that Iris was upsetting her deliberately and he was confused as to why she would want to upset her sister.

"Because I don't understand why she doesn't want to remember the place that our parents were so happy."

"Have you asked her?"

"Yes, it's the same bullshit. If they didn't go to the Beach House they wouldn't be dead, but we don't know that."

"It's not that easy Iris, not for Mae. If she's lasted this long without going or being interested why do you think she's suddenly going to change her mind."

"Because I want to remember them, I don't have memories, I don't know them and I can know them there and Mae can help me remember."

"Bug." George hugged the young girl. He loved Iris, she was growing up into an incredible young woman and he cared about her lot but he was always going to be on Mae's side. "You can't force Mae to do something that upsets her just to make you happy. There are a lot of things she does to help you remember your parents; I don't think that will ever be one of them."

George really had no idea what Mae felt about this. He was running on his gut, he had to trust that he knew enough about Mae to make that call.

"It's not fair. She got to know them, I didn't and that's all I want."

"No, it's not fair, none of this is fair but you aren't being fair to Mae either."

"I just want something."

"I know Bug." George hugged her. "I know. This is not it though."

Mae shut down completely. She wouldn't talk to Iris and she ended up leaving in tears. They knew this about Mae though, she'd be okay in a few days. George did talk to her though. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have stopped Iris earlier."

"It's got nothing to do with you."

"No? How about the fact that I care about you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, fine but you can listen. I don't care if you don't want anything to do with that place, I will support you. I can't imagine how much it hurts you and I will respect that and baby I will make sure they do as well. I am on your side. Just don't shut me out."

"If they didn't go, they'd be here."

"I know that's how you feel and that's okay."

"I can't go back there. I can't."

"And I will never make you." They moved on, Iris and Mae got over it and it hadn't come up again. It would, at some point down the path it would come up again, apparently it always did. Every few years it reared its ugly head.

Now the pregnancy had bought a lot of things to the surface and George was doing his best to ride the rough times out and while they were a little rough they were also really happy.

This baby felt right.

Mae was nervous about telling everyone that was making her feel sick. Lola had it all planned and told her not to worry about a thing. George was amused at how excited Lola was and how terrified Mae seemed.

At the end of the day her family were going to be happy, they were having a baby. It may have seemed quick but they were delighted and excited and that's all they cared about. They had only been together just over a year but everyone agreed that Mae had blossomed with George, he had come into her life at the right time and they all wanted them to be happy.

"You know they are going to go ape-shit crazy?"

"Yes, probably."

"Then why are you nervous. You look like you are about to puke?"

"Because I am about to puke. I feel like shit today." It was slowly getting better but at the end of the week Mae was exhausted and that made her feel worse. She'd had a big function last night and didn't get home until almost 1am. George had let her sleep in but she woke up feeling like she'd been hit by a train, she was tired, nauseous and grumpy.

They had also been out and looked at a couple of houses today, nothing that they fell in love with but they were starting to get an idea of what they liked and didn't.

George asked her if she wanted to cancel tonight when they got home but that bought a swift death stare so he backed off and let her sleep before they left for Pops house. George couldn't believe how much she was sleeping at the moment. She was like a cat; she'd sleep twenty hours a day if she could.

Lola just ripped the band-aid off. She walked into to dinner and asked Sam to give Mae a stuffed Quokka she had ordered from Australia the moment she'd told Mae she was pregnant. He took it over to Mae but refused to give it up. "For your Quokka." Lola added while Mae was doing her best to at least get a look at it, Sam had quite the grip on it. He was a strong little bugger.

"Is that what we are calling it?" George cocked one eye playfully at Lola.

"Yep." It took Iris a few seconds, Gus figured it out but Pops was confused.

"What's a Quokka?"

"Pops…" Iris squealed. "I think this is Lola's way of telling us that Mae is pregnant." She turned to Mae. "It is isn't it? George has knocked you up hasn't he?"

"Yes he did." She nodded and Iris started jumping up and down. Gus and Rhiannon were all over her like a rash and Lola stood back and watched, she was happy with her work, and Sam was still holding onto the Quokka like his life depended on it. She noticed that Pops was crying but hadn't really moved. She nudged Mae to go talk to him.

"Hey Pops…" Mae sat next to her grandfather and held his hands. "…are you happy? George and I are really happy."

"Oh Mabel, it's wonderful. Don't worry about me." He brushed the tears off his cheek with a shaky hand. "I'm just a silly old man."

"Pops, it's not silly. I cried too." She leant in and whispered in his ear. "I miss her too. I miss all of them."

"They'd be so happy for you. I hope I get to stay and meet your little …whatever it is?"

"Quokka. Well I can't do this without you so you've got no choice."

"Are you okay?"

"I am, a little seedy, like a bad hangover that just won't go away but everything is good."

"And George."

"Amazing Pops, just amazing. He's so happy." She took a quick look at George and he was laughing at something Alfie had said. He loved coming here, Sunday nights were a favourite of his. His family were close but didn't really do a regular dinner thing. He'd catch up with him Mom once a week but they were rarely all together. "We didn't plan to have a baby just yet but we are so happy and can't wait. It's a good thing."

"Well that's it then." He patted her hand. "My Monkey Mae-Bell as a Mom. I'm getting way too old for this shit."

"Pops, you 'ain't going nowhere until this one is cooked and running around causing havoc."

Nobody saw Iris slip inside and it took a few seconds for anyone to notice that she had come back out with a tall dark haired guest who looked like a man on death row. He'd been warned that it might be a circus and the tent was well and truly pumping when Iris bought him out. She'd quickly told him that his sister just announced her pregnancy so it was a little feral right now and Iris had to tug on his hand and tell him to stop being a wowser.

"Oh hi." Gus saw him first. "What's this Bug?"

"This is a Colton."

"A Colton?" Her guest looked at her quizzically.

"Yes they will think of a name for you later." She whispered. "Probably tomorrow. They are a little distracted at the moment, you are lucky."

Gus offered his hand. "I'm Angus, Bug's Uncle."

"Nice to meet you Angus."

"Oh Angus…" Iris mocked him. "…he's trying to sound fancy. Just call him Gus or Bus. Angus…" she snorted. "stop trying to sound important."

Colton was introduced to the rest of the family, he heard all about them so it was nice to put faces to names. He congratulated Mae and George on their pregnancy and met Sam who soon warmed up to him. Colton had picked up the Quokka when Sam dropped it and he crouched down and pretended that the Quokka was talking to him and Sam giggled.

He loved meeting Adam and Iris looked so happy that he was here, she hadn't been this happy in a long while or as excited to introduce someone to her family. After meeting all of his family Colton only thought it was fair that he met her family. "Iris has told me so much about you. It's nice to meet you finally."

Colton could barely keep up with them and he found an ally in George. That was kind of the tradition, the last one in looked after the newbie. George was using him as a bit of a buffer too. Everyone was crazy over the pregnancy announcement, including Iris who was over the top excited. He thought he had a handle on her crazy, turns out he didn't know half of it.

"This is not the usual Sunday night." George added. "I mean they are crazy but this is extra special crazy."

"Well Iris talked it up, she said it would be crazy and man, it is crazy but they all look like they like each other."

"Like each other?" George snorted. "You'll learn soon enough those four are like Siamese Quads. I swear they were separated at birth. They are stuck to each other like shit to a blanket. It's kinda cool to watch."

When Riley finally stopped dealing with random Sam's dummy spit he joined them and reminded George that he needed to go endure his lecture from Adam about knocking up one of his granddaughter's. "It might get a little awkward but I survived, although I was actually married to Lola."

He took a deep breath and went to hear his fate. "So?" Adam cocked an eye at him as George helped him with the BBQ. They loved that Adam still insisted on doing it and someone always helped him. "Why won't you marry her?"

"I want to Adam, I really do. More than anything but Mae won't say yes. I've asked."

"Why not?"

"It's all about that letter."

"What letter?"

"Something about a letter from her Dad. She just doesn't want it. Lola had one at her wedding apparently and it's freaking her out."

"That's bullshit."

"I have no idea what is in that letter or what was in Lola's, she won't tell me but she is worried that it will hurt too much and she thinks the best way to avoid it is not get married."

"She can not have it if she doesn't want it? My poor little Mae."

"The thing is Adam I think she does want it but she talked about when Alfie read it, it was like hearing her Dad talk and that scares her because she wants to hear his voice again so desperately." George was trying to understand Mae but he found it hard with regards to this, she was a bit all over the shop. "I would marry her tomorrow if she said yes. Even before the baby, that's just made me more determined to change her mind."

George kept talking to her about it. Every week he asked her to marry him and every week she said no. He asked her if she wanted him to stop and she said no, the week that he stopped was the week she knew he didn't love her anymore, that he had given up on them. It had created a monster to some degree but he wasn't giving up on her. "I will take care of her Pops, don't worry about that."

"I don't. I just want her to feel secure, insecurity and abandonment has always been Mae's cross to bear. I want to know she's safe."

"I never realised how deep her pain runs, for the most part she deals with it. I see it but she pushes it aside or tries to hide it. It's her vulnerability at times that gets to me, from the very beginning. I've always had this overwhelming desire to protect her. I've just wanted to help her deal with all this hurt but I can't change the past so I've got to look after her future."

"I am an old man and I know they don't want to think about the next few years but I won't be here forever but I want to know they are okay. I know Lola is okay, I know Mae is okay. The other two, yet to be determined." He nodded towards Alfie and Iris who were talking to Iris's new boyfriend. "Although Bug looks happy right now. I hope he's not a fuckwit. I can't do another fuckwit, I'm too old for fuckwits."

"Adam, I will take care of Mae, whether we are legally married or not. I wouldn't love her anymore if I was married to her, it doesn't matter to me but I promise you I will love her and take care of her like you have done her whole life."

"Thank you."

"And we can't wait to see you with our baby."

Adam smiled and patted his arm. He liked this guy, after all Mae had been through she had got this one right. "I'd like a girl."

"Me too."


	23. A New Rug

"You sure you'll be all right?" Lola looked at her phone. She was running late. Sam had decided to sleep a little longer than usual, probably because he'd been up half the night. He was usually a good sleeper but last night he was just random. She had to go meet a Paediatrician who she was hoping to get some experience with in private practice. Dr Rupert's trainee was taking three months maternity leave and she wanted another junior Doctor to take her place. Lola had jumped at the chance to sit down with her. She was going to drop Sam off at Riley's office on the way but his decision to sleep instead had thrown that plan out the window.

Mae looked exasperated. "I'm pregnant not fucking useless."

"I know. I know, but you've got Sam and Pops to look after." Adam was staying with Lola at the moment. He'd had a fall a couple of weeks ago and while Iris was in the middle of exams and Colton was away he was being dropped off a Lola's every morning by Alfie and picked up on the way home. He was grumpy and annoyed but he loved being around Sam. Sam adored his Pops and loved to sit on his lap and cuddle. He seemed to know that Pops couldn't play with him so he would sit quietly and they'd read books or watch TV together.

"You won't be long?"

Mae still had a month to go but the last month had been rough. She had been hospitalised for a week with a severe case of the flu, a chest infection and dehydration and was only just getting back on her feet. George had been beside himself with worry and even now preferred if she wasn't left at home alone. Lola was a carer for all three of them at the moment.

"An hour, two at tops. Sam's lunch is all ready. He eats anything."

"I know." She literally pushed Lola out the door.

"She worries about us." Adam grumbled. "Like we are useless. I did raise two children and four grandchildren." He muttered.

"I think she is more worried about me Pops. George has whipped her into a frenzy with all his panicking."

"When is this all happening?" He pointed her to cute belly. She wasn't as big as Lola had been but the bout of the flu had put her on the back foot with regards to weight gain. They were using this last month to feed her up and Mae certainly had enough of the nagging about her food intake. If she had to drink one more protein smoothie she might just drown George in it in his sleep.

"Four weeks Pops."

"I might not make it."

"Don't say that please. You are too bloody stubborn."

"True Mabel, very true."

They had also bought a house, which had been a drawn out process. They were trying to keep George's apartment as a rental so ended up with a house that needed a bit of work to fit in with the budget. George and Alfie had repainted the whole inside, with Riley pitching in when he could and Colton proving that handyman wasn't in his skill set. He turned out to be better as their Sherpa. Iris kept them fed and Mae wasn't allowed anywhere near the place with the paint fumes. They'd had the floorboards repolished and one bathroom re-done and the nursery but it still needed a new kitchen and their master suite was average at best. Adam had been a very determined site supervisor throughout it all, although if you asked the boys he was a giant pain in the ass.

Mae's illness threw a few things out the window but the boys managed to get the front and backyard tidied up and the deck repaired and they had the front of the house painted while Mae was in hospital.

When Lola had told George that he needed to take Mae to hospital he had just stood and stared at her. She'd come over to see her sister, knowing that she had been unwell for a few days. Lola took one look at Mae and told George she needed hospitalisation. George had been devastated and he thought he'd put Mae and their baby at risk by not realising she was so sick. "George, if she wasn't pregnant I wouldn't even suggest it, but it's better to be safe than sorry." Truth be told if she hadn't been her own sister she probably wouldn't be as worried either.

She spent four days in hospital and the first few days Mae didn't care, she was that unwell and he hated seeing her with nasal prongs and an IV for the first two days. Once she turned the corner though she made life hell for everyone begging to come home, her and Adam were like bears with sore heads and everyone approached her room with the same trepidation.

The baby was fine though, it was kicking up a storm and they loved feeling it moving around and watching her stomach change shape as they turned somersaults in her belly.

Not long after Lola left Sam woke. "You want me to get him?" Adam asked, half joking. There was no way he was allowed to lift Sam from his crib, although he wasn't happy about Mae doing it either.

"Funny." Mae waddled upstairs. She was feeling every bit of her eight months at the moment.

Sam's face lit up when he saw his Aunt. He was such a happy boy and a joy to be around. "Up." He held his arms up to her and Mae struggled to lift him.

"Oww." She cringed and rubbed her lower belly. "Settle down." The pain that shot through her back didn't surprise her, the past few days had seen an increase in overall body aches and pains and her Doctor had told her it was completely normal. She hadn't told Lola because then she'd worry and George was more than enough to deal with. "Your cousin is giving me hell little man." She talked to Sam.

As she changed Sam's diaper she was shocked to feel a sudden gush of fluid between her legs. "Oh shit." She tried not to panic as she helped Sam off the change table and he charged off towards the stairs. Managing to catch him in time it was lucky he was slow going at getting down stairs because she wasn't moving at any great pace.

"Here's my Emu." Pops held out his arms to his great grandson and Sam yelped and charged into them as soon as they hit the bottom step and Mae let go of his hand.

"Pops. We've got a problem."

"What?"

"My water just broke."

"Why?"

"Ummm, I think I am in labour. I'm going to call George. Can you call Lola?"

"And tell her what?"

"Just tell her my water broke, she'll friggin' understand." Adam was a little confused when Mae snapped at him but he did as he was told.

Lola looked at her phone. "Do you need to get that?" Dr Rupert asked. She had explained that she had left her heavily pregnant sister at home with her two year old and her recalcitrant 93 year old grandfather.

"Lola, Mae says her water broke." Adam barked at her. He was starting to panic because Mae was freaking out. She'd called George and he was on his way but it would take him a good half hour to get there. Apart from calling an ambulance there was nothing else they could do. Adam couldn't drive, although he offered, insisting that he was a good driver 'back in the day' and Mae was in no state. And Mae wasn't leaving him home with Sam, there was no way he could look after him.

Lola was a lot closer than George was and Dr Rupert told her to go. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Is that okay? It's early, 4 weeks and it's a small baby because Mae had been unwell with the flu a month or so ago." Lola was anything but calm, she had a million thoughts running through her head. "It's her first, so we have no idea what she labours like. She'll be freaking out, Pops will be beside himself and Sam will be doing god knows what."

Dr Rupert put her hand on Lola's shaking one. "Let's go. I'll drive."

By the time Lola and Dr Rupert arrived. Mae was on all fours resting her head on her forearms and rocking back and forth, Adam was in tears on his knees at her side and Sam wasn't much better. "Up Mae, Up." He kept tugging on her arm. Lola panicked a little seeing Adam on the floor, not to mention Mae.

"Where's George?" Lola scooped up Sam and tried to calm him down, she didn't want him stressing Mae out and Dr Rupert helped Adam up off the floor and into the chair. She asked him if he was okay and he barked at her that he was fine 'if you could help my granddaughter I'd appreciate it." Dr Rupert just patted his hand and assured him that she would look after them both.

"He's coming."

"Have you called an ambulance?"

"Not yet. I didn't think it would happen this quick. I was waiting for George."

Lola introduced her to Dr Rupert. "Okay Mae, let's take a look at what's going on." They helped her onto her back and Dr Rupert and Lola got her out of her underwear, luckily she was wearing a dress and they could keep her covered, Adam and Sam didn't need to see her in all her glory. She'd asked Adam to take Sam away but he refused to leave his Mom and Adam didn't want to leave Mae. The last thing he wanted to see was his granddaughter give birth but he couldn't leave his sweet Mae either. Sam finally sat on Adam's lap and Lola kept talking to him.

"Mae, this is happening now. You are about to have a baby." The baby was well and truly on its way down the birth canal.

"I know." She groaned and got back on her hands and knees and started rocking again, she was more comfortable that way. "Where's George? Can you call him please? I need George."

Lola called him and he was about five minutes away. He didn't even give her a chance to speak before he was barking questions at her.

"George, she's fully dilated. There is an ambulance on the way but it may not make it in time. She's doing great." Lola could sense his panic. "I've bought Dr Rupert with me, she's a Paediatrician and she's taking care of Mae."

"Fuck, Lola." He was finding it hard to concentrate on his driving.

"George, just breathe and slow down don't do anything stupid. All that matters is that Mae is doing well and you get here in one piece. You know this." If George had an accident trying to get home to Mae it would destroy her completely.

"And the baby?"

"George, Mae is doing really well. Dr Rupert isn't worried." Truth be told, they had no idea what was going on with the baby, they had no monitors and until the baby was born they wouldn't know anything. "The labour is quick but not abnormal. Mae is about to give birth though."

They could hear the sirens in the distance as George flew through the door, he was on his knees cradling Mae's face as she sobbed which then became a groan as another contraction started to build, there was barely a minute between them. Lola had been supporting Mae's body weight and George took over. He hadn't had time to even ask what was going on. She had gone from her water's breaking to fully dilated and crowning in just over 30 minutes, the last fifteen minutes had been intense. "Okay Dad, good timing." Dr Rupert rested her hand on Mae's back, she was on her knees and George was holding her up. "Sweetheart, next contraction I want a big push."

George felt her superhuman strength as she pushed and then collapsed against him, he was struggling to get his head around this. Half an hour ago he was in a meeting and now he was watching his wife give birth to his first child on a lounge room floor. It felt like he was watching a movie. "Good job Mae, the head is out so just one more little push and let's meet your baby."

"Is it okay?" She asked breathlessly.

"No cord around the neck so that's a good thing." Dr Rupert nodded to Lola. "Want to do the honours?"

Lola looked at Mae quickly and she nodded and Lola took over and guided Mae's baby into her hands. "Hey George, look." Mae's head was resting on George's shoulder as she tried to catch her breath, she closed her eyes and waited for that sweet sound. Her baby cried as Lola held it up for George to see. Adam let out a startled groan as they heard the gush of fluid hit the floor.

"Oh, It's a girl."

"Really?" Mae could barely breathe. George was kissing her face and staring at his daughter as Lola held her up. He helped Lola ease Mae over so she was now sitting with her back against George.

"It's a beautiful little girl." Mae gasped when she got to hold her baby and they both held her tight against Mae's body.

The paramedics arrived just as Mae and George held their baby for the first time. "I see we are too late."

"Yep, a healthy little girl and Mom is ready for you." Dr Rupert was happy with the newborn at first glance and she left her on Mom's chest as she checked her skin tone, reflexes and respiratory rate. She was screaming blue murder which was a good sign, she was tiny though and seemed below average for her gestational age. She wanted her checked out in hospital but the best thing for her right now was her parent's touch. Lola helped her pulled down her top and remove her bra so that the baby could lie against her skin.

The paramedics worked quickly, cutting the cord and delivering an intact placenta. Mae had done beautifully well. It was a text book delivery, if not a little sudden.

Lola wiped her hands and caught Sam as he flung himself at his mother. Adam had been holding him back but he had fought his way free, he hadn't liked the noise and chaos in the room. "Hey Sam, look at your cousin. Aunty Mae has a baby girl. You are such a lucky boy."

Mae could see Pops sitting in the chair with tears in his eyes. "Come meet her Pops." Mae called him over. They had helped her up on the gurney. George was cradling his daughter as Pops touched her with a shaking hand, he held Mae's hand with the other.

"Mabel, she's perfect, just like your mother was, just like you were." Adam kissed her tiny fingers.

She looked at George and smiled. They had talked about this and decided that if it was a girl they knew her name. "Her name is Poppy."

"Hi Poppy. Your Pops loves you so much already." He cried and then he bent over and kissed his granddaughter. "And I love you so much Mabel, thank you for Poppy, she's beautiful like you. Your Mom and Dad would be so proud of you, MiMi would be so happy for you."

Poppy Elizabeth Hollister Burrows was a tiny piece of perfection. Dark hair, dark eyes and a perfect little nose and ruby red lips, ten beautiful fingers and toes. She was red faced as she recovered from her dramatic arrival but they didn't care, they were heaven.

George handed her back to her mother and both Dr Rupert and Lola suggested that Mae offer her a breast before they loaded her up into the back of the ambulance. Poppy fussed around, unable to stop crying long enough or open her mouth wide enough to get the nipple in her mouth but they got there. "Is this okay?" Mae asked her sister. She had no idea what she was doing but she knew in that moment that Poppy started nursing that she was a mother.

"Does it hurt?" Lola took a quick look and it looked like Poppy had managed to get the whole thing in her mouth, which was much better than Sam did at his first go.

"No, but it feels weird."

"As long as it doesn't hurt that's okay. It will feel strange." Lola stroked her tiny niece's head. "She's so perfect Mae. Today has been amazing."

"I don't know what I am doing." Mae couldn't stop the tears. "I wish Mom was here."

Lola rested her forehead on her sister's. "I know Monkey but I am here. Never forget that, day or night. I know it's not the same but I'm here."

George wiped away his own tears. Seeing Mae so perfectly happy and sad at the same time was always a struggle for him. He looked at Adam who was sitting back down with his head in his hands. George crouched down in front of the old man and held his hands over Adam's. "Hey Adam. She's okay."

"I know."

"Her name, it's for you and for Polly." George kissed his forehead. "Thank you for Polly, I wish I knew her and thank you for raising Mae. Without you and Polly she wouldn't be here for me to love. She's an incredible woman and she's going to be an incredible mother to Poppy. She is lucky to have you in her life, they both are."

"I love her so much George."

"And she adores you, this is all she wanted. She wanted you to meet her baby."

"She's beautiful. I'm so happy."

Lola told him it was time to go with Mae and Poppy and she would bring Pops in to see them soon. George jumped into the back of the ambulance with Mae. "Big day hey?" He was leaning over and watching Poppy try and figure out life in her mother's arms. "I can't believe she's here."

"I feels a little surreal." Mae stroked her cheek. "Are you happy?"

"Mabel, I've never been happier. Never. I always thought it was a girl but I seriously can't believe we have a daughter. I can't believe I'm a Dad."

"I can't believe I gave birth on Lola's lounge room floor with Pops and Sam in the room."

"Yeah, well, not like we planned." George screwed up his nose. "I'm glad I don't have to clean up that mess. There was a lot of crap coming out of you and of course, this angel." He kissed Poppy's tiny hand, that had made its way out of the blanket she was covered with and was resting on her mother's neck.

"And Lola delivering her." George told her he liked that, that he thought that was a really special thing between them. He knew his Dad was involved in their births so it was perfect for Mae that Lola was there. It was his biggest fear, that he would have to get involved, he was just happy to support Mae and let her do her thing and while he didn't know what was going on she seemed to do it well.

Mae gasped all of a sudden.

"What?"

"I think she just peed on me."

Sal, the paramedic took a quick peek under the blankets and sure enough spotted the spreading wet patch. "Congratulations Mom, welcome to the joys of parenting. Your first wee." He swiftly tucked a towel under Poppy and changed out the blanket. "It's a rite of passage. Maybe Dad will get the first Poop."

Dr Rupert was waiting for them at the hospital. It wasn't her usual thing but Mae had asked her to come and follow through with Poppy. She had organised a neonatologist to come and see the baby and Poppy got a clean bill of health. She was small, 5lbs9ozs, which just kept her above being considered 'lowbirth weight' and out of the Special care nursery and she was doing well. They would need Mae to stay a couple of days just to make sure Poppy was feeding well but that was it, she was perfect.

George had a cuddle with Poppy while Mae had a shower, she felt grotty and was still cramping badly and the water was soothing. George was a little terrified at being left alone with her, he had no idea what he was doing so he just held her and didn't move.

Lola had called Riley as soon as they left. "Babe, Mae just had her baby."

"What? Where? Is she here?"

"She's on her way, she gave birth on our lounge room floor. It's a girl, she had a little girl." It was all hitting Lola like a tonne of bricks. "It was amazing. I delivered her. Her name is Poppy and she's beautiful. I want a baby girl."

"Woah, woah, settle down. You can have a baby whenever you want but you may want this little rush of adrenaline to subside first. You were cursing your son early this morning, remember?" Sam had been a turd when he woke up at four and wanted to talk rather than go back to sleep.

Lola just ignored him. He knew she was getting ready to have another baby; she was never going to stop at one and ever since Mae had been pregnant she had started talking about it more and more. "She's so tiny and perfect."

"I'll go see them. Where are you?"

"At home, cleaning up the mess. It was all happening; Mae was here with Pops and Sam while I was meeting Dr Rupert and Pops called me to say her water had broken, it was chaos. I will bring Pops in soon, he wants to see Mae and make sure she's okay, he's so excited. Sam was a shit, he's still being a shit."

"And you want another one?"

"Yes."

"Okay." He laughed. "We'll do something about that later."

Riley snuck in quickly between patients. "I hear I need a new rug at home?" He hugged Mae and then peered at the little girl lying on her Daddy's chest. "Wow what a stunner. Takes after her mother."

"I think so too, thank god."

Riley touched her little hand, balled tightly into a fist. "Hi Poppy." He winked at George. "How lucky are we man? Two beautiful women who apparently love us enough to give us these awesome little humans."

"These Ruzek Hollister women are god damn superheroes." George agreed. "Lola was a legend."

As soon as Riley left Mae had called her brother. "Hey Monkey, how's it going?"

"Good."

"Are you getting fat?" Alfie always asked, it annoyed Mae no end but George had told them that Mae needed to put on weight and he took it as a personal challenge.

"Actually I've lost some weight."

Alfie was a little distracted, if he'd stopped and thought about what Mae was saying he would have heard the laughter in her voice. "Why? What's going on? What do we have to do now?"

"I've lost nearly six pounds today."

"Fuck, Mae that's a shit load. What's going on?"

"Well Poppy weighs 5lbs 9ozs."

"Mae…what the fuck are you talking about?"

"I am talking about your niece, Poppy. She's beautiful Alfie. Can you come and meet her?"

"Oh my god, you've had the baby? It's early?" Alfie was so excited about being in Chicago this time. He wasn't around when Sam was born and he had been almost two months old before he met him. While it was still in his plans to go back to Australia he had decided to stay in Chicago for the time being and seeing Mae's baby was a big part of that decision too, along with Pops.

"She's perfect. It was all a bit dramatic. Lola is at home cleaning up the mess I made on her lounge room floor and probably helping Pops breath through a panic attack."

"You didn't?"

"I did. On Lola's floor. We are at Med now."

They called Iris next. "Oh my god." Iris squealed when she heard the baby crying in the background. "Is that a baby? Have you had the baby? Oh my god, what is it? Mae, tell me. It's a girl isn't it? I want a girl."

"Well stop talking then." Mae loved Iris's excitement. "It's a girl Bug, she's tiny and perfect and we are so in love with her. I can't wait for you to meet her."

"Oh a girl, I knew it."

"Her name is Poppy. Poppy Elizabeth."

"I love it." Iris was giddy. "I love her already, can I come in."

"Of course, why do you think I called you? Poppy needs to meet her Aunt."


	24. Pops

The first few hours of Poppy's life where hectic, not that she cared, she just calmly took it all in from the very safe arms of the two people who loved her the most.

George and Mae spent a little time alone with her. Her dramatic and rapid birth meant that the Doctors really wanted to check her out once they got to hospital and also Mae was seen by her obstetrician and they both got a clean bill of health. They let the shock subside a little and Mae fed her again under the supervision of a Lactation Consultant who was happy with her attempts so far. She was encouraged to feed her as often as she could if she thought Poppy was interested in trying, the more she did that the better it would be for both of them.

George had been busy on his phone while Mae was feeding, it was slow process as they both got used to it and he kept showing Mae his work and she loved what he was doing. He had taken a photo and did some editing before sending it to his mother. '_Hey Mom, I'm just about to send you something, let me know what you think….'_

Olivia looked at the photo which was initially blurry but gradually it came into focus to reveal George's hand with a tiny little hand resting in his palm, her perfect little fingers spread out on her Daddy's palm. She just about dropped her phone trying to ring him and get her husband's attention at the same time.

"You've had the baby …." She literally screamed down the phone. He put her on speaker so Mae could hear it too. They loved hearing people's excitement for their baby. They were excited too… "It's early, is Mae okay? Boy or Girl? Is everything okay?"

"Take a breath Mom. Her name is Poppy and she arrived suddenly a few hours ago on Lola's lounge room floor. We are in Med now and they are both doing beautifully. Mae did really well and Poppy is little, 5lbs 9ozs but healthy."

"A girl?" His mother could barely speak. "A granddaughter?"

"Yes, it's a girl, she's perfect Mom. We'd both love for you to come meet her."

Olivia and Scott came in to meet their first grandchild and Olivia was besotted with her, although George had asked them to wait a day before bringing in his younger brother and sister. Matthew and Lily were 12 and a little wild. Mae was struggling a bit now that the initial buzz had worn off and she was overwhelmed and he just wanted her to recover a little. It had been a very intense few hours. At this point in time it was much more important for his Mom and Step Dad to meet Poppy, the rest of the day had to be about Mae's family and she understood that.

It was a little bittersweet for Mae seeing Poppy with her grandmother and George could sense it and sat up on the bed with his arm wrapped around Mae's shoulder, she leant into him and appreciated his steadiness and that he just knew what she needed. Olivia was lovely and sweet and had welcomed Mae with open arms. She understood how challenging things were for Mae sometimes and throughout the pregnancy she had spent a lot of time with her. She knew she could never replace even a tiny piece of her mother or Grandmother but she wanted to support her, George loved her and they adored Mae too and if she made her son happy that was good enough for her.

When George and Mae had told Olivia that she was pregnant Olivia had sat stunned for a few moments. Her hands over her mouth. "Oh my…I didn't expect this so soon."

"Neither did we." Mae imagined this would be how her mother would react too and that made her a little emotional. "George has some A grade swimmers it seems but we are really excited, slightly terrified and walk around in a daze most days."

"I am so happy for you both, hell I am happy for me. A grandmother, huh, I never dreamed." Suddenly Olivia clamped her mouth shut. She knew this would be tough for Mae. "Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Olivia, I am really happy and I can't wait and you will be such a wonderful grandmother, you've got a big job ahead of you."

Mae had appreciated Olivia's gentle support throughout her pregnancy and she begged George to let her know if Mae needed her to back off. She was never offended when George told her that Mae was struggling and if she could hang back for a little bit. It was only ever a few days and Olivia respected Mae's space. They had a lovely relationship and Mae would ask her about her pregnancies considering she'd had four and shared all the important milestones with George's family as well as her own.

Mae was happy for Olivia and Scott to meet her baby before the rest of her mob had the chance. It was important to George. Poppy was his child as well and he wanted his family in her life, sometimes her family could be overwhelming and monopolise their time a little. Mae loved seeing how happy George was to introduce his daughter to his parents, he was proudly holding her when they came in, he was besotted with her already and Mae couldn't stop watching him.

George also eventually sent the same photo to the rest of his family and even though Mae had talked Iris and Alfie they sent it to them as well. It was too beautiful not to share. Mae loved it and watched it several times herself.

It wasn't long before Lola, Sam and Adam came in. Sam was fascinated with the baby and sat up next to his Pops while Adam had his first cuddle. "I remember holding your grandmother for the first time." He reminisced. "I thought I'd fuck her up."

"Pops." Lola admonished him. Sam was going to come out with that any day now, he was a chatterbox and loved copying everything he heard. It had taken her a while to get Sam to calm down after Mae left. The whole event had freaked him out, he had sat on Pops lap for half of it with his hands over his ears telling Mae to 'stop'. Once Lola had cleaned up Sam climbed into Lola's arms and had a good long cuddle with his Mom.

"What?" he had been so lost in his memories he had no idea what he'd said. "I'm talking to Poppy." He turned his focus back to his great granddaughter. "She was so beautiful, like your Mom is too. They loved her so much, their little Monkey Mae-Bell." He was in a world of his own where only he and Poppy existed. "Your Momma was this angry little thing, I think she just wanted to cuddle us and we couldn't cuddle her. The only time she didn't cry in those first few days was when she was with her Mom and Dad. That hurt your grandmother so much listening to her cry in her box. You are not going to hurt us though because you know better, you'll treat your Momma right won't you my little Poppy."

They just let Adam go, he was so enamoured by his great granddaughter, he adored his boys, Gus, Alfie Charlie and Sam, he was a great father and grandfather but he had always had a soft spot in his heart for his girls and that had started the day he first held Polly in his arms. He was still holding her when Iris came barrelling through the door. "Oh my god, she's so little." She barely stopped to say Hi to anyone as she made a beeline for Pops.

"She is." Mae and George both loved how excited Iris was. Sam was babbling away, calling her 'bub bub' but he wouldn't touch her although he wanted to be close to anyone who was cuddling Poppy.

"I didn't think they came this small. You needed to cook for longer little lady." She touched her hand that was curled up against her cheek. "She's so precious Mae."

"We like her."

"Poppy is such a cute name. It reminds me of Pops."

Adam snorted. "Well duh, of course they'd name her after me. Someone had too, I've been asking for years. I really wanted Adamaris though."

"Let it go Pops." Lola laughed. "It's not happening."

"Does it remind you of anything else?" Iris just looked confused when Lola asked. "Poppy, Polly?"

They didn't expect Iris to burst into tears. "Oh it's so beautiful. Thank you." She finally hugged her sister. "She's so perfect Mae, I want to snuggle her forever."

Pops finally handed her over to her Aunt and Iris kept crying. They weren't surprised at how emotional she was, she was a walking talking bag of emotions. Sam knelt up beside her. "Bug, Bub." He muttered and Iris wrapped one arm around him as well, her two favourite little people.

"Love you Sam my man." Iris kissed his sandy blond hair.

"Colton better keep his powder dry."

"Oh don't you worry about that, I'm not having one of these any time soon. Colton's too flaky still."

"Friggin' hope not." Pops scoffed. "Bug's too young to be having sex anyway."

"Shush Pops." Iris winked at him.

Alfie stopped in on his way home from work. He was enamoured with his little niece and slightly terrified of her, she was so tiny and fragile. Mae had to encourage him to cuddle her. He was happy to look at her in his sister's arms though. "She needs a cuddle Alfie."

"I'll break her." Mae just handed her over. "Wow." He couldn't believe how light she felt. "Wow. This is insane. Mae, she's insane."

"Good or bad insane?"

"So, so good." Alfie actually had tears in his eyes. "She's amazing Monkey, I can't believe how much I love her already. George if you ever need help tying some boy up you let me know, I'm your man." He'd never held a baby this small or young before. Charlie was probably the last baby he held and he barely remembered that. "Hey Poppy, if Mom or Dad don't give you the world you tell your Uncle Alfie, I've got your back baby girl." He was so sweet with her and Mae loved it. She loved that her daughter was surrounded by all these people who would protect her.

As soon as she let out a cry though he couldn't give her back quick enough.

When visiting hours were over they were a little relieved. George finally got his hands on his precious girl. She was laying on his bare chest, her warm skin on his. Apparently it was the best thing for her, it would help her regulate her temperature and skin-on-skin contact helped with settling Poppy and helping her adjust to life outside the womb. It would make her feel safe and he wanted that more than anything.

Mae had fed her again and was now trying to get some sleep. She was exhausted, it had been a big day and an emotional rollercoaster, which they had been anticipating but it had taken its toll on Mae physically and mentally. The tiny little girl disappeared, safely cradled in her Dad's arms, his hands covered her completely and she felt weightless but the burden of being a father to a tiny girl weighed heavy on him. How something so small could rattle him so much was surprising. He didn't expect her to be so little and have such a powerful grip on her heart. He didn't talk, he just sat and stared at her sleeping in his arms and let the tears flow.

He was a father; he had a daughter and he suddenly had a better understanding of the pain Adam had endured. He couldn't imagine not having his girl in his life. He'd been a father for less than a day and he would be devastated if he lost her. He thought of Mae, how hard it had been for her to go through most of her life without her parents and he finally got it, he'd also thought he understood her but right now he realised that he'd barely scratched the surface of Mae's pain. He never wanted Poppy to experience what her mother had been through.

Another thing that surprised him was he thought about Mae and the abuse she endured and how even the thought of someone hurting Poppy like Mae had been hurt was crushing. He honestly didn't know how he would cope with something like that, how Adam, Gus and Alfie coped with it. Here she was, a few hours old and he would kill for her. Mae had taught him a lot about himself and now Poppy was a whole new journey for him.

Mae had always surprised him with how keenly she felt things. She was a lot more open and emotional than Lola. He knew that Lola had her moments but Mae's outburst were more visible and her silences were hard to witness and endure. The pregnancy had been tough for her, she had assured George that she was happy, that she couldn't wait to hold her baby but that she was missing her parents more than ever. She also missed her MiMi and seeing Adam struggle with old age was a stark reminder to them constantly that they wouldn't have him for much longer. Mae struggled with that too, the constant fear that Adam wouldn't see her baby, just like MiMi had never met Sam. He was relieved that Adam was there, that he was one of the first people to meet her and he knew that meant the world to Mae.

When she was sick in hospital Adam insisted on sitting with her all day when George was at work. George would pick him up in the morning and Lola, Iris or Alfie would take him home at the end of the day so George could spend a bit of time alone with Mae. Adam worried about her constantly and as frustrated as Mae got sometimes she just let Adam do what he needed to do. If they tried to stop Adam coming in he would get angry and upset and they couldn't bear it. He didn't have much in his life anymore, his son and his grandchildren were his whole world. Taking that away from him seemed cruel.

George sat with Poppy while Mae slept and didn't wake her until Poppy started to stir. He'd turned his phone off and just enjoyed the couple of hours with his daughter. He found it hard to believe that they had made something so perfect. He found it hard to believe someone he'd met for the first time today owned him like she did. And Mae, his beautiful Mae he couldn't love her more if he tried.

"You had a good sleep?" George dragged his eyes away from Poppy when he saw Mae roll over. "How you feeling?"

"Like I pushed 5lbs of human out of my body." Mae grimaced as she eased her way to the edge of the bed. "I need to pee and I am scared shitless."

"Why?"

"Because my bits are on fucking fire. I don't remember Lola telling me this."

"What can I do?"

"Get a vasectomy."

"Because that worked so well for your parents didn't it?"

"I am willing to give it a try."

"And then what will Poppy do? I mean you and your sisters and brother are stuck to each other like shit to a blanket. She deserves that chance."

"Don't start that shit with me, she'll be fine as an only child." Mae waved her hand over her head as she hobbled into the bathroom. He cringed a little when he heard her groan. He didn't need to see the damage Poppy did to her mother, he could hear it.

"How is it?"

"Fucking fantastic. It burning like all shit, there is blood everywhere, it's like a fucking crime scene." Mae curled her lip. It wasn't pleasant. "It's fucking horrific. Lucky she is so perfect. I have a surfboard jammed between my legs and you get to just sit there and be a doting Dad without leaking orifices and nipples like dinner plates."

"But look…she's so pretty." He pointed at the baby. He had nervously changed her and wrapped her up ready for her mother. They liked that the room was warm so that Poppy didn't need clothes at the moment. She was in a diaper and wrapped in a blanket so that when Mae fed her it was skin-on-skin. It was encouraged to get as much skin on skin contact as possible in the first twenty-fours hours so they hadn't dressed her in any clothes yet. Poppy had been cuddled most of the day and that had kept her warm. Mae had done a lot of reading about how she wanted Poppy's early hours to evolve and George loved how passionate she was about doing what was best for their newborn.

Mae just muttered something unintelligible but he figured it was probably better not to know.

George helped her back into bed and then handed her Poppy. She had certainly well and truly decided she was hungry. He watched Mae feed her, it amazed him that she could do that. He had always understood that breast feeding was the best thing for a new baby but he didn't think he'd love seeing it as much as he did. However Mae chose to feed their baby was fine with him. Now, watching them learning together and the look of wonder on Mae's face he just wanted this to last forever.

"Can I get you anything?"

"I am thirsty. I'd kill for a cup of tea." Mae smiled at him. "And an ice-pack to sit on."

George kissed her forehead. "Your wish is my command."

He went and rustled up a cup of tea. It was going to be shit but it was better than nothing and asked the midwife for the Ice-pack. He thought the look of relief on Mae's face was amusing however he was smart enough not to say anything.

They were delighted when Dr Rupert came by in the morning and took a look at Poppy. She was doing well and starting to feed better although it was quite erratic. She would sleep for an hour then want to feed on and off for a couple of hours and then slept for three hours. Mae's nipples were already copping a battering and she had fast realised that this whole process wasn't like all those Instagram posts showcasing the serenity of new life and the bliss of motherhood, it was ugly, brutal and exhausting.

"You have a perfect little girl. They tell me she's doing well."

"She is, don't know what I am doing though." Mae was grateful that Lola had bought Dr Rupert with her yesterday, she was panicked enough so having a Paediatrician with her was such a relief. She didn't care about herself she cared about her baby. Her baby had to be okay, there was no other option. "Thank you so much for everything."

"You did all the hard work. It is always a privilege to watch a new life come into the world. I think Poppy is a very lucky little girl." Dr Rupert handed her back to her mother. "I am sure Lola will let me know how she is going. I would be happy to see you in my clinic for your six week check."

They got to bath Poppy once Dr Rupert had left. They had decided to leave her unbathed last night, they just wanted to love her. Mae watched George fumble through, he was terrified of hurting her and she was screaming blue murder. Her skinny little legs were jerking around and her fists were tight little balls. She did love the water and then screamed again when George lifted her out. "Hey, hey my little lady. Daddy's got you." It felt strange to hear the word Daddy come out of his mouth. It hadn't sunk in yet.

"That sounds so sweet." Mae leant on his shoulder and watched them. He was so gentle with her; it was like he thought he'd break her. "Daddy."

"It's bit surreal. I think if I keep saying it at some point I will stop wondering who you are talking about."

"Well I love my baby Daddy." Mae leant her elbows on the bench while George tried to dress her. She touched her head and talked to her softly. "I'm gonna marry your Daddy."

"Don't tease me."

Mae looked at him. "You know how you ask me every week?"

"Yep." It had become a thing with them, it was almost their way of saying I love you. At least that's what George felt like anyway. Once a week he would grab Mae's hand and ask her to marry him. She'd pat his face, kiss him or just laugh and tell him that she loved him too.

"So I might say yes."

"Great. Marry Me?"

"Yes."

Poppy did not like being dressed, she liked to be wrapped up tight but she squirmed and squawked when Colton put clothes on her, she had obviously preferred having nothing on. It was a tiniest little cry but she made her feelings known. Swaddling her again and hugging her tightly calmed her down and they were more than happy to cuddle her if she wanted it. Learning how to care and understand a newborn was harder than they ever imagined.

_Well, that was a buzz. She's here, a little earlier than we expected but yesterday we welcomed our beautiful little girl into the world. With just a touch of drama Poppy Elizabeth Hollister Burrows has changed our lives for the better. Many thanks to Mae's sister Lola, Dr Rupert, Adam and Sam for making her first few minutes one to remember, for us anyway. Sorry about the mess on the floor Lola and Riley, we will buy you a new rug._

_Poppy is healthy, feeding well and she has turned us into those people, those people who think their baby is the most amazingly beautiful baby in the world, of course, this time it's actually true. Poppy weighed in at 5lbs 9ozs so we will be spending a couple of days in hospital just until she gets the hang of this life thing and we get a handle on her style of doing things, which so far is pretty cruisy, with a touch of erratic thrown in for good measure._

_Mabel, watching you fall in love with our girl has been mesmerising. You blow me away, you've blown me away every day for the past two years. Poppy is perfect. Thank you for our beautiful girl. You are beyond amazing._

The first couple of days they worried about taking her home but now she was getting the hang of her Mae was ready.

"This is important Poppy." Mae cooed at her daughter. "Your MiMi came home in this blanket, so did your Grandma and I did too so it's your turn baby girl. Today, you get to come home. Daddy is so excited."

George had been desperate to get them home. She had stayed in hospital for four days just until she got the hang of feeding and started putting on weight. She needed to be feed every two hours because she was taking so little milk and she tired quickly but when she was on she was dedicated to the task; nothing could distract her when she was hungry and delaying things by changing her diaper did nothing to impress her. Poppy was such a precious little thing though and despite her tiny size she was a strong healthy little girl.

"I can't wait to get you home. I just want to cuddle you all day with your Daddy." Mae stroked her cheek. "We love Daddy don't we? You are such a lucky little lady, you wait and see."

George was in early; he had stayed the first couple of nights but had gone home the past two. He'd gone back to work because Poppy's unexpected early arrival had thrown everyone for a loop. One night he went out with Riley and Alfie and his brother, Elijah, who had flown in from New York to meet Poppy and to wet her head. He'd crawled home way too late and Mae would have killed him if he had even tried to come in and stay with her. Even the next day he still had that stale booze smell seeping out of his pores and Mae refused to let him hold Poppy until the evening.

"My lovely ladies, lets' blow this joint." He kissed Mae and scooped Poppy out of her arms and kissed his daughter's forehead. "Let's get this show on the road."

By the time they got home they had one hungry girl, either that or she hated the car. They hoped it was hunger. Mae always remembered her Dad driving Iris around the streets in the middle of the night and she knew that Lola had done it with Sam as well. Having a child who hated the car threw a spanner in the works, it was one of their plans if things went to shit.

She went at her mother like she was possessed. Before Mae even got her bra un-latched her mouth was open and waiting like a bird. When she finally got her wish she clamped down on Mae before she had the whole nipple in her mouth and Mae groaned loudly as she did her best to detach her. Poppy was un-impressed and wailed angrily. "Well this sucks." Mae rested her head back on the headrest of the feeding chair George insisted they needed when Poppy latched on properly. "She's so impatient."

"Just loves those boobs. I know how she feels."

"These veiny, engorged sacks of milk." Mae was not loving the postnatal life. "So attractive."

"Love 'em." George winked. "Love 'em a lot."

She may not have loved what becoming a mother did to her body but they loved Poppy. They could have sat and held her and stared at her all day, if they could get her off Pops and Iris. Those two were always scrapping over who was going to have a cuddle. George had asked them to give them today at home though jus the three of them. He wanted Mae to come home and settle in before they were inundated with visitors. It didn't stop her phone ringing and beeping constantly though and she did fire off a few photos of their little Poppy safely at home.

George made her have a sleep when Poppy slept. He contemplated joining her but he had some emails to respond to and he wanted to get a start on dinner. It felt strange to have them both in the house, life had been on steroids for the past two years, ever since Mae walked into his office. Surreal was probably the best way to describe things. He looked around the lounge room, there was a car seat, a pram, bags of gifts, blankets, cards, flowers and he shook his head. Poppy had turned their life upside down in four days.

It took him a second to realise what the noise was, he was deep in his emails when he heard the squawk. She had such a quiet little cry, although in the middle of the night it certainly didn't sound quiet and once she got going she really put it all out there. He could hear Mae talking to her and was just about to head up when they came downstairs.

"You okay? Do you need something?" Poppy wasn't happy, she was ferreting around at Mae's chest, given half the chance she'd probably try and suck milk through her shirt and bra.

"Do you have boobs?"

"Not useful ones." He refilled her water bottle when Mae handed it to him, she was chronically thirsty all the time at the moment. "Sleep okay?"

"Not for long enough but I was out like a light. I find is amusing how I can be dead asleep and as soon as she starts making a noise I am wide awake. Nothing used to wake me up."

"Don't I know it."

"Get some work done?" George sat down beside them, he loved watching Poppy feed, she was so focussed. He loved how her hand would rest on her mother's chest, her tiny fingers spread out and trying to grab a handful of her mother's skin.

"Yep. Can't wait until I can turn it off." He was just waiting for some final materials to be approved by a client and then he could pass it off to his colleague who was taking over for the couple of weeks he was off. He had planned that it would all be done before he left but Poppy's early arrival had caught them on the hop. He couldn't wait, two weeks at home with his girls was going to be perfect.

"Me either." She had to admit it was kicking her ass. The euphoria was wearing off and it was starting to feel a little exhausted and coming home was frightening. Poppy had her own schedule and whatever it was it changed constantly. They were trying to figure out what she wanted, what she liked and didn't like and establish some kind of feeding routine. They were solely responsible for this little helpless life and that was daunting. "I'm loving being home though."

"I love having you both here. It's been lonely without you."

"You know you are not allowed to touch me right? Like ever again."

"Wrong answer, although I will be a gentleman and refrain from hitting on you today."

"And tomorrow."

"Hmmm." He stroked Poppy's foot. "No promises. You are so fucking hot right now."

"Oh sure, I haven't washed my hair in days, I've got shit leaking out every-fucking-where, my boobs are like bazookas and my nipples are red raw and enormous, my vag I swear looks like something died and I have this flabby stomach that looks like I am still pregnant. So attractive." Her milk had come in yesterday, a day or so earlier than they expected which meant that Mae could come home. They just wanted to see Poppy feeding well and she coped with the extra milk Mae suddenly had available for her, although the first few mouthfuls made her choke.

George tried not to cringe, he knew Mae was doing it tough and she had called him into the bathroom yesterday when she had forgotten to grab a towel, it wasn't pretty but they both agreed Poppy was worth it. "I don't think you quite understand what it's like seeing the woman you love give birth and now feed your child, you are the only thing that's keeping her alive and I know you are tired but it's still fucking hot and sexy." He kissed her temple. "I think you are incredible; I think it was amazing what you just did for us and what you are doing for Poppy. I know I had hand in making her but you grew her and you kept her alive and are keeping her alive and that's amazing. I mean life doesn't get any better than this does it?" George snuggled in and kissed Poppy's hand as it lay on Mae's chest. "I love every single cell in your body."

"Ahh so sweet. Enough to still want to marry me?" They hadn't talked about it since the day after Poppy arrived. Sure it was only a couple of days ago but they had got swept up in learning to care for their daughter and it never came up.

"I'd marry you tomorrow."

"Yeah?" She got a twinkle in her eye. That was how she wanted to do it. Just rip off the band aid and get it done. No fanfare, no party, no celebration, just them. George wasn't entirely convinced that's what she wanted. He didn't want her to regret her decision down the track and he knew how much her family meant to her. That damn letter terrified her though and he never quite understood why. Now was probably not the right time to challenge her on that either but then again, George often put her to the sword. Four days postnatal seemed harsh though, so he bit his lip. If she bought up a quickie wedding again then he'd have to say something. He didn't want to let her exclude her family, it would be right or fair to them and he knew she'd regret it. Adam would be devastated as well and if he had to play that card he would.

"Yeah, but we are not getting married tomorrow."

"Next week? Before you go back to work?"

"Do we even know the rules?"

"No, you don't want to marry me do you?" This was not a new development. Mae's tears. Apparently it was not uncommon for all the surging hormones to lead to spontaneous crying and he had been dealing with them since she first fell pregnant.

"Sure, that's why I've asked you every week for the past year."

"I like that." It was a 360 and gave him whiplash some days. "Makes me feel loved."

"I know you do, and I will keep doing it until the day we get married."

"Soon? One day soon." She rolled her head to the side. "Pops want to give me away."

"And he will. I promise you that."


	25. I, Mabel

_'__I Mabel Elizabeth Ruzek Hollister, take you George Edward Webber…'_

Adam watched his precious granddaughter marry her one in a million. Tears streamed down his face and his hands shook as he walked her down the short aisle & let her take George's hand.

George's Mom, Olivia sat with him, holding his hand while she cradled their precious little girl. Poppy slept through the whole thing, at three weeks old she was such a sweet settled little thing, placidly growing every day and being loved by her parents. "Mabel's mother was five months old when I married her grandmother. I like that Poppy is here."

"They look so happy."

"They are happy, I can feel it. George is good for her; he loves her like I loved her grandmother and they will grow old together." Adam had such a good feeling about Mae and George. He'd helped Mae when no one else could and he felt confident that what they'd gone through made them strong.

George had worried that Mae would regret not having her family at her wedding and had tried to talk her out of it. She was insistent that she just wanted Pops, his mother and Poppy with them. If she invited her family they would have to invite George's family and it would become too big and stressful and she wanted it over and done with.

Mae had become distraught thinking that George didn't want to marry her and he was trying to put it off so he had agreed to them getting married at City Hall with just Adam and his mother. He didn't care about where the wedding was, he just wanted to marry her but he also didn't want Mae to regret it.

She looked beautiful, in a simple dark blue wrap dress, her hair pulled up and away from her face and as she got closer he saw the necklace around her neck and it was one he'd never seen before, he expected to see the Rhino. Reaching for her hand he smiled, "Wow, how lucky am I? Are you sure you want to settle for me?"

"Yes. You make beautiful babies with me."

George reached out and touched the necklace. "This is a surprise." He'd never seen it or heard about it and knowing this family it had some meaning.

"My great grandfathers ring, Mom wore it at her wedding, Lola wore it at hers. It's from Gus."

"I'm glad you got to wear it too. I love your family."

Mae had loved listening to George talk to Poppy that morning as her bathed her. "I'm marrying your Mom today and I can't wait." Poppy's eyes were wide as she stared at her Daddy. "I know it means nothing to you right now but trust me, this is big, almost as big as the day we met you." George ran a finger down his daughter's tiny nose. "I love you baby girl and I love your Momma so much. We're going to take care of you, and I'm going to take care of your Mom so she can be the Mom you deserve."

Mae didn't interrupt him, she just listened on the baby monitor. He had so much faith in her to be a good Mom and he was doing great as a Dad. Dressing her quickly he looked at Mae strangely when he bought her downstairs. "What now? Are you having second thoughts?" He handed Poppy to her mother.

"No. Just love you, I love listening to you talk to Poppy. It reminds me of watching those videos of my Dad with us when we were babies."

"He's my inspiration." He hugged Mae; their little girl tucked up in between them. "Let's get you married. You look beautiful by the way."

"I feel like I am in no fit state to wear a dress."

"Dress, no dress, shorts, jeans, leggings…don't care. Just want to marry you."

Poppy was tucked up in her car seat and Mae popped the blanket over her, the same blanket Lola had watched their parents get married wrapped in, the one they all come home in. Mae was picking up Adam while George was heading in with his mother.

"I have something for you." Adam reached for Mae's hand and placed it in her palm. "You have to wear this."

Mae was surprised to look down and see her great grandfather's ring. Her mother had worn it at her wedding, Lola had worn it at hers and now it was Mae's turn. She had no idea how he got it, it belonged to Gus. "How Pops?"

"Don't you worry about that? I've been stealing things for years; it was my job. I was an undercover cop remember and a damn good one."

"I know Pops, you keep telling me."

"You can't get married without it. Gus would never forgive me." Mae handed it to him and Adam slipped the long chain over her head and kissed her forehead. "I love you Mabel, you've filled my heart with such much joy for so long."

"I couldn't have done this without you?"

"What?"

"Everything Pops: survive, thrive, fall in love with George, be a Mom. Everything Pops and I am so glad that you are with me today."

"I love watching you live Mae, I love watching you love, I love watching you fall in love with that precious little girl and I know when my time comes I'll know that you have George to help you be Mae." Adam stroked her cheek. "Just be Mae, because she's good enough, she's spectacular."

George couldn't do it though, he couldn't let her get married without them, so he arranged for the three of them to turn up just as Mae stood in front of him. He glanced over his shoulder and Mae's eyes followed him.

"Oh." She covered her mouth with both her hands and the tears bubbled along her eyelids and slid down her cheek. "You didn't?"

"I did. Is that okay?" George caught them with his thumbs.

"Yes."

Lola, Alfie and Iris slid into the seats behind Pops. Alfie leant forward and squeezed Pops shoulder and Adam patted his hand. George had called Adam that morning and asked him to organise it. The closer it got the more he realised Mae needed them here. George didn't need his family with him as much as Mae needed hers.

"Alfred." Adam had barked down the phone at his grandson. "Your sister is getting married today, I need you to get Lola and Iris and get down to City Hall at 2pm on the dot."

"Wait, what? Hold up Pops."

"Mabel is marrying George. She thinks she just wants me and Olivia there, with Poppy of course but George knows better. He wants to surprise her. Can you do it?"

"Of course I can Pops." He called George and they organised a plan. George had apologised that they had left it until the day of the wedding but he was trying to make Mae happy, it was only last night he realised that meant ignoring her wishes and doing what was right for her. Mae was trying to protect herself from her ghosts and when he caught her looking through her book last night he realised it was who she was and her siblings were part of it and she would regret not having them at her wedding.

All Alfie had to do was tell them and they were both in a tizz and within half an hour everyone was organised. Alfie did tell them not to contact Mae though, that George was surprising her and that was going to be a struggle for them, they just wanted to be with their sister.

It was short and sweet and then they waited while George and Mae had a moment together after they were officially declared husband and wife. Alfie held both his sister's hands as they watched Mae and also Adam who was having his own little moment, they knew he was thinking of MiMi and no doubt of their mother.

George held her tenderly behind her neck and bought his lips to Mae's ear. "You've made me the happiest man in the world by just loving me and for giving me Poppy. I promise I will always adore you."

"I know, I feel it every day." Mae smiled. "Thank you for my perfect day."

"You needed them here."

"I did." Mae rested her hand on his cheek. "I love you so much George. I love that you know me, that you always know what I need and that you always take care of me, all of me."

"That's my job."

Everyone rushed them as soon as they took a step back from each other. Mae made a beeline for Adam first, while George hugged his Mom and took Poppy from her. "Hey little lady, Mommy just made Daddy the happiest man on earth."

Lola, Iris and Alfie all smothered Mae with hugs and kisses and George had been worried that Mae would be upset with him but he took a punt on the fact that he knew her well enough and looking at them now he breathed a sigh of relief. Mae was stunningly happy.

They were surprised when Alfie told them that dinner awaited them all at the zoo. "How?" Mae looked at her brother and new husband.

Alfie tapped his nose playfully. "Never underestimate the Ruzek Hollister mob to pull off a miracle." He hugged his sister when she looked a little panicked. "Don't worry Monkey, I won't do that to you." He whispered in her ear. He knew the reason this was a quickie wedding and why she didn't want people around. "Just enjoy the night."

Not only had Alfie and Andrew pulled off the impossible, with the help of Rhiannon and Heidi but they also managed to get George's family ready and waiting. It was just family and it was everything she secretly wanted but was too scared to ask for.

George put Poppy to bed after she'd fed when they got home while Mae showered. He was in a bit of a sticky situation, there was the small issue of consummating his marriage. It probably wasn't going to happen; they had a three week old baby and Mae's body was still recovering. He'd get over it as long as he got to kiss and cuddle her though. Mae was his wife and he was in heaven.

When Mae came out George was sitting on the bed holding the envelope that Alfie had given him. He honestly didn't know what to do with it.

"That's it, isn't it?"

"It is. What do you want Mae? However you want to do this." He'd leave it up to her to decide, whether she wanted it now or later was up to her but he knew she wanted to read it. He'd leave the room if she wanted to read it alone or he'd sit with her. Personally he wanted to be here, he wanted to hear it too but that was Mae's choice.

"Read it to me." Mae just stood, she didn't move and every time George took a breath and looked at her she was falling apart piece by piece. It was heartbreaking.

_My Monkey Mae–Bell,_

_From the moment you arrived in our world your personality and determination belied your tiny size. When I first met you, you weren't happy but the moment they laid you in your mother's arms all was right in your world and in ours. We adored you, we wanted to hold you and protect you. I vowed to always love you, protect you and help you be you._

_You've challenged us, you made us laugh, cringe, and scramble. You kept us on our toes, but one thing we did learn was that despite that determination in you to do things your way you always came back to us when you needed a hug, a kiss, a warm bed to sleep in, you always knew how to seek comfort, you knew your safe place and we loved being your safe place._

_We loved watching you work out how to be a little sister and a big sister. We loved your unique take on the world around you and always looked forward to seeing what every new day bought for you and for us._

_I know you've found your safe place now; I know you would never settle for anything less. I hope the person you have chosen to love knows how to comfort you, support you, laugh with you, live with you and love you. I hope they love you half as much as I did because that means you are their whole world. As I told your sister, no man will ever love you as much as a father loves his daughter. One day you will know what I mean. _

_I would love to be with you today, a proud Dad watching his beautiful girl be someone else's one-in-a-million. I can only imagine how beautiful and happy you look. Even writing this it brings a tear to my eye thinking about it._

_I don't know how long I haven't been beside you Mae, not physically anyway but I am always with you, in your heart, I will always be a little part of you. Love with everything you have. Live every up and down, and they will come but they will make you stronger and then when the next tough days come along you can hold someone's hand, wrap your arms around them, have them wrap their arms around you and survive._

_I loved your mother until I had nothing left. She was my everything, just like you, your sisters and your brother were our everything._

_I adore you Mae, I did from the day we knew you were there. You made me a better man and a better Dad. The world was a better place with you in it, our home was a better place because of you. _

_My Monkey Mae-Bell, my little piece of perfection. I love you Mabel._

_Be happy, be loved and I hope this guy has perfect little fuckers, like I did, because my little fuckers made you and they made you perfect._

_Love you forever_

_Dad._

Mae buried her face in her hands and sobbed. George wrapped his arms around her. "I promise I'll be everything your Dad wanted for you. I'll be your everything."

"And you have perfect little fuckers."

"I do."

They were probably as close as they'd ever been. Mae curled into his side and he just held her there, close to his heart. "I'm so happy I found you. I love loving you."


	26. Secrets and Lies

Mae didn't know what to think and struggled to stop herself from bursting into tears. The past week had been rough, Poppy was having a growth spurt and had gone from feeding every four hours and sleeping most nights for at least six hours to waking and feeding every two. Lola assured her it would only last a week at most, she was just feeding more to let Mae's body know it was time to up her milk production, but when you were living it, things weren't always that easy to rationalise.

Alexis, George's secretary had been surprised when Mae turned up at the office. "He's not in." She scooped Poppy from Mae's hands. "I thought he was with you?"

"With me?"

"For the past few weeks he's always booked out Tuesday morning for two hours, he said it was personal, I thought it was just to spend a bit more time at home in the morning with you and Poppy."

"Oh…" Mae tried to laugh it off. "… baby brain." Alexis didn't buy it though; the watery eyes gave it away. "Anyway I can't stay." She held her hands out for Poppy and quickly left the office before the tears started to fall.

He wasn't staying at home with her and his daughter, he left the same time as he did every other day of the week. She racked her brain trying to remember if he'd told her anything but she couldn't think of anything. Unsure of what to do she ended up standing outside the Zoo, her mind was racing and none of the thoughts she had were good. She needed the safety of her parents and that was a strange feeling for her because it wasn't something Mae often did. Since she'd had Poppy though, those thoughts and feelings had snuck up on her and it unsettled her a little.

Slipping quietly through the gates she briefly said hello to the cashier but didn't stop. Poppy was starting to get fractious again, she knew her mother was upset and that made her worse. Fortunately the Zoo was still quiet and she could sit under the tree and feed Poppy and try and collect her scrambled thoughts.

Looking up she saw Alfie jogging towards her. Of course someone would have told him she was there. They couldn't get away with anything. "Nice surprise." He dropped to his knees and said hello to Poppy who had just finished feeding and was looking awfully pleased with herself for a change. "What are you doing here so early?"

He didn't expect Mae to burst into tears. "Okay Monkey, talk to me." He took Poppy from her arms and cradled his niece. "Bad day?"

"It's stupid."

"Try me."

"I went to see George and he wasn't there."

"Okay…" he didn't really get the issue.

"He has this secret Tuesday meeting, that's personal and Alexis thought he was just home with us but he leaves early and he's not home with us and he hasn't said anything and I am tired and Poppy is being a pain and I don't know…." She tapered off.

"Have you asked him?"

"I didn't know anything about it Alfie," Mae cried painfully. "He's keeping secrets and you know what that means?"

"Whoa, back up the truck. No Mabel, it doesn't mean that at all." He knew where her mind had gone. Mae's constant fear of abandonment was never far from her surface. "I am sure he has a reason?"

"Like what?"

"Well, I don't know, you will have to ask him. He's not going to do anything to hurt you or Poppy, this is George. The man who asked you to marry him every week for a year. Most men would give up after two rejections not keep going until he cracked a half century."

"Then why the big secret?"

"Maybe he's organising something for you? You know we do love a surprise. Remember your wedding?"

"I'm being stupid aren't I?"

"Well Mabel, perhaps a little irrational because you are this tired emotional beast right now."

"Gee thanks."

"Hey, you asked and if anyone is going to be honest it's us. Lola would tell you exactly the same thing, as would Bug. Pops would probably have a bit to say about it as well." Alfie tickled Poppy's toes and he loved how she curled her foot up and away from him. "He told me about your rant about Poppy being a milk sucking parasite yesterday."

"I'd had a bad night." Mae smiled a little sheepishly. Adam had listened to her and then just laughed. It was a ridiculous rant but very Ruzek-like. Mae was exhausted and emotional, Poppy was just constantly whinging and refusing to get off the breast and Mae snapped.

"And last night?"

"A little better. So I am over reacting?"

"No, just reacting. Just being Mae." He tapped her leg. "Talk to George, the guy adores you, he'd be devastated knowing you are upset."

"Maybe not."

"Hey, hey…" He made his sister look at him. "…talk to George." Poppy started to squirm a little and he focussed on her for a minute. "Anyway, I've gotta go, animals to feed, people to adore me. You be okay?" Alfie kissed Poppy's forehead and whispered to her to look after her Mom before he handed her back and kissed the top of Mae's head.

"Sure." Alfie knew that Mae wasn't okay and he was a little pissed at George, even though he didn't know what was going on or what George was doing. He was pretty sure that George wouldn't hurt Mae, he'd been so protective of her from the start. He adored both his girl's and hurting her Mae wouldn't end well for him, he knew this.

It was going to take all Alfie's willpower not to call George and demand to know what the fuck he was doing. If Mae didn't find out soon though he'd be down on him like a ton of bricks. Holding Pops back would be a feat and he was not sure if he would want to if George was doing something shady. Personally though he just couldn't see it.

As soon as George walked through the door Mae burst into tears, she'd been teetering all day and even when he sent her a message when Alexis told him Mae had been in she could barely hold herself together. "Hey? Don't cry Mae, please."

"Are you leaving us?"

"What? No, what makes you say that?" He was a little stunned. Alexis said she'd been in and said that Mae looked upset. He put it down to Poppy having another bad night, his own head wasn't in the right space either. He tried to call her but got no answer, he assumed she was either sleeping or it was on silent to not disturb Poppy.

"You are having secret meetings."

"Okay. Let's sit for a minute." It did nothing to calm Mae down, she was bordering on hysteria. "Mae, sit." He ordered her. "And breath."

"Don't tell me to fucking breath. I am breathing, I am here every fucking day breathing and taking care of your daughter, don't tell me to fucking breathe."

George couldn't bear to see Mae so upset and wanted to broach the subject a little more gently but he ended up just dropping the bombshell. "My Dad is back."

"What?"

"My Dad is back. I was contacted a couple of weeks ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." He looked a little helpless and confused. "I don't know Mae; I didn't want to upset you. I didn't want to meet him but was forced into it and then I wanted to know what he wanted, I had to know before I let him into my life again."

"Why would I be upset?"

"Because I know how desperate you are for your Dad to come back and he can't and I have this guy who didn't give a fuck about me for so long and I don't know if I want back in my life and that's so not fair."

"George, my Dad is dead."

"I know Mabel, I know."

"He's never coming back." He heard how painful those words were for her. "George, you could have talked to me. I freaked out today, my mind went there." He knew where there was. "Alfie might just kill you."

"Ha, I bet he would. I freaked out Mae, I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do and then you were having all these sleepless nights with Poppy and you were tired and I didn't want to make things worse." He looked at her, it shocked her a little at how anguished he looked. She had never seen it before. "That's not me, that's not me. You should know that." He sounded angry at her.

"Okay." She pinched the bridge of her nose, now was not the time to get into that. "Start from the start Baby."

George took a deep breath. "About a month ago I got an email from this random woman. She wanted a meeting with me, when I asked about what she just said it was personal. I wanted to fob it off but it nagged at me and I don't know why. So I went and met her. She's my half-sister, she is four years younger than me."

"What?" That didn't seem right. George was the oldest and Elijah was two years younger than him but the twins, Henry and Annabel were seven years younger than Eli. "But, that doesn't add up?"

"I know right? My Dad had this love child, or whatever the fuck you call it and I had no idea. Anyway, I met Elena and I agreed to meet her the following week once I kind of got my head around it. When she first told me who she I was I got up and walked out but I ended up agreeing to sit down with her again. The next week, he was there. I didn't know what to do." He buried his head in his hands. "I still don't."

"I wish I had known. This is what I am here for, Baby. You should have told me."

"I was worried about you, and Poppy and everything, like Mom and Henry and Annabel." He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. "I'm sorry Mae, I never meant to hurt you."

"Okay, George. It's fine." Mae didn't care about that right now. She was hurt that this huge thing was happening for her husband, the first really big thing for him and he didn't come to her for help. "Whatever, what now?"

"I met him today again. He wants to meet you."

"Me? Why?"

"He saw my ring; he knows I'm married. He asked if I had kids or more specifically he asked if he was a grandfather." That wasn't lost on George. He didn't talk about being a father, he was interested in knowing about any grandchildren and that sat uneasy with him.

"What did you say?"

"No, he wasn't a grandfather, but that I was a Dad." George had refused to tell him anything about his grandchild, he wouldn't even tell him if it was a boy or a girl or how old they were.

"Oh Baby." Mae grabbed his hands and held them tightly. Of all the times he had held her hands and kept her from tumbling over the edge it was her turn to hold onto him. "It's okay. We'll work it out."

"What do I do?"

"What does he want you to do?"

George sighed deeply. "He wants to see Henry and Annabel. He knows Eli is not in Chicago and he was pissed that I wouldn't tell him about Poppy."

"Huh?"

"I am not telling him about Poppy, he has no right to know about her. He doesn't deserve to meet her." He was getting angry. "Why should I let him see my daughter when he didn't care about me for so long."

Mae was struggling to take it all in. "What about this half-sister? What does she think about it?"

"Oh, Elena? She's forgiven him because she's a good Christian, he only contacted her recently as well. He's dying, he's got cancer so this is his MEA Culpa or he wants money or something. Something's not right Mae, I just know it. I don't want him in my life."

"Then he's not in our life." Mae let him rest his head on her shoulder. They sat quietly for a few minutes and listening to her husband cry was gut wrenching. George insisted on going to get Poppy when she woke; he needed to hold that sweet girl with all her innocence, her sweet smell and her warmth.

Mae sat and listened to them, trying to get her head around what he'd just told her. "Sweet little Poppy. Daddy loves you so much, I can't imagine not seeing you every day, I can't imagine not sitting with your beautiful Mom when we are old, holding her hand and seeing you be everything you want to be." He changed her diaper and Mae loved that Poppy was trying to talk to her Dad. She was what he needed right now.

Me still didn't quite understand why he'd kept it from her. They had a deeper connection than that. "Hi Darling." Mae held out her hands for Poppy who was ready for her Mom and some boob. "So…" George sat next to Mae and played with Poppy's foot while she feed. "What happens now?"

"I told him today that we are done. He's not welcome in my life; he's not welcome in my child's life." Mae did pick up that George refused to say the word Dad or Grandfather. "She has Scott and he is her grandfather; she has Pops and that's all she needs."

"Are you sure?"

George looked at Mae strangely. "What do you mean am I sure? I'm not like you Mae."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I have not spent my life waiting for my Dad to come back."

"Fuck you." She literally pulled Poppy off her breast and suddenly both his girls were pissed and Mae stormed upstairs.

"Mae, come back." He sighed and gave her a few minutes to cool down. It was a dick thing to say but it was also an overreaction on her part. He didn't blame Mae for wanting her parents back but their circumstances were worlds apart.

"Are you finished being a dick?" Mae eventually came back down and handed Poppy back to him. "Are you ready to talk?"

"I am always ready to talk to you."

"Except for the past three weeks."

"When you thought I was having an affair?"

"Okay, so you are not finished being a dick then. Good to know." She turned on her heel and disappeared back upstairs. Rather than follow her he stayed with Poppy, looking at the clock he realised she probably need a bath soon and to get ready for bed. It was his job at night to bath her and he always enjoyed it. Adam had told him it was the best thing he ever did, come home and bath his kids. It calmed his mind, gave him a chance to let go of the day and even if he had to go back to work after they were in bed he got a moment to just be a Dad.

Mae was in the shower when he went up and he did think of taking Poppy into her and getting her in the shower so he could talk to Mae but he was smart enough to realise Mae wouldn't appreciate being forced to talk.

He was surprised when Mae leant on the doorframe and watched him giving her a bath. "You are lucky I love you."

"I know."

"So?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you; I don't know what I was thinking. I think I always want to protect you, that's my default position, protect you first and now with Poppy I feel that even more." He was watching Poppy kick her legs and splash her arms around in the warm water. She loved her bath.

"You didn't need to protect me from this George. You don't need to protect me from your pain."

"No, I was protecting you from yours. I know you would love nothing more than to have your Dad here, and I know that can never happen. I remember when you were pregnant and you were angry at me for not wanting to tell him about becoming a grandfather and giving him a chance to be in her life. That's a hard thing to get my head around."

"Why?"

"I was scared that you'd want me to let him into Poppy's life."

He had noticed that Mae was starting to look a little more relaxed as she leant on the door. Initially her arms were folded tightly across her chest but now they were clasped loosely in front of her. "If you don't want your father in Poppy's life I would never make you. Why did you see him more than once?"

"I guess I didn't believe it, that he was there. I knew there was more to it. The first time he never said he was sick, just that he wanted to make amends."

"I wish I'd known George."

"I know, I'm sorry." He lifted Poppy out of the bath and Mae bought her towel over to wrap around her. "Can I just ask; did you think I was cheating on you?"

"Not really, but I was just freaking out and I'm tired and Poppy has been tough. I went to the zoo just to sit by the tree and Alfie caught me and I think I was just so confused and overwhelmed. He told me I was stupid."

"I guess I should be happy you were upset by the thought of it. Tells me that you care."

"Ha, you've pushed your luck today."

"Yep." She followed him through to Poppy's room and got her pyjamas out while George dried her off as he was chatting away to her and making her smile. He was a beautiful Dad; he was still learning but had embraced being a Dad.

"He told me that you didn't propose 52 times to throw it away after a couple of months."

"He's a smart man your Uncle Alfie." He tickled Poppy's stomach and smiled when she squirmed and cooed back at him. "Oh Poppy, you know how to make us happy but I am gonna need you to give your Mom a break and sleep tonight."

"If only it was that easy." Mae come and stood behind him and George appreciated the comforting hand on his back. Mae was an amazing woman, she had every reason to be pissed with him, he'd fucked it all up but here she was just being there for him.

George learnt his lesson, he talked to Mae, he told her when his father tried to contact him and nothing changed his mind. He didn't want anything to do with him and Mae supported him completely.

When all this started, just three weeks ago he never in a million years thought it would end up here.

In a hospital.

George's heart literally stopped beating. He looked at Gus's name on his phone, flashing brightly and the sound seemed louder than usual. It was like his phone was making sure he wasn't missing this call.

"Gus. What is it?"

"You need to come to Med, now."

Mae had just put Poppy to bed. They'd had a better night with her and she'd been happy today, but then again she always seemed to be happy when Pops was around. He refused to accept that his Poppy was anything but an angel. Mae had filled him in on George's Dad making a sudden reappearance and how George had decided that he didn't want him in Poppy's life.

Adam was okay with that; he couldn't understand that any man would willingly walk out of his own children's lives for so long and then come back and expect things to be okay.

Mae made them some lunch and was surprised when the doorbell rang. Lola or Iris and even Alfie all had a key, they didn't knock and she wasn't expecting them but they would often drop in on days they knew Pops was with her.

"Hi." She greeted the unexpected visitor. "Can I help you?"

"Is this where George Burrows lives?"

"Who is asking?" Mae had a pretty good idea who was asking, he had the same eyes as George, she had no idea about hair colour because his head was shaved. It made sense; George had told her that he had cancer so she assumed it was part of his treatment. His Dad's declaration that he was dying didn't sway George's opinion. She tried not to sound surprised. "Sorry George is at work."

"But he lives here?" He was obviously under the influence of something.

"George isn't home."

"But you are and I assume my grandchild is also here."

"George isn't home." She repeated a little louder. "You will need to leave." There is no way George would have told him where he lives or that he was welcome to come visit without talking to her. They'd made the decision together and George was still adamant that he was not welcome in their lives. Mae's heart was racing and she hoped that Pops had picked up on the increasing emphasis on George. He was still as smart as a whip and they'd just been talking about George's Dad so Mae was relying on him.

Making a move to close the door, Ryan, Georges' intoxicated Dad put his arm out to stop her from closing it. "I want to see my grandchild."

"Sorry, but no." Mae tried to shut the door and he shoved it so hard it knocked her off balance. "Get out."

Mae regained her footing and tried to force him back outside. Suddenly Adam was beside her. "You need to leave." He put himself in between Mae and Ryan. "Now."

"Says who? Who the fuck are you?"

"Mae has asked you to leave. I suggest you do before I call the cops."

"Mae, is that your name, Mae?" He sneered at her.

"Please leave." Mae wanted to get Adam out of the way. She didn't want him to get hurt and things seemed to be escalating rapidly, her heart was racing and she was starting to panic. Adam's cop past was kicking in though and he wasn't take a step back when his granddaughter was being threatened.

"Nope, not until I see my grandchild." He pushed Adam, causing him to stumble backwards and his fall was broken by the hall table. It sent everything, the vase, the photo frame with a picture of her parents and keys all crashing to the floor. The sound that came out of Adam terrified her.

In a split second he was in the house and Mae scrambled after him. She was glad Poppy was actually upstairs sleeping. Some days she had her downstairs where she was closer. "Get the fuck out of my house." She grabbed his arm and didn't see him swing the other one until it collected her on the side of her face. Barely keeping her balance Mae swung her own fist and smashed into his nose. It only riled him up and Adam was screaming at Mae to stop. He didn't want her to get hurt but he knew why Mae was fighting and he felt helpless as he struggled to get up off the floor.

Mae, however was wild and there was no stopping her. She'd always had that streak in her and would defend herself and the people she loved by whatever means necessary. After all Adam had been called to the school because Mae had hit a boy who was picking on her brother, her own mother had done the same thing many years before that. They were fierce little things. It was the spirit of her mother that was coming to the fore now.

He pushed Mae hard up against the wall and she knew she had to keep fighting. Kicking out at him she at least made him stop when she got him in the shin as he gasped and when he hit Mae again she managed to kick him in the groin, bringing him to his knees. It was only temporary and she had a quick moment to glance at Adam who was struggling to his feet. "Stay there Pops."

What Mae hadn't realised was that Adam did hear her change in tone when she first opened the door and pressed his medic alarm. It alerted Gus and Lola if he was in trouble and he'd bitched and whined about getting it but was now grateful that they had ignored him as Gus arrived. Ryan had recovered enough and was again going for Mae who had positioned herself between him and stairs where he had figured the baby was.

When Gus got the alert he called Adam who didn't answer, the GPS showed him he was at Mae's. He knew he was spending the day there so he called Mae who didn't answer either. He called Adam again and got nothing so his gut told him to go.

He remembered his Dad telling him the story about when his Mom was trapped in a warehouse and kept ignoring his calls all day. His gut told him something was wrong so he told Voight, his boss at the time that he wanted to go check it out. They were glad they did, shit was going down and Kim had been shot at, beaten and was fighting to keep her partner alive.

He had that feeling now.

"Dad." He saw the upturned table as he came through the door, he saw Adam struggling to get up and he saw Mae fighting with someone then tumble down the stairs and crash heavily on the ground. Mae had lunged at him as he got past her on the stairs.

Whoever the hell this guy was Gus didn't care, he flew across the room and took the stairs two at a time and managed to tap his ankle and trip him up as he got to the landing and it gave Gus a second to catch up. Gus was on him in a flash as he scrambled to his feet grabbed him around the neck with his arm. He tried to break away from Gus and he kicked his legs out and knocked Gus off balance briefly.

As he paused momentarily trying to figure out where to go it was enough for Gus to regain his composure and he slammed him into the wall before spinning him around, kicking out the back of his knees so he crumpled to the floor. He had his hands twisted behind his back and a knee firmly planted in his lower back. It didn't mean he wasn't thrashing around but Gus had years of teaching recruits how to handle belligerent suspects on his side. "What the fuck is going on?" He glanced at Adam who was on his knees beside Mae at the bottom of the stairs. Mae wasn't moving. "Who the fuck is this?"

"George's Dad." Adam hissed; he took a deep breath ignoring the pain in his wrist. He suspected it was broken but he didn't care. "Mae, Mabel, wake up. Please Mae." He begged his granddaughter.

"Call 911. Dad, call 911." Gus yelled at his Dad, he couldn't let go of George's Dad and Adam scrambled to his feet and found his phone. His cop brain kicked in and he also knew Gus's badge number. He'd known that number since the day he graduated. '_offender is restrained on site. You need to hurry. Send a bus too.'_

It didn't stop Ryan from screaming blue murder as Gus increased his pressure. "I suggest you shut the fuck up."

"You can't do this. Get the fuck off me."

"Oh buddy, I can. CPD sunshine, you picked the wrong fucking people."

Adam was back on his knees beside Mae, she was bleeding from a cut to the head and hadn't moved. "Mae, please wake up Monkey, please." He begged tearfully. "Gus she's not waking up."

"Is she breathing?"

He leant down, still ignoring the pain in his arm and listened carefully. He rested one hand on her back and felt it moving. "Yes."

"Okay Dad, keep watching her. Talk to her." Gus told him and his offender started to yell and he leant down close to him and gave him fair warning. "If anything happens to her, I'll fucking bury you. So shut the fuck up, or I will shut you up."

Adam leant into Mae and whispered in her ear "Your baby is safe sweetheart. You kept her safe but I need you to open your eyes sweetheart. Please wake up Mae." Adam looked at Gus. "Where is that fucking ambulance, where are CPD?"

"They are coming Dad." They could all hear the sirens close by and within five minutes of Adam's call he had two cop cars in the driveway and four uniforms charging through the door. Gus asked for some cuffs which were quickly produced and Ryan was handcuffed, he tightened them as far as they could go and when Ryan screamed he loosened them and helped two of the officers haul him up off the floor and drag him down the stairs. The other two rushed to Adam and Mae. They tried to get Adam up off the floor but he refused to leave Mae. "Don't touch me." He flung his one good arm to push them away. "Mae, please wake up." Adam was getting desperate now.

"Get him the fuck out of here." Gus growled at the two uniforms who were dealing with Ryan.

Mae was starting to move much to Adam's relief. "Don't move Mae. Poppy's safe sweetheart. Just stay there."

Gus knelt beside his niece. "Mae, Poppy's safe, Ryan is gone, the Ambulance is coming." Mae just blinked slowly. "Are you in pain? Where do you hurt?"

"Poppy." Mae could barely speak.

Gus bounded up the stairs and picked up the sleeping infant, fortunately she hadn't stirred through all the commotion. They needed to get both Mae and Pops to the hospital so he spotted her bag, chucked a few diapers in, grabbed her blanket, pacifier and her Quokka.

Bringing her back down Mae was a little more awake and Gus figured she needed to see Poppy and he held her close to her mother. "She's fine Mae. She's safe with me. Where's the Ambulance?" He asked the uniform. "Check for me."

The two uniforms got Adam up off the floor. "I'm fine." Adam growled at them and Gus noticed he was now clutching his arm. "My granddaughter needs help."

"The Ambulance will be here soon."

Mae's eyes closed again and she struggled to open them when Gus asked her too. "Where's that fucking Bus?" Adam started to panic. "She needs helps. Help her."

"Dad, it's coming. You're going to hospital too."

"Angus…don't fucking start with me. Look at her." His voice was shaking. While it had been happening his cop brain fired up but now the shock was setting in and he started to shake.

"Dad. Just stop. You are both going, I don't bloody care how much you yell at me."

Adam tried to move to get back down on the floor next to Mae and he cried out in pain and reached for his wrist. It was also starting to swell and the pain was getting worse now that the adrenaline was wearing off.

"Bloody hell Dad." Gus ordered the uniform to get the first aid kit from the car and make a sling for Adam when he saw his slightly deformed wrist. "Don't move it. Why are you moving?"

"I had to help Mabel." He cried at his son. "I had to help her."

Finally the Ambulance arrived and Mae was barely awake, they collared her, popped on some oxygen and loaded into the Ambulance. Adam, who refused any pain relief was allowed to go with her while Gus followed in Mae's car with Poppy and he promised to call George on the way.

"Med?" George barely got the world out. "Poppy?"

"Poppy's fine, I've got her with me. George…" Gus took a quick breath. "Mae's been assaulted. She's awake and talking but it was pretty brutal." Gus didn't want to sugar coat things; he didn't want George turning up thinking she just had a bump. Mae was seriously hurt. George was already out of his office and heading for his car at a flat sprint.

"What? What do you mean assaulted?" This was surely a joke? "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Both Mae and Adam were assaulted at home… by your father."

George stopped dead in his tracks momentarily. "What the fuck? Gus what the fuck are you talking about?"

"We've arrested your father, Ryan is it? He's in custody. He forced his way into your house, demanding to see his grandchild and pushed Adam over and then got into a fight with Mae." Gus spoke slowly. "He pushed Mae down the stairs and knocked her out, she's awake now. I've talked to her; she's seen Poppy and she's okay."

"Oh god."

"He was under the influence. We will do a drug and alcohol test."

Gus could hear George swearing at parking attendant to let him through. "Hey George, Mae's awake, she's on her way to Med. I'm right behind her, I've got Poppy and she's safe, he never got anywhere near her. Mae made sure of it. I'll call Lola and she can meet us in the ER and check Poppy out for your own piece of mind. Just make sure you get here in one piece, that's what you can do for Mae right now."

"Okay."

Lola had been frantically calling everyone ever since Adam's alert went off. She was in a flat panic when Gus finally talked to her. "Gus, where's Adam?" she barked at him. "I've tried calling him, and Mae, where the fuck is Mae?"

"Lola, calm down. They are on their way to Med."

"What? Why? Is it Pops?"

"Lola, it's Mae. She's been assaulted. Someone broke into the house and attacked her and Pops."

"Angus…" It was barely a whisper.

"George's Dad has been arrested."

"Scott?"

"No, his actual father, he's back apparently, I don't know much else. Pops is okay, probably broken his wrist but Mae was knocked out. I've got Poppy with me, she's fine. George is on his way. We are about two minutes out; can you get down to meet me. I promised George you'd check out Poppy too."

George saw Lola as soon as he arrived, she was out in the hallway with Poppy and he rushed towards her. She had met the Ambulance and seen Mae and Adam as they were unloaded. Once Gus arrived she took Poppy to check her out even though they knew he got nowhere near her. "She's okay." Lola told him "She's okay." George took her briefly from Lola and hugged his daughter.

"Where's Mae? Is Adam okay?"

George was shaking and he was holding her tightly and Poppy cried a little so he handed her back to her Aunt. "Mae's just getting a CT scan and X-ray. She's awake, she knows what's going on, she's asking for you and she's seen Poppy. They are checking for broken bones or bleeds."

"Where? What's broken?"

"They are checking her nose, cheekbone and jaw and ribs. Then they need to stitch her up. She's split above the eye. I've called the Plastic Consultant and he's going to come down and do it for me." Lola rested her hand on George's arm.

"Oh god…." He just gaped at her; it was like he'd been hit with a hammer. "Lola?"

"George, it's pretty bad. She's been badly hurt but she's stable and she's going to be okay." He just nodded blankly.

"And Adam?"

"Just through there with Gus." Lola pointed him in the direction of Adam's cubicle. "He's probably got a broken wrist but he's mainly shaken and bruised. They will keep him in just to keep an eye on him. He's not happy."

George rubbed his hands nervously on his thighs and then reached for Poppy's little hand. "Is she okay with you?"

"She's fine."

Stepping into Adam's cubicle he was overcome when Adam started crying. "I tried to help her George; I couldn't do anything. I'm too old and useless." George kissed Adam's forehead and held his good hand. He loved this old guy and he knew how hard he would have tried to protect Mae and Poppy.

"I am so glad you were there to help her Pops."

"I didn't help. I was useless."

Adam was blaming himself, which was ridiculous. He was a 92 year old man. "You weren't useless Dad, you alerted me, that was smart." Gus reminded him.

"I couldn't help Mae."

Gus assured him that what he did was smart and if he hadn't god knows what would have happened. Gus had also told him he remembered his story about trusting his gut when MiMi was trapped and that's what he did, he trusted his gut and that's why he came. It was all Adam.

George pulled up the chair beside his bed. He held Adam's hand while he told him what happened. "I don't understand George. I didn't even know he was around."

"He turned up a couple of weeks ago, and Mae and I decided that we didn't want him in our lives. He didn't take it well but I never expected this. I'm sorry. If I'd known I never would have seen him the first time. I never told him where I lived, I never told him about Mae or about Poppy."

"He kept screaming at Mae about the baby, he doesn't even know her name."

"I refused to tell him. He knew I was a Dad but he wasn't a grandfather. He's not my Dad, Scott's my Dad." George snapped. "Scott is her grandfather."

"He was high or drunk, he just kept going for Mae. She fought so hard George; she really did. She tried really hard George, she tried."

"I know she did." George tried to calm Adam down. He was so upset he was shaking. "I've seen Lola, Poppy's okay."

"He didn't see her. Mae made sure of it. She fought George, she fought so hard, he wasn't touching her baby." Adam's voice was trembling. "Like her mother, she's fighter."

Lola stuck her head in and told him that Mae was back. Adam insisted George go see her and then started on Gus to take him to see Mae. Lola bought Poppy in for Adam to cuddle hoping that might calm him down for a bit.

George faltered at the doorway when he saw her. Her face was unrecognisable. She was bloodied and swollen and he gasped. Mae did try and open her eyes. "Oh god Mae, I'm so sorry." He propelled himself forward as the tears spilled down Mae's cheeks. Grabbing her hand he kissed her forehead softly. "Forgive me."

"George."

"I'm here Monkey."

"Poppy?"

"Poppy's with Lola, she's okay, I've seen her."

Mae was a bit all over the shop, she could barely speak or open her eyes, one eye was completely closed over anyway. "Pops?"

George was holding her hand and using his other one to stroke her leg. He wanted to touch her face but it looked so sore and bloodied and swollen he was scared he'd hurt her. "Pops is okay, he's worried about you. He's just a bit shaken and bruised and he's probably broken his arm but he's okay, he just kept telling me how amazing you were. Gus is with him and Lola is letting him cuddle Poppy right now." George just kept talking, he didn't know what else to do. Mae was just lying there, eyes closed and barely moving. He was panicking.

"Oh God."

He lifted her hand and kissed it. "Mae, he's okay. He's upset and thinks that he didn't help you, but he saved you. Gus told me what he did. I'm glad he was there with you, although I hate that he got hurt. I'm glad you weren't home alone."

He was worried about Mae, she'd been here before, she'd been abused by someone she loved. Sure, this was different but that abuse affected her deeply and it wasn't that long ago. "I love you so much Mae, so much. You and Poppy are my whole world, my life, my family. I never wanted to hurt you or see you hurt again. I'm sorry."

"Stop." Mae squeezed his hand.

"I'm so proud of you."

Mae had drifted off again, soothed by George's calming presence and gentle stroke of his hand on hers. She was still out of it when the Doctor came in. "Well she's had a rough day?"

"Yep."

"Well obviously you don't get in between and Mom and her baby." He chuckled. "I just met your little one outside. Dr Hollister is proudly showing her off. " He took stock of George's steely stare and realised he wasn't in the mood for small talk and could do without the cheery bedside manner. "Anyway, your wife's x-rays are all clear so that's good news, no broken bones and the Head CT was also clear, however Mae will need to stay overnight at a minimum, her concussion is severe and she needs observation for the next twenty-four hours at least. From what her Uncle told me she was out of it for a few minutes."

"What about our baby? She's still nursing her."

"She can stay, although I am not sure she will be up to feeding, we can get a Lactation Consultant down from maternity and they may be able to set Mae up to pump. Has she done that before?" It was the least of the Doctor's worry but George made it clear that Mae wouldn't want to stay if she couldn't feed Poppy. "Someone will need to feed her though. Mae won't be able to care for her baby tonight."

"I'll stay." George was adamant, he wasn't leaving Mae and he knew she wouldn't stay without Poppy.

He agreed to see if George could stay. George didn't care what they said, he'd talk to Lola and demand she sort something out.

George didn't see Gus wheeling Adam in. "Mabel, oh my god Mabel, is she okay?"

"She's okay Pops, she's sleeping." George let Adam sit beside her. He rested his hand on his shoulder. "Look after her for a minute." He wanted to talk to Gus and find out what the fuck was going on. Lola followed them out of the room and handed Poppy to her Dad and he was happy to cuddle her, she was starting to get a little fractious and was probably getting hungry. He had no idea what time she'd last been fed. "Can you get Iris to pick up some stuff for Mae and milk for Poppy? We have to stay overnight."

"Are you going to stay?"

"Yeah, they don't want Mae left alone with Poppy but they don't think she'll be able to feed her, he said something about pumping milk, someone from maternity?" Lola nodded. She'd sort it out.

"I just want some milk in case she struggles. There is some at home. I know Mae won't want her to have anything else. What else will I need? Maybe her pram for her to sleep in?" he was racking his brain until Lola put his hand on his arm.

"I've got this George. This is what we do. We've got you." Lola had already talked to Iris. "Iris will be here soon with some milk. You take care of Mae and we'll make sure the rest is taken care of."

He nodded. "So, Gus, what's going on?"

"He's in holding. He's not having much fun. I'm going to head down once Dad is settled and Alfie gets here." He'd called Alfie and he was on his way. He was pissed and that was going to be hard to control.

"Fucking let him rot."

"Hey…" Gus made George look at him. "Hey… I've got this. Okay?"

This was nightmare. Pure and simple.


	27. All She Needs

_**My apologies in advance for the language...it felt necessary.**_

George left briefly once Mae was settled in her room. Adam wanted to share a room with Mae but the best they could do was a room next door and Adam was currently giving someone grief because he was supposed to have his arm in back slab and nobody was doing anything. He was being made to wait in his room when he wanted to sit with Mae. Alfie wasn't particularly enjoying trying to keep Adam in his lane.

Mae was awake on and off and they did manage to get her to pump some milk and when Iris and Alfie came in George went to see his Mom. He hadn't told anyone that Ryan was back, now he was glad he didn't. He felt he had to tell his mother face to face though.

Leaving Mae was tough, Iris convinced him that while she was sleeping she wouldn't take her eyes off her and she would take care of Poppy. She promised to call him if Mae woke, or asked for him or if anything changed. Iris could see that George was agitated and needed to get this off his chest and mind so he could get back to focussing on Mae.

Alfie was having a much tougher time of things next door with his angry, belligerent grandfather.

Olivia was surprised to see him. "Is everything okay?" she noticed George's uneasy demeanour; he was on edge. "Are Mae and Poppy okay?"

"Poppy's fine." He was a little short. "Come sit down. Is Scott here?" He wanted to do this all at once.

"He's out back." George indicated that she should get Scott and Olivia was starting to freak out. "What's wrong George? Where is Mae?"

"Mae's in hospital. She was assaulted at home today, both her and Adam."

"What?" Scott reached for Olivia's hand.

"A couple of weeks ago I got a phone call from a woman called Elena. I met her and she's my half-sister."

"I don't understand George." Olivia was confused.

"Elena is my half-sister; she is four years younger than me." He knew he was rambling and dragging this out. "Anyway I walked out of that meeting, I agreed to meet her again a week later and Ryan was with her."

Olivia shook her head. "You saw your father? What does this have to do with Mae in hospital." The sense of dread that washed over her made it hard to breathe and she squeezed Scott's hand even tighter.

"He turned up at home today and forced his way in and assaulted Adam, broke his wrist and assaulted Mae. I refused to tell him about Poppy, or Mae for that matter and he found out where I lived and he was drunk or high or something."

"Oh god." Olivia just sat and stared.

"There was no way Mae was going to let him anywhere near Poppy. Adam was smart and he managed to alert Gus who arrived and arrested him. He's still in custody."

"What the fuck George?" Scott exploded. "Why the fuck are we just hearing about this now?"

"I don't know. I tried to manage it. He wanted to see Henry and Annabel as well and I said no."

His mother just sat, saying nothing while Scott tried to understand what the fuck George was talking about, it was all over the place. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to protect everyone and all I have done is put Mae and Poppy at risk and now Adam is hurt too."

"What about Mae? How bad is she?"

"It's…" He just stared into space. "…she's got a fairly severe concussion and a few stitches, she's pretty bruised and sore but no broken bones. She's tough." He didn't need other people to panic. "She's with Iris and Lola right now and they have Poppy with them. Alfie's with Adam and Gus is down at the district sorting that piece of shit out."

"What can we do?"

"I don't know." He shook his head. Decision making wasn't high on his list of priorities right now. "I don't know what the house looks like. I know Iris went and picked some things up, I didn't ask, I was just worried about Mae and Adam. Can you go check the house?"

Scott was more than happy to sort that out for him. Olivia was starting to have questions as the shock started to subside. "Who is this Elena woman?"

"Ryan's daughter. She's only known him for a few months, but she's a bible basher so has forgiven him. She has tried to preach forgiveness to me. Apparently he has cancer and is dying and wants to repent or some bullshit. I don't fucking care. He's not my Dad, I don't want him in my life, I don't want him in Poppy's life. She has a grandfather, she has you…" He nodded at Scott. "…that's all she needs."

"I don't understand any of this George? Where did this woman come from?"

"How the fuck do I know." He snapped at his mother and then apologised immediately. "Look I want to get back to the hospital. I just wanted to let you know. That's all I've got right now, he's in custody, Gus is making sure he stays there for now. I don't know if you want to tell Henry and Annabel, that's up to you. I'm just going to focus on Mae and Poppy right now, that's all I can do."

"I'll come with you."

"Thanks Mom, but not right now. Mae's just not up to it, she's asleep most of the time. Can you just give us some time? Once I know more I will…" he drifted off and just sighed. He couldn't do this anymore, he needed to get back to Mae.

"What about Poppy?"

"She's staying with me, with Mae." He would resist any suggestion that Mae be separated from Poppy right now. Lola and Iris had already tried. "She needs to feed her."

"And Adam?"

"Gus, Rhiannon and everyone else is taking care of him. He's close by Mae; he wants to be near her. I just really hope he's going to be okay. It will kill Mae if anything happens to Adam." Any injury to someone his age was a big thing, he knew Adam had been knocked off his feet, they did worry about internal bleeding but so far it was just the arm that was causing concern right now.

He promised to let his Mom know how Mae was doing and if he needed anything for Poppy. They would go back to their house and make sure it was cleaned up. The Police had finished with the photos they needed; Gus had left them at the house when they headed to the hospital.

George wasn't surprised to see Adam sitting beside Mae's bed when he got back. Iris was outside the room with Poppy and she smiled when she heard her Dad's voice. "Hi Baby Girl." He took her from Iris's arms and snuggled into her neck. "It's nice to see your pretty face."

"How did it go?"

"Like a poke in the eye with a blunt stick." George liked that Poppy was resting her head on his shoulder. "I'd say shocked, bit like us really. How long has Adam been in there?"

"Half hour, he insisted on sitting with her even though she's asleep. I've just fed Poppy a little, Lola's coming down to help her pump again soon, she's better at it than me, I don't know what I am doing. Mae hates it though." Iris's voice wobbled a little. "She got really upset when Poppy was fussing. I had to take her out."

"Thanks Bug."

"Gus will be back soon, he's still at the District, he called a little while ago to check on them."

"Okay." He nodded and Iris noticed the tears in his eyes. "This is not your fault George, no-one blames you. You had no idea this would happen."

"I know." And he did know it. Everyone kept telling him the same thing, Mae, Adam, Gus, Alfie, Lola…everyone. It didn't make him feel any better though. "I'm trying."

Adam didn't take kindly to being taken back to his room but Mae was asleep and George was back. "Thanks for looking after my girl."

"That's my job."

"You're bloody good at it too, better than me obviously."

"Hey George." Adam stopped him. "Team effort."

George sat in the chair vacated by Adam, Poppy was lying quietly on his chest and it was having the desired effect. For just a few moments she was calming him but every time he looked at Mae his heart broke. It wasn't his fault, his rational brain told him that but his rational brain wasn't as loud as his irrational one.

"Hi." Mae spoke suddenly.

"You okay?"

"Yep. I have a headache."

"I bet you do." He bought Poppy over and lay her down next to Mae so she could cuddle her while she was settled.

"You told your Mom?"

"Yep, I lobbed a grenade into her house and then left." Mae held Poppy's hand and ran her thumb back and forth and George watched her. "She's freaking out. More questions than answers I guess."

George saw the tear tickle down her cheek and he struggled to hide his own. "Hey Baby, we are going to be okay. Look at her, she's safe. That's our job, to protect our little girl and that's what happened today."

"I know."

"Maybe if I told him about Poppy he wouldn't have done this."

"No George, It's not your fault." He knew that but she didn't see what he did.

"You got hurt though Mae, look at you."

"Ugly?"

"Not great, the most beautiful battered woman I've seen." He tried to make a joke but it fell flat for both of them. "Adam got hurt, and I can't stand that." George wiped away a tear. "And you."

"I'm okay."

"Why are you so calm about this?"

Mae's response was simple. "Because Poppy is safe."

Lola was surprised when she arrived at the hospital the next morning before her shift that Mae was alone in her room. She was sleeping but she thought George wouldn't have left her side. Quickly she asked the nursing staff about both Mae and Adam's night. "Where's George?"

"Poppy was crying so he took her for a walk."

She was happy to hear both of them had a pretty settled night. The only time Adam had called them was when he heard his great granddaughter crying. Poppy was just a little annoyed that George was changing her diaper instead of letting her fill her belly and then was pissed she had to have a bottle and it had woken up half the ward.

Lola sat and waited for Mae to wake up. "You look as good as I feel." Mae was surprised to see her sister beside her bed.

"Why, morning sickness?"

"All day sickness more like it."

"About time."

Lola chuckled. "Yeah yeah. Riley is blaming you, just so you know. I got clucky when you had Poppy and made him knock me up."

"Ha, I'm sure he hated that." Mae tried to sit up a little and Lola adjusted her pillows and having laid down all night she felt woozy and Lola noticed her taking so deep slow breaths. "Congratulations. It's great news."

"He was very diligent as you can imagine." Lola perched on the side of the bed. "We are about seven weeks so no big announcement yet. We haven't even told Sam; the boy is a disaster. He can't remember his shoes, but bet your last dollar he'd remember that."

"Like father like son?"

"Exactly."

Mae asked Lola to help her up out of bed to use the bathroom. George had been helping her all night, at least to the door after the first time she told him to knick off and leave her pee in peace. Not only was Mae battered and bruised on her face, she also had bruised ribs and a massive bruise on her thigh when she fell down the stairs. It was so much worse, physically than her previous assault but Lola had the feeling that this one would be easy for Mae to rationalise and put behind her. She also had George this time and he wouldn't let her fall.

"How's George?"

"Well he blames himself and he seems so angry still."

"Of course he is, you got hurt, that's going to hurt for a while."

"He slept in that chair all night, he is up and down to Poppy, he's in checking on Adam. Can you get him to stop?"

"Ha, no."

"Thanks." She leant on Lola as she helped her back to the bed. "I need to get out of here."

"All in good time dear sister, all in good time." Lola straightened her sheets, plumped up her pillows and checked to make sure she had enough water to drink. She doubted Mae would be going home today. As soon as she got back into bed Mae closed her eyes and Lola couldn't ignore how much she was struggling.

Lola helped her express off some more milk. Mae wasn't exactly loving the whole process and George; god love him didn't have a deft hand. Lola was much gentler and Mae just closed her eyes and let Lola take care of it.

"I miss my baby."

Lola stroked her hair gently. "I know Mae, maybe today you can feed her again." She had already organised the LC to come back down and check on Mae and see how Poppy was feeding lying down. For the next couple of days it might be easier for her and as long as she knew that Poppy was getting enough it was one less thing for her to worry about. Stress didn't help with milk supply and they were watching them both closely.

Gus had called Alfie and asked him to meet him at the hospital. "What's up? Is it Pops? Mae?"

"No, they are both doing okay, they had good nights. I need to talk to George and I want someone with me."

"You can take George, he's a lover not a fighter." Alfie commented. "Apparently it's Mae who's got the mad fighting skills."

"Well I know that, I remember what she did to those kids at school…" Gus forced himself to laugh, not that they had anything to laugh about. "…no, I just think George might need some support. Mae's not up to it yet. I've also called Scott he's meeting us there."

"What is it Angus?" George wanted to turn on his heel when he saw all three of them. Poppy was finally drifting off in her pram and he was tired. He'd had a rough night. Poppy was up and down, she seemed to hate sleeping in her pram and probably picked up on the anxiousness of her parents. Mae barely fed her and Poppy didn't mind the odd bottle but she'd fought him a few times so far. He'd walked her up and down the halls all night, the nurses took her for a while when they weren't busy so George could get a little bit of sleep but his mind was whirring anyway and it didn't make much difference.

"Sit down Bud."

"Just tell me."

"Okay, I know your Dad hasn't been around for a long time. I don't know why he left but I do know that during some of that time away was in prison."

He sat down heavily. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I wish I was."

"For what?"

"Vehicular homicide. He was drunk and hit a mother pushing a pram. The baby was killed. He was eight months old." Gus just laid it all out. "He got seven years; he was paroled a year ago. Prior to that he had a few drunk and disorderly, an assault charge, DUI's and some minor domestic disturbances. He also had some court ordered rehab. Your Dad is a drunk."

"He's not my Dad."

Gus got it; he wouldn't refer to Ryan as George's Dad again and he didn't blame him for that, he wouldn't want to think that someone he shared DNA was capable of that. "Ryan Denholm is a drunk. I don't think anything you did or didn't do could have changed this outcome." George had changed his name to Burrows, his mother's maiden name after his Dad left. Olivia had changed back to her maiden name and all the kids did as well. They were still Burrows while Olivia was now going by Scott's surname of Lowery.

"No, you don't think if I walked out of that café before I even spoke to him might have been different?"

"I don't, no." Gus shook his head. "I talked to his parole officer. He had warned him to get his life together before he went looking for his kids but he was determined to see you all before he died. He is actually sick, he was liver cancer, no doubt caused by his drinking so that part of his story is true, if you are wondering."

"He can rot in fucking hell for all I care."

"Well he's going back to jail anyway. He'll be transferred back to county today, he breached his parole, he's been charged with two counts of assault, trespass, breach of bail, unlawful entry, resist arrest and I tried to add attempted kidnapping but the judge thought that was a stretch." Gus shrugged. "I tried."

George sat back in his chair like the wind had been knocked out of him. "It makes me sick thinking that I am related to that piece of shit."

"I can imagine." Gus leant across the table and grabbed George's hand. "Hey, you don't need him. You've got Scott here; you've got your Mom and your brothers and sisters and you have our crazy fucking mob. More than that, you've got Monkey and Poppy." Gus pointed to the pram. "That's all you need. You have it all."

"Yeah."

"Up until three weeks ago George you knew you had it all, this doesn't change a damn thing."

"Doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't, all it means now is that you don't have that little voice in the back of your head thinking _'what if' _There is no questions anymore."

Suddenly George pushed back his chair, it scrapped along the floor. "I need to get out of here. Tell Mae I'll be back…"

Alfie told him to leave Poppy with them and Scott followed George out, he didn't want him left alone right now. They walked in silence for a few minutes until they were well and truly outside the hospital. "He killed a baby…"

"Yep." Scott was still reeling himself.

"He could have killed my baby?"

Scott reached for his arm. "Hey…" he made him stop and made George face him. "Don't go there George. Poppy is safe, she will never know him and I want you to forget him from today onwards okay?"

"But…"

"No, you've got right now to get it out and when you go back in there…" he pointed back towards the hospital "..it's done. Your wife and child need you. So get it out, and get back and help Mae through this."

"How do I tell her?"

"Start with 'I love you and Poppy more than anything' and go from there." George never felt the love of a father's arms like he did that day. Scott held him as he sobbed his heart out. He'd been in George's life for such a long time but he came into his life when he was old enough to not really need a Dad in that sense. George appreciated that he had been there for him and also for his brothers and sister. Right now George needed a Dad and that was Scott.

George had never called him anything other than Scott. "Thanks Dad." He added quietly. Scott didn't say anything but it was a moment neither of them would forget.

"Where's George?" Adam was in the chair beside Mae when Alfie and Gus came in with Poppy. "Is he okay?"

"He is, he's just gone to get some fresh air with Scott."

"I know you aren't telling me something. Why is Scott here? You called him?" Mae rarely let anything get past her, even in her muddle state she knew they were keeping something from her.

Alfie just scoffed and picked up Poppy, who was still sleeping and lay her down with Mae. "Cuddle Poppy, she's had enough of men for the moment."

"Bullshit Alfred, Gus knows something and seeing as I am the one who is lying in hospital I think I deserve to know what's going on."

"Yep, you do but George will be back in a moment." Mae was unimpressed and Adam didn't like being told to wait either.

When George came back he stood next to Mae while Gus told them about his father's charges. George couldn't do it; he was still trying to comprehend that all this wasn't some sick dream. "He is being transferred to County and will be held there until he can be extradited back to Florida."

"For what?" Adam knew damn well what being extradited meant.

"He was on parole."

"For what?"

"Vehicular Homicide."

"He was a drunk driver wasn't he?" Adam was all over it. George just held Mae's shaking hand.

"Yes." Gus noticed George's little shake of his head. He realised that he didn't want the rest to come out just yet, not in front of everyone. George wanted to be the one to tell Mae about the rest. Adam saw it though and looked quickly at George and he got it too. Gus would tell him later; he'd make sure of it.

Mae just closed her eyes and tightened her hold on Poppy. "I'm tired." Mae whispered to him when George asked if she was okay.

Gus ushered everyone out. He took Adam back to his room and together with Alfie they told him everything they knew. He was pissed and devastated for George.

"So?" Mae barely waited until the room was empty.

"Okay…" he took a deep breath. "…Vehicular Homicide, drunk, driving ran down a mother and her eight month old son…" he let that sink in for a moment. "…the baby died. He had spent seven years in jail, he's been out a year. He's got a rap sheet, DUI, assault, D&D. He's a fucking asshole. He does actually have cancer, liver cancer probably caused by his drinking and he can rot in hell."

"Oh god."

"He's dead as far as I am concerned." He looked at Mae. "I love you Mae, I love Poppy and I promise you I will never turn into that man. I have a Dad; his name is Scott and that's who I will be for you."

"I know George, we are good."

"I know Baby."

He couldn't look at Mae so he focussed on Poppy. "How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"No baby, how are you. It's me you are talking to now. Just me."

"Monkey, I don't know, I honestly don't know. It's all too much to take in just yet. I've got to focus on you and Poppy and Adam because that's more important. You mean more to me than him, you always have."

"Okay. Please don't shut me out. Just because I look like shit doesn't mean I can't help you."

"You help me every day just by loving me."

"Good."

George just nodded. "Good." He put his head down on Mae's leg, rested one hand on Poppy and closed his eyes. She ran her hands through his hair and it calmed him. It was the best she could do right now and everything he needed.

They were disappointed when the Doctor decided that Mae needed to spend another night, she was still showing signs of concussion and they wanted to make sure she was well enough to take care of Poppy. George argued that they had plenty of help at home and Mae wouldn't have to lift a finger but he strongly suggested she stay.

Lola sided with Mae's Doctor which annoyed her sister. Adam was pissed too because he wasn't allowed home either. '_because apparently I am too fucking old. I show them fucking old.' _He was muttering to himself and Gus smiled apologetically at the Doctor.

Mae watched George settle Poppy into her pram while she was asleep, she'd had a really good long feed which Mae was grateful for. "Do you want to hear some good news?"

They were finally alone. Adam was resting back in his room, which annoyed him being told that he had to leave Mae. Gus had gone home to get some clothes for him, he was bitching about the hospital pyjamas. Actually he was bitching about everything. Iris and Alfie had been in and gone to work and Lola was working but stuck her head in when she could.

"Always."

"Lola's pregnant."

"Really? That's no surprise is it? Riley said she was clucky." He eventually smiled. "That's great news though hey?" Mae was just happy to see him smile.

George's phone was starting to piss him off. It just keep ringing. "Answer it." Mae growled suddenly.

"It's Mom. She wants to come in."

"It's okay George, I don't mind." Mae forced a painful smile. "As long as she doesn't freak out at my elephant man look."

Mae's face was still swollen and bloodied. The bruising had bled under her skin badly, he left eye was swollen shut and her mouth and jaw were just as bad. She looked pretty brutal. "Are you sure you are up to it? She's going to cry?"

"Well she shouldn't feel left out. Everyone else has."

What Mae loved about Olivia is she got it, she got Mae and made and effort to understand her and her past. "Oh my god Mae."

"Not my best look hey?"

"My poor beautiful Mae." Olivia couldn't believe it. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry he did this to you. I wish I'd never met him."

"Except then we wouldn't have George."

"Of course. I just hate this."

"It hasn't been the best few days but I'm okay and Poppy is safe and that's all that matters."

"And your Pops?"

"Well he's grumpy and carrying on like a pork chop so he'll be fine." Mae reassured her mother-in-law. Adam liked Olivia and Scott, they'd been a little shocked when they first met the family but had gotten used to them and their insanity and Adam often told Olivia how good George was for his Mae. "I am sure he'll be in here soon. He's just having a rest."

"You know, he never really had a drinking problem, he obviously enjoyed a drink but rarely to excess, not that I knew anyway and he was never violent with me. You've been through so much Mae, it breaks my heart to see you like this."

"It was really hard last time because I was alone and had to learn how to trust someone again. This time I have him, I'm not alone and that man means nothing to me. These will fade. We'll be okay." She looked at George. "We are good."

"How did Henry and Annabel take it?"

"We haven't told them yet."

George wasn't surprised by that; his phone hadn't lit up like he expected. Olivia explained that until she had answers and knew that Mae was okay she wasn't going to drag them into it. She was stunned when George filled her in on, it was a horror story and it actually made her feel sick. It made her sick to the stomach that he once shared her life, her bed and that she was devastated when he left. Sure that was hard but she couldn't imagine if her children had lived through that, knowing what type of person their father was. Of all the times she wished he hadn't left them, now she was glad he did. She was glad her children had a man like Scott rather than a man like Ryan.

George agreed to go with his Mom and tell Henry and Annabel. It was going to be ugly and George and Mae were both worried that they would take it out on their Mom, Olivia didn't deserve that. Henry hated him and Annabel had always wanted to see her Dad again.

"Well this looks intense." Henry loped in and headed straight for the fridge. He was eating them out of house and home at the moment. "What are you doing here?" he asked his brother.

"I just wanted to see your cheery face."

"As if." He scoffed. For an eighteen year old boy Henry was suitably unimpressed with most people, except Poppy. He turned to mush around her.

George had bought Poppy with him because Mae wanted to sleep. She had a massive headache which was a likely to last a few more days yet. "Hey Poppet." Henry ignored his brother and scooped Poppy from her grandmother's arms. "Your old man can come anytime if he brings you." Henry cooed at her and Poppy smiled her slightly crooked toothless grin. "How'd you manage to be so cute with a Daddy like that."

"It's all her mother." George was happy to admit his daughter took after Mae.

Annabel literally squealed when she came in and saw Poppy. "Oh my, cute overload. Give me." She held out her hands and took Poppy from her brother and smooched her pretty little face.

"Okay, stop smothering my baby." George took Poppy back and asked them to sit. "I need to talk to you."

"Well this isn't weird." Annabel felt it.

"So, a couple of weeks ago a woman contacted me and when I met her it turns out she is our half-sister."

"What?" Henry was the only one that spoke.

George just ploughed on, he had to just rip the band-aid off. "The second time I met her Ryan was with her."

"Ryan, our father?" Annabel gasped. "Where is he? What does he want?"

"Right now, he's in jail. He was arrested yesterday." George was struggling a little and he was grateful for Poppy in his arms, she had a tight grip on one of his hands and was trying to get his finger in her mouth.

"What he do?" Henry was the complete opposite of Annabel, he was unemotional.

"Are you going to get him out? Surely Gus could help?" Annabel didn't even wait to listen to the rest of the story.

"No. No I am not. Gus arrested him."

"What he do?" Henry repeated.

"I found out this morning that he's been in prison for seven years after killing a baby in a drink driving incident."

"You are lying." Annabel spat at him. "You never wanted him to come back."

George looked at his sister sadly. "I did, for a long time I did."

"Can I go see him?" Annabel jumped up but Henry knew something was up, he grabbed his sister's hand and pulled her back down. He was the only one who could control her.

Henry stared hard at George, his brother was holding back, he knew it and he also knew he was going to hate what he was about to say. "Are you going to tell me what he did?"

"Mae's in hospital, she was assaulted at home yesterday."

"What? Who assaulted Mae? What's that got to do with Dad?" Both Olivia and George noted that Annabel had called him Dad again. She hadn't done that for years. She called Scott Dad.

"Ryan assaulted Mae. He came into my home, he knocked Pops over and broke his wrist and then got into a fight with Mae, he pushed her down the stairs and knocked her out. He was trying to get to Poppy. Gus arrived in time after Pops let him know they needed help."

"I don't understand." Annabel shook her head. Henry just sat quietly trying to take it all in.

"He's an alcoholic, he's a killer, he's been charged with DUI, drunk and disorderly and minor assault previously. He's a piece of shit." George was very matter of fact about it.

Henry didn't care about his father. "Is Mae okay?"

"She will be, she's pretty sore and bruised. She's still in hospital."

"I hope he fucking dies." Henry spat out. "I hope he fucking rots. He's fucking dead to me; he always has been." He jumped up and took off outside. Poppy let out a sudden wail, she didn't like the commotion and George soothed her quickly and then handed her to his mother and went after him. Annabel was just sitting staring into space.

George jogged after his brother and caught up with him at his car. "Let me go George." He had grabbed his arm to stop him getting in his car. The last thing he wanted was to worry about Henry driving angry and doing god knows what.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"You can't see him. You don't want to see him and I don't want you driving when you are angry."

George let him go when he was sure he wasn't going to leave. "What the fuck George?"

"I know Henry, trust me I know."

"He hurt Mae." Henry adored his sister-in-law. Mae was fun, she was sweet to him and was always up to mucking around, she'd take him on in computer games and always come to watch him play Football, she teased him about his girlfriends, who seemed to be plentiful and Henry would often talk to her about girls that he liked. "How can you stand that?"

"I can't, you've got no idea how angry I am. Every time I look at Mae I see it." His voice cracked slightly. "I sat beside her bed all night."

"How bad is she?"

"It's not great."

"Can I see her?"

"I'm sure she'd love that. I think she is sick of looking at me."

Henry sat on the hood of his car and George joined him. "You know, sometimes I'd wonder what it would be like if he came back. I know AB thought about it a lot." Henry always called her AB. "She was much more curious than me, but sometimes I did think about what I'd do if he came back. I mean Dad is Scott, he's always been here, but Ryan is my blood, I don't want that blood in me."

"I did too." George squeezed his shoulder. "Blood doesn't define anything, who you are is right here Henry. We are nothing like him. You are nothing like him."

"You said this woman is a half-sister?"

George nodded. "Elena. She is."

"How old is she?"

"Henry, she's older than you." George let that sink in for a bit. Henry was a smart kid.

"So he cheated on Mom?"

"He did."

"So he's abusive, an alcoholic, a killer and a cheater? He's a cunt?"

It was not a word they used often, their mother hated it and it was pretty crass. Mae despised it as well but he wasn't going to tell Henry off for using it right now. "Yep, basically."

"What's going to happen to him?"

"Don't really fucking care Henry." George shrugged. "He's probably going to be sent back to Florida, that's where he's been, he was on parole so this means he's going back inside, I know Gus is making every fucking charge he can think of pinning on him stick."

"Did he want to hurt Poppy?"

"I don't think he did but I do think because of the way Mae fought him that Poppy would have been hurt if he'd got hold of her."

"Did Mae really fight him?"

"Bud, Mae went full mother bear on him. She's as fierce as a Lion that girl, no one was touching her baby." George chuckled a little. "I kinda wish I'd seen it. I always knew she'd kick my ass if I fucked up."

"I'd kick your ass if you fucked up."

"You know I am starting to think you love Mae more than me."

"I do George. I do."

George hugged his brother. "Let's go back in."

"Is Mom going to be okay?"

"Mom has Scott, she doesn't need to worry about this asshole."

"Yeah but it's still gotta sting, finding out he had an affair and another kid."

"You know I think she kinda knew. She stopped loving him a long time ago Henry." His brother was a good kid, starting to get a little wild but had a heart of gold. He loved his family and he loved his Mom.

Annabel was struggling to get a grip and the way she was talking to their mother pissed both George and Henry off. Annabel was yelling at her mother that he was her father and if he wanted to see her then Olivia couldn't stop her. "You never wanted me to know my father, did you?"

"He didn't want to know you. He left Annabel; it was his choice." Olivia was brutal. "He chose to not be in your life anymore."

"You probably made him." Annabel was emotional, that's who she was. She spoke first and thought later. Her real father was a difficult concept for her. She wasn't as black and white as her brothers. George, Elijah and Henry were a lot more definite on the role he had in their life.

"Annabel, it was the last thing I wanted at the time but now if you ask me if I am sorry he left, then no I'm not."

"He made a mistake." That's when Henry came in with George.

"Hey, AB, shut it. The guy is a cunt."

"Henry." Olivia gasped. "Enough."

"No, it's true. He doesn't deserve anything. He's a killer, he killed a kid, he's a drunk and he beat Mae." Henry stood in between his sister and his mother. "So back off. He cheated on Mom; he can rot."

"What are you talking about?"

"The girl that George met, she's older than us."

"Henry, just stop." George stepped in. "Look I know this is all a little raw and a bit of a shock, I didn't want to just dump this on you but you had the right to know. Let's just take a step back, take a breath. I'm going back to Mae now; Poppy will need a feed soon. If you want to see Mae you can, if you are going to rant and rave at Mae don't bother, just remember who put Mae in hospital."

"I'm coming with you." Henry wanted to see Mae.

He asked to stop on the way and ran in and bought Mae her favourite donuts. George talked to Poppy who was alternating between cranky and happy. "Look at Uncle Henry being all sweet to your Mom, I think I need to keep an eye on him. He might try and steal your Momma's heart."

"Did you get chocolate?" He asked when Henry got back in the car.

"Does a bear shit in the woods?"

"Hey, how you feeling about all this now? You think Annabel will be alright, she was pretty angry."

"Yeah, she will be." Henry knew her better than anyone. "She'll calm down. Did you talk to Eli?"

"Not yet. I'll call him later." He shrugged. "Not much he can do."

"He'd want to know."

"Yep." George was almost sick of talking about it but he knew Henry had a question. He could see him stewing on something.

"Why didn't you tell us he was back? What did he want?"

George had a feeling he'd have to explain at some point why he didn't tell anyone that their father was back and the thing was he was still trying to figure it out himself. "I didn't trust him; I didn't know what he wanted. I don't know Henry something didn't seem right. It was just a feeling I got."

"Did he want to see us?"

"He did and if I thought he was here for the right reasons I would have told you." George glanced at his brother briefly and he could see how his mind was churning. "I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was protecting you and Annabel and Mom."

"And Poppy?"

"Yeah."

Henry started out the window. "I'm glad you did."

"Why?" George didn't expect that; he was expecting some kind of push back for not telling them. Henry didn't even need to think about his answer.

"Because it's easier to think that he's dead if I've never met him."

"Fair enough, don't say that to Mae though."

"What?"

"That you prefer to think your Dad is dead."

"Because of her Dad?" Henry had sat down with Mae one day and asked her about her parents and what happened when they died. Henry had been shocked at how raw it was still was for Mae how much it hurt and still hurt to this day.

"Yep."

George had never seen Henry so upset as he was when he saw Mae, he rested his hand on his shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze. "Come here." She beckoned him into the room. Mae was sitting up a little talking to Adam. As soon as Adam woke he was in her room. If the nurses couldn't find him they knew to check in Mae's room and he was always there.

"I'm sorry Mae." Henry perched himself on the edge of her bed and Mae grabbed his hands but couldn't look at his sister-in-law. George had given Poppy to Adam for a quick cuddle, she was starting to get ratty and ready for her Mom.

"Hey, I'm okay. I'm happy to see you. Pops was getting on my nerves and your brother is fussing over me like the angel of death. Now you are here we can eat doughnuts and ignore them."

"I wish this didn't happen." He was still struggling to look at Mae. It was a lot more confronting than he thought it would be. George had told him that Mae looked pretty bad but he just didn't imagine this.

"So do I, but I'm okay. Poppy's okay and you and me are okay." Mae reached for the Chocolate doughnut. "Besides you bought me my favourite." She broke off a bit and popped it into the corner of her mouth, she wasn't able to take a bite of anything, she couldn't open her mouth that well. She chewed slowly. "Your brother didn't bring me donuts."

Adam chimed in; he was still grumbling about having to stay. "No one bought me anything, except grief."

"I bought you one Pops, custard right?" Henry had a bit of a smile. Everyone called him Pops, he literally didn't answer them if they didn't.

"He's a good kid George."

"He's alright."

Poppy let everyone know she'd had enough of them eating and not her. There was no way Henry was watching that, it felt creepy. Not that Mae was an exhibitionist; unless they were alone Mae kept it all pretty well covered.

Henry came and sat in the chair next to Adam, looking at his phone. "Yeah, I don't want to see that either." The old man mumbled.

Henry gave Adam a fist bump with his good hand. "I mean I like a good set as much as the next guy but that's like looking at my Mom's."

Mae managed to laugh a little. "Okay, you bloody grumpy old men. Just eat your donuts."

"You two talking about my wife's breasts.." George shook his head. "…not loving it."


	28. Safe House

"Are you sure you are ready?" George placed the last of Poppy and Mae's bags in the car.

"More than ready." Mae strapped Poppy into her seat and ran her finger over her nose. "Aren't we Sweetheart. We want to go home."

George folded up her pram and shoved it in. The amount of stuff they had collected at the hospital in four days was astounding. Every time someone came in they bought more stuff and now he had to get it all home. "How much shit have we got? We can never go on holidays, not without a semi-trailer."

"I'd like that."

"What? A Semi?"

"No, to go away. Can we do that?"

"Sure. Where should we go?" George helped her into the car. As much as Mae told him she was fine he knew she wasn't. Her body ached all over. Having to spend four days in hospital had annoyed Mae no end and George copped a lot of that anger, now that Poppy was back feeding properly they were finally discharged and her headaches were easing off a little.

As George got into the car Mae laughed. "Did you see the looks?" They had been hard to miss. People stared at them as they made their way through the parking lot. It was obvious that people thought she was a poor battered wife.

"Yep. Obviously people think I'm an asshole."

Mae laughed. "Sometime you are. Good thing I love you."

He held Mae's hand tightly as they stepped inside the house. He'd been back and his parents had tidied up well and he knew that they had meals stacked up in the freezer and the fridge was overflowing with food thanks to Andrew. "Okay?" She stopped in the lounge room.

"I am. This is where I fought for our baby. I proud of that."

She was just amazing. He'd never met anyone as strong as Mae. Perhaps she had no choice, from the time she was little she had to fight for everything. Grief was a beast and she'd tamed it and told George that what happened to her in their house was never going to hurt as much as that did. "I'm proud of you."

"Can we just sit here, with Poppy?"

"Hell, yes." George sat Poppy on his knees, she was getting so strong now and loved sitting up and talking. He bounced her and played peek-a-boo and she giggled and squealed. "So where should we go?" They were happy to get her home as well and hopefully back in routine. She'd been basically in someone's arms for the past four days and while she loved it they saw the potential issues that was going to cause. Before this happened she was getting used to playing on the floor, squealing and kicking and trying to get a toy, everything was going to her mouth these days and they wanted to get her back to growing and developing into the amazing little thing that she was.

"Can we really go away?"

"If you want to go away we can."

"Like I love that everyone just wants to help but I think getting away for a few days, just the three of us would be good." She tickled Poppy's foot and loved how she curled her toes and pulled her foot away.

George noticed it; Mae jumped when there was a knock on the door. He handed her Poppy and Mae hugged her tightly, instinctively protecting her little girl. "It's okay Monkey." He kissed her temple. He hated that she was scared in her own house. This was their place, their safe place, a place they loved and were making into the home they wanted for Poppy and for their little family. They bought her home to this house when she was three days old and it made George feel like he'd failed them because Mae was now scared by a knock on the door.

"Wow." He was a bit stunned to see his brother on the doorstep. "This is a surprise."

"Thought so. Can I come in?"

"Sorry, yes." George stepped aside and let Elijah in. "It's good to see you." They hugged tightly; they may have been living different lives in different city's but they were still brothers.

"Bloody hell Mae." Elijah didn't hide his surprise when he saw his sister-in-law. "Fuck."

"Most people just stare." She struggled to get up off the couch with Poppy in her hands and George rushed to help. "How are you Eli?"

"Better than you." He hugged her gently. "Holy fuck."

"So I look like shit?"

"You look like you went ten rounds with Mike Tyson." Eli had always just said whatever he felt which amused George that he got away with it.

"Or a cunt." George refused to say his name. He didn't exist. Mae hated that word but George ignored her, he was still that angry.

George had talked to Eli when he called and just started ranting at him. He didn't even get a chance to call Eli and fill him in and as soon as he saw his name pop up on his phone he knew what it was about.

"What the fuck George?" Eli didn't even let him say a word. "The old man is back and he bashed Mae, what the fuck is going on and why did I hear about this from Annabel? Why is she losing her shit at me?"

Apparently Annabel had rung him in a fit and accused Eli of knowing that her father was in town and didn't tell her. She couldn't get angry at George right now because he was dealing with Mae. "What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean Dad's back?"

"He's in jail, in Chicago, he came back to see us and now he's in jail."

"Why is he in jail? Annabel I've got no fucking idea what you are talking about."

"He bashed Mae. She's in hospital and George is really pissed but he knew he was back and didn't tell us. Did he tell you?"

"What the fuck do you mean he bashed Mae?" Eli could barely follow his sister's hysterical rant. "Is Mae okay? What about Poppy?"

"Did he tell you?"

"I don't fucking care about him Annabel, what about Mae?"

"He's got another kid; did you know that? He cheated on Mom."

Eli hung up on her. He didn't care about his dead-shit father, he hadn't thought about him in years. He called George demanding to know what the fuck was going on. It was a relief to know that Poppy was safe but he was stunned to find out how badly Mae had been hurt. Now he was here and it was good to see them. Not that seeing Mae made him feel better, George had sent him photos but seeing her face to face had been a little confronting.

Eventually Mae left them to it. Poppy needed a sleep and Mae was tired so she took Poppy up to bed and went to lie down herself. "You be okay?" George checked before she went up.

"Yep. You two can rant and rave to your hearts content. Keep the noise down, I don't want the neighbours suddenly worried we've turned into a crack den." Their neighbours had already been to check on them. They saw the car pull up and rushed over to see how Mae was, they'd talked to Scott when he was at the house and Iris when she called in to pick things up for Poppy. They were a lovely elderly Scottish couple and were always friendly and Mrs Lamont often popped over with cake or baking for Mae during the day when George was at work and she would often join Mae on a walk with Poppy.

Mae didn't want to know what they talked about, it was all anyone was talking about at the moment and she was over it. She was there, she lived it she didn't need to keep living it.

George had been amazing though, he kept telling her how tough she was but he had been just as strong. He took care of Poppy when she couldn't, he dealt with her family and his. She did wonder when he was going to fall, it would happen. Mae just hoped she was there when it did happen.

What she did know was he refused to see his father again, or even acknowledge he was around. They were hoping he would plead guilty so that Mae didn't have to go to court. Adam was willing to go _'to bury the asshole' _and Gus could offer some testimony but if he didn't plead guilty then Mae would have to testify. That was a way down the track but they had talked about it and Mae did worry how they would go if she was responsible for his father dying in jail. George would prefer it if he did, he was emotionally detached from his biological father.

"How's Mom?"

"You haven't seen her yet? Did you tell her you were coming?"

"Nope, not yet. I wanted to see you and Mae first. Is Mom okay?"

George thought about it for a moment. "I don't really know. I talked to Scott and he said she's just worried about Mae but I don't think he believes it. You know it was just hit after hit, he's back, he's put Mae in hospital, he's got another child that was born while they were still married. She was over him a long time ago."

"Still gotta hurt though?" Eli was struggling to get his head around it, surely his Mom hadn't just shrugged it off. "Annabel is fucking off the charts."

"She's always had this want to see him. I don't know why."

"But now, after what he did?"

George just shrugged. He didn't understand it either but it was the least of his worries. "I can't worry about Annabel, her freaking out is her problem right now. Mae is my priority." He leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "I'm scared man, for Mae. I don't know how many times she can be hit and keep getting up."

"Pretty sure she'll always get up; she's done it her whole life. What about you?"

"Angry, so fucking angry. It's just here." He thumped his chest. "I keep swallowing it because of them." He pointed upstairs. "My whole fucking world. Some days I want to fucking kill him and then I realise that's a cop out. I hope he dies a long slow painful death."

Eli wasn't surprised. George had always been the most even tempered one of them but he just buried things and when he blew, he blew. "Wow."

"He could have killed her; he could have done anything to Poppy. I was trying to protect them, to protect everyone and I fucked it up."

"You didn't. Come on man, I know you've heard it over and over again, it's not your fault and no one is blaming you."

"Except me."

"Well fuck, only you can change that." Eli was right, nobody could change how he felt.

George sat and stared at the wall for a moment. "Mae wants to go away for a few days, I think that's to get me away from here as much as for her to get away."

"Come to New York."

"I'm not sure staying in your shitty apartment is what she had in mind."

"No, Clem's folks have an apartment overlooking Central Park, they are in Europe for the next three months and it's empty. I am sure they'd be happy for you to stay a few days. It's a sweet sweet place." Clementine was Eli's girlfriend. They had been dating for a little over a year and Mae always asked them when they were getting married because she needed a reason to come to New York.

Eli worked in finance and Clem was an interior designer who recently started work at Bergdorf Goodman to get some experience in visual display creation and theming. She loved it and had started renovating Eli's small apartment. He was looking forward to seeing what she could do with a shoebox.

"I'll run it by her."

"It would be perfect and then I could spend some more time with my niece. I have so much to teach her." Eli had only seen her twice. He came home just after she was born and then about a month ago when he bought Clem home for his mother's birthday. They had stayed with George and Mae and not surprising Mae now wanted to get the kitchen done sooner rather than later, thanks to Clem's input. Parcels kept arriving from New York with things for Poppy's and she was constantly emailing or texting Mae pictures for her 'kitchen mood board'. "How wild are Mae's Mob?"

"Fairly wild. I am sure you will see either one or all of them if you sit here long enough."

When Poppy woke George went up and got her. Mae was still asleep; she stirred a little but Poppy was happy to wait a while before a feed so he bought her down for Eli to cuddle. "Man, I can't believe this ball of cuteness was made by you." Poppy was smiling happily at her uncle. "Lucky she looks like her mother."

"I chose wisely."

"You want to come to New York and play with Uncle Eli and Aunty Clem don't you?" He smiled at Poppy who talked back at him. "See Dad, she says she wants to come."

"It's not me you have to convince."

He waited until Mae came down to feed Poppy before he left and after telling Mae that they were coming to New York for their break. She agreed to think about it and Eli was going to get Clem to give her a call and beg her to come.

Eli couldn't put off going to see his mother any longer. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her, he loved his Mom but he knew he'd have to deal with Henry and Annabel as well. Henry was just plain angry and Annabel was being a stubborn bitch about it all. She was giving her mother grief and it was another reason why Eli came, Henry had called him and told him what was going on. He knew George had to focus on Mae so Clem told him to go home and see what he could do.

Within an hour of Eli leaving Clem had called Mae and pleaded with her to come to New York. George just smiled, "It might be nice. I know Eli would love it and they could spend some time with Poppy. Maybe you and I could even go out on a date?"

"Looking like this?"

"It's my fault." That came out of the blue. George just blurted it out. "Sorry."

"Baby, it's not your fault. You remember how you kept telling me what happened with Rick wasn't my fault?" She held both his cheeks and waited until he acknowledged her. "Then the same goes here. It's not your fault, it's not my fault. It's Ryan's fault."

"You don't know what it's like, every time I look at you I just get this crushing feeling that I could have stopped this happening if only I wasn't so stubborn. He just wanted to know about Poppy…."

"Stop, just stop it. Even if we'd let him see her, he's still a piece of shit and I'd rather live with this than having that man anywhere near Poppy. It's our job to protect her, we knew that the moment that blood test came back positive and that's what we both did. Something in your gut told you to protect her from him, that's what being a father is. So just stop okay?"

"I promised your family I'd never hurt you…."

"And you haven't. You didn't do this George but you will help me through it because you've done it before. I have faith in you and us and fucking hell, I love you."

"Good."

Mae smiled at him. "Good."

When Elijah saw his Mom she was more worried about Annabel than herself, she hadn't let up about seeing her Dad and Elijah warned her that it wasn't a good idea. He only stayed a couple of days and tried to keep the peace at home and give George and Mae some breathing space. They didn't need to know that Annabel was determined to see her father.

Now she wished she had listened to her brother. Seeing her father was a bad idea but at least she was left in no doubt what he thought about her and all of them. "Who are you?" he sat down and could not have looked more disinterested if he tried. He wasn't at all what she expected, the photos she had were so old, he was a young happy man in those photos, not this old, balding hard looking man siting opposite her now.

"Annabel. I'm Annabel." She stuttered. She was expecting something else, a flicker of recognition or a little bit of surprise that she was there but just got a blank stare.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to see you. I've always wanted to meet you."

He leant back in the chair and held his arms out. "Well here I am, happy now?"

Annabel had no idea what to say, this wasn't going the way she expected. "I'm sorry you are sick."

"Sure you are. Like your brother was?"

"George?"

"Well he didn't seem to care and he's the reason I am rotting in here again. I mean I will die in here because of him."

Annabel was a little stunned. "George didn't do anything." She stuttered.

"He made things difficult, it could have been easier. His wife attacked me."

"Mae didn't attack you." Annabel was starting to get a little hysterical. She didn't know what to do now. "You forced your way into her house. She was just trying to protect Poppy."

"Poppy, so it's a girl. That's a pity." He smiled a little creepily. "Girls are fucking useless; you all grow up into manipulative shrews. What a waste of my fucking time."

"I don't understand..."

"Medical bills are expensive. Are you really that stupid? You really thought I actually wanted to see you. I left fifteen years ago for a reason. I didn't want you then, I certainly want or need you now. Your brother on the other hand, he's got money…maybe I picked the wrong one, maybe the other one would have been better." Annabel just sat there, she was shocked and she wanted to run and was glad that he got up and walked away but the cruel laugh was crushing.

She just sat there until a Prison Officer came and rested a hand on her shoulder. Annabel jumped and she couldn't stop the tears coming. "You okay, love?"

"I'm sorry I came."

"You aren't the first." He helped her up from the table and ushered her from the visitation room.

She called Henry in tears as soon as she got out. "I fucked up."

"What did you do?" He had a fair idea exactly what she'd done. "You went didn't you?"

"I did."

"What the fuck AB, I told you not to go. Eli told you as well, why don't you ever fucking listen. " Henry was pissed. "You are being a fucking idiot about this."

"I know."

He could barely understand what she was saying. "Where are you?" Even though he was pissed with his sister he wasn't going to let her twist in the wind. He told her to wait and he'd come get her.

Henry was even more pissed when Annabel told him the real reason he was here, to get money from George for his treatment, and that he told Annabel that she was stupid, girls were useless and that he never wanted her that's why he left. "I told you he was a cunt."

Henry hugged his sister. At the end of the day, she was his twin and he adored her, they had always been as thick as thieves. He'd have her back no matter what. "I am starting to think that word really works for him. Are you going to tell George?"

"No, but you are."

"I can't."

"Yes you can, you chose to go Annabel, this is your problem. I will come with you but you are telling George."

"What do I tell him?"

"Just tell him that he was only here for money. Don't you dare tell him what he said about Poppy." Henry had been annoyed with her that she told Ryan about Poppy. He had given her a serve because she knew George had kept that from him and she was stupid for telling him. Despite that Henry decided it was better that George knew everything.

George was furious, he fairly teed off on his sister and Henry eventually had to step in and stop it before it got so far out of control that there was no coming back. He took Annabel home and let George cool off. Mae talked him down and he called Annabel a few days later and asked her when she was going to come see Poppy. "She misses her Aunty Bell."

Annabel had burst into tears when she spoke to her brother. "Hey Annabel, it's okay. I know this was tough for you too. I don't blame you for wanting to see him and I wish it went the way you wanted."

Mae talked to her when she came over, she was a nervous wreck and Annabel was worried that George hated her now. "I don't know why you are even talking to me?"

"He doesn't hate you Annabel."

"He should, you should."

"No he shouldn't, yes he was angry. I was too but I get it Annabel. I get why you went." Mae reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. Mae was angry as well; she was just dealing with it better than George was.

"Really?"

Mae was upset at how devastated Annabel was. She looked distraught; she was a sweet girl who didn't have a mean bone in her body. She was confused and at an age where the bigger picture was harder to see. "Yes, I know what it's like to hope and wish for your Dad. You wanted to see him, I want to see my Dad again, every day of my life I hope for it, I still do."

"But it's different for you. No one is going to hate you for wanting to see your Dad, he died and he didn't leave you."

"Well he did leave me and some days I hated him for that and I still do at times."

"Even now?"

"Yes some days and I know it's irrational but that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. My parents didn't choose to leave me, I know that and I know it's different for you and we don't hate you for going to see your Dad. We didn't like it, but we don't hate you. There is a big difference and George doesn't hate you Annabel, he was trying to protect you."

"I'm sorry." She sobbed and Mae held onto her until she calmed down.

"George hates him doesn't he?"

"Yes."

"Will he ever forgive him?"

"No, no he won't. He has hurt too many people for too long. Your Mom, you and Henry and Eli, that mother who's baby he killed, my Pops, Me and his little girl. It's too much Annabel, the bridge is burnt beyond repair."

"I get it."

"What about you? Do you forgive him?"

"No, he doesn't love me, he doesn't want me, he doesn't want Poppy. I don't need him but I need George and you and Poppy."

"We love you Annabel, all of us." Kissing her forehead gently she patted her leg. "We are never going to stop loving you, some days we may not like everything you do but we adore you and want Poppy to grow up with this amazing Aunt. Now, how about Poppy has some Aunty Bell love, she's missed you."

Mae let Annabel cuddle Poppy and it wasn't easy for a while. Annabel would come see Poppy when George was at work and when they were all together it was awkward but they got there eventually and Poppy was the link that kept them all together.

George and Mae went to New York, it was a perfect few days where they got away from all the fuss. Mae's family had been fantastic, he couldn't have made it through those first days without them and he was forever in Adam's debt but they could also be overwhelming and it was hard to get them take a step back. Mae sent them a message everyday letting them know they were good and thankfully they were happy with that. Mae relaxed although George worried about the damage to his credit card when Mae and Clem went shopping and for weeks after parcels kept arriving at the house. Whatever Mae wanted though; he'd give her.

He owed it to her or at least he felt like he did.


	29. Friends Only

**_Iris Adelaide Ruzek Hollister_**

Being friendly shouldn't be a sin, being nice was who she was raised to be. Sure she had a healthy sense of personal awareness and although she was friendly and would always chat to people she was careful. Growing up around cops had that effect on you.

"Can I join you?"

Iris looked up from her phone. She had half an hour between classes and had grabbed a coffee and was checking her phone. Mae had sent her a few photos of Poppy, which she sent every day. Little Poppy was growing up way to fast and was just starting solids which was amusing. She was a determined little thing and when she didn't like something she let them know. Iris was crazy about her, videos and photos of both her and Sam took up most of the space on her phone.

Iris contemplated saying no, she was enjoying the down time.

"Sure."

His name was Xavier and she knew him from a one class they shared but apart from a few brief conversations and general pleasantries she didn't really have anything to do with him. Iris usually didn't mind though; she was always happy to chat except today she felt annoyed by it. He leant over and looked at the book Iris had put on the table; she was going to read once she'd replied to Mae's messages. "The Shadow of the Wind? Never heard of it."

"It's an old book. I'm really enjoying it though. We were cleaning out my Pops shed and found an old box of books so I thought I'd read some." They had found the box that apparently belonged to her parents and when they had packed up to move to Australia Adam was supposed to get rid of it but it had somehow ended up in the shed and been forgotten. Iris had wanted to keep them; she liked the thought that her parents had held these books and decided to read them. She wasn't ready to share that though, particularly with someone she didn't know and wasn't really enjoying talking to at the moment. Iris may have been friendly but like her sister's she kept some parts of her family life close to her chest. They really didn't need to talk about it, it wasn't hard to find out. The internet had all sorts of information if you bothered to look.

Xavier offered to get her another coffee.

"Oh god no, one is enough for me." Iris put her phone away. "Thank you though."

It wasn't the way Iris wanted to spend her free half hour and she was up once her alarm went off. "Thanks for the chat." She threw her bag over her shoulder. "See you around." And barely gave him a second glance when she dashed to make her class and he was quickly forgotten.

"Do you need a lift somewhere?" Iris jumped a little when the car stopped in front of her. She had her headphones in and was zoned out a little. Tugging on the cords they fell from her ears.

"What?"

"Can I give you a lift?" Xavier repeated as he shifted his bag off his seat in anticipation.

"No thanks." Iris smiled. "I'm just waiting for someone."

"Oh okay." She put her earbuds back in and he seemed to wait a moment before taking off.

Iris was on her toes as she saw his car and jumped into the front seat, leaning over and giving Colton a kiss. They were having fun together and had been together a year and Iris had fallen love with him quickly but they were still young and well aware that it was too soon to settle down. They were happy to see where the wind took them and didn't really have any plans at this stage. They loved each other; it was all a little crazy and they loved spending time together and that's all that mattered right now.

"Good day?"

"Yep. We had some mock cases to go through, what we'd do and how we'd handle it. All different scenarios."

"You rocked it, right?" He was a nice guy and adored Iris. She was such a sweet girl and the fact she was beautiful and funny and smart certainly made it easy for him to be with her, he'd done the pretty girl with not much else going on so meeting Iris was a breath of fresh air. He was an accountant now, having graduated last year and been at his firm for just over six months and it was an interesting mix. The quiet considered accountant and the confident, boisterous social work student but they worked. She dragged him out of his box and he calmed her down.

"I had to play the role of the victim and I went psychotic."

"Oh you played yourself, nice." Colton teased her.

Iris snorted. "Funny guy."

"Home or my place?"

"Your place. I thought you could cook me dinner." Iris chuckled as she ran her hand over his leg and dug her fingers into his inner thigh. He could try and stop her but that was pointless, Iris had a one track mind and he really appreciated that she liked touching him constantly. She liked physical contact, she loved to be hugged, kissed, touched and close to people. "Or take out. Netflix and chill."

"I'd cook you dinner but then you will whinge that I am trying to kill you." It wasn't his strong suit, cooking and Iris teased him mercilessly. His mother worked his whole life and was hardly maternal or a home maker. His sister Sophie ended up getting heavily into drugs, trashing their home looking for money, stealing from the house and tormenting Colton when he was younger. Marchella enabled her, she was always taking her back in, giving her money and believing her when she said she was going to change. When she attacked their grandmother his father had finally had enough and kicked her out of the house. Marcella never forgave him and slowly but surely their marriage disintegrated until they couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other. Sophie was now living in New Mexico with two children who they had never seen or met and Marchella blamed her ex-husband for everything.

Marchella clung to her remaining child and found it hard to let go and not interfere with his life. She wanted to know what was going on and had an opinion on all his girlfriends and made life difficult for them, no one was good enough for her son and she worried that they would all lead him down a bad path like Sophie's boyfriends obviously had. His relationship with his mother wasn't great, and he did his best and it drove her to distraction that Iris was always so pleasant and refused to play her games. As far as she was concerned Iris was just another girl trying to take her boy away from her and Marchella made it obvious that she was in it for the long haul. She had outlasted more than a few girlfriends, this latest one wasn't getting the better of her.

Iris was a different kettle of fish though.

Meeting Iris had been good for Colton and seeing a normal family, or as normal as her crazy mob could be, had made him feel a little more settled. He started to think you could be happy with your family. They were fun to be around. He had been surprised to learn about her past, you just never knew what lie beneath the surface and their mutual tragic childhoods drew them to each other. Everyone had a past they couldn't hide from. You could let it destroy you or let it make you. Iris showed Colton that his past could make him better.

"Netflix and chill sounds awesome though." He winked. One thing they still had was their desire for each other.

As soon as they got home she called her Pops, like she always did. "Hey Pops, how was your day?" It always started off the same and Colton went and had a shower while Iris talked to him. When he came out she was chewing her bottom lip on the couch.

"What's wrong?"

"Pops just sounded off. Do you mind if we grab some take out and go back to my place?" Iris worried about him constantly especially since 'George's Family shitshow' as they called it. He refused to leave his house and move into something smaller and easier to manage. She did feel guilty that she wasn't always home anymore, she spent nights with Colton or was out with friends. Everyone told her she had to live her life and she was young and needed to enjoy herself but Pops was getting more and more frail. Iris would still drop him off a Mae's house so he could spend the day with her and Poppy. That hadn't changed, Adam was happy to 'look' after Mae. He'd gotten over the shock and his guilt that Mae got hurt and now prided himself on still being a 'smart cop' who saved her and Poppy.

Lola would pick him up for a day when she was off work and he loved Sam, although he was getting a little too boisterous for Pops now. He was always at him for something but Adam adored him. Alfie was always still living with them and Gus tried to see him every day. Viv also loved taking Pops out for the day and he always came home exhausted and grumbling that Viv was too out there for him but he loved it, Viv was even more crazy than Iris.

"Sure." It really didn't bother Colton. He liked the old man; he always had a funny story to tell and he understood Adam's love for his grandchildren. It was really sweet to see how they all adored him and fussed over him.

Iris had made it very clear from the beginning that being in a relationship with her was being in a relationship with her whole family and taking care of her Pops would always come first. Colton could either get on board or walk away.

He happily hopped on the train.


	30. Mother's

Iris was on the back foot from the start with Colton's mother. She had turned up unexpectedly one morning just after they had started seeing each other. They were planning on heading out to the lake for a swim and some stand-up paddle boarding and Iris was wearing just a pair of shorts and her bikini top. They may have not known each other long but they were comfortable with each other and Iris couldn't always stay all night but they certainly made the most of time they spent together, they were young and there was a lot of heat in the budding relationship.

"Oh hi." Iris was surprised to see his mother standing in the kitchen when she came out of the bedroom, she recognised her from a photo that Colton had shown her. Nervously she rushed towards her and shook her hand. "I'm Iris, nice to meet you." Colton had warned her but Iris liked a challenge, she wasn't going to change who she was either. She was friendly, boisterous and confident and that was one of the things that Colton liked about her, she was the complete opposite of him. Not that he was unfriendly, he was just a lot quieter than Iris and preferred to be in the background.

"Hello." Marchella exhaled slowly.

"Iris." Colton repeated. "This is Iris." Iris was still standing in the kitchen, unsure what to do. She suddenly felt naked. Being in a bikini around people never really bothered her, it was just swimwear. In front of his mother she suddenly felt self-conscious even though it was lucky she was that dressed, it wasn't unusual for her to wander around in her underwear or even less when she was with Colton. Iris was confident with her body and not shy and Colton had certainly let her know that he appreciated every single part of it.

"Hello Iris." Marchella stopped short of pretending it was nice to meet her because it really wasn't.

Colton quickly grabbed Iris a jumper to pull on when he saw the pinched look on his mother's face. He had a hoodie hanging on the back of a chair and Iris reluctantly accepted it. He knew his mother had seen Iris's tattoos and his mother had very specific opinions about girls who got tattoos. His sister had come home with one when she was fifteen and it was the beginning of the end.

Iris was a bit miffed that Colton seemed desperate for her to cover up but she figured it would just make things easier and less uncomfortable if she did. She hoped like hell this wasn't an insight into Colton and his attitude. He loved her body he kept telling her, she didn't need to guy to get possessive over it and make her cover up around other people.

"Coffee Mom?" Colton tried to break the awkward silence while Iris disappeared into the bedroom quickly to get dressed.

Marchella nodded stiffly. "How long have you been dating?"

"A couple of weeks."

"So quick. She's moved in already?"

"She is the cat's mother; her name is Iris." Colton didn't even change the tone of his voice, there was no point, it wouldn't change a damn thing. "Yes we are dating, yes she is staying here sometimes, Iris has her own home where she spends most nights. She is not sponging off me if that is your concern."

Marchella just rolled her eyes. "Where did you meet?"

"At College. I paid for her coffee one day, she was holding up the line."

"She doesn't look like a College type of girl." Marchella replied sweetly. "Or was she making you coffee."

Colton ignored the subtle dig at Iris. "What does she look like?"

Marchella didn't answer she just watched Iris as she walked back into the living room wearing her own clothes and took the coffee that Colton had made her and tried to make small talk. "Colton tells me that you are going on a cruise soon? Is it your first time?"

"No, I've been on a few."

"You must love them." It was awkward, Marchella was being deliberately obstinate and vague and Iris was trying hard. "Where is this one going?"

"Alaska."

"Oh how beautiful. I haven't made it that far north yet. One day maybe." Marchella said nothing. "I'd love to travel some more."

"I guess you haven't had the chance to travel much at your age and being a college student." Marchella made it very clear that she thought Iris was too young for her son. Not that there was much between them, Colton was two years older than Iris, hardly eye-raising.

"A little bit. I have been back to Australia a few times, that's where I was born."

"You don't sound Australian?"

"I was only there of couple of years and I have lived in the US since I was three."

"I guess you can hardly claim to be Australian then?"

"Well that's where I was born, I have an Australian passport…" Iris didn't put up with shit for long. "…so g'day." Colton laughed when his mother looked like she'd sucked a lemon. He was starting to wonder if it was wrong to be a little bit turned on by Iris right now.

"That must have been hard on your mother? Being so far away from her family. I assume she was American?" Marchella couldn't look less impressed if she tried. She didn't care about Iris obviously, she got that, they had just met but she felt like Marchella wasn't making an effort or even pretending to try and be polite.

"No, she loved it."

"Anyway, Colton sweetheart." Marchella turned to her son making it abundantly clear she had zero interest in Iris. "Are you coming to dinner tomorrow? Your Aunt is in town and would love to see you."

"Sure." He shrugged. He did actually like his Aunt, he often wished that he'd been born on that side of the family rather than the one he got.

Marchella turned to Iris and made sure she knew she wasn't being invited. "It's a family thing."

"So glad you have them too, we have a family dinner every Sunday night." Iris assured her, despite being very well aware that she had just been told she wasn't welcome. It didn't bother Iris because they had literally been dating for four weeks. Neither of them were ready for the family thing yet. She wasn't trying to muscle in on Colton's family, dealing with hers was enough. At this point in time they were having fun and enjoying a hot little sex life, nothing more, nothing less. "Hope yours aren't as crazy as mine."

"I doubt that." Marchella scoffed disdainfully and Iris saw Colton bristle just as his mother literally turned her back on Iris to talk to her son. "Have you seen your father lately?"

"A couple of weeks ago."

"Still with the hooker?"

"Really?" Colton raised one eye in his mother's direction. "Is that necessary?"

Colton hadn't talked much about his mother, he told her she didn't want to know and now that Iris had met her she understood why.

"Sorry about that." He closed the door after her. Marchella had hung around for as long as possible, trying to make Iris uncomfortable. It was as if she was trying to outlast her but she underestimated Iris, she wasn't going anywhere. She wanted to spend the day with Colton and that's what she was going to do. She had a busy week ahead of her at College, and his wasn't any better at work and they'd be lucky to get much of a chance to catch up. Next weekend Alfie was going away so she had to stay with Adam all weekend which would put a big dent in their sex life.

"So that's your Mom?"

"Yep."

"She seems lovely." Iris said seriously and Colton cocked his head to the side and looked at her like she was mad and then laughed.

Iris ran her hands down his back as he hugged her. "You feel tense." She dug her fingers into the muscles on his shoulders. "You should relax."

Colton burrowed his head into her neck and Iris liked his warm breath as his words hummed against her skin. "Wanna help me?"

"Got any ideas?"

"Let me kiss every inch of you." He nibbled on her earlobe. "And I do mean every single inch of you."

"Okay. What would your mother think?"

"Just stop, I'll never get it up if you talk about her."

Iris chuckled and slid her hand down inside his shorts. "I can help you with that." He responded to her touch, how could he not. Iris was incredible, he enjoyed every minute he spent with her and did not give a shit about what his mother thought, he only cared if she upset Iris but Iris had thick skin, thicker than most people he knew. "So she thinks I'm a trollop? Trying to steal all your money? Or trap you into a shotgun wedding?"

"All of the above."

"I don't mind being a trollop as long as I am trolloping with you." Iris stopped what she was doing for a moment, much to his disappointment. "Can I just ask? You made me cover up because you don't like people looking at me…."

He silenced her with a steaming kiss. "No, because my mother is a bitch and she would have eventually made you feel bad by commenting on the tatts. Your body, show who you want as long as I get to take you home and get naked with you. I know that's not why you have them though, for people to gawk at. I know what they mean to you and I didn't want my mother trashing that."

"Oh, you are sweet." Colton was grateful that she resumed her previous activity.

"Now, let me get a good look at this body." He pulled the shirt over her head in one swift motion. "Fucking awesome."

Not surprising his mother was on him like shit to a blanket as soon as she arrived for dinner. "I never got the attraction of covering your body in ink. It will look terrible when you are old and I wouldn't employ someone with tattoos all over their body." Marchella sniped when she announced in front of his Aunt that Colton was dating a 'pretty young thing.' Making sure she emphasised the young part.

"Lucky Iris doesn't go to job interviews in her underwear."

"Then what's the point?"

"It's personal."

"I thought you didn't like them either?"

"I didn't. I get Iris's though and she is entitled to do whatever she wants to her body."

"What does that mean?"

"I told you, it's personal. Why don't you ask Iris about them next time you see her?" He would love to see that conversation and he wanted to make it clear that Iris would still be around for a while yet. How long? They didn't even know that yet.

It just kept going, every time Marchella could get a shot off about Iris she did. She was too young, she was a college student, she obviously saw him as a catch because he had a good career ahead of him.

"Actually I might just sponge off her, seeing as Iris owns a couple of properties already."

"Family money?"

"Can you stop bashing someone you've met once? You don't know anything about her. I like Iris, a lot." Colton had enough. "I don't really give two fucks if you do or don't like her, but you can at least show me some fucking respect. Iris was nothing but polite to you despite your best efforts to put her down at every opportunity."

His Aunt had asked him about Iris before she left. He got on well with Celeste. "She's great, I really like her and I know Mom is determined to hate her but I think she's met her match. Iris is awesome and she's fun and gorgeous despite Mother's insistence that she's a walking billboard."

"She doesn't love the tattoos obviously." Celeste laughed. She was well aware of her sister's prudish attitude.

"Nope, it was only that Iris was wearing a bikini when they met that she even saw them, which went down like a lead balloon, if she hadn't Mom wouldn't know. Despite Mom making out that she's covered in tatts, she's not." Colton shrugged. "I like 'em."

Morgan just smiled. "What?" Colton asked.

"I think you are a little bit smitten with this one. About time."

Colton's Aunt was right, he was smitten and he knew that he wanted to keep seeing Iris and he had to try and get his mother on board, if only to make his life easier. He invited her to dinner one night with Iris a few weeks later, he wanted her to know that Iris was still very much around and she needed to get used to it, he had no plans to stop dating her. He asked Marchella to at least make an effort but he should have known better. Marchella could not have made it more obvious that she didn't like Iris.

"What are you studying at College?" Marchella asked her, she knew she had to pretend to care. Colton had ordered her a drink when she arrived twenty minutes late. It was apparently a little out of her way, which was bullshit but he ignored it.

"Social work. I am really enjoying it."

"What a depressing choice. Dealing with other people's misery all day every day."

"Some people aren't as lucky as others and they might just need someone to believe in them."

"The Social worker Sophie was allocated did nothing to help us deal with her. She was always on her side not ours."

"That must have been hard. I'm sorry." Iris didn't know what else to say. Colton had told her not to bring it up because his mother could go either way, it was always a bit of a lottery when the topic of his sister came up but she couldn't ignore it now that Marchella had mentioned it.

"Anyway, I am sure she's fine wherever she is, of course no one can tell me. Client confidentiality and all that." Marchella waved her hand to indicate they were done with that conversation. "What do your parents do?"

"My Mom was a social worker too." With her low opinion of Iris and social workers Marchella was hardly going to be impressed that she was following in her mother's footsteps.

"Oh, that's nice, I suppose. Where does she work?"

"My mother passed away when I was young."

"I'm sorry. What about your Dad? What does he do?"

"He was a Zoologist. He's not around either." Iris added quietly and she felt Colton's hand on her leg and it was nice that he was trying to let her know he was right there.

"Oh, remarried?" Marchella didn't get Colton's glare or chose to ignore it. "Colton's father certainly didn't take long to move on."

"No…" Iris snapped. "…they died together in a car accident when I was three." She pushed her chair back suddenly and excused herself.

"You just can't fucking help yourself can you?" Colton was furious.

"You should have told me."

He couldn't believe she was seriously trying to make this his fault. "Why? Would it have made you more human?" Colton seethed. "It's up to Iris to tell people and she shouldn't have to tell you just so that you are nice to her. How about you just try being fucking nice? I know it's a struggle for you."

"I didn't know, I'm sorry. You don't tell me anything."

Colton couldn't sit there; he slid his chair back and seethed at his mother. "I'm going to check on Iris. Maybe you can take a minute and see if you can figure out a way to apologise without sounding like a complete bitch."

He caught her coming out of the bathroom and steered her out of the way into a quiet area but he knew his mother was watching them. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry that was stupid."

"It wasn't stupid, she was being a bitch. I'm sorry Iris, I shouldn't have made you do this." Colton kissed her forehead. "I just really like you and I want my family to like you."

"You are sweet. Don't worry about it. We are okay, aren't we?"

"I really hope so." Slipping an arm around her shoulder he asked her if she was sure she wanted to go back. He wouldn't blame her if she wanted to leave and right now he'd go with her. Iris assured him that she wasn't going to let it get to her. She was better than that.

"You owe me big time later on and I intend to make you pay."

"Can't wait." He held Iris's hand all the way back to the table to make a point to his mother. Iris wasn't going anywhere.

Iris apologised for leaving the table so rudely. It pissed Colton off a little that Iris was apologising but he let it go. "It's still a bit hard sometimes."

"After all this time? Colton didn't tell me." She was seriously still trying to make this her son's fault and Iris glanced at him when she felt him tense up beside her. It was hardly an apology and what they hell was the crack about after all this time when she still hung onto every detail about Sophie.

"It's not really something that I like to bring up. Oh hi, I'm Iris my parents are dead." Colton was starting to love this girl; she was like a piece of steel. She wasn't taking his mother's shit and he liked that. "I guess you don't just randomly tell people about Sophie either do you?"

"Colton obviously told you."

Iris rested her hand on his thigh when she felt he was going to explode. "He did, we hadn't being dating long and I told him about my parents and he shared his past with me also. I think that's why we get along so well, both of us had childhoods we'd rather forget."

Colton smiled just a little when Marchella looked like she'd been slapped. Iris had shut her down brutally and it turned him on a little and when they got home Colton certainly let her know that her performance had gotten him more than a little bit excited. "What do you want me to do about it?" Iris teased him, running a hand up his inside leg.

"Let me screw you?"

Iris threw her head back and laughed. "You owe me, big time."

"What's the deal then?"

Iris stood on tiptoes and whispered in his ear and he grabbed her around the waist, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. "Your wish is my command."

Along with all the things they liked about each other, the sex was mind blowing. They just had it, they couldn't put their finger on why they worked so well but they didn't really care, they just enjoyed themselves and ignored everything outside of their control.

Her meeting with his father went much better. Will and Lucy were lovely. They actually took an interest in Iris and made her feel welcome in their home. It was a few weeks after she had met Marchella and Colton let things settle a little after that. He wanted to take the sting out of it and prove to Iris that he didn't care what his mother thought about her and that Iris shouldn't take it personally. Marchella hadn't liked any of his girlfriends and had done her best to sabotage most of his relationships.

"This is a nice surprise Colt." He hadn't told his Dad he was bringing Iris over.

"I thought it was about time I bought Iris over to meet the normal side of the family." He introduced her to his Dad and step-mother.

"Ahhhh, she met your mother?" Will laughed. "It's nice to meet you Iris. I hope my boy is being a gentleman?" Iris liked them so far, she had been nervous despite Colton telling her they were nothing like his mother. "Feel free to tell me the truth."

"Oh, he's doing okay. Opens doors for me, pulls chairs out all the gentlemanly stuff."

"At least Iris is dressed this time. She met Mom when she dropped in unannounced and we were getting ready to go for a swim."

"Skinny Dip?"

"No, I had clothes on. You make it sound like I was naked."

"Not one of those held on with gaffer tape type bikinis all the young kids wear?" His Dad asked.

"I was suitably covered." Iris enjoyed the little banter. It felt a bit more like what she was used to at home. "I wish you'd stop telling that story." He had been amused when she came out dressed in a long sleeved dress obviously to hide her tattoo's. His Dad wouldn't care.

"Nope. It's a good story and Dad expects nothing less from the meeting of Marchella."

"It wasn't so bad." Iris laughed. "I've seen what my family do to newcomers, that was nothing."

Colton was eagerly awaiting the family introduction; he was ready for it. Iris made it sound awful so he told her he was just imagining being stuck at sea, in a cabin on a cruise ship with his mother and a bad case of gastro so dinner with her family would be a walk in the park.

It turned out that Mae had announced her pregnancy the night he came to meet them and that took the heat off him momentarily. The following week he got a full frontal assault and teased mercilessly about his love of spreadsheets. He also got to hear a wildly entertaining about Iris and how she made her sister's spew when she shat in the bath. Their whole world revolved around this 'failed vasectomy' that night and he really liked how happy Iris looked. He was more than a little smitten.


	31. Party Time

"Hi." Iris jumped at the voice behind her.

"Oh…crap." She muttered as she dropped her phone, he bent down to pick it up before she had the chance. "Xavier, Hi. Thank you."

"I was hoping to catch you today." He handed her back her phone and Iris swiped it to pay for her coffee.

She took a step to the side while she waited for her coffee order and to let the next person step up to the counter. "How are you?"

"I'm good."

"Great. Did you get that assignment done? It was a doozy." Xavier was only taking a couple of classes the same as Iris. He was doing criminology and some of the social work subjects were relevant to him.

"Barely."

Iris grabbed her coffee when it was ready. "Okay, good to see you Xavier, catch you later."

"Hang on…" he fell into step beside her. He was a little taller than Iris and quite broad across the shoulders. His hair was blond, perhaps with a touch of red and he was good looking but not someone Iris would normally be attracted to. He was a little clumsy and kind of loped around.

Colton was more her type, now anyway. He was tall, kept himself very fit, had dark hair and a quick easy smile. He held himself together well and Iris felt comfortable with him from the moment she met him, there was an instant attraction and spark between them. They fitted together well.

He wasn't her usual type though, up until she met him. All her boyfriends had been a little more rough around the edges, liked to party and lived life to the fullest. While she was living it she liked it but she didn't miss that crazy life, she was done with it, it was fun while it lasted but now she liked the life she was living with Colton, she enjoyed the crowd away from college that they spent time with.

"…I'm having a party next weekend, a late birthday party. There are quite a few coming, you should come."

"Thanks for the invite but I can't make it sorry." Iris shrugged and saw the faintest flicker of disappointment on his face which he hid quickly. "I am away that weekend."

"Dirty weekend?"

Iris snorted. "Hardly. I'm going away with my brother. He has a thing on in San Fran for work. I've never been so I can't wait."

Alfie had been invited to the opening of a new Rhino Exhibit and it was Ada's grandchild that was going to be the first resident. Even if they wanted to get away from their Dad's legacy they couldn't and this wasn't so much work related as the MACI Foundation business. They still had a position on the board and were involved in decisions and attended events like this one; Alfie was currently on the board and Iris would get her turn eventually.

It wasn't a chore though; it was always nice to see the work their Dad did still meant something to someone. When he got the invite he asked Iris to come with him. He wanted to share it with someone and he always had fun with Iris and now that she could legally drink they'd had some good nights out. It was also time for her to get a bit more involved in the Foundation in preparation for her turn on the board.

His face twisted into a small smile. "Well that's a bummer."

Iris reached her building. "I'm sure you'll have a hoot. Have fun." She waved goodbye and almost skipped away.

"Ready Bug?" Alfie was waiting impatiently. "We need to go."

"Yeah, yeah." She sauntered downstairs and kissed Pops goodbye. "Behave. No ladies in the house."

"Go away. I want some peace and quiet." He grumbled. It was unlikely he'd get any peace and quiet. Mae already had his whole weekend planned and as long as that involved his little Poppy he'd be happy.

"So what's Colton doing this weekend?" Alfie finally stopped being annoyed with his sister for running late. He was a stickler for keeping time and Iris was a lot more fluid with it. They were like chalk and cheese in that regard. He was more like Lola and Mae flicked between the two depending on how important it was to her.

"Counting money and getting all excited over a spreadsheet." He did tell her but it went in one ear and out the other. When he started on about spreadsheets and budgets Iris zoned out. _'I can see your lips moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah' _she often told him. It had amused him to find out that she owned property and was well taken care of but Iris insisted she knew nothing about it, that her parents set all that up and her Uncle looked after it for her. Gus had more than fulfilled his promise to their parents, they were well set up for the future.

"He does love counting shit." Alfie could just imagine him sitting at home with all his spreadsheets. He really did like the guy, he liked that he loved his job, was dedicated and worked hard and didn't mind the ribbing they gave him about his joy over spreadsheets and he was good for his Bug, who was a loose cannon up until she settled down a little with Colton. He wasn't a stick in the mud but he did have the ability to rein her in.

"That he does."

"How's College going?"

"Pretty good. Had this monster assignment due last week for that psychology class that I took, the lecturer is nuts." Iris told him about it, how she stressed about for weeks and probably went overboard but was happy with her work. She was pretty dedicated to her study; she was a lot like Lola in that regard. Alfie didn't work hard at school but he found he didn't need to which pissed off both of his older sisters. He just had the knack, he got things and always got good marks with minimal effort. "Another few weeks and we start sliding into vacation mode."

"You going to the Beach House?"

"Hopefully, I want to go up for a couple of weeks. Colton will probably come up on the weekend."

"Ahhhh….young love."

"Speaking of which, what's going on Alfie?'

"I am saving myself for marriage." Alfie winked at his sister and she just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah whatever. What happened to Larissa?"

"Bug, I haven't been seeing her for like two months. Where have you been?" Alfie wasn't surprised that Iris had no idea what was going on with him because nothing had changed for him, he still went out and he rarely bought Larissa around anyway, Adam didn't like her, _'cold as a witches tit'_ he'd told Alfie. Apparently Pops wasn't sure if she actually had a personality outside of the two on her chest. He didn't have a great track record with girlfriends, he was still in his shallow stage.

"You never tell me anything."

"You were too busy bumping uglies with the stallion."

"Please don't call him that. Why'd you break up with Larissa? Humour me, pretend you haven't told me before…." Iris hated it when Alfie called Colt a stallion, she had no idea why she hated it, nicknames in this family were common place but she hated the stallion for some reason. "…oh wait, you didn't."

"I was getting the feeling she was a little batshit crazy."

"How so? More than you?"

Alfie scoffed. "Yes, so obviously that was like next level. She started talking about marriage and shit, and become a bit of a clinger. I went to Barney's bucks night and she called me eight times."

"Maybe she just missed you?"

"Nope, she just wanted to tell me she loved me and remind me not to get too drunk and then she smelled my clothes when I got home to make sure I hadn't been too close to another woman."

"Did you?"

"Fuck you…." Alfie cracked back at her. "…is that what you think of me? You know she thinks I talk to you and Lola and Mae too much, thinks it's weird. Thinks there is something creepy going on."

"Well fuck her then, glad you dumped her." It probably was weird but they weren't going to change now. They'd been four heartbroken kids who had always clung to each other to survive. You either got on board or got the ass.

While Iris had Instagram her account was private but Alfie was all over it. He loved promoting what he did and all the crazy stuff he got up to with his job. His private life wasn't really much to write home about so he rarely posted anything. Perhaps it was a hangover from their Dad not really putting them out there. He did however post a selfie of himself and Iris at the airport, although her face was obscured a little as she turned her head quickly as he took it and it was blurred. _Time to fly with my Bug…San Fran here we come…#RhinoLove #DadsLegacy #AdaHasAGrandbaby #SiblingLove #brotherandsister #wishmeluck #Bug #MACI #MACIFoundation #BraveHearts_

By the time they got off the plane at the other end he was surprised to see a few comments about Iris on his post that he should post an unblurred photo of her because this person knew how hot she was. It was creeping him out a little, especially as they were all from the same person. Iris had also commented as soon as he posted.. _Wish ME luck.._ and now had a follow request from the same person. Alfie had a DM from him also asking him to tell his sister to follow him.

"Who the fuck is that Bug?" He looked at it and felt his hair stand up on the back of his neck. This is why they had always kept things on the down low. The comment that disturbed him the most was the comment about Alfie's post of him holding Iris's hand in the tattoo parlour, you couldn't see her face but it did show a bit of her body, nothing too revealing but you could see it was a female body. He didn't tell Iris about it, he just deleted it. The comment was about how he couldn't wait to see that tattoo up close when he got his hands on her sweet body.

Iris looked a little disturbed. "I think it's a guy from College I've chatted to him a few times and he invited me to his birthday party this weekend. Like I know him but he's not really a friend." She checked out his page and it was definitely Xavier. "If I see him I talk to him but I don't go out of my way to catch up."

"What does Colt think?"

"I don't think I've even told him." She shrugged. "Why would I? He's just a person I got to college with, no big deal. I talk to plenty of people."

"Don't accept his request." Alfie warned her.

"Why not?"

"I've got a vibe Bug. Just don't do it okay." Alfie was always going to look out for his little sister. He'd done it since the day she was born, that wasn't changing any time soon. Alfie also knew that Colton wouldn't be happy either, not with some of the comments. Hopefully he hadn't seen them before he deleted them. They wouldn't call Colton jealous or controlling but he didn't love other guys drooling over her either. Iris didn't enjoy girls flirting with him either.

"Okay." She shrugged, Iris trusted her brother; he was pretty laid back most of the time and never really told her what to do. If he did, she listened. "Like he's not really a friend anyway."

Alfie shuddered at the thought of him creeping all over Iris's account. Not that she was bad, but there were photos of her having fun, going out, getting dressed up. She was a young beautiful girl who loved having a good time, there were also photos of her with Colton and if his gut was right this guy wouldn't like that. And there was that photo of her with her tattoo completed. He was grateful that Iris kept a pretty tight handle on who accessed her account though, if she didn't know someone she didn't accepted their requests.

Iris loved coming to these events. Since she turned sixteen she had gone to the Brave Hearts Ball and last year had given the welcome address for the first time. It was right up her alley and she loved it. Adam made his last appearance to hear Iris speak and she did an amazing job.

She didn't have to talk this time; Alfie would do that. They were shown the new exhibit before it was officially opened and got to meet Ada's Grandson, Kahari and his keepers. Kahari's mother was Ada's last baby, Rosa. They had some photos taken for some promotion for the Zoo and then had dinner with the Managing Director of the San Francisco Zoo and some benefactors. Both Alfie and Iris knew how to handle these things, they'd all been doing them for years. It amazed them constantly that people still remembered their Dad.

One surprise for them was meeting the lead keeper. His name was Mason Reynolds. "I meet your Dad at a conference and he took me under his wing, he offered me a spot on his team to go to do some harvesting in Kenya and it was an amazing experience. I love looking after Ada's grandson."

"It must freak you out a little that this is her grandson?" Alfie loved talking about these animals and Iris just listened, perhaps only being around her Dad for such a short space of time she didn't have the passion for the animals that Alfie did and even Lola and Mae had more interest in it than her, she just loved the stories about her Dad, wherever they came from.

"It does, it freaks me out more that you were about 6 months old at the time I met your Dad."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I didn't get to catch up with your Dad much after that, we talked a bit on the phone and I was always in contact with him when he was in Australia, he would always answer my questions."

"He was pretty passionate about all this. I think he'd been chuffed to know that it's still going on, and no doubt that you are looking after Kahari."

"Your Dad was my inspiration. I always think of him when they talk about how we bought Rhino's back from the brink, he worked so hard for that. You should be proud."

They were proud of their Dad, that would never change.

By the time they got back to the hotel Alfie had had enough. "Bug, I'm about to fucking snap." He had several messages from this Xavier via Instagram, all asking him to tell his sister to switch her account off private or accept his request. He had again commented on a photo Alfie had put up that had Iris in it. It was the one taken by the zoo and he thought he was doing the right thing by promoting it but the comments about Iris made him delete it. He put up another photo of just him and Kahari and he commented on that too, wanting to know where his sister was and telling him to put it back up. "This is starting to get fucking weird." Alfie didn't want to engage with him but he seriously needed to be told to fuck off. "I've blocked the asshole."

It upset Iris but she tried not to let it bother her, there was nothing she could do about it now. She didn't even have a contact number for him or know his surname. Colton had an inkling of her unease when he talked to her. "Don't let it ruin your weekend Bug." He told her. She'd told Colton about Alfie's warning about this guy.

"I am trying not too, Alfie is really excited to be here and this is just annoying him."

"It's not your fault." Colton didn't tell her that this guy had also been on his IG page and commented on photos of him with Iris. He had no idea who he was and he deleted them, he got a DM which he wished he'd never read and it wasn't until Iris filled him in that he put all the pieces together. It wasn't the first time that a guy had made sleazy comments about his girlfriend. Now that he knew it wasn't just random it was freaking him out a little but he didn't want to upset Iris any more than she was. Not when he wasn't around to help her. He trusted her brother to do that though.

"I know." Iris changed the subject. "Hey I miss you. What you been up too?"

Colton told her about this weekend so far, he'd been out with his buddies to a game, had a few too many drinks and caught up on some work. He was having dinner with his mother tonight for her birthday. "Say happy birthday for me." Iris laughed. "I am sure she is devastated that I am not there?"

"She is, almost cancelled the whole shebang because you aren't here." Colton chuckled. He didn't really care that his mother didn't like Iris, she didn't have to like her and he knew she'd be happy that Iris wasn't coming with him. "Hey have a good night, try and stay tidy and keep Alfie in one piece."

Colton asked Alfie to give him a call when Iris wasn't around to hear and he called when Iris went out for a run. He wasn't happy. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Chill Dude, I don't know. Bug says he's a guy form College, she knows him but isn't friends. He asked her to a party this weekend apparently."

"I'm not happy."

"She's not sneaking around behind your back Colton."

"I know that." Colton just about bit Alfie's head off. "…he left a message on a few of my photos of Bug and sent me a DM telling me that they are hooking up and that she's a fucking great lay and that she sucks dick like a vacuum cleaner."

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah, right. Seriously the guy is pissing me off." Colton was more than a little annoyed. "I know right now I am glad she is with you in San Fran but what happens next week? What do I do?"

Alfie needed to talk him down from the ledge. He liked Colton and they got on really well and he really loved Iris and treated her well. She'd had the obligatory dickhead or two but this guy was straight up and down. He trusted Iris, he cared about her and gave her room to breathe and he also looked after her. "Don't go do something stupid. He might just have been drunk or some shit and may regret it tomorrow. Bug reckons he seems normal. Maybe he's just into stirring up shit for shits and giggles, see if we respond." Having them both freaking out wouldn't do anyone any good. Right now Iris was on the other side of the country and away from this guy.

"Maybe."

"Let's just see what happens when we get back. Maybe he's just fishing for a bite." Alfie knew how not to engage trolls. He'd had plenty with Animal Activists giving him constant grief but he learnt to just delete the comments, not engage with them and eventually they moved on. They do it for a reaction and he hoped this dick was the same.

"Look after Bug." With everything that happened with Mae they were all on edge a little bit.

"Hey, Colt. That's my job." Alfie assured him. "Being doing it a long time."

Iris didn't want Alfie and Colton to worry. They hadn't said anything to anyone else and she appreciated that. Alfie tried to talk to her about it but she insisted she was fine and could handle it. She promised that she would be careful and let him know if she was worried about this guy, she was convinced that Xavier was just drunk and doing stupid shit and if he confronted her about it she'd tell him to back off and that would be it.

Colton was a bit more on edge about it. He called her as soon as he had the chance when she went back to College. "How's your day?"

"Baby, I'm having a good day."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, please don't stress out. I will see you tonight. Are you coming for dinner?"

"I have a late meeting."

"Come over later, I want to see you." Iris, despite pretending she was fine was feeling a little unsettled.

"Like see me, see me?" He chuckled suggestively. "I could do that."

"You saw me last night, all of me..."

"Never enough, Bug, never enough."

Suddenly a coffee appeared in front of her and she jumped as she looked up at Xavier. He smiled at her strangely. "How was your weekend?"

"Great. It was good to get away for a bit." It took all her energy not to get up and run. He was making her nervous but Alfie had told her to appear like she didn't know anything or mention anything until he did. "How was your party?"

"Fun, you missed a fun night."

She couldn't sit there much longer and grabbed her bag off the back of the chair, threw her book into it but kept her phone in her hand. Standing up she was a little flustered when Xavier just watched her, he leant over and picked up the coffee and handed it to her. "Sorry, I've already had one today, I am trying to cut back." Iris shook her head. "Thanks anyway."

"Why?"

"I just had too much on the weekend, I need a break."

"One won't kill you, going cold turkey might." He was still holding the cup out of her and Iris reluctantly took it and thanked him for it.

As she walked away she dropped it in the first trashcan she could find. There was no way she was drinking anything he gave her. Call her paranoid but that's what happens when you grow up around cops.

It was late and Iris was watching TV alone, Pops had already gone to bed when Colton arrived. Alfie was working, they had a very pregnant Hippo who they were expecting to have twins any day now. Until the Hippo delivered they had a senior ZooKeeper and Vet on site twenty-four seven. "Hey beautiful Bug." He let himself in and dropped his bag on the floor. "What you watching?" He flopped down beside her and took the cup of tea from her hand, gave her a kiss and took a mouthful.

"Shitty home reno show."

"Getting ideas?" He handed the cup back. "How was the rest of the day?"

"Good."

"And?"

"Nothing, I bumped into him, he asked about the weekend, if I had a good time and that was it."

Colton draped him arm over her knee and gently ran his fingers up and down her leg. "You okay?" Having him here was instantly comforting.

"I am, maybe it was someone else, or he was drunk or stoned. I don't know." She shrugged. "He did buy me a coffee."

"Nice of him."

"I didn't drink it." Iris rolled her head to the side and winked at him. "I only take coffees from good looking guys with nice smiles." Iris loved that was how they met, in a coffee shop on Campus. Colton paid for her coffee, telling her he was just paying it forward as she struggled to find her wallet in her bag. He didn't hang around long enough for Iris to even ask his name. It was a week later she saw him again at the same coffee shop and Iris bought him a coffee. _'To return the favour.' _She handed him the coffee_ 'I'm Iris, in case you were wondering.'_

It was slow going, Iris had just come out of a relationship, which hadn't last long but she was wary and they started talking a little more, alternating between buying each other coffees until Colton got the courage and invited her out for lunch.

"Lucky for me." He squeezed her leg. "Hey? How interested are you in this home reno thing?"

"I'm just killing time until you hit on me."

Colton grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. "Righto.. let's go." He finished the rest of her tea that she handed him and she waited while he rinsed the cup in the sink. If they left it on the table Adam would lose his shit in the morning. He was getting OCD in his old age.

Iris had blown him away. He'd never seen her before the day he paid for the coffee and he had later admitted he only did it because she was holding up the queue and he had some place to be. When she turned around and thanked him he was a bit gobsmacked. However he was in a rush and a completely different head space that day and hadn't thought about her again until she bought him a cup of coffee and introduced herself.

Conscious of appearing too forward or being taken the wrong way he held back and enjoyed the little back and forth they had going on until Iris had dropped enough hints to let him know she wouldn't say no to getting to know him better, so they had lunch.

She asked him a million questions, talked a little about herself and they left it at that. They'd shared a few texts back and forth but exams got in the way and it wasn't until they both ended up at a party together a couple of weeks later that he made a move. They holed up in a quiet corner and chatted away ignoring the rest of the party around them.

When he asked her to catch up the next day he was already smitten. He made sure Iris was well aware of how interested he was, his kiss while he waited with her after she'd called her Uber home was not quite sweet, it left her a little breathless.

"Tell me something about you that would shock me?" Colton had playfully asked her the next day, not expecting it to go where it did.

"I was orphaned when I was three years old."

That threw him for a loop and he had no idea what to say. Luckily Iris filled the silence and made it less awkward. She really had no idea why she even told him that.

"My parents were killed in a car accident when I was three, I don't remember them. I was raised by my grandparents."

"Wow." He sat back a little. He was completely shocked, that wasn't at all what he was expecting. "Wow. I don't know what to say."

Iris shrugged. "It is what it is. I was raised by my Mom's parents, there are four of us, two older sisters, Lola and Mae and a brother, Alfie. I was the youngest and I still live with my Pops who is in his 90's."

"Here I was thinking it was going to be something like you were bought home in the back of a Police Car when you were sixteen."

"I've been in a lot of Police cars."

"Rebelled?" Colton was fascinated. He found her mesmerising as she talked.

"No, my Uncle is a cop. My Pops was a cop as was my grandmother."

"And what did you parents do? Cops too?"

"No, my Mom would never have dated a cop, she hated that job, thought it was too dangerous. Pops was in this Unit that did a shitload of undercover work, it was really hairy and Mom hated it. She looked after us but also did a lot of work for a charity and worked at BraveHearts Foundation, she was a Social Worker originally. My Dad was a Zoologist, he was an African animal specialist and managed captive breeding programs. We lived in Australia, where he opened an Open Range Zoo and that's where I was born, in Australia. We were back here on holiday when the accident happened."

"So you are an Aussie?"

"Technically yes."

Colton really had no idea what to say. "I am sorry about your parents." He touched her hand lightly. "I know it was a long time ago but I can't imagine that."

"I had no idea what was going on. Apparently I asked about them every day for a few weeks then I just stopped. My sisters and brother remember them."

"Are you close to them?"

"My family?" Iris wasn't sure if he was asking about her parents or siblings. He nodded. "Insanely close. It's freaked a few guys out." Iris pulled out her phone and showed him a photo. She never shied away from her past like Lola and Mae had the tendency to do and for some reason she felt really comfortable with Colton. The photo was of the four of them taken at Lola's wedding at the zoo, under their tree, hand in hand looking up to the sky. It was one of her favourite photos.

"Why?"

"I don't know, I mean they are my best friends. I guess we can get a little intense when we are all together, it gets a bit crazy." She waved her hands a little. "They can be a little overprotective at times."

Colton felt at ease with Iris and he told her about his family, and how dysfunctional his childhood had been and Iris felt bad for him. "I mean it was shitty not having Mom and Dad, I know Lola, Mae and Alfie struggled more than me but I couldn't imagine not having any of them around or having all that shit go down."

"It was ugly and Mom was heartbroken, still is. She has grandchildren that she never sees, I hate what it did to Mom and to Dad, they literally can't stand to be in the same room anymore. Dad's remarried and his wife Lucy is great; Mom hates her, she's bitter and twisted about everything." He shrugged. "I don't know any different. We don't have a great relationship."

"Who? You and your Mom?"

Colton nodded.

"Does that bother you?"

"At times, yeah it does but you know nothing ever changes and eventually that just wears you down." Iris couldn't really get what he meant by that. "My Mom doesn't change. I just try and deal with it but she makes things hard."

"What things?" Iris was fascinated and she wasn't even sure why. Perhaps because it was so different to her life. Other people's upbringing intrigued her because she knew hers wasn't normal, not since she turned three but she was trying to figure out what was normal. Maybe normalcy was a fantasy, something that no one ever achieved.

Colton shrugged sadly. "Let's just say, she doesn't think anyone is good enough for me. She thinks I'm going to be lead down a dark path and end up like Sophie."

"But you're not like her, are you?"

"I am like anti-Sophie." Colton assured her. "I guess it's just fear and anger on her part. I just try and minimise the damage."

"Do you want me to lead you down a path?" Iris loved flirting and they had flirted heavily right from the start.

Colton leant in, just close enough to make Iris's heart flutter. "Yes."

Eventually they moved on from talking about their families and the flirty banter was sweet for a while but Iris wanted more and after the first couple of dates they jumped feet first into a relationship, although initially it was more about the sex than anything and that was perfectly fine with both of them. When they were in a bar having a few drinks Iris leant over and whispered in his ear…_'we should get out of here, like now._' In case Colton wasn't sure what Iris was hinting at she ran her hand up his thigh, stopping just short of her prize. It was wild for a while but they got hot and heavy and it didn't take long until they both settled into a more stable relationship.

Iris certainly loved Colton's attention. He was very adept and always seemed to know if they needed to take the shackles off and when someone needed a little sweet love. Tonight, Iris needed some sweet love, just like she did last night when they got home from San Francisco. Perhaps this guy had rattled her more than she was willing to admit and she sought comfort from Colton and he had strong arms to wrap her up in and Iris made sure she burrowed into him again tonight. He didn't mind, he adored this girl.

Adam wasn't surprised to see Colton the next morning. They were both early risers, which was everything that Iris was not. Often they had a coffee together in the morning before Colton left for work or home depending if he had clothes with him for work. "You should just move in." Adam muttered as he shuffled around the kitchen. Colton had also learnt to sit back and let Adam make the coffee. He was very particular about it and if someone tried to help he'd tell them, in no uncertain terms, that he wasn't dead yet.

"Not sure Bug will agree."

"Pffttt, doesn't know what she wants. Anyway it's not her house. I think you should move in; you are here half the time anyway." Adam bought him his cup, his hands shaking a little. "I'm used to having people around."

"Let's see what Bug says."

"You don't want to move in with her?" Adam growled unexpectedly. "You just using her for sex."

"Hey Pops…" Adam had always insisted that all their partners call him Pops, Riley did it, George did it and after about a year of having Colton around Adam asked him to call him Pops too. Colton stopped him before he continued on a rant he wasn't sure he wanted to hear at 6am. "…Love that girl, she's got my undivided attention. I'd live with her in a heartbeat."

"And her grumpy old Pops."

Colton chuckled. "He's not so grumpy, just loves his Bug."

He took Iris up a cup of coffee before he left. Setting it down beside her, she was still fast asleep so he watched her for a bit. He was mulling over Adam's offered, of course it wasn't up to him, it had to be Iris's choice but he could see himself living with her. Living with her Pops, that was unexpected but he was getting old and he knew Iris hated not being around. If Alfie was out or working Iris was always at home. This week she wouldn't stay at his place at all because Pops would be home alone and he really didn't mind. He just wasn't quite sure what Iris would think about Pop's offer.

He tucked some hair back over her shoulder and bent down to give her a kiss goodbye. "See you tonight Bug."

Iris muttered something sleepily, she was the most anti-morning person he had ever met. If she needed to be out the door at 730am she'd sleep until 715. Leaping out of bed at the last minute, she showered in three minutes, tied her hair up, rarely worried about make-up and threw on some clothes and was ready to go. He really loved that she didn't wear make-up all day every day. She didn't need it to be beautiful but when she did go all out she was an absolute stunner in his opinion. He as a lucky guy.

She called him on her way to College, she was of course running late. "Hey, I missed you this morning?"

"I bought you coffee."

"Yeah but I wanted a cuddle."

"You need to tell me these things some days."

"I always want to cuddle you in the morning."

"We cuddled good and proper last night." Colton reminded her. "You seemed to like it, at least that's what you told me."

The first time they had sex, after Iris literally dragged him out of the bar it was wild, they didn't even get all their clothes off. They had scrambled back to his place, barely got through the door and clawed at each other, Iris helped him out of his jeans while all he had to do was hitch up her skirt and get her underwear off which took no time at all and it was hard and fast. Neither of them had time to savour it, they just fucked each other and they were both okay with that. The next time though, just an hour later they took their time, explored each other's body's, kissed and touched every part they could and it felt more intimate. They were addicted to each other.

"Is that what we are calling it? I have other words for it." Iris knew what she was doing, she loved teasing him when she knew he couldn't talk. "Do you want to hear some?"

"Okay, I'm at work so this conversation needs to stop." He cut her off quickly. "Have a good day Bug and I will see you tonight." He had things to discuss with her, before her Pops did. He was guessing that Adam hadn't said anything because Iris never mentioned it.

It did come up later that night when they were in bed. Iris had been a little off again, even though she hadn't seen Xavier that day Colton could tell she was stressed about it, she didn't really ever see him on Tuesday, tomorrow was a whole new day though because they had class together and he knew that would be playing on her mind. It wasn't the only thing she was stressed about. "So Pops asked you to move in?" Iris bought it up. "You haven't said anything?"

"I didn't know if Pops talked to you about it or not. I didn't want to discuss it earlier either, I don't want him to get involved."

"What does that mean?"

"It's between you and me Bug."

"You don't want to live here? With me?" He couldn't believe she was crying.

Colton rolled over on to his side and propped himself up, he rested a hand on her chest to calm her down. "I do Baby, please don't cry. I hate it."

"Sorry."

"No, I hate seeing you upset about this. This came out of the blue a little."

"I think Pops is scared of being alone, he figures if you stay here then I will stay too."

"What do you want?"

"I want you to stay here but I understand if you don't want to take on the responsibility of Pops too. It's a lot to ask."

Colton smiled and kissed her. "Let's do this. Let's be parents to a grumpy, recalcitrant 92 year old."

"I love you."

"Ahhh Bug, the feeling is mutual."

They still had to discuss it with Alfie, Lola and Mae and with Gus. It was only fair. He also insisted that they needed to work out rent and splitting the bills. He knew that Iris didn't pay anything, Adam refused to take money from her, especially since she only worked a couple of hours a week in a bookshop which she loved. It was just enough to pay her gas money and give her some spending money. She had a trust fund that covered her schooling fees and she did get rental income from her property that Gus had tenanted.

Colton wasn't freeloading though and if Adam didn't accept something then he wouldn't move in. He wanted to pay his way. So they came to an agreement before they talked to anyone else.

At the end of the day, what was best for Adam was best for everyone. If it meant that he'd always have someone around at night then everyone was happy with that. He wanted to stay in his home and this was the best way to do it. Colton promised he wasn't taking advantage of Adam or his generosity or Iris's either. It took a bit of pressure off all of them and particularly Iris because she worried about him every time she spent the night with Colton.

Iris never really complained about taking on the care of Adam. Everyone helped out. Gus and Rhiannon were always around. Mae saw him a few days a week and Lola did take care of him when she wasn't working. He loved seeing his great grandkids. If Iris wasn't around all she had to do was let someone know and they would check up on him.

Colton had always been amazed at how much this family looked out for each other, but he guessed they had no choice. A nice normal family, he had craved it for so long and while he never really remembered what that felt like, it was nice to be part of it again. They welcomed him, he treated their Bug well and respected Adam and as long as he did that he always had a place in the circus tent.


	32. FaceBook & Flowers

The flowers sat in the middle of the dining table. Adam had put them there when they arrived. There was no card but he liked the flowers in the house. Kim often bought flowers home. But he had rarely bought them for her, that just wasn't the way they were wired. She preferred he bought home donuts, chocolate, wine or just something he saw when he was out that made him think of her. That was much more romantic in her eyes. Flowers were a cop out; it was an easy way to say _'look I did something nice or I fucked up and I am sorry.' _It required no thought according to Kim and that suited Adam just fine.

The girls all loved flowers in the garden because their grandmother always had grown them and bought them inside but they didn't really enjoy getting them delivered. It reminded them of death, at least for Lola and Mae anyway and Iris just followed them.

George had sent Mae flowers a few times very early on but once she started actually dating him she told him not to bother. It was sweet but they reminded her of death. The house had been overflowing with flowers when MiMi died and for the older girls it bought back some terrible memories for them from their parent's death. George had always wooed women with flowers so it was an eye-opener for him, his mother loved getting them and he remembered her face lighting up every time Scott sent them to her but he was a quick learner and he really liked Mae and didn't want ruin that sweet thing he felt building between them.

Adam knew Iris wasn't going to love them, she'd like the flowers but not that Colton had wasted money sending them but he thought they were nice. He was getting soft in his old age. These reminded him of Kim and he'd been thinking about her a lot lately.

"Nice flowers Pops." Iris nodded at them as she put her bag down.

"They are for you." He loved the hug he got every day when she came home. His youngest granddaughter slipped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Did you have a good day Bug?"

"I did Pops." She leant over and looked for a card. "No card?"

"Nope. You need to train Colton better."

"I did have him trained. Must have done something pretty shitty." She chewed her lip. She didn't believe it, Colton wouldn't send her flowers, he never had before. "Wonder what he did, or where he's going?"

"Now, now Bug, maybe he just loves you?"

"He does Pops."

Iris sent him a message. _'What did you do?'_

_'__Well this makes sense?' _Colton was used to Iris's messages, strange as they were sometimes.

_'__Flowers?'_

_'__Like I'd waste my money sending you flowers? I'm smarter than that.'_

His phone rang. "Hey Bug. What's this about flowers?"

"The flowers you sent."

"Bug, it wasn't me. What does the card say?"

Right now this was not what she needed; she was still a little shaken from the weekend. She had seen Xavier today but he didn't even talk to her, not even a hello. He just ignored her which she found equally weird but a bit of a relief all the same. "There isn't one. Don't freak me out like this Colton, it's not a joke."

"Bug, I swear I didn't send them."

"Colton…." She whispered, her heart was racing at a million miles an hour and her palms were sweaty.

It took him a moment and then he got why she was freaking out. "Hey, hey, just breathe Bug. I'll be home soon and we will sort it out. What did Adam say? Who delivered them?"

"I haven't asked him. I thought they were from you so I didn't ask, he thinks they are from you too. He doesn't know anything and I am not telling him, he'll just worry."

He assured her that he'd be home soon. It wasn't even that he was jealous, he was just fucking angry. He really hoped there was a logical explanation for this but his gut was telling him it wasn't.

Iris was in the shower when he got home, she'd put dinner on before she headed upstairs. She was surprised to see him getting changed when she came out of the shower and he opened his arms wide and Iris snuggled into them. He kissed the top of her head and could feel how uncertain she was feeling. "Hey Baby." He nudged her gently. "Where is my kiss?" Iris turned her face upwards and welcomed his warm lips. "You okay?"

"Not really."

"They could be from anyone." He had to calm this down, even if he was worried. He hated seeing Iris upset and it would stress her out and that would make Adam worry. He would eventually pick up on it, he had an uncanny ability to read his granddaughter's moods. "They are just flowers."

"I know." Colton sat down on the bed while Iris finished getting dressed. "You know he completely ignored me today. I only saw him once and it was weird. I feel like this is a game to him, I don't like it."

"It feels weird but you said he mentioned nothing about the weekend and today he didn't even talk to you. Maybe we are way off base. Maybe it was a buddy and he's embarrassed?" Despite his own nerves being on edge about it he tried to keep Iris calm.

She chewed her bottom lip. "Maybe. Anyway, I don't want Pops to worry so can we drop it."

It was hard to ignore when the flowers sat in middle of the table. Adam liked them, he told Iris it reminded him of MiMi and she didn't have the heart to get rid of them when all she wanted to do was bin them. Colton did at least take note of the name of the florist but in all likelihood they were ordered online and there would be no way to track them, legally. He kept it just in case though.

They decided to ignore it. Even if Xavier approached her the best thing to do was not confront him about it because then he would know she was worried about it. Colton reminded her not to even ask if he sent flowers. He didn't know if it was the right thing to do, he wanted to talk to Gus about it but Iris insisted it was too early to worry about it. He hadn't done anything wrong.

"Still off coffee?" Xavier finally spoke to her a few days later.

"I am. Can't say I miss it."

"You are not jetting off for the weekend."

"Nope, cruisy weekend, catch up on some sleep." Iris wasn't quite sure how calm she sounded but she did her best. Even when he sat down at her table. Colton had asked her to make sure she wasn't alone if she could help it. Right now though she was waiting for her friend Lou who was running late so she had no choice but to sit it out. "What about you?"

"Sadly I'm working."

"Gotta pay the bills somehow?" Iris was usually great at chit chat, but now she was almost tongue tied.

"Do you work?"

"Yeah a little bit." She was trying to give as little information as possible. She was wary about anything and everything she said.

"Where do you work?"

Thankfully she spied Lou rushing through the door. "Hi.." she flopped down in the spare chair. "..sorry I am late." Iris had talked to her about her weird experiences with Xavier and Lou had seen some of his comments on Alfie's Instagram. Louisa had been Iris's friend for a few years and knew the family quite well, they loved her whirlwind personality, she was even crazier than Iris was. She hated being called Louisa though and everyone knew her as Lou, or LouLou. She was happy to run interference and was sorry she was late. "…the lecturer just wouldn't shut up. Hi…" she turned to Xavier. "…I'm Lou." Shoving her hand towards him. "and you are?"

One thing Lou would never be accused of is being backwards in coming forwards. She did everything at a million miles an hour. Whether she could keep everything Iris told her straight was yet to be seen. Iris had asked her not to ask about Colton, like she always did, or mention her family. "What the fuck can I say?"

"Talk about yourself, you are good at that." Iris laughed at the look Lou had shot her. "That's what I love about you."

Xavier was obviously getting annoyed with the interruption. He started to fidget and when Lou kept asking question after question he started to get shorter with his answers until he finally declared that he had to go and left. "See you soon Iris." He spat out, clearly pissed and Iris did worry that they'd poked the bear.

"Okay…." Lou breathed out. "…weird guy Bug. Very weird."

"I know right? It's not just me is it?"

"Nope. My Spidey senses are tingling." Lou told her straight out. "What does Colt think about this?"

"Unimpressed."

He was even less impressed when Lou sent her a message that night telling her that she had some sleazy comments on her Instagram on photos about Iris. "Fuck this…" Colton seethed. "…this needs to stop Bug."

"I know."

"Let's talk to Gus."

"No."

"Come on Iris, someone is going to get hurt and by fuck am I going to stand by and let it be you." He was struggling to understand why Iris was so reluctant to do anything about it. "Remember what happened when George decided to keep things to himself, Mae ended up copping it."

"That's not the same thing." Iris argued and Colton even went as far as accusing her of liking the attention. That went down like a lead balloon and the argument had been ugly. Colton had apologised profusely and had to do some serious back pedalling. His voice was shaking and she had forgiven him. He just couldn't get his head around the fact that she had this family that would do anything to protect her and she was railing against that.

Iris argued that she could handle it and they had tried to ignore it and that perhaps that wasn't the best way to handle it. "I will tell him to back off and if he doesn't then we will talk to Gus."

He wasn't sure and offered to go with her but Iris insisted she had to do it herself but she did promise that she wouldn't see him alone. She'd make sure people were around and she'd make sure that Lou or one of her other friends was always with her.

Iris didn't see him for a week and started to relax.

Strolling towards her car, Iris was checking her phone. Mae had sent her the obligatory photos of Poppy as she had played with Sam today and the photos were cute. The videos she sent made her smile and she promised to catch up with Mae on the weekend, she missed her little Poppy.

As soon as she opened the door of her car she saw it. A rose on the dash and the contents of her glovebox on the front seat.

"Shit…" Iris jumped at the voice behind her. "…someone broke in? Did they take anything? And they left a calling card. That's a little creepy right?"

Colton felt his phone buzzing in his pocket but he couldn't get to it right now. He was in the middle of a presentation on the quarterly budget projection and it was the first time he had been asked to do it. His phone stopped and then started again. The third time it rang he got distracted. "Something the matter?" His boss, Jo asked him.

"Ah, not sure."

Javid Singh looked annoyed. "Do you want to get it?" Even though the CFO offered Colton knew enough about this guy to know it would be a career limiting move to take a phone call in the middle of a presentation. Even his boss was subtle in her head shake.

"No, my apologies." He reached into his pocket and turned it off and refocused on the presentation.

It nagged at him though and his heart was in his throat when he saw four missed calls from Iris and three text messages. "Problems?" he swung around and came face to face with the CFO, Javid in the hallway after the presentation.

"Perhaps."

"Nice presentation, very impressive."

"Thank you. I really am enjoying the challenge of this role." He'd moved sideways into a different finance department with a different focus. His aim was to get as much experience in all facets of the business as he could.

Javid tapped his phone when it rang again. "Someone really wants to talk to you."

"My partner, she's having some issues with a strange guy at college, she's being stalked." He felt like he had to explain. He didn't want Javid to think he was more interested in his girlfriend than his job.

"Take the call." He walked away.

"Bug? Are you okay?" Iris answered on the first ring.

"Can you come home?" She sobbed.

"Bug? What's happened? Is it Pops?"

"No, no my car was broken into and someone left a rose on my dash. He was there, when I found my car he was there." He struggled to understand her between the gasping breaths, she was beside herself.

"Fuck Iris." He barked, trying to get her to slow down and then regretted it. "Please Bug, breathe baby, please. Where are you? Who is with you?"

"I'm at home, nobody is here. Pops is with Lola today and I didn't want to worry him." She was jumping at shadows and every little noise terrified her. He knew where she lived, he knew she was shaken and it was freaking her out. Colton wanted her to go to Gus's or Mae's house but she was paralysed by fear and refused to leave her home.

Colton knocked on his boss's office door. It was the last thing he wanted to do but the only thing he could do. "I'm really sorry but I need to go."

"The phone calls."

"Yes. Look I'm sorry, Iris is being hassled by someone, it's kind of getting to stalking level. Her car was broken into today and this guy was there when she found it, he knows where she lives and she's at home alone."

Jo had met Iris a few times, she liked her. She was a nice girl and Colton didn't talk about her a lot but when he did he talked quite highly of her, she wasn't an over anxious demanding partner, despite being young and she didn't hassle him constantly or call him every hour. She seemed level headed when she had met her and she had been fascinated to talk to her about the BraveHearts foundation and her role with them. They didn't do a lot but all of them were involved in some way. Jo was going to assume if they were worried there was a reason for it. One thing she did ensure was that even though this job demanded a lot of time and focus, family always came first. "Go." She waved him away. "I hope Iris is okay. Let me know if there is anything we can do."

She flew out the door as soon as she saw his car and he barely got out before Iris flung herself at him. "Hey, Hey.." He held her tightly. "…I am here now. Let's go inside." Colton tugged on her arm. "Pops still not home?"

"No they will be back soon."

Sitting Iris down on the couch he held her hands, trying to stop them shaking, she look terrified. "What happened Bug?"

"It's stupid. I think I overreacted."

"Bullshit. Tell me?"

"I haven't seen him in a week and then today he was just there. I walked towards my car and when I got there, the window was broken and this rose was on the dash, it freaked me out, then I opened the door and all my shit was on the front seat, from the glovebox. He was right there, like peering over my shoulder." She covered her face with both hands, rubbing them angrily a few times and groaning.

Iris had jumped out of her skin when he spoke to her. "What the fuck?" panicking a little Iris pushed him away from her. "Get away."

"Hey Bug…" Iris nearly vomited, why was he calling her Bug? That was a family nickname, and he had obviously got it from Alfie's Instagram and also from Lou's. Nobody called her Bug without Iris telling them it was okay and she rarely did it. Lou and two other of her close friends were the exception.

"What the fuck did you call me? My name is Iris?"

"Sorry Iris." He held up his hands. "Just seeing if you are okay. You look a little freaked out that's all."

"I'm fine. Thank you." She jumped in her car, slamming the door. He stood with his hands in his pockets before reaching through the window and grabbing the rose.

"This is weird right?" Holding up the rose he smiled at her.

Iris slammed her car into reverse and backed out. She was lucky that there was no cars behind her because she didn't even look. Glancing in the rear mirror she saw him still standing there, holding the rose. She held it together until she got home. Her first thought was to drive to Lola's but she knew Adam was there and until she had talked to Colton she didn't want upset Pops, especially not after the whole Mae debacle.

"Did he touch you? At all? Did he hurt you?"

"No, he was just really close, it scared me. I wasn't expecting him there." Iris shook her head and nervously pulled her hair tie out and redid her pony tail. It was a nervous habit of hers and one that Colton knew well and he let her go for a few moments before he reached for her hands. "He called me Bug. What the fuck? It made me feel sick."

"I've had enough Iris, seriously. This is getting too much for us to handle. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt. That's what scares me the most is you getting hurt."

"Can we not talk about it for a little while. I just want a sit here with you for a bit."

Colton scooted back into the corner of the couch and Iris settled herself into his arms and that's where Adam found them when Lola bought him home. It had got dark out and apart from a small lamp that was set to come on at a certain time they were comfortable in the quiet darkened room.

"What's wrong?" Lola took it all in. Something was off, she could tell just by looking at Iris.

"Nothing, just having a cuddle, one of those days." Iris sat up suddenly as Lola set Sam down and he was flinging himself at his Aunt. "Hey, hey my little Emu." She smothered him with kisses and he giggled and squirmed. "I've missed you. You've grown, even since last week, what does your Momma feed you?"

"Bug, Bug." He chanted, clapping his hands on her cheeks and returning her kisses.

Colton slipped upstairs to change out of his work clothes and then headed into the kitchen to start dinner and that's where Lola found him. "What's going on Colton? What's up with Bug?"

"Nothing to worry about Lola."

"Bullshit."

He sighed. Iris didn't want anyone to know, she was adamant about that "Lola, she's just feeling rough today. One of those days."

"Did something happen? Did someone say something?"

"No, she just needed a cuddle. Sam wasn't here so it was me. Look at her now." They could hear her chasing Sam around, he was squealing with joy. "Please don't worry Lola."

"I do worry about her."

"You all do, I also know if I don't you will kick my ass and I don't feel like an ass kicking."

Lola just nodded and smiled tightly, he was giving her nothing but she knew pushing him wouldn't work. He was a good guy, they knew that and he looked after their Bug. However, she knew something was going on but they weren't ready to talk about it so she had to take him at his word. It frustrated her; everything was a little more intense since Mae's incident.

Before she left she just checked in with Iris. "You and Colton are good?"

"What? Yes, Lola we are great. You know how some days you just want to curl up with the person you love and not think about anything?" Lola nodded. "That was today."

Lola picked up on her choice of words. "Not think about what?"

"Just life Lola Bear, just life." She hugged her sister and was pretty sure Lola didn't believe a word of what she was spinning but that's all she was getting. Iris was every more determined to keep Lola out of it. She was pregnant, just over four months and Iris would do anything to not stress Lola out.

If only it was that easy though, it wasn't just a bad day, it was about to escalate beyond their control.

Lou had been a little surprised when she caught up with a friend of hers for a drink and she had called her a 'sly little minx.'

"Why? What have I done now?" Lou was used to be called all manner of things, she was always out there and rubbed some people the wrong way. She was, however' loyal to a fault to her friends.

"I thought you and Iris were besties?"

"We are?" Lou's looked at her friend Shelby like she was speaking spanish. "What the fuck are you on about?"

"Still?"

"Still? Are you fucking high or something?"

"Surely she's not still your friend after you fucked around with Colton. Gotta say I am surprised; I didn't think you liked dick and I would've thought you'd want to fuck Iris not her boyfriend if anything." Shelby was certainly on Lou's side of the fence and had always been a little jealous that Lou's best friend was straight and had never felt threatened by Lou. Shelby's best friend had dropped her like a hot rock when she came out.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I saw Iris on Facebook."

"Iris isn't on Facebook." Lou shook her head. "She hates it."

"Oh she is now." Shelby pulled out her phone and showed her Iris's profile. Lou ripped the phone from her hand and was horrified.

"Unfollow that fucker." She snarled.


	33. Are you okay?

"That's not Iris, that's a sick fucker playing a sick fucking game. I have not slept with Colton; they have not broken up and she is not dating that crazy fucking stalker." Lou made it perfectly clear to Shelby and anyone within earshot that she was pissed.

Lou tried to get onto her Facebook and check out Iris's profile but she had to request to follow him and she refused to give him any victories, she doubted she'd be accepted anyway so she asked Shelby to show her and take screen shots of the entire thing. All the conversations, all the photos and the fact that it said she was in a relationship with Xavier Bolton.

All the photos of her had been taken from the internet from a few charity dinners she'd been too and the one Alfie had briefly posted of her in San Francisco, there was even a photo taken from Lou's Instagram before she blocked him. She had been cropped out and they were in their bikini's. His comment had almost made her vomit. _'Imagine tapping this every night? Jealous boys, I'm living the dream.'_

She was appalled by the comments from her friends, who he had befriended under the guise of being Iris asking what happened to Colton. According to fake 'Iris' she had found out that he was sleeping with Lou. 'Iris' had called her a skeevy fucking lesbian and that she hopes she chokes on his dick'. Colton also didn't use Facebook so never would have known this was going on. She couldn't believe that none of their friends thought that it seemed off? Why would Iris suddenly get Facebook when she'd never shown any interest in it?

What freaked her out even more was the few photos that were taken of Iris, obviously without her knowledge, of her around campus. It was terrifying.

It made her feel sick. She reported the account as fake but who knew how long it would be before Facebook did anything about it. Lou contacted a few friend's she knew who had followed 'Iris' and told them it was a fake and to block the page. Shelby wanted to write on every post she could that it was a fake profile and that Iris did not have a Facebook profile and say a lot more but Lou stopped her. They didn't want to spook him. She wanted to tell Iris first and she knew her Uncle would know what to do.

Rather than tell Iris over the phone she went around to the house. They had been surprised when she turned up looking all agitated and Lou being who she was got straight to it. "He's set up a fake Facebook profile."

"Of what?"

"Of Iris, he's claiming to be you. He's got photos from the Internet and taken some photos of you at college, he is claiming you are in a relationship with him and you dumped Colton because he was screwing me."

Iris snorted, it was more nerves than anything. As if Lou would sleep with any guy, let alone Colton. She trusted both of them. Colton wasn't so calm. "This is fucking sick; I will kill the fucking asshole."

"Don't" Iris whispered as the reality hit her. "Don't. Just stop."

That was the final straw, they went to Gus for help.

Iris just burst into tears and Gus wrapped her up in his arms, at that stage she hadn't said a word. They had just turned up and as soon as Iris saw him she cried. He had no idea what was going on. Colton was standing beside her, his hand on her back, he gave Iris the chance to speak but she was silent, so he did. "We need your help. Iris is being stalked." Colton informed him and Iris just started sobbing. Their precious little Bug.

"What? What the fuck?" Gus exploded and instantly regretted once he say how distraught Iris was.

"Okay, talk to me." Gus started grilling Colton while Rhiannon made them all a coffee. Iris had gone to the bathroom to catch her breath and wash her tear stained face. They were here, it still wasn't easy though. "How long?"

"A few weeks. Just little things, creepy little things but it's starting to get seriously weird and I am worried about what's next. It's gone from nothing to seriously fucking creepy in a very short space of time." Colton didn't want to get into the details until Iris was there. "I've wanted her to talk to you for a while, anyway…" he shook his head, that didn't matter anymore. "…here we are. Asking for your help. Please help her Gus, I've tried getting through to her how serious this is, I need you to do it, she'll listen to you." He was begging her Uncle. Colton was terrified that Iris was going to get hurt, seriously hurt.

Colton showed him some of the screen caps of the comments that both he and Alfie had deleted. Iris hadn't seen them either and she was pissed at her brother and Colton and a little horrified by what he had written. They shouldn't have kept it from her and she made sure he knew how pissed she was with him. He just took it though, he was adamant he had done the right thing.

The comments were getting worse, they were putrid and the more he didn't get any response the fouler he got. His comment on Lou's Instagram on a photo of them in bikini tops and shorts that was taken about a year ago was revolting. You could just make out that Iris had a tattoo on her side but couldn't see it clearly. The comment was that he left on Lou's Instagram was that he couldn't '_wait to come all over that body and sink his teeth into that tattoo_'. The thing is it was only that Lou caught it and took the photo that they knew about it because he deleted it the next day. She had sent it to Colton but they had kept it from Iris.

He was playing games and getting bolder and bolder and it set Gus on edge. He was annoyed that he knew nothing about it until now but it wasn't worth going there. This was hard enough for Iris.

Colton wasn't a huge fan of tattoo's in general, more so when people, guys and girls were covered in them and had never found them particularly sexy although he could admire the work that went into them. He had no idea, however why people wanted them on their calf, thigh, necks and everywhere in between and had been surprised when he first saw Iris's one on her inner arm. It had been at the party they caught up at and really hit it off. "Not a fan?" It wasn't a deal breaker but he would never get one himself.

"Just surprised that's all."

"It's a sweet pea and gum leaves."

"Your favourite flower?"

"No" She left it at that, this was not the time to talk about her parents, she didn't want to kill the buzz that she thought they had. He had made a beeline for her at the party when he saw her, his face lit up and he was surprised she was there. When he arrived his mate pointed out Iris, not realising that Colton had already been on one date with her and was more than interested in getting to know her better. "She's cute. I might see where she is at." Colton put his hand on his buddy's shoulder.

"Her name is Iris and I know where she is at." He laughed and caught her eye, she waved and excused herself from the conversation she was in and made her way towards him. "Hi, nice surprise." He reached for her hand and Iris kissed him on the cheek. "It's so good to see you again."

"I'm glad you are here. They were doing my head in." She nodded in the general direction of the girls she was talking to and then Iris introduced herself to his buddy, Mal. Colton offered to get her a drink and chatted to Mal while Colton got them drinks. They didn't stray far from each other all night. When Iris decided it was time to leave Colton waited outside with her until her ride turned up.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"No plans yet."

"How about we do something?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Hadn't thought much beyond that to be honest." He smiled and kissed her, a little needily. "Say yes."

"Yes." Iris kissed him back, she loved the way he felt and tasted. She was a little smitten.

The next day when they had caught up again and had a picnic lunch she told him about her parents she explained the tattoo but never mentioned that she had another one.

"That's what my Pops always called my Mom. Sweet Pea. I just wanted her close and the gum leaves are for my Dad, he loved the Australian bush, he took us there so that's for him."

By the time he found out about her other tattoo, barely a week later they'd just had sex for the first time. He'd pulled her top over her head and had seen it but they had other things on their mind at that moment. "I get the feeling you don't like tattoo's?" He had his hands under her arms as he lifted her onto his naked lap and ran his hands down her sides and rested them on her hip.

"Not a big fan, I'd never get one myself."

She went to move off him, which he certainly did not want her to do, he was so close to being ready to get into her again and he held her hips steady. "Where are you going?"

"I get it."

"Get what?" He dug his fingers in a little. "Stay Iris. I want you to stay." He sat up a little and kissed her. "I think you are incredibly sexy, you are turning me on. I want to fuck you again."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, can't you feel it?" He pulled her hips down into his lap and she could certainly feel the start of another erection pressing against her inner thigh.

"I can." Iris forgot all about it as she leant forward and he lifted his head and sucked a nipple into his mouth, followed by the other. It may have been quick and who knew how far this was going to go but the sex was hot and it was a wild night.

He woke her up when the sun was well and truly up by starting to nuzzle her neck and then kissed his way down to her stomach and around to her side. He was very happy that she was in his bed and the memories of the night before got him going again. The skin was sensitive down her side but she liked it. "Tell me about this? Is this for your Dad too? He was a zoologist and you've got a zoo tattooed on your side."

"It's the four of us, my two sisters and brother. We all got an animal given to us when we were born." He looked a little bemused. "Not at real one. Like a security blanket, except we had animals. Lola got a leopard, Mae got a Rhino, Alfie's was a giraffe…"

"And you are a…what the hell is that?"

"That is a wombat."

"What the fuck is a wombat?"

"It's a native Australian animal. Alfie picked it for me."

"Fuck, suddenly I am very interested in wombats." He kissed it sucking some of her skin into his mouth gently. Iris found it very sensual. "Like very interested."

"Steady on."

"Is that what they call you?"

"No, they call me Bug."

"Bug?"

"Yep, I'm their little Bug, pretty much they always call me Bug."

"Why?" While he was talking he was playing with her, touching her, kissing her body and feeling her out, feeling her respond to each touch.

"When Mom was pregnant they nicknamed me Bug, not sure why really." She shrugged and ran her hands down his back. "Anyway, it kinda stuck. Mom and Dad were not supposed to have any more babies. Dad had a vasectomy after my brother was born because she was really, really sick with him, like in hospital every month vomiting kind of sick so they decided not to have any more. Then one day Mom got pregnant, she was like 40. I was very much a surprise."

"Thank god for that. They made you perfect."

"You are sweet."

"Hmmm." he nipped at her ear lobe. "I'd like to be a little not so sweet right now." They got very hot and heavy and very sweaty. The empty condom packets were piling up.

Eventually Iris found her clothes where they had hastily discarded them and pulled her shirt over her head. Their pants were probably still in the lounge room because that's as far as they got the first time. "Is this like a one night thing?" she asked him shyly.

"No. No I hope it's not."

"Good."

He grabbed her behind neck, tangling his fingers in her long hair and kissed her slowly. "I really, really like you Iris. I have this feeling there is something about you."

By the next day Colton had researched Wombats, they were suddenly his favourite animal and Iris thought it was cute that he bothered. She was just as smitten as he was.

They hadn't really looked back and he loved her tattoos and that she shared one with her siblings. He often talked to his wombat and made Iris laugh when he did. He was cute when he would tell it a secret.

She will always remember when he was kissing her wombat and he whispered to it, "Hey wombat, let's not keep this a secret anymore but I've fallen in love with you." He kissed it gently and when he looked up Iris had her hands over her face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He pulled her hands away from her face and made her look at him. "Hey Bug, it's true, you know. I am so in love with you."

She just nodded tearfully and started kissing him but it wasn't until they were in the final few moments of some very passionate sex that Iris told him that she loved him too and those last few moments blew their heads off.

Right now though no-one was making jokes about anything. "What do we do now?" Colton was getting desperate, he could feel Iris wilting beside him. It was getting too much for her to handle and he was scared that this guy was going to do something out of left field. "Can we get a restraining order?"

"On what grounds?"

"What does that mean? On what grounds? He's stalking her. What the fuck are we waiting for? For him to attack her?"

"Stop talking about me like I am not even here." Iris snatched her hand away from Colton. The stress was getting to them and Iris knew he was just worried but it wasn't helping her stay in control. It was putting stress on their relationship and they didn't know how to manage it anymore. The little flares were happening more and more often.

"Look, you've done the right thing. Engaging with them, letting them know you are bothered by their behaviour and attention is one sure way to incite them in 90% of cases." Gus tried to explain.

"And the other 10%?" Colton feared he already knew the answer.

"Ignoring them makes them more determined."

"Fucking fantastic."

"Look I'm going to check him out. Can you send me all the messages and photos you have? And I want you to go through everything with me. From the start."

Colton let Iris do the talking, he wanted to butt in but every time he tried to say something Iris would glare at him. It was overwhelming her and Gus was trying to keep them both calm. He wasn't happy in the slightest when he found out that this Xavier guy had been to the house. Rhiannon sat calmly beside Iris and said nothing, it was the quiet, strong support she had always bought to the kid's lives and Colton knew that Iris would appreciate it.

Iris had come home one day to find that he had 'dropped' something off for her while he knew she was in classes. Adam had mentioned that 'apparently you are doing an assignment together and he must have got the times wrong and thought you'd be home by now.'

Adam had been surprised by the knock on the door but he was smart enough not to let people in who he didn't know. That's why they had a security door, especially since Mae's disaster. Iris would have told him if someone was coming over. "No, she doesn't get home until late on Wednesdays."

"Oh my mistake. Tell her I am sorry I missed her and I will try and catch up with her soon." He had wanted to wait but the old man was a little cagey. He told him that Iris wasn't home and wasn't due home anytime soon. He was waiting for his son to come once he got off shift. Xavier knew he was a cop, he'd done some research and he also knew the old man used to be a cop too. He thought he'd be too old now to think straight but he seems quite quick minded still.

He just smiled at the old man. "Tell Iris I came by."

Iris had been visibly shaken by that. When Colton got home Adam told him that she was up in their room and hadn't come down all night, she told Adam she had a migraine but he was thinking it was more than that. Colton took the stairs two-by-two. "What's wrong?" She was curled up on the bed with her eyes closed. When he sat on the edge of her bed she opened her eyes and just looked scared.

"He was here?"

"Who? Xavier? When?"

"Earlier, I wasn't home I was still in classes. He came here and talked to Pops, said we were doing an assignment together and he must have got the days wrong."

"Enough, enough Bug. This has got to stop. We need to talk to Gus at least. If not him then the cops."

"No." Colton refused to listen to her, he told her in no uncertain terms that the time for them trying to deal with it alone was over but Iris refused to budge.

"What did you tell Pops?"

"Nothing."

"He needs to know Bug, what if he comes back. Pops has to know." He pulled a card he never wanted to play. "What if he comes back and Pops gets hurt, you will never forgive yourself." It had been harsh and Iris was angry but she finally relented although she didn't forgive Colton that easily and he'd got the cold shoulder for a few days.

Adam was unimpressed. He gave both of them a serve and Alfie too when he got home. Once he calmed down though he gave them some advice on how to handle things. It seemed to settle down a little. They had a few weeks of nothing, Iris didn't even see him. Both Lou and a few of her other trusted friends were always around her and she spoke to the Dean and stopped attending the lectures of the class they shared but Iris watched them online. It was a move that they had discussed quite vigorously, it would be letting him know that he was getting to her but Iris was making herself sick worrying about it on the days that she took that class. She was so close finishing that it didn't matter too much.

They couldn't wait for the summer break. Iris was going up to the Beach House, she needed to get away from Chicago for a bit and the house always relaxed her. Colton had some concerns about her going up there, he wondered if Xavier knew about it. Plenty of Iris's friends knew about it and had been up there and they really had no idea how Xavier was finding out things about Iris. The cop in Adam had reminded them of that. "You don't know if someone is helping him. Someone you know and trust may be feeding him information. You can't discount anything at this stage."

Colton also organised a week off and would head up with her and they would assess the plans after that. Alfie could rearrange his work schedule and spend some time with Iris if they felt it was necessary, they had always enjoyed the house together.

Gus now also increased his presence around Iris. He would pick her up from College, go have lunch with her, never in uniform and he would get his buddies to drive past the house a few times a day. It was all subtle but that's what they wanted. Whether that was the reason Xavier backed off they weren't sure but Iris did start to relax a little.

Maybe too much.

She looked at her phone. It was a message from Lou. "Sorry Bug, I've got a flat tire. I'll be there soon." Iris felt a little uneasy. She looked around the bar constantly trying to take note of everything, she was suspicious of everyone lately. Seeing a couple of people she knew she made her way towards them and soon relaxed. Heading to the bar for another drink, she had refused to take a drink off anyone else she ordered a margarita. She wasn't drinking much at the moment but decided one wouldn't hurt.

Heading back to her group she checked her phone again and Lou was still 'on her way'. Suddenly she felt hot, her skinned crawled and her palms started to sweat. The room swam before her eyes and she tried to put her glass on the table and managed to spill it down the front of herself as she headed towards the bathroom, her legs felt heavy. Her phone beeped with another message and she tried to look at it but all she could see were lights.

"Are you okay?" She felt arms around her waist…


	34. It's My Party

Colton felt like his lungs were burning, his legs felt like lead and his head was spinning as he ran through the parking lot. He almost ran smack bang into the sliding doors when they didn't open when he approached them. Dancing in front of them angrily he was through them the second they split open.

"Iris Hollister." He gasped breathlessly at the counter.

"And you are?"

"Her fiancé. CPD called and said she was here." Lola had always told them all that the quickest way to get information or access in hospital was to declare that you were engaged at a minimum and Colton had no qualms using it now. Apparently 'boyfriend' wasn't good enough.

He was told to wait which pissed him off and telling the poor person behind the counter what he thought about waiting didn't get him very far. When he was allowed through, the noise hit him, the amount of people milling around and the heat but he barely took anything in as he was led through to Iris's cubicle.

"Oh God Bug." He reached for her hand and squeezed it desperately. Leaning over to kiss her forehead he begged her to open her eyes.

Slowly Iris managed to respond but she couldn't speak. A lone tear escaped the corner of her eye and he wiped it away. "I'm here Bug. You're okay." He whispered. "You're okay." Her eyes closed again, almost involuntarily and Colton swallowed the lump of bile and terror in his throat.

Colton pulled up a chair close to the side of her bed and held her hand whilst not taking his eyes off her while she slept until the Doctor came in. "Is she okay?"

"She is, she is a lucky lady."

"What happened?"

"She has drugs in her system." The Doctor informed him, a little too bluntly for his liking. "Whether she took something willingly…"

Colton saw red and didn't let him finish. "She doesn't take drugs, someone drugged her." No one was going to blame Iris for this, she wouldn't do this, he knew her.

"It may be that her drink was spiked."

"Who? Do they know?"

"That's for PD to figure out, they will want to talk to her, probably tomorrow. She'll be out of it for a while yet." The Doctor talked to him calmly. "We are just waiting for the toxicology results and we've popped a drip in just to give her some fluids."

Colton's head was spinning, he had a million thoughts crashing through his mind and he didn't know which one to listen to. "Was she hurt, did like, anyone touch her, hurt her?"

"No, we don't think so, there is no evidence of recent sexual activity." Colton just about vomited. Suddenly he was grateful that they hadn't seen each other since he left for work that morning. If he'd been home tonight, before she went out that might have been a different story. It had been a couple of days since they'd had sex because Colton had worked late most nights this week.

Colton had been out at some work drinks when he got the call from the Cops. "Colton Webber?"

"Yes."

"It's Officer Rata from Chicago PD. Do you know Iris Hollister?" His heart was already racing.

"I do, she's my partner, where is she? Is she okay? Is she hurt?"

"She is on her way to Chicago Med, it appears she is under the influence of drugs." He was already out the door and running to his car. He was driving tonight because he was expecting to pick Iris up from the party she was at. It was a birthday party for one of her friends at College. They didn't live in each other's pockets and had their own friends that they often went out with without the other.

"What?" Colton stopped momentarily. "No, not Iris."

"Ms Hollister has overdosed on drugs and isn't conscious at the moment but she is stable and the paramedics are just loading her up now. Yours was the last message on her phone." Officer Rata was watching the paramedics deal with Iris. Things weren't adding up, it just didn't feel right. "So you aren't on your way to pick her up?"

"No, I wasn't. Where are they taking her? Chicago Med?"

"Yep."

"Is she hurt? Did someone attack her?"

"We haven't been able to establish that yet."

"She wouldn't take drugs, she's dead against it." He had to get them to understand. "That's not Iris. She's being stalked."

"What do you mean stalked?"

"Some guy is stalking her, freaking her out. Xavier Bolton, he did this."

"Okay, we are yet to establish details, we'll be in contact." It wasn't good enough for Colton but he couldn't focus on that right now, he needed to see Iris.

Now he was sitting beside her bed and he felt sick. Things had spiralled out of control so rapidly their heads were spinning. They didn't think it would come to this. Even talking to Gus they hadn't anticipated something like this happening. He didn't know what had gone on but he was pretty sure he knew what direction to point the cops in.

Colton had no idea what to do but he knew he had to call someone. Adam wasn't an option and he was torn between Lola, who was obviously a Doctor and could help explain things to him and make sure Iris got the best care but she was also five months pregnant and he knew what happened the last time she was pregnant and how Iris completely wigged out. He made sure they knew that Dr Hollister was Iris's sister though, it had to help. Mae had been through enough lately; she didn't need this right now. He had to call Gus at some point because he wanted to know what was going on with the cops. Alfie was home with Adam so that really wasn't an option either.

He called Gus. He at least knew that Iris was having issues with this Xavier guy and he had helped them deal with it lately. "What is it Colt?" He didn't even give him a chance to say anything. "Is Bug okay?" The lateness of the call was warning enough especially with what had been going on lately.

"I don't know Gus, we are in Med, the cops called me. She's been drugged."

"What the fuck? What happened?" He was already scrambling to get his keys and his wallet, indicating to Rhiannon that he had to go and he was out the door within a minute.

"I don't know, they called me said she's unconscious and been taken to Med. I'm here with her now."

"Colt? Is she okay?" Colton knew exactly what Gus was asking. He'd asked the same question.

"Not that I know, Bug's not awake but they are pretty sure she wasn't assaulted." Everyone knew the only reason these drugs were used was to target women and then assault them. "She opened her eyes briefly when I got here but I don't know…" Colton couldn't continue. The cops had told him it was his last message to her that they had used to contact him. All his message had said, was '_Call me when you need to be picked up. Love you Bug. Have fun.' _ Iris listed him as 'The Boyfriend' and the cops managed to get into her phone and call him.

Gus was already in his car. "Have you told anyone else?"

"Not yet." Colton's voice shook. "I don't want to worry them."

"Colt, I'm going to call Lola?"

"Okay?" He looked at Iris sadly. "I just want to sit here with Bug."

Gus called Lola and she was at the hospital before Gus arrived. "Colton? How is she?" Lola rubbed his back to let him know she was there. He was resting his head on Iris's hand and lifting his head slowly Lola was a little stunned by the utter devastation on Colt's face.

"Still out of it?"

"What did they say?" Lola grabbed her chart and took a quick look and checked her vitals on the monitor. The Doctor in her had kicked in, it was the only way she was staying calm right now. When Gus had called her she had flown into a panic, she wasn't even sure Riley knew why she was leaving. They were enjoying a night at home; Sam was asleep and Lola was being indulged by Riley. She almost didn't answer the phone but Colt rarely rang her.

"Not much, they are just waiting to see what drug she was given. Bug wouldn't take drugs so someone must have given it to her. You know her Lola, she wouldn't do this. Apparently she made it to the bathroom and gave someone my name or something. I'm not sure. The cops haven't been in yet. They will talk to her tomorrow I think." He was trying to remember everything they'd told him so far. "I don't know Lola. I don't know. I'm so fucking terrified." He put his head back down on Iris's hand and his chest heaved.

"Stay here. I'll go find out what's going on and try and get you out of here and upstairs."

Lola squeezed his shoulder and went to see what she could find out, getting a hold of her admitting Doctor she had a quick chat. She spied Gus banging on the front desk, which was unoccupied, he was trying to get someone's attention. Lola went and saved the poor desk clerk from her Uncle's wrath as she made her way back to her desk, unaware of what was waiting for her. "Where's Bug?"

"Just through there, she's still out of it." Lola scanned the tox screen and wasn't shocked to see the drug, but her levels were high which concerned her. "It's Rohypnol."

"A Roofie?"

"Yep." She nodded. "She's stable and her Obs are fine, she's sleeping it off. Colton is sitting with her right now."

Lola took Gus into see Iris and they informed Colton of the drugs in her system and the colour drained from his face. "A date rape drug."

"It is known as that, yes." Lola nodded and then quickly added. "There are no signs she was assaulted."

"But we don't know for sure?" He couldn't explain how he was feeling if he tried. His emotions were swirling and they were all clashing. Anger, Anguish, worry, heartache, he'd known for a while that this had moved way beyond that young 'love the one you are with' relationship, into something far, far deeper and they were both comfortable with that. He just wanted her to open her eyes and tell him she was okay. He wanted to tell her he loved her, just in case she'd forgotten.

"No, no we don't. They are going to take her upstairs in a few minutes. You can stay with her."

Gus assured him that he would follow up with the CPD as soon as he could and would be back first thing in the morning but he promised he wouldn't let up. "Do you think this Xavier guy has anything to do with it?"

"Who fucking else?" Colton spat at him. "I told the cops his name when they called me."

It was a name that Lola had never heard before but she knew that there was something she was missing and that day when Bug was sitting in the dark with Colton and they blew her off came rushing back. "Who's Xavier?"

"Some fucking piece of shit who has been stalking Bug."

Lola couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Why? What the fuck? Why am I just hearing about this now?"

"We've been handling it. Bug didn't want anyone to know." Colton was tired, he didn't want to hash this out right now, his only concern was Iris and she happened to be lying unconscious in a hospital bed.

"This is crazy." Lola was waving her arms around wildly. Colton just ignored her and kept watching Iris sleep. "Colton, she's lying in god damn hospital, drugged to the fucking eyeballs and nobody thought to tell us some guy has been stalking her." She seethed at him.

Gus stepped in. "Lola, Bug talked to me about it, and we have been dealing with it. She didn't want to make a big deal of it. We didn't think anything like this was possible."

"Un-fucking-believable." She couldn't stand there any longer, she had to leave before she said something she'd regret.

Gus rested his hand on Colton's shoulder. "She'll be okay, they both will. You take care of Bug, I'll deal with Lola and the rest of them."

"Bug didn't want to tell her because she was worried about the baby."

Gus completely understood why Iris had been reluctant to tell anyone about it, especially Lola. "I know Colt, just focus on Bug."

Gus found Lola and she was pissed and barking orders into a phone at some poor sap in the admitting office. He tried to explain that to her that it was Iris's decision and she couldn't blame anyone, especially not Colton because he had done everything Iris wanted and also pushed her into getting help from him. Now Lola wanted to know everything that had happened right from the start and Gus told her as much as he thought she needed to know. He didn't get into the specifics but Lola got the gist of it.

A nurse came to notify them that they were taking Iris upstairs now. Her not so pleasant phonecall had done its job and she would take them up a coffee tomorrow to apologise, she didn't want to be that Doctor. "Is she awake?"

"Not yet."

Colton stayed with her, they couldn't get him away from her with a crowbar and he insisted that both Gus and Lola go home. He promised to let them know the moment she woke up. Lola tried to argue that she would stay and Colton reminded her this was exactly why Iris didn't want her to know. "She's worried about the baby. Please don't upset her."

"My baby is fine Colton. Let me worry about that."

"Lola, she was terrified that you would go into labour like you did with Sam, she didn't want that to happen. It was Iris's decision; I didn't agree with it but I had to support her."

"This was serious Colton; it could have been so much worse."

"We know. Don't you think I know that? I think this is bad enough, don't you?" His voice broke. "Do you think I wanted this to happen? Don't you think I wanted Iris to do more, I begged her to get help, I begged her to talk to Gus earlier. What else could I do?"

"Look, let's deal with that later." Lola agreed to go home, if she stayed much longer she probably would fight with Colton or say something she'd regret and Iris would probably sleep all night.

He slept in the chair beside her bed, dozing off occasionally but woke every time they came in to do some obs. He shot out of his chair when Iris vomited, trying to catch it. He was freaking out; this was a nightmare. He rang the bell and helped the nurse clean her up and change the sheets. Iris was still pretty out of it. "Colton." She muttered.

"I'm right here Bug."

"I'm sorry."

He grabbed a face cloth and washed her face gently. "It's okay Iris, It's not your fault. Just rest Baby." He kissed her forehead and felt her squeeze his hand.

Once she was settled and asleep again he sent a message to Lola, he had promised that if anything happened he would let her know. _'Bug just woke briefly, she vomited a couple of times, but didn't say much and is now asleep again. They say this is to be expected?'_

He drifted off again after a brief conversation with Lola, who assured him that Iris vomiting wasn't unusual and checking if he wanted her to come back in. Colton begged her not to come, he didn't want to have to deal with Iris being angry with him because he let Lola stay. He woke again when Iris tried to get out of bed. "Whoa, where you going?"

"Bathroom." Her words were still a little slurred and she was wobbly on her feet. They had told him that if she wanted to get up to go to the bathroom she could but not to leave her alone. Colton held her up while her head stopped spinning and they walked slowly to the bathroom; she still had the IV in which would hopefully help counter the dehydration she'd feel. "Do you know why you are here?"

"Where am I?"

"Chicago Med."

"I was in the bathroom."

"You were drugged, do you remember who drugged you?"

"No."

"Was it Xavier?"

"I don't know, I don't remember." She was getting agitated and tried to push him away. "Stop."

"Okay." Colton kissed her forehead. "Okay. Let's get you back into bed."

He helped her back into bed and Iris closed her eyes but she refused to let him go. "Colton. Stay here." Colton climbed up on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't care if the nurses frowned at him. It was what Iris wanted and he just wanted to hold her and protect her. He hadn't done that; he'd let her go out alone and this happened. He knew he couldn't wrap her in cotton wool and spending all day everyday together wasn't how they worked but that didn't make him feel any less guilty.

"Just sleep Bug."

They both managed to get some sleep, Iris was restless though, she vomited again just before dawn but was a lot more alert this time round. Colton managed to scramble off the bed just in time to avoid being covered in it. "You hate this?"

"What, you spewing? Yes I do, but right now I am I have more important things to worry about."

"Such as?" He sat her down in the chair while the nurse came in and changed the sheets. Colton squatted down in front of her and held a bowl in case she spewed again.

"You. What happened last night?"

"I wish I could remember. I can't."

"Just one thing Bug, I need you to remember one thing." Iris sighed angrily but Colton looked so distraught she nodded. "Did anyone touch you? Did anyone try to touch you, to assault you?"

Iris stared at him blankly.

"Did someone try and rape you?" He was surprised at how blunt he sounded.

"No. No, I don't know. Did they say I did? I don't remember."

"Shhhh." Colton held her head in his hands. "They don't think so, I just wanted to know so I can help you. If you are hurt I want to help."

"You'd leave me then?"

"Oh god no, no Bug, I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't remember." She sounded in pain. "Oh God, oh god."

"It's okay Baby. We've got time. Don't worry about that now." He helped her back into bed and she slept again and Colton just sat next to her and got another hours sleep. Lola woke him when she arrived.

"Is she okay?"

"Yep, she was awake a little while ago and had another spew but talked a little, she doesn't remember much."

"What did she say?"

"I can hear you." Iris muttered without opening her eyes.

Colton moved a little so that Lola could talk to her sister. "How are you?" She touched her face. "You scared me."

"Sorry."

"How you feeling?"

"Like shit." Lola wasn't surprised. It was apparently like a having a massive hangover. "Are you okay?"

"I am, we are both fine. We are both okay," Lola grabbed her hand and rested it on her little belly and leant in and whispered in her "My little bug, I love you so much."

Colton helped her into the shower; Lola had bought some clothes in for her to wear home rather than the clothes she went out in last night.

They wanted her to eat something and see how she handled that before she could be discharged. Iris wanted Lola to go and tell Adam and Mae but she didn't want to leave until CPD had been in and Colton wasn't going anywhere. It took a lot of effort to get him to agree to go down to the café and get a coffee. He needed it; he hadn't left her side the whole night.

"Bug, what's going on?"

"Well Lola, someone spiked my drink."

"Really? Huh? I didn't know." Lola answered sarcastically. "Who the fuck is Xavier?"

"Can we not talk about it right now?"

"No, it's time to talk about it. You are in a bloody hospital Bug, drugged with Rohypnol and I find out that someone asshole is stalking you."

"And we were handling it."

"So fucking well that I get a call in the middle of the night to find out you are unconscious."

"Back off Charlotte." Iris didn't need a lecture right now. "For fucks sake, don't start. It was just a little annoying. I have no idea if he had anything to do with this." Iris was stressed, she was worried about the baby and didn't want Lola to get upset.

"What did he do?"

"Just posted shit on Instagram and Facebook, he was always trying to buy me coffee." Iris left out the turning up at the house when only Pops was at home, the breaking into her car and sending her flowers, the fake profile and how bad some of the comments were. She had begged Adam not to say anything, playing the 'let's not upset Lola and the baby' card. Lola knew it was much more than that, but she wasn't going to push her just yet.

"Come on Iris, this was serious."

"We talked to Gus about it, I just tried to ignore him. Colt never replied to his messages on Insta, I never accepted his follow request. Colton thought the best thing was to not engage with him and Gus and Alfie agreed. I made sure I was never caught alone with him at College. We did everything we could." Iris was getting upset. "We thought we were doing the right thing."

"You should have told me. This was serious Bug."

Iris had a thumping headache and the more she talked the more it throbbed. She didn't want to talk about it right now and she didn't appreciate being interrogated by Lola. "Back the fuck off." She snapped just as Colton came back.

While he hated getting in between Iris and her family right now he felt he needed to step in. They were both getting upset. She still had to go through it with CPD and then they had the rest of the family to deal with and he could see all the colour drain from Iris's face and she was breathing heavy like she was about to vomit again. "Lola, can we drop it for now please."

"Drop it? She was fucking drugged by a stalker. I will not drop it."

"Please Lola." He begged her.

"Don't you dare tell me to drop it. She's my sister. It's your fault she's here. Who the fuck do you think you are?" Lola pushed Iris's last button by having a go at Colton who was just doing his best.

"Lola, please." Colton begged her to stop.

"Get out." Iris whispered. "Get the fuck out Charlotte. Just leave us alone. I just want to be left alone. I don't need you here." She reached for Colton's hand.

Lola tried to argue back but Iris wasn't listening, she just wanted Colton.

He wasn't judging her, and it felt like her sister was. Blaming Colton wasn't going to wash either, none of this was Colton's fault. He did everything she asked him too.

"Charlotte didn't mean it." She tried to talk Colton down, he was furious. He knew they were going to be fiercely protective of Iris, he'd been warned about this from the moment they started dating but seeing it in full flight was a force to be reckoned with.

"Yep." Was all he said, she knew he was pissed but obviously wouldn't talk about it.

"I'm sorry." Iris couldn't stop the tears.

"Wombat, it's okay."

Iris sent Lola a message. _'I love you so much Lola Bear, I'm glad you were here. We are just trying to get our head around all this, it's been a really tough few weeks. Colton is taking care of me, like he always does. It's not his fault. He's what I need right now and I know he won't let me down.'_

Lola could understand, it was just hard to let go of their little bug. She would always be their little sister. A little girl who didn't understand what had happened to them, that they grew up protecting and now she was turning to someone else for comfort, someone who loved her just as much as they did.

Lola knew how much this had upset him, it was etched on his face and he was struggling and his only concern was Iris and that was a good thing. As hard as it was she had to take a step back and trust him and she needed to focus on the family, on Adam. That's how she could help Iris right now.

"You are here early?" Alfie was up when Lola stopped by, she'd cooled off a little by the time she got there, the message from Iris helped. "Where's Sam?"

"At home with Riley, he's on a day off."

"Did you wet the bed?" Alfie ran his hands over her small belly. Lola couldn't stop him if she tried. "Hey little cricket." They had no idea why they called this one cricket but Alfie had nicknamed it and it had stuck. Sam had other ideas though, he didn't like 'crickets', and always told Alfie off for calling his bubba a cricket.

"No." Lola asked for a cup of camomile tea, right now she needed something calming. "Where's Pops?"

"He's sleeping in."

Lola couldn't hold it in any longer. "What do you know about this Xavier guy?"

"Why?"

"What do you know Alfred?"

"Whoa, why are you pissed at me?" He hated being called Alfred and they only did it to annoy him or when they were pissed, like Lola obviously was now. Lola just glared at him. "He was a guy from Bug's college that was being a dick for a while but she hasn't seen or heard from him for a few weeks I think. Why?"

"I've just come from Med, Iris's drink was spiked at a bar and she's been there since late last night. Everyone seems to think this Xavier is involved."

"Why the fuck didn't you call me?" He threw the coffee down the sink. "What the fuck Lola."

"Bug's going to be okay." Lola pinched the bridge of her nose. She was desperate for this tea to kick in with its calming effect because she felt anything but calm.

"Are you fucking serious? What are the cops doing? How's Bug?" Alfie asked a million questions and gave her no chance to answer. "Does Colton know?"

"Does Colton know what?" They hadn't heard Adam come down and both Lola and Alfie just stared at him. "Know what?"

"Pops, Bug's in hospital." Lola helped him sit down. "She's going to be fine but she had her drink spiked last night. Colton has been with her all night. CPD called him."

"Oh my god." He started shaking. "Bug?"

"Bug's fine Pops. She's fine, a bit of a headache and she'll be home soon. They are just waiting for the Doctors to come in and CPD will want to talk to her. Gus is all over it."

"Take me to see her Alfred." Pops struggled up out of his seat. Now Pops was pissed with Alfie too. "I want to see Bug."

"Pops, they'll be home soon. She sent me a message a little while ago and they are just waiting for the Police to talk to Bug and Gus is with them."

"They've been alone all night." Adam was angry. "If you won't take me, I will walk." Lola was adamant that he wasn't going to the hospital and she accepted the gobful of abuse she got from Pops.

Alfie had been pacing. "What happened?"

"We aren't really sure. Bug doesn't remember a lot; she remembers trying to get to the bathroom and apparently a couple of girls helped her out. Colton had messaged Iris just before she passed out and the cops were able to use that to contact him. That's pretty much all I know."

"Um, Lola…" Alfie leant over and whispered while Adam held his head with his hands. "…is she like, okay? Not hurt?"

"Alfie, she's okay. Nobody touched her." Lola answered quietly.

"What are you talking about? What aren't you telling me?" Adam could see them whispering.

"Nothing Pops. Alfie just wanted to know if it was just the drugs."

"So this asshole didn't rape her?" When everyone was skirting around the issue Adam didn't have much of a filter anymore. Alfie hoped he didn't ask Iris like that when she got home.

"No Pops. Just the drink spiking."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Pops, the Doctors are sure. Bug is sure."

"Is it the guy that came here?"

"What?" Lola screeched. "He was here? What the fuck?" She swung around and glared at her brother. Everyone had neglected to tell her that. "Fucking hell Alfred."

Alfie tried to calm her down but it was nigh on impossible. "Charlotte, back off. You didn't need to know, lets just focus on what's happening now." It was pointless getting upset about that, nothing would come of it.

"This is fucking insane. All this shit is going on and nobody bothers to tell me that this guy stalked her all the way to this house. Did we fucking learn nothing from all Mae's fucking drama with Rick and with George's Dad, who also just turned up? Remember?"

"We all remember. Look, we dealt with it." Alfie exploded. "So back the fucking truck up Charlotte."

"Both of you just stop it. Stop it." Adam cried angrily. "It's not about you, it's about Iris, your little sister."

Colton held her hand and was surprised at how tightly she was gripping it when CPD came in. Gus had come in earlier and talked Iris through what they might ask and to tell them whatever she could remember, no matter how insignificant she thought it might be and he stayed with them throughout the interview.

Officer Rata had been taken aback when he was contacted by Sgt Ruzek. He knew him, obviously from his time at the academy, which wasn't that long ago and he was also aware that his Dad had led Intelligence for a long time. What he had to do with this case and how he knew about it though, he had no idea.

"She's my niece." Gus was pissed that he was being questioned by a junior officer, although he was just doing what he was trained to do. "This is not being swept under the carpet. I've looked out for her her whole life, my old man, you know him Adam Ruzek, will not be happy. So let's get this done because if you don't, I will." Gus made himself very clear, there was no misunderstanding.

"What do you remember?" Rata did feel a little on edge having to talk to Iris with her Uncle watching. He didn't want to stuff up and he was trying to remember everything he needed to do and ask.

"Not much. I vaguely remember feeling dizzy and really hot. I went to the bathroom, and not much else." Iris still felt fuzzy, like her head was in a bucket of water. "I remember someone grabbing me or asking me if I was okay, but I don't remember who."

"Male or female?"

"Female I think, the voice, I think I remember the voice a little. They were laughing I think, I don't really remember." The harder she thought the harder it was to hang on to the little threads that popped into her head.

"Do you remember anything about before then? Who bought your drink?"

"I bought it. I don't think I left it anywhere, I can't really remember."

Both of the Officers were taking notes, Gus just sat and listened. "What about people around? Anyone looking suspicious, anyone try and talk to you that you didn't know? Any bad hits off anyone? Anything at all? Someone you know or have had trouble with?"

"No, nothing, not that I can recall."

Colton jumped in and asked if they had any idea what happened. "We've talked to the two girls you asked for help, they said they didn't know you." Iris still couldn't really remember them or what they looked like; everything was just foggy. "You told them not to let anyone touch you and call the cops."

"I don't remember that."

"At all?" Iris shook her head. "They called security who called an Ambulance and us. Now I want to talk you through what happened next. As you were being loaded into the Ambulance we were approached by a man who claimed to be your boyfriend and he wanted to take you home or travel with you to the hospital. We asked for ID, I just had a hunch and he didn't have any. Said his name was Colton Webber. We called the number of the last message you received, from 'The Boyfriend' and obviously his phone didn't ring. He took off as soon as he realised we had your phone. Do you know who that might be?"

Gus was relieved that these two cops seemed to be smart, things didn't add up and they went with their gut. It was what they always wanted cops to do but many of them needed years on the job to learn to trust their instincts. He was grateful that these two did and would make sure their Sargeant knew it.

"Xavier Bolton." Colton answered for her. Iris was struggling to comprehend what she'd just been told. "He's been stalking her for a while." They asked for a general description and Iris managed to give them one and Colton added what he knew. He'd never seen the guy apart from photos online. It matched the guy who approached them.

"What kind of stalking?"

Gus ran through all the things had been going on. Iris added a few things here and there but let Gus and Colton do all the talking.

Colton scratched his head. This was insane. "I don't understand how he knew she'd been drugged. Surely it's not a coincidence that he just happened to turn up at the party she was at after she'd been drugged to try and take her home?"

"I wouldn't have thought so, no." The cops and Gus agreed and that was like a kick in the guts. Knowing that he had taken it this far, that he was trying to abduct Iris and most likely assault her was horrifying. It was the terrifying reality they were now facing, that the small hope that this was a random attack had evaporated. This wasn't an innocent little crush that Xavier had on Iris either, this was a full blown stalking case with criminal intentions. It had crossed the line from annoying to dangerous.

"So you'll arrest him?"

"We will look into it."

"Look into it?" Colton exploded. He wanted them to do more than look into it. "Imagine if he had taken her home, what would have happened?" He heard Iris gasp. She just sat and stared straight ahead as the reality of what they were talking about sunk in.

Gus stood up; he didn't want to keep going down the 'what if' path. He put his arm on Colton's shoulder to stop him. "We need to talk to a few more people, Bug are you sure he wasn't at the party?"

"No, I didn't see him."

"Okay, so he had someone do it and then let him know you'd been drugged. We need to find that person." There was no way Gus was letting this go, he'd be like a dog with a bone.

Officer Rata nodded. "The bar has CCTV and we took it last night but haven't looked at it all yet. It might take a couple of hours."

Gus took them home. Adam was waiting for them by the front door and was out of the house the moment his car pulled up and Iris headed straight for him. He opened his arms wide for his youngest granddaughter. "Come here Bug." What the fuck had these kids ever done to the universe to deserve all this shit? Mae was assaulted, twice, Iris was stalked and drugged. They were beautiful children who had done nothing wrong, they were smart, friendly, well-liked kids who had grown into well-adjusted and adored adults who never hurt anyone. They'd been to hell and back and it was never ending. It wasn't fair.

"I'm okay Pops."

"I'm not."

Iris looped her arm through his, it disappointed her how shaky they both were. "Pops, it's okay. I am fine, a day at home resting with you fussing over me is all I need."

"You got plenty of that coming up my girl."

"Just what I need."

"And your boy?"

"He could do with some TLC as well; you'd be proud of him Pops."

Alfie had a million questions for Colton and Gus while Lola and Pops fussed over Iris. They hadn't told Mae yet, that was next on Lola's list now that Iris was home. Pops wasn't going to move very far today; Colton wouldn't leave either.

Gus could see Colton flagging. He'd been awake most of the night, with just a few naps here and there so they convinced him to have a shower and sleep while Iris was resting. She was asleep on the couch with her head resting on a pillow right near Adam. He was stroking her hair like he'd done when she was a little girl and she looked peaceful. It had been a very rough night for her and Colton didn't really care about himself at this point. Before he went upstairs he stood and watched Adam with her for a bit, his hands in his pocket to stop anyone seeing how much they were shaking, he took a deep breath because he felt the tears stinging behind his eyes.

Adam didn't even look at him but knew he was there. "I'll look after her for you."

"Thanks Pops."

His legs felt heavy as he dragged himself up the stairs. The shower felt good, he just leant his head against the cold tiles and let the hot water soothe him. He tried to focus on just that, just the water washing away the smell of his own body odour, the faint waft of hospital and vomit and his weariness.

How the fuck had it come to this? It was all he had thought about, what he should have done to put a stop to this earlier. He knew Iris didn't blame him but he blamed himself and knowing it was stupid didn't make it any easier. Until they found out who did this it wasn't over, and it would take a lot to convince him it wasn't Xavier.

Iris didn't get as much sleep as she needed because as soon as Lola called Mae, she was over along with Poppy. Sam squealed when he saw his little cousin. He just adored her and Poppy loved him just as much. He would make her giggle and it was the cutest sound listening to the both of them. Rhiannon also came over and Iris got a little overwhelmed when it was all anyone wanted to talk about. She slipped upstairs and woke Colton by stretching out on top of him. Instinctively he just wrapped his arms around her. "You okay?"

"I am now."

"Bug…"

She cut him off. "Colton, it's not your fault."

"I was going to say I love you."

"Well of course you do and that's not your fault either."

"How do you figure that?"

"I made myself irresistible, I am hard not to love."

"Obviously." He closed his eyes again and Iris knew he was finding it a little hard to cope with what had happened and this wasn't the first time he had been confronted with her family in full protective flight, it was a force to be reckoned with but this was the first time it was focussed on him. He wasn't around when Mae had her issues with Rick and although he was here when Mae and Pops were assaulted by George's father but he was a little bit removed from that, he supported Iris through it but stayed out of the family whirlpool, it seemed like it was the wisest choice but they were relentless, he knew that much. He figured it was like trying to hold back the tide and that's what he was feeling right now. There was no getting out of this vortex.

"Hey, don't do this. This is not your fault, it's not my fault but it happened and we need to get past it. I am okay, nothing happened to me."

"Well…."

"Baby, I'm going to be okay. I've got a whole mob downstairs plotting revenge and fussing over me."

"They are good at that."

"More than that, I know I am going to be okay, because I have you." He nodded his head and grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her head down towards his so he could kiss her softly. "So let them fuss and I'll get my hugs and cuddles and kisses and love from you."

"I'd give you some love right now if it wasn't for the full house downstairs who are quite likely to come storming in at any time. I really don't want that on my record."

Iris gave him one more kiss. "Thank you for being my rock, my everything and my only thing."

It would have been nice to hide in their room forever but hardly practical. Colton waited while Iris had a shower. She still wasn't completely back to normal and he was worried she would faint in the shower especially when she got up off the bed and reached for his arm to steady herself as her head swam.

He stood by the shower door and Iris did exactly what he had done, rested her head on the cool tiles and just let the water wash over her. The water felt nice, it was relaxing and she did sway a little when she lifted her head. Colton was in there in a flash, clothes and all to catch her just as her knees buckled. The hot water and steam had made her dizzy and the dizziness made her vomit, all down the front of Colton. "You've spewed on me a lot today." He tried to laugh it off as he washed the remnants off his chest.

"Sorry."

"You are the only person I'd let spew on me."

"Ahh, that's true love. Can we not say anything?" She didn't want Pops to worry any more than he already was.

Adam, unfortunately had no filter anymore. "Shower sex?" He commented as soon as they both came down with wet hair. Iris was used to it by now but Colton still struggled sometimes. "I remember when Gus got so drunk he had alcohol poisoning and ended up in hospital. Your Dad stayed here with your Mom and we got home and they both had wet hair, I'm sure they had been at it like rabbits. She never admitted to it though."

"Well we weren't 'at it like rabbits', Pops." Iris added the air quotes. Colton just walked outside; he knew that sometimes rather than get dragged down into the gutter it was better to just walk away. "I had a shower, the hot water made me a little dizzy, Colton being the panic merchant that he is jumped in to help me, fully clothed I will add. That's all…there was no rabbiting going on."

"Good to know. If you are anything like your mother."

Iris winked which made Adam chuckle. "How good would that be?"

Lola insisted that she take Iris's blood pressure. This was precisely why they didn't want to say anything. Pops sat beside her and held her hand, she could feel him shaking so she leant on his shoulder. "Hey Pops, I feel good. It was just a little too much hot water."

Colton had grabbed his phone and headed outside so Alfie followed him. "How you doing?"

He ran his hand over his face wearily. "I'm okay."

"Thanks for taking care of Bug."

"Great fucking job I did."

"Hey…" Alfie put his hand on his arm. "…you did. You did all that you could. This is not on you, not any of it."

"I know, but you know I keep thinking if I had pushed Bug harder, made her report him earlier. Maybe if I said something, told him to back off. I don't know."

"We did what we thought was best, Gus agreed. We did what Bug wanted. I know right now it seems pretty fucked. I've done nothing but think about it too. If I'd said something when those Insta messages first started."

"I just didn't think it would come to this. I mean, he turned up outside the bar telling the cops he was me, wanting to take her home. You know what that means? He would have raped her." He couldn't get that out of his head and the more he said the angrier he got.

"Hey, slow down. We can't do the should've, could've, would've game." It had certainly consumed Alfie's thoughts as well but Gus had told him that Colton was struggling with that and they needed to talk him off the ledge. "It serves no purpose. Bug is safe here with us and I have faith in Gus and CPD that they will get this guy. He's not that smart."

"Isn't he?"

"No, because he picked on the wrong fucking family." Alfie made a deal with Colton. "You take care of Bug, let Gus and I take care of this dick."

"Do I want to know?"

"No, no you don't. Take care of my sister Colt, please." Colton was surprised that Alfie's voice caught in his throat. "She means the world to me."

"I know. Just keep me in the loop okay?" Alfie promised him that he would.

Lola found him and apologised for her behaviour earlier. "I was just scared Colt, that's my little Bug and for so long I've taken care of her and I feel I let her down."

"You didn't Lola, you know why she did it?" He never agreed with Iris's decision but he knew if he broke her trust he may never get it back and he never wanted her not to trust him.

"I do, and that's really sweet. The baby is fine, make sure she knows that."

"I think you'll need to keep sending her messages for the next few days letting her know you aren't in labour. She'll like that."

"You are a good guy, I'm glad Bug has you."

It was a relief when everyone finally left and Adam wouldn't go to bed until Iris had. Colton sat and waited for Adam, he knew he had something to say, Colton had poured them both a glass of Bourbon as a nightcap. "I am worried about her Colt."

"I know Pops, I was too and I still am but you know how strong she is, she is an amazing woman and I think that is due to you and MiMi and the whole family. She's incredible, you should be proud of her."

"I am, I am proud of all of them. I miss her Mom and I miss MiMi." He wiped the tears from his eyes angrily. "MiMi would know how to take care of her right now."

"I know you do, they all do. I wish I had met them both and her Dad but I am glad I know you."

"Please don't break my little Bug's heart."

Colton leant back a little and took a deep breath. "Adam, you know when I first met Iris I was thinking this is great, she's great and I did fall in love with her but when you are young you don't think too far ahead. We were having fun, getting to know each other, growing up and I thought this is cool. Now, it feels different somehow I now see next year, five years, ten years down the track and Iris is still there…" he touched his chest. "…she's still here. And you know what, it feels great. When I got that call last night my heart stopped beating, literally. I think she is it for me and I really, really love that feeling."

"It's overwhelming when that happens isn't it? I remember when I thought that about her grandmother. I'd been engaged a few times before, because I was always in a rush towards something but then I met Kim and something changed. I had sixty years with her and I think I loved her more every day."

"I can't wait for sixty years of Iris."

Colton helped him up to bed. He was a little unsteady today, whether it was because he was stressed and not eating much or tired because he was usually well and truly in bed by now they weren't sure but they were worried about him today, he just didn't stop.

Colton crept into the bedroom and tried not to make too much noise or turn a light on. Iris needed to sleep, she always woke up when he came in though. For the first time today she lost it, he felt her tears on his chest as she snuggled into him. "It's okay Bug." He kissed and stroked her hair. "It's okay."

"I feel so stupid."

"Why?"

"Just everything. All of it." He tried to reassure her but at the end of the day he had to let her cry it out, as much as it hurt him to listen to.

"Can you touch me?"

"I am Baby."

"No I want you to touch me."

"Where?"

"Everywhere." He pushed her back into the mattress and started to touch and kiss her all over. He whispered to her constantly and responded to her movements. He knew what she liked and didn't like and her breathing got slower and deeper the longer he went on.

"What do you want Bug?"

"You." So he gave it to her, slow and steady, pushing himself deep into her, cradling and shielding her body from the outside world. Loving her, feeling her warmth and strength and passion. "I love you so much." He felt her hot breath tickling his neck and her tears. He couldn't stop his own and he buried his head into her neck. Iris held the back of his head with one hand while the other gripped the back of his thigh as she arched her back so that every part of them was connected. It was intense and left them both a little rattled and breathless.

"God Bug. Where did that come from?" He gasped.

"I don't know." She was struggling to catch her breath, he had literally taken it away. "I didn't want it to stop."

"Me either. I'm still buzzing." He pushed against her a little. More than happy to stay where he was for now.

"That is all I am going to remember about this day. How incredible that just was."

Colton pushed himself up on his elbows and looked down at his beautiful Bug, he kissed her slowly, his tongue pushing on her lips until she let him in. "I can't let you go."

"You are stuck with me now."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Safe and content." Iris placed one hand on his cheek and when he leaned into it, she ran her thumb over his lips. "You make me content."


	35. Pressure

The house was dark when they arrived. It smelt a little closed in because it had been a while since anyone was up here. Initially Alfie was going to come up for a week but Colton was struggling to let Iris out of his sight so he had come with her. He had a week's leave and negotiated to work off site, so they had two weeks up here to recover.

They opened the windows to let the evening breeze flow through. Iris loved this house and spent almost all her summer holidays here. She just loved to relax, swim, walk on the beach, eat, drink and read. Peace and quiet didn't bother her and just as she loved having friends up here she also loved being alone or just being with Colton. He loved the house as much as she did.

The first time she had bought him up here they'd only been together a month. She didn't tell him much about the house until they arrived. "It belonged to my grandparents."

"Pops and MiMi?"

"No, my Dad's parents. I never met his Dad, he died when Lola was a baby and my Nan died when I was about one."

"It's a beautiful house."

"Yeah, yeah." Iris looked a little wistful. "My parents were here, the weekend they died, they were on their way home to us."

"I'm sorry Iris."

"I feel close to them here. I don't remember coming here with them but there are photos and videos of all of us up here." Iris showed him the videos and he really loved to see her happy with her family. She was a cute little kid and he teased her about how sweet she looked in her swimmers with a very cute little 'tush'.

It had always been easy for them to be together, and they had always felt comfortable around each other from the day they met and they were very comfortable in this house.

Colton bought their bags in and his laptop while Iris unpacked the groceries they had picked up on the way. Mae had been a bit annoyed that they were coming up here so soon after the drink spiking because she wanted to take care of Iris and she still refused to set foot in this house. Iris had to get away though. She felt safer here while CPD were dealing with Xavier, they had tracked him down thanks to Gus's relentless pressure and he had been charged with Assault, attempted abduction, unlawful drink spiking, possession of a prohibited drug, soliciting a crime, stalking, criminal damage to a motor vehicle and harassment.

It had been intense, Xavier hadn't gone quietly and Iris knew that Gus had 'assisted' in his arrest, which he resisted and required medical assistance prior to be sent to lock-up. One thing Colton learned very quickly was that not everyone in prison or lock-up hated the cops, some could be quite helpful. When he asked what happened he was told 'not to worry about it, the less he knew the better' but rest assured "Xavier is very aware he crossed the wrong family."

When they asked why he did it, why Iris his response was unsettling. "She turned down my invitation to a party, she kept saying no to me. I didn't like it."

Mae and Colton had got into it a little bit before his arrest, which had upset Iris even more. She had just wanted to get away from it all. He had told Mae to back off when she was harping on to Iris about Xavier. "He seems to know an awful lot about you, I mean he turned up here and put Pops at risk what if he knows about the Beach House, you are isolated."

"That's why Colton is coming with me."

"Fat lot of good that would do. I mean he didn't stop you from getting drugged did he?" It was a low blow and Iris lost her shit.

"Fuck you Mabel. Fuck you. This was not his fault. He didn't do this, don't you dare…" she spat at her, she was wild and Iris didn't hold back. "I can't fucking believe you are blaming Colt for this."

"Bug, I'm just scared. Bad shit happens at that place."

"Bad things don't happen at the house, good things happened there. Stop this bullshit. I've heard enough. I get you hate the house but I love it." Iris was seriously over Mae's carry on every time someone mentioned the house. "It's so fucking easy for you isn't it? You don't get it, I have nothing. Nothing, I don't remember them, I don't remember what it felt like to be loved by them, touched by them, kissed by them all I have is that house and when I am there I feel them. I want that, I like it so just fucking back off and leave me alone. I can make my own decisions, I'm not a fucking child."

"If they didn't go then maybe you would have all that."

"Fucking stop." Iris had heard it so many times she couldn't stand to hear it again. "And don't fucking ever blame this on Colton. He did everything I asked him to do. He's been there for me, where have you been?"

"I didn't fucking know did I?"

"And why do you think that is? Because you'd fucking over react like you are now."

"Forgive me for caring."

"You wouldn't like it if I blamed George for his father beating the shit out of you and Pops, would you?" No one blamed George so Iris didn't understand why everyone was quick to blame Colton for something that was out of his control.

"Fuck you Iris. Don't you dare."

Colt came in at the end and heard them going at it. Iris stormed off and left Mae angrily packing up Poppy's stuff to leave. "She'll be okay Mae." He started to try and talk to her.

"Sure, that's why she's recovering from being drugged by some crazy fucking stalker who seems to know an awful lot about her and where she lives."

"You know what?" he had always tried to stay out of arguments between Iris and her sisters. It wasn't his place to say anything. They'd scrap and niggle each other, like all siblings did and then it would be over. "Right now, she doesn't need the stress of shit like this."

"Too fucking bad."

"You need to back off." That had set Mae off and she gave him a gobful. How dare he tell her to back off? This was her sister they were talking about, what right did he have? "As her partner, you know the guy who loves her and has lived through this with her I think I have every right to tell you to back off. Bug asked me to protect her and help her, not you and this is not helping. So I don't fucking care if you think I don't have any rights here but I will tell you, Bug comes first, not you and your need to control her."

"Fuck off."

"She wants to go to the Beach House; I am taking her there. You don't like it, too fucking bad." He left it at that. If he had stayed trying to talk to Mae it would have only gotten worse. He did add before he left. "I know you love her like no other, trust me, so do I. You don't think this is hurting me too, seeing Bug like this? I know you are scared; I know you've been through a lot lately and what did you do, you went away with George to give yourself a chance to breathe, that's what I am doing for Bug. She wants to feel safe, that's all I am trying to do."

The next day Mae and Iris apologised to each other. It never lasted long and no one ever held a grudge. Mae also apologised to Colton, she knew he was just trying to do his best for Iris but she was scared and it was hard to let go and let him take care of her.

"Hey Mae, I get it, I really do. I'll look after her." Colton was still bothered by it but he had to let it go and focus on Iris. That's what she needed him to do.

Iris opened two bottles of beer and they took them out onto the deck to get the fresh air while the house cooled down. It was breezy out and she jumped up and grabbed a rug to cover herself as she settled back against Colton. He slipped his hand under the rug and drew circles on her thigh. "You okay?"

"I am. This is nice." They had made a deal that they weren't going to talk about the past few weeks and focus on talking about things they enjoyed and each other. "I wish I could live here."

"And do what?"

"Nothing."

"So we need to win the lottery?"

"I guess." Iris took a mouthful of beer; it wasn't going down as well as she liked. Everything seemed a struggle at the moment. "It would be nice, hey?"

"Especially if you spent the whole time either in a bikini or naked."

She laughed and it felt like her old laugh again and that was good enough for him. "Even if I am old and fat and sagging?"

"Well I will be old and fat and sagging too so who cares. My balls will be banging on my knees and it'll take me all day to get hard." Iris covered his hand with hers as he slowly started moving it higher on her leg. "Good thing about that is once I get going, it will take forever to blow and I'd get to be inside you for hours."

"Hmmm." She hummed and moved her leg so he could slip his fingers inside the leg of her shorts. "I like the sound of that."

"Me too. I always want to be inside you." Iris relaxed, her body went limp as he touched her. "You feel so good. Let me taste you."

He jumped up suddenly and held out his hand which Iris happily took as she let him lead her into the bedroom. It didn't take him long to help her out of her shorts and push her down onto the bed before he crawled between her legs as she settled back against the pillows and he started nibbling and kissing her thigh. Inching his way up, he loved how her back arched and she grabbed fists full of the sheets as he dived into her, his warm breath tickling her soft skin, when he spoke his words vibrated against her making her gasp and then shudder. As she started to shake he fumbled at the waist of his own shorts because he knew what she liked, it was swift and while she was still gasping he always slid into her. If he timed it right, and tonight he did he could feel her spasm around him as she wrapped her legs around his waist and tilted her hips up so that every possible inch of him could feel her muscles squeeze the love out of him. "Come on Baby." She growled at him. "Come on." It never lasted a long time, making her orgasm pushed him pretty close to the edge, feeling that orgasm the moment he entered her finished him off and they didn't care.

"Well that's a relaxing way to start the week?" Iris muttered, still a little dazed and breathless.

"Plenty more where that came from."

"Crazy boy."

"Love my Wombat."

Iris melted into his side, craving his warm skin next to hers. She drew circles around his belly button, tugging at the wiry little hairs and let the quiet sounds of his breathing, the birds outside and the distant rumbled of the water take her away. Colton didn't move until she was well and truly asleep and he slipped out of bed, leaving her with her kiss on her beautiful dark hair. He pulled a rug over her, taking one last look at his sleeping beauty and crept from the room.

Rather than start on some work he grabbed another beer and took it outside. Standing on the edge of the deck he stared out at nothing and tried to let his mind go blank. He had to not think for a moment. Everything was so out of control lately he barely had time to take it in and think about how it had affected him. Being worried about Iris, having to deal with her family who were intense at the best of times had drained him a little and these two weeks with just him and Bug were perfect. No interference, no one telling him what he should and shouldn't be doing. They stressed Bug out and she took it out on him and he just had to suck it up. It wasn't fair, he was doing his best but at times he felt like he was just lost in the mix and people were blaming him. Somewhere along the line he and Xavier just blurred together and that made him angry.

While Iris would take her bad mood out on him when people were around but when they were alone she let him in and tried to explain to him that it was just easier this way. To let them go on their rants because trying to stop them served no purpose. He'd been shitty with that. "How about you fucking stand up for me? I'm doing my fucking best."

"I know and I appreciate it." The only person that was on his side was Pops. He told them to stop being assholes, that they were insufferable and if they couldn't be nice then to get out of his house. Getting away from everyone was good for Iris and also the mental break he needed.

He adored Iris and he wasn't lying when he told Pops that he could see her in his future, but he was worried that the weight of her family would be too much, right now they were wearing him down. They loved her, he couldn't blame them for that, she was an amazing and beautiful woman and he knew they were overly protective because of their past but he needed them to let him in, they were shutting him out and he got annoyed that Iris would let them. They talked about these two weeks, who would look after her and if Alfie and Lola could arrange time to come up. What about him? He was right there.

They weren't the only people who loved her and were hurting over what happened. He felt guilty enough as it was, he had played the what if game. If he had been with Iris that night perhaps it never would have happened and as Gus kept telling him, if not then it would have been something else. Xavier wasn't giving up. He had set his sights on Iris and nothing was going to stop him. There was a real chance that at some point he would have turned on Colton too. He told Gus that he could have handled him but that wasn't the point Gus was making, Xavier was on a mission to hurt Iris and he wasn't stopping until he had.

Iris had woken up and was surprised she was alone in bed; she threw on a dress and went in search of Colton. She found him outside, staring out over the sand dunes towards the water. His elbows resting on the railing and he looked defeated. It made her panic a little, knowing how hard the last few weeks had been for him she worried that it would be too much, that she would be too much for him.

Slipping her arms around his waist he jumped a little, so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her come out. He grabbed her hands and held them against his chest. "You're awake?"

"I am, and I missed you. What you doing?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"You."

Iris slipped under his arm and squeezed into the space between him and railing. He lifted her up and sat her up on the edge and Iris wrapped her arms around his neck. "And?"

"Oh, just how much I love you."

"I felt it, I just felt it and I feel it every day." Iris's voice wobbled a little. "I'm glad I have you."

"I wish I could have stopped this." Iris put her hand over his mouth and shook her head.

"No, we are not talking about this, not today."

Colton buried his head into her stomach and Iris cradled it against her body. Kissing the top of his head she felt him tremble a little. "Please don't Colton, please don't do this." He was crying and it was breaking her heart. "I love you so much."

"I guess we are stuck with each other then."

"I guess." Iris ran his hands through his hair. "And you feel okay with that?"

Colton looked up at her and just smiled. A smile that reached the very corners of his eyes.

Iris kissed him softly. "You need to feed me."

Colton was capable enough to make a BLT for both of them. Iris sat on the floor, crossed her legs and closed her eyes for a few moments, Colton watched her. She was trying her best to show him that she was okay but he doubted she was.

Neither of them were and they tried to bury it but it reared its ugly head on more than one occasion.

"Who's that?" Colton heard her phone beep.

"Mae."

"What am I doing wrong now?" He sighed.

"Nothing." Iris knew that Colton and Mae had gotten into a few arguments, especially over Iris's decision to come up to the Beach House and why Colton was letting her. "Mae's just checking in."

"Of course she is." He'd asked them to give them some time and space. Iris had let them know they'd arrived, that was non-negotiable, he had always known that. Whenever someone came up here they had to let everyone know they were safely at the house but he was hoping they'd be happy with that and leave them alone.

"They are just worried. It's not a fucking sin."

"Nope."

"What's your problem?"

Colton bit his tongue, he wanted her to turn her phone off for a few days and relax but Iris knew that would freak everyone out. "What about what I want?"

"I'm here with you, what more do you want."

"Someone to give a fuck about how I feel too." It sounded shitty and selfish and it was, but all he'd heard lately was that he fucked up and didn't protect Iris.

"So fucking hard for you."

"You know what Iris; it was fucking hard." Colton sighed. "I don't want to fight about this with you. Let's just drop it."

"Sure."

"Iris, I'm trying. I just want this to be over."

"What? This." She waved her hands wildly. "Me?"

"For fuck's sake, no. Don't be fucking stupid. I've told you how many times that I love you and want to help you and be with you? It's never enough though is it?" He was being irrational. Shoving the sandwich into her hands Iris saw the tears in his eyes. "I want to be enough for you but I don't think I ever will be. I'm sorry."

"You are enough Colt." Iris whispered. "You are."

"Then can we just shut everyone else out for a couple of days and just focus on you and me? That's all I am asking. I know this has been rough for you, terrifying and difficult but I can tell you when I got that phone call from the cops, Iris I thought I was going to lose you. I thought I had."

"I wouldn't be here without you."

"Great, so can we just be us for a few days? Just a couple of days, that's all I am asking."

In the past that's what they'd do, drop it but lately things festered a little. Iris agreed to turn her phone off and while Colton was grateful she resented it and did her best to hide it.

The two weeks was good, they did relax, Colton worked, Iris recovered physically and mentally but heading back to reality was a smack in the face and that's when the hard work started and they struggled to cope.


	36. Life Unravelled

Nobody had any idea it was coming or why it happened.

Iris graduated from college and split up with Colton. It was out of the blue. She took a job in upstate New York; it was a twelve-month contract and before they knew it she was gone. It left everyone reeling and Iris refused to talk about it. Within three months it was all over.

"Bug, what's going on?" Mae had been surprised when she came over to spend the day with Pops and he told her that Colton had moved out. She cornered Iris the moment she came in.

"Nothing."

"Where's Colton?"

"At home I guess." She shrugged. She didn't want to talk about it. It hadn't been an easy decision but something that Iris felt she had to do. The job was too good an opportunity to turn down and she wanted to give it her all.

Colton panicked and wanted to tie her down. He couldn't leave Chicago; he just got a promotion and was also studying again. He suggested they get engaged before she left and Iris had baulked and that had been a slap in the face for him. They were too young and the past few months, since Xavier had turned up had been a bit rough for them. Since he'd finally been charged and sentenced it had crumbled rapidly. Trying to find a balance again was challenging because Colton wanted to protect her and Iris felt like she was being smothered.

Hurt and confused he decided to move out and even though Iris suggested long distance he thought they needed a complete break; he was hurt that she had turned him down despite Iris insisting that she loved him but the timing wasn't right. It had broken both their hearts; they didn't want this but they were stubborn and nobody wanted to make the first move or compromise.

He told her she needed to figure out what she wanted and the thing was Iris wanted it all. Life wasn't like that though and she did the only thing she thought was right, she took the job and in the process destroyed the one good thing she had.

Mae shook her head. "This makes no sense."

"He didn't want me to take the job and he wouldn't move for me."

"Why not?"

"Because he just got a promotion, his work is paying for his study and that's what is best for him." They had tried to work it out, and even the decision to see other people if they wanted too had been like a kick in the guts but they were young, they had time on their side. It was still heartbreaking and they were both miserable. "This job is good for me. It's a year."

"So that's it? Do you still love him?"

"Oh god yes."

"Then why?"

"Back off Mae, we've made our decision, we are okay with it." She didn't tell Mae that Colton had proposed to her, she knew he did it because he was scared of losing her, he wasn't ready to get married, neither of them were. Iris thought he was just trying to control her and she couldn't get that out of her head. She didn't need to be controlled she needed to be loved.

"Are you sure?"

"No I'm not sure…" Her voice shook a little and Mae noticed it despite Iris trying to cover it up. "…but right now this is what we are doing. I guess we will find out soon enough." Iris was having second thoughts but Colton had cut off all communication with her, it was easier for him that way. He was devastated and angry; he'd done everything she'd asked him to do and it still felt like it wasn't enough.

The first two weeks were rough until Iris moved and they got a bit of space between them. She did call him before she left and he asked her to spend the night with him, they booked at hotel and it was a passionate goodbye. Iris left in tears the next morning, lingering on her goodbye until there was nothing more to say. It wasn't the smartest thing they did but it felt right at the time, it was the next day, week and months that it made them feel like utter shit. Maybe they would never be able to put each other in their past, but they felt like they had to try.

Her first week away she cried every night. She missed her family; she was unsettled in a strange place and she missed Colton and the security he always gave her. He was her safe place and now she was without that anchor. She struggled to make friends initially but gradually came out of her dark hole and started to live a little.

One person who was not unhappy was Marchella, lovingly telling her struggling and heartbroken son that she _'never really liked her anyway.' _He didn't talk to her for two months after that comment. He just didn't understand the why his mother was so horrible to Iris, she had done nothing but try to get along with his family.

She came back once, when Lola gave birth. They had always planned that Iris would come back for the birth but Lola went into labour two weeks early and Iris couldn't get away. It was a kick in the guts to meet her little nephew via a video call. He was two weeks old when she flew home for two days to see her family and she fell in love with little William, or Billy as he was known. He was a perfect little bundle of love and the spitting image of his brother, Sam and it made Iris miss her family even more.

Iris had contemplated contacting Colton hoping for another night like the one before she left but would be heartbroken if he rejected her call. It was easier to handle not knowing if he would ignore her call rather than live with the knowledge that he had and it was really over and he wanted nothing to do with her. Her heart was barely scabbed over, ripping it open again wasn't good for anyone.

Lola did tell her that Colton stopped by the house and met Billy and gave her a really sweet present and Sam loved seeing him. Iris didn't know if that made her feel better or worse. He was still just there, so close and yet so far.

Iris compared every guy she met to Colton and James was a nice guy and he was nothing like Colton. He was shorter than he was, not as lean and was a lot more outgoing, he was an electrician and had his own business. They met at a corporate charity golf day which Iris had been dragged into. She didn't love golf; it was kind of boring but it was a nice way to meet some new people. Her first few months in Albany had been a struggle, learning a new job, meeting new people and settling into her small apartment. It was her first job straight out of college and she knew she was lucky to get the opportunity. Being who she was meant that she would give it everything she had, that was in her DNA.

James was polite, he helped her out with her shocking golf swing and they did have a good laugh that day but it still took her two weeks to agree to see him again. It was too soon. She had to put herself out there again, even if it was just to meet new friends. Iris couldn't relax though, even from her first date she had started to worry about when he would want more. He made it quite obvious he didn't want to be in the friend zone and that's where Iris put him.

Gradually he wore her down and she did enjoy spending time with him. Every now and then though things knocked her backwards. James invited her to a birthday party for his best friend's girlfriend. Iris was hoping to hide in plain sight a little bit, she could be whoever she wanted to be and nobody knew her. What worried her though was that James was starting to want more from her. He told her it was casual and to bring her swimmers. Iris panicked a little, she knew he wanted to sleep with her and being nearly naked wouldn't help her cause. She eventually bought herself a one piece but it didn't actually cover her tattoo completely and she was hoping that he wouldn't ask about it.

One thing Iris hadn't told him was much about her family. He knew she had three sisters and a brother and she often talked about Sam, Poppy and Billy and how much she missed her nephews and niece. She hated that Billy was so small and she was missing out on his little life, he was racing through his first few months of life and changing constantly and she was missing it all. Lola sent her photos and videos all the time and she facetimed them on a Sunday night but it wasn't the same.

Surprisingly James either didn't bother to check her out or if he did he said nothing. Iris told him she didn't use social media and often talked about Gus and Rhiannon and he assumed that they were her parents. Iris didn't bother to correct him and just wasn't ready to let him too far in. She was scared, plain and simple. And that told her everything she needed to know, she wanted to tell Colton about her family and had spilled the beans very early because she trusted him and felt some immediate connection to him, now she was desperate to avoid it. She was trying to force things and it wasn't working.

Her heart had been broken and she had no idea how to fix it. Walking away from Colton had been a mistake but her pride didn't let her go back, not yet. If he was doing well and moving on it wasn't fair to drag him back just because she couldn't do the same and the issue remained the same, he was back home and unable to leave and she was hours away trying to find her way in her first real job.

"I wasn't expecting that." He tickled her side when she took her top off ready to go for a swim and he saw part of her tattoo.

"Why would you?" Iris was even surprised by the shortness of her reply.

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I just forget I have it sometimes." She lied.

"What does it mean?"

"Not much, just like it." Iris jumped in the pool, she needed not to talk about it. She missed them just as much as she missed Colton. "You coming in?" she did feel guilty and she did like him but letting him in was a bridge too far.

When Iris relaxed she had to admit that James made her laugh, they mucked around and Iris let him grab her around the waist and pull her in for a kiss. "You confuse me."

"Why?"

"I don't know what you want from me."

"Why does it have to be anything?" Iris pushed him away. "It always has to be something."

"Hey Iris, I like you. I thought we were enjoying ourselves; can we just do that?" He was annoyed. "It's a party after all."

"Sorry."

Later that night, after they'd all had a few drinks he sat outside with Iris and tried to break down her walls. "I saw a look on your face when you mentioned that tattoo, why don't you want to talk about it? It's more than you just like it, I can tell."

"I never said I didn't want to talk about it. It's nothing really." She stared at him for a while. "It's my family, my sister's and brother." That's all she felt like telling him and she knew that was wrong but she pushed on. James looked happy and that made her feel bad. "It's four animals, one for each of us. A Leopard, Rhino, Giraffe and Wombat."

"Which one are you?"

"Guess?"

"Giraffe."

"Why? What makes you say that?"

"Beautiful, graceful, calm."

Iris actually laughed, she had such a beautiful laugh and it made him smile. "I'm the wombat, short fat and hairy."

James snorted. "So not like you."

Little by little she was letting him in but sharing it with him wasn't the same as when she shared it with Colton. "I was born in Australia."

"Really? I never would have guessed."

"I left when I was three." Iris had enough of the conversation. "So, you want another swim?" They had been sitting outside around the pool where it was quiet, it was dark now and Iris hoped that the alcohol and darkness might make her feel less anxious.

"Skinny dip?" James asked hopefully.

"Yeah, nah not happening." They did however make out a little, it was as far as Iris let him go and she did try and ignore those nagging thoughts in her head that these were not the hands she wanted touching her. She stopped him quickly when he wanted to slide his hands down the back of her swimmers and he didn't complain. Iris gave him boundaries and he respected them. When he pulled her close though he made it very clear that he was happy to be here with her.

She had jumped into bed so quickly with Colton, not for any reason other than they were young and carefree and she wanted to sleep with him. He turned her on very quickly and she was besotted with him. The love followed soon after.

James had to work hard to get a reaction from Iris and eventually she felt comfortable enough to go home with him. He was patient with her, he was sweet and Iris hated it and felt guilty for leading him on. It felt all wrong but she pushed through thinking that if she broke the seal it would all be okay. Several times he asked her if she wanted to stop but Iris kept pushing on. He tried to ignore her lack of enthusiasm and stayed in bed for a while when he felt her get out. He was waiting to hear the door close behind her but she didn't leave and he found her staring out the window.

Iris jumped when she felt his hand on her back. "You okay?"

"Yep. Sorry did I wake you?"

"Well, yes. I thought you'd gone." He kissed her shoulder. "I'm worried about you."

"Let's go back to bed." Iris forced herself to go back to bed. If they stayed out here he'd want to talk. "I need sleep."

"Sleep?"

"Yes, sleep." It was the best Iris could do and she did like having someone's arms around her as long as she could forget who it was. It wasn't fair to him and it was all she could do not to cry. As soon as she woke she scrambled out of bed, the fear that he'd want to have sex again propelled her into the shower where she knew she was hiding and hoping that he wasn't going to want to join her.

James made her breakfast and then called her out. "This is not what you wanted to happen was it?"

"What?" Iris stared at him for a moment and his gaze was steady and steely. She couldn't lie, to him or to herself. "I thought I was ready, but I am not."

"Ready for what?"

"All this."

"What someone to care about you and want to spend time with you?" James was angry. "It's not a fucking sin. You are making me feel like I forced you into this, you could have said no, you'd done it plenty of times before."

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to like it, I really did. This is all my fault." Iris ran her hands over her face. "It's been a really tough year." It all came rushing out and she felt like shit. It was gutless, she should have been honest with him from the start. This felt like a copout. "I was stalked by a guy, for a few months and he ended up drugging me in a bar one night. It was intense and it put a lot of strain on my relationship. I'd been with my partner for two years. I didn't handle the pressure very well, neither of us did and then this job came up and we called it quits and I came here and I am trying to move on from him but it's harder than I thought. I'm like this walking fucking sack of misery and I hate it. I hate that I made you feel like shit."

"Why didn't you tell me? I feel like a dick for pushing you into this."

"I needed it, I needed someone to push me because I would have just wallowed. I miss my family, like they are my whole life."

"Is that why they are tattooed on your side?"

"They are tattooed on my side because my sisters and brother are all I have. They are all I have ever had." She pointed to the sweet pea and gumleaf on her upper arm, tears streamed down her face and James felt bad for her. "These are for my Mom and Dad, I lost them when I was three."

"Lost them?"

"My parents died when I was three. We are all we have and I hate being away from them. They raised me, with my grandparents and my Pops is getting really old and I'm scared that I am not there for him. I owe them everything."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He was very sweet, even if he was a little hurt. He felt used but he pushed it aside because he did really like her. Leaning over the table he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand softly. "I wish I had known."

"I'm sorry."

"Your ex? Do you still love him?"

"Doesn't matter. I haven't spoken to him in months. We both decided to move on."

"It's not what I asked?"

Iris was a bit stunned; she had tried not to think about it. It hurt too much to think about Colton. "I think some part of me always will."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Hey, you didn't…" He lied."…but I am glad I know now before I do get hurt. I really like you Iris and if I wasn't worried that I will fall in love with you I'd say I'd like to be your friend, but honestly I can't." He stood up and tilted her head up with a finger under her chin and kissed her softly. "Thanks for last night, I really liked being with you."

Iris cried all afternoon. She had never felt so alone and useless. James was a nice guy, he had even driven her home and hugged her before she got out of the car. "I'm sorry."

"Hey Iris, if, by some miracle you stop loving this guy who let you go let me know." He kissed her cheek and wiped away a tear that trickled down her cheek. "It's okay. I don't hate you."

Perhaps it would have been better if he did, it just made Iris feel worse.

It wasn't the end of her relationship with James, if you could call it that. They had no plans to catch up but they bumped into each other one night in a bar and had a few drinks and wound up back at his place again. The sex was better this time because Iris wasn't worried that James would want something more. She had made it very clear to him before they even left the bar that this was just casual sex, it didn't mean anything and they were just having fun. Whether he wanted it or not that was all Iris was offering and he couldn't say no. She was beautiful and had an incredible body and he was male after all. It happened a couple of times and for weeks in between he never heard from her.

James did hope that it might grow into something but she dashed his hopes every time.

Every time it happened it brought Colton back into her thoughts and she had worked so hard to push him out of her mind. As much as she enjoyed the sex with James, she didn't crave it like she craved Colton's touch, kisses and his body.

Early on she would often think about him and fantasize about how he used to take control and how he always made her feel the centre of the universe. When she talked to her family she asked if they had seen him. He had stopped in to see Adam a few times early on but didn't talk about Iris and they felt rude prying into his life. Adam had no such qualms and straight out asked him 'What the fuck are you doing?"

"Trying to work and study and forget a little bit."

"Why do you want to forget her? That's my Bug, you told me you loved her."

Colton looked at him sadly. "I think I will always love her. I still have hope."

"Then why? I don't understand. If you love her what the fuck are you doing here?"

"It's what Iris wanted. She had to go take that job, it was a great opportunity straight out of college. It wasn't fair to hold her back; I want her to succeed and be happy." It was too hard to see Adam and her family and he stopped visiting. He missed Adam though, he loved the old guy he had always made him laugh and he hated seeing the disappointment on his face when he was talking about Iris. If anyone was going to miss Iris as much as he did, it was Adam.

He had tried to see other people but he had been an asshole by just walking away and never calling them or doing the old 'it's not you, it's me' line. He was in love with Iris and no matter what he did to move on he couldn't, in all honestly he probably didn't want too.

When he bumped into Alfie and he had told him that Iris was struggling he felt like shit. Alfie told him about her job but not about James. He had visited her not long after her first time with James and she had spilled her guts about her attempt at a new relationship and that it was a disaster. Alfie didn't tell Colton any of that, he didn't need to know. He did tell him, however that the job wasn't going well for her, the girl she had replaced came back early and she had been shoved aside and put into another role that wasn't teaching her anything, she was now basically a receptionist and that she was miserable.

She hated it but wasn't about to quit, no matter how shit she was treated, that was not who she was raised to be. You did your job, whatever it was until it was done and then walk away with your head held high. No one was going to come back and say that Iris Hollister didn't give it 100percent.

Another attempt at dating had been horrific and they guy she had been set up with seemed to assume that Iris was going to be an easy lay, he got pissed and groped her and then got angry when Iris told him to fuck off. She had days of abusive messages and it made her feel worse than she already did.

Her life had unravelled in spectacular fashion.


	37. Fixing Stupid

Iris cried and she sat and stared at it for an hour.

A picture of a wombat.

She had started looking at his Instagram again after forcing herself to ignore it for a while, hoping that time would heal some of her broken heart, it wasn't supposed to hurt this much. She hadn't posted much since she had been in Albany, a couple of shots of some day trips that she had taken but nothing serious, she had always insisted that her IG account was about happy things, fun and light and so far very little had fit her criteria. Colton hadn't posted much either, he had liked a few pictures that Lola and Mae had posted with the kids and Pops and he commented on Alfie's posts about a couple of new births he'd had at the zoo.

She was so close to calling him, instead she just liked it and sent back a broken love heart. It had thrown her for a loop though and it was all she could think about. She assumed she knew what it meant, but why now? Why after almost six months did he choose this moment to reach out to her, and why of all the times she hadn't looked at Instagram did she choose the same day as he posted it to finally decide to spend an hour trawling through her past?

He hadn't deleted any of the photos taken with her. They were all still there and she smiled at all the sweet moments they had shared. It was nice that Colton hadn't wanted to erase any of their past. His account was private though and Iris was glad she was still able to see it. Her biggest fear was that one day he'd block her from his life forever. Maybe that's why she didn't look at Instagram much, she didn't want to see the finality of their failed relationship. A relationship she chose to walk away from.

Two days later he was on her doorstep. Just him and an overnight bag.

Alfie had called him when he posted it and told him to go and see her. He was sick of them moping about over each other and he was annoyed that he was teasing her by posting something like that and doing nothing about it. "What the fuck are you doing? If you really love Bug, you'd go see her." Alfie warned him; he was pissed with him because he knew how that would confuse Iris. "Don't fucking mess with her head like this. You are hurting her."

Iris was stunned, she had been out having drinks after work but it wasn't late when she got home. Teisha had begged her to come out to a bar she was going to hit up and Iris promised her she'd think about it but had to go home first and get changed. She was still in her work clothes and had no intention of going out in her uniform. "Oh…." She gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as she came around the corner and found him sitting next to her door, waiting.

Colton nervously jumped to his feet. "Hi Bug."

Iris flew into his arms; she couldn't believe he was here and she just clung to him, breathing him in for a few moments. Colton could feel her shaking and he just held her tighter, "It's okay Bug, I'm here."

Her hands shook as she fumbled with the keys to her apartment and Colton had his hand on her shoulder which made her even more nervous. Just his touch and closeness was making her weak at the knees. As she stepped inside Colton dropped his bag just inside the door and grabbed her arm, pushed the door shut with his foot and pushed her up against it.

Grabbing her face between his two hands he just looked at her beautiful face. "I don't know about you but can't do this anymore; I can't not be with you." The kiss was hard, fast and passionate and it only took them a few seconds to start to claw at each other's clothes. "Where's the bedroom?" Colton growled in her ear. He would have done it against the door, like the first time but he wanted to savour that beautiful body, he wanted it to last as long as possible and he wanted to see all of her. This was them; this was how they first fell into bed with each other, hard and fast. They could talk later.

Iris didn't say a word, she led him through her small apartment to her bedroom and stripped off his shirt. "Colton.." she whispered. She couldn't quite believe he was here. "How?"

"It doesn't matter Bug, I'm here."

Iris rested her head on his chest briefly, listening to his heart thudding in his chest. "I've missed you, so much. I can't breathe."

Colton picked her up and dropped her on the bed. He hovered over her half naked body. "Look at me." He demanded when her eyes squeezed shut to stop the tears. It made his heart ache and soar at the same time. "I love you Bug. I couldn't stop, I don't want to stop loving you. I don't care how far away you are; you are here…" he grabbed her hand and held it over his heart. "…you belong here."

"When I saw that wombat..." Colton placed one finger on her lips and she kissed it.

"I know." They didn't move from the bedroom for the next few hours. Her phone rang, she ignored it, she knew it would be Teisha asking her where she was. It wasn't important, nothing was as important as what they were doing right now. They just had it, some insane connection that no matter how hard they had tried to deny it they couldn't. They hadn't spoken for six months and it was like they hadn't spent a day apart. They were breathless, sweaty and desperate not to lose contact with each other.

"I can't believe you are here. I feel like I am dreaming." Iris ran her hands over his face. "I thought about you every day, I tried to make this work and I couldn't."

"Hey, Bug. This will be good for us; it was good for us. It was tough, but we had to do it, we had to try and now I know, now I really know what I want." Colton was playing with her hair, spread out on the pillow. He just wanted to touch her. "For so long I was scared to tell you because we made this decision and I wanted to respect you and I wanted you to be everything you wanted to be."

"So what now?"

"Well hopefully more of all this." He ran a hand over her body. "I forgot how good that feels, how good you feel, how good we feel together and tomorrow we will talk about what we do now. I'm here until Sunday." He stopped all of a sudden, pulling back a little so he could see her face. "That's if you want me to stay. In case I didn't make it clear earlier, I know what I want and I want to be here with you."

"I want you to stay." Iris put his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. "I don't want you to go, ever. I want to chain you to the bed, lock the doors and have my very wicked way with you."

"You know, I'd let you."

"This place doesn't feel so empty and lonely now." She squeezed her eyes closed tightly but he saw the glistening tears on her eyelashes. "I felt so alone and lost, I miss Pops, I miss Chicago and my family. And you, I missed you so much it hurt to breath some days. I didn't think I could do long distance but that would have been so much better than this life I tried to make myself like. I hated it."

"That hurts. I hoped that you were at least happy. I always wanted you to come back to me but if you didn't I wanted you to be happy."

"I am happy, right now I am happy. I'm so happy. I can't believe you are here. " Iris was a little giddy. "You are here until Sunday and I don't want to move. I don't want to close my eyes; I don't want to waste a second in case it is a dream."

"Ah Wombat…It's not a dream." He didn't often call her Wombat he saved it for moments when she was at her most vulnerable, when he wanted her to stop and really listen to him. Wiggling down a little he kissed the wombat in her tattoo and whispered. "Nothing's changed, I still love you. I will always love you." He didn't stop there, his kisses continued and Iris was in heaven, she had missed this. Nothing compared to Colton loving her. He took his time, savouring every inch of her, relearning how she felt, remembering what she liked, what she felt like, what she tasted like, his hands wandered, his lips followed and Iris turned to putty in his hands.

"We were stupid weren't we?" Iris was sitting up beside him, legs crossed and one hand running over his taut stomach, she just wanted to touch him. Colton hooked one hand behind his head and was enjoying looking at her again and feeling her hands on him, they could roam wherever she wanted to roam. Being in bed with her was his favourite place in world, being anywhere with his wombat was his favourite place to be.

"It wasn't our smartest decision. This was my best decision though."

"Coming here?"

"Coming back for you. I was so nervous. I bumped into Alfie last week and he told me that you were doing it rough. I didn't know what to do so I posted that picture and hoped you understood. If you hadn't replied I don't know what I would've have done."

"I wanted to call you."

He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers. "I wish you had. I picked up the phone to call you so many times, I missed talking to you, I missed the sound of your voice. When I passed an exam I wanted to call you and tell you because I loved that and how happy you always were when I did something good."

"I've always been proud of you. I would have loved to have known."

"I know, but we decided to live apart and I didn't want to ruin anything for you."

Iris unfolded her legs and straddled him. "You ruined everything for me." Pinning both his hands above his head and leant forward and wiggled down a little bit until she was in the best position for both of them. Before she even kissed him he was reacting to her. "I am so happy you are here."

"I can tell." He let Iris do the work. Her hands were on his chest and Colton held her hips, digging his fingers into her flesh. "Oh Iris." He growled as he increased her speed. Tipping over the edge Iris gasped as Colton held her still and watched her whole body react to her orgasm, he loved that he could still do that to her. He followed her; he'd follow her anywhere. When he bought her that coffee he wasn't ready to meet the love of his life but Iris made it impossible to walk away. She was the very best part of him.

Iris dragged herself out of bed to order them some dinner. Pouring them both a bourbon she waited for Colton to finish in the bathroom. Checking her phone she saw a missed call from her friend, Teisha and a message from her asking her where she was. She replied quickly telling her that something had come up and wouldn't be making it and she knew Teisha wouldn't care. Teisha was a party animal, she wouldn't care if Iris was there or not, it wouldn't ruin her night and it wasn't the first time that Iris had bailed at the last moment.

Something made her hesitate though. What if this turned out to be a farewell fling? What if Colton told her on Sunday that this was it, it was over. She started to panic and that's where Colton found her, leaning on the kitchen bench, breathing heavy and shaking.

"What's wrong?"

"This…" she gasped. "…I'm being stupid, I've been stupid."

"Bug, just breathe." He reached out for her and she shrugged away from him. "…Bug, come on."

"I'm scared, I was just thinking. What if this is it? What if this weekend is all we have now? What if this is goodbye?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You missed me, you've had me now, and perhaps it will make you realise that you didn't really miss me all that much. Are you just going back to Chicago and that's it?" She was panicking and rambling and Colton usually found it amusing when she was like this, not right now though. Now he knew she needed reassurance rather than mocking, like he tended to do when she went on a rant.

He kissed her hard to stop her talking. "Is that what you think?"

"I am supposed to be going out on a date tomorrow night. It's a blind date. I don't want to go, but I felt like I needed too. The last time, it was awful. I dated a guy for a while. The sex was awful at first…" she rambled. Iris had no idea if Colton had been with anyone else. They weren't together, that's what they agreed but she had hated it. "…if you are just going to walk out of here on Sunday and that's it then you can go now and I will move on. I will have to."

Colton hated how jealous he felt that she admitted to having sex with someone else, even though it was stupid because it wasn't like he hadn't and he also hated that she was supposed to be going on a date the very next day. He swallowed hard and took a moment which only served to make Iris panic even more. "I am leaving here Sunday because I have a job to go to on Monday but I am leaving my heart here with you. I came back for you, not just for this weekend, I came back for you because I want you in my life, not just now but forever. I don't want you to go on anymore dates. I want you to tell whoever to kick rocks. I love you Iris; I wouldn't come here and do this to you if I wasn't sure of what I wanted. The only reason I'll leave on Sunday as a single man is if you tell me this is not what you want. If you tell me I am not who you want to be with anymore." It was Colton's turn to ramble.

"I want to come back to Chicago."

"Okay, that doesn't answer my question though? Are you coming back to me?"

"Yes."

He stepped forward and Iris let him hold her. He held her against his chest, her body was tense, her hands clenched tightly between them. "Just breathe Bug. It's going to be okay."

"I don't know what to do?"

"With what?"

"I hate it here."

They decided to sit down and talk about this now while they were waiting for dinner. Iris was disillusioned with her job; the first four months were great but the past few months had disappointed her but she didn't want to quit but she missed her family and had only been home once to see them. The best weekend she'd had here was when Alfie came up to stay. She had friends and they did invite her out but she was lonely most of the time.

"I think you should stick it out, you've made it this far." Colton wanted her back in Chicago but knew how important it was that she finished her contract. It would stand her in good stead in the future, people would see that she wasn't a quitter. Iris had the opportunity to step straight into a role at BraveHearts but she didn't want a leg up because of who her mother was, she wanted to earn her own way. Eventually she would like to work with them but she had to get experience first and that's what she was doing here.

The job wasn't what they promised though but they had made it very clear that they weren't terminating her contract because they'd have to pay her out so they may as well find work for her to do, even if it was menial. "And trust me, it kills me to say that. I know why you took this job, to prove yourself and more than anything I want to see you succeed, in everything you do. You've always supported me, let me do this for you. I'll support you, even though I am hundreds of miles away."

"I'm just a glorified receptionist." She explained what had happened with the job and the girl coming back early. She didn't talk to Iris, ordered her around and taught her nothing. She had no idea what changed but soon realised that the person who came back was difficult to work with and didn't care about other people's feelings. She told Iris she wasn't here to teach her she was here to get a job done. "It's awful."

"Have you talked to anyone?"

"I tried, but she's been there a long time and she does get the job done. She's great at her actual job, it's everything else she sucks at."

"I'm sorry this is shit for you. You were so excited about the job."

"The first few months were great, I learnt so much, everyone else was so helpful but it's like she scares them or something and they have just stopped bothering with me. It's kinda toxic." Iris sighed. "I've got five months to go. It feels like forever."

"You can make it. You are like fucking steel. Look who you are, a Ruzek Hollister, look at what you've been through and how amazing you are."

Colton jumped up when the doorbell rang and paid for the pizza, Iris had ordered his favourite and he liked that and while they ate they talked more about Colton's job and his study. Iris was always interested in hearing about his job and what he was doing. He loved that she cared enough to listen to him, she didn't really understand much of what he was talking about but that didn't matter, she always knew what was going on with him and it felt weird that she didn't know anything anymore. It was like they were learning about each other all over again.

"Why don't you come home for a weekend?" He asked her suddenly, reaching over and wiping some tomato sauce from the side of her mouth. "Come and see the mob. They miss you; I know they do."

"I can't afford it." Iris's job didn't pay well, and living by herself, which had been her choice but didn't leave her with much after she'd paid rent and utilities. Iris had money in a trust but she didn't want to touch that for things like food and living, that was for her life. She also had property; Gus had managed that side of their inheritance well but that was tied up. It gave her a little bit of income but most of it was re-invested.

"I'll pay for you."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You are not asking I am offering, I want to see you, either you come home or I come back here. Either way I am spending the money. If you come home you will see everyone else, and I know they would love that."

"If I come home, I won't see you." Iris knew that they would monopolise her.

Colton knew how to push her buttons and get her to agree. "Come home and see Pops, he misses you so much and the kids are growing up and I know you want to see them, I bet you've barely seen Billy. I don't mind sharing you with them, I never have." While he struggled with her family when they were dealing with the fallout from the drink spiking, it wasn't because he didn't like them or appreciate Iris's relationship with them. It was always going to be a big part of their life together.

Iris nodded; she'd love to see them.

"Speaking of family, how's your mother?"

"Ah…she's great."

"I bet she's missed me?"

"She was devo'd." Colton sighed. "Can we not talk about my mother please. It's a mood killer." His relationship with his mother got worse, not better since he had broken up with Iris. Her gloating and slagging off about Iris had made him angry. He was hurting as it was, having his mother rubbing it in didn't help. Marchella was desperate to see her son but Colton had refused for a while. He had been in contact with her recently but it remained strained. She wouldn't be happy to know he was with Iris now and he had no intention of telling her any time soon.

Sleeping next to him again felt so familiar, he wrapped himself around her. Even when he moved away during the night he never lost touch with her, he'd move and Iris would follow him, a hand or leg entwinned, just touching each other, making sure they were still there.

Colton didn't need to open his eyes the next morning to know that Iris was watching him. "I'm still here." He'd felt her move.

"Just checking."

"Kiss me." Iris did as she was told. Long and slow but he knew she had something on her mind. "What you thinking about?"

He opened one eye and watched her curiously as she was chewing her bottom lip. "Before I left, you…" she was nervous. "…you know proposed."

"Yeah, I did."

"Where do we sit with that?"

"Well, I think we both know it was a rash decision, I was scared of losing you, I wanted you to stay."

"So you didn't want to marry me?"

"No I did, I still do, but we are not ready Bug. We've got to sort all this out first, and we will."

"Okay."

"Are you okay with that? Do you want to get married?"

"One day." She kissed his nose. "To you. One day I want to have your babies."

He made a tick mark on her back. "Great, same page."

Iris was happy, having someone to talk to about how much she hated being here, how hard her job was had been such a relief. Up until now she felt like she was on her own. Colton encouraged her not to give up and she knew she could talk to him and rely on him to get her through the tough days ahead. She had talked to Alfie and he would always support her but there was a difference between the support and comfort your brother or your friend could offer you and what the person who knew you intimately and passionately could offer you.

It wasn't all fun and games though, it wasn't all about the sex and reconnecting physically, they reconnected emotionally and they talked and the tough conversations weren't fun but they were necessary.

Just because they had made the decision to go their separate ways confronting that each of them had indeed 'moved on' to some degree was more challenging than they thought. They both come out of it a little battered but it felt good to lay it all out on the table so they could put it in the past.

Colton had bought it up first. "You dated someone for a while?"

"Not really." Iris was surprised by his question. They were cleaning up after lunch and had been laughing about a video that she had shown him of Poppy and Sam having a 'conversation' about Billy and the fact he was a boring baby who 'didn't do much', not that Poppy said much, Sam was just using her as a sounding board for his disgust at his baby brother's lack of action. "I guess, sort of. I was seeing a guy for a little while. It was very casual."

"Are you still seeing him?"

"No. I haven't seen him in a while. I met him at a charity golf day and it took a few weeks of back and forth before I agreed to have dinner with him. We dated for about a month before…" she shrugged. "..you know. I was awful to him. I hated it."

"Because it was bad?"

"No, because it wasn't you. I thought I could move on but I wasn't ready."

"Was that it?" He sounded so short and upset, he wasn't enjoying the thought of Iris being in a relationship when he just had hook ups. Having some kind of relationship seemed more considered, like she was moving on from him.

"For our relationship, yes. James wanted more, I couldn't give it to him or a promise that one day I would." Iris looked a little uncomfortable. "We've hooked up a couple of times since."

"Oh." It surprised him how much it bothered him.

"It was casual , he knew it, I made sure of that." Iris felt like Colton was disappointed in her. "The last time was about two weeks ago."

"Will you see him again?"

"Who James, No." Iris was a little hurt he was even asking that. "I told you it meant nothing; it was a bit of fun. He was a nice guy; we had a good time. It was comforting but that was it, we'd hook up and the next day I'd come home and never call him. If I bumped into him out we'd catch up but that's it."

"Okay. So a couple of times, you just hooked up?"

He was making her sound slutty and Iris snapped. "I fucked you after two dates, you didn't seem to mind my sluttiness then."

"Whoa, I didn't say anything. I never said you were a slut."

"You look pissed."

"I know it's stupid to be jealous but I just missed you. I hate thinking about someone else making you happy. You are beautiful and I want you all to myself. Knowing there is another guy out here who has touched parts of you that I adore pisses me off and makes me feel like a dick but I can't help it." At least he was honest. "I know I don't own you, but I kinda want to. I know that's fucked."

"You are stupid." She had the faintest hint of a smile on his face. She liked that he admitted how stupid and jealous he was, that made her feel a little better. That it bothered him meant that she was important to him.

"I know." It was strange how the fact that they'd both had relationships before they met didn't bother him in the slightest but talking about what they'd done when they were technically separated and had agreed to see other people was upsetting. "I'm sorry. I'm being an asshole. Forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you, I kinda like that it bothers you, if you just shrugged your shoulders I think that would hurt more. As long as you forgive me too?"

"For what?"

"For wanting to kill the bitch or bitches you screwed in the past few months." Iris looked serious for a moment. "If anyone of them calls you or hits on you again I will fucking lose my shit. Never point them out to me if we see them, for their own safety."

"Ha. You don't need to worry. If they saw me again, they'd cut my dick off."

"Were you an asshole?"

"Yep, I was a bit of a one-night stand kinda guy, one chick I took off in the middle of the night while she slept. I was worried she'd want to see me again."

"How many?"

"Four." He was honest. "That makes me sound shitty doesn't it?"

"A little." Iris screwed up her nose. "But a little sweet. I am going to pretend that you only acted like that because you couldn't get over me."

"Well it's the truth."

"You are the worst type of guy, the type of guy under any other circumstances I'd hate. You are a prick."

"I am."

"And I love you for it." Iris smiled a little coyly. "And if it helps it was strictly missionary, in a bed, lights off. No banging against a door, no shower sex, nor blow jobs or you know…" She bit her bottom lip.

"Jesus Bug, sounds like a chore."

"It wasn't great, he wasn't very good. Dare I say a bit of a jack hammer." She laughed; it was a little forced but eventually Colton laughed too.

"I think you need some wild sex with me again to make sure that's wiped from your memory."

"James who?" She winked at him. "Don't know who you are talking about."

Iris had one more confession to get off her chest before they were done and could move on. "There was another guy, we just had one date and he was a bit full on. Nothing happened and I think he was expecting more. He was pretty pissed and for a few days he sent me some pretty feral messages. I kinda lost faith in men. None of them were like you."

"That's because I am unique. Do you want me to hunt him down and kick his ass?" He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her tight against his body. "I need to be a bit alpha male, do you mind?"

"No, I really need you to hug me and get naked with me." Iris smiled.

"That I can do." Colton hated that Iris had had such a shit time. That was never his intention when he let her go.

Iris was quiet for a while. "I feel like shit." She muttered. Colton didn't feel much better but they agreed that it was done. It didn't matter what had happened in the past few months. They had both tried to handle their split and move on in their own ways. It didn't work, they hated being apart and now they were both where they wanted to be. Colton offered to make her forget about it and Iris didn't argue.

Their parting was a little bittersweet. Spending the weekend together had been perfect and she didn't want to say goodbye. "I will talk to you later, okay?" He hugged her tightly while they waited for his Uber to the airport. "I love you Bug. I feel like I can breathe again."

Teisha was surprised how happy Iris was when she saw her on Monday but Iris was coy, she didn't give much away. Right now she wanted to keep that close to her chest and just enjoy the memories of a perfect weekend.

Even now, even though everything had changed when she thought about Colton that morning as she got ready for work she cried. He had called her last night when he got home and it had been amazing to see his name flash up on her phone again. It was like falling in love all over again only better because she knew how good it was going to be.

This morning she had sent him a photo of her alone in bed. '_I slept on your side.'_

_'__I have a side?'_

_'__You've always had a side.'_

_'__Keep it warm for me I'll be back soon.'_

Colton organised to catch up with Alfie for a beer the weekend after he got back. It had been very tempting to jump on a plane and hightail it back to Albany but he resisted. They were trying to be sensible about it which was hard when they wanted to be crazy. Iris was worried about the money; she didn't want him to waste all this money flying back and forward.

"Have you talked to Bug?" Colton bought him a drink. He always got on well with Alfie and they had lived together for a while. It had been Alfie telling him that Bug was doing it tough that finally made him man up and go get her back. Alfie had always been black or white when it came to other people's love lives, his love life was a shambles though.

"I did, she seems happier."

"She does?"

"I am assuming that is because you went and saw her. You did, didn't you? Please tell me she is happy because of you?" Alfie loved them together. They were good for each other. He just wanted his sister to be happy and Colton had always been the guy that fitted her best. They worked, they bounced off each other and the push and pull had always been interesting to watch. He hated watching them struggle after the Xavier clusterfuck and when he tried to get involved Iris told him to back 'the fuck off.'

He had tried to talk to Iris about not breaking up with Colton but she was stubborn and the more people nagged her about it the more she dug her heels in.

Colton took a very long pull on his beer, annoying Alfie in the process and then smiled. "I did. Man, it was great, it was so good to see her again."

"And?"

"We sorted our shit out."

"Is she coming home?"

"Not yet, she's going to finish the contract but I think she's okay with that for now. She will be home for a weekend soon. She wants to surprise Pops and the girls."

"Awesome. Well done." Alfie clinked his glass.

"Thanks. We just needed a shove. I never stopped loving her, I just wanted Bug to find her own way." He looked a little wistful. "I'm glad her own way is with me."

"I know."

Iris didn't expect to bump into James when she was out the following weekend. Now that she felt more settled she was happy to just go out and enjoy herself. She jumped when she felt his hands on her waist. "Good to see you." He whispered in her ear.

"Hey" she stuttered and turned her head slightly so that his kiss landed on her cheek rather than her lips. "James, Hi."

"I was hoping I'd bump into you. It's been a while."

"It has. How are you?" She took a step back, putting a little distance between them.

"Good." James looked at her a little curiously as she refused to meet his eyes. "What's up Iris?"

"Nothing. I was just surprised."

"Iris?" He didn't believe her. "You've met someone else?" That hurt more than he thought it would. He was coping with the fact that she was still pining over her old boyfriend, that's why she didn't want to get serious with him but it would sting if she had met someone else and let them in.

"No. He came back for me." She blurted it out.

"And you love him, right? You always did."

"I did."

"Hey Iris, it's okay. I always knew this had an expiration date. I'm just glad it's not some new guy."

"Not a new guy, just the guy who owns my heart. You were very sweet and patient with me. Any other time…."

James placed one finger on her lips. "Don't Iris, my delicate male ego isn't strong enough." He kissed her cheek softly. "Good luck Iris. Thanks for being a little bit of light." Some part of her would be grateful for James.

He was part of her journey, one that led her back to where she was meant to be.


	38. Just a Quickie

Colton could barely focus all day. He kept checking the clock and checking flight tracker to make sure her plane was on time. Iris had sent him a quick message to say she was on the plane and couldn't wait to see him. It had been a long four weeks since he'd turned up on her doorstep and the day was dragging. They had talked every day, sometimes for a few minutes and sometimes for hours.

Reconnecting with Iris had been the best thing he'd done. He couldn't be happier and even his mother had commented in the vain hope he'd met someone new, he didn't bother to tell her it was Iris. He was pretty sure even if it wasn't Iris it wouldn't take her long to start hating whoever he dated next, it was only a matter of time but for some reason her dislike of Iris was next level.

When the traffic snarled he was glad he'd left a little earlier and arrived at the airport just as Iris's plane landed. Was there anything better than seeing the love of your life scanning the crowd for you at an airport then bolting into your arms? "Well hello." He grabbed hold of her legs as she jumped into his arms. "You seem happy to see me?"

"So happy. I missed you." After smothering him with kisses Colton set her down on her feet. "The poor guy I was sitting next to must have thought I was high or coming down off something. I couldn't sit still."

It felt nice to be holding her hand again as they weaved their way through the crowd out to the parking lot. Iris had crammed everything she needed into a carry-on bag which Colton had slung over his shoulder. "So? Dinner? Movie? Visiting friends? Family?"

"No, no, no. Your place. I need to get naked with you, until tomorrow morning at least."

"I like the way you roll."

"I'm so fucking horny." Iris moaned as they pulled out into traffic. "This is one thing I don't miss about Chicago. The fucking traffic."

"Well those two things are related." He laughed. "I missed you too."

Iris was all over him as he drove. "Quit it." He growled at her playfully as he pushed her hand away from his groin. "Look what you've done to me."

"Not my problem." Iris huffed when Colton slapped her hand away as she reached for him again. The last thing he needed was to be pulled over in the state he was in, holy hell he wanted to get her home though. The second thing he would do is take his shoes off. "You know just before the plane landed I took my underwear off."

"Fuck off, you did not."

Iris reached into her bag and pulled out a black lace thong. Swinging it from her fingertips she smiled coyly at him. "Didn't I?"

"Oh fuck Bug, I missed your crazy." He slid his hand over her knee and under the hem of her dress, stopping short of the holy grail which was tough for him and frustrated Iris.

"I just want to streamline things."

Iris had only had a video tour of Colton's place. He had moved recently when something closer to work came up. It was a little bigger than his last place and had two bedrooms and she was looking forward to seeing it. They hadn't talked about where they would live when she came back, whether they would move back in with Pops. Alfie had put in the hard yards and his life was sort of on hold because of it. Perhaps they could ease the burden a bit and they had enjoyed living with Pops in the past. Although it still seemed like a million miles away, Iris had four months left on her contract. "I hope you changed the sheets?" Iris lamented playfully. "I don't want to sleep in your sleazy sex sheets."

"The only sex I've had in those sheets lately is phone sex with you."

"That was fun hey?" Having not spent much time apart it was a completely new experience for them and they made the most of it although it took a little bit of encouragement from Iris to get him to let go of the reins. Sometimes he could be such a stereotypical accountant.

"If you keep talking about it, this will be over before I get it out."

He did get it out, he did still have his shoes on and he didn't care that Iris had lied to him about the underwear, it had the desired effect and it didn't take him long to get them off anyway and they were banging within minutes of walking through the door. Then he gave Iris a tour of his place and Iris noted all the places they had to 'christen' over the next few days, but all she cared about right now was the bedroom.

It was a long night and lazy morning in bed. Colton got up and made them breakfast while Iris showered. She threw on one of his shirts over her lacy panties, it was something else she missed, wearing his clothes. Colton loved seeing her in his house again and in his clothes, she had deliberately not packed much knowing that he would love her in his shirts and she found some old favourites. He was just in a pair of jeans, bare foot making an omelette. "Smells good." Slipping her hands around his waist she kissed his back. "You smell sexy."

"Sweaty?"

"No sexy, like you've done nothing but have sex."

"Well Wombat, you were horny last night remember?"

"Hmm…" This was about to get a little dangerous because her hand was heading south. He had barely buttoned up his jeans and Iris made quick work of them. "Don't you ruin my omelette, I'm hungry."

It was hard to focus and not burn the eggs when she had her hand fairly shoved down his pants. "Are you right?"

"Yep. I missed this?"

"What my omelette's?"

"No, your dick." He couldn't handle it anymore and turned off the burner and set the pan aside. "My eggs?" Iris was a little surprised when he pulled her hand out and pushed her up against the bench.

"Fuck your eggs Iris." He was hard, the eggs were ruined and there was no better feeling than screwing her against the bench, he had missed the crazy sex they used to have. Iris had always been wild and dragged him along for the ride.

Alfie had been roped into keeping this a secret and Iris messaged him to say they were on their way over. They had made the most of the night and morning together but Colton could tell she was keen to see her Pops. He did tease her and tell her she was just using him to get to see the old man and Iris didn't deny it. "I had to pay for my ticket somehow."

"Yes you did, you've only paid one way though, still gotta pony up for the trip back." He locked the door behind them and slipped his hand into hers. He loved having her back in his life, as well as the big things and the sex, it was the little things that meant the most and holding her hand was a little thing and he was in heaven.

"So if we don't have sex again you won't let me leave?"

"If that makes you stay I'll sacrifice myself." He closed the car door once Iris was inside, he loved treating her like a queen. Colton had been bought up by his father to be a gentleman. He knew how to treat women even if his parents rarely showed any respect for each other.

"Who's that?" Adam growled at the doorbell. He hated unexpected visitors, they stressed him out now. Too many times had it been bad news lately. Most people just walked in without knocking, so having the doorbell go was annoying. Alfie told him to be nice.

"It's Colton, Pops." Alfie smiled at both of them when he opened the door. Colt made good on his promise to bring Bug home to see Pops.

"What does he want?" Adam was unhappy with him. He'd hurt his Bug and that was close to unforgiveable. "Don't you remember what he did?" No matter how many times Iris told him it was her idea to split up and move away Adam blamed Colton for not trying hard enough to keep her here. He argued that he did but accepted that Adam was pissed with him.

"You liked Colton. It was Iris's decision, not his. Anyway I bumped into him the other day and told him to come see you." Alfie teased him as he stepped aside and let them in. "That you were grumpy and I'd had enough of you."

"Funny." Pops grumbled as he wandered out of the kitchen. He stopped on a dime and covered his face with his hands to hide the sudden tears. "Oh…"

"Hey Pops." It wasn't Colton that made him cry, it was his Bug. Iris moved his hands from his face. She held them tightly and kissed his cheek. "Are you not happy to see me?"

"Bug?"

"In the flesh. I missed you." She hugged the old man, surprised at how frail he'd gotten. "I love you Pops."

"What are you doing here?"

"Surprising you. Are you surprised?"

"Did you know about this?' He asked Alfie sharply.

"I did. It's good hey?"

"Give an old man a heart attack." Iris led him over to the lounge. "What are you doing here? Are you coming back? What's Colton doing here?"

"Slow down Pops. I'll tell you." Iris chuckled. "Colton and I finally pulled our heads out of our asses and decided we really do quite like each other and he came to see me. I am coming back to Chicago but not for a little while yet. Another couple of months but I wanted to come back this weekend because I missed you, and Colton and everybody."

"Do they know?" He assumed they didn't because they would have been here annoying the crap out of him all morning if they did. He would have a word to Alfie later about keeping secrets. He was too old for surprises; they might just kill him one day.

"No, just Alfie. I got in last night."

"Why did you not stay here?"

"I stayed with Colt."

"Sex?"

"Yes Pops." She rolled her eyes. Nothing had changed with him; he had no filter. They all just accepted it and kept the conversation moving on.

"How long do I have you for?"

"Until Monday. You have to share me with Colt though."

Adam waved his hand dismissively in Colton's direction. "Phooey. He's had enough of you last night and this morning. He shouldn't be greedy. I've known you longer. I saw your skinny bare ass first."

"Thanks for the visual Pops. I promise you've got me all day."

"No, you are staying here. This is your house." He was adamant and neither of them were surprised. Colton offered to go home and grab Iris's bag, he didn't even question it. Sharing Iris with her family was pretty much a given. "He can stay too if he has too, but no sex."

"Ahhh Pops." Iris was not going to cop that and by the look of horror on Colton's face neither was he. He wasn't having Iris here, after a month without her and not having as much sex as they could possibly manage.

"Okay, but not in the kitchen, or on the table or on the floor in here." He waved his hand around. "In the bedroom."

"Okay Pops. I got it."

"And don't break anything, your father used to break furniture all the time trying to get his leg over on your mother."

"Colton's a boring accountant, strictly missionary."

Colton just shook his head as Iris winked at him, he never got used to their crazy conversations with the old man but he had missed it.

"I missed you Bug." His hands were shaking as he reached out and touched Iris's face. "My beautiful Iris, you are still my beautiful little girl." She held his hand on her cheek.

"It's so good to see you Pops. I love you. I missed your crazy ass."

Now that Adam had got over the shock of seeing Iris he was more than happy to play the game. He loved stirring people up. "I want to see Poppy; can you bring her over?" He barked at Mae before she even had the chance to say hello.

'Today?'

"Yes, I might me dead tomorrow." Adam knew he could get them to do anything he wanted by telling them he would be dead soon. "Lola is bringing the boys over."

He hadn't contacted Lola yet, but he knew she would come if he asked.

"Oh My God…" Mae screamed when her sister opened the front door as her car pulled up. She flew out of the car, leaving Poppy sitting bemused in the back seat while her mother was all over Iris. It was only when she called out to her Mom that Mae remembered her. "What are you doing here?" Mae reluctantly let Iris go and helped Poppy out of the car.

"Visiting Pops." She shrugged. "Hi Poppy." Iris was so excited to see her little niece. She had grown so much but she was a little shy and cuddled up to her Mom.

"It's so good to see you." Mae held Iris's hand all the way into the house. "You look good. It must be this place that's making you happy. You should come home." She gave Poppy to her Uncle for a cuddle and Iris felt a little put out, Poppy squealed happily and clapped her hands at Alfie and she barely knew her and refused to go near her. "Fie, Fie." She chanted.

"I will, I am happy to be here."

Colton had gone home to pick up Iris's stuff. They had told Adam they would get it later but he insisted that he get it now before they changed their mind. Patience was not a virtue that Adam possessed. He was never the most patient of people, now he was ridiculously impatient. Rather than argue with him Colton just smiled and told them he'd be back soon.

"So tell me? This is sneaky, why didn't you tell us."

"Alfie knew."

"When did you get here?"

"Last night."

"And? It's nearly lunchtime." Mae tried to sound annoyed, it didn't really matter, Bug was here and that's all she cared about. "We would have come over last night?"

"She was having sex last night." Adam dropped her in it. "With Colton. They are at it like rabbits again."

"Colt?"

"Yes, Colton." Iris sighed. "Thank you Pops."

"What the hell?"

"He came up to Albany about a month ago, he surprised me and so here we are."

"About bloody time." Mae clapped and Poppy cheered because her mother was, she had no idea what she was happy about. It never made sense to Mae why they split up rather than just do the long-distance thing. It was only for a year, if they really wanted too they could have done it. It was petty and stubborn but Iris was young and had to work it out for herself and she was glad they sorted it out eventually.

Eventually Poppy warmed up to her Aunt and Iris loved getting down on the floor and letting her climb all over her. She had just started walking, having taken her own sweet time to get up and going. Iris loved it and Mae was so happy to see Bug with her niece, she'd missed so much of her life.

Lola was so shocked she almost dropped Billy. The poor little boy let out a startled cry as he was squashed in between his Mom and Iris. Alfie had messaged her and said that Pops had the shakes and he was a little worried about him. Adam had insisted that they tell Lola that there was something wrong with him because that would get her over here in the shortest time possible. "This is amazing."

"He's so big." Iris scooped Billy out of his mother's arms and smothered him with kisses. "I wish I'd been here." Iris had flown home briefly when he was born three months ago and watching him grow up on a video screen really sucked. He smelt so good as Iris snuggled into him.

"Yes you did, so come home. Wait, are you home now?"

"No, not yet. I'm just here for a few days." Iris was making faces at Billy. Sam had barely given her a second glance; he was off tormenting Poppy already which was his favourite thing to do. He liked her so much more than his brother because she did something other than cry and 'suck boobies.' Sam was much happier with Poppy; she was a moving target. "I go back Monday."

Lola's eyes bugged out of her head when Colton walked through the door with two bags. "What the hell?" Her head swung around between the two of them. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Iris nodded. "It's a good thing."

"And you are coming home because of him?"

"I am. I can't wait. It's not the only reason but he made me change my mind."

"Neither can I." Lola smothered her sister.

Alfie squashed his bug in the fiercest of hugs once everything had calmed down. He snuck up behind her in the kitchen. "I'm so happy he did the right thing." He had enjoyed watching his sister's together and how happy Pops was, he also enjoyed watching Colton squirm when Pops started lecturing him about whatever popped into his head.

"He did, and I have you to thank." Iris giggled and kissed her brother's cheek.

"Always making sure my bug gets the best, that's my job. And he's the best for you."

Colton had been right; he didn't get anywhere near Iris until they were ready for bed. "Hi Bug?" It was nice to be back in their room, the room that they had lived in for almost two years. They had been happy here; it wasn't the most conventional way when you were young to develop a relationship but it had worked for them.

Being with Iris was nothing like he expected, she was beyond his wildest dreams. While on the outside they seemed to be polar opposites, the wild, fun loving Iris and the serious Colton but beneath the surface they were similar. They loved the same things and could spend hours talking about a movie, a TV show, the latest news, politics or some latest current affair. They loved eating out and Colton had introduced her to things she would never have eaten before and she got him to watch movies or read a book that he never would have touched. Iris was more a thrill seeker and Colton got dragged along, she pushed him out of his comfort zone and he loved just being with her.

They could also just be together and not talk. They were comfortable with each other's quirks and knew when to push and when to just let each other be. Colton worked hard to understand her hidden pain and Iris forced him to be more forgiving to his family. They worked; they had always worked.

Her family could be overwhelming at times, he struggled with that some days but it was never going to change. They were tight, they let you in but when things got tough he felt like he was just hanging on. Being apart though was worse, he wanted to be with Iris, so he needed to suck it up and deal with her family and seeing how happy they were to see her today only reinforced that.

"It was. They were good to you?"

"I'm bringing you home, they love me. Although I did get a bit of grief that it wasn't happening as quickly as they would like." He stretched out on the bed and watched Iris rifle through her bag. "What you looking for?"

"Something to wear to bed."

"Why?"

"Because the likelihood of Pops being in here at the crack of dawn is pretty high."

"True, but you don't need it right now." He patted the bed beside him. "Come here baby."

Iris flopped down beside him and welcomed the weight of him as he rolled on top of her. "Welcome home."

"Are you okay with that?" Adam had declared, over dinner in front of everyone that this was Iris's home and this was where she was coming back to live.

_'__If you don't like that Colton, too bad. She's my granddaughter and she's been away from me for too long. I'll be dead soon anyway then you can do what you like.'_

"I'd live in a tent with you."

They were right, they were woken up by Adam, sitting on the side of the bed. "Just checking that my Bug is still here." He was a crazy old coot and Iris adored him.

"I'm still here Pops, still sleeping." Iris groaned and she knew that Colton would be smiling. "Still love you."

"Good girl."

The weekend wasn't long enough and it made Iris even more homesick. She hung onto Colton at the airport until the last moment. Being at home with her family again made her realise that the next four months weren't worth it. Staying in a job she hated wasn't worth losing out on watching Sam, Billy and Poppy grow up or her Pops. Alfie had come back because Pops was getting old and nothing had changed, he was still getting old. She didn't want to miss anything.

She talked to Colton every day one way or the other. Either via video, messaging or a voice call. Some days they were quick and other days much longer.

Time was dragging for everyone, particularly Iris. She just wanted this to be over and be back in Chicago.


	39. Fly In, Fly Our

Colton could barely focus all day. He kept checking the clock and checking flight tracker to make sure her plane was on time. Iris had sent him a quick message to say she was on the plane and couldn't wait to see him. It had been a long four weeks since he'd turned up on her doorstep and the day was dragging. They had talked every day, sometimes for a few minutes and sometimes for hours.

Reconnecting with Iris had been the best thing he'd done. He couldn't be happier and even his mother had commented in the vain hope he'd met someone new, he didn't bother to tell her it was Iris. He was pretty sure even if it wasn't Iris it wouldn't take her long to start hating whoever he dated next, it was only a matter of time but for some reason her dislike of Iris was next level.

When the traffic snarled he was glad he'd left a little earlier and arrived at the airport just as Iris's plane landed. Was there anything better than seeing the love of your life scanning the crowd for you at an airport then bolting into your arms? "Well hello." He grabbed hold of her legs as she jumped into his arms. "You seem happy to see me?"

"So happy. I missed you." After smothering him with kisses Colton set her down on her feet. "The poor guy I was sitting next to must have thought I was high or coming down off something. I couldn't sit still."

It felt nice to be holding her hand again as they weaved their way through the crowd out to the parking lot. Iris had crammed everything she needed into a carry-on bag which Colton had slung over his shoulder. "So? Dinner? Movie? Visiting friends? Family?"

"No, no, no. Your place. I need to get naked with you, until tomorrow morning at least."

"I like the way you roll."

"I'm so fucking horny." Iris moaned as they pulled out into traffic. "This is one thing I don't miss about Chicago. The fucking traffic."

"Well those two things are related." He laughed. "I missed you too."

Iris was all over him as he drove. "Quit it." He growled at her playfully as he pushed her hand away from his groin. "Look what you've done to me."

"Not my problem." Iris huffed when Colton slapped her hand away as she reached for him again. The last thing he needed was to be pulled over in the state he was in, holy hell he wanted to get her home though. The second thing he would do is take his shoes off. "You know just before the plane landed I took my underwear off."

"Fuck off, you did not."

Iris reached into her bag and pulled out a black lace thong. Swinging it from her fingertips she smiled coyly at him. "Didn't I?"

"Oh fuck Bug, I missed your crazy." He slid his hand over her knee and under the hem of her dress, stopping short of the holy grail which was tough for him and frustrated Iris.

"I just want to streamline things."

Iris had only had a video tour of Colton's place. He had moved recently when something closer to work came up. It was a little bigger than his last place and had two bedrooms and she was looking forward to seeing it. They hadn't talked about where they would live when she came back, whether they would move back in with Pops. Alfie had put in the hard yards and his life was sort of on hold because of it. Perhaps they could ease the burden a bit and they had enjoyed living with Pops in the past. Although it still seemed like a million miles away, Iris had four months left on her contract. "I hope you changed the sheets?" Iris lamented playfully. "I don't want to sleep in your sleazy sex sheets."

"The only sex I've had in those sheets lately is phone sex with you."

"That was fun hey?" Having not spent much time apart it was a completely new experience for them and they made the most of it although it took a little bit of encouragement from Iris to get him to let go of the reins. Sometimes he could be such a stereotypical accountant.

"If you keep talking about it, this will be over before I get it out."

He did get it out, he did still have his shoes on and he didn't care that Iris had lied to him about the underwear, it had the desired effect and it didn't take him long to get them off anyway and they were banging within minutes of walking through the door. Then he gave Iris a tour of his place and Iris noted all the places they had to 'christen' over the next few days, but all she cared about right now was the bedroom.

It was a long night and lazy morning in bed. Colton got up and made them breakfast while Iris showered. She threw on one of his shirts over her lacy panties, it was something else she missed, wearing his clothes. Colton loved seeing her in his house again and in his clothes, she had deliberately not packed much knowing that he would love her in his shirts and she found some old favourites. He was just in a pair of jeans, bare foot making an omelette. "Smells good." Slipping her hands around his waist she kissed his back. "You smell sexy."

"Sweaty?"

"No sexy, like you've done nothing but have sex."

"Well Wombat, you were horny last night remember?"

"Hmm…" This was about to get a little dangerous because her hand was heading south. He had barely buttoned up his jeans and Iris made quick work of them. "Don't you ruin my omelette, I'm hungry."

It was hard to focus and not burn the eggs when she had her hand fairly shoved down his pants. "Are you right?"

"Yep. I missed this?"

"What my omelette's?"

"No, your dick." He couldn't handle it anymore and turned off the burner and set the pan aside. "My eggs?" Iris was a little surprised when he pulled her hand out and pushed her up against the bench.

"Fuck your eggs Iris." He was hard, the eggs were ruined and there was no better feeling than screwing her against the bench, he had missed the crazy sex they used to have. Iris had always been wild and dragged him along for the ride.

Alfie had been roped into keeping this a secret and Iris messaged him to say they were on their way over. They had made the most of the night and morning together but Colton could tell she was keen to see her Pops. He did tease her and tell her she was just using him to get to see the old man and Iris didn't deny it. "I had to pay for my ticket somehow."

"Yes you did, you've only paid one way though, still gotta pony up for the trip back." He locked the door behind them and slipped his hand into hers. He loved having her back in his life, as well as the big things and the sex, it was the little things that meant the most and holding her hand was a little thing and he was in heaven.

"So if we don't have sex again you won't let me leave?"

"If that makes you stay I'll sacrifice myself." He closed the car door once Iris was inside, he loved treating her like a queen. Colton had been bought up by his father to be a gentleman. He knew how to treat women even if his parents rarely showed any respect for each other.

"Who's that?" Adam growled at the doorbell. He hated unexpected visitors, they stressed him out now. Too many times had it been bad news lately. Most people just walked in without knocking, so having the doorbell go was annoying. Alfie told him to be nice.

"It's Colton, Pops." Alfie smiled at both of them when he opened the door. Colt made good on his promise to bring Bug home to see Pops.

"What does he want?" Adam was unhappy with him. He'd hurt his Bug and that was close to unforgiveable. "Don't you remember what he did?" No matter how many times Iris told him it was her idea to split up and move away Adam blamed Colton for not trying hard enough to keep her here. He argued that he did but accepted that Adam was pissed with him.

"You liked Colton. It was Iris's decision, not his. Anyway I bumped into him the other day and told him to come see you." Alfie teased him as he stepped aside and let them in. "That you were grumpy and I'd had enough of you."

"Funny." Pops grumbled as he wandered out of the kitchen. He stopped on a dime and covered his face with his hands to hide the sudden tears. "Oh…"

"Hey Pops." It wasn't Colton that made him cry, it was his Bug. Iris moved his hands from his face. She held them tightly and kissed his cheek. "Are you not happy to see me?"

"Bug?"

"In the flesh. I missed you." She hugged the old man, surprised at how frail he'd gotten. "I love you Pops."

"What are you doing here?"

"Surprising you. Are you surprised?"

"Did you know about this?' He asked Alfie sharply.

"I did. It's good hey?"

"Give an old man a heart attack." Iris led him over to the lounge. "What are you doing here? Are you coming back? What's Colton doing here?"

"Slow down Pops. I'll tell you." Iris chuckled. "Colton and I finally pulled our heads out of our asses and decided we really do quite like each other and he came to see me. I am coming back to Chicago but not for a little while yet. Another couple of months but I wanted to come back this weekend because I missed you, and Colton and everybody."

"Do they know?" He assumed they didn't because they would have been here annoying the crap out of him all morning if they did. He would have a word to Alfie later about keeping secrets. He was too old for surprises; they might just kill him one day.

"No, just Alfie. I got in last night."

"Why did you not stay here?"

"I stayed with Colt."

"Sex?"

"Yes Pops." She rolled her eyes. Nothing had changed with him; he had no filter. They all just accepted it and kept the conversation moving on.

"How long do I have you for?"

"Until Monday. You have to share me with Colt though."

Adam waved his hand dismissively in Colton's direction. "Phooey. He's had enough of you last night and this morning. He shouldn't be greedy. I've known you longer. I saw your skinny bare ass first."

"Thanks for the visual Pops. I promise you've got me all day."

"No, you are staying here. This is your house." He was adamant and neither of them were surprised. Colton offered to go home and grab Iris's bag, he didn't even question it. Sharing Iris with her family was pretty much a given. "He can stay too if he has too, but no sex."

"Ahhh Pops." Iris was not going to cop that and by the look of horror on Colton's face neither was he. He wasn't having Iris here, after a month without her and not having as much sex as they could possibly manage.

"Okay, but not in the kitchen, or on the table or on the floor in here." He waved his hand around. "In the bedroom."

"Okay Pops. I got it."

"And don't break anything, your father used to break furniture all the time trying to get his leg over on your mother."

"Colton's a boring accountant, strictly missionary."

Colton just shook his head as Iris winked at him, he never got used to their crazy conversations with the old man but he had missed it.

"I missed you Bug." His hands were shaking as he reached out and touched Iris's face. "My beautiful Iris, you are still my beautiful little girl." She held his hand on her cheek.

"It's so good to see you Pops. I love you. I missed your crazy ass."

Now that Adam had got over the shock of seeing Iris he was more than happy to play the game. He loved stirring people up. "I want to see Poppy; can you bring her over?" He barked at Mae before she even had the chance to say hello.

'Today?'

"Yes, I might me dead tomorrow." Adam knew he could get them to do anything he wanted by telling them he would be dead soon. "Lola is bringing the boys over."

He hadn't contacted Lola yet, but he knew she would come if he asked.

"Oh My God…" Mae screamed when her sister opened the front door as her car pulled up. She flew out of the car, leaving Poppy sitting bemused in the back seat while her mother was all over Iris. It was only when she called out to her Mom that Mae remembered her. "What are you doing here?" Mae reluctantly let Iris go and helped Poppy out of the car.

"Visiting Pops." She shrugged. "Hi Poppy." Iris was so excited to see her little niece. She had grown so much but she was a little shy and cuddled up to her Mom.

"It's so good to see you." Mae held Iris's hand all the way into the house. "You look good. It must be this place that's making you happy. You should come home." She gave Poppy to her Uncle for a cuddle and Iris felt a little put out, Poppy squealed happily and clapped her hands at Alfie and she barely knew her and refused to go near her. "Fie, Fie." She chanted.

"I will, I am happy to be here."

Colton had gone home to pick up Iris's stuff. They had told Adam they would get it later but he insisted that he get it now before they changed their mind. Patience was not a virtue that Adam possessed. He was never the most patient of people, now he was ridiculously impatient. Rather than argue with him Colton just smiled and told them he'd be back soon.

"So tell me? This is sneaky, why didn't you tell us."

"Alfie knew."

"When did you get here?"

"Last night."

"And? It's nearly lunchtime." Mae tried to sound annoyed, it didn't really matter, Bug was here and that's all she cared about. "We would have come over last night?"

"She was having sex last night." Adam dropped her in it. "With Colton. They are at it like rabbits again."

"Colt?"

"Yes, Colton." Iris sighed. "Thank you Pops."

"What the hell?"

"He came up to Albany about a month ago, he surprised me and so here we are."

"About bloody time." Mae clapped and Poppy cheered because her mother was, she had no idea what she was happy about. It never made sense to Mae why they split up rather than just do the long-distance thing. It was only for a year, if they really wanted too they could have done it. It was petty and stubborn but Iris was young and had to work it out for herself and she was glad they sorted it out eventually.

Eventually Poppy warmed up to her Aunt and Iris loved getting down on the floor and letting her climb all over her. She had just started walking, having taken her own sweet time to get up and going. Iris loved it and Mae was so happy to see Bug with her niece, she'd missed so much of her life.

Lola was so shocked she almost dropped Billy. The poor little boy let out a startled cry as he was squashed in between his Mom and Iris. Alfie had messaged her and said that Pops had the shakes and he was a little worried about him. Adam had insisted that they tell Lola that there was something wrong with him because that would get her over here in the shortest time possible. "This is amazing."

"He's so big." Iris scooped Billy out of his mother's arms and smothered him with kisses. "I wish I'd been here." Iris had flown home briefly when he was born three months ago and watching him grow up on a video screen really sucked. He smelt so good as Iris snuggled into him.

"Yes you did, so come home. Wait, are you home now?"

"No, not yet. I'm just here for a few days." Iris was making faces at Billy. Sam had barely given her a second glance; he was off tormenting Poppy already which was his favourite thing to do. He liked her so much more than his brother because she did something other than cry and 'suck boobies.' Sam was much happier with Poppy; she was a moving target. "I go back Monday."

Lola's eyes bugged out of her head when Colton walked through the door with two bags. "What the hell?" Her head swung around between the two of them. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Iris nodded. "It's a good thing."

"And you are coming home because of him?"

"I am. I can't wait. It's not the only reason but Colton coming back for me was the push that I needed."

"Neither can I." Lola smothered her sister.

Alfie squashed his bug in the fiercest of hugs once everything had calmed down. He snuck up behind her in the kitchen. "I'm so happy he did the right thing." He had enjoyed watching his sister's together and how happy Pops was, he also enjoyed watching Colton squirm when Pops started lecturing him about whatever popped into his head.

"He did, and I have you to thank." Iris giggled and kissed her brother's cheek.

"Always making sure my bug gets the best, that's my job. And he's the best for you."

Colton had been right; he didn't get anywhere near Iris until they were ready for bed. "Hi Bug?" It was nice to be back in their room, the room that they had lived in for almost two years. They had been happy here; it wasn't the most conventional way when you were young to develop a relationship but it had worked for them.

Being with Iris was nothing like he expected, she was beyond his wildest dreams. While on the outside they seemed to be polar opposites, the wild, fun loving Iris and the serious Colton but beneath the surface they were similar. They loved the same things and could spend hours talking about a movie, a TV show, the latest news, politics or some latest current affair. They loved eating out and Colton had introduced her to things she would never have eaten before and she got him to watch movies or read a book that he never would have touched. Iris was more a thrill seeker and Colton got dragged along, she pushed him out of his comfort zone and he loved just being with her.

They could also just be together and not talk. They were comfortable with each other's quirks and knew when to push and when to just let each other be. Colton worked hard to understand her hidden pain and Iris forced him to be more forgiving to his family. They worked; they had always worked.

Her family could be overwhelming at times, he struggled with that some days but it was never going to change. They were tight, they let you in but when things got tough he felt like he was just hanging on. Being apart though was worse, he wanted to be with Iris, so he needed to suck it up and deal with her family and seeing how happy they were to see her today only reinforced that.

"It was. They were good to you?"

"I'm bringing you home, they love me. Although I did get a bit of grief that it wasn't happening as quickly as they would like." He stretched out on the bed and watched Iris rifle through her bag. "What you looking for?"

"Something to wear to bed."

"Why?"

"Because the likelihood of Pops being in here at the crack of dawn is pretty high."

"True, but you don't need it right now." He patted the bed beside him. "Come here baby."

Iris flopped down beside him and welcomed the weight of him as he rolled on top of her. "Welcome home."

"Are you okay with that?" Adam had declared, over dinner in front of everyone that this was Iris's home and this was where she was coming back to live.

_'__If you don't like that Colton, too bad. She's my granddaughter and she's been away from me for too long. I'll be dead soon anyway then you can do what you like.'_

"I'd live in a tent with you."

They were right, they were woken up by Adam, sitting on the side of the bed. "Just checking that my Bug is still here." He was a crazy old coot and Iris adored him.

"I'm still here Pops, still sleeping." Iris groaned and she knew that Colton would be smiling. "Still love you."

"Good girl."

The weekend wasn't long enough and it made Iris even more homesick. She hung onto Colton at the airport until the last moment. Being at home with her family again made her realise that the next four months weren't worth it. Staying in a job she hated wasn't worth losing out on watching Sam, Billy and Poppy grow up or her Pops. Alfie had come back because Pops was getting old and nothing had changed, he was still getting old. She didn't want to miss anything.

She talked to Colton every day one way or the other. Either via video, messaging or a voice call. Some days they were quick and other days much longer.

Time was dragging for everyone, particularly Iris and Colton. She just wanted this to be over and be back in Chicago and he wanted her back with him.

He was planning on another visit, although Pops rang him constantly to remind him that it would be far more efficient if he bought her back here rather than waste his money flying up there to see her.

While it was a good idea, the benefit of flying up to see her was he didn't have to share her.

One phone call…changed everything.


	40. Twisted

Colton sat back in his chair, rubbed his face wearily and took a sip of the lukewarm coffee on his desk. Glancing at the clock on his computer he realised that he had been at it for four hours and really needed a break. He thought about calling Iris, that was always a circuit breaker. It surprised him a little how much better he felt about life now, he had missed her and missed talking to her. She kept him honest and grounded. Without her he spent far too long working and not living.

He smiled when the phone rang, "How did you know I was thinking of calling you?" he chuckled.

"Hi Colton." He didn't recognise the voice. "It's Teisha."

"Where's Iris? Is she okay? What's wrong?" He'd had one of these phone calls before and it had been a disaster. It set in motion this chain of events that led to Iris living in another city and away from her family and him.

"She's just been taken to hospital. She collapsed at work."

"What do you mean collapsed?" His voice was surprisingly calm and Teisha was a little surprised. She expected a different response.

"She had a fever, stomach pains and could barely walk. We called an ambulance, she's on her way now. I am with her."

"Is she awake, where is she?" Now he was starting to panic and his voice went up about three octaves.

"We are almost at the hospital. She's out of it, they have given her some morphine."

"What the hell?" He asked her a million questions which Teisha couldn't really answer. His mind was spinning and he needed to call Lola and get her to call someone at the hospital and find out what was going on. This couldn't be happening again.

"Are you going to come out?" Teisha was well aware how much Iris was missing him and how much she hated being here. So was so much happier though with Colton back in her life. She was like a completely new person now; the change had been startling and she got to see how much fun and outgoing Iris really was.

"Of course." He snapped; he already had his browser open trying to find a flight. He apologised for his harsh response and Teisha told him to forget about it, she knew he'd be worried about Iris. "I'll let you know as soon as I book something."

"I'll stay with her."

"Thanks."

Colton booked a flight, he didn't even have time to go home and get a change of clothes and he didn't care, he'd buy stuff if he needed too. Teisha called him back when she was at the hospital and said they were still examining Iris and couldn't tell her anything so he called Lola.

"Lola, Bug's in hospital, they've taken her in an ambulance, she collapsed at work. Can you call them and find out? Nobody is telling me anything. I am on my way to the airport now." He rushed out all at once and Lola struggled to keep up. He was talking a million miles an hour.

"Whoa Colton slow down. What do you mean she collapsed?"

"I can't Lola, I don't know anything and it's freaking me out. She had stomach pains, she collapsed and they've got her on morphine." Colton barked at her. "That's all I know."

"Appendix? Maybe."

"I don't know." Lola promised to call him back as soon as she could find something out. It was a frustrating wait and a frustrating call for Lola. They were reluctant to give her any information over the phone, just that she was being examined and comfortable. Fortunately Lola was Iris's next of kin. When she moved here she wasn't with Colton and had put Lola down. She hadn't gotten around to updating it yet, it was honestly the last thing on her mind.

"That's unhelpful." Lola cajoled them. "She's my little sister, she's all alone in Albany, she has no family with her. Her fiancé is on his way from Chicago. I'm her next of kin, so you will need to find someone to talk to me."

"I will get the Doctor to call you when he is done examining your sister." Came the snippy reply which did little to impress Lola.

She wasn't happy nor Colton when she told him. The last thing he wanted was to get on the plane and not know anything. If she didn't get an answer soon she'd get someone further up the chain to do her bidding.

He had just sat on the plane when Lola called him. "They are just doing some tests; they've taken bloods and are about to do an ultrasound."

"For what?"

"They are concerned about a few things. Appendicitis is a possibility, but unlikely so they are also checking for a kidney infection, a twisted ovary or …" Lola paused and took a breath, while Colton held his. "…an ectopic pregnancy."

He only heard one word. "Pregnancy?"

Lola knew it was going to freak him out, truth be told it freaked her out a little too and she did think of not telling him but that wasn't fair, he had to be prepared for anything. "It's one of the things they are looking for, an ectopic pregnancy."

"What does that mean?"

"It means the embryo is in her fallopian tube rather than her uterus. It means it's not a viable pregnancy and they will need to operate to remove it. Could Bug be pregnant?"

"I guess so, there is a chance. Not that we were trying or anything, but…." He rambled a little. He was spinning. "…you know…" the rest of the sentence just kind of hung in the air, he didn't really need to say it. Yes, there was every chance she could be pregnant, they didn't exactly worry about protection each and every time. They hadn't been quite so diligent in regards to that.

"Like how pregnant would she be? Three months?" Lola knew what he was asking. He wanted to know if it was possible that Iris was already pregnant when they got back together although she had assured him she always used protection with James and she had had a period since then, but that all flew out the window at the moment.

"No, it's likely just a few weeks, they cause problems pretty quickly. It might not be an ectopic pregnancy though, there are a few things they are looking at. It might still be appendicitis or a torsion of the ovary, or even a kidney infection. We just need to wait until they have all the test results. Do you want me to come out?"

"No, not yet. Hey can you not tell anyone just now? Just until we know what's going on and I see Bug."

"I won't tell Pops." That's all they were worried about. Pops would worry so until they knew Bug was going to be okay they would keep it between them. Both Colton and Lola knew that Iris wouldn't want to stress Pops out unless they had no choice, right now they didn't even know what was going on. Not having answers wasn't going to wash with Pops.

"Hey, thanks Lola."

"Colt, give her a big hug and kiss from us and tell her we love her. I will talk to you when you get there, call me when you land."

"Keep onto them Lola, please."

"Hey, I will."

Lola was going to annoy them until she knew what was going on. As soon as she hung up from Colton Lola called the hospital again and got the run around. It was a tense wait until the Doctor finally called her back. They needed Lola's permission to operate and Lola made it very clear, very quickly that she was a Doctor so he could drop the layman speak and tell her exactly what was going on.

"Is Iris awake?"

"Not really, she was in a lot of pain and we have just given her some more sedation. We've done two ultrasounds, abdominal and transvaginal and are confident that she has a torsion of her left ovary."

"Not an ectopic pregnancy?"

"Highly unlikely. Her bloods don't indicate a spike in her Beta-HCG levels so I think we can rule that out. Her white cell count is low also so infection seems unlikely also. I would be surprised if it was appendicitis. Her urine sample was pretty clear also so I don't think it's kidney related."

"Are they going to do laparoscopic or open?"

"Laparoscopic. Although, as you know it could change depending on what we find."

"Okay. When?"

"She's just heading up now. We want to get in quickly to reduce the risk of necrosis. Ideally we want to preserve her ovary, she's a young woman."

"Absolutely. Her fiancé will be there in another hour or so." Lola agreed that the best thing was to get Iris into surgery sooner rather than later. "I will talk to him. Who's doing the operation?"

"I am. Is that okay with you?" Doctor Willis chuckled. Lola had asked when she first called who was the Consultation on call and had looked him up. "I assume you've done your homework."

"I'm sorry, she's just my little sister and she's so far away and I worry about her."

"Dr Hollister." He had also done his homework. "I promise to look after her."

Colton turned his phone on as soon as he landed. The plane hadn't even reached the terminal and he was calling Lola. "How is she? What's going on?"

"She's in surgery right now. They diagnosed her with a torsion of her left ovary."

"What does that mean?"

"Her left ovary has twisted and because of that there is no blood flow, it's extremely painful. They will make a small incision and un-twist it, it's keyhole surgery."

"So she will be okay?"

"Yes, most likely she will be fine. However there is a chance that the ovary may have been without blood for too long and it may need to be removed, either today or in coming days." She could hear Colton groaning. "Hey, let's not worry about that right now. One step at a time."

"So she's not pregnant?"

"No, Colton she's not pregnant."

"Okay."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know Lola. I am trying not to think about it, I just want to see her. I wouldn't care as long as she's okay, that's all I care about." Colton's voice was shaking a little. "I just need to be there. I hate her being so far away. This shouldn't be happening; Iris shouldn't be alone."

"I know. Call me when you get to the hospital." Lola calmed him. "Hey, remember you are her fiancé, make sure you tell them that, I've already told them you are coming."

"Okay."

He'd lied to Lola; he had thought about it a lot. What would they do right now if she was pregnant? Even though Lola told him that the pregnancy wouldn't be viable he did think about what it would be like to be a parent. It was something he wanted; it was something he wanted with Iris but they weren't there yet. She was desperately trying to establish herself and her career and he supported her completely, that's what got them into this mess of living in separate states.

He worried about what Iris thought, how she felt when the prospect of being pregnant presented itself. Did she know? Did she have any idea? What would she think about all this? Is this something she wanted?

Not having any luggage he was out of the airport and in a taxi in a flash. It wasn't a long trip to the hospital but it felt like it to took forever. He was sent up to a waiting room and when he introduced himself to the desk he was told that Iris was in recovery and being transferred to a room shortly.

There were scattered groups of people in the small room. He spied one lone woman sitting in the corner and she looked vaguely familiar from some photos Iris had showed him so he approached her. "Teisha?"

The woman leapt up and hugged him quickly, Iris had told him that she was a hugger and a kisser which was the exact opposite from Colton. He didn't get the need for it, unless it was from Iris and then he'd take all the kisses and hugs he could get. "Colton? I'm so glad you are here. Iris will be so happy to see you."

"Thanks for calling me. I really appreciate it." He chatted to her for a bit, trying to piece together what happened until they told him he could go up and wait in her room. She would need to spend the night and the Doctors would come talk to him shortly.

Iris was asleep as they bought her in. He stood back and let them settle her into bed. The nurse assured him that everything went well and Iris was comfortable. "She's been awake already but has some pain, she will be sleepy for a while. Someone will be in to talk to you shortly." They kept saying that and he still had no idea what was going on.

It wasn't long before another nurse came in to do some obs. Colton was sitting beside her holding her hand. He'd already called Lola and let her know that he was with Iris now. "How's my patient?" The nurse checked her IV, took her pulse and respirations. She had a quick look at her dressing.

"Still sleeping."

"That's good. Have they talked to you yet?"

"No. No one has told me anything. I know she had a twisted ovary or something."

"Yes, they managed to untwist it easily according to her chart. She's resting comfortably now." The nurse asked him if he needed anything and Colton shook his head. "Try not to worry, she's doing well. It won't be long."

That's all they kept saying, she's comfortable, she'd doing well. What the hell did that mean?

Iris didn't wake when the Doctor came in. He was relieved to know that the operation was successful, they untwisted her ovary and it still looked viable and he could probably take her home in the morning. "However…" Colton's heart fell through his stomach. "..it's unusual for someone Iris's age to spontaneously have a torsion of her ovary, there is usually a reason. Iris had a cyst on her ovary, we have removed it and sent it off to pathology for testing. It looks benign but I do like to check. At this stage I don't expect any complications. Do you have any questions?"

"The cyst? Like cancer?"

"It's routine, I would like to be able to say with 100 percent certainty that it is not cancer but I'll wait for the pathology report." He talked about how common cysts were and that the majority of women had them at some stage and usually they didn't cause any issues and once they were removed they weren't any more likely to have another one. "I will come back to talk to Iris in the morning when she is more awake."

He closed his eyes momentarily and had no idea how long it was but he woke suddenly when Iris started to stir. He leapt up out of his seat and bent over her. "Hey sweetheart." Wiping her hair back from her forehead he kissed it tenderly. "You scared me."

"Hi." She smiled weakly.

"Hi Wombat. What you doing?"

"Colton?"

"Just sleep baby. I'll be right here."

She slept for another hour, the nurse came and went again before Iris woke. She was a little more aware and stayed awake a little longer this time. "What are you doing here?"

Colton jumped up and kissed her dry lips. "Well Bug, you are in hospital, you've had an operation to fix a twisted ovary. Where did you think I'd be?"

"I'm glad you are here."

"What happened?"

"I woke up this morning with a stomach ache but didn't think, it started to really hurt, I think I remember being in the break room, getting a drink, I was really hot." She wasn't particularly coherent. "You are here. I like that."

"I like it too. I missed you. You could have just told me you missed me and I would have come without the dramatics."

"No fun in that." She still looked so out of it, but she kept licking her lips.

"Are you thirsty? Do you want me to see if you can drink?"

Iris nodded and Colton pressed the buzzer so he could get a nurse in and she was allowed to have a drink of water. "Don't you spew on me? Last time you were in hospital you spewed on me."

"I'll try."

The nurse chuckled. They were cute together. This was one of her favourite parts of her job, watching couples dealing with whatever was happening to them. It was always one taking care of the other and you could tell what sort of people they were by how they interacted, or didn't as sometimes was the case. She'd had couples who barely spoke, the visitor didn't move from the chair beside their bed to help, to talk or check on their loved one. It felt like an inconvenience to be there. She much preferred patients who were, like Iris seemed to be, loved and adored and Colton seemed to genuinely care and want to help.

Iris grimaced as she tried to move. Her ass was getting sore already and she wanted to get up. "Can I get up to pee?"

"Sure. I'll help you." Her nurse agreed. The sooner Iris got moving again the better.

"You'll be better than him, he freaks out, fusses and overreacts."

"I love you too." Colton blew her a kiss as the nurse helped her out of bed. He didn't like watching her hobble to the bathroom and distracted himself by straightening her sheets and folding back her blanket so she could get back into bed.

They both laughed when they came back in and saw the bed. "See I told you, he's a fusser."

"He'll do me out of a job. Can't have loved ones doing all my work."

Colton helped her settle back into bed. She was a bit more alert now and sat up a little. He perched on the edge of her bed. "So, twisted ovary huh?"

"Yep."

"The Doctor came in a little while ago, said you did well. He did find a cyst on your ovary which he has removed, that's what caused the twist. It all looks completely good."

"A Cyst?"

"Yeah, it's good though. Don't worry. It's gone."

"Colton…" it was sinking in a little, the enormity of what was happening to her.

"Baby, he said it's fine. It's common but yours decided it wanted out. Do you remember much else? Do you remember them talking about an ectopic pregnancy?" He just couldn't ignore it.

"Not really, vaguely when they told me I needed an operation. I wasn't pregnant was I?"

"No, no you weren't."

"Oh." Iris's lip quivered. "Sorry." She waved him away. "I just feel like shit."

"Hey, talk to me. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I am. Can I still get pregnant? Like now with this going on."

"Well according to Lola you can, if the ovary is okay and we will know in the next couple of days then it should be fine. This is not something you want right now is it? Did you want to be pregnant?"

"Not right now." She couldn't stop the tears though. They tumbled out of her and she felt stupid.

"Hey, Wombat, I'm a little bit sad too."

"It's stupid, there wasn't even a baby and I am sad because there wasn't and I don't want there to be yet but I did kinda want there to be. It doesn't make sense."

"It makes perfect sense because that's exactly how I felt too." Colton cradled her face, letting her tears cascade over his fingers. "I love you so much Iris."

"I think you'd love me more if I was pregnant."

"No I wouldn't. Iris come on, I'm here because I love you no matter what."

"I know, I'm just so all over the shop…" Iris was utterly broken. This had terrified her and being alone while it was happening had been too much. She didn't remember a lot but she did remember being told she needed surgery and all she could think of was that she was alone. "I don't want to be here anymore."

"Then come home, come home with me." Still holding her face he looked at her until he saw the slightest of nods. "Good."

"You talked to Lola?" Iris didn't looked surprised when he nodded.

"I did, when Teisha called I had no idea what was going on so I got Lola to call them, use her Doctor speak and she was your next of kin. She handled all that while I just got on a plane."

"Pops?"

Colton knew Iris would be okay with him not knowing yet. The last thing she would want to do was stress Pops and if he knew and they didn't have answers he would be a wreck. "He doesn't know, neither does Mae or Alfie. We just wanted to take care of you first."

"Thanks."

Colton's phone rang and he wasn't surprised to see it was Lola. He handed it to Iris to answer. "Hey Colt.." Lola started but Iris's sobbing cut her off. "..Bug?"

"Hi Lola."

"Oh Bug, oh my god it is so good to hear your voice. How are you?"

"I'm okay, a little sore and tired but okay."

"Are you sure? What did the Doctor say? It went well?"

"It did, Colton knows more than me I was out of it when the Doctor was here." She looked really tired and Colt didn't want her to spend long on the phone. He hoped that Lola could hear it and keep Iris's operation to herself, at least until tomorrow. If they knew they'd be on the phone and he Iris would talk to them and he wanted her to rest. He didn't want to go down that road again, it had been ugly last time.

"As long as you are okay? You gave us quite the fright."

"Sorry. I'm really glad Colt is here. That was a nice surprise when I woke up."

"He's a good man Bug. Just the right level of panic."

"I can imagine. Hey, I'm a bit whacked, do you want to talk to Colton?" Iris was happy to hear from Lola but really wasn't up to talking at the moment. She just wanted to sleep and be comforted by Colton.

"Sure, you just rest and sleep. I love you Bug, I'm so glad you are okay."

"Love you too Lola Bear." She handed the phone to Colton and he talked to Lola for a bit, telling her what the Doctor had told them. He didn't tell her about the cyst, that could wait until they had an answer tomorrow morning. Iris didn't really listen; she was exhausted and drifting off to sleep again. Colt watched her while he was talking and was just glad she didn't look like she was in any pain.

It was late when Iris finally convinced him to go home, have a shower, get out of his work clothes and get a good night's sleep. "Ahhh….I've got no other clothes?"

"What do you mean?"

"I came straight from work to the airport. I have my laptop and that's it."

"That's funny." Iris smiled and then burst into tears; she was on such an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. "Does that mean you are leaving tomorrow?"

"No, I just need to do a bit of shopping." Colton assured her. "You need some TLC for a little while yet."

"What about work?"

"I've got my laptop. I can still do some work. Don't worry about that." He waited until she was finally asleep, they had given her something to help with the pain and it knocked her out, which he was grateful for. Having only just got here he didn't really want to leave but sleeping in a hard chair all night was not the least be appealing.

Letting himself into Iris's place it felt odd that he was there and she wasn't. He'd been here once, when he came back for her, then Iris had visited Chicago and he was planning to come back soon but they were trying not to be stupid about things and blow all their money on travel. They talked everyday though, sometimes more than once. Now he was here, standing in the middle of her apartment and not having a clue what to do, it all seemed a little surreal. When he woke up this morning if you'd asked him what the craziest thing he could think of happening being here wouldn't have even crossed his mind.

Jumping in the shower he stood under the warm water and just tried to breathe. What a day? He was enjoying being back in Iris's life and they found their grove again quickly. For a while he held onto the possibility that she might be pregnant and tried to think how that would make him feel. He loved Iris, he adored her but they had things to work out still. Then he realised that if she had been pregnant and they had to terminate he worried about how they would cope with that. They were moot points, neither happened but what if they did? How would that feel? How would he help Iris?

She wasn't pregnant, and hadn't been pregnant but there was still the risk that she may lose an ovary and that would dent future prospects of having a baby. Not impossible apparently, just harder. Could they survive that? Would they survive that?

He wasn't at all surprised that Lola called him, he had two missed calls when he got out of the shower so he called her back. She'd only keep ringing. "What aren't you telling me?" She didn't give him much of a chance. "I guess Bug was awake and you didn't want to talk about something. You know I can ring and find out."

"Okay Lola, slow down. She had a cyst removed from her ovary, they think it's okay, like not cancer but we will find out in the morning. Bug was still a bit out of it, she's a bit rambling. I just didn't want to talk in front of her, she knows about it although I am not sure she remembers much of what we told her and I want her to sleep and not worry about it tonight, that's all I promise."

"Fair enough. How big of a cyst are we talking about?"

"I'm not sure, he just said a cyst, a follicle cyst or something I read on her chart and he said it was common and there shouldn't be any problems." Colton had managed to pour himself a drink. He'd found a t-shirt of his that Iris had stolen and put that on and that would have to do right now. "I've gotta say, it freaked me out."

"It is really common." Lola reassured him and talked him through it. She explained what tests they were doing; what Iris's recovery would look like and Colton again asked her about future fertility.

"You know we are not ready to have kids, not in the slightest but we have talked about it. Is this going to affect that? Iris would be devastated."

"More than likely no, but without seeing her notes I can't say. Colton don't worry about that right now."

"I'm worried about everything Lola." He reminded her sister. "This is Bug, my Bug. I know you know what this feels like."

"I know you are but hey, you are there with her and we just have to play the waiting game for now. There is nothing we can do about it tonight."

He didn't sleep well, at all. He sat up until well past midnight and then tossed and turned in bed until he gave up at six am and got up. He had thrown his work shirt in the wash last night and hung it up to dry overnight. Ironing it was a little therapeutic, it allowed him to zone out and he paid close attention to the creases, probably a little too much attention. Making himself a coffee he was doing a quick search for a store nearby that he could get some clothes when Iris called.

"Hi Bug. How are you? How'd you sleep? Has the Doctor been in?"

"Are you going to let me say something?" Iris sighed. "I am good. I had a good night's sleep, although I wish you were here. I don't like that you are so close and not with me."

"I hear ya. Any pain?"

"A little but much better."

"Good. Hey is there anything you want me to bring in? A change of clothes?"

"Are you wearing my clothes?"

"Yes, I have that lacy black thong on, I keep snagging my balls in it and that sexy green dress that I love you in feels good, so slinky."

"Don't stretch it. It will have bumps in the wrong places." He grabbed a couple of things; she was coming home anyway hopefully but wanted clean underwear at least and something comfortable to wear as she only had her work clothes and it had been suggested not to wear anything that would cut into her waist while she was still tender. He found a long loose jersey dress for her.

Iris's face lit up when he walked in. Even seeing him last night didn't feel real. She had asked the nurse when she woke up during the night if he was really here or did she dream it. "What the cute guy who fussed over you? The guy who rang us twice already to check on you? That guy?"

"Yes."

"He's here but we had to kick him out, he was doing our jobs for us."

"He's good like that." She smiled and drifted back off to sleep.

Doctor Willis came in not long after Colton arrived. Iris wasn't allowed to have a shower yet but she could have a wash and Colton helped her with that and got her dressed. He was such a sweetheart and the nurses loved him. Iris loved it today but he'd want to calm down soon or Colton would drive her nuts.

"So, as expected the pathology was benign, so nothing to worry about there. As I mentioned to your fiancé' last night, many women having cysts on their ovaries over their life and they never cause any issues, every now and then, as in your case it can flare up and one side effects is that it can cause a torsion. Your ovary looks good but we will get you back for an ultrasound in two weeks to have another look. If you experience any fevers, heavy bleeding, pain, vomiting you will need to come back in straight away. Necrosis is still a possibility."

"Does this increase her risk of developing ovarian cancer down the track?" That thought had popped into his head sometime in the middle of the night and it took all his willpower not to get up and google it. He was too scared of the outcome.

"No, there is no correlation between benign ovarian cysts and an increased risk of cancer. Familial history is a far greater risk factor. Any history in your family, your mom, grandmother?"

"No, my grandmother on my mother's side lived until she was 90, on my Dad's side she died from a stroke when she was 74. My mother died in a car accident when I was three. She was 43."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

While the sense of relief was a weight of her shoulders Iris was still nervously twisting her hands. "Can it happen again?"

"Potentially yes, but you are no more at risk than you were for this episode. Just unlucky."

"What about children? Does this affect that?" She'd had so many thoughts crashing through her head when she woke up that morning, she wasn't sure if it was the stress of that that was making her feel sick or the after effects of the operation.

"Highly unlikely, unless we get more cysts or if you do end up losing your ovary. You will still have one functioning ovary so your chances are still quite good but it might be a bit more of a struggle, you may need assistance down the track." He smiled kindly. "Iris, we are not there yet. As far as I am concerned, right now you have two functioning ovaries and your ability to fall pregnant is the same as it was two days ago."

"Okay."

"Okay, well then, they tell me you've eaten, you are drinking well enough and your pain is under control so I can see no reason to keep you here any longer." The Doctor gave her some directions on pain medication and physical activity over the next few weeks and sent the nurse in to talk about wound care and then they were discharged.

Iris closed her eyes on the trip home, comforted by Colton's hand holding hers. Getting up and moving had made her feel a little off but she just wanted to get home. Colton set her up on the couch, pillows, blankets, water to drink, TV remote and her phone before he did a quick trip to the shops. He wanted to grab some food as well as some other clothes for himself.

He hoped that Iris would sleep but Lola had called her and woken her up. "Are you home Bug? What did they say? Did they get the results of the cyst?" Colton had already told her that he had told Lola about the cyst. She wasn't surprised and Lola would've been hounding the hospital anyway.

"It's all good, just a normal everyday garden variety cyst, he said skinned or something and nothing to worry about. Now we just wait I guess to see if the torsion did any damage."

"You got onto it quickly so I am sure it's going to be fine."

"And if it's not?" Iris couldn't stop the emotion in her voice. "I could lose it and that scares me."

"I know, I know but Bug I'd rather that than lose you. We kinda really like you."

"Colton wants kids, he said so, we've always talked about it. What if I lose it and I can't or I get more cysts or the other one twists too?" She couldn't bear the thought of losing him again after just getting him back. They hadn't done so well the last time they'd hit a hurdle and Iris was worried it would happen again.

"Slow down Bug, the chances of all that happening are pretty low."

"So is a torsion of the ovary, the odds are low but here I am."

"This is all very raw and new and you have every right to feel scared and worried. I can only give you the odds, and they are low." Lola didn't want to dismiss how Iris was feeling, she was entitled to feel whatever she wanted, she wasn't about to tell her she was stupid for worrying. Truth be told, Lola was worried too.

"I know, I'm just feeling sorry for myself."

"Perfectly reasonable and I'd expect nothing less." Perhaps it was better to change the subject, she could tell Iris was spinning a little. "Hey, how's that man of yours doing?"

"I'm glad he's here. I don't know for how long though. He's just gone out for a bit to get some groceries and clothes. He turned up with a laptop and that's it."

"He got on the first flight he could."

"He's a good boy. He will drive me nuts soon enough though. He's fussing."

By the time Colton was back Iris was asleep on the bed. She had tried to sleep on the couch but it was uncomfortable. He moved around quietly and sat down and tried to get some work done. They had been good enough to give him a couple of days off but he promised to finish the reports that were due.

Iris eventually woke and he heard her in the bathroom. "You okay?" He was waiting for her in the bedroom. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I did. I feel okay. A little hungry."

"What do you feel like?"

"Hmmm, pumpkin soup and cheese toasties."

"Ha, okay." He could do the toasties; the soup would be a challenge. He'd give it a go but it would be for dinner and not an afternoon snack. "Cheese toastie coming up. Soup for dinner?"

"You are too good to me."

"Yes, yes I am. Just you remember that when you are better. I will accept thanks in many many ways." He kissed her forehead. "Now, let me feed you."

Iris watched him walk away. "Hey, those jeans look good on you. Nice ass." Colton patted his ass with both hands as he walked out. He'd been shopping while she slept and she was curious to what he'd buy. He was funny, he didn't buy a lot of clothes but when he did he made sure he bought quality stuff. He was about quality not quantity. Albany did have decent stores but whether Colton could be bothered hunting them down was another thing. The jeans looked good though, but then again she thought he always looked good in jeans.

When her phone rang she wasn't surprised it was Lola checking up on her again, it was going to get old very quickly at this pace. "How are you? Feeling okay?"

"I am, Colton is just making me something to eat before you ask."

"Good."

"I've slept, I am eating, my pain is okay, I am peeing." Iris knew what Lola would ask. She went through what Doctor Willis had told her and she promised to take it easy for a few days.

"Hey, when Colton leaves I'm going to bring Billy out and we are going to stay a couple of days okay?"

"You don't have to Lola, I'll be fine." Iris wasn't surprised that she had obviously been talking to Colton about this. She knew he had to go back to work at some point. He couldn't stay here forever.

"Pfft…I so don't care. I need to see you. You need to see Billy and hang out with your nephew; he gives good cuddles and I need to break from Sam. He's insane."

"Poor little Sam." Iris would have loved for Sam to come too but she was looking forward to seeing Billy, she hadn't seen a lot of him and couldn't wait to get her hands on her nephew. One of the hardest things about living so far away was missing out on that connection with Sam, Poppy and Billy.

"I can't wait to see you."

Colton was in the kitchen finishing off her toastie. He looked good in her kitchen. "Did you know Lola was coming?"

"Yes."

"You told her she could?"

"Yes."

"Were you going to ask me if that was okay?"

"No."

"Okay." Iris was a little frustrated with him. She thought it wasn't necessary but there was no point arguing with either of them. They would have been plotting and planning this and nothing she could say would change their minds. It was nice though, having him around and knowing that he cared. She'd had six months without him in her life, he was back now and she was good with that. She could put up with his overzealous fussing, it was so much better than the alternative.

"Just love you." Colton slid the plate across the counter. "Just worried about you."

"I know. I'm really glad you are here. I can't wait to curl up with you."

"That's my plan." He leant on the counter while she ate. Iris nibbled at it, she wasn't really hungry but knew that if she didn't eat Colton would nag her and somehow Lola would find out and all hell would break loose. "So, Pops?"

"He doesn't know yet does he?"

Colton didn't regret that decision, even if Iris was upset about it. She didn't need the stress of everyone calling checking up on her. Lola was bad enough. "Nope, I didn't think you'd want to worry him just yet."

Iris nodded. "I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"What if this isn't the end? I could still lose my ovary and that means maybe I can't have children."

"It doesn't mean that at all. It might just be harder and there are options." Colton rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "Wombat, there is nothing to suggest yet that this might be anything more. Your ovary might be fine, they got onto it quickly."

"Yeah, I know. It just feels big, you know."

"I know. So let's just take things easy, do everything the Doctor suggested, rest and hopefully this will be all over soon."

"Yep." Iris's voice quivered. "Yep."

Colton changed the subject. "Hey, how about that cuddle now?"

"I'm okay."

"Not for you, for me. I need a hug."


	41. Homecoming Queen

Iris sat up suddenly waking Colton up at the same time. "You okay?" She'd been a little restless in the last hour or so.

"No."

He reached for her hand as it was shaking and it felt clammy so he felt her forehead. Iris's eyes were wild with fear. "You're hot." He panicked a little. "Fuck Iris, you are burning up."

They'd had a good two days; they'd taken it easy, slept late, Colton made sure she ate a little, didn't do much and they watched a couple of movies. It had been nice just to be together, they talked about her coming home and relaxed. Colton focussed on Iris and caught up on work while she slept.

"Colt…" she whined and gagged. "..oh god."

"What?" he leapt out of bed just as Iris vomited everywhere. "Fuck Iris."

He ran to bathroom and grabbed some towels, returning to see her vomiting again. "Oh Baby."

It had come on all of a sudden. "It hurts." She groaned, her hands clutching her abdomen.

"What? Your stomach?" Iris nodded painfully, she was panicking and struggling to breath as she eased out of bed away from all the vomit and crumpled onto the floor.

"I am calling an ambulance." They'd been told to look for these symptoms and they knew what it meant. Iris didn't argue, she was curled up in the fetal position on the floor in agony while Colton knelt beside her calling 911.

If he'd had a car he would have driven her himself. He was trying to listen to the dispatcher and answer her questions while he was making sure Iris was still breathing, he was panicking and screaming at them to hurry up.

He grabbed more towels, wetting a cloth also so he could wipe over her face and arms to try and cool her down. She was sweating and shaking at the same time and it was the longest fifteen minutes of his life until he heard the paramedics banging on the door.

Iris could hear him urging them to hurry up as he led them through to the bedroom. "She had a torsion of her ovary three days ago. She just woke up like this about half hour ago, last night she was fine, a little tired and restless but she was fine." He had noticed that she had been restless all night but when he asked if she was okay she didn't answer and seemed asleep. "Help her please." He begged them. One of the paramedics knelt down beside Iris while the other assured him they would take care of her.

"Who do we have here?" She needed Iris to talk to her.

"Iris." Iris barely got her name out.

"Hi Iris, I'm Katie. Can you tell me what's going on?"

"It hurts." She moaned and then vomited again. "My stomach hurts." They made Iris point out exactly where she was feeling the pain.

The paramedic calmly wiped her face. "How would you describe the pain? From a scale of 1 to 10."

"Twelve."

"Okay, let's get you up off the floor." Katie and her partner lifted her up onto the gurney they had bought with them which made her cry out in pain.

"Please don't hurt her." Colton begged; it was torture listening to her crying in agony. They checked her vitals; her temperature was up over 104 and Colton saw the look they exchanged. They were worried.

He jumped in the back of the ambulance with her and Katie was a godsend. She kept him calm by asking him about their relationship and about Iris. "How long have you been together?" They gave Iris a green stick for pain management and she was a little out of it.

"About three years. We live in Chicago; Iris is here for work for a few months. I came up when she had the torsion the other day, apart from that she's really healthy, keeps herself fit, eats okay, doesn't smoke, drinks socially." He rattled off anything he could think of. "Is it her ovary?"

"It could be one of many things. The Doctors will be able to tell you more when we get her into hospital. She certainly has an infection though." He knew exactly what it was, there were no signs of infection around her wound. They had checked it last night and it was healing well. Even the paramedics looked at it and didn't think it looked inflamed. It had to be her ovary and Iris's fears were coming true.

It didn't take them long, once they were arrived at the hospital to confirm that Iris's ovary was shot and needed to be removed. Before he could get his head around anything she was in surgery. He'd barely talked to her; they had given her morphine not long after they arrived and it had knocked her out.

He called Lola and she could tell by his tone of voice that it wasn't good news. "What's happened?"

"She's in surgery right now, they are removing her ovary."

"Oh god. When did this all happen?"

"Just this morning about two hours ago, she woke up, felt hot, started vomiting and she was in agony. She was really tired last night , a bit restless." He rattled off everything he could think of. "I called an Ambulance and she's now in surgery. It all happened so fast. I didn't know what to do."

"Hey Colt, you did good."

"Lola, I'm terrified."

"I'm going to come okay? You and Iris need someone there with you." Colton barely heard her. It didn't matter what he said anyway, Lola was going to fly out. She had already planned on coming in two days time when Colton had to fly back for work.

"Is she going to be okay? Could she die? They talked about septicaemia or something? She's septic? I don't really understand and I am too scared to google it."

"Don't. You caught it early, you got her to hospital quickly and they will have started her on anti-biotics already. This is our Bug, she's not going anywhere."

It had only been last night that they called home and told everyone about Iris's health scare. Adam was equally shaken and pissed. He was not happy that they kept it a secret. He was sick of these two and their secrets and nobody was left in any doubt how he felt about it. Lola had tried to talk to him later once everyone left but he was having none of it. "They just wanted to make sure Iris was recovering well before they worried you."

"I'm not a fucking child. I am allowed to worry."

"Of course you are, Pops don't get upset with Iris, get mad at me or even Colton but don't get mad at Iris. She needs some TLC."

"I am not mad at Iris. She's my little baby…" he cried, tears spilling down his cheeks. "…she's not here and I worry about her every single day."

"I know you do Pops, we all do."

"I'm not mad at Colton, he's there with her. That's good right?"

"It is. You know he didn't even take a change of clothes. Teisha called him and he went straight to the airport. He loves her Pops."

"Of course he does. Why wouldn't he?"

"So you are mad at me?"

"Yes Charlotte I am mad at you. You should have told me."

"Fair enough." There was no point arguing. She'd cop it if it meant that Iris and Colton didn't, they had enough to deal with as it was.

Now, there was no way she could get away with not telling Pops what was going on. She booked a flight, organised for Mae to take Sam because Riley was working and stopped on the way to the airport to see Pops. Mae had been beside herself and wanted to come too but Lola told her that she needed to stay here and make sure Pops didn't start walking to Albany himself.

It was going to be an ugly conversation so Lola didn't beat around the bush. "What are you doing here?" Adam grumbled. He was still a little pissy with her for not telling him about Iris earlier.

"I'm on my way to the airport. I'm going to see Bug."

"I'll come too." Adam went to get up out of his seat.

"Pops, not now. Colton called. Bug is back in hospital, she's in surgery right now. She got an infection and her ovary that was twisted has died and needs to be removed."

"What are you talking about?"

"Iris is losing one of her ovaries."

"What does that mean? Why? So she can't have a baby anymore?"

"No she still can, she still has one ovary that is working perfectly. This one that twisted though isn't and if they leave it in her body the infection would probably be fatal. Colt is with her, it's a bit of a shock but they knew it might happen. I'm going up there to help them both."

"Is Bug going to die?"

"No I really hope not Pops." Lola squeezed his hands, "Colton got her to the hospital quickly, they will already be treating her with anti-biotics and you know what a tough little fighter our Bug is."

"I want to come Lola?" he begged.

"I know. Let me go see what's going on and then maybe we can bring Bug home to recover here. Would you like that? I know she would like that." She had no idea how that was going to happen, Lola was banking on the fact that she knew Iris hated Albany, she missed Colt and her family and was just seeing out time with her job before she came back. Perhaps they could convince her to quit and move back now. She knew Colton would be doing his darndest to convince her, he wanted her back as much as they did.

"Don't come back without my Bug."

Lola had barely left the house when Alfie called her. Pops had been on the phone to him the moment she'd left. "So Pops is barking at me to drive to Albany and bring Bug's stuff back. What's that about?"

"Bloody Pops, Alfie, Bug's in hospital again. She's in surgery right now having her ovary removed and Pops is freaking out and wants to go to Albany. I am on my way to the airport now and he wants me to not come back without her."

"Shit. Is Bug going to be okay?"

"I really hope so Alfie. I will know more soon. Colton will call when she's out of surgery. My flight is in a couple of hours. Sam is staying with Mae while Riley is at work and I am taking Billy with me. I need you to keep Pops from tearing down the joint. He's as mad as a cut snake."

"Call me as soon as you see her or hear anything." He was going to call Colton as soon as Lola hung up. Colton wasn't really up for talking but he appreciated Alfie's call and they had a quick chat, Mae had already called him as well. Her family could be pains in the ass but they were also incredible, they would rally around Iris and he felt a little less alone as well. As long as he supported Iris, they would help him.

Pops called him in tears and he assured Adam he would look after her and he had every faith in the Doctors that she would be alright. "I can't lose anyone else Colt." His heart broke for the old man. This would kill him if any happened to Iris, of that he had no doubt. He'd seen enough loved ones die; it wasn't fair and to take away his Bug would be cruel.

Colt was alone, alone in a strange city in a hospital waiting room, with no idea what was going on behind the swinging doors. He sat, he walked, he rocked on his heels, he tried to close his eyes and let his mind go blank, he checked his phone but nothing made the time go any quicker. Every time the doors opened he looked up, waiting to see her Doctor. When he did come out he was rooted to the spot with fear.

"She's doing well and in recovery now." Doctor Willis was used to seeing the look of relief on loved ones faces, it was much preferable than the alternative. "It was relatively straightforward and we've removed her ovary and fallopian tube on her left side. The ovary was definitely necrotised and there were signs that the fallopian tube was showing some evidence of infection so we decided this was the best option. Without an ovary on the left side that fallopian tube wasn't good for anything."

"What about infection, they said something about her being septic?"

"We are hitting her with some strong anti-biotics and that will continue for 24 hours so she will need to stay overnight. Fortunately we were able to remove her ovary laparoscopically and used the same incision sites as they hadn't had the chance to heal yet, that's a good thing. Iris is doing well and they will come and get you shortly and take you to her room where you can wait. I bet this is the last time you want to see this place?"

"Pretty much yeah." He shook the Doctors hand and thanked him for taking care of Iris.

For the second time in the space of a few days he sat in an empty hospital room waiting for Iris. He called Lola but she was obviously on a plane so he called Alfie and filled him in. He also decided he wanted to call Adam himself.

"Hey Pops. It's Colton."

"How's Iris?" he didn't even bother with a hello.

"I just spoke to the surgeon and it went well, I'm just waiting to see her but I wanted to let you know she's okay."

"Thank you. Are you sure?"

"Doctor Willis assured me it went well. I haven't seen Iris yet, she is in recovery but they think it won't be long now. I will give her a big hug and kiss from you."

"Please."

"As soon as Bug is feeling up to it I will call you and you can talk to her."

"Oh Iris." He sobbed.

"I know Pops. I promise to take care of her."

"Bring her home Colton."

"I will Pops. I will bring her home to you." He promised the old man. One thing he had decided sitting in the waiting room was that Iris needed to be back in Chicago. She had asked him to take her home when she was just out of surgery previously but over the following couple of days they talked about it but hadn't really made any firm plans. Now he was determined to make it happen sooner rather than later.

He was out of his uncomfortable seat as soon as they bought Iris in, again he stood back while they settled her into bed. She was connected to an IV drip this time which was for her anti-biotics but as soon as they left Colton was at her side.

She hadn't even opened her eyes but she knew he was there and his heart broke to see the tears squeeze from the corner of her eyes and down her cheeks. He rested his forehead on hers. "Oh Wombat, I'm right here." Wiping her cheeks softly he just stayed close. "I love you so much Iris."

"I'm sorry." He had no idea what she was apologising for.

"Hey, this is not your fault. Just sleep Baby. I'll be right here." He pulled up the chair close to the side of the bed and held her hand. She looked peaceful and Colton took a photo. He sent it to Adam and her siblings. _'Our beautiful sleeping Bug, back where I can keep an eye on her.'_

Iris was still asleep when Lola arrived, she hugged Colton and then handed him Billy so she could get close to Iris. "Hey Bug." She stroked her face lightly. "You got me all worried."

It took a while for her to stir and it was probably Billy's cry that woke her. He was hungry and at four months old when he was hungry there was no stopping him. "Colt.." she croaked. "…what's that?"

"It's Lola and Billy. They came to see you." He jumped up and stood beside her bed.

Iris was still pretty doped up and out of it. "Am I home?"

"No Bug, you are in hospital in Albany."

"Oh…what's Lola doing here?"

"Trying to stop me freaking out."

"Why are you freaking out?"

"Because you are in hospital again."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Shhhh." Colt bent over and kissed her forehead and whispered something to her that Lola didn't quite catch but Iris smiled. She drifted off again but when she woke again Lola was sitting beside her bed. She had managed to feed Billy will she waited for Iris to wake up; he could whip through a feed like nothing else when he was really hungry.

"Hi Bug."

"You didn't have to come."

"Yes I did."

"Can I see Billy?" Iris hated that she missed so much of his little life. Seeing him on the computer screen, in photos and videos wasn't quite the same as snuggling him. Lola laid him on the bed beside her and she turned her head and held his hand. "Hey Billy. Hi beautiful boy."

Doctor Willis came in to talk to Iris now that she was awake and Lola introduced herself. "Doctor Hollister, nice to meet you face to face."

"I couldn't stay away. I promise to behave." There was nothing worse than having another Doctor giving opinions and challenging treatments in front of your patients.

"I can kick her out." Iris reminded them. "I'll keep the baby though." She hadn't let go of Billy yet, he was very snuggly, like he knew that he had to be a good boy.

"Okay, now Iris do you understand what's gone on?"

"A little. I lost my ovary didn't I?"

"You did, unfortunately while we thought we had caught it and restored the blood flow in time it wasn't the case. Your ovary had died and you also had some infection starting in your fallopian tube. The concern was that it could travel down to your uterus and that's definitely not what we wanted so we removed your fallopian tube as well, it was superfluous now without the ovary anyway. Your right ovary and fallopian tube are perfectly healthy and so is your uterus."

"So what does that mean?"

"You will still ovulate and menstruate, you still will be able to fall pregnant but it may be that it may take a little longer than you hope but you can still conceive naturally. I will write you a referral to talk to a fertility specialist who can answer any questions you might have." Dr Willis tried to sound as upbeat as possible.

Iris nodded. She was squeezing Colton's hand. It affected him too, at least she hoped he would be worried about it. "Right now we've got a few more doses of IV anti-biotics to run through, then we will switch you to oral AB's. I will be back in the morning to see how you are going and see if you have any other questions. Try and take it easy." He tickled Billy's cheek. "Look after my patient little man."

"That sounds good Bug." Lola tried to reassure her.

"Really? One ovary gone. What if the other one twists? I'm screwed."

"It's highly unlikely."

"But not impossible."

"No, not impossible." Colton was a little pissed that Lola told her that. he could see in Iris's face how defeated she was.

"Great." She closed her eyes. Colton stood back while Lola rested her forehead on Iris's

"Bug, I understand how scary this is for you right now, but you know what, I know you will be okay, I know you and Colt will be fine. I know you will have your own baby one day."

"How?"

"Because Mom and Dad will make it happen." That broke Iris, and she sobbed her heart out while Lola held onto her. "Because you deserve it." It made Colton cry too, for days he'd held it all in, he'd put on a brave face for Iris, he'd supported her but this tipped him over the edge. "Look at how much that man loves you." Lola whispered to Iris. "I'm going to take Billy for a walk and give you two some time, okay. I'll be back soon."

She squeezed Colton's hand. "Why are you crying?" Iris asked him.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you are." He stood beside her bed, one hand holding hers, the other running through her hair. "I love you, it hurts me to see you like this."

"What if I can't have a baby?"

"Then we don't have a baby."

"Seriously Colt."

"Iris, we are a long way from that right now. There are other ways, there is IVF, surrogacy, adoption. We talked about this yesterday." And they had but when it wasn't a reality it was easier to speculate what you'd do. "Anyway the Doctor said you can still get pregnant, you still have one ovary that's working so it's not impossible. We've got time on our side."

"Do we?"

"Yes we do." Colton pressed a soft kiss to her nose. "Let's get you better, let's get you home and then we can talk about what we do next, okay? One step at a time."

"I want to go home."

"Not tonight Baby."

"No, I want to go home to Chicago, with you."

"Don't worry Bug I am taking you back to Chicago with me." Colton chuckled. Everyone had told him that he needed to bring her home or they would come and get her. "We aren't leaving you here. Not an option. I promised Pops I'd bring you home."

"Did you tell him?"

"He knows, I talked to him a little while ago. Do you want to talk to him? He's waiting for a call."

"Yes."

Colton pulled out his phone and called Adam. He answered it within two rings, which was quick for him no doubt because he was sitting waiting with the phone in his hand willing his phone to ring. "Hi Pops."

"Bug, are you okay?"

"I am Pops. A bit tired and sore but I'm okay."

"When are you coming home?"

Iris chuckled. "Soon Pops. Colt has just told me that he's not leaving here without me, so I guess I have no choice."

Adam was happy with that, nothing else mattered. "Good. Good Boy. Is he taking care of you?" She squeezed Colton's hand.

"He is. And Lola's here too which is nice." Iris took a deep shaky breath. "I love you Pops, I miss you. I wish you were here."

"They wouldn't let me come. I'm too old apparently."

"What would they know, hey?"

"Exactly."

"Hey Pops, I'm a little tired, it's so good to hear your voice though."

"Okay Bug, sleep now precious girl. Tell that man of yours I want photos so that I can see you are okay."

"Will do Pops."

He spoke to Colton briefly who assured him that they were looking after her and that he would call him in the morning. "Yes, I will send you pictures." The last thing Iris wanted was photos of her looking like shit in a hospital bed but Adam wanted them so he'd get them.

She was asleep when Lola came back. Colton wanted to go home and get some things for Iris and make sure the bedroom was clean. Lola and Billy would need to stay in the bedroom and he'd take the couch. He wouldn't leave unless Lola was here though because he didn't want Iris to wake up alone, not yet.

He talked to Alfie briefly and assured him that Bug was doing well but she wasn't up for talking. He had an inkling that Iris was awake when Alfie called but pretended to be asleep and that's what Colt told him. She'd talk to them when she was ready.

"Where's Colt?" Iris asked groggily when she woke and saw Lola beside her bed.

"He just went to grab you some things. Clean pyjama's and stuff." Lola patted her hand. She was cuddling Billy as he slept, he'd been a little unsettled with all the upheaval. "He's a good guy Bug."

"He is, he's been an angel. I can't imagine what this would be like if we were still…you know being idiots."

"We are happy he was here too." Lola agreed, she had been glad that Colton had been here. It was bad enough the first time when she was alone. This was such a major thing and they had to go through it together, it affected both of them and Lola could see how much it was hurting Colton too.

"Have you talked to Mae and Alfie?"

"I have. Sam is with Mae and she is wigging out." Mae wanted to know every single thing. When Lola had called her to tell her she was flying up Mae had initially demanded that she was coming too. It wouldn't have been possible, even Lola getting on a flight at short notice was a challenge. "Alfie is organising time off to drive up and pick up your stuff as per Pops' demands. He is also trying to stop Pops from booking a flight up here."

"Pops is crazy. I talked to him a little while ago."

"Oh I know, he rang me to lecture me. He's calling me Charlotte at the moment."

"Ha, you're in trouble." Iris laughed a little which was uncomfortable.

"I like how we get Charlotte, Mabel and Alfred and you just get Iris. He never gets angry at you."

"Yes he does. I get Iris Adelaide when he's really pissy, it's just that I don't piss him off that often."

"He's so worried about you." Lola brushed Iris's hair back from her forehead. "He loves you so much."

"I know." Iris closed her eyes and enjoyed having her sister with her. "I'm worried about him. I don't want to stress him out." Lola saw the tears.

"Hey…" She waited until Iris opened her eyes. "He loves you; he's going to worry but as long as you are okay that's all he cares about."

"I can't wait to see him." Iris rolled onto her back. "How long do you think Colt will be?"

"Am I boring you?"

"No. I just like it when he's here."

"He'll be back soon."

"I am scared he's going to leave." Iris burst into tears, it wasn't the first time over the past few days and she'd cried a lot this afternoon already.

"Oh Bug, you haven't seen it from my side. He's not going anywhere, not without you."

"I've only just got him back."

"He's only just got you back too."

Iris's face lit up when Colton walked back into her room. She was sitting up in bed cuddling Billy and not surprising she cried when he walked in. "Still?" He looked at Lola. "She thought I'd done a runner?"

"I'm right here." Iris didn't take her eyes off Billy but let them know she was listening to them.

Iris knew, and Lola knew it too when he reached into his pocket and placed the small train beside her bed. He wasn't going anywhere. The fact he remembered that thing, that Iris would want it meant a lot. She gave him a watery smile. "Thank you."

"Anything for you Wombat." Lola thought it was beautiful and Colton chuckled a little when he leant in to kiss Iris. "I've made both of you cry haven't I?" Iris just nodded.

She remembered when she first told Colton about it. They had been dating a while and he had stayed over at her place for the first time. Pops had been hilarious, giving them a lecture about safe sex. Iris roared with laughter particularly at Colton's mortified look. When they finally went to bed he saw the train on her dresser while Iris was getting changed and picked it up. "Never picked you for a train lover."

"Oh I am not." She pulled out her phone and found the part of the video she wanted to show him. "This might explain it." He watched it, the young boy running the train over his mother's stomach. '_What you doing Alfie?'_ The voice was soft and sweet and a little like Lola's.

_'__Playing with my Bug.'_

"That's your Mom?"

"It is, and Alfie would apparently always play trains with me. When Mom went to hospital to have me Alfie gave her that train…" she pointed to the train on her dresser. "..to take with her. It was my first ever present. It's always with me."

"That's pretty special Bug. What a sweet thing to have. Alfie looked so happy."

"He was, MiMi used to tell me about how Mum loved it when he was playing with her belly, that he was really sweet and gentle. He would also play trains with me when I was a tiny baby. I will show you the whole thing one day."

"I'd love to see it."

"I really wish I'd known them." Colton didn't say anything, he just hugged her. He was falling in love with her at a rapid rate of knots by that stage. It was hard to catch his breath some days.

Lola and Billy stayed at the apartment when Colton went to pick Iris up from hospital. He had already talked to her early when Iris had called him as soon as she woke. "Did I wake you?" They'd got home after dinner last night and Lola literally had to drag him away. They gave Iris something to help her sleep so she wasn't going to miss him.

"Yes. How was your night?"

"Good. I like the drugs that they give you here." Iris muttered, while they were good she was ready to come home. "What about you?"

"Your couch sucks." It was going to suck even more when Colton stayed on the couch and Lola and Iris shared her bed. All he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and tell her it was going to be okay. He promised to come in before the Doctor was due to arrive.

He bought her in some clothes to change into and helped her get dressed. They had to stay a few more hours just until Iris had finished her anti-biotic course and then they would switch her to orals and she could be discharged. It was nice to have a few hours to themselves now that Iris was a bit more with it.

They talked about her coming home. Lola would organise a medical certificate stating that she couldn't work for six weeks and that would take her to the end of her contract. She was hoping that they wouldn't need it though, Iris had been talking to them about letting her out of her contract because they were literally paying her to do nothing. She only had eight weeks left on her lease and they were willing to let that go also. Colton wasn't letting Adam down, that scared him more than anything. He was taking Iris home.

Colton's phone rang and he smiled and handed it to Iris, it was Pops. "We were just talking about you?" Iris greeted him.

"Well I am worth talking about."

"You wish."

"How are you Bug? I tried to call last night but that man didn't answer."

"He was probably asleep Pops, it was a big day for him yesterday." Iris wasn't surprised with Pops grumpiness. "And he was looking after Lola and Billy last night."

"Hogwash, he should've talked to me."

Colton just shook his head, he had no idea what Pops was talking about but he figured it was about him by the way Iris was smiling at him. "Ah Pops, Colt's done good."

"I know Iris, Its nice to hear your voice. You seem better today."

"I am. I'm going home in a little while."

"This is your home."

"Soon Pops, soon. I am looking forward to being home in Chicago with you."

"And you are going to live here? With me?"

"Yes Pops and Colton."

"Of course, I like him now." Pops had certainly forgotten how disappointed he was in Colton when he let Iris go, he was bringing her back so Adam had forgiven him.

"Me too."

He was a crazy old coot and they adored him. Iris missed him and she understood why Alfie came home now. Being away from her family was too hard, not having the support around you when you needed them the most was too difficult and she didn't want to imagine how it felt for Colton in particular when he got that call.

All that she knew was that she felt lost, alone and scared.

Colton bought her back to the apartment and Lola was waiting, she had cleaned the apartment, changed her sheets, done a quick trip to the shops to stock up on food and talked to both Mae and Alfie. They had tried to call Iris but she wasn't answering and Colton had ignored their calls as well.

"Why isn't she answering?" Mae was annoyed.

"They were waiting for the Doctor to come in and then hopefully he's bringing her home." Lola had been exasperated by Mae's demanding questions. "Hey, how is my child?"

"He was fine. Riley picked him up after dinner. He's bringing him back soon." Riley had insisted that he take Sam home last night. He was fretting a little without his Mom and Billy and Riley thought it best that he stay in his own bed, which meant Riley's bed; he slept with his Dad which for Riley meant that Sam was up two inches from his face sharing the same pillow. "He was fine Lola, don't worry about Sam." Mae was dismissive and that pissed Lola off. She knew Sam was okay with Riley, she had talked to her husband several times but she wanted to know how he was with Mae and if he was good with Poppy. He could be a little boisterous and harass poor little Poppy some days. She just wanted some reassurance that her little boy was okay without her.

"Sure, I won't worry about my son."

"Sorry." Mae apologised. "Sorry, I'm just worried about Bug."

"I know. Mae, she's going to be fine. The operation went well, Colton spoke to her before he left and she was feeling pretty good. They will be home soon."

"Pops is on a tear. He's called me four times so far. I spoke to Alfie and he said he's barely slept he's been pacing around the house all night and he was demanding that Alfie drive up to Albany today."

"Well he keeps calling me Charlotte, so I guess he's still pissy. Colton is determined to bring her home to Chicago but we haven't organised anything yet. We'll just get her back here and give her a couple of days. I think Colton is coming back to Chicago tomorrow or the next day." He had to go back to work, he'd already been away almost a week and while he was getting some work done he had to get back sooner rather than later.

"How can he leave her?"

"Mabel, don't be a bitch." Lola knew how tough Colton was doing it. She had a ringside seat to his determination to ensure Iris was taken care of. "He's been great, he's barely left her side for a week. You know he come back here yesterday to get her some clothes and he bought back the train and put it beside her bed. You've no idea what that meant to Bug. He gets her. He loves Iris."

"I know, I know. I just want her back here with us and I hate being so far away. I feel useless."

"Soon Mae."

If Iris thought it was bad just having Colton at home fussing over her she now had Lola as well and it was a little grating at times. She wasn't allowed to do anything. "You'd fucking pee for me if you could." She muttered angrily when Lola followed her into the bathroom. "I'm fine Lola."

"I just want to make sure you are okay."

"I am fine. I've been peeing by myself for years."

"First time you've peed by yourself since you've been home after two surgeries in four days though." Lola took stock of Iris's filthy look and backed off. She didn't come back out of the bedroom and Colton eventually went looking for her and found her asleep on the bed, although she wasn't actually asleep because as soon as Colton touched her forehead checking for a fever she spoke, making him jump.

"Couldn't help yourself could you?"

"Nope."

"I'm fine. I just want to sleep, I'm tired." He let her be for a couple of hours, checking in on her a few times but she was sound asleep.

Lola tried to talk to him about Iris but he clammed up a little. It was hitting him like a tonne of bricks at the moment. The past five days had caught up with him and the past twenty-four hours or so had been an emotional rollercoaster. He was tired and a little over talking. "Why don't you go out of a bit. Get some fresh air, you look pale."

"I'm okay Lola."

"I'll stay with Iris and I'll call you if she wakes." It took a little bit of convincing to get Colton to leave the apartment and he wasn't gone long and Iris was still asleep when he got back. He had walked up the street and found a take-away coffee place and then wandered around the park as he drank it. It was nice to be outside, the sun was warm and relaxing and the breeze just took the edge of it. He tried to zone out but every time he let his mind go blank Iris crept back in. She had an incredible hold on him.

"Is she awake?"

"Not yet."

"Have you checked on her?"

"Yes I have. Colt she's okay." Lola was just feeding Billy. "How are you?"

"Fine." He brushed Lola off, he wasn't wired like they were, he couldn't just open up. Iris had made him more open; she had clawed at him when they first started going out and he could talk to her but the whole family thing, he didn't get that. " I'm just going to check on Bug."

Easing himself down onto the bed Iris stirred.

"Hi." Iris mumbled and Colton snuggled into her back and she could tell he was a little emotional and he liked to retreat. He did this sometimes. He didn't want to talk, he wanted peace and quiet and to be close. Iris just held his hand tight against her chest. "I love you Baby."

They were quiet for a while until Iris eventually rolled over to face him, he hated that even moving was uncomfortable for her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinking." Now he was with Iris and he'd had a few moments to relax he would talk.

"About what?"

"All the things we need to do to get you back to Chicago. I can't let Pops down; he'll never forgive me."

Iris touched his face, running one finger down his cheek and then brushing her thumb over his lips. "I'll never forgive you if you leave me here. I couldn't do this without you." Colton kissed her fingers. "I keep thinking that if this happened a few weeks ago, before you came back for me, I'd be all alone."

"You know, if Alfie or anyone called me and told me you were in hospital I'd still have come, together or not, I still loved you."

They talked about what would happen if they couldn't have children and what options they had. It was early to be having the conversation but it was playing on both their minds so it was better to get it out there rather than let it fester.

"I feel useless." Iris sobbed. "I can't even do being a woman right."

"Oh I don't know, I think you do being a woman pretty fucking well. As a lover of women, I can tell you, you fucking take the cake, several in fact."

"But…"

Colton placed his hand over her mouth. "I love you, end of story. I fell in love with you." He tapped her chest. "Your heart…" and then tapped her head. "…and your mind, your very soul. Everything else is window dressing."

"You are sweet."

"When I first met you I was blown away and sure it was the package you were wrapped in that got my attention, but that was so long ago Iris, it's so much more than that now. I choose you, all of you."

"If you don't want this anymore..."

"Wombat, please don't. I am exactly where I want to be, I am with who I want to be with. I came back for you because I didn't work without you, I don't want to work without you. Okay?"

Iris nodded and snuggled into him.

They could hear Lola and Billy from the other room. "Is Lola driving you nuts?" Iris asked him, it was time to change the subject.

"No, she's good. I think she's keeping the other's at bay. I haven't heard from Mae today and Alfie has been strangely quiet too." Colton laughed a little. "Adam on the other hand, has been quite the entertainer."

"What's he saying?"

"There was a particularly entertaining phone call about how I need to not have sex with you for at least a month, or six weeks or _'maybe you should like tie a knot in it or you know, deal with it yourself. Don't ask Iris to do it, she's got other things to worry about.'_ He doesn't want you to exert yourself."

"Oh Pops." That made her laugh and she grimaced a little with the pain.

"Crazy old bastard. He loves you Bug and he can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to get out of this place either."

"Mae's written a list. Lola's already got it. They've both got Alfie on standby and I did hear some conversation about re-painting your room."

"They are all batshit crazy. Are you ready for them again?"

"Yep, bring it on." They had talked about her family and how they caused issues last time that they couldn't overcome. Colton insisted that it wasn't her family, it was just that neither of them were ready to deal with their own issues and it was easier to take it out on them. He really did appreciate everything they did for Iris and for him and it was her brother that forced him to go get her back.

He helped her up off the bed so she could use the bathroom and having learned his lesson he left Iris to it and headed out and assured Lola that Iris was fine and would be out soon. He picked up his phone and saw all the missed calls from Adam, Mae and Alfie.

"Your family is fucking nuts." He grumbled at Lola. "How many times have they called you?"

"More than you, every time you don't answer they call me. So answer your fucking phone."

"You love it. You are much better equipped to deal with them than me." Colton dropped his phone back on the bench. "And I've already had the revised sex talk from Pops today. As opposed to the other revised sex talk I got last time Bug was in Chicago."

"Toughen up princess." Lola hand him Billy. She'd had enough of him; he'd just about sucked her dry and kept hanging on trying to get blood from a stone. He'd just about taken her nipple with him when she tried to unlatch him. "Talk to your nephew."

Iris heard the exchange and what she loved the most was that Lola had called Billy Colton's nephew. He adored Sam, Poppy and now he was enjoying getting to know Billy. Sam and Poppy were always all over him like a jungle gym. He'd make a good father one day which made it all a little bittersweet for Iris right now.

Colton did leave the next day, and Iris was a sobbing mess. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to Chicago without her but he had a job to do. They had been great to him but it wasn't going to last forever. Iris and Lola busied themselves organising for everything to be packed, fortunately Iris didn't have much and what she didn't want they sold.

"What's up Lola Bear?" Iris noticed her mood.

"I just miss Sam." She gave her sister a watery smile. "I miss that crazy little human."

"Then let's go home." Everything was almost ready. Alfie had offered to come up and get the rest of Iris's things on the weekend. He had a few days off but they were just killing time and it seemed pointless now. "Let's just ship this stuff back and get out of here."

"That will cost a bomb Iris."

"I don't really care, do you?" She was over it. "Let's go home. Tomorrow. Teisha will take care of this for me." She waved her hand around her almost bare apartment. It was only a couple of days earlier than planned. Teisha had been over and met Colt more formally and also Lola. They had told her crazy stories about Iris and she'd never laughed so hard. She was going to miss her and did promise to make it to Chicago one day.

So they packed up and left and told no one.

Adam cried when he saw the cab pull up and his little Bug got out with Lola and Billy. "I wasn't expecting you until the weekend." He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so happy to see you. Welcome home Bug."

"Thanks Pops, it's good to be home with you."

"Colton didn't tell me you were coming."

"He doesn't know Pops. We didn't tell him, we just decided last night that we both wanted to come home. Lola was missing Sam and I was missing this whole crazy mob."

Lola really wanted to get going so she could see Sam so they both went with her. "Mommy." Sam screamed when he saw his mom come through Mae's front door. He dropped what he was doing and hurled himself across the room and into Lola's waiting arms. "Mommy." He sobbed.

"Oh Sam, I missed you so much." It was the longest she had been away from him.

Mae heard his commotion and was stunned to see Lola, Iris and Pops all in her lounge. "Oh thank god you are here." She hugged her sister, who had been given Billy to hold so Lola could have her hands free to cuddle Sam. "Look at you, are you okay? Here let me take Billy, you need to sit."

"I'm okay Mae."

"No you are not, come sit please. It's my turn to fuss." Mae insisted. "I haven't had the chance yet, I've got so much bottled up fussing in me. So sit, let me start."

Adam loved watching them all together, his three granddaughters. Mae and Lola fussed over Iris, like they had done their whole lives and he liked it. Eventually though Iris had enough, she wanted to go home for a rest and she wanted to talk to Colton.

Lola wanted to go home too, she wanted to get her boys home and she'd already called Riley and couldn't wait to see him. She missed her husband; she missed his ability to just make her settle and breathe and calm her nerves. It had been a long hard few days and while she had Billy to hold onto and keep her occupied she wanted a hug from Riley. That's where she felt her best.

Iris had talked to Colton that morning before they left for the airport and wouldn't talk to him again until the evening. He had been swamped with work once he got back and as much as Iris wanted to see him now she waited a few hours because he was at work and had a sleep and spent some time getting some hugs from Pops. He was so happy she was back.

"Hey Bug, I was just thinking about you." He smiled when he picked up her call. "How's your day? How you feeling?"

"A bit tired. I just had a sleep."

"You okay?"

"Yep, I'm feeling really good. Even all the fussing has been bearable."

"Lola's gone nuts?"

"Lola, Mae, Pops…"

She waited until that sunk in and it took a few seconds. "…fuck, you are here."

Iris laughed at how shocked he sounded. "I am, I'm home."

"Oh…"

"Come home Colton."

He couldn't believe it, he glanced at the photo on his desk, it had been back where it belonged for a few weeks now. "Bug, I've missed you."

"It's been three days."

"I still missed you. I can't wait to see you."

"Are you coming home?"

"Yep." It was past five, his official work day was done, he would have stayed another few hours just to kill time and catch up but that didn't matter now. He'd already done twelve hours having got into the office a little after five am. "On my way."

Iris was waiting for him. It felt good to be home, back with Pops where she felt like she belonged. It felt good to be back with Lola and Mae and the kids and she couldn't wait to see Alfie either but above all that it was such a relief to be back in her home and in Colton's arms.

He was her north star, he was her everything, now more than ever.

_**Sorry, that was a long one...anyway, we'll leave Iris there for now & get stuck into Alfie's life for a bit.**_


	42. I Can't Breathe

**_ALFRED PHILLIP RUZEK HOLLISTER_**

Alfie felt like he was going to vomit. He'd been out all day, he couldn't sit around and say nothing and he wanted to do this all at once. He could only do it once. So many times his courage had faltered over the last few days. He made plans, thought about cancelling them and started the process all over again.

At the end of the day he was raised by good men, to be a good man. His father was a good man and he didn't want to let him down. He didn't want to let his Pops down in the last few years of his life. He didn't want his sisters to be disappointed in him.

He'd gotten a phone call, four short days ago that had changed his life forever. That wasn't unfamiliar to him, his life had changed in the blink of an eye before. He was hoping that in the not too distant future this wouldn't bear the crushing weight that one did, one that he carried to this day but right now he was a little overwhelmed by it.

As he came through the house he could hear them all, he knew they were all here, the laughter swelled the closer he got. The back deck was crowded, Adam had enclosed it for winter and the heaters were pumping, it was a little stifling when he stepped through the door. No matter the weather Adam loved being outside. Sam saw him and ran at his Uncle, Alfie always picked him up and swung him through the air, it was a ritual. Poppy toddled towards him; her big brown eyes wide with delight. It felt familiar and comforting and he soaked it up for a brief moment.

Pops was having a cuddle of Lola's little boy, Billy. He was six months old and thriving and Sam adored him now that he was responding to him, his smiles were heart melting and Sam loved making him laugh. Up until then Sam was a little disappointed in his brother and told his parents as much, he was expecting something a little more 'fun'.

He thought of his two nephews and niece. How much he loved them and had loved being in their lives. He came home when Sam was eight weeks old and never left. That was more than three years ago. Such a long time but it had gone so quickly and he didn't regret spending that time here with his family and especially with his Pops, not until that phone call anyway.

Pops was an old, old man. He was slow in the body but he was still sharp and quick in the mind and they knew with each passing day they were getting nearer to the end. Pops knew it too and told them often.

"About time you got here." Iris scolded him. They had been waiting for him so they could have dinner and she was starving.

"Sorry." He shrugged, took the beer that Colton had offered him and took a big long drink. "I have something to tell you." He paused, and the silence was uncomfortable.

"Alfie, you are freaking me out a little." Mae could see how shook up he was. Their biggest fear was that he was going back to Australia to live, and while they would never stop him they just liked having him around.

He just bit the bullet. "I got a phone call a couple of days ago. Back in Australia, when I left… I was seeing a girl… for a about a year. Jedda." He was rambling. "…we broke up when I told her I was moving back to Chicago; she was angry at me for leaving… and we didn't keep in contact. She kinda fell off the grid a bit. A couple of weeks ago she died." He smiled a little painfully at the memory of Jedda, he wasn't sure he was in love with her although he did enjoy his time with her but he hadn't thought about her in more than three years. She really was one of those people that come into your life for a reason, to teach you something and then leave. "She was always a little consumed by demons I guess. That's what I liked about her, her demons, my demons bought us together."

They let him go, he had a far off look in his eye and it was quite unsettling. "Anyway. I guess they got the better of her. What I didn't know until last week was she had a three-year-old daughter, Adelaide." As soon as he said that Iris knew and so did the rest of them and he heard the gasps. "Addy, that's what they call her… I didn't know… I have a three year old daughter."

The stunned silence was only broken by the laughs and squeals of Sam as he chased Poppy across the deck. It was a little bittersweet. "I have a three year old daughter…" he repeated when no one said a word. "…that I never even knew existed. There is a little girl who thinks she doesn't have anyone in the world. She is in foster care at the moment. Jedda didn't have family, not family who could care for a child anyway. So…." He took a deep breath. "…I am going back to Australia on Wednesday to make arrangements to take custody of Adelaide and to bring her back here. I'd really like you to help me." Tears streamed down his face. "I don't know what else to do. I can't leave her with no -one, she's my daughter and she's alone and… I can't fucking breathe."

Iris moved first. "Alfie, I'll come with you. I want to come with you." He hugged his little sister; it was the first time since this had happened he'd had the comfort of someone's arms. It was a shock when they told him and he was in a state of disbelief, and then when they told him her name it had smacked him in the face. Alfie had always talked to Jedda about Iris, well he talked about all of them but he often talked about Iris because she was closest to him and how she was so little when their parents died and that she didn't remember them. He had no idea if that was why Jedda called their daughter Adelaide but he liked to think it was. The irony of Adelaide's age was not lost on him either. She was the same age Iris was when they were orphaned. Except Adelaide wasn't an orphan, she just didn't know it yet.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Of course. You can't go alone; I won't let you."

"I don't understand." Adam was confused. He found it hard to hear things anymore and it took him a few moments to decipher things. All the noise around him made it hard. "What's happening? Where are you going?"

Alfie shook his head when Lola offered to tell him again. He wanted to do it and he sat down next to his Pops. He explained again to Adam what he had just told them. "Alfred, go get your little girl. She can't be alone." His Pops admonished him.

"I know Pops. I'm going on Wednesday."

"Do you have a photo?"

"I do…" He pulled out his phone. He had one photo, she was a beautiful dark-haired girl with caramel coloured skin, big beautiful brown eyes and long eyelashes. He had been surprised when he saw her for the first time. She definitely had her mother's colouring, not that Jedda had been dark but she was part indigenous. It was her eyes though, they were they eyes of her grandmother and great grandmother and Adam commented on them immediately.

"Those beautiful eyes." A tear trickled down his cheek. "I remember those eyes. I've loved those eyes for a long time."

He handed the phone to Lola, who was hovering and she passed it around to the others. "What happens now Alfie?" Lola asked him.

"I don't know really. I've been talking to a lawyer in Australia and I've got an appointment with an immigration lawyer in the morning. I had to have a DNA test done. She is my daughter. He has asked me to put together some information about my life here, to show that I can care for her, that I have a job, some support, somewhere to live all of that. To date none of Jedda's family have made contact, I don't think she had many blood relatives anyway. She had cut herself off from her family quite a few years ago. They weren't happy about her decision to move away and try to have a career. She was a nurse and she didn't want to be dragged back into their world. Her upbringing had been very nomadic and her parents were abusive alcoholics as were most of her siblings. She worked hard to get away from them. I know she wouldn't want her daughter to go back there, to that life. I don't want my daughter to have that life."

"What can we do?"

"I want to show them us, my family. Her family. That's all. I want to show her that she has people here ready to love her, a room for her to sleep in..."

"We can do that while you are gone." Mae offered quickly. He knew they would do whatever they could to help him. He suddenly felt a little less alone. It had been a long week, carrying this secret but he couldn't tell them until he understood what it all meant and what he was going to do.

"You are staying here?" Adam was definite on that. He wouldn't have it any other way.

"Of course Pops. I want to bring her back here, to this house. To my home."

It was all they talked about. They wanted to know about Jedda, the mother of Alfie's child and their life together. There wasn't a lot to tell. It had been about a year, maybe a little over and they had a very physical relationship and neither of them were ready for much more than that. When Alfie decided to come home he hadn't given Jedda much of a chance. She wanted him to choose her, to stay in Australia but he wasn't even going to consider it, he needed to be with his family, with his Pops. Jedda told him she wasn't prepared to do long distance, if he left he'd never hear from him again and true to her word that was the last she saw of him.

He did the math; Adelaide was born seven months after he left.

Eventually Alfie had to tell them that he needed to stop talking about it, he'd told them everything he knew. She was apparently a lovely sweet little girl who was confused and alone, he just wanted to get there. He did like that apparently Jedda had always told him that his Dad looked after animals and lived a long way away and one day she would get to meet him. Her one day was now a few days away.

Iris was waiting to talk to him alone, Adam went to bed and Colton left her downstairs. He knew that Iris was the one person Alfie would be the most honest and open with. "Are you okay Alfie?"

"I don't know Bug. I think I am still in shock."

"You really had no idea?"

"No, none. Jedda and I were in two different worlds. She had her friends and I had mine and we never really mixed. We had our own lives and as I said, she had demons, I had mine and that was okay. When I decided to come back here, when MiMi died she was hurt that I didn't want to stay. I think I loved her, in my own way or I could have one day and I asked her to think about coming with me but she told me that she didn't love me enough. We just weren't in that space.." he shrugged sadly, "..you know."

"I'm sorry Alfie."

"It's okay Bug. This was more important and honestly I don't know what I would have done if I had known about Adelaide."

"The right thing I think."

"Who knows what the fuck that is? You know, this is Pops and I owe him my life. If I didn't have Pops and MiMi I would have drowned Bug. I was seven years old and felt like all I ever had to be was the man of the house. Over there I wasn't any of that and I liked it. I felt like I was a little bit free."

"You didn't have to be the man of the house Alfie, you had to be you."

"I know, you don't know what that was like though Bug, being the only boy. I didn't want to let Dad down, I remember him talking to me about being the man of the house. I had to look after you."

"And you did. I love you so much Alfie."

"Ahh Bug, I'm glad you are coming with me. I couldn't do this without you." Alfie buried his head in her shoulder and sobbed. He finally let it all out, he'd been holding it in because he had nobody to share his pain with and he was hurting. His heart was breaking for a little girl that he'd never met, that he never knew about and that was part of him and she was all alone on the other side of the world. His world had just be shaken, her life had been obliterated and he knew that feeling all too well.

"I love you Alfie, I can't wait to see you be a Dad to your little girl." She kissed his forehead. "I am going to be with you every step of the way. I believe in you, if anyone can do this it is you."

Colton was asleep but woke up when Iris came in. "Big night Bug?" she snuggled into his arms. Her favourite spot to fall asleep was with Colton curled around her.

Now that everything had settled down and Iris was back their relationship had gone from strength to strength. She was doing some part time work for the Foundation until she got her feet under her again and Colton was happy back living with Iris and Pops and couldn't be happier.

"Holy fuck. I did not expect that….ever."

He kissed the back of her neck. "I'm glad you are going with him." He hadn't been surprised that Iris had offered to go, she didn't need to ask his permission. If that's what needed to be done then he was okay with that, but he would miss her like crazy. He'd only just got her back.

"You don't mind?"

"As long as you don't decide to live there or are gone too long." He rolled away and pulled Iris onto her back. "I'm going to miss you."

"You'll be okay, Pops will keep you company." Iris ran her hand over his chest and down towards his stomach. "He'll cuddle up to you if you ask."

"I don't want Pops company or to cuddle your Pops, that's weird. I'll miss you, I miss everything about you." Colton kissed her softly. "I hate not having your warm body next to mine."

"You've got three days to get some in the bank." Colton didn't need a second invitation, he was going to miss her but at the very least Iris would go away without a shadow of a doubt how much he loved her and how proud he was of her for supporting her brother. They had completely ignored Pops sex lecture and hadn't taken long to resume their activities after Iris came home, he was gentle with her though right up until Iris got frustrated and took control one day. It had been wild.

If the past week had been intense for Alfie, the next three days were off the charts. Lola and Mae where in a tizz and wanting to make sure Alfie had everything he needed, they wanted to talk to him but he struggled to talk about it with anyone but Iris. She had always been his centre, the one he turned too when he was struggling and Alfie was struggling.

Lola and Mae also found it hard to step back and let Iris deal with him. He was a bit erratic and they had to back off, he'd disappear for hours when it got too much and it was up to Iris to track him down.

The Immigration lawyer had been frustrating, there were more hurdles and hoops to jump through. The paperwork was exhausting and he felt like he was just constantly repeating himself.

Iris gave them a list of things to take care of, including preparing a room for Adelaide which Mae scoffed at, lists were her thing. "Don't go overboard until we know. Please." She knew Lola and Mae would just want to make things nice for Alfie and Adelaide and they wanted to help but she had to rein them in.

She also reminded them that they had to take care of Pops too. "Don't leave it all to Colt because you are too busy buzzing around getting things sorted for Adelaide."

That went down like a lead balloon. It was a tense few days for everyone. Alfie sat in the middle of it all, it swirled around him and he just let it. They were going to do what they wanted anyway, complaining about it only stressed everyone else out and Pops didn't need it.

Alfie had a couple of things to finish off at work before he left and was surprised when he got a call from reception telling him that his grandfather was here. Adam had called a Cab and made them bring him to the Zoo without anyone else knowing, he didn't want them making a fuss. The young girl on reception didn't know who he was which did not impress him at all. "My grandson works here; you need to call him and tell him I am here. Alfred Hollister." He barked at her.

"Alfred? Oh Alfie. I will call him." Adam told her that he'd be waiting at the tree and stalked off before she even had a chance to apologise.

Alfie jogged towards him, he was standing staring up at the tall Oak with his hands in his pockets. "Hey Pops." Alfie touched his back. "What are you doing here?"

"Seeing you."

"How'd you get here?"

"I caught a cab Alfred, I am not useless."

"I know Pops."

Adam stood and looked back up at the tree. "You know, I remember you asking me about this, Christmas was coming and you wanted Iris and Charlie to have a good Christmas because Iris was little and it was Charlie's first." Alfie let him go, he was telling a story and he knew better than to interrupt him. "I was so proud of you. You were a little boy and you only cared about everyone else. You never asked for anything for yourself, you were worried about Iris, about Mae. You kept telling us not to worry about Mae, that it was your job to worry and that she'd be okay and she'd talk soon. You slept with Iris for weeks and just held her hand. Every morning you'd bring her downstairs holding her hand. I knew they'd be okay because they had you."

"I didn't know what else to do." He had his hand on his Pops back to steady him. He adored this man; he'd been his strength for so long.

"Alfie, you did what your Dad raised you to do, look after his girls. I think you know how much those girls love you and love this place, this tree and the one in Australia. You did that, you gave them their Mom and Dad, just for a little bit."

"When I got that call, I came here and just stood here trying to figure out what to do."

"You knew what to do Alfie and I know that you are going to love that little girl and she is a lucky little thing because she has you. I have so much faith in you and I wanted to tell you that. I love you Alfred and I can't wait to meet your girl. I'm glad I am still here to see you be a Dad. I'm proud of you, MiMi is proud of you and more than anything…" he pointed to the tree… "They would be proud of you."

"I hope so."

"They loved you so much Alfie, I lost count of the times we helped your Mom up off the floor when she was pregnant with you. I remember one day I took her to hospital and called your Dad, she had wanted him to go out to a friend's wedding because all he had done was look after her and I had to call him and tell him I'd taken her to hospital." Adam shook his head sadly. "She didn't want me to tell him but I knew how angry he'd be if I tried to hide it from him, he adored your mother. He came in and refused to leave her side and before I left I watched him and he was so heartbroken, I watched your Dad cry because his Polly was sick and he couldn't help her but they did it, they hung on to each other and then there was you and none of that mattered anymore. They had this beautiful little boy."

"I'm glad I've got you Pops. I'm glad you came here today and I can't wait to meet Adelaide and tell her all about you."

It was almost a relief to get on the plane, not just because he was going to meet his daughter, but for thirty hours he could switch off from everything and everyone.


	43. Adelaide

"This is Alfie." He answered his phone without even looking at the number. He was at work and about to go into clean the Lion's Den out. They had locked them out in the yard and it was threatening to rain so they had to get it done quickly to give them the chance to get back inside if they wanted too. Their three cubs and Momma didn't love the rain, she always hid inside on wet days.

"Alfred Hollister?" The voice asked after a small delay.

"Yes." No one ever called him Alfred so he was already on edge.

The man introduced himself from a legal firm in Australia, Alfie barely registered his name. He quickly racked his brain wondering if he had forgotten anything or left something unfinished or unpaid back in Perth. It had been more than three years since he left and he had only been back once very briefly for a wedding of his best mate. "I'll get straight to it if you don't mind. You are Alfred Phillip Ruzek Hollister?"

"I am. What's this about?"

"Do you know Jedda Ingram?"

"I haven't seen her for years. We knew each other, though yes."

"I see." There was a brief pause on the line and Alfie felt something creep over him. "Ms Ingram sadly passed away about a two weeks ago."

"Shit, what happened?"

"I cannot discuss that just yet. Were you aware that Ms Ingram had a young child?"

Alfie's heart started thudding in his chest and his palms were sweating. "No."

"Mr Hollister, the child's birth certificate lists you, Alfred Phillip Ruzek Hollister of Chicago Illinois as the father of her child."

"What?" He was pretty sure he didn't hear that right.

"You are listed as the child's father. Do you think this could be a possibility?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen her in more than…" Alfie had to stop and think, how long had he been back here. Sam had his third birthday a few months ago now, that's all he could remember. He came home when he was almost two months old . "…three years. But if you are asking if we had a relationship before then, then yes."

"And your last contact with Ms Ingram?"

"Before I left, over three years ago. I honestly haven't heard from her." Alfie had forgotten all about what he was doing at the time, luckily he wasn't doing anything that required much thought, he was cleaning out the wheelbarrows ready for the Lion's pens. "Are you sure?"

"Well at this stage all we have is a birth certificate but I have been instructed by the State to find the child's family. The child had a third birthday recently."

"Is it okay?" The words caught in this throat, it sounded wrong. "I can't keep calling it the child, that sounds cold."

"She is, she is being cared for by a lovely foster family at the moment."

"It's a girl?"

"Yes, a three year old girl." The lawyer continued. "Ms Ingram didn't want her family to be involved. Do you know much about them?"

"No, I never met them, she didn't have anything to do with them, she grew up in an abusive home."

"I have to ask, as her father, once that is established of course, do you intend to take custody of the child."

"Yes." He answered instantly, he had no choice, no desire to do anything else and no second thoughts. If this child was his, he wanted to know her and take care of her. It was the right thing to do and the only thing Alfie could do. Hell even if she wasn't his child he'd take her if she had nobody, no child deserved to be an orphan. He knew that better than anyone.

"Okay." The lawyer explained what was going to happen next. He was going to send Alfie some documents to read about the identification processes and he would need to submit at DNA sample. "We will talk you through the next steps once you have read them. For the welfare of the child in question we are keen to get this sorted."

"Right." His mind was spinning. "Oh, what's her name. She has a name; can we call her that instead of the child?" It was annoying him, the way he were talking about her like she was a thing, a possession, she wasn't a possession she was a little girl who was all alone.

"Her name is Adelaide. Although she likes to be called Addy." Alfie's heart skipped several beats. Up until that moment he had so many doubts and questions but that name, he remembered Jedda telling him when she had asked about his sisters and he had told her how close he was to his youngest sister. _'Iris Adelaide, what a beautiful name. If you ever have a daughter you should call her Adelaide. Addy for short.' _

He slipped his phone back into his pocket and stood still. What the fuck just happened?

Now, less than two weeks later he was in Australia getting ready to meet a little girl who had no idea who he was and who had changed his whole future.

Alfie was already up when Iris finally emerged from her room. Her wet hair was tied up on top of her head and she was still in a robe, if she was relaxed Alfie was not. He was staring out the window. "Good Morning." Iris headed to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. "Sleep well?"

"Not really."

"You nervous."

"Yeah, and all that. Nervous, scared, terrified, nauseous." They were meeting Adelaide today. It had been two days of lots of legal processes, assessments and conversations which had frustrated Alfie. He had kept his cool although he exploded at Iris last night after they talked to everyone back home.

"Excited?"

"A little bit." He chuckled. "Yeah a little bit."

"I have a good feeling Alfie."

He turned away from the window. "Sorry about last night."

"What happened last night?" Iris sipped her coffee as she watched him over the rim of her cup, her eyes twinkled a little as she smiled. It was her way of letting him know they were okay, it was over. That was last night, he was tired and stressed and Iris didn't take it personally. She was well aware that Alfie was just overwhelmed and struggling to deal with it, she knew that by coming with him she was going to be a punching bag, figuratively of course. Alfie would never hurt anyone, that wasn't in his nature. Iris could handle a little bit of a verbal stoush, she'd been handling him for years and Iris was probably the best place out of all of them to deal with Alfie right now.

He was doing his best but he was in turmoil. Iris could see that and she was going to do whatever she had to do to get him through this. Alfie had amazed her though, throughout it all not once had he had doubts about what he had to do, he had no other option and he didn't want to do anything other than meet his daughter despite being terrified. He'd set his heart on her already, it was all planned in his head and Iris was worried about what might happen if it didn't go as Alfie wanted it to.

"Thanks Bug." Alfie made himself another coffee. "How's Colt?"

"Loving every minute of taking care of Pops, who is grumpy. His elbow hurts apparently and nobody cares." Adam had banged his elbow last week and it _'swelled like a bitch'_ and he took it out on everyone. Colton was bearing the brunt of it right now.

"He's a good guy Bug. Not many boyfriends would stay home and take care of his girlfriend's grumpy old Pops while she is swanning about in another country."

"I kinda like him."

"Me too. He's good for you. You should keep him."

"I think I might." Iris chuckled. She had no plans of getting rid of him. He rocked her world every day and their six months apart had only intensified those feelings they had for each other; they may not know what the future held for them with regards to a family but they knew they'd be together. "Can you imagine all the stories Pops will be telling him?"

"You will have a lot of explaining to do when you get home."

"Yep, apparently he was rabbiting on about when I pushed you down the stairs last night."

"You did push me."

"I don't remember but I am sure you deserved it. You used to pick on me all the time."

"Not true, you were the only one that liked me. I was good to you." Alfie had always adored Iris, from the moment she came home from hospital they had to watch him like a hawk because he was always smothering her with his love. Lola and Mae were bitches to him some days so he foisted all his love onto his 'Bug' and not much had changed over the years. Alfie had a sweet spot for Iris and she certainly adored her brother. He had been a little emotional when she pulled her train out of her carry-on bag on the plane. She never travelled without it, Iris had always treasured it and Alfie loved that she still carried it with her.

Iris held her brother's arm and could feel him shaking as they walked into the room at a very non-descript building in the city. It felt strange that this office building held his future. She gave it one last squeeze and let it go as Alfie shook hands with the lawyer and was introduced to the representative of the Department of Child Protection. "It's nice to finally meet you." She smiled at him sweetly, trying to get him to relax. He had been getting tense at home and you could see it on his face, he was a bit of an open book in that regards. He introduced Iris next.

"Right first of all I will get Adelaide's Foster Mum to come out and say hello, she will take you in to meet Adelaide. She has been told you are coming and is looking forward to meeting you, although she doesn't know that you are her father yet, that is the decision of the Psychologist, they want to see how this goes first. She is a very happy sociable little girl but we don't know how she will react; she has met a lot of new people in a very short space of time and it's been a bit hit and miss. Sometimes she is happy and other times it overwhelms her. It has been a very challenging time for Adelaide but she is doing so well considering. We just don't know." It was a lot to take in and the women spoke so quickly it was hard to follow. Sometimes it felt like everything was being rushed.

Iris rubbed his back; he was so nervous. His hands were shaking and he clasped them together. He didn't really know what to do with them. She was glad he wasn't here alone, Alfie was such a sweet guy and he felt things deeply, perhaps a hang-over from their childhood. He adored his nephews and niece, and to find out that he had a daughter had thrown him for a loop but he was doing his best.

Alfie met Liz, Adelaide's foster mom and she talked to them both a bit about what Adelaide likes and talks about. "Would you like to meet her?"

"Absolutely."

Alfie followed Liz and Iris hung back a little. The little girl was sitting by the window at a small table doing some drawing. She was with her Nanny, Jedda had employed Tara to look after Addy while she was at work and had been with her for almost a year now. When they arrived earlier Addy had been excited to see Tara waiting for her, she hadn't seen her for a since she was placed in her foster home.

"Adelaide, honey." Liz spoke to her gently. "There is someone here who would like to say hello." She pushed Alfie forward a little. "This is Alfie."

"Hi." She said sweetly and then went back to drawing. "I make card."

"That's nice. It's nice to meet you, Adelaide." Alfie squatted down beside her. He was blown away, she definitely had Jedda's colouring but his Mom's eyes and he felt a little bubble rise up in him. He swallowed hard, it was overwhelming seeing his daughter for the first time, he wanted to hug her but didn't want to scare her.

"I Addy."

"Well it's nice to meet you Addy." Alfie laughed a little, this girl seemed like she had a bit of spunk about her. "That's a great card."

"You want it?"

"I'd love it."

"I not finish."

Tara moved so that Alfie could sit with Addy and he started drawing with her. She looked at Tara who assured her that she wasn't going very far, she was just going to talk to Liz.

"What are you drawing?" Alfie asked her softly. He could not have been more nervous as he tried to focus on the little girl in front of him and not every other thought that was crashing through his head.

"A flutterby." She drew a crooked circle and then giggled. It was the cutest little laugh. "They pretty."

"They are very pretty."

"Who's that?" Addy pointed to Iris who had sat down at the table across the room to watch them together. She thought Addy was beautiful and seeing Alfie with her was the sweetest thing. She wanted to take a million photos and videos but they had been told they couldn't take her photo just yet. They had no legal claim to Addy at this stage.

"That's my sister. Her name is Iris." Alfie watched her check out Iris and he smiled at Iris, he liked that she had tears in her eyes. "We call her Bug."

"I no sister."

"I have three."

Addy held up four fingers. "I three. I had a _birf..day_."

"Are you? That's a big number. Liz told me you had a birthday, was it fun?"

"Yes, I had cake."

"I love cake." Alfie felt like he was all at sea as Addy just smiled at him.

"You draw." She tapped Alfie's drawing. He was a talented drawer, not that he did it much anymore, he more liked to doodle than actually draw anything. He drew a giraffe.

"Do you like it? Do you know what it is?"

"A 'raffe."

Alfie smiled, he liked that she knew what it was. "It is a giraffe. I love giraffes."

"They funny." She stretched her neck up and poked out her tongue. Addy drew something on a piece of paper and gave it to Alfie. "A 'raffe." It was just scribble but he didn't care, he was going to hang onto that.

"You talk funny." Addy looked at him curiously.

"Do I? That's because I come from a different country." His heart was beating rapidly, he had no idea what he'd do if Addy told him that she didn't like it or that her Daddy was from another country.

Addy seemed happy with that for now. "Oh."

Alfie spent about two hours with Addy, she played with Iris also and happily talked to both of them. While Iris was having a tea party with Addy, she was diligently pouring Iris a 'cuppa' Alfie talked to Liz and Tara.

"What does she understand about what's going on?"

"We are not really sure. She does keep asking for her Mum, when she is coming home. Jedda often worked double shifts so that wasn't unusual for her. I think she is starting to think something is wrong but doesn't understand it. We keep telling her that her mother died but she has no idea what that means."

"I don't really remember what Iris was like when our parents died." He saw the look on both Liz's and Tara's face and realised that just as he didn't know much about Addy's life and what happened to Jedda, they hadn't been told a lot about him. They knew he was living in the US and didn't know he had a daughter but that was about it. "Our parents died when Iris was three years old, so she was the same age as Addy is. I was seven. From what our grandparents told us she didn't understand and kept asking for them. She doesn't remember them at all."

"I'm sorry."

"It was such a long time ago but I really feel for Addy, not only because she is my daughter, but because I know how much I just wanted my Mom at the time." Alfie welled up a little, right now he could have done with his Mom to guide him, or his Dad's steady hand. "I still miss them."

Tara liked how emotional he was, she could tell he had a big heart and felt he would be just what Addy needed. Unconditional love. "Will you take her back to the US?"

"Everything is so up in the air, we are working through all the legal stuff, getting custody sorted but I'd like her to have family around and that's where all my family is. I know Jedda didn't have family but I am sure she had friends who became like her family and probably were the only family Addy knew."

"Jedda was a wonderful Mum, she adored Addy but they lived a pretty quiet life. There were never a lot of people around her, there were only a few close friends." Tara knew Jedda better than anyone. "She'd want Addy to be surrounded by people who love her. I think her childhood made her very protective."

"My family loves anyone who walks through the door. She'll get lots of love and attention. I have two older sisters as well as Iris" He told them how jealous they were because Iris was here and they weren't. "They would have all come if they could. I have a nephew who is about six months older than Addy is, a niece who is just turned two and a little nephew who is 6 months old."

"What do you do?"

"I am a Zoo Keeper."

"Addy loves animals. Jedda always took her to the zoo." Alfie smiled at that, he hoped that was because of him. Jedda may not have told him about his daughter but maybe she did tell Addy about him.

"I was working at the Open Range Zoo when I met Jedda, my Dad started that Zoo before he died. We grew up around Zoos and animals. Maybe I can take her there one day?"

"She'd love that." Tara really liked him. He seemed to just want to do what was best for that beautiful lonely little girl. She would miss her but if she got any positives out of this whole tragedy was that Addy may get a beautiful family out of it.

"I'd love to take her." It was going to be a bit of back and forth for the next week or so. Addy had to get to know him and feel comfortable with him first and foremost. "She doesn't know who I am?" It was more a statement than a question and Alfie was a little confused about why they didn't want her to know who he was.

"She will soon." Liz reassured him. "The Psychologist wanted her to meet you first before introducing that to her."

"Why?"

"Addy's been through a lot the past few weeks, how she reacts to you determines how they will introduce the fact you are her father. They are just trying to do what's best for Addy."

"I get that." He ran his hands over his face. "I'm just anxious, you know."

They had an appointment with the Child Psychologist tomorrow. Alfie would see her first and then they would bring Addy in to talk to them both. Liz organised for them to spend some time together in the morning at a local park and then Addy would see him again in the afternoon, and hopefully Addy would be happy to see him. Alfie talked to a Child Psychologist before he left the US and they suggested that he didn't overwhelm the little girl with lots of affection, touching or gifts too early. It would be better if he built at base for their relationship with mutual trust, fun and play rather than try and 'buy' her love. It made sense, but now he had met her he just wanted to scoop her up and love her. He wanted to take her home with him, he didn't want to leave her behind now that he had met her.

Tara gave him a notebook, she had written down some things that Addy liked. What she ate, what she didn't like, songs she liked, her routines, TV shows she watched, her favourite toys. She added some photos, including photos of her as a baby and drawings so that he could get to know her a little more. He thanked them both and held it tightly in his hands. It was like his whole life was in that notebook now, he knew, at least, Addy's whole life was in it.

Crouching down in front of the little girl he said goodbye. "It's been fun to meet you, Addy and thank you for my card, I love it. Liz thinks we should all go to the park tomorrow, would you like that?"

"Yes." She nodded. "Bye." Addy waved at him as she held Liz's hand.

Alfie just stood and watched her go and Iris eventually touched his arm. "Alfie, let's go."

"God Bug, what just happened?"


	44. Father or Dad

"Alfie, she's beautiful." Iris gushed as soon as they left the building.

"She is, isn't she. She looks a little bit like Jedda and a bit like Mom." He was starting to feel the past two weeks rushing up at him, he was exhausted. It had been a big few days and they had a few more ahead of them. "Do you mind if we don't talk about it for a bit."

Okay, sure." Iris didn't understand why and asked him.

"I'm just trying to process it all Bug. Don't worry." He sighed. "I think I am just going to go back to the apartment and then go for a run. Clear my head."

"But you are okay right?"

"I'm okay. Just a bit…you know freaked. It feels a bit real now, I need to get my head around that."

It had been suggested that they get a three bedroom apartment while they were here because at some stage they were hoping to have Addy with them and it would show the Department of Child Protection that they knew what they were doing and were prepared to take care of Addy properly. Often, in these situations the interested parties would get a hotel room and not think about what would happen when they had a child overnight.

While Alfie was out running Iris called Colton. She missed him, she missed sleeping beside him. They had spent enough time apart already. One night she could do, two at most but they had been away a week now and it was going to be another week at least. She woke him up. "Hey, Wombat." He muttered groggily. "This is sweet."

"I woke you?"

"Ummm…yeah. It's three am." He didn't sit up or even turn on a light. "Love of my life, reason for living what can I do for you?"

"Talk to me."

"I am talking. How was today? Today was the day right? How did it go?"

"Really well, she's beautiful Colt. She's a lovely little thing, so pretty and sweet."

"How did Alfie go?"

"Good I think."

"You think?"

"Yeah, he's just be a little off since we left, he's gone for a run." Iris was sitting crossed legged on her bed, she had been in the lounge room but Alfie had left the file on the table and she just wanted to read it but he hadn't really looked at it yet and it wouldn't be fair to him to go through it before he had. It was driving her nuts so it was best to remove herself from temptation.

"Baby, you know Alfie better than most, he needs time to think about things. I am sure he's fine."

"There is a file on the table with all stuff about Addy, he hasn't looked at it. It would be bad to read it wouldn't it?"

"Yes. You know it Iris. Just give him time." Colton knew how impatient she was for this to happen. She wanted to fly in scoop her up and bring her home so they could love her. The fact that Addy was about the same age as Iris was when she had her whole life ripped out from under her had cut Iris a little too close to the bone. She wanted to fix things for her niece and her brother.

"I know, I know. She's so cute. I just want to steal her."

"And that scares me."

"Why?"

"Because I can see you harassing me when you get back to procreate with you."

"And that would be bad how? You don't want to procreate with me?" Iris had insisted they talked like nothing had changed.

"Yes, yes I do. Just want a bit more practice first."

"Now?"

"Um, no." Iris laughed at his response. He could be such a prude sometimes. He'd get all embarrassed about phone sex but always enjoyed it when Iris got him to loosen up. They had no choice when Iris was living in Albany and Colton had certainly not been shy then. "Not the sort of practice I meant."

"Anyway, we have a meeting with the Child Psychologist tomorrow, I guess that's freaking him out a little. Could be make or break or so he thinks. Addy really seemed to like him though, she was happy to play and talk to him and apparently she loves animals. We are going to see her in the park in the morning so they can play a little bit first before the meeting. I think they are telling Addy that he's her Dad tomorrow."

"It sounds really good Bug."

By the time Alfie got back from his run Iris was starting to cook dinner. He headed straight for the shower before grabbing a beer and sitting down at the table and opening the file. Iris was desperate to talk to him but she let him read it in peace. "Am I crazy?" He closed the cover. "Thinking I can do this?"

"Do what?"

"Be her Dad?"

"Alfie, you are her Dad. What options are there? What happens to her if you don't?"

"I don't know." He waved his arms around indicating that this place is her home, this is where she belonged. "This is all she has known; she doesn't know me."

"So what? I don't remember anything before Mom and Dad died, she won't remember you not being around before now. What's done is done. Let's not look back. Right now, this where we are at." Iris knew he was just trying to come to terms with everything. "Yesterday is done Alfie, tomorrow is what matters now."

"I know. Fuck. I don't want to fuck it up."

"That's why you have me here." He was glad she came. Iris had talked him off a lot of ledges lately. "You are not going to fuck it up."

He handed her the file, winking at her telling her he knew she'd be desperate to read it and fill in the gossips back home. He was letting her handle them which was a weight off his shoulders. He did want to keep them informed but the relentlessness of Lola and Mae sometimes got too much for him. He didn't tell her about the letter though, Iris had seen him look at the envelope and put it to the side and he took it into his room.

Iris could hear him pacing around half the night. He was stressing out, finally he stopped and slept until she woke him at half eight. They were meeting Liz and Addy at 10am in King's Park so they could spend an hour or so together before the afternoon appointments. Alfie didn't want to be late.

"Do you want me to push you on the swing?" Alfie crouched down and said good morning to Addy and was relieved that she seemed happy to see him again. She had waved at them as when they arrived.

"Yes." She took off towards the swing with Alfie in hot pursuit while Iris stayed and had a chat to Liz.

"How was he yesterday? That was a big day for both of them?"

"He was good, he is a little smitten with her, we both are." Iris was watching them on the swing and they could hear Addy yelling at him to push her quicker. "He spent a lot of time reading the file, trying to learn everything he could. He's always been a bit of a crammer."

"Addy liked him, she talked about him a little at home. She loved that he liked giraffes, she was excited by that."

Alfie would be happy to know that. "He does like giraffes."

"He seems lovely and very sweet."

"He is, but I am biased."

"Oh I don't know." Liz laughed. "I have seen plenty of siblings that can barely stand each other over the years."

Iris couldn't imagine it but Colton had certainly opened her eyes a little to how not all families were as happy as they were with each other. "I guess we had no choice. It felt like it was always the four of us against the world."

"Perhaps that is a good thing for Addy, you can empathise with her."

"My heart hurts for her, but she's still got a Dad right?"

"Does he want to be her Dad or just her Father."

"He wants to be her Dad, he is her Dad." Iris constantly felt like they were both being judged and of course they were. "He was a Dad the moment the lawyer called him. He's taken care of me his whole life, he will be an amazing Dad to Addy." Iris could never quite explain it. "You could never say we were lucky to lose our Mom and Dad when we were so young but we were lucky that we had each other and an amazing family around us. Grandparents, Uncles and Aunts. I feel the same way about Addy, losing her Mom is horrible, but I take solace in the fact that she has Alfie, and all of us."

"That's a lovely thing to say." Liz had been watching them. Alfie was being so attentive and making her laugh. "He seems comfortable around her?"

"He is great with kids, Sam and Poppy love him. Billy is too young to care but he can always get him to smile. He's the one person Billy will smile for, even if he's in the middle of a screaming match, he loves his Uncle Alfie." Iris watched them for a bit. "He's always working with kids at the zoo and he loves it. More than adults sometimes I think."

Alfie was a bundle of nerves by the time he had spoken to the Psychologist. When she told him they were going to bring Addy in now his palms were sweaty and he rubbed them nervously on his jeans. "Hi Addy." He waved at her and she looked happy to see someone she knew in the room. Alfie had asked Iris to stay, he wanted her moral support and he would need her if things went pear shaped but apart from saying hello to Addy, Iris stayed quiet.

The Psychologist watched them interact for a while. Addy was telling him about her lunch. "I had chips."

"Did you? I love chips, did you save me some?"

"No, in my belly now." She giggled and leant on his leg. "It's big now."

"Your belly?"

"Yes." Leaning back she rubbed her belly. "All full."

Lauren, the Pyschologist asked Addy if she wanted to do a puzzle together while Alfie watched on and Iris was not sure if anyone else noticed how nervous he was. Lauren was building Addy's trust before she dropped the bombshell and the anticipation was killing them.

"Addy, sweetheart. You know Mummy died, do you remember that?"

"Yes."

"That means she can't come home again."

"Yes."

"Okay." They played for a few more minutes. "You know that we all start off with a Mummy and Daddy?"

"Daddy go away."

"He was, but when Mummy died we called him and he came to see you."

"Yeah?" Her eyes lit up and she looked excited.

Lauren pointed to Alfie. "Alfie, he came to see you because he is your Daddy."

"Wow." Her eyes widened and he was glad that she didn't look terrified or cry and scream hysterically.

"Is that okay?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to spend some time with Alfie?"

"Yes, he like 'raffes too."

Lauren beckoned Alfie to join in and take over talking to her. All of a sudden he didn't know what to say and that was an unusual feeling for Alfie, he always had something to say, welcomed or not. "We could go see the giraffes. Would you like that?"

"Yes."

While Addy seemed to forget all about Alfie being her Daddy he found it strange to hear it said out loud. Lauren reminded him that it may take her a while to remember and right now she still just knew him as Alfie. He was happy for her to call him Alfie if that's all she remembered but when anyone else asked her something or to say goodbye or when they were talking to her about him they should call him her Dad, just so she could start making that link. So when Liz and Addy were leaving she was asked to say goodbye to her Daddy. "Bye." She waved and blew him a kiss. Iris loved the look on his face. He was more in love with her today than he was yesterday.

"So Daddy." Iris teased him. "How cute was that?"

"Cute."

"You love her already don't you?"

"Bug, I loved her the moment I knew she was mine, before I even met her."

"I think it went well today. She doesn't seem bothered by it?" Iris knew how nervous he was, he was worried she'd hate him or hate the fact that suddenly he was her Dad. It was a crazy mess.

They had promised to call the family tonight to fill them in on the progress. Although Iris talked to Colton every day, the rest of them were desperate to find out what was going on and Iris was messaging Lola and Mae with updates but they wanted to talk to Alfie.

Iris made sure he was ready for the crazy before they dialled in. Just before they got on the computer Alfie's phone beeped with a message. It was from Liz and it was a short video of Addy all dressed ready for bed in her Pyjamas, apparently she wanted to say goodnight. The video was of Addy blowing a kiss to the camera_, 'night, night Alfie.' _He thought it was beautiful and it got to him and he was still a little emotional when Lola and Mae got online.

"I'm going to send you something." He forwarded the message and they loved it.

"Alfie, she's precious. I can't wait to meet her." Lola blubbered. She insisted it was being a new mom that was making her teary but that was just Lola, she was a walking bag of emotion. He didn't know what Mae's reason was, she crying too.

He filled them in on how things were going and that they were coming over tomorrow afternoon. "I think it's without Liz, her foster mom. It will be with DCP so they can see how she goes without someone she knows close by; we are both really excited." They were looking forward to it. Things were moving quite quickly and he got the impression that they wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. That was okay by him but the biggest hurdle was still yet to come. He needed to convince the Family Law Court that taking Addy out of the country and back to America was the best thing for her. He had a family who was waiting to love her and help her grow up.

They had a great afternoon. Petra, from DCP just sat back and let Alfie and Iris interact with her. They took her swimming in the hotel pool and Addy loved it. She spent far too long jumping off the step for Alfie to catch her. "Catch me Alfie." She chanted before he leapt off into his arms. She hung onto his back while he swam and squealed when he threw her up in the air and caught her before she went under. He remembered how much they loved swimming when they lived here. You didn't do it as much back home but they had a pool in their backyard in Australia and they loved it especially Iris, who was a little water baby. Addy apparently loved swimming and it showed and she didn't want to get out of the pool. It tired her out though and she fell asleep on the couch in Alfie's lap.

He chatted to Petra while she slept, about his family back home, his upbringing and his work. He was passionate about what he did and it showed, it was something that he had inherited from his Dad and he was determined to make him proud. He hoped they were both proud of him now. "My Dad loved his job and sharing it with us, he was busy but always included us in everything. He did what he thought was best for us, that's why he bought us here to Australia for a while, not only for his career but he wanted us to experience life in a different country."

Alfie was constantly touching her, playing with her hair, rubbing her back and hands. He remembered his Mom doing that and he also remembered MiMi doing it to comfort him when he was sad. "My Mom's parents looked after us after they died and continued to make sure we were bought up how Mom and Dad wanted. I've always wanted to be a ZooKeeper like he was, well not always, I was going to be a cop when I was little but soon changed my mind when he died and it's been my focus since then. My Dad did all that and was an amazing Dad for the short time I had him, I want to be like him."

"Alfie, I think you are doing so well. Look at Addy, she trusts you." He looked down at the little girl with her head on his chest. He never wanted to let her go. He hadn't asked her to sit with him, he sat down and she bought a book over for him to read. Initially she stood beside him and leant on his legs but she then climbed into his lap and they read a few books before she fell asleep.

"I won't let her down. I didn't know about her for three years, I wish I had but I will make it up to her."

"Culturally I think you acknowledge how important it is for Indigenous children to be bought up with some understanding of their heritage. The Stolen Generation has changed the way we deal with Indigenous children and ensuring their backgrounds are not whitewashed. Have you thought about that? That question will come up at the hearing."

"I have. I was always fascinated by Jedda's cultural background, she taught me a lot and we did a lot of work with local indigenous elders and groups when I worked at the zoo. Right from the start, when my Dad was setting up this place it was always included and we spent a lot of time with the elders learning about their history, their stories and way of life. I was still close to some of them and have talked to them already on how to make sure Addy learns about that part of her life and what we can do, just as I want her to learn about my life too. I certainly want her to remember her mother, like Iris has never forgotten our parents, I think that is really important for her."

Petra assured him that ultimately Addy's welfare would always be the centre of any decision that was made. What was best for her was all that mattered and in most circumstances being with family was the best thing for the child and something they always strived to achieve, as long as that family was stable and loving. Alfie obviously ticked all those boxes and she felt that this was more a formality than anything. Not that she would tell him that and give him false hope, a lot depended on the judge on the day.

Addy was excited to see Liz again and happy to go home with her which worried Alfie a little, he was worried she would tell them that she didn't want to stay with him. It was all consuming and Iris convinced him it was okay to just forget about it for one night and go out and catch up with friends, he'd worked here for five years and everyone wanted to catch up with him. Alfie was looking forward to just taking a moment and finding the time to breathe. Despite Alfie begging Iris to come with him she declined, she wanted to stay in, talk to Colt and get an early night. It had been intense for her as well and she had been living in Alfie's pocket for more than a week, riding all the bumps with him, a few hours away from him would do them both the world of good.

He did introduce her to Sheldon when he stopped by to pick Alfie up. "Jesus Alfie, mate you need to stop bringing your hot sisters to this country." Sheldon muttered on the way down to the car. "It should be illegal."

"Umm, it's my sister Dude and Iris has a guy back home."

"Of course she does. Hey, how's Mae?"

"Good man, really good. Her little girl Poppy is as cute as a button and as crazy as her mother."

"What brings you back?" Alfie hadn't told Sheldon why he was here, he just contacted him and said he was back for a week or two and wanted to catch up and didn't have a lot of free time.

"We'll need a beer first."

He wasn't drunk when he got home, he'd been pretty strict about that. He didn't want anything to fuck this up and having a hangover wouldn't have been a smart move. DCP could drop in at any time to check up on him. The last thing he needed was them to turn up in the morning and he had a hangover.

Iris didn't hear him come in but it was late when Alfie woke her up. He handed her the letter; he had read it so many times and it was burning a hole in him and it had been sitting on his bed when he came in and it played on his mind. "I can't carry this alone anymore." He told her, his voice was shaking. "It's from Jedda."

Alfie sat on the edge of the bed while Iris read it.

_Alfie,_

_Thank you for my greatest gift and for giving me the only light in my life. For three years the light was on._

_Our daughter, Adelaide filled me with hope for so long and I tried so hard to be everything she needed and wanted and to show her the beauty in the world._

_Even when my world was always dark._

_I always told her about her Daddy, how much he loved what he did and his family and that's why he was so far away. I told her that you would love her, if only you'd stayed._

_I started to realise that one day soon she would want to know about you and why you weren't in her life. I never wanted her to think you didn't want her and I worried that she would hate me for keeping her away from you, her father._

_The thought of Adelaide hating me was more that I could handle. That darkness got blacker._

_Please take care of my darling Adelaide, she's all the very best parts of you, I hope she's the best parts of me too._

_I always looked back on that time in my life that you were in as some of my happiest, at the time I didn't think I deserved it and I know we were never going to be forever but Adelaide is forever. I know you will love her and take care of her, I saw how much family meant to you. Afterall that's why you left and I couldn't stop you, I couldn't make you stay, I couldn't keep you away from them. _

_Tell Adelaide that I loved her, I loved her smile, her cheeky laugh, her heart, her hugs and kisses. I will miss them the most. The first time she hugs you will break you in the best possible way. She was my everything and I never wanted to hurt her so I had to go before she was hurt by me._

_I remember you telling me that your sister doesn't remember your parents, so Adelaide won't remember how much I hurt her by leaving her. That's why it has to be now._

_My family don't know her, they know about her but never wanted to be in her life. I didn't want them in her life either, our daughter deserved better than to be dragged into the mire of my past. Please don't let them destroy Adelaide like they destroyed me._

_Love her Alfie._

_You are a good man and will be the father she needs and deserves. You have the one thing I could never give her, a loving family. You have a family that you would give up everything for, Adelaide can be part of that and she will thrive being surrounded by that love. I did my best but I don't know if it was enough, I always felt she wanted more._

_Thank you for being part of my life, the best part of my life, thank you for Adelaide and I'll be watching her grow and have a beautiful life because of you, I'll see her from a place that no longer causes me pain._

_Jedda._

Iris didn't know what to say, Alfie was so utterly broken. She reached for his hand. "I promise you Alfie, we will make sure you have everything you need to make Jedda's dreams for Adelaide come true. Everything."

"I wish I'd known."

"I know."

"Please don't think that I told Jedda that your suffering was less than mine because you didn't have Mom and Dad for as long as we did. I might have said it was perhaps different but I never want you to think that I think you had it easy. Maybe it is harder for you because you don't have those memories." He was rambling. "I don't know."

Iris shuffled forward and put her hand on his cheek to stop him. "Alfie, don't. We all had a different path, a different feeling but it didn't mean we all don't hurt."

"I wish they were here right now; they'd know what to do."

"You know what to do Alfie, you are doing it. You are being Adelaide's Dad, that's what they'd want, that's what you want, that's what Adelaide needs." Iris made him look at her. "You are what Adelaide needs. We can't change the past, any of it, but we can and we will be her future."

"Thank you for coming with me. I couldn't do this by myself. I feel so alone right now and you are the only thing that is holding me together."

"No I am not." Iris smiled at her brother. "Your beautiful incredible little daughter is together with the spirit and heart that you were born with."

She had no idea if it helped him but Iris hoped he wouldn't turn back. He lay on her bed for a while and talked to her about their Mom and Dad until he eventually left her to sleep. He wasn't sleeping much at the moment which concerned Iris a little. When Alfie was stressed her suffered a little from insomnia. She worried that he would hit a wall.

They had a day without seeing Addy and it drove Alfie mad. He was snippy and grumpy. They had some legal things to sort out and an appointment with Immigration and the US Embassy. It was exhausting and he worried about not seeing Addy. Liz let him talk to her briefly on the phone, she didn't really say much and Liz did send him some videos of her playing and his usual goodnight video.

Iris growled at him. "Go away Alfred?" It was barely six am and Alfie was up. He bought Iris in a coffee to get her moving.

"What?" He scoffed. "Just trying to be nice."

"Nice, it's fucking dawn. I don't need a coffee at dawn. Relax."

"Grumpy bitch." Of course he was up early, he barely slept, he'd already been for a run to burn off nervous energy and he wanted someone to talk too, so he woke Iris up like he had done a hundred times before. "Talk to me."

"No, go away. Call Lola or Mae or Colton, I don't care. Just leave me in peace."

"Iris Adelaide Ruzek Hollister." He opened the blinds in her room, flooding it with light. "Get up, it's a glorious day."

"Are you high?"

"On life yes."

"Go for a run for the love of god."

"Already done that." He was bouncing around her room like Tigger, tugging at the sheets on her bed before he flopped down heavily beside her. Iris sighed, she wasn't going back to sleep, he'd made that obvious.

They were spending the day with alone with Addy and they were taking her to the zoo. She was being dropped off at 830am. It was the first time they had been left alone with her and Alfie couldn't wait. Iris was excited too, she just was able to sleep through her excitement.

"You aren't leaving are you?"

"Nope." He pinched one of her pillows and propped himself up on the headboard and reached for the coffee he bought for her. "Do you think she'll like it?"

"No, she'll hate it, she's never talked about any animal, Liz wrote in her book that she was terrified of the zoo. She will hate it." Iris scowled at him and then whinged that he had taken her coffee. "You are seriously doing my fucking head in already."

Addy had been so excited about the Zoo that she had told Liz as soon as she came to pick her up the when they'd had the DCP visit. When she sent him his goodnight message she told him again '_We go Zoo. I sleep now. 'Night Night Alfie.' _

"Are you going to be a bitch all day."

"Not if you give me coffee now you have woken up." Iris snatched his pillow back just as her phone beeped beside her bed with a message.

"The Stallion?"

"Yes. Do you want to stay and listen?"

"To you having phone sex, no thank you." Alfie scooted from the bed. "I'll get your coffee, say Hi to Colt."

Alfie left them to it, he did bring her in a coffee and disappeared pretty quickly. He couldn't thank Iris enough for coming with him but he knew she was missing Colton. He was doing them a solid taking care of Adam for them, Gus was certainly helping as were the girls but Adam had refused to leave his own house to stay with any of them so Colton was doing a fair chunk and they could only imagine the stories Adam was telling and the grief he was giving him.

"We see 'Raffes today Alfie?" Addy barely got out of the car before she was asking him about the giraffes.

"Yes, they are waiting for us." He had called the Zoo yesterday and told them they were coming up early before it opened. The privilege of being a prior employee and the son of the man who established the place. Sam Hollister's legacy lived on. Alfie had struggled with that when he first arrived, he was desperate to establish himself as more than the son of Sam Hollister and he worked hard to get to where he was now.

Iris wasn't sure who was more excited. The 3-year old or her adult brother.

Addy sang all the way to the Zoo, badly and most of her words were skewed or missing but it was cute. She had become quite the chatterbox over the past few days, the more she got comfortable with them the more she came out of her shell. They were used to this with Sam, he never stopped talking or singing. Addy grabbed Alfie's hand as soon as they arrived, she knew she wasn't allowed to walk across roads or in parking lots without holding an adult's hand and right now Alfie was her adult.

He was totally smitten with her and every time Iris caught his eye she loved how happy he looked. It was like he found his north star. It wasn't to say he was drifting through life but he wasn't ready to settle down. According to Adam he was very much like his Uncle, loose and single and always ready to mingle. This would bring him to a grinding halt and he didn't seem to care one iota, it was like he'd been waiting for this. If Gus had been waiting for Rhiannon to rein him in, then Alfie had been reined in by a three year old.

They visited the giraffe's first and seeing them up close as they did surprised Addy. "Wow." She muttered and then preceded to claw her way up Alfie's leg when the big girl got way too close. She buried her head in his shoulder when a huge giraffe tongue came towards her. She was a lot more confident from the safe arms of Alfie and did end up giving her a few carrots and giggled when the large black tongue licked her arm.

"Did you like that?" Alfie asked her as they moved on from the giraffes. He was still carrying her and loved the feeling of her arms around his neck. She was reeling him in minute by minute.

"Yes. They big."

"They are very tall. You were so brave."

"And big tongue."

"She liked you. She was giving you kisses."

They were treated like royalty, even once the gates opened to the public. Very few people remembered their Dad, but most people remembered Alfie or were soon told who they were. Even Iris was feted a little. Hamish Vizard came to meet them and spent a bit of time with Iris while Alfie was showing Addy around the Australian Animals. He showed her some of the plans for the Zoo when her Dad was just starting it up and how they had evolved over the years.

Iris slipped away quietly at one stage and Alfie knew she'd gone to sit under their tree and left her to it. Iris didn't do it as much as Lola and Mae but every now and then they would find out that she had been to the Zoo and had some quiet time 'with' their parents, she never talked about it and rarely went when she knew her brother was working. Coming all the way here and not spending some time with them wasn't an option. She took at photo of the tree and sent it to Lola and Mae, they would want to see how big and beautiful it was.

Alfie made his way to the cultural centre where he met up with a few of the elders he had worked with in the past and they sat down and showed him some ways to help Addy understand her Indigenous background. They gave him some books to read for himself and his family and some books for Addy. He also was given some traditional good luck charms and an Indigenous dot painting that was painted specifically for him. _'A man and his child.' _Alfie loved it and Walter, the elder of the group agreed to write a character reference for Alfie should he need it during Addy's custody hearing. He was more than happy to be Alfie's mentor as he helped Adelaide grow up with her indigenous heritage and without her mother.

"Kaya Maaman. You are a good man Alfie and you will raise a beautiful strong Nap." Walter rested his head on Alfie's forehead and Alfie closed his eyes and let the moment happen. He held onto Addy while Walter wished her good travels.

"Bug, Bug, Bug." Addy charged towards her Aunt. "…'kats liked me." He had taken her to see the meerkats and they were very friendly and scrambled over her and made her laugh hysterically and he felt bad dragging her away. "They tickle."

"Did they? Did Daddy help you?"

"Alfie hold me."

"We see 'lephants now. You come too?"

They saw the elephants and the Lions before stopping for lunch and Addy was buzzing, she barely sat still long enough to eat anything.

Iris took her to the gift shop and bought her a companion; she got her animal. Iris explained to Addy how they all had one, that she had a wombat and her Daddy had a giraffe and Addy chose an Echidna. She had loved visiting the Australian Animals and the Echidna was busy searching for ants and Addy was fascinated by it.

Alfie watched them, Iris had wanted to do it and even if Addy didn't understand how much of a big deal it was, it meant she was part of their mob now it meant a lot to him that Iris insisted on getting it for her. She didn't let it go all afternoon.

By the time they got back to the car Addy was shattered and Alfie carried her and Iris was amazed at how he seemed to have just slipped into his role as her Daddy like putting on a jacket.

The way Addy hugged him when Liz came to pick her up was adorable. "Bye Alfie." He didn't want to let her go, he would have kept her if he could. The next step was to have her overnight and he couldn't wait. Even though she had just left he got his usual goodnight message before she went to bed, along with a kiss. Liz told him that Addy was so happy and talked all the way home and told them all about the zoo at dinner and everything Alfie did with her. Liz also sent him a photo of her sound asleep with her Echidna.

He sat and looked through all the photos he took today and sent some to his family. His favourite was a selfie with Addy and a giraffe, she was hugging him tightly around his neck and smiling. She looked like Polly, it was the first thing he noticed when he saw the photo and Iris had said the same.

Sending it to Lola she replied. "Oh my god Alfie, it's Mom."

They treasured every single one of the photos and the nightly messages he got from Addy, he was in love with her and his entire family was too.


	45. She's A Girl

If Iris thought Alfie was a bundle of nervous energy when they had Addy for the day, it was nothing compared to the first overnight stay. It was a huge deal, for all of them. Addy was being dropped off before lunch and Liz had sent him a message that morning telling him how excited Addy was. She added a picture of her bag all packed ready to go, with her Echidna perched on top. All going well they would have her until 5pm the next day.

Once that was out of the way and Addy coped they were also gearing up to have her from Friday night to Sunday evening a few days later. It had to happen quickly because the Department wanted to get this case wrapped and off the books. She had a loving family ready to care for her, the sooner that happened for Addy the better.

Alfie had asked a million questions about what she ate, when and how often and what time she went to bed. Everything he could think of. He drove not only Liz nuts, but Iris and his sisters as well. If he couldn't get an answer from Iris he would text Lola or Mae. They loved it, it made them feel part of what was going on the other side of the world.

"I swear to god I am going to smother you soon." Iris muttered when he woke her up early yet again.

"Bug…." Alfie ignored her. "…I've just realised something."

"What? What could you have possibly forgotten?"

"Well nothing, I don't think. Unless you think I've forgotten something. You'd tell me right?" It made him panic a little. "Right?" Alfie was a nervous wreck and his early morning freak outs were far from cute. They had gotten old very quickly.

"You've forgotten how to think, that's what you've fucking forgotten."

"Good, great, thanks for the feedback Iris." He poked her leg repeatedly, hard enough to be annoying. "Anyway, as I was saying, I've just realised something. I'm, like male…."

"Oh for fuck sake, I thought you knew that. I thought you knew about penis's and the like. You certainly know what to do with it seeing as we are here because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants or wrap it properly."

"You are a bitch when you are grumpy. Does Colt know this?"

"Colt hasn't woken me up because he suddenly just figured out he's a boy."

"I bet he's woken you up because he is a boy though hey?" Alfie shot back at her and Iris tried not to smile.

"What's up Alfred?" Iris sighed; he wasn't going away.

"Alfie is fine…" he bit back sarcastically. "….well Adelaide is a girl."

"Fuck, no? When did that happen?"

"You are no fucking help." He stormed from the room, pulling her duvet off her at the same time and dumping it by the door, which was typical Alfie. Reluctantly Iris got up and pulled on some leggings and a hoodie. He had already told her that she couldn't walk around in her pyjamas in case DCP stopped by. It was over the top and ridiculous and Iris had scoffed at him and then did what he asked. He was paranoid about ruining this so Iris ceded to his insanity.

Alfie was pacing in the lounge looking at his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Figuring out who will be the least annoyed with me calling."

"Alfie. What's up? What's got your jocks in a knot?"

He snorted. "Bug, well I don't want people to get the wrong idea."

"About what? Us? I make it very clear I am your sister, we sleep in separate rooms, we haven't shared a bed since I was five and I am in a very committed loving relationship with someone other than my brother. Incest isn't really my thing."

"Well thank fuck for that and it's disgusting to even think about." He shuddered. "No, like if Addy needs a bath or shower, or helping getting changed. She needs help with her swimmers and like I am male and I don't want her to think, or the courts or DCP that I am…." Iris held up her hand to stop him.

"Alfred…" she barked. "…you are her Dad. This is what Dad's do. Suck it up, get used to it. I am not always going to be here." Up until now Iris had always taken her to the bathroom, got her changed and helped her when needed but she would only do it until they both got to know each other a little better. "How do you think things happen?"

"But I don't know how comfortable she is around men. She might not want me like, helping her."

Iris tried not to laugh; he was being serious. "Alfred, Adelaide has no idea about things like that yet. She may know she's a girl but I bet she has no idea why or what that means. I used to shower with Dad apparently, I doubted I cared, and he didn't either. You used to shower with Mom or bath with all of us. That's just growing up. Addy will be fine and if she isn't then we will figure it out. Although maybe don't shower with her just yet, you know just in case."

"Oh that's not happening, like ever." He really wished she'd stop calling him Alfred.

"I'd like to see you try and stop it." She chuckled. "Relax."

"Okay. It's not weird though right?"

"What? You taking care of a girl? No Alfie it's not weird, it's being her Dad. Don't forget, you are all she has now. It's up to you." Iris headed to the kitchen. If she was up she needed coffee. "You've looked after Poppy right and what did you have to do, change her?"

"Yeah, but she was like a baby and had no idea. I was just wondering that's all."

"What do you think George does, you think Mae lets him get away with doing nothing because she's got a vag and he doesn't?"

"No, Jesus I was just asking."

Iris handed him a coffee. "And freaking out?"

"Yes and freaking out."

"Then don't." She patted him on the shoulder as she sashayed past him. "Now, I am going to have a shower. You are not welcome."

"Don't be fucking gross."

Addy happily carried her backpack into the apartment. She had it stuffed to the gills with toys, her echidna clutched tightly in her hand and a smile on her face. Her face did fall a little when Liz told her she wouldn't be back until dinner time tomorrow and to have fun with her Daddy and Iris but she waved goodbye and cuddled into Alfie's shoulder for a few minutes.

They took her up to King's Park for a play in the nature playground and some afternoon tea. Iris enjoyed relaxing and reading in the afternoon sun while Addy and Alfie explored the park. She spied them heading back with Addy perched high on his shoulders and they both looked like they'd had a good time. She was chatting away to him at a million miles an hour and Alfie had a grin from ear to ear.

She bounded up to Iris once Alfie had lifted her off his shoulders and threw herself at her Aunt. "Catch me Bug." Addy declared. They did love how she had started calling Iris 'Bug' too.

"Did you and Daddy have fun?"

"Yes. We climb tree."

"Did you? Was Daddy scared? He's a scaredy cat."

"No, silly Bug." She shook her head. "Alfie help me."

Iris gave him a high five. "Good job Daddy." Addy joined in, giving them both a high five.

"We go swim now." Alfie had promised her that they could have a swim in the pool back at the apartment before dinner.

Before they left the park she asked to use the bathroom, although surprisingly her word for bathroom was 'dunny' and that was very Jedda like. He remembered that Jedda always called it the 'dunny'. Alfie looked a bit perplexed. He had helped her at home before they left but a public toilet was a now different kettle of fish. "Just use the parent's room Alfie." Iris nudged him when he stopped and looked worried in front of the toilets.

"Yeah? Like what if a Mum is in there."

"So what, as long as you actually have Addy with you it doesn't matter, it's not creepy and you aren't doing anything wrong." Iris urged him. Addy was starting to wriggle. "Welcome to being a parent. Now go before she pee's herself and you have to deal with that too." It was relief that the parent's room was empty though. One bridge at a time.

Addy happily unpacked her bag looking for her swimmers when they got back to the apartment, although her idea of unpacking left a lot to be desired, there was stuff everywhere as she tossed it aside. She wasn't waiting for anything or anyone and would have gone without them given half the chance. "Oh bugger." She muttered as she tried to get her swimmers on and got both legs through one hole.

"Let me help." Alfie tugged on the tangled swimmers. "What did you do?"

"I stuck Alfie."

He stripped her off and helped her, holding onto his shoulders as she stepped into them properly. She looked so cute in her swimmers, they had bright pink bottoms and a floral top and with her darker skin and hair she was impossibly cute. "Hurry up Bug." Addy dashed into Iris's room and urged her to get a move on. She was hopping from foot to foot and ran back out when Alfie called her to come and told her that Iris would come down in a minute.

One thing she did know was she wasn't allowed in the water until an adult said it was okay. Addy wasn't a rule breaker, she always waited, impatiently, but she was waiting. "Ready?" Alfie threw the towels on the sun lounge and jumped in the pool. Addy dived off the edge into Alfie's arms and then climbed onto his back and she hung on like a monkey as he swum up to the deep end.

He loved watching her try and swim and as long as he close she was willing to give it a go. Her little arms and legs would thrash about and she looked like she'd be shark bait but Addy loved it and would stay in the water for hours if he let her. When Iris finally made her appearance they threw Addy between them and she squealed with joy. She loved it and listening to her laughs and giggles and how confidently she asked Alfie or Iris for help was sweet.

Iris made him shower her after the swim and get her into her pyjamas while she cooked dinner. Addy loved spaghetti bolognaise and that's what they decided to do, make whatever was her favourite. "She's obviously your daughter." Iris had laughed when they read that she loved bacon. If Alfie had to eat one food for the rest of his life, bacon was it.

There were a few tears when she went to bed. It broke Alfie's heart when she asked when Liz was coming, so they made her a little video and sent it to her. Alfie read her a few stories and lay down beside her and stroked her back until she fell asleep.

"Are you happy?" Iris left them to it and was watching TV when he finally came out. Flopping down on the couch he even refused a beer. He didn't want to drink around Addy at the moment, the whole spectre of DCP loomed large.

"Well she's asleep."

"Yes, but are you happy?"

"Bug, my daughter is here, spending the night. I'm happy…"

"But?"

"Feeling the pressure a little. I mean let's not beat around the bush, this is a test. They are seeing how I go caring for her and if I fuck it up or she hates it then what?" he shrugged. "I can't lose her."

"You are not going to lose her. Alfie they are not going to put her in the system when she has you. That's the last thing they want for her."

He rubbed his face with both hands. "I know, but I am allowed to worry aren't I?"

"Yes, but not over stupid things. Worry about how we are going to get her back to the US, where she is going to live, go to school, worry about the fact that it's summer here and screaming winter back home and she has no clothes and the chance of buying anything suitable here is remote. Worry about how to get all her stuff back home."

"First things first Bug, I've got to get her first."

"You will."

Alfie was up to her twice through the night. He woke up to her calling for her Mum and it was a kick in the guts. He eventually just slept on her bed and that seemed to help her settle. He hated listening to her cry for her Mum because he didn't know how to help her, she had thrashed about and sobbed for almost an hour and Alfie just lie next to her.

Addy was watching TV; her favourite show was on in the morning and Jedda always allowed her to watch it. She apparently didn't get a lot of TV time but this was her favourite at the moment. Alfie was watching her. She had finally slept and Alfie woke after an hour or so and went back to his own bed. He was worried what people would think about him sleeping in her room. It was a little irrational but he was all over the shop at the moment, he wanted this to be perfect and worried what would happen if Addy told them that he slept on her bed. "How long did you ask for Mom and Dad?"

"I still do." Alfie looked at his sister. "Right now, I'd love them to be here."

"Right, it's no different for Addy. It's only been a few weeks. She's going through a lot of shit and probably doesn't understand most of it. I don't remember what I was like but I do remember MiMi telling me once how I asked for them and looked for them every day for weeks."

"Dad could help me be her Dad, Mom would know how to care for her. I feel like I can't do this sometimes. I don't want to get it wrong. I don't want to fuck her up."

"You aren't getting it wrong. You are both learning together, there is no right and wrong. You have to do whatever feels right and I know you know what that is. There is going to be missteps, Addy is going to have bad days but one thing I do know that the only thing we had in those early days was love, a lot of love and support and we survived, dare I say, we thrived eventually. So I know Addy will be okay, because she has you and you have us."

"Alfie." Addy scrambled off the couch when her show finished and tugged on his arm. "We go out."

He crouched down so he was eye to eye with her "Sure. What should we do today?"

"Zoo." She jumped up and down and clapped. "We go Zoo."

He was more than happy to take her out to the Zoo again. Iris decided to stay home and let them have the day to themselves. She wanted to do some shopping before they left and they did find a store that had some winter clothes that might be enough for the trip home at least. Lola and Mae were taking care of some of that for them but she needed something to wear when she got off the plane.

"Is Bug come?"

"Not today. It's just you and me. Bug is going shopping."

Addy didn't seem to mind; she was going to the zoo and that's all she cared about and by the time they got home he struggled to wake her up. It had been a big day. Iris tried to show her all the clothes she'd bought for her but Addy didn't care, she sat on Alfie's lap and cuddled her echidna.

Addy was happy to see Liz and Alfie did worry a little how she was going to cope when she said goodbye to Liz for the last time. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes, we go swim and park and zoo."

"That sounds like fun."

"Alfie tooked me."

"I am sure Alfie loved having you. Would you like to come back again soon?"

"Yes." She smiled at Alfie and jumped excitedly. "We go see fish." He had promised her that they would go to the aquarium on the weekend. She hugged him goodbye and Iris as well and he was a little emotional when she left.

"Alfie…" Alfie helped Addy into the car and buckled her in and Liz stopped before she got in. "…try not to worry. She did great, you did great."

"I hope so."

"Well see you tomorrow." Tomorrow they were having a meeting with DCP, they wanted to see how Addy had gone staying with Alfie overnight. Alfie and Iris also had a meeting with his lawyer. Once she had spent the weekend with them they had been scheduled to go to court for the custody hearing.

_'__Night, Night Alfie.' _He got his usual video and he saved it alongside all the other's he had been sent.


	46. Calm Your Farm

His phone was going insane so he turned it off knowing full well it was going to infuriate people. Iris warned him this was going to happen. "I will deal with it when I am ready." He had told her snippily. "Just do as I ask, please."

So she did, she turned off her phone too. If they couldn't get Alfie, they'd try Iris that much they knew. He should never have told them about today. She'd sent one message to Adam letting them know they were just _'catching our breath, it's been a busy day. We'll talk to you tonight. Love you Pops.'_

Even Adam had had enough of them by the time Alfie and Iris finally called them. He had told them to shut up, they were annoying him with all their chatter about what was going on and why they hadn't heard from either of them today. They were bitching and sniping at each other and he couldn't stand it.

"Hey, how's you all going?" Iris dialled in and was the first person they saw.

"Good. Where the hell have you been all day?" Adam was grumpy. "Where's Alfred?"

"Hello to you too Pops. I miss you."

"Yes, what? Hello Iris." Adam was suitably chastised and annoyed. "Where's Alfred?" He repeated.

"He's coming. Calm your farm." Nothing annoyed Adam more than being told to calm his farm and they did it all the time.

Alfie suddenly appeared. "Sorry, Hi, how is everyone? Having a good day?"

"No." Mae was completely annoyed that they had their phones off most of the day. She grilled Colton the moment she walked through the door to see if he had heard from Iris, which he hadn't but he was pretty sure Mae didn't believe him and he was surprised that she didn't demand to check his phone.

"Alfred." Adam barked. "They are seriously pissing me off and I blame you."

"Great. I've got someone who wants to say hello." He beckoned off screen. "Addy come say hello." Alfie had deliberately kept Addy away from the daily skype calls, he didn't want to stress her out or introduce her to too many people, people she may never meet until he knew what was happening. Mae had asked to meet her but all he ever sent was the video's that he received from her every night and plenty of photos but he refused to introduce them to Addy.

She was shy all of a sudden and still clutching her echidna as she took Alfie's hand and came and stood in front to the computer, between her Daddy's legs and leant back against him as far away from the screen as she could get. Alfie whispered in her ear and she waved at the camera. "We were a bit busy today organising a few things, like a passport and the like so we can all come home."

"Oh my god." Lola squealed and Addy jumped a little and turned away from the screen and burrowed into Alfie. "You did it."

"Yes we did. We are really excited to be bringing this little bucket of sunshine home with us." Alfie helped her up into his lap. She half watched the camera and half watched Iris, she looked a little overwhelmed. "I'm really happy and Addy is a bit excited and a little bit nervous."

"Who's that Alfie?" She pointed to the screen and asked her Daddy. She had yet to call him Daddy, she knew he was her Dad because everyone kept telling her that but she still called him Alfie and he didn't mind at this stage, he just wanted her to like him and feel safe and happy. She'd been through so much lately.

"That's our family. I tell you what, I'll say their names and they will wave at you okay?"

She nodded and he started with Adam. "That's my Pops. You can call him Pops too if you like, he really likes that. He's very excited to meet you."

He then went through the rest of them, Lola, Mae, Gus and the kids. "I like babies." She whispered to him when he pointed out Billy.

"We'll see Billy soon." Iris rubbed her back as they chatted to the family and Addy didn't say anything to them but she did ask Alfie a few questions about everyone and when she will get to meet the baby.

Alfie promised to call them back once Addy was in bed. He didn't want her to hear all the questions about the custody hearing and arrangements. It was a big day for her already and there were tears when she realised that Liz wasn't coming back for her tomorrow. She had spent a couple of nights with Alfie and Iris but Liz always came back so this was new for her. They were prepared for Addy to be a little upset and she did like being with them, she talked about Alfie all the time according to Liz but it was another big change for her in a very short space of time.

Iris tried to let Alfie spend most of the time with Addy but she liked Iris too and would often chat away to her non-stop and he had found her in Iris's bedroom sitting up on the bed with her engaged in some in-depth conversation that Iris didn't really understand. He'd took them in some afternoon tea which they shared on the bed because it just looked too damn cute. "Do you want a coffee?" He asked Iris.

"Yes please."

"Me too." Addy chirped.

"You can't have coffee; you are too little. It's not for little girls."

"I like it." She insisted and Alfie and Iris both doubted her but they were starting to work her out a little. She was a pleaser, she liked to make people happy and liked to be involved in everything. Pretty much like Sam she also had a bit of FOMO going on.

"I doubt it, I don't even like it." Alfie didn't know what else to say. Iris did let her taste her coffee when Alfie bought it in.

"Yucky, yucky." She wiped her tongue in disgust and Alfie handed her a glass of water instead.

"Right, so you don't like coffee?"

"No, it's yucky."

After Alfie had read her four books and talked to her about what they were going to do tomorrow he stayed with her until she was asleep. "Will Liz come tomorrow?"

"No, we will see Liz before we go on the plane though. Should we buy her a present to say thank you for taking good care of you until Daddy could get here?" It had been decided it would be better if Liz didn't come see Addy for a few days. They had about a week before they could leave and arranged to meet Liz the day before they left so that Addy could say goodbye but up until then it was in her best interests to let her get used to being with her Dad.

"Yes." Addy seemed happy with that and snuggled down with her Echidna.

Alfie leant over and kissed her forehead. "Daddy loves you Adelaide. I'm so happy you are here with me."

"Night, night Alfie."

He had been so happy and overwhelmed at the same time when the judge decided, without much fuss that Alfie was granted full and sole custody of Adelaide Ingram Hollister. Jedda's family had tried to feebly make a claim to her but Jedda had expressly stated in her Will that Adelaide should be with her father and they were of no fixed address, where known to police for a multitude of reasons and already had three children made ward of the state under their care.

Jedda had written a statement to be read out if need be. It wasn't needed but the Judge had been made aware of it and took it into account.

Nobody in their right mind was going to let a three year old girl live with them when she had a perfectly stable and willing biological father. The argument that he had nothing to do with her for the first three years of her life didn't stack up either, he didn't know he had a daughter and they had never seen her either. As soon as he did know he was there, doing whatever he needed to do to prove that he was the best person to take care of his daughter. His promise to respect her cultural heritage and Walter's letter and offer to guide Alfie also aided him and shut down another of their arguments.

The State made no objection and he had passed all their examinations and background checks and the judge could see no reason not to hand her over to her father and made no restrictions on her being taken out of the country to live with him. The only thing Jedda had asked for was that she be taught about her indigenous heritage and about her mother and Alfie was determined to do it.

Alfie and Iris called them back, thankfully they had calmed down a little and they talked them through the day and the relief he felt. Although Adam had snatched it, they had driven him mad with the sudden explosion of ideas and planning for Addy's room. He was annoyed they'd be traipsing through his house make a noise and mess.

When the Judge swiftly told them that '_on the matter of Adelaide Ingram Hollister I grant full and sole custody to her biological father, Alfred Phillip Ruzek Hollister of Chicago, Illinois, USA. I place no restrictions on her father and custodian with regards to her place of residence, be it in Australia nor the United States of America. Mr Hollister, you are free to take care of your daughter, Adelaide. Congratulations.' _Alfie exhaled; he hadn't realised that he'd been holding his breath. They were in court for all of five minutes.

He had buried his face in his hands briefly, it was such a relief. He had no idea what he would have done had it not gone his way. He would have fought for her, he knew that much, he'd have spent his last dime and would fight tooth and nail but he was relieved it wasn't going to come to that. Iris rubbed his back and leant on his shoulder. He couldn't remember what she said but he appreciated that she was beside him. He couldn't thank her enough for every single thing she had done for him. She went into bat for him on so many occasions to ensure that his little girl came home with him.

Addy was waiting in another room during the court hearing. The judge had talked to her although it didn't have much to do with his decision, he just wanted to put a human face to this case. For a little girl who had been through a rough time it was nice to see that she was happy and had someone willing to love her. He'd seen it all before, parents whose last thought was their child, fathers who couldn't even come from the next suburb to fight for their child let alone from another country.

Alfie and Iris were keen to go and see Addy and tell her. Once all the paperwork was signed Alfie was the person that made all the decisions about his daughter and that felt like such a relief but also a little daunting. "Hi Addy." Alfie crouched down next to the table where she was happily doing some drawing. "Guess what? You get to come home with Daddy."

"And Bug?"

"And Bug too." He laughed. "I'm so happy, we get to see each other every day. How does that sound?"

"Good." She stopped what she was doing and looked up at Alfie. "I live at your house."

"Yes, that's exciting isn't it?"

"Yes." She looked at Iris. "With Bug?"

Alfie nodded. He didn't mind that Addy was attached to Iris as well. As long as she felt safe, he didn't care. "With Bug."

It had been a busy few hours, there was paperwork that needed to be collected, a passport that needed to be sourced, which they managed to get it expedited and Addy's bags needed to be sent over.

Lola and Mae had grand plans for their homecoming. "Can you just rein it in a little? She is a little nervous about the flight, leaving her home and meeting new people. I am trying to make it as easy as I can for her. She's just a scared little girl." Alfie begged them. He didn't want streamers, balloons and a herd of people at the airport.

He did agree to let them set up her room. He had asked her what colour she wanted the walls painted and she asked for yellow. It was her favourite colour but he wanted her to pick some things out herself and he had also organised that everything that she had at her Mum's place, which had already been packed away be shipped to Chicago. He was hoping that would help her settle in. She had few of her favourite things with her but it was still an enormous change for such a little girl.

"She needs a double bed." Alfie promised to send them a list of things to get for Addy including some warm clothes because she didn't have anything suitable. "Addy has always slept in a double bed. She really struggled at her foster home and thrashed about a lot and fell out a few times because she wasn't used to a small bed. Right now she is like a starfish in the middle of the bed. Can you organise that?" He was pretty sure that she'd soon have more clothes than she could possibly ever wear and the world's biggest most elaborate bedroom known to man.

"Hey Alfie, relax, we've got you." Mae reminded him when he started rattling things off. Mae already had a list and had started scouring the internet for ideas.

"So?" Iris curled her feet up under her once they had finished talking to the family. "Congratulations Daddy."

"Big day Bug." Alfie looked tired, he had bags under his eyes and she knew that he probably wasn't going to sleep much tonight either. It had been emotionally and physically exhausting and he was worried about how Addy was going to sleep. So far when she had stayed he'd been up to her several times during the night. He was learning on his feet and running on the fumes.

"I am so happy for you, so happy. I don't know how you feel but I can see how happy and relieved you are." Iris gushed. "This is so amazing Alfie, she's so amazing."

"Never in a million years did I think that this is where my life would take me. A single Dad, me Alfie Hollister, the life and soul of any party now gets to go home every day to a little girl and I am looking forward to it. Weird huh?" They had organised Addy's care, it was a requirement that they could show how he would manage her care. Aside from taking three months sabbatical from work he would then need to rely on his family to help out. Rhiannon was more than happy to have her a couple of days a week, she had cut back to two days a week recently and had plenty of time on her hands. Mae only worked four days a week and would have her one day with Poppy as company and they were deciding whether to put her in some kind of group day care for one day just so she could socialise with other children. Alfie's shifts were a little erratic so some weeks he would be able to have her and Iris could look after her when he was on at late shift or the odd occasion he had to stay overnight.

Addy was used to being cared for overnight by Tara when her mother worked nightshifts but they didn't know how she would handle all these new people. It was an enormous amount of upheaval for Adelaide; she had a new family, new house and a new country. He did think about moving into his apartment with her, if the State decided that living with his grandfather and sister and partner wasn't suitable but they were happy with his support network. It was way more than Jedda seemed to have in place from what they could tell.

"Very weird. I thought that would be me." Iris bought him back from wherever his mind had wandered off too. Alfie looked at her strangely. "Not the single parent thing, but I thought I'd procreate before you did." Iris always called it that because that's what Colton called it. It was a weird quirk of his that Iris had picked up. "Now we have all this shit going on." She pointed to her own stomach. "You know we try not to think about what might or might not happen one day."

"You know what Bug; I think it will."

"I hope so Alfie. I want to see Colton happy like you are." Alfie showed her that things don't always work out like you planned, stuff can go sideways but that didn't mean you didn't like it, embrace it and be happy.

He jumped up and grabbed something from his room. "Hey Bug, thank you." He handed her a small blue box. "From me."

"Alfie you didn't need to buy me anything." Iris squeezed his hand. "This is what we do."

"I just had no idea how to thank you for everything. I couldn't have done it without you, you've talked me down from so many ledges, you've encouraged me and not once did you look like you were disappointed in me."

"Why would I be disappointed in you?"

"She's three and I never knew she existed."

"I would have been disappointed if you weren't here right now."

"Thank you." He kissed Iris's cheek. "Thank you for helping me be a Dad to my daughter, thank you for believing in me and thank you for loving her."

It would always be something special between them. She loved that all these years later those little charms said more than words.

Iris cried when she opened the box and saw the little silver train.


	47. A Whole New World

"Big plane." Addy had her nose pressed up against the window at the airport.

Alfie was squatting behind her, he was nervous, she was nervous and only Iris had remained calm. She was just keen to get it over with, she was toey she had told Alfie that morning when he annoyed her. "I'm going to lock myself in my room with Colt. You know, we've got a kid in the house now, there are things she doesn't need to see."

He had scoffed at her and muttered something under his breath that she didn't catch.

"It is a big plane." She was fascinated watching all the coming and going of the planes in the background and the hustle and bustle of people around her. As long as she had Alfie close by she was doing well. That hadn't surprised anyone, how much she stuck by her Dad. She'd had a lot of people come and go in her life lately it was no wonder she was clingy. It was nice that she wanted Alfie a lot of the time and that she was developing a strong bond with him. He took her to bed every night, got up to her when she woke or cried during the night, he bathed her and got up every morning to make breakfast for her.

Iris was aware that it was important for Addy to trust her Dad, he was her parent and Iris offered some emotional support but also made sure she just had fun with her while Alfie did the heavy lifting and some days were harder than others, Addy still had rough times. Her whole world had changed as had Alfie's and they were learning together.

He learnt very quickly that Addy had to hear the word 'No' because he was so keen to make her happy he let her do whatever she wanted and then one day he said no to her and it was like world war three. It was an ugly three hours when Addy threw the mother of all temper tantrums.

The airline had done them a solid and given them a whole row to themselves at the bulk head so that Addy could move around and lie down. She burst into tears as the plane took off and wanted to climb into Alfie's' lap and as soon as the seatbelt sign went off that's where she spent the first two hours of the flight. Eventually she got used to it but hated landing again once they hit Hong Kong and once they got off the plane and she did not want to get back on. "Addy, I'll be right beside you. You can hold my hand and once that little light goes off we can cuddle. Okay?"

"I don't want too."

"Its' the last time."

"No." she slapped Alfie's hand.

"Addy, we have to sweetheart, that's how we get to our new home."

"I go home, I want Mummy."

Addy refused to let Alfie touch her. "I know Sweetheart, I know you do. Daddy's here with you though."

"No Mummy." She burst into tears. There had been a bit more of this over the last few days. Alfie just tried to go with it, calm her down or wait for it to pass and it usually did. It drew a few strange looks when Addy was yelling at him that she wanted her Mum and they tried not to let it upset them or react and draw attention to her outburst. He took her for a walk to calm her down and to stop people gawking.

Addy was much happier when Alfie bought her back. They had been to the shop and he had bought her a book and a colouring set which she was happy to show Iris. "Alfie buyed it." She wanted to open it right now and Iris convinced her to wait for the plane. They had a bag full of stuff for her to keep her amused, clothes, toys, food she liked and an iPad jammed with videos that Alfie never thought he'd have on his iPad. He was lamenting that they didn't buy Addy her own and would change that once they got back.

Her lip did quiver when they told her they had to board the plane again. Instead of walking herself she asked Alfie to carry her leaving Iris as the pack horse. Luckily they got to board first and got her settled into their seats but she did sit on Alfie's lap until the last minute and looked out the window at all the action on the tarmac and that distracted her for a while. Alfie was prepared for take-off and got her set up watching a video and she did better but still wanted to sit in his lap. She slept for a long stretch and played happily with Iris, walked up and down the aisle, visited the cabin staff and was chatted to random people who paid her any attention. They only had a few meltdowns, mainly when she was tired but it was a long trip for someone so little who was going through such an emotional upheaval.

Adam insisted on going to the airport and made Gus take him. It had taken a lot of convincing to keep Lola and Mae away, at least until they got home. Alfie didn't want to overwhelm Addy and even he didn't think he could face every one straight off the bat.

Addy was tired and emotional and being held up in customs and immigration didn't help. They had a few hoops to get through due to Addy being and Australian citizen and her passport being less than a week old. They had a letter from his lawyer in Australia explaining the custody arrangement and proving that Alfie did have custody of his daughter and permission to leave the country with her. There was also documentation from the US Immigration Department, she wasn't an American Citizen yet and they were unsure whether she ever would be, hopefully she could remain a dual citizen. He had to show documentation on how he was going to support her and what provisions he had made for her welfare and wellbeing. Alfie was getting frustrated because Addy was tired and he just wanted to get her home.

It was monotonous, the constant need to prove that he rightfully had custody of his own child. He understood it to some degree but Addy didn't and it made things harder to deal with, especially when she randomly asked for her mother. It raised eyebrows and he had to explain the situation which upset Addy even more. She didn't understand what was going on but refused to leave Alfie's side either.

"Mummy died, I with Alfie now." She had blurted out at one stage when a Border Agent was asking Alfie about her passport.

"Are you happy with that?" Alfie was annoyed they were asking Addy questions. She was three for fucks sake but he bit his tongue and just rubbed Addy's back gently letting her know he was right there with her.

"No, I very sad."

He had to explain that she hated flying and it made her ears hurt and that's why she was sad. It sounded lame but it was all he could say, it was the truth Addy's only issue was the plane made her ears hurt.

"Are you happy with Alfie?" Now he was really pissed but he gritted his teeth. Getting shitty with the Border Agent wasn't going to help get him through Immigration any quicker.

"Yes. I live Alfie's house now, we go zoo. We like the 'raffes and I got Ed'na." She showed the agent her Echidna and looked at her Dad and smiled. "And Bug too."

"Who is Alfie?"

"He Alfie." Addy pointed to Alfie. "He bringed me on the plane."

Iris headed out, Alfie asked her to go out and explain the hold up because Adam would be getting impatient. She spotted the crazy old coot with Gus and couldn't believe how much she missed him and almost knocked him over with her hug.

"How's Addy? Where are they? Where's Alfie?"

"They are coming Pops. They just have some Immigration stuff to deal with. It's all fine, he's just got to show the paperwork. It's all okay."

"Hurry up."

"Did you miss me?"

"What, of course I did. Colton started to annoy me, always moping around waiting for you to call."

"He loves me Pops."

"Yeah yeah. He should marry you then." Gus was just laughing, it was typical Adam these days, he was just a cranky old man, sweet, but cranky. "I'll be dead if they take much longer."

"You will not be dead in the next few minutes."

"If you fucking tell me to calm my farm Iris I will lose my shit." He warned her when Iris went to speak again.

"Here they are." Gus pointed them out. Alfie had Addy perched up on top of their bags, she was clutching her echidna and listening to Alfie talk to her. He was telling her they were going to meet her Pops and Uncle Bus and they would love her and be so happy to meet her.

"Hey Pops." Adam pulled him in for a hug, the old guy still had a grip on him as he whispered in Alfie's ear how proud he was of him. "Addy Sweetheart, say hello to Pops."

"Hi."

"Hello Adelaide." Adam waved. "I've been waiting to meet you."

"We come big plane. Alfie bringed me."

"I'm so glad he did, Bug told me you were a very brave girl."

"I cried." She looked at her Daddy and smiled. It bought a tear to Adam's eye and he didn't care. "You sad?"

"No, Darlin' I'm very happy to meet you." He wanted to hug her and smother her with love but Alfie had made it very clear that they needed to let Addy do it in her own time and that's why he asked that Lola and Mae stay away from the airport, he thought too many people would overwhelm her. They were coming over later though, he couldn't stop that tidal wave.

He introduced her to Gus before they headed to the parking lot. Alfie sat in back with her and Iris and she talked a little on the way home. The rudest shock for her so far was that it was cold and snowy out. Alfie had showed her videos of the snow and talked about how cold it was. Gus had bought her a warm coat which Lola had sent along. They had come from Summer to winter and a colder winter than she had ever endured and she was unprepared for the icy cold blast to her face.

"I cold Alfie." She didn't like it but once in the car she was looking out the window in amazement.

Lola and Mae had done a beautiful job with her room and Addy face lit up when Alfie opened the door. "Me."

There was only one yellow wall, Adam had put a stop to them painting them all in the bright yellow colour. The bed was in the centre of the room, with bright yellow and green sheets and there were pictures of animals and flowers adorning the walls and photos of her and Alfie and Iris on the shelves and drawers and also a photo of her and her mother that they had asked Alfie to send them. In the corner was a tepee with big overstuffed floor cushions and it was light and bright. They'd done a beautiful job and Addy seemed to love it.

"For you Sweetheart. Do you like it?" Running to her bed she put her echidna on her pillow. She would always put her echidna on her bed when they made her bed in the morning but it usually didn't take long for her to have it tucked under her arm or sitting close by. Alfie loved how quickly she had come to love her echidna, they all still had theirs and while his giraffe was packed away, he treasured it all the same. "Daddy's room is just right across the hall. You can come in anytime."

Sitting up on the bed was a present from Adam. "I think Pops left this for you." He handed her the present which she happily ripped open.

"Oh, a baby." She hugged it tightly. "She pretty."

"Like Addy." He touched her nose and she giggled. "Pops left a card; do you want Daddy to read it to you."

"For Addy?"

"Yes, it's says _'Dear Adelaide, Welcome to your new home, I am so happy to meet you. We are so happy you are part of our family. You are a very special little girl and we love you very much. Lots of love Pops.' _Alfie read it to her. "You will have to thank Pops for your present."

"He nice, he buyed me a baby." Alfie took a couple of photos; he knew Lola and Mae were waiting for them and couldn't wait to meet her.

Alfie held out his hand and loved the feeling of Addy's hand in his. "Shall we go say thank you?"

"I bringed my baby?"

"Of course."

Before they went back downstairs Alfie showed Adelaide where the bathroom was, where Bug's room was and where his room was. The first few nights they had her Addy would just wake up crying and Alfie would find her standing in the doorway not knowing where to go. The last couple of nights she had made her way into Alfie's room and would stand beside his bed and whisper his name quietly until he woke up. It had scared the crap out of him the first few times she did it. His heart did melt though when she came in early one morning and asked for a 'cuddle' and climbed into bed.

Addy was a little shy when she met Lola and Mae but she loved Sam and Poppy and Sam took it upon himself to show her some toys she could play with, he lugged in a big bag of toys and dropped them on the floor. Apparently he had spent half the afternoon choosing things he thought she'd like which Lola thought was very sweet of him.

Poppy just followed them around like a lost puppy and Addy also loved Billy. She loved babies and had spent half an hour talking gibberish to a baby on the plane, she wanted to cuddle Billy and Lola let her and she squealed and scared him when he smiled at her. She happily played with Sam and Poppy but she seemed wary of Lola and Mae. She was still a little shy around adults.

It was nice to hear them laughing together, especially Sam and Addy, whatever they were talking about it amused them no end and Poppy just laughed when they did. "She's so beautiful Alfie. More beautiful now she's here." Lola slid her hands around his neck from behind as they watched them.

"She is hey?"

"Sweet little girl. Momma did a good job."

"She did. I was kind of expecting…" he shrugged. "..I don't know, considering Jedda had all these issues that Addy would be a bit more messed up, you know. Everything I've seen, all the photos and people who knew them say she was a lovely dedicated Mom and Addy is so well cared for so I just don't get it."

"That's the nature of the beast isn't it?"

"I guess."

"I am so glad she is here. I can't wait to show her how much we love her."

The happy peace was never going to last long and suddenly Poppy screamed. She didn't have many words but 'No' was one of them. They could hear Sam yelling at her to stop touching his stuff. It wasn't unusual, Sam was always telling Poppy off now that she was able to get around easier and annoy him. God help them when Billy was at it too. Sam didn't like competition; he'd been King of the Castle for a while now and he didn't like sharing his crown. It would be interesting to see how he coped with Addy, although right now she was a little submissive and happy to sit back and watch what was going on.

Poppy was sitting in the middle of it all crying, Sam was annoyed and telling her what she'd done wrong and Addy was just watching them curiously. What Alfie did know was she was not around a lot of other children regularly although she did love playing with other kids. As soon as Alfie came in she looked at him and burst into tears. It appeared to overwhelm her, she was no doubt tired and the jetlag was catching up with them all and she'd had so many changes, met new people and was in a whole new space where she was yet to feel comfortable. Her only stability right now was Alfie and Iris.

She spent the rest of the afternoon on her Dad's lap and was happy when Iris fetched her echidna for her, she hugged it tightly and didn't really speak and Alfie struggled to keep her awake and eventually gave up and let her have an hour's sleep on his chest. "Look at you." Mae teased him. "Daddy."

"Sweet hey?" He rubbed circles on her back. "I get Riley and George so much better now."

"Three men and their babies."

"Just need to get Colton on the job, he'll feel left out."

"Hey…" Iris caught wind of it. "…he can continue to feel left out."

"It's making my ovaries scream?" Mae definitely was going to chat to George later on about her screaming ovaries. She saw the look on Iris's face and Mae apologised but she brushed it off. It was tough but Iris insisted that they had to do whatever they wanted to do for their own family and that she didn't want them to feel bad for them. They had each other and right now they were happy with that.

"Thank god I only have one ovary if two makes you all this crazy." She couldn't wait to see Colton though. The moment she landed she messaged him to say she was home, he sent back a very excited gif and a very sweet message about how much easier he was breathing now his Bug was back on his side of the world. It had been four very long weeks, for everyone. Being away from Colton after everything they'd been through lately had tested them but Iris realised, more than anything, Colton was where she wanted to be.

By the time Colton got home everyone else had left and Addy was playing happily by herself, the short sleep had refreshed her and she was talking on and off to Pops. Colton's sudden appearance had startled her and she shot up from where she was playing and clambered up next to her Dad. There were just far too many new people around for her liking.

"It's okay Addy, that's Colton." He waved at her; Iris had already told him to stay back a little until she was ready to talk to him. It wouldn't take her long. She had talked to Gus and Pops on the way home from the airport and by the time Lola and Mae left she was asking them when Sam and Poppy could come back and play because _'I like them'_.

"Say hello." Addy waved and muttered 'hi' and that was it. She buried her head into his chest shyly.

Iris bounded in from the kitchen and literally jumped on him. "Finally."

Addy gasped and would have crawled inside her Dad if she could. "Colton loves our Bug." Alfie reassured her.

"They get wedding?"

"One day."

"I come too?"

"Of course, Addy." Iris laughed and winked at her. "You are my favourite girl." Addy liked that. She had got a little jealous when Iris scooped up Poppy for a kiss and cuddle and then did the same for Sam. By the time she held Billy Addy was over it. _'No, me.'_ She grabbed her arm. _'Me, turn. Please.'_ She begged and Iris melted. Addy had two people in her world, her Dad and Iris. She wasn't ready to share or let anyone else in just yet.

"Would you like a cuddle now?"

"Yes." Iris flopped down beside her and Addy scrambled from her Dad's lap into Iris's and loved her cuddle. Colton barely got a look in until after Addy had gone to bed. She did warm up to him and they all had dinner together and suddenly it all fell apart for Addy and she ended up sitting on Alfie's lap and not eating much except the fries. Pops bemoaned that her grandmother was never that good at eating, Polly was a bit of a nightmare at various stages but Alfie was a trash can. He went through a stage where if it didn't have fries on it, in it or around it he wasn't interested.

She did not settle well at all; Alfie was up with her for almost two hours. "I scared Alfie."

"What scares you? Daddy is right here."

"I like my house."

"That's good to hear, we are all here, Daddy, Bug, Pops and Colt and you have Ed. Now it's time to sleep. I'm staying right here and you know where my room is. Just call my name and I'll come and we will leave the light on." There was a small lamp on her chest of drawers which had a dimmable globe and it was turned down low and there was also a night light in the hall and Alfie would leave his door open. Lola had also got him a monitor so he could hear her if she woke and he was downstairs.

"Okay." Every time he tried to leave the room she cried. It was a big house; much bigger than the small apartment she was used too so he stayed until she was well and truly asleep. Even then he ended up with her in his bed a few hours later, he'd got used to that very quickly and he loved waking up with his little starfish. For a little girl she took up a lot of room and despite the size of the bed she had to have some part of her touching him at all times, a hand, a leg, a head. He'd had her head on his pillow and her body spread out vertically across the bed and if he tried to move her she'd wiggle her way back over within minutes.

Iris was almost giddy when she went to bed. "Hurry up." She pleaded when Colton took his sweet time in the bathroom. "Didn't you miss me?"

"Nope. I talked to you every day."

"Just talk? You are happy with that?" She hadn't even bothered with clothes; she had a robe on and that was it.

"Better than nothing."

"True, but Colt, baby…" she purred, lying back on the bed as she hurried him up. "…you don't need to say a word right now."

"Not one?"

"Nope."

"Ah my little wombat…" he tossed aside his towel, grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her towards him. "I missed you. Today has been painfully long." Like they always did, it was hot and heavy to start with, that's how they worked. The long sweet deep connection came later.

They heard Addy get up, 'Alfie, Alfie…" she screamed the house down having woken and being disorientated in a strange house. She had no idea where Alfie was and she just stood in the middle of her room clutching her echidna and screamed her Daddy's name. Iris could hear him talking to her and then it went quiet and she assumed he'd taken her into his bed.

"How's he doing?"

"Great, so great. Addy adores him already. She follows him around like a lost puppy but she hasn't called him Dad yet and I think he is waiting for that; he really wants to hear it. You can say to her, take this to Daddy or tell Daddy that dinner is ready and she will go find him but she calls him Alfie all the time."

"Why do they think that is?"

"Don't really know." Iris snuggled into Colton's side. "Maybe because he was introduced to her as Alfie, I hope she calls him Daddy soon. I hope I get to see it."

Colton kissed the top of her head as it wiggled under his chin while she was getting comfortable. "I hope so too, I'm so proud of you Baby. It was a good thing that you did, going with him but fuck I missed you and don't do it again."

"Alfie…" his eyes adjusted to the light. He felt like he'd only just got to sleep, every time Addy moved he woke up. "…I hungry."

He rolled out of bed and was up making breakfast for Addy before anyone else stirred. He had to make her porridge because she didn't like 'oatmeal.' So he put it in a new bowl, called it porridge and she hoed into it. It was no wonder she was starving, she'd hardly eaten since they got on the plane.

He drank his coffee as he watched her. Life had thrown him a few curveballs; this was another big one and he loved it.

"What should we do today?" Alfie was just happy she was eating, even if it was just porridge, although she did pick at a few blueberries while he was cooking it. They were still the only ones up; it was dark outside but he could hear the shower turn on upstairs and he was tipping it was Colton. He'd be up having shower before going into work, no doubt Iris would sleep for hours yet and Pops never got up early in Winter.

"That boy come play?"

"Sam?"

Addy nodded as she shoved another mouthful of her breakfast in. "He come?"

"Not today. Maybe Poppy might come and see you." Lola was working and Sam and Billy would be with Riley's sister today. Mae promised to bring Poppy over though, he couldn't keep Mae away if he tried.

"The girl?"

"Yes, Poppy. You had fun with Poppy yesterday."

"And the baby? I like the baby."

"I know you do. He won't be coming today" Alfie filled up his coffee cup just as Colton came down and he poured him a coffee as well. "Billy likes you too, he smiled at you. Today we are going to stay home with Pops and Bug okay?"

"You stay Alfie?"

"Yes, me too."

Addy seemed happy with that news and she was excited to see 'the girl' soon.

"Good Morning." Colton touched Addy lightly on the back and she smiled shyly. "Did you sleep well?"

Addy whispered, looking at her Dad. "Bug?"

"She's still asleep. Why don't you go wake her up, I am sure she'd love a cuddle." Colton offered and she waited for her Dad who nodded, Addy loved visiting Iris in bed. Alfie helped her down off the stool and she took off up the stairs. It was almost like Colton scared her and she couldn't wait to get away from him.

"How'd she go?"

"You didn't hear her?"

"No, we did. Iris almost pushed me out if bed and to go rescue her."

"It was ugly for a bit but once she was in my bed she was fine. I guess it's a big house, she lived in a little two bedroom apartment with Jedda and we had this little apartment so this is a big change for her, along with everything else." Alfie was learning on his feet. She had also regressed a little with her toileting and he did ask Lola what he should do. Lola told him to give her time, remind her often to go to the bathroom and go with her. It might be a week or so of pain for them but Addy would get there. "She had no idea where she was."

"I hope she settles down."

"Annoying?" Alfie was tired. He probably didn't take it like it was intended and was a little harsh in his response.

"No, we just don't like hearing her upset. It really upset Iris. I think she loves Addy more than me right now."

"Iris has been a legend. I couldn't have done this without her."

"It took her mind off things which is good, I think going with you helped her as well. She showed me the train you bought her and it means the world to her, thank you for including her in all this, it's what she needed."

"How do you put up with us?"

"Just love the Bug, the rest of you comes with it." He shrugged. "Not much I can do about it, and hey, you guys are alright but don't take her away again."

Addy stood nervously beside Iris and whispered her name. "Bug." Iris didn't stir, when she slept she slept like she was dead and she was jetlagged and her and Colton had a late night last night. Addy waited a few moments before she garnered the courage to touch her face. "Bug."

"Oh god, Addy." Iris gasp, causing Addy to jump and her bottom lip quivered. "Addy, sweetheart. It's okay." Iris reached out from under the covers and grabbed Addy's hand. "You gave me a fright. Are you here for your morning cuddle?"

Addy just nodded.

Iris lifted her quilt and let Addy climb in. "You are up early?"

"Alfie make porridge."

"Oh he's such a good Daddy. I'm so happy you had breakfast." Iris knew how worried Alfie was about her lack of appetite, he would have cooked whatever her heart desired at any hour if he thought she'd eat it. Addy snuggled in close, her cold little hands were a bit of a shock against Iris's warm chest. "Did you see Colton?"

"Yes. The Man."

Addy wiggled in tighter when Colt came up and he bought Iris a cup of coffee and some warm milk for Addy. "Well this is cute. You two look warm and toasty."

"She's much more snuggly than you."

"You wound me." Colton bent down and kissed Iris goodbye. "Have fun, look after Bug today, make sure she's a good girl." He didn't touch Addy but he did say goodbye to her and Iris loved that her little hand shot out and she waved. She was getting better with Colton but it was taking time. Being overwhelmed with a lot of people, Colton was just the last on the list and she had reached her limit by then.

Alfie left them for a while, he had a shower and talked to both Lola and Mae. They'd warned him they were going to call early to see how Addy's first night at home went. He made Adam's breakfast and started making a list of all the things he had to do. He enjoyed talking to his Pops about it, it made Adam feel useful and he loved helping his grandson navigate his way through one of the biggest upheavals in his life. He'd done it before and he'd do it again.

Iris bought her down eventually. "Where have you been?" Adam ruffled her hair. While she pulled away a little from Colton she seemed to really like Pops.

"In Bug bed."

"Was it warm?"

"I very cold." She touched his hand playfully. The house wasn't cold, Adam actually liked it a touch hotter than anyone else. Iris had teased her about her cold hands and they'd had fun trying to warm them up. "I cold."

"Oh they are chilly. Pops will warm you up Darlin'." He rubbed her hands between his. "Alfie put the fire on. Addy's cold." The house had central heating and wasn't cold but they also had a gas log fire in the lounge.

"It's like a furnace in here already."

"Alfred…."

Alfie threw up his hands, it was no use arguing with him. Addy followed him when he turned the gas fire on. She had seen it last night and thought it was pretty. "Alfie…" Addy watched him. "…I cold."

"I know Darlin'. How about we get your dressed into some warm clothes, that might help?" He had no idea if she was cold or just had a bee in her bonnet about how cold it was outside, he felt under her top and she certainly felt warm enough but Addy insisted she was cold. "You wait here in front of the heater, not too close and I will get you some clothes."

"Okay." She nodded and sat down where Alfie pointed and didn't move.

He dashed upstairs and rifled through her drawers. Lola and Mae had gone a little overboard but he managed to find some leggings, a long sleeved t-shirt and tunic dress, she loved wearing dresses. "I girl" she had told him when he tried to get her into some leggings and a t-shirt and jumper for the plane and she ended up wearing leggings and a dress all the way back to the US.

Alfie took her to the toilet and then got her dressed. He loved the way should would lean on him or hold onto him while he helped her. He brushed her hair and managed to get it into a slightly off-centre ponytail. It wasn't his strong suit and Addy barely sat still for long enough for him to make it look half way decent. It was a steep learning curve they were both on, of all the things he thought he'd have to do for Addy doing her hair didn't even cross his mind.

She was happy to play with her dolls in front of the fire for a while. Iris helped her dress and undress her dolls while Adam sat and watched them. He was enamoured with Addy and desperate for her to fit in.

Part of his learning curve was the fact that Addy went through clothes like no tomorrow, she was always changing and if something got wet she had to change her whole outfit, right down to her knickers. Alfie was doing some laundry, it amused him no end when he looked at the pile of clothes he was washing. Never in a million years did he expect to be washing little pink dresses, tiny underwear with unicorns on them and little socks that inevitably would go missing. One of her quirks was that she wouldn't wear the same pyjamas to bed two nights in a row, he had no idea why but Addy was adamant and Alfie decided it was easier to let her do what she wanted rather than upsetting her.

Adam came in and told him that Addy was upstairs and "I can hear her crying."

"Why?"

"I don't know Alfred."

He took the stairs two at a time. She had been very up and down so far today; jetlag was kicking their assess and Addy was struggling the most. Iris had gone out and that had worried Addy and she had got clingy and fretted a little bit. "Bug come back?" She held her Dad's hand and looked up at him sadly when she closed the door behind her. "Please Bug come back."

"Soon, she's just gone to the shops to buy some food for us."

"Oh.." her lip and quivered and she had a habit of covering her face with her hands when she cried. It was cute and heartbreaking all at once. "I miss her."

Alfie scooped her up. "It's okay Addy, Daddy is still here and Pops. Bug will be home soon."

"Bug get cold?"

"She's got a big coat and a hat. She'll be okay." After having a cuddle for a few minutes she happily started playing with her toys again and he made sure she was okay and left her to it. She had to get used to not having someone with her all the time, it would be easy to waste a whole day just sitting with her to keep her happy but that wouldn't help her in the long run. Eventually Alfie had to return to work, Bug would be going to work and they had chores and housework to do as well.

Now Alfie found her sitting on her bedroom floor in tears. "Addy Darlin', what's happened?" He gently pulled her hands away from her tear stained face and it broke his heart.

"I loosed Ed."

"Oh Darlin' he's in Daddy's room. We left him on my bed this morning."

"Oh, I loosed him." She was distraught and Alfie's heart broke. Having come into her room she checked her bed and Ed wasn't there and she lost the plot. She didn't know what to do or where to go so she sat on her floor and cried.

He helped her up to her feet and took her into his room where they found Ed. "Here you go." Alfie handed him to Addy and she hugged him close but the tears still came. "How about we make sure he stays on your bed in the mornings so we know where he is."

"No." she turned away to protect herself and Ed. She wasn't going to let her Daddy take him away. "He mine."

"Yes he is. You can cuddle him any time you want."

They bought him back downstairs with them and as soon as Alfie sat down Addy climbed into his lap, hugged Ed tightly with one arm, held Alfie's arm with the other as he wrapped both of his around her and closed her eyes and slowly drifted off the sleep.

Adam looked at them both. "So she went looking for Ed because she was tired?"

"I guess so."

"She's figuring out what makes her feel safe. She's a smart girl that one."

"You think?"

"Alfie, I raised four orphaned, desperately heartbroken children, I learnt pretty quickly what made each of you tick."

"Was it hard?"

"Hardest fucking thing I have ever done in my whole life. The one role I never wanted, I'd done my time raising kids and that was supposed to be fun for us and it wasn't because we were so broken ourselves but we had no choice. Like you have no choice." Adam lamented, it remained his biggest burden in life, bigger than the responsibility of raising his own children. "What I did learn though, is that you needed to feel safe and loved. No matter what happened, and you had some rough days but there was always safe arms to hold you and tell you how loved you were. Tell her that, all the time, every day, every morning and every night, show her how much you love her and that she is safe with you and she will be okay."

"Thanks Pops."

"I have faith in you Alfred. I raised you, your Mom and Dad raised you so I know you've got this in you. She's lucky she has you. Of all the men in the world that could be her Dad, her mother picked the right man." Adam stood up and leant down and kissed his grandson on the top of his head. "I love you Alfred. Thank you for bringing this joy into my life." He touched the sleeping girl softly so not to wake her. Adam couldn't be happier to see his grandson and great granddaughter, he never thought he'd get the chance.

It was a sweet moment for Alfie and came at a time when he was worrying about how he could help Addy settle into her new life. He worried about getting it right for her and what that looked like when everyday things changed. She'd had a bad day so far, she'd freaked out when Iris went out, she'd cried when she couldn't find Ed, she'd appeared scared of Colton and she had had a few accidents when she couldn't remember where the bathroom was. It was rough for Addy and Alfie felt the pressure. Adam's gentle encouragement and faith in him meant the world. The old man had guided him for so long, he wasn't going to let Addy down and he certainly would never let Adam down.


	48. Getting to know you

"I stay here." Addy blew Alfie off when he asked her to come get her coat on. He'd given her fair warning about going out today.

"Not today…" they had spent four days at home while they settled in but now Alfie had things to do. "..we need to go."

"No, I stay here." Again she ignored him and continued playing with her doll. Lola and Mae had gone a little crazy making sure there were plenty of things for Addy to play with but it was the doll that Adam had demanded Mae take him to the store to buy that she loved the most. She loved stripping her clothes off and then getting Adam to dress her again, which he did so willingly. Alfie loved watching them together as they built a bond, Adam was incredible with her and Addy seemed to respond to his gentle nature. They'd been lucky to be raised by a man like Adam Ruzek.

"Addy, you can't stay here. We need to go out. We need to go buy a new car." Alfie had a truck but it wasn't suitable for carting around a child, it was just another thing that had been turned on its head. He didn't want her in the front seat so he was after a dual cab. They had gone outside briefly yesterday and Addy was completely unimpressed with the cold and snow and did not want anything to do with making a snowman. She just cried that it made her breathing hurt.

"No I stay here."

"By yourself? You can't stay by yourself."

"I stay with Pops."

"You can't stay with Pops."

"Why?"

"Because he's old."

"Why."

"Addy let's go."

Addy looked thoroughly unimpressed with him so tried something else. "It cold. It hurt me."

"That's why you have a coat and beanie and scarf." Alfie was finding it challenging learning how to negotiate with a three year old. "I have my coat and beanie too."

"I stay here." He realised they were in a battle of wills and he knew the longer it went on the more likely she would win. "My house."

"Yes, it is your house but we need to go out, so come and get your coat on please." He ended up having to go get her and it wasn't pretty. She cried all the way to the car, telling him it hurt and then sulked until he told her that they would go and see Sam once they were done and that seemed to appease her briefly. Once they got to the caryard it started all over again though. She didn't want to get out because it was cold and she wanted to see Sam now.

"I stay here."

"It's illegal. I can't let you stay in the car by yourself. You'll freeze."

"I stay here."

Alfie just sighed. He was learning very quickly about the stubbornness of a three year old so he hauled her out of the car much to her disgust and when she was howling in your ear it sounded ten times louder.

The salesman tried to talk to her but she was having none of it and Alfie had to explain that she was getting used to the cold and had never seen snow before and she wasn't loving it. He did bribe her with another stuffed animal and a cookie and the ice queen thawed a little.

"You are quite the Diva, aren't you?" He buckled her in and kissed her forehead before he tugged her beanie down low. It was ridiculous the amount of clothes she had on, she looked like the Michelin Man.

"No, I Addy."

Addy and Sam seemed to enjoy playing with each other again. She wasn't sure when Alfie was talking to Billy though as he sat on Lola's lap after a feed but she had been fascinated by watching Lola feed him until Sam dragged her away, he was far from impressed that Addy wanted to watch Billy, he found him quite boring because all his did was feed and cry today.

"How was last night?"

"Better but it's still rough, she took ages to go to sleep, she was fretting a little but when she woke up she could actually make her way into my room so she didn't wake up the whole house. She spent most of the night splayed out in my bed."

"Not the kind of warm body you are used too?"

"No, but oh so much sweeter." Alfie screwed up his nose. "That sounds wrong. It's just such a strange thing, but I love watching her sleep and listening to her sleep. I never thought this would be my life and six weeks in I am crazy about her. I just wish it was a bit different, for both of us. She shouldn't have had to lose her mother to get her father but what's done is done. Addy is here now and she's here to stay and I will work the rest out."

While Alfie was grateful that he now had Addy in his life it had certainly bought up a lot of memories for him, and not all of them were good. It had been a rough road for all of them, Alfie wasn't alone in that regard and they had all handled it differently and they still did.

Lola made the kids some morning tea. Addy still wasn't eating much; she didn't like the food and even bread was an issue for her unless it had vegemite on it. Lola had cooked them some little pikelets in the hope Addy would like them. Sam loved them and Addy ate a little bit but not as much as Alfie would've liked. He was starting to worry about that, hot chips and porridge were her only food at the moment and she would at least eat some fruit.

Lola reassured him that kids rarely starved themselves and that she would eat when she was hungry and he should just keep offering her a lot of different things until she got used to the different tastes. Lola packed up some pikelets for him to take because Addy didn't out right hate them. He'd bought some vegemite with him which helped Addy but Sam carried on like he'd been deliberately poisoned. Addy just looked bemused as he gagged on it.

Addy probably only ate because Sam was but he didn't really care as long as she ate something. "She hates the snow; I know that much."

"Poor thing, it's supposed to snow pretty hard over the next few days."

"I know, that's why I wanted to get out today, we've been home for four days, it was time to get her out. I need to drop in at work today too." He had a list of things to do and no idea how to get them all done. "I need to take her shoe shopping tomorrow as well, she needs boots and the ones you got her hurt her toes apparently." He wasn't really sure if they did or didn't because all she wanted to wear was her sandals with the 'flutterby' on them. Totally inappropriate for the dead of a Chicago winter.

"Oh good luck with that." Lola laughed, that would be fun to see and if she wasn't working tomorrow she'd tag along for shits and giggles. "Do you want to leave her here to play with Sam now?"

"No, it's okay. I don't think she'd stay anyway." Alfie did ask her though and was surprised when she said that she wanted to stay, right up until Alfie grabbed his keys and wallet and then her bottom lip quivered and she dropped what she was doing and ran at her Dad. "I go too." She held up her arms so that he could pick her up.

He ended up with Sam as well, because it was his favourite place and he talked to Addy all the way in the car about all his favourite animals and Addy told him that she loved _'Idnas, Kolalas and Kroos.'_

"It's a _Kangaroo_…" Sam corrected her, saying nothing about the Echidnas or Koalas. Lola had decided that Sam needed to learn about Australian animals before Addy arrived and had literally made him cram in the days leading up to her arrival.

He knew she'd love the Zoo and they spent all afternoon there. She was spoilt in the gift store and Alfie had to rein them in a little, Addy was going to get far too used to the VIP treatment but it seemed to make her forget about the cold and snow for a while. "Did you have fun?" Alfie asked her after they dropped Sam off at home.

"Oh yes Alfie." She was very chatty now. "I like Sam."

"You and Sam had fun today."

"Yes, he funny."

Iris had a visitor when she was upstairs getting changed after going to the gym. She was slowly getting back into exercise often her operations and it was tough going but it did make her feel better. "Bug?"

"Yes, my darling Adelaide." She always giggled when Iris called her Adelaide.

"We go zoo."

"Did you? Was it fun?"

"Yes, Daddy Alfie tooked me."

"Did he?" It was the first time she had heard her call him anything other than Alfie and she was a little shocked, she was assuming that Alfie hadn't heard it yet because he promised to let her know. It was so god damn beautiful and it bought a tear to her eye.

"Yes and that boy."

"Sam?"

"Yes Sam. He tooked Sam too."

"And what did you see at the zoo?"

"Raffes and Monkeys and Lions."

"Did you love them?"

"Monkeys said 'ooh ooh'." Iris decided she was the cutest kid she'd ever met and that was a big call because she was besotted with Sam, Poppy and Billy but Adelaide had stolen a big piece of her heart. Perhaps it was the fact that Addy was the same age as she was when she lost her parents, perhaps it was the way she came into their lives or the fact that she got to know her right from the start and helped her settle in and was sharing a house with her but Iris was crazy about her.

"They are noisy. What else did you do today?"

Addy was bouncing and clapping. "See 'raffes." She disappeared into her own room and came back with a giraffe. "I have 'raffe." It was one of the toys that she was given at the Zoo today and her bed was overflowing with animals already.

"Shall we go see Daddy?" Iris held out her hand and loved feeling Addy's little one in hers. It was small and warm and soft and she hoped that Addy knew how safe and loved she was with them.

It almost killed Iris waiting for Addy to say Daddy again. She felt guilty and if she didn't say something soon she'd have to tell Alfie and no matter how much Iris tried to get her to call him Daddy she didn't until Colt asked her over dinner what she did today. "Daddy Alfie buyed a car." They were surprised that Addy was actually eating a little bit, she was eating some crumbed chicken and carrots and corn on the cob.

"Did he?" Iris looked at Alfie and he stopped with his food halfway to his mouth.

Addy continued. "Yep and went Zoo, I play with that boy Sam." She loved to talk at the dinner table and usually did more talking than eating. "And Baby Billy, he like me."

"Wow. Big day."

"I cold." She was shaking her head and Alfie was just staring at her. Iris could see the tears in his eyes. "Daddy Alfie buyed me hat."

"What colour is your hat?" She had seen it at the zoo and loved it, pulling it off the rack she plonked it on her head and skipped around the shop with it on so he had no choice but to buy it.

"Yellow."

"Like the sun."

"Alfie weared it." She giggled.

She still hadn't called him Daddy directly but this was a start and the 'Daddy Alfie' was so cute. She had only said it a few times and then she went back to Alfie. He didn't mind, he'd heard it. He had tucked her up into bed, read her some stories and got her all snuggled down with her wheat bag, which she was obsessed with. It was part of her night time routine, they would stand and watch it heat up and she would carry it upstairs and put it in her bed, cuddle up with Ed under one arm and the giraffe under the other and surrounded by her rapidly crowing herd of animals. Leaning over and kissing her forehead he whispered "Goodnight, my beautiful little Adelaide. Daddy loves you so much."

"Daddy Alfie I toasty." He brushed her hair lightly. "Night Night Daddy Alfie." She rolled over, still clutching both of them and closed her eyes.

He didn't want to leave her now so he sat with her until she was asleep and watched her beautiful sweet little face, he knew he was tearing up and he didn't really do anything to stop it. It was amazing hearing her call him Daddy; she had certainly stolen his entire heart. Six weeks and he couldn't imagine not having her in his life, he barely remembered what life was like without her. It now seemed empty and a little aimless. He loved his life back then, but he loved this one more.

"Here's Daddy Alfie." Iris teased him when he finally came down as Colton poured him a drink. Adam always insisted on a nightcap and they often joined him. "How freakin' cute is that girl?"

"Pretty cute. She called me Daddy Alfie again upstairs. I kinda melted and may have teared up a little."

Adam sighed. "I remember the first time your Mom called me Dad, of course MiMi reminded me that it was just her babbling but I think she was just jealous that she loved me more." He rattled on. "When we went to Roman's wedding, before he went fucking nuts, your Mom was about Addy's age and we had this ding dong of a showdown over a dress." Adam always reminisced and most of the stories they had heard but every now and then he had a pearler that was new to them

"You and MiMi?"

"No, me and your mother. She wanted to wear the same dress she wore to the wedding the next day, I was hungover as all shit, Gus was only about six weeks old and she went all friggin' prissy. No thank you Daddy." Adam chuckled. "My little sweet pea, wasn't always so sweet."

"But she loved you Pops."

"Well why wouldn't she?" Adam looked genuinely put out. "MiMi on the other hand always took her side. I was always getting in trouble for making her cry."

Adam watched the bottom of his glass, his eyes were unfocused and they knew he was thinking about MiMi, "She'd love Adelaide just as much as she'd love Sam and Billy and little Poppy."

"I know Pops." Alfie patted his hand. "I wish she'd got to meet all of them."

Adam smiled sadly. "Polly too."

"Yep Mom too."

More and more Addy was calling him Daddy Alfie now and he loved it.

"Daddy Alfie. Where you going?" It had been a struggle to get her packed and into the car. She was a ditherer.

"We are going to the Beach House for a holiday."

"Oh…" Addy thought for a minute. "I swim?"

"It's too cold Darlin'."

"Oh bugger." She muttered. "Bug come?"

"Soon, I think Bug and Colt might come for the weekend." Alfie had decided to take Addy to the Beach House for a couple of weeks. He was feeling overwhelmed and sensed that Addy felt the same some days. There were a lot of people around that wanted to meet Addy and everyone was trying hard to make her feel welcome and to settle in but it got too much.

Iris and Colton were going to come up on the weekend to break it up but he was really looking forward to the two weeks with just him and Addy.

"I very excited." She clapped from the back seat.

"Me too."

"Alfie?"

"Yes Addy."

"Snow?"

"Maybe, but the house is nice and warm and we've got big coats and scarves and hats so we can still go for a walk on the beach."

"Very cold."

"It is."

"Will not be cold soon." She sighed, she was pretty much done with the cold it seemed.

"Yes one day it will be hot and we can go swimming. Maybe we can go out on Lola and Riley's boat."

"Oh…and Sam?"

"Yes and Sam…and Billy."

"Baby Billy." Addy giggled. "I like him."

"Yes you do." Every time Billy was mention she reminded everyone that she liked him.

Addy loved the house; he was lucky she fell asleep on the way because when she was awake she had a million questions or wanted to sing or play I-Spy and if she didn't sleep she was a bit crabby. "Wow." She gasped when Alfie pulled up outside the grand old house. As soon as they arrived he felt a sense of relief and he loved that it felt like his whole world, because right now that's what this was.

It was a beautiful house and he had always loved it. He loved the quietness of the place, the sound of the water, the birds, the wind and the lack of cars, trucks, trains, planes and general noise. He also loved the memories, the pictures of his family, his parents, grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins were scattered around everywhere you turned. There were so many good memories in this place and he did always feel close to his parents here. He couldn't remember much about coming here with them but he did remember being here. He now wanted to share that with Addy.

It was cold inside the house and Addy was fascinated watching her Dad light the fire, it was different from the fire at home which was a gas log heater. Alfie had to actually get wood and start it from scratch. She squatted down beside him and listened intently as he told her the rules about the fire. They had grown up with it and he had no issues with Addy being around it either and he had figured out that she wasn't a risk taker so he told her it was dangerous and she needed to be careful.

"Okay Daddy Alfie." Addy moved back a little when it roared to life. "Oh, it hot."

"It is and it will keep us nice and warm and toasty."

She loved her bedroom when Alfie took her bag in, she popped her echidna and giraffe up on her bed. "I sleep in your bed."

"Okay, sure but when we go home you need to sleep in your bed."

"Yes." He didn't believe her but he didn't really mind. She started most nights in her own bed but rarely was he still alone by morning. Some nights he didn't even feel her come in. Addy would creep in, with her echidna tucked under her arm and climb into bed without waking him. If Addy felt safer in his bed, right now she could sleep where she liked. She had even spent a night with Iris when Colton was away for the weekend with his Dad. Iris thought it was cute that she wanted to sleep with her so she was 'not lonely' but whinged the next morning about how much room she took up and she felt guilty about pushing her out of the way like she often did to Colton.

They cooked dinner together, not that Addy was much help but she knelt up at the bench and chatted away to him while he cooked her favourite chicken.

They watched a movie curled up together on the couch and Alfie carried her to bed when she fell asleep on him. He loved the weight of her when she was asleep, it calmed him. Like a weighted blanket helped calm some people so they could sleep, Addy's weight was comforting. Not long after he went to bed Addy woke and called out to him, it was a strange house and she wasn't quite sure where he was and she ended up in his bed.

"Daddy Alfie." Addy patted his face. "Wake up."

"Why?"

"I hungry." Peeling one eye open he was surprised at how light it was and how close Addy was to his face. Their noses were almost touching. The quietness, the warm bed and darker morning had made them sleep in and it was no wonder that Addy was hungry.

Reluctantly he got up and relit the fire before making them breakfast which he let Addy eat sitting on the floor in front of the fire, usually at home they always ate at the table, Adam insisted on it. They ate dinner at the table last night and Addy had been giddy when Alfie showed her how to toast marshmallows on the fire. She didn't like them but she loved cooking them.

Addy was keen to go outside once she was finished. She was kneeling up at the window watching the beach. "Is it cold?"

"I think so."

"We go out?"

Alfie rugged her up, knowing how much she hated the cold. She'd got better, the one thing Addy hated more than the cold was being inside all the time so she had made the choice to wear more clothes than you could poke a stick at and go out. Choosing her own winter clothes had helped and she looked like a bright yellow fat snow bunny when she went out.

He pulled her beanie down tight over her ears and kissed her cute little nose. "Let's go."

It was freezing outside and Addy gasped a little when the wind hit her face but she didn't want to go back in. They headed to the beach, her little hand clutching her Dad's and she loved it. She found some shells, tried to bring seaweed back to the house to 'plant it' and ran until her face was bright red.

"I puffed." She flung herself at Alfie's legs and begged for a piggy back ride back to the house.

As he helped her out of her coat and boots he rubbed her hands to warm them up. "Your hands are cold." Patting her on the backside her urged her inside to warm up by the fire. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh yes." He pulled all her shells out of his pockets and rinsed them off and placed them on a towel to dry. Addy tried to count them.

"How many did you find?"

"Twenty hundred."

He helped her count them properly and she had fourteen and Alfie promised her they would go out after lunch and find some more and they needed to go out for some more wood for the fire before dinner. "I help."

"Yes you can." It was the best thing Alfie did, coming up here was perfect for both of them.

When Alfie tucked her up into her bed, she was knackered. They had been back down the beach before dinner, it had gotten colder and didn't stay out long but Addy had loved the run around and she'd helped him carry some wood, which amounted precisely to one small twig and Alfie carried the rest. "Are you warm and toasty?"

"Yes."

"Is Ed warm?"

"Yes and Raffe too."

"Daddy loves you."

"Oh. Night Night Daddy Alfie." She could barely keep her eyes open and he sat and watched her for a while. Some days he sat and looked at her and couldn't believe that she was his. He was totally responsible for everything about her and that felt a little heavy some days. But it felt right, loving her felt right and at the moment he couldn't imagine having space for anything else in his life. Addy was his whole world and he liked the sense of peace it gave him knowing that she was part of him, in his world and they were together. He refused to dwell what would have happened if Jedda was alive, if he would have ever known about her.

He didn't even look at the clock when she came in and told him she was cold and climbed into bed. She was a like a little hot water bottle this morning as she snuggled into her Dad, despite the huge bed Addy liked to be as close to her Dad as possible. He woke up with an Echidna on his chest. "Good Morning Ed."

"Hi Daddy." Addy giggled. "Ed waked up."

"I can see. What about Addy?"

"I waked up Daddy." He was surprised, she was calling him Daddy and if he thought he loved be called Daddy Aflie, he loved Daddy even more.

"Do you want to get up?"

"No, it cold." He had to admit the house did feel a little cold this morning. There had been an icy blast last night and he doubted they would get out of the house today. He didn't mind taking her out if she was all rugged up but not if it was well below freezing.

"Okay but toilet first and then I'm going to light the fire so it warms up the house. You can stay here." She did as she was told and came back and then lasted all of five minutes before she was out of bed and standing watching him light the fire and then sat herself down in front of it and waited for breakfast. Alfie joined her in front of the fire. "What shall we do today?"

"We go out."

"It's very cold outside."

"I got clothes."

"Okay, just a quick walk though. It's freezing out Addy."

Her bottom lip quivered. "Please Daddy."

Addy had him wrapped around her little finger and more she called him Daddy the more he fell under her spell. Addy was happy and that's all he cared about. He didn't know a lot about kids and apart from the odd inexplicable meltdown she always seemed happy and knew when to seek comfort when she wanted it. Lola assured him that she thought Addy was adjusting really well.

They lasted about ten minutes until Addy looked at him. "Oh Alfie, we go back now." She was happy to spend the rest of the day inside, even refusing to help him get wood for the fire.

Addy really enjoyed having her Dad all to herself. They read, they sang, they danced and cuddled and he fell more in love with her and more in love with being a Dad. Addy had told Alfie she loved him a few times but always after he said it, she also said it to Iris and Pops when they told her that they loved her. She was just repeating what they said.

Addy was sitting on his stomach, bouncing up and down and making Alfie cringe every time her butt bounced off his gut, suddenly she leant forward, placed her hands on his cheeks and giggled. "Love, love Daddy."

"Oh Adelaide." He held her hands on his cheeks. "Daddy loves you so much."

"Yes, yes. Love Daddy." She was bouncing up and down again. She'd never said that she loved him unless she was repeating him, it was the first time she'd come out with it on her own volition.

They had a great few days but Alfie was looking forward to having some adult company, even if he talked to Adam, Iris, Mae and Lola every day, without fail. He did believe they doubted his ability to keep Addy in one piece. Addy was watching the windows once her Daddy had told her that Iris would be there soon and she would see the lights of the car when they got here. Her squeal was ear piercing. "Bug, Bug." She jumped up and down and given half the chance she would have been out the door but knew she wasn't allowed.

As they came through the door Addy flung herself at Iris. "Bug."

"My darling Adelaide." She swung her up in the air. "I missed you. Have you had fun?"

"Yes. I so happy."

Alfie helped Colton bring in their bags and some extra food that he had asked Iris to bring up for them. "How's it been?"

"Great. I am really glad I bought her up here. It's been so good just hanging out together."

"She looks happy. We've missed her, Bug's been driving me crazy."

"Bug is crazy."

"Colt." Addy demanded a hug from him next. He was surprised at how much he missed having her in the house this week. He often had Addy sitting up next to him at the table and she would draw as he worked. It had taken her a few days to really warm up to Colton but now she loved him and was always excited when he got home from work.

"I missed you my precious." Addy clung to him like a barnacle.

"We cook 'mashlallows'. You like them?"

"I do. Can you make me some?"

"After dinner." Addy wiggled her finger. Alfie had told her every day that she couldn't have marshmallows until after she had dinner, not that she ate them anyway.

While Addy was busy 'helping' Colton take the bags into his room, which involved her talking to him all the way down the hallway, Iris hung back and started unpacking the groceries. "How's it going?"

"Great Bug, it's been great. She's loving it and I think we are doing good."

"She looks so happy Alfie but we've missed you both. Pops really misses her."

As soon as dinner was done Colt and Addy toasted marshmallows and it didn't take Colt long to realise that Addy was happy to toast them as long as he ate them. He was done after about six. "What about Bug?" he pointed to Iris and she had a couple but Alfie refused. He'd had more than enough over the past week. Iris decided that they were going to try banana's stuffed with chocolate and cooked in Afoil in the fire. Addy was unimpressed with it. It took too long, and was 'gusting.'

Iris was roped in to giving her a bath and then read her a story, she was certainly making the most of having someone new around. She did give Alfie a big long hug. "Goodnight Addy. Remember one story only." He kissed her nose. "Daddy loves you."

"Love you Daddy. Night Night Daddy Alfie." Iris just looked at him and smiled. He looked so happy. This had been good for Addy obviously and that was the reason why Alfie had bought her up here but it had been good for him too.

Alfie looked forward to having a drink and someone to talk too once Addy was asleep. It was a long night when she was in bed by seven and Alfie typically didn't go to bed until well after ten. "So Daddy?" Iris took her drink from Colton and curled her feet up under herself on the couch and leant back on her boyfriend. "I think Addy adores her Daddy."

"Well I am shit hot."

"To a three year old, yes, yes you are."

"Did she go to sleep okay?"

"Yes, she's pretty whacked." They had loved it up here, Iris couldn't remember coming here with her parents bu they often watched video's of them all down at the beach house. Alfie loved to watch the one where she wailed hysterically when the tide washed away her sand castle, which in reality was a pile of sand and they both loved the one where their Dad made a car out of sand and they were all sitting in it pretending to 'drive' up the beach.

"She's hilarious. She wants to go out every day for a walk but whinges because it's cold."

"Addy is no snow bunny."

"Nope, does love a fire though."

"When did she start with just calling you Daddy?"

"Oh, just over the last couple of days. I still get Daddy Alfie, or Alfie but Daddy is creeping in more. I kinda love it" he added sheepishly. It felt like they were almost there.

Addy loved having Iris and Colt there. So much so that Alfie was surprised when he woke up the following morning completely alone which was uncommon these days. He stuck his head into Addy's room and her bed was empty as was the lounge room. There was only one other place she could be and he peeked into Iris's room and there squashed in between Iris and Colt was a very comfortable Adelaide and Ed. Iris and Colt didn't look particularly comfortable perched on the edges but he loved seeing Addy sound asleep between them.

Alfie closed the door quietly. He missed her in his bed more than he thought he would but it was always nice to see her loving and trusting the rest of the family. It eased the burden on Alfie a little. The first few weeks she had only wanted Alfie and sometimes Iris, seeing her gain confidence with other people was a good thing.

Colton was the first one up. "What time did that happen?" He pointed back towards their bedroom.

"Don't know, not long after we went to bed."

"Sorry about that."

"Don't be, Iris loved it. You know she's worried she won't have kids especially over the last week or so. I think right now having Addy in her life is helping her deal a little bit." Iris had had a few meltdowns this week, she was missing having Addy around and suddenly wondered if this was what their life was going to be like, quiet and childless.

"I'm glad. Addy's a bit of a healer isn't she? Whether she knows it or not, she is here for a reason."

"She's a gift, that's for sure."

That gift was roaring down the hallway. "Daddy." She flung herself at Alfie who scooped her up for a good morning hug. "I slept in Bug's bed."

"I saw that. Was it toasty warm?"

"It was. Colt too. They squash me." Alfie just laughed, he hoped there was no squashing going on when Addy crawled into their bed.

"Where is Bug?"

"Coming. We go beach." Addy had convinced Iris that they needed to go for a walk. She had tried to tell her it was cold but got the same response as always. She had clothes for that now.

Addy didn't want her Daddy to help her get her gear on. Colt had to do it. "Wow, this is a lot of clothes my precious." Addy loved it when Colton called her 'my precious'. He was the only one that did it though, it was their thing and Addy had even told Iris off for doing it.

He would make such a great Dad one day and Iris had loved watching him with Addy over the last few weeks. He had always been good with Sam and Poppy but living with Addy was a whole new experience for them all, he was embracing it and Colt seemed to love it as much as Addy did.

Colt tugged her beanie down and let Addy help him with his. "Are we ready?"

"Yes." She bounced towards the door. "Let's go." Addy wasn't even going to bother waiting for the others. She just wanted to go outside. Alfie assured her that they would follow them shortly once Bug was ready. Alfie stood and watched them skip off down the stairs, her little hand holding onto Colt's and the way he was looking down at her it was obvious that Addy was talking to him and Colt was giving her his undivided attention.

"Colt it very cold."

"It is, but this is fun. Do you like the beach?"

"I do. We get shells."

"How many?"

"Lots and lots."

If Addy had come a long way since she'd arrived, her relationship with Colt was probably the one that changed the most dramatically. Initially she would barely talk to him, she didn't like when he kissed Iris or cuddled her and got jealous and would try to get in between them. She didn't remember his name for days and just called him '_The Man'_

It was an afternoon doing puzzles that finally sorted out their budding friendship. Addy had gotten frustrated trying to finish a puzzle, her Dad was upstairs having a shower and Iris was cooking dinner. Colton was checking some work emails at the table and he was her only option. "Hey Man." She just couldn't remember his name; she'd met so many people lately it was overwhelming. "I can't fix it."

"Do you want some help?"

"Yes." Addy grabbed his hand. By the time Iris came out of the kitchen Addy was sitting in his lap and they were doing the puzzle for the third time. Her one ovary exploded; they were giggling together and it was beautiful.

It was only a couple of days later that she asked to go with Colton to pick up Iris from work. He was stopping at his mother's on the way and reluctant to take her but Addy begged to go. Colt's mother spent the whole time dragging Iris and reminding her son that he'd never get this because Iris was 'infertile.' He'd lost his shit at his mother and scared Addy.

Addy hadn't enjoyed the trip and the next time Colt asked her if she wanted to go with him she asked if they were going to see 'that angry lady.' Addy declined to go, the lady made Colt angry and she didn't like that.

By the time Alfie and Iris caught up with them Addy was crouching down hunting for shells while Colt held out his hands to hold them for her. Addy's face lit up when she saw her Dad. "Daddy we got lots, twenty hundred…." She looked thoughtful "…and fourteen."

They both loved having Iris and Colton stay for the weekend. She made a card for Pops, with more shells stuck to it than was reasonable. You could barely pick it up. Iris had to take back with her, and while Alfie cooked dinner and watched a football game with Colt, Iris took her for a shower.

The first time she had come into the shower with Alfie he had completely wigged out. She had just appeared. "Daddy Alfie?"

"Yes Addy." Alfie turned his back on her and looked over his shoulder. It felt odd but he knew it was completely normal. Riley and George had both talked about having the kids in the shower with him, from the moment they were born.

"I come" She was already stripping off her clothes, she managed to get her leggings off but struggled with her top. "I stuck Daddy Alfie. I stuck..." There was no way he was getting out of it so he pulled her top off over her head and held her hand as she stepped under the water.

"Well I guess we'll wash your hair." Addy was under the water as it streamed down over her face. Grabbing the shampoo he chuckled to himself at what his life had suddenly become. "Close your eyes." Addy put her hands over her eyes and squeezed them shut tightly. She might have been loving the shower but he was now freezing his ass off.

They had a few tears as the soap got in her eyes but Alfie rinsed it out and she was happy to stay unfortunately. "Why that man drewed on you." It took him a second to realise what she was talking about.

"My tattoo?" She had seen it a few times before but had never asked about it.

"It's a 'raffe."

"Yes and what else?"

"A cat, a 'noscerus and a wombat." Addy giggled, covering her mouth with her hands.

"It's a leopard, a Rhinocerous a giraffe and wombat." Alfie corrected her as they got out of the shower.

"Oh….Why they drewed on you?" He dried her off and pushed her out the door of the bathroom and across the hall to her bedroom to get her pyjamas. "Because I like it and it reminds me of Lola, Mae and Bug."

"And Addy?"

"One day." He had decided to get an echidna tattooed on his arm next to his blue heart but hadn't got around to it yet. "Maybe an Echidna?"

"No, an Addy." Alfie was not getting a tattoo of Addy, he despised them, he thought they were creepy as fuck.

"An Echidna reminds me of you, Adelaide."

Addy thought about it as she leant on Alfie's arm and he helped her into her pants. They'd come a long way from the first few days when he freaked out about taking her to the bathroom. Addy loved being nude, even when he asked her to get dressed he'd often find her playing in her bedroom stark naked and oblivious to everything. He'd even found her downstairs on more than one occasion talking to Pops without a scrap of clothing on.

"Daddy Alfie?"

"Yes my Djinda."

"Why you have hairy sausage?" That was not where he thought the conversation was going to go and he was completely unprepared. Explaining briefly that it was a penis and boys have them Addy didn't look satisfied but Iris called upstairs to say that dinner was ready. He hoped that was the last of it and was a little surprised it didn't come up at dinner. She was more interested in the drawing on her Daddy and her mind was blown when she found out that Iris had the same picture on her.

It wasn't over though and he laughed hysterically when Lola happily regaled him with Addy's day. She had spent the day with Lola, Sam and Billy while he was on a later shift.

It was a few days after his conversation with her and he thought she'd forgotten about it. No such luck. Lola thought it was hilarious. Riley was constantly freaking out about Sam's obsession with his penis. He tugged on it constantly and was fascinated by his father's appendage.

They were having a bath together with Billy and Lola was watching them. Billy was perched in between them, splashing and squealing and when she got him out Addy giggled when Billy reached for his penis. "My Daddy Alfie has a hairy sausage."

"It's a willy." Sam just refused to call it a penis at the moment. Lola had no idea where it came from, they never called it a willy. "My Dad's is hairy too."

"You a boy."

"I am." Sam stood up in the bath and showed Addy his penis. Lola knew she should probably stop them but it was hilarious to watch and they were going to talk about it at some stage, better she was there to control it than leave them to their own devices. "It's not hairy."

"Daddy Alfie is big." She made a motion with her hands and Alfie would have been impressed with Addy's interpretation of his penis. It was about 3 foot long and Lola took great delight in sharing it with Alfie as soon as he arrived.

"Great, she can be my wingman when I am trying to pick up. Who doesn't want a 3 foot penis?"

"Ummm…" Lola scoffed at him. "…just about everyone."

In days gone by it would be cannon fodder for dinner but now that Sam was older it was going to come back to bite her more often than not. And once Sam was on a roll he was like a dog with a bone.

Now he was used to having Addy in the shower with him, even if the conversation went places he never wanted them to go.

What Alfie did get was his bed warmer back. She had ended up in Iris and Colton's bed but didn't last long. Alfie peeled his eyes open as she crept into his bed. "What's up Addy?"

"Iris squash me."

"You okay?"

"I sleep here." She snuggled under the covers, cuddled Ed and was asleep again in minutes. He loved a lot of things about Addy, just about everything but one of his favourite things was that he was her centre. When she was sick, scared, tired, hungry, or sad she came back to him. When she wanted a hug, a kiss, a cuddle, a tickle or a hand to hold she came back to her Daddy. When she wanted a warm bed to sleep in, she came to him more often than not.

Addy hugged Iris and Colton like her life depended on it before they left. "Drive safe." She parroted Alfie when he said goodbye to them. Iris promised to let him know when they got home. It would always be a nervous few hours for any of them when they knew someone was driving that road.

"Well that was fun." He carried Addy back into the house. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes. Addy love Bug, Addy love Colt, Addy love Daddy."

They had another week together and Addy was sad when they headed home, she said goodbye to the house as they drove away. "But you get to see Pops and Iris and Colton."

"And Sam and Baby Billy?"

"Yep, everyone. I think they missed us."

"Ohhh….and Poppy?"

"Yes, Poppy too."

"And Mae Lola." She rattled off all the names she could remember. "Ohhh and Bus and 'nannon." She actually clapped when she finished naming everyone. She hadn't spent much time with George and Riley and rarely talked about them. "Ohhh and Charlie." She loved Charlie, he would play wrestle with her and Addy couldn't wait.

"And George and Riley."

"Yes… Oh I miss them." She sighed.


	49. Same Place as Before

It was a strange sensation. It felt like so long ago that he was out and the past six months had been a bit of a whirlwind. Addy had settled in reasonably well. A couple of months ago she started to fret and regress. She had picked up a bug and got sick, which freaked Alfie out and from that point she had gone backwards a little asking for her Mom and to go home. She reverted back to calling him Alfie for a few days until she got back on an even keel then 'Daddy Alfie' came back.

Now she had dropped the Alfie again and he was just her Daddy.

Going back to work for Alfie was another hurdle for Addy and she cried for almost all the first day. Rhiannon had the patience of a saint because she was horrid. She didn't want any cuddles, anything to eat or to talk to anyone. When Alfie came to pick her up she stuck to him like glue for the rest of the night and ended up sleeping in his bed.

They could understand why Addy reacted badly and they had tried to wean her off Alfie the last few weeks before he went back to work, he would go out for increasingly longer periods of time, leaving Addy at home but she didn't like it. Going back to work was a whole new kettle of fish though. All Addy remembered was her Mum went to work one day and never came home. Calling her didn't seem to help. She just cried and Daddy disappeared again. _'Alfie come home. I miss you Alfie.' _

The only time she talked to Rhiannon was to ask if 'Alfie.' was coming home. Life was tough and confusing for her and the days were long when you are three and had no concept of time, all they could do was reassure her, shower her with love and cuddles and hope for the best.

Rhiannon had told her that Alfie was on this way when she knew he was about two minutes away. They didn't want her waiting too long. She kneeled up at the front window watching for his car and burst into tears when she saw it. Rhiannon's heat broke when she covered her face with one hand and cried, all day she had clung to her echidna and even when she saw Alfie she didn't drop it. He scooped her up and smothered her with kisses. "Don't be sad Addy."

"I miss you."

"I missed you too, like crazy. I am so happy to see you."

When Addy saw him getting dressed for work the next morning she lost it completely and it took superhuman strength to peel her off him when he dropped her off a Rhiannon's. She was hysterical and Rhiannon had another rough day and Alfie kept apologising. He wondered if it was ever going to get better, it had too because this was ripping his heart out.

They made a deal and Addy talked to him at work during the day and being a creature of habit that she was it was what helped her cope with his absence until she started to realise that he would come home. He still called her though, every single day.

But they settled into a rhythm and Addy was doing well. She was starting Pre-Kindy after the Summer Holidays which would hopefully give her some more stability and a chance to meet other children and make friends. She had Sam and Poppy and they all got on well but Alfie wanted her to socialise more.

The Annual Charity Ball was his first big night out since he had Addy with him and she was curious about why everyone was getting all dressed up. She was having a sleep over at Lola's house, which was going to test her but so far she was excited. Alfie had promised that he would come and stay at Lola's after his 'party' so that when she woke up he'd be there. It was the first time she had a sleepover.

"Bug look so pretty." She sat up on Iris's bed and watched her get dressed. They had gone and had a mani-pedi that day and Addy had loved it. She was definitely a girly girl and loved dresses and dressing up. Rhiannon and Heidi had spoilt her rotten and Alfie always grumbled that she was taking over his walk-in closet with all her clothes but he did love how the family had embraced her, he honestly believed it helped her settle in because despite the odd bump in the road he felt she was doing really well.

"Thank you Sweetheart."

"Daddy look pretty too."

"Daddy and Colt looked handsome in their suits." It was cute watching her tell her Daddy that he was _'handstome' _before Lola and Sam came to pick her up and they were going out for dinner on the way home.

She waivered a little when Lola said it was time to go. She was torn, going with Sam was fun but she worried about missing her Dad and that he might 'forget' to come get her. "I won't forget you Darlin'." Alfie gave her a big hug. "You are going to keep my bed nice and warm for when I come home. You have fun with Sam and Billy."

"I can sleep in your bed?"

"I hope so." She seemed happy with that.

It was Mae's turn to give the speech at the Dinner, they all took it in turns and she hadn't been last year because Poppy was still a little baby. Alfie milled around, talking to benefactors, chatting with guests and thanking people for their support. He caught the eye of one woman and smiled, almost involuntarily.

"Thank you for supporting this humble little event." He saw her at the bar a little later, trying to get the attention of the bar staff and decided to have a chat.

"It's hardly humble, one of Chicago's most popular events. Or so I am told."

"From little things…they couldn't sell a hundred tickets to the first one."

"Now look at it."

"Mom would be proud."

The blond eyed him up and down and Alfie noticed it. "She's got a lot to be proud of."

Alfie offered her his hand. "Alfie Hollister."

"Nice to meet you Alfie." Her eyes twinkled and Alfie was a little bit lost. He felt out of touch, which was unlike him. Her eyes were an unusual green/grey colour and he was curious. After making him wait a few moments she added. "I'm Quinn."

"I feel like you are teasing me a little."

"No.." she laughed lightly and it was a warm like honey. "…I would never."

"First time here, Quinn?"

"Yes, my boss buys a table every year and because I am new I got a gig, I don't mind, I like getting all dressed up."

"Lucky for me." Alfie ordered her a glass of champagne but just got a water for himself. He was spacing out his drinks knowing that he had Addy at home and she was sleeping with him due to the lack of space at Lola's. Although to be fair even if Lola had a hundred beds Addy would still be in his.

The bar was busy but he always got served quickly because of who he was.

"So, this was all your Mom's idea?"

"Yeah, she wanted Abbey's suicide to mean something, she wanted to make sure she wasn't just forgotten." Suicide prevention didn't mean any more to him now because it had always been something they all had an interest in but it felt different this year. A tragic suicide changed his mother forever and another one, decades later changed his life. It bought him Addy. It was hard to reconcile that, that Jedda's death bought him something that had filled his heart with joy and he loved Addy more than he thought possible but a child was forever without her mother and he'd been there and wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially not his child.

"Well she succeeded. Is it hard?"

"Is what hard?"

"Coming here, when it's all about your Mom? You must miss her? Or don't you remember her?" Quinn didn't know a lot; she knew their parents died a long time ago because his sister had talked about it in her speech. She had no idea how old he was when it happened though. She knew nothing about him. Noticing something flit across his face Quinn apologised for asking such a personal question.

"I do, I remember a bit and I still miss them." He added quietly and then changed the subject and he wasn't the least bit subtle about it. "So, Quinn. What exactly do you do?"

"Physiotherapy."

"Oh, so you are good with your hands?" Alfie knew he was flirting with her and it was giving him a bit of a buzz, he felt himself hitting his stride again. He'd been single a long time and Addy had been a bit of a buzzkill in that regard. Not that she did anything other than appear in his life and he loved having her but at some point, as his sisters kindly pointed out, he had to get back on the horse. He was starting to get crabby. _'Probably got blue balls' _Mae grumbled one day when he was being particularly surly and stubborn about something.

"Perhaps." Her green eyes darkened slightly as they twinkled and Alfie was mesmerised by them. She wasn't overdone, there was nothing fake about her at all, her silvery grey dress was figure hugging but still classy, she was the kind of woman he liked. Naturally beautiful, though he'd had his fair share of plastic bimbos in the past. "So… you know what I do?"

"What?" Alfie clutched his chest playfully. "You didn't do your research? Everyone else here seems to know us all intimately." It never ceased to amaze them how many people 'knew' them and what they did. They weren't out there courting fame, they appeared at these dinners every year and a few things for the Foundation and Alfie often did fundraisers for animal conservation but he was pretty certain she wouldn't know him from that, he would have noticed her earlier. Sure this dinner was one of the biggest events in Chicago every year, in the charity space anyway but it wasn't in your face. They didn't go out seeking to hang out with the cool kids, they just did their thing like every other family.

"Really?"

"Well, not like that, but…" he stammered once he figured out what she was hinting at. She was also flirting with him and he liked it, he liked her confidence. "Anyway, I am shocked."

"So Alfie, what occupies your time."

"Animals."

"A vet?"

"Zoologist."

"Ah…like your Dad?"

"You did do research?"

"No, your sister mentioned it." Quinn laughed. "I'm not from Chicago, I grew up just outside Bloomington and moved here for college. This is all new to me, I didn't really know much about it when my Boss asked me to come along and then I did a bit of googling, just to find out what it was for so I know it's for teen suicide and I swear that's it."

"Even better." He tapped his hand on the bar and ordered a drink. "It's weird talking to people who think they know you better than you do. It's creepy to be honest. I don't really get the fascination."

"I do."

"Really?"

"Well I get the fascination in some ways." She blushed knowing that she was making her attraction to him way to obvious. Why wouldn't she be, he was a good-looking guy and seemed kind of sweet and he was flirting with her and the couple of glasses of champagne had done her confidence wonders. "So, what's your favourite animal?"

"Ahhh…good question, nice segue." Alfie made her wait for a moment. "I really love the big African Animals, my Dad loved them and we were always around them when we were growing up. I have a fondness for Australian wildlife too."

"Koala Bears?"

"Koala's yes, not bears. They are incredible things, cute looking but can scratch the shit out of you. I've got this scar up my arm…" he pointed to the position of it under his sleeve. "…one little lady didn't appreciate me trying to get her off a fence she was using to escape."

"Running away from you?"

"I hope not. I think she thought the gum leaves were greener on the other side of the fence. They weren't but she couldn't be told…. Because you know, she's a koala."

"Are there Koala's here?" By here she meant at the zoo they were currently standing in. Every year the ball was held at Lincoln Park Zoo, a tradition that was going to continue for many years yet they hoped. "Not bears, duly noted." She added playfully.

"No, I lived in Australia on and off. I came back about four years ago."

"Why?" Quinn apologised again for asking too many personal questions. "I mean I hear it is beautiful, why would you want to come back to Chicago and the cold."

"My family is here. My Pops is getting old, well not getting old, he is old and he bought us up and I wanted to be with him. He's still kicking around, annoying the crap out of anyone who will listen. He's great."

"You know, your eyes sparkle a little when you talk about your family."

"Don't tell them that."

"Why not?"

"They already have insanely big heads."

Alfie got dragged away soon after, unfortunately he couldn't stand and talk to one person all night, as much as he was enjoying himself. "It's been nice talking to you Quinn." He shook her hand, letting it linger a little bit. It felt warm and comforting.

"Well it made my night, so thank you."

Alfie leant over and whispered something in her ear and she just smiled and nodded. "Good night Alfie." He told her to search the hashtag for the Dinner on Instagram and she'd find him, just like his Mom and Dad had tracked each other so many years ago. _'Only if you want too, of course.'_

He tried to find her again, while he thought it was cute to tell her to search for him he was now wishing he'd got her number. What if she didn't find him, or want to find him, he had no idea how to get hold of her. It would take a bit of work to find a Quinn, the physiotherapist in Chicago, time he didn't really have right now. He was obviously out of touch; in the past he never would have walked away without a phone number and on a good day, when he was really in the groove he wouldn't have left without getting her to agree to a date. He was losing touch.

She had got to him, even as he talked to other people and probably got hit on more times than he could count he couldn't shake the blonde with the curious green eyes from his thoughts.

Addy woke up when he got home and that quickly pushed any thoughts of Quinn from his mind. "You home Daddy?"

"I am Darlin', go back to sleep." He waited as she snuggled into him and Ed and with his hand on her belly, feeling it rise and fall he wasn't awake long himself. He was kind of surprised how much he had missed her and he had called Lola from the dinner to check on her. His little girl was everything to him these days and he worried about her constantly, especially his first night away from her. God knows how he was going to do an overnighter, he had babies due soon at the Zoo and it often meant overnight stays.

Addy was up earlier than he hoped. Not only did he have Addy jumping around like a fart in a bottle, Sam soon made an appearance and was invited up onto the bed by Addy. He heard them both giggling as they went to the bathroom together. They were back in a flash and he imagined the mess they'd made. He tried to keep his eyes closed and listen to them talk about breakfast and how they'd like their eggs cooked. It was amusing, or it would've been if it wasn't before 7am.

"Sam, is your Mom awake? I can hear Billy, why don't you both go and see Billy." He was desperate to get them out of his room so he could sleep some more. Sam left and he thought Addy had as well until he heard her huffing a little.

"Daddy." Addy patted him on the face.

"Yes Adelaide."

"You make me eggs?"

"Okay. Ten minutes okay?"

"Okay."

When Alfie didn't move Addy tapped his face again, of course she had no idea of time. "Now?"

"Go and get some knickers on." He saw Addy's bare ass when she jumped up and down. She was gone and back in a flash and sat on the floor trying to get them on, backwards as usual.

Lola found him in the kitchen cooking scrambled eggs with Addy and Sam up at the bench watching him. "This will never get old."

"Nice of you to join us. You could have got up earlier you know and taken care of them."

"I was up earlier, three times." Lola was desperate for a coffee and she allowed herself one cup a day after Billy's morning feed.

"Billy being a turd?"

Addy gasped. "Daddy…that's bad."

"Yes it is Addy…" Lola agreed with her. "…just for that he has to make me eggs too."

"And how is this different from any other time?"

Lola watched Sam and Addy disappear into the lounge. "Why are Sam's pants on inside out?"

"Who knows?" Alfie shrugged. "He's a boy I guess, at least he has pants on."

Lola just laughed and disappeared upstairs, telling Sam to fix his pants on her way through when the baby monitor crackled to life and came back with Billy in time for breakfast. Riley had been on shift all night and would hopefully be home soon to take over for a few hours before he crashed and slept most of the afternoon. "So, how was last night?"

"Good, Mae did good." Alfie watch the kids shovel in the scrambled eggs, spreading half of them around the generally vicinity of where they were sitting. Sam and Addy were joined at the hip and Lola had been exhausted when they finally stopped chattering and went to bed.

"And?"

"And what?"

Lola picked up her phone and read out Iris's message. '_Ask Alfie about the blond at the bar.'_

He shrugged. "I was just being a good host, talking to people, trying to get more money out of them."

"Sure."

"You lot are like rabid animals. Why are you so keen on my love life?"

"Because you don't have one and deserve someone Alfie, I want to see you happy."

"I am happy. I have the love of my life right here at the table." He pointed to Addy.

"Me?" Addy loved any attention she got from her Dad, or any one for that matter.

"Yes, you."

"Alfie, come on. It's time to dip the toe into the pond."

"Yeah yeah. In between working fulltime, study and spending time with Addy and looking after Pops. I've got all the time in the world for dating and tell me how I would tell her that she can come back to my place but I've got a 94 year old to look after and a three year old, oh and my sister lives here too and her boyfriend and you might need to sneak out before 4am because then I get a little visitor who takes up way more of my bed than she should."

"Hmmm, good point."

"Or I could go to her place and you know bash and dash."

"Bash and Dash…you are such the romantic."

He grabbed Addy's plate just before it crashed to the floor, he had no idea how she managed to knock it off the table. "You see my dilemma?"

"So you are going to give up?"

"Perhaps, for now. It might be best."

"Pfft." Lola snorted. She was going to need to talk to Mae and Iris and sort something out. He was too nice to be left on the shelf for much longer. His dedication to Addy would be a turn on for the right woman.

It was three days before she contacted him and his heart skipped a beat, he'd almost given up. _'Thank you for the Champagne and the chat, it was fascinating.'_

_'__The pleasure was all mine, trust me. I also buy coffee?'_

_'__I'll keep that in mind. I do like a good coffee.'_ Alfie invited her to come to the zoo on the weekend as he was working and had to give a keeper talk just before lunch. Quinn left it up in the air a little, said she'd see what she could do but she had no intention of not turning up. She hadn't stopped thinking about him since Saturday night and her best friend had finally convinced her to contact him. She had showed her an Instagram photo of him and asked her what she thought.

"He's cute, very cute."

"He was and very nice and polite, I think we flirted a bit."

"What did he say?"

"That I should check out Instagram and contact him if I wanted too."

"And?"

"I have no idea what to say." Becca just rolled her eyes and told her what to say and once she got the ball rolling she left Quinn to deal with it.

Alfie spotted her as he made his way through the small crowd. He touched her back lightly, making her jump as he spoke. "Good to see you." She looked effortlessly beautiful; blue jeans rolled up at the ankles, a white shirt, a cute trilby hat and vans.

"Oh hi."

"Glad you came. I hope I don't bore you and you leave."

"I hope so too."

He didn't bore her at all. He was funny and had people eating out of the palm of his hand as he talked about the Lion's. He got people involved, especially the kids and Quinn stood back as the crowd dissipated and Alfie stayed and chatted to a few kids and their families. She enjoyed watching him interact with people.

"Right." Alfie headed towards her. "I've got an hour for lunch, how about I buy you a crappy hotdog?"

"So tempting."

"Or we can just grab a coffee?"

"Coffee would be good." She let him guide her through the crowd and he had to stop and talk to people along the way. "That was great. I learnt a lot about Lions."

"I hope so, I'd get the ass if I didn't know what I was talking about."

Alfie ordered them a coffee and then led her towards the large oak tree.

"Mae talked about an Oak tree, is this the tree?"

"It is." Mae had mentioned in her speech that they often came to the Zoo, how on all the big occasions, weddings, births and deaths they always came here to sit with their parents. "I planted it."

"You? What do you mean?"

"The first Christmas after they died I decided I wanted to buy two trees and plant them so we'd have someone to go to remember them. This one here and one in Australia." Alfie looked at the coffee cup in his hand and she got the hint that he wasn't really ready to talk about it. He also didn't want to seem like Debby downer all the time. His past was heavy, he knew that and it was a beast that he struggled to control some days.

"That's incredible, what a beautiful thing."

He asked Quinn about her job, what she loved about it and he told her about his job here and in Australia. They hour passed quicker than he wanted. "I need to get back to work, it's been really nice seeing you again."

"It has, perhaps we can catch up when you've got more time to relax?"

"I'd like that." He asked Quinn for her number but he honestly had no idea how he was going to make it work. "I'll call you soon."

Alfie walked her towards the gate. He suggested she stay and look around but she declined. "One day I will show you around properly. I won't always make you listen to my keeper talks."

"I liked it."

"You should hear the Rhino talk, it's seriously a game changer. It's my best work." She really liked how playful he was, he didn't take himself too seriously and that was nice.

Just before she left though Alfie did get serious…."I've really enjoyed today and Saturday night and I am glad you contacted me but…"

"But? You aren't going to call me again?"

"No…" Alfie saw the pissed off look on her face briefly. "…no, sorry. Yes. Yes I am going to call you." He was rattled, he hadn't really thought this through. "It's not that at all, I'd like to see you again, soon but it's a little challenging." He was talking in circles and he had no idea how to do it so he just dived in. He didn't want to give her any false hope. "I don't have a lot of spare time right now."

"Oh okay."

"Be patient, that's all I am asking. I will call you I promise. I really want to see you again." He looked at his watch again. "Look, I have to go now, I've got another talk to give. My fans are waiting."

Quinn felt deflated. She assumed she'd just go the brush off but part of her had to hang onto the hope. It was all she had right now and the sweet little kiss on the cheek he gave her left her wanting more.

Alfie kind of knew he'd fucked that up and he could kick himself. What the fuck was wrong with him?

He worried all day about how he was going to fix it, he had to try he knew that much.

_'__Time for a Lion Quiz.'_ Alfie messaged Quinn once Addy was in bed. He'd got home from work and had taken her out down the park to play and they stopped for dinner on the way home. He always wanted to spend some time with just her at the end of his working week. He was now off for three days and couldn't wait. Addy loved having spending time with her Daddy and then when they were leaving having her little hand in his made him feel like he was on top of the world.

_'__Well this should be interesting? I've had a few.'_

_'__Lion Quizzes?'_

_'__No that's a new thing, I was a meticulous student, pop quizzes gave me anxiety. Wine on the other hand.'_

_'__Nervous?'_

_'__A little, but dead keen.'_

Alfie enjoyed himself and eventually left her alone to enjoy her night out and Quinn had sent him a little sad face, she had enjoyed it as much as he had.

Quinn took the plunge and asked him to go see a band with her on the weekend. They messaged back and forth during the week and he called her a couple of times, usually when he was at work and he'd been on a late shift during the week. It was easier for him to call when he wasn't around Addy, only because when he was with her he wanted Addy to have all his time and attention. She deserved that, he had vowed to be all in with Addy and he hated leaving her to others to look after. When he was working he had no choice so when he was home Addy was his focus.

There was also that part of him that was having anxiety about revealing he had a daughter. He wasn't sure how and when he should do that. It was not something he ever thought he would be thinking about.

He knew he couldn't just say yes to going out with making plans for Addy first but he didn't want Quinn to think he wasn't keen, because he was very keen. He wanted to see her again and see where things went. So he said yes and would work out the rest later.

"Hey Alfie." His head swung around at the sound of his name. He was at the bar getting them a drink before the band started. Charlie greeted him enthusiastically, by the sounds of him he had knocked back a few already. Charlie Ruzek was a wild child; he had hit legal drinking age with a bang and was making the most of his few months of freedom before he hit the academy. "How's it going Cuz?"

"Charlie, I didn't think this would be your jam?"

"Oh it's not but I like the ladies that it brings out." Alfie added Charlies drink to his order and they chatted, or more to the point Charlie filled him in on his latest target. He was a nice guy, but he was young and stupid and his mother would have liked him to be a little less chaotic. Gus was prepared to have to do some sweet talking to keep his nose clean but what could he say? Charlie was just like his Dad and Gus would remind him that his Pops would kick his ass if he treated women like shit, his old man was very particular about that.

He didn't see Quinn until it was too late and she had walked up behind him just as Charlie asked about Addy. "How's that babe Addy? Where is she tonight?" Charlie had a strange look on his face when he saw that Quinn looked at Alfie like she was about to punch his lights out.

Quinn turned on her heel without a word. "Shit." Alfie threw his money on the bar. "Shit."

"What?"

"I hadn't told her about Addy. This is like the second time we've caught up." He didn't want her to find out about it like this, he had no idea when or how to tell her but it wasn't like this. She obviously thought he was an asshole who was cheating on someone. He had to tell her that wasn't him at all.

"Oh fuck man, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Here…" He handed him his drink. "I gotta go."

He saw her leave the bar and took off after her. She was walking up the street trying to hail a cab. "Quinn, wait up." He jogged after her.

"Don't worry about it Alfie. Go home, leave me alone." She shrugged away from him when he reached for her arm. "I guess I know why you don't have much spare time."

"Can I explain? Please?"

"What is there to explain? Why don't you go home to whoever it is you have at home?" She waved her hand wildly and he could sense that she was seriously pissed with him.

"Well hopefully she is asleep in her own bed for once, though I doubt it and my sister isn't letting her eat sugar and watch porn." He paused, waiting to see if she responded. "Adelaide is three." He just blurted it out. "I have a three year old daughter."

"Three?"

"She's three and up until a few months ago I never knew she existed."

"How can you not know?" She spluttered.

"I got a phone call six months ago from Australia, a girl I dated before I came back to Chicago committed suicide and left a three year old girl behind, my daughter. That's how I found out, from a lawyer over the phone. I went back to Australia and bought her back here with me."

"Oh God."

"She's beautiful and for the past six months she is all I thought about. Now I wanted to do something for me. I'm sorry, I didn't want you to find out like this." Alfie tentatively put his hand on her arm. They were folded across her chest like she was protecting herself from him. "It's complicated. I work full-time in an insanely busy job." Alfie was also studying part time to become a qualified Vet. "..and I live with my three year old daughter, my younger sister, her partner and my 94 year old grandfather. I'm messy."

"This is crazy."

"I know, please come back inside. It's true, I begged my sister to stay home and look after her. I don't want to waste my first night out in six months." Quinn didn't look like she was relenting. "I really want to spend some time with you, the ball wasn't enough." Alfie rambled desperately.

"I don't know, I don't feel like going back in. I'm not in a band kinda mood anymore."

"Then let's find somewhere quiet, let me buy you some dinner and I'll tell you about Addy."

"Maybe I should just go home."

"Please Quinn, please. I really want to explain it to you. I like you; I want to get to know you better." Alfie begged her. "We had a good time last weekend right?"

"We did." She nodded. "But this changes everything."

"I know it does and that's why I didn't know how to tell you because I don't want things to change. Wait…" he shook his head. "…that doesn't make sense. I want things to change, I want to get to know you, like a lot, lot more. I'm trying to work out how to do that. This is new for me; I don't know if I am doing things right or wrong and I am thinking right now I've got this wrong?"

"Not wrong, I don't know..." Quinn tilted her head back and stared at the dark night sky, looking for something. Alfie waited, his hand on her arm so she didn't forget he was there. "…Let's get something to eat."

"Great."

"No promises."

"No, no promises." Alfie grabbed her hand. "Except one…I will make you smile again. I promise you that, even if we are still sitting there at 3am." Quinn couldn't help herself, she smiled, just the faintest of smiles but he saw it. "See."

They found somewhere close by and once they were at a table with a drink Alfie told her to ask him anything. "..until dinner arrives ask away."

"I don't know what to ask? It's none of my business." And she honestly didn't, it felt intrusive.

"I'd like it to be your business. Her name is Adelaide and she's beautiful, funny, sweet and smart and very three." Alfie dived in and got the ball rolling trying to make her feel comfortable and the questions started to flow.

"Was it hard?"

"What?"

"Like, finding out like that and meeting her?"

"It was, it freaked me out completely but not once did I think I won't do this, some days I worry that I am fucking it up but the moment I knew, I had to go and get her. Iris came with me and it took almost a month, meeting her, going through the application process and the custody hearing. I was shit scared when I first met Addy but she's amazing."

"Is she okay? Like with everything she's been through."

"We still have bad days, there are still days she asks for her Mum and I can't blame Addy for that, there are still days I want my Mum. Maybe that helps us a little, you know I kinda get what Addy is going through. Iris certainly does, she doesn't remember our parents and Addy won't remember her Mum." Quinn loved the way he said 'mum', it sounded cute, it was almost like a hum but that was not what she should be focusing on right now.

"That's sad. What happened? With Addy's Mom? No, it's okay, don't worry about it." Quinn bit her bottom lip and wished she could take it back. It was always a bad habit of hers, she just asked whatever popped into her head and it had got her in plenty of hot water in the past.

"I said you could ask me anything. Addy's mum Jedda had a really rough upbringing, and I think we were both a little drawn together by that. When my grandmother died I wanted to come home and spend the rest of Pops life here with him, they bought me up and I didn't make it home in time to say goodbye to MiMi, I never got to say goodbye to my parents so I wanted to be here for Pops and show him how much he meant to me."

Quinn did like the way he talked about his grandparents, it was very sweet and earnest. He obviously cared about them a lot.

"She wasn't happy with that and told me if I left I'd never hear from her again but I had to go. I had no idea she was pregnant; she didn't tell me. I didn't know." He wanted to make that clear, he wasn't an asshole, he didn't walk out on his pregnant partner. "As harsh as this sounds, Pops meant more to me than she did, I loved him more. I don't think it's fair to ask someone to choose who to love more, that's surely the polar opposite of love. I don't know." He shrugged. "True to her word I never heard from her again." Alfie was running his hand up and down his knife as he spoke. "Anyway, Jedda took her own life. About a month before she died she changed her name by deed poll to Adelaide Hollister, up until then she'd had been Ingram, her mother's name. I got a call a week after she died, from a lawyer telling me I had a daughter. So I went and got her and I bought her home and my family is helping me raise her."

"I'm sorry."

"It is what it is." Alfie sighed, he had gotten over Jedda a long time ago, but he was still sad that she was gone from Addy's life. "Addy is here now and I am busy trying to figure out how to be a single Dad and to make up for lost time and make sure that Addy has everything she needs, she lost her Mum, I know how that feels."

"I am sure you are doing fine." Quinn touched his hand, the shock for her was wearing off and she still had these crazy feelings whenever she was around him. Alfie showed her a photo of them together. "She's gorgeous. What a precious little face. She looks so happy, you both do." He saw her slightly surprised look when she saw the photo. He was still getting used to that, that people were surprised by her colouring but he rarely chose to explain it.

"Jedda was indigenous, hence Addy's darker skin and hair."

"She looks so beautiful and happy."

"I hope she's happy, I love being with her."

"You know your face is alive too, when you talk about Addy."

"There is nothing better than coming home to that face every day. I had three months off work when she first came home, just to settle in and when I went back to work it was really rough for Addy, and me too I guess but she's good now. I was surprised at how tough it was for me and I can rationalise my feelings, she can't. My family is great and they wanted me to come out tonight because they are worried about me just spending all my time with Addy." Alfie leant forward in his chair. "But seriously you are the first person I've met that I wanted to give up a night a home with my girl for."

"That's sweet."

"I'm sorry you found out like that. That's not what I wanted."

"Alfie, it's okay. I tend to over react when I am disappointed."

"Good to know." He winked at her and sat back and relaxed a little as their dinner arrived. As he promised once dinner came they stopped talking about Addy and he started asking about her. He wanted to know her, about her family, her life and her work.

They jumped in an Uber and Alfie made it wait while he walked her to her door. "I've really enjoyed tonight, despite the rocky start. Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Yes."

Without a moment's hesitation he stepped close to Quinn, held both her cheeks in his hands, smiled sweetly and then kissed her softly, lingering long enough to let her know it wasn't just a polite goodnight kiss, it was a promise for something more. "Good night and Thank you." He pulled away just as quickly, ran his thumbs over her cheeks and turned and jumped in the Uber. If he'd stayed any longer he would have never left.

Quinn was a moment away from asking him to come up. It was once she was inside she started to let the buzz wear off and the reality of the night's revelations started to dawn on her. This was a big deal but was it a deal breaker? Who knew, but she had a serious 'girlfriend' chat to organise and the sooner the better, because the more time she spent with him the harder it would be to walk away and his message didn't help. _'one more second of that kiss and I never would have left.', _she tossed and turned all night and realised it was going to take a lot to make her say, thanks but no thanks.

Brianne and Becca could barely wait to see Quinn when she called them and asked them to meet her urgently. They knew she was going out with a new guy last night but she hadn't given them much information. "So?" they met in a small bar, grabbed some wine and waited.

"He's a nice guy, a really nice guy." Quinn gushed and then bit her lip.

"But?"

"No buts…"

"Then why are we here?"

"Well maybe one but…" Quinn had to tell it from the start, she hoped that would help her make sense of it all because having it all swirling around in his head made no sense. "You know that Dinner I went to, the charity one."

"Yes, yes." Becca waved her hand impatiently. "You've told us this."

"Well…" Quinn always ignored her when she didn't want details, just the point of the story. "You know the family that's involved with it? Their mother started it and then she was killed in a car accident with her husband when the kids were young,"

"No." Becca was lying because Quinn had talked about this.

"Anyway, I met the son, Alfie and he very sweet."

"So it's him?"

"It's him." Quinn nodded and took a sip of her wine.

"And?"

"So last night we caught up again, I had met up with him last week at the zoo where he works for a coffee and I watched him give a talk and he's funny and people love him…" She just couldn't stop herself gushing about him. "… and we had this messaging thing going all week and were going to see a band and then he bumped into his cousin at the bar and I overheard his cousin him asking about '_his babe, Addy'."_

"That bastard." Becca was quick to write him off.

"Addy is his three year old daughter."

"Wow, what? How the hell?"

"He's a single Dad."

"What do you mean?"

"Her mother passed away six months ago and he had to fly back to Australia and get custody. He didn't know about her until then."

"Fucking hell."

"Oh and the icing on the cake, he lives with his daughter, his younger sister, her partner and his 94 year old grandfather."

"Holy batshit. Full House 2.0." Brianne leaned forward. "So like sex? What's the deal with that?"

"I don't know, I have slept with him."

"Why not?"

"Well, I'm not just jumping into bed with him, that's not my style. Also like where would we do it?"

"Good question." Brianne nodded and Becca was surprisingly quiet for a few moments.

"So you see my dilemma?"

"Dump him, dump and run." Becca was always cut and dried.

"I don't want too. I mean he kissed me last night and I liked it, like really liked it."

Brianne was a little more practical but not a lot. "Don't listen to snooty boots here. Fuck him first and then you can dump him is he's a shit lay."

"I don't know why I always ask you for help. You are both useless." Quinn huffed.

"Do you think he stole her?" Becca mused.

Quinn laughed, although it was a little forced. Brianne and Becca were loving this a bit too much. They had been friends for a while now and she could always count on them to have her back, cheer her up and pick her up when she'd been knocked down. "How or why did your mind go there?"

"Don't know, the wine maybe?" Becca shrugged.

"He didn't steal her; he was awarded custody…legally."

Brianne was a little more level headed. "My opinion?"

Quinn nodded.

"You seem to really like him, give him a chance. So he has a daughter, that's no deal breaker. If he was a dead beat Dad who didn't see or care about his kids, that's a deal breaker, but he's raising her on his own, that gives him a credit." Brianne told her seriously as they flicked through his Instagram. "He is also freakin' hot, and into animals and getting dirty, what's not to like about this snack of a man and if you don't want him, step aside lady and let a real woman at him."

They stirred her when her phone rang and it was Alfie. They were still holding her phone and threatened to answer it and Quinn snatched it back. The last thing she needed was to let them loose on him. They'd send him running for the hills in an instant. They certainly voiced their disappointment when she got up and went outside to talk to him. "Sorry, that's a bit quieter." It had been hard to hear him with the noise of the bar and she didn't trust Becca and Brianne not to start yelling questions at her. "How are you?"

"I'm good. You sound like you are having fun, I can call you later."

"No, it's nice to hear from you."

"I promised I'd call; did you think I'd just given you some line?"

"No, well I hoped not anyway."

"Are you over thinking everything?"

"A little, I'm out with friends."

"And their advice?"

"You don't want to know." She laughed lightly. "I don't do things like that." The few glasses of wine had made her a little loose and he didn't mind at all.

"I wish you did." Alfie loved how happy she was sounding. He was worried that in the cold hard light of day she would think this was all too hard. "Hey, I'd love to see you again. Can I buy you breakfast tomorrow before work; I've got a later start. What time do you start?"

"I start at 11 tomorrow, I'd love breakfast."

"Great, I drop Addy off to my Aunt's by 8, so I'll pick you up just after."

Becca and Brianne planted a seed. "Cook him breakfast at home. He'll like that." Becca winked. "And you know, see what pops up….or in and out."


	50. Bash & Dash

Quinn was nervous, she almost jumped out of her skin when Alfie knocked on the door. She had already dropped one tomato on the floor as she cut it and knocked over a glass of water. It had been a long time since she'd been this nervous. He had rattled her. Resting her hand on the doorknob she took one look around to make sure it looked tidy and took a deep steadying breath and opened the door. "Good Morning." She chirped.

"Hi." His smiled made her barely in control nerves completely disintegrate. "Good Morning." He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in for a short, sweet kiss. "You ready?"

"I thought we'd eat here, I've cooked breakfast." Quinn gushed nervously. "Do you mind? Or we could go out, it's okay."

Alfie smiled at her nervousness, her being nervous was a good sign surely? "Eating here is fine."

He confidently stepped around her and into her apartment, despite his stomach doing flips; he wasn't as cool, calm and collected as he appeared. "You like bacon right, eggs oh wait you are not vegetarian are you, or vegan? The whole not eating animals because you love them right?" He thought it was amusing considering they'd had dinner two nights ago and he'd eaten a steak. The effect he was obviously having on her made him feel good about himself and made him nervous too. He could fuck this up in the blink of an eye in fact he was surprised he hadn't already.

"Quinn, relax. I eat bacon, I love bacon."

"Good." She closed the door. "Coffee?"

"I'd love a coffee, why don't I make it while you finish breakfast?"

"How's Addy?" Quinn was desperate to let him know she was okay with him having a daughter, even though she didn't know that she was okay with it. She just needed a chance to find out.

Alfie was surprised she'd asked about her so quickly. He hadn't expected to talk about her just yet. "She's good. Surprisingly not so keen on mornings today so I copped a gobful when I dragged her out of bed but we had a big day yesterday so she was tired. We went to the water park and she loved it but she hit a wall last night so that was ugly." Alfie figured out the coffee machine as Quinn finished the scrambled eggs. They moved around each other easily which felt like a good start. "How was your day yesterday?"

"Good, caught up with friends, went for a run, all the usual Sunday stuff, caught up on everything I hadn't done all week."

"Did your friends approve or is this some test they devised? Are they here?" he peered around the apartment. It was spotless but looked lived in, not that he expected anything less. "How am I doing?"

"Pretty well so far."

"You tell them about my messy life?"

"I did and they think you are cute so I should stick around a bit."

"Cute?"

"Instagram stalking."

"Ahhhh…." He followed her over the small dining table with the coffee. "…I suppose that's fair, wanted to make sure you weren't letting some crazy stalker into your home?"

"My worst nightmare."

"My little sister was stalked by a guy a while back. It was pretty full on."

"Oh my god, was she okay?"

"Yep, eventually. He ended up paying some guy to drug her in a bar with a Roofie and tried to get the cops to let him take her home. She was smart though, before she completely passed out she got to the bathroom and Colton, her partner had just messaged her so the cops called him. The fucking asshole was charged and turns out she wasn't the first. Picked on the wrong fucking family though, my uncle is a cop, my Pops was a cop. It didn't end well for him." Alfie seemed so unbothered by telling her while she was freaking out.

"That's awful."

"It was pretty bad at the time, he started hassling her through my Instagram initially, so I got dragged into it, he set up a fake Facebook account, none of us have Facebook." Quinn knew this because she had checked, he seemed to like his privacy. "She's got a good guy though; he looks after her." Alfie ate the last of his breakfast. "Bug's done it rough lately but she's like this warrior."

"Bug?"

"Iris. We call her Bug a lot, she's always has been our Bug and she loves it, even Addy calls her Bug."

"Is that why you don't have photos of Addy on your Instagram?" Quinn asked. She'd been curious to see what they were like together but there was not one photo of her, the only photo she'd seen was the one of his phone. "Because of what happened to your sister?"

"Yep that's one reason. My Dad always kept us out of the public eye, it has always been that way. His job was relatively high profile, well in the Zoo world anyway and he had this blog online that was pretty epic and he talked about us but never our names and never any photos of our faces. Addy's mother never put photos of her online either, probably in case I looked her up or something." He shrugged. "…So it just feels like the right thing to do. There are so many reasons not to do it and not one really good reason why I should, except that I am insanely in love with her and think she's amazing and the cutest little girl in the world."

"That's sweet."

"I have a million on my phone though. It's insane."

"Your life is a little crazy." Quinn crinkled her nose a little but her eyes gave her away. She liked it or more to the point, she liked him.

"Yep." He leant back, put his hands behind his head. "Makes it exciting though right?"

"Makes things interesting." She reached over and went to grab his plate and he put one hand on her wrist and she liked the spark she felt. "and challenging."

"I like a challenge." Quinn held onto his wrist and turned his arm over. "What's this mean?" She ran her fingers over the words tattooed on his forearm. They were numbers.

"That's Pops badge number." He pointed to one and then the other "And that's MiMi's."

"That's sweet." He liked that she was tracing the words with her finger.

"They were good cops, and good people. Pops adored my grandmother; he was heartbroken when she died and we were worried that he would just give up but he didn't. He wanted to meet his great grandchild; Lola was pregnant with Sam at the time. He has four great grandchildren now and he's crazy about them and they all adore him, pretty much like we do. He's such a crazy old coot."

"You love your family hey?"

"Yep."

Alfie grabbed the empty coffee cups and followed her into the kitchen, he stood close behind her and she could feel his hot breath on her neck. "So, breakfast is done and we've still got a couple of hours." Placing his two hands on the bench he trapped her against it. "Any ideas?"

"Some." She turned around and Alfie stepped even closer, their hips touching. Cocking her head to one side she ran one hand down the side of his face, brushing her thumb over his lips and he sucked on it lightly. "Don't you love a hot breakfast?"

"I do." Alfie kissed her. "How do I pay?"

"I take cash, card or..." Quinn grabbed his hips and pulled him tight against her, delighted to feel his reaction. This was unlike her; she was out of her comfort zone and didn't care one iota. "or I do love the cashless economy too."

"I didn't bring any cash..." Alfie kissed her neck, his hot breath tickling her as the words hummed and oozed through her like warm honey. "So?"

"Hmmmm…." She pushed him away suddenly and led him by the hand to her bedroom. "Come with me."

For Alfie it felt like it had been forever since he'd been here. A random thought popped into his head, a conversation with Lola a few months ago and as he laid her on the bed and hovered over her, kissing her face and neck and he stopped suddenly. "I don't want this to be a bash and dash, I want you though." Whatever this was, he didn't want it to be a once and done.

"I don't want to stop right now, do you?"

"Fuck no." Alfie kissed her hard, begging her for access to her mouth, he wanted to taste her. "But I will stop if you want me too."

"Alfie you are wasting time." She sat up and pulled her polo shirt over her head. It wasn't the sexiest bra he'd ever taken off but he certainly made short work of it. She was gorgeous, and he kissed every inch of her and let her unbutton his shirt while he just watched her and felt her hands on his chest and stomach. Feeling her warm skin on his when he pressed her down into the bed made him groan a little.

Quinn worked away at his buckle first and slid her hand inside his shorts. "Fuck." He growled against her neck. He fumbled at the waist of her pants. It was insane how quickly they'd got here and neither of them showed any signs of slowing down. "You feel so fucking good."

Tilting her head back and arching her back she opened herself up to all of him. He loved the little moan she let out as she urged him on, one hand gripped the sheets beside her while the other dug into his shoulder as she felt his strong muscles move with his whole body. It didn't last nearly as long as they wanted it to but they had worked each other into a state beforehand. "Best breakfast ever." She whispered in his ear as he nuzzled into her neck.

"I have no complaints."

"None?"

"Nope." He ran his hands over her face and kissed her sweetly. "Maybe one."

"Really."

He glanced at his watch. "This breakfast joint closes in an hour."

"Best you order now." Quinn pushed him onto his back and straddled him. Resting both hands firmly on his chest she just looked at him for a moment.

"What?"

"The things you make me do already. Alfie, I want to see you again, I really do."

His laugh was warm and made her blush. She was sitting on top of him, completely naked having just screwed him and telling him she wanted to see him again. "I hope so, otherwise this is a little awkward."

"I really do." He saw her bottom lip tremble slightly.

"Hey.." He propped himself up on his elbows. "…Quinn, I promise you that I will see you again, soon, like this, naked and sweaty, with that dreamy just been fucked look about you."

"What about Addy? She is your priority."

"So don't want to think about her right now." It was the last thing on his mind. All he could think about is how he wanted to screw her again right now. Talking about Addy wasn't going to help his situation.

"But.."

"No." He covered her mouth with his hand. "No, buts…just promise me we will try, that's all I want right now. I am here with you, that's where I am right now and I don't want to think about anything else, okay? When I am with you, I want to be with you."

After a brief pause she smiled shyly. "I can feel what you want right now I think?" She wiggled her hips, at least she knew she turned him on.

This time they made it last. "You look incredible right now." Alfie just watched her as she came back down for her high, it had been spectacular to watch and feel. "I'm gonna think about you all day."

"I'd like that."

They left it to the last possible minute to jump in the shower, have a quick freshen up and were out the door. Alfie offered to drop her off at work on the way. He leant over and kissed her goodbye. "Thanks for the bash and dash, I will call you later, okay? After Addy is in bed, so don't freak out if it's not 'til late."

"Is that what we are calling this?"

"Bash and Dash? Yes."

"Then I can't wait until the next time you bash and dash."

"Me either." He sat and watched her go, he needed a minute to process what had just happened. That was not where he thought the morning would go, he just wanted to spend time with her, have breakfast and hopefully organise a time to see her again. Now he needed to see her again…soon.

Alfie had her all turned inside out and her first few patients didn't get the best of her. "Are you alright?" One of her regular Mom's asked her. The reason Quinn really wanted this job was for the Paediatric experience, that's what she enjoyed the most, getting kids on their feet after major trauma, illness or helping those that got the rough end of the stick in life.

"What? Yes. Sorry, just had an unexpected morning. It's thrown me off a little."

"Good or Bad?"

"Good unexpected, but I'm sorry. It shouldn't distract me." She refocused and pushed Alfie from her mind. She couldn't think about him all day.

He didn't help matters when he sent her a message just after lunch. _'lunch wasn't nearly as exciting as breakfast. Matter of fact it was a huge let down. Just in case you forgot, BEST BREAKFAST EVER.'_

Waiting for him to call was like torture. Quinn went for a run, had a shower and then lay on her bed, still unmade from the morning's unexpected activities. She could still faintly smell him and when she closed her eyes she could see him and feel him. This was insane, he was under her skin and the revelation that he had a daughter didn't send her fleeing, it made her more interested which was absurd. This was going to be impossible but he asked her to at least try and she wanted that more than anything.

She was still lying on her bed when he called. "Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good."

"Worried, confused, excited, remorseful?"

"Lonely."

"Fuck, don't tell me that." Alfie groaned. "Hey if I want to bash and dash tomorrow, and I do, what time do you start?"

"Seven AM."

"Crap. What time do you finish?"

"Three."

"Can I stop in and see you on my way home? Addy will be in bed already. I don't finish until Eight."

"So an actual bash and dash?"

"No, I just want to see you. Nothing else." Alfie didn't want her to think that that was all he wanted. He wanted so much more than that. "Please? I want to see you."

"Okay."

"Okay, now tell me about your day." They quickly settled into an easy conversation about their respective days. Quinn told him how one of her parent's pulled her up on her strange behaviour early on and it was nice for Alfie to hear how much the morning had affected her. She wasn't upset by it, quite the opposite, she had loved the afterglow. "You know, this morning, you were great, I could have stayed with you all day."

Quinn was quiet, it hit her in that moment. They'd probably never get that, just a day to hang out in bed, or just together doing whatever they wanted because he would always have to be with Addy. On his days off he would want to spend time with his daughter, so where did that leave her?

"You are freaking out right now aren't you? You are worried about us making anything of this? You think it will always be a quick bash and dash?" Alfie picked up on her silence.

"A little."

"Okay, fair enough." He sounded a little annoyed and more than a little disappointed.

"Alfie, wait. It's just so new and there is all this stuff going on that I wasn't expecting."

"Quinn, can I just see you tomorrow night?" Alfie knew that he just had to see her again, kiss her again and they'd work it out. It was too good not too.

"Yes."

It was the longest day of her life. How had he done this to her already? She had a nice quiet life until he crashed into it, sure she was lonely and wanted to spend time with someone, to have someone to talk too, laugh with, kiss and have sex with and yet she met someone who may not have time for her apart from the quick 'bash and dash'. Yet he was so good at that, the sex had been breathtaking.

Quinn was surprised when she opened the door to a pot plant. "Oh…"

"Flowers die, pot plants don't, I hope." Alfie handed her the plant and kissed her cheek as he walked nonchalantly through the open door. Once she had placed it on the counter Alfie grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in tight to his body and gave her a better greeting. "Hey." It was a kiss that made her feel weak at the knees.

"How was your day?"

"Busy, I was covered in shit and giraffe piss for most of it."

"Nice." Quinn pushed herself away from him. "You do stink a little."

"Sorry, I was going to shower before I left work but I didn't want to waste a moment. I did change my clothes though."

"Do you want a shower now?"

"I guess I should, wanna you join me?"

"Go have a shower." Quinn pointed to the direction of the bathroom. Of course he knew the way, they'd been in there yesterday morning. "I'll grab us a beer? You will stay for a drink won't you."

He just nodded but before he left the room he kissed her long and slow. He hoped she picked up on his unsubtle beg, sure he'd stay for a beer but what he really wanted was for her to join him in the shower. He just didn't want to sound like a horny dick that was only here for sex.

Quinn opened her fridge and reached for two bottles of beer before closing the door without grabbing them. She headed to her bedroom, stripped off and walked into the bathroom. His head was under the shower and she watched him for a moment, admiring his strong muscular back. She appreciated that he had an impressive body and loved his tattoos and wanted to get a better look at them as they didn't really stop for any of that yesterday morning.

"Want me to wash your back?" He jumped when her heard her voice and was surprised that she was already naked. He loved her confidence. Holding out his hand he just smiled and pulled her under the warm water.

"Couldn't resist me?"

"Nope."

"That was my plan all along." He attacked her neck, his hands wandered all over and Quinn more than matched his urgency. "You've all I thought about since about lunch time, up until then I was actually good at my job and then I thought of you and it all went to shit."

"Those poor animals."

"Don't care." He kissed her hard and then looked her in the eye. "You tell me what you want and like and I will make you happy, that's all I ask." Within minutes they were out of the shower, quickly drying off as best they could and tumbling onto the bed clawing at each other.

"Can I ask about these?" she ran her hands over all his tatts once they had let their heartrate return to close to normal. She knew about the story about the tattoo on his forearm but not the rest.

"Sure." One by one he pointed them out starting with the large tattoo on his side. "This one is for my sisters, the giraffe is me, looking over them, Lola's the Leopard, Mae's the Rhino & Bug is the Wombat."

"It's cute. What a beautiful idea."

"When we were born we were all given an animal companion, like a security blanket I guess, that's what we got. The first time we left Australia Mom and Dad were given this painting of the four animals and we decided to get it tattooed on ourselves. We've all got one, exactly the same, exactly the same spot."

"Wow."

"My family, my world."

"Do you still have it?"

"What? My giraffe? Yep, I do." He laughed. "I have to hide it from Addy though, she's got a habit of collecting stuffed animals, her bedroom is like a zoo."

"Like her Daddy?"

"I guess, I tend to leave my animals at work though. You can barely see her in bed at night because of her menagerie. Ed is her favourite though, that's her companion."

He lifted his arm and she looked at the tatt on the inside of his bicep. "A blue heart?"

"My Dad let me pick out a charm for my mom for her birthday one year, for a necklace. I picked a blue heart because I loved her and I was her boy. So that's kind of for both of them because Dad took me to buy it and I gave it to Mom." He smiled sadly. "I still have that little blue heart at home. Lola picked out a snowflake because she missed the snow, Mae got a Rhino, I picked the heart and Bug was a crown because we called her Her Royal Highness. It was just after she was born. We've all got our charm, I know Mae wears hers a lot."

"That is so sweet. How old were you?"

"I was about five." He smiled sadly "I bought Bug a train to go with her crown when we were back in Australia with Addy. She came with me and she was the only one who could ever get me to calm down when I was freaking out about Addy. I took care of her when our world fell apart so we've always had that kind of bond, you know."

"You were so little."

"Didn't matter, I had to take care of her, my Dad would have wanted me too."

"A train?"

"Yep." He fell silent and Quinn realised quickly that he didn't want to talk about it right now.

"And this one?" She touched the echidna next to the heart. "What is it?"

"It's an Echidna. Ed the Echidna, it's a native Australian animal. It's for Adelaide." Alfie smiled as she traced it with her finger. It felt sensitive and seductive as she kissed it. "Bug bought her an echidna the first day we took her to the zoo. It was our first day with Addy by ourselves. She loves that thing; she's always got it with her. "

"Oh Alfie, that's beautiful." He was making her emotional; he literally wore his heart on his sleeve. He seemed a big tough guy but had a huge heart and a lot of hurt. "How is she?"

"Today? Okay, I talked to her just before she went to bed. She was happy, Colton was taking her to bed and he's her favourite this week." He was running his hand up and down her arm. "I am tipping she got four books out of him, I think that's why she likes him. He can't say no to her."

"Did they mind you coming here?"

"I didn't tell them. I just said I had something on after work and that I would be late. They don't need details just yet."

"Why?"

Alfie had felt her tense up a little. "My family, or more precisely, my sisters are crazy. They are so desperate for me to meet someone and if I get them involved all hell will break loose. It's this thing with them and I just want to get to know you without them sticking their noses in. I need to make sure you are ready for their crazy, trust me I am not hiding you…I am protecting you."

"Sounds ominous. Are they that bad?"

"No they are great, God I love them but even I can admit that they are also batshit crazy about some things and apparently right now, my love life or lack there of is driving them a little nuts. I am enjoying learning about you without their pressure."

"I think you've learnt a lot about me the past few days."

"I have and I've thoroughly enjoyed it too. I like that I know your sensitive spots, I know where to kiss you to get you all hot and bothered. I know that you are just as much into this as I am." Alfie let his hand slide under the rug they had pulled over themselves. "I know how to touch you to make you quiver."

They would have been crazy to spend the whole time in bed as good as it was. Alfie would have done so happily on any other occasion but he had to prove to her they were, or could be more than just sex. He got the feeling that's what worried her the most, that he didn't have time for her. So they shared a beer and watched TV. It was late when it finished and before he left he felt like he had to get a little bit serious. In the past he would have run a mile with a conversation about a future this early on but so much had changed for him.

"If I tell you that I can't see you again until the weekend would that stress you out?"

"No."

He didn't believe her. "Tell me the truth. Honestly Quinn I want to really try this, to build on this but to be brutally honest I am not going to give up time with Addy if you don't want to try. Yes, this is great, seeing you like this and the sex is amazing but I don't want to waste your time or mine or Addy's if all you want is sex and nothing else."

"Wow. You don't fuck around do you?"

"I don't have time to fuck around. I don't want to fuck you around either. If you want this full on, everyday epic love affair I can't promise you that…but I will promise you that with a little love and attention and patience good things can happen, that's what the plant is meant to symbolise, it will last so much longer than a bunch of flowers if we take care of it and take the time. Flowers look beautiful for a few days and then they start to wilt and the water smells, I don't want that."

"Alfie, please stop. I am nervous but I am excited. I like how you make me feel, you do make me feel special even if it's not the full-blown crazy and I've had that before and yes it's nice but here I am still single, so maybe slow and steady does win the race."

"Slow and steady?"

"One day at a time, slow and steady." Her kiss was deep and on the couch they were slow and steady. It was very satisfying, she loved the way he made her feel, she felt like fire was in her veins from the moment he entered her, he was incredibly slow and patient, waiting until she was ready, until she started to react and let him know how close she was and the moment she fell, he followed.

"I've never been out with a guy who has a child."

"Great, I've never been out with a woman since I've had a child, not knowingly anyway." His face twisted into a painful little smile; it was fleeting but she noticed it. She suspected that he struggled with the three years he didn't know about his daughter. "So we are learning together."

"Sounds good to me."


	51. Carry My Bags

Alfie finally got his sisters involved when he decided that he needed to take Quinn away for a weekend and they were more than happy to help. Iris knew he'd been seeing someone but he had kept it as quiet as possible and she'd let him. Alfie had to do it his way, she was worried if they pushed too hard he would withdraw, she knew he was worried about the affect it would have on Addy and Lola and Mae were hard to control some days. They wanted this for Alfie more than anything.

They had been good together; it was slow and steady but frustrating especially when Addy got sick and Alfie soon followed and it was almost two weeks in between seeing each other. Quinn had understood but it had bought up a lot of questions for her. He hadn't wanted her to meet Addy yet and on the one hand she fully understood his position. She had met a lot of different people in a short space of time and she still got jealous if people took too much of Alfie's time away from her. On the other hand she felt like they were stalling a little because of it.

"Pack a bag, you won't need much, something to swim in I guess but I don't plan on letting you get dressed too often."

"Where are we going?"

"Away. Just you and me, I'll pick you up Friday after work and we will be back on Sunday."

"What about Addy?"

"Just you and me, Addy's staying with Lola for the weekend." Alfie told her. "You'll love it."

"That doesn't tell me much."

"It tells you all you need to know right now."

"What if I have to leave a note, in case I don't come back?"

That had upset Alfie and she had no idea why. He snapped at her that if she didn't trust him what the fuck were they doing. Quinn had been a little surprised and he apologised immediately and explained why he reacted badly and then she felt awful. _'I shouldn't have snapped at you, I am sorry. My parents never left a note, they just didn't come back.'_

Quinn apologised and he brushed it off. He had reacted in the moment and that's how he worked; he'd react then just move on. Even when he picked her up she tried to apologise again. "Quinn, please don't worry about it. I've forgotten about it. I should never have spoken to you like that, you didn't deserve it, that's not who I am."

It had rocked him little, it still did some days, out of the blue his past crushed him but he kept forging ahead and he wanted to share something with her that meant a lot to him. He had bought people here before but he knew this one was going to go deeper into his past than he had previously, he always kept things very on the surface as a coping mechanism and a way to protect himself. This was make or break for them and suddenly he wasn't sure he was ready for that. Perhaps he was scared she'd decide to walk away and that was the last thing he wanted.

They got about half hour out of Chicago when Alfie finally told her where they were going. "My grandparents had this beach house and my Dad used to take my Mom up there all the time, it's stayed in the family. I love it and that's where we are going."

"I can't wait to see it."

"Every time I came home from Australia I'd always come up here to relax." He liked the feeling of her hand on his leg and he played with her fingers. "I've bought Addy up here and she loves it. When we first got back and I had those three months off with her I bought her up here for a couple of weeks just to relax and get to know her, it was just us most of the time and it was great." She did like how he had taken the time to really get to know and settle Addy in, it may not seem like a big thing but it showed her how much he cared and really thought about what was best for her.

Quinn saw a sign for a rest stop and asked if they could stop so she could use the bathroom but Alfie drove straight past it. "I can't stop there." He added quietly. "That was the last place they were seen alive. I can't stop, I'm sorry."

She slipped a hand behind his neck and stroked behind his ear. "It's okay." He took a deep breath and she noticed he was shaking a little. "Alfie, just breathe." Of the whole trip, every single time it was that place got to him, he loved the house and all the memories but he hated that place, he hated those people for being the last to talk to his parents even though they had moved on years ago. For Lola it was the spot where they died, Mae never came and Iris had no memories of any of it.

"It's stupid, I know. The people who were there moved on a long time ago but I've never been able to face that place."

"It's not stupid, I can't imagine how that feels."

"They sent us a letter, a long time ago when they heard about us. It was nice of them I guess, they wanted us to know how happy they were together and how much they were looking forward to seeing us again. Man, that still feels like a kick in the guts." They drove in silence for a couple of minutes while Quinn's steady hand comforted him.

"I find you fascinating." He knew that Quinn was watching him drive.

"How so?"

"So many layers, I've never met someone like you before."

"I'm an onion." He chuckled.

"I like onions, they make me cry yet I am strangely okay with it because it's worth it in the end."

"Do I make you cry? I don't want that."

"Yes you do and that's okay." Quinn assured him. "There is good crying you know. You make me good cry."

"Okay." He didn't really understand that but it was time to change the subject. "You are not going to pee in the car are you? Addy's already done that."

"No, but if it is much further you may need to pull over."

"It's about ten minutes."

"I will cross my legs." She wasn't desperate yet, but it was coming. "So Addy peed in the car?"

"And shat and spewed, all of it. I've cleaned up more bodily fluids than I ever imagined. I used to laugh at my sisters when they bitched about stuff like this so I get no sympathy from them. It's just nasty some days."

She screwed up her nose. "Sounds like it."

"I hate it when she is sick, it breaks my heart. She asked for her Mum the first few times and that was tough."

"I think she's lucky she has you."

Alfie just chuckled as Quinn leapt out of the car and barely took a second look at the house when Alfie let them in. He pointed out the where the bathroom was and stepped out of her way. When she came back she found him in the kitchen putting some groceries he bought into the fridge. "Feel better?"

"Much."

Quinn took a look around at all the photos and mementos scattered around. "This place is so cosy, it feels very homely, like a family home. If these walls could talk, there feels like so much history here and love."

"Oh, they'd be things they'd tell you that'd make you blush or run. We were pretty crazy as kids." He pulled two glasses out of the cupboard. "Are you hungry?"

"A little."

Quinn sat up at the counter and poured them a wine while Alfie started preparing their dinner. He put some pasta on to boil while the sauce was heating up and she took over when his phone rang. "Hey Darlin', how are you? Are you ready for bed?"

"Yes, I miss you Daddy." He had it on speaker and she had the cutest voice. She'd heard him talking to Addy before but this was the first time he put it on speaker and let her listen in. It was the first time she'd heard Addy's voice and that in itself felt huge.

"Hey Darlin', I miss you to the moon. Are you having fun with Sam?"

"Yes. I sleeping in Sam's bed."

"Lucky girl." Alfie screwed up his nose and Quinn laughed. "What does Sam think?"

"He like me."

"Of course he does, who doesn't?"

"You come home soon?"

"Two more sleeps Addy, remember two sleeps at Sam's house. You are going on the boat tomorrow with Lola and Riley. Have lots of fun and be a Djinda."

"And Sam and Baby Billy." Addy still called him Baby Billy, that had never changed.

"Yep. I love you Adelaide. I miss your kisses and cuddles."

"Love you Daddy."

He took it off speaker and talked to his sister, assuring her they made it safely, that he was being nice, and Lola reminded him to having fun and not to worry, Addy was having a great time. Quinn did laugh when he commented to his sister that Addy was way too young to sleep with a boy. She had no idea what his sister said but Alfie just grumbled. "Yeah, yeah. Love you to Lola Bear, look after my girl." It was his first time away from her for a whole weekend, even when he was working nights he still saw her during the day and Iris would often bring her in for dinner when he was working late.

"Well aren't you the cutest little Daddy."

"Thank you Mam." He bowed a little. "It's all part of my charm. You know this is the first place she told me she loved me and called me Daddy."

"Really? What did she call you before?"

"It started with Alfie, then I became Daddy Alfie and eventually when we were here she started calling me Daddy. Man, it sounded so damn good. Hearing her say I love you Daddy was just this heart stopping moment, I knew we'd be okay then."

"Wow. I didn't think about any of that." She just assumed that Adelaide had always called him Daddy, it didn't occur to her that it was a process of adjustment for both of them.

"Neither did I, she knew I was her Daddy but never said it. Sometimes when she gets really upset or scared I get Alfie again."

"That must be tough."

"Like a knife to my heart." Alfie carried both plates of food over to the couch while Quinn bought the wine. "Anyway, enough of that. Bon appetite."

"This is nice."

"What? Are you surprised that we've spent four hours together and not had sex yet?"

"Well yes, but the anticipation is just as exciting."

Alfie groaned. "I am rapidly losing my appetite."

"For me?"

"No, for food."

"I like it." She was right though, it was nice just to spend time together, eating, laughing, drinking and learning about each other. They sat crossed legged on the couch facing each other and ate dinner, shared a bottle of wine and Alfie made her laugh as he talked about some of the mishaps he'd had working with animals. He didn't talk about Adelaide much and when she asked him why he told he that he wanted to be more than just Addy's Dad.

"You are more than that."

"I know but sometimes I get overwhelmed by it, like suddenly everything I do, every decision I make isn't about me anymore. I used to be able to just pack up and come here or accept a speaking engagement for the Foundation or go to a party or game without having to plan it like a military operation. I spent three times as long packing for Addy to spend two nights at my sister's than I spent packing to move house. It's insane." Quinn loved this side of him as much as the funny stories he told. "I would laugh at my sisters when they arrived with all this shit; bags, toys and food for an afternoon and I thought nope I'm not doing this shit and then I took Addy out one day and she spilled her drink all over herself and she hates wet clothes, like I'm talking hates it and she took everything off and I'm standing there trying to get her dressed again and she refused because they were wet, and she refused at the top of her lungs, I swear people thought I was killing her so we are in the bathroom drying things under the hand dryer so she'd at least have something on. Never again, now it's a full three changes of clothes."

"A whole new world hey?"

"Yep, and when I bought her up here my car was packed to the rafters and now she packs her own stuff too and that's a battle. We get here and open the doors of the car and stuff just falls out it's jammed in so tight."

"You seem really happy here."

"I love it here, it's my favourite place on earth. And I love it if I am here by myself, or with a crowd. I love bringing Addy up here, she enjoys this place as much as I do. I am really looking forward to this weekend with you though."

"Me too. I feel special."

"You are special, you know that right?" Alfie looked serious all of a sudden. "Things have changed for me in ways I never expected, what it also made me realise is that I can't just go with the flow anymore, there is another little human now I have to take into consideration and I wanted to bring you here because I am starting to realise that I want you in our life. I know you haven't met Addy yet and I want you to meet her soon. I want you in my life."

"I've tried to rationalise all this, you, Addy, your life and how it works with mine. How it will all fit and what I want."

"And?"

"I can't stop thinking about you, I get giddy when your name pops up on my phone, I can't wait to see you. I love that you always ask about me, how my day is, you remember things I've told you. You are smart, sweet, funny, sexy, patient and so incredibly amazing in bed and I really want you in my life. Whatever we have to do to make that happen we can." She reached for his hand. "And I really can't wait to meet Addy."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, oh god yes. I love listening to you talk to her or about her. You are so crazy in love with her and as a woman I find that a bit of a turn on to be honest."

"Really?"

"Alfie, you are a Dad. That's never going to change, never. I didn't know you before, this is all I know. I don't know if being a Dad makes you a better person, but I really like the person you are."

"You make me feel good about being a man again, not just Addy's Dad."

Quinn ran her hands up both his thighs. "Do you feel like being a man right now?"

"I certainly do."

Alfie woke her up early with some urgent kisses and eventually dragged her out of bed for a walk along the beach and a swim before breakfast. He started talking about his parents, which Quinn had heard bits and pieces but never the story of how they met, he told her about how they had come up here when they were first dating.

"When they met up again about ten years after they split Mom was with another guy but once she saw Dad again she knew. He had come back for his new job but he was also roped into giving a talk at her Dinner, she had no idea who the speaker was going to be and she walked into a meeting and he was there. They couldn't stay away from each other. He went back to Africa for a couple of months, she broke up with her boyfriend and then when he came back this is where they came. Dad picked her up one morning, she didn't know he was back and bought her here."

"Is this were they first like….. did it?"

Alfie laughed; it was cute the way she asked. She looked a little embarrassed. "Ha, no, I don't think so. I do know that Dad was her first though, I don't think it was here."

"So it meant a lot to them, this place."

"It did." He stared out of the water.

"It's nice that they were here together at the end."

Alfie looked wistful, he wondered what they talked about, if they talked about them and how much they missed them. They had called them the night before to talk to them and he knew that Lola had sent them a message and their Dad had replied, she still had that message. He recalled nagging Lola to borrow her phone to call them to tell them something but she wouldn't let him. "I am sure their last few days were pretty sweet."

"Is that why you love it here?"

He shrugged. "I guess. I've always felt close to them here, even after all this time. Crazy huh?"

"No." Quinn watched him from the corner of her eye. He was miles away; his mind was with his parents. "What was that like?"

"What?"

"Finding out they died." Quinn always wondered if she went too far. Alfie kept telling her that he didn't mind the questions, it was part of getting to know someone. On the odd occasion that Alfie felt it was too much he always told her and changed the subject.

"I don't remember much. Pops told us. I know Lola was angry, she slapped Pops across the face. I remember that." Some things he remembered and some were stories that he had been told so many times it was like he could. "Mae stopped talking; for weeks she didn't talk, not a word and I tried desperately to look after them all. She still does that sometimes when she's really hurting. I just wanted to take care of them and I didn't know what else to do. Bug was so little and I was always protective of her. She slept in my bed for months." He was digging his toes into the sand and she could tell he was struggling a little and she regretted asking and bringing up such painful memories for him but he didn't tell her he didn't want to talk about it.

"I can imagine you being a very sweet brother."

"I was the man of the house. My Dad always told me that, he'd tell me that _'we were the men Alfie and we have to take care of our women.'_ I took that very seriously; I didn't want to let him down and I thought I had to do it all, I didn't want anyone to help me. MiMi and Pops were so great. We actually were supposed to live with Sam's sister Heidi and Hudson but we wanted to stay with MiMi and Pops so they all decided that was the best thing for us in the beginning. We never really moved."

"I love the way you look when you talk about your family."

"They are all I had." Alfie squeezed her hand. "I was going out with a girl, not long before I found about Addy and she was pissed with me because I left a date half way through dinner when Pops called to say he had a fall. He was okay but he was home alone and I couldn't leave him. I had to go."

"Why was she pissed?"

Alfie shrugged. "Guess she didn't like that I chose Pops over our date. She didn't get the family thing, I never really talked about it with her. I don't know why." He did know why, it was because she was just a bit of fun, someone to mess around with, have fun sex and the one time he had mentioned something about his parents she had just changed the subject and Alfie closed off a little after that.

"Was it a special occasion? The date?"

"No, just dinner and you know, a root."

"A root?"

"Sex, sorry, I'm speaking Australian. "He explained. "A root is, you know a screw, bonk, fuck…." He looked at her and laughed. "….a bash and dash."

"Got it."

Alfie had suddenly had enough of the trip down memory lane, he needed something to take his mind off it. "Want a root now?" He smiled and winked, tugging on her hand.

"Yes."

Alfie poured them a whiskey to share and they settled onto the couch after dinner, he had talked to Addy before she went to bed and she had told him all about the day on the boat and that Riley took them for a swim. The first time they took her out on the boat she cried all day and would not move off Alfie's lap but now she loved it. "I want to show you something." He pressed play on his phone and sent a video to the TV. "We've all got one of these."

Quinn was stunned to see a video of 'Alfred Phillip Ruzek Hollister'. Right from when his mother was pregnant with him right up until their death. Gus had organised for them each to have a movie made of all the moments, videos and photos of their life with their Mom and Dad. She looked at him quickly and he was just staring at the TV, she leant forward and was transfixed and reached for Alfie's hand. He was very quiet and the next time she looked at him he was watching her and not the screen which unnerved her a little.

It was beautiful, from the moment she saw his parents celebrating the pregnancy, although she knew that it was a horrific pregnancy for his Mom. The video of his sisters with the blue balloons shouting it's a boy, their first cuddle, lying on his Daddy's chest at night. It was beautiful. She watched his first steps, rolling over, talking, running, singing, jumping, cuddling his parents, his sisters and some breathtaking videos of him with Iris. She could see why his relationship with Iris was special, it always had been. Her favourite part though was watching him sit with his Mom when she was pregnant and he was running a train over her stomach, she asked him what he was doing and he told her he was playing with his Bug. Quinn actually gasped. It was beautiful and heart breaking all at once. "The train?" She got it, she got the train and why he didn't talk about it.

"Yep."

The final picture was of Alfie and his Dad outside shovelling snow together, he was talking to his Dad and he looked so happy. "That was the day before they left." He added quietly.

"Oh Alfie, that's beautiful, I don't know what to say." She had tears streaming down her face. "Your Mom was so beautiful, and I can see your Dad in you, you look so much like him. That's a really, really sweet thing to have. How do you watch it?"

"I don't."

Quinn swung around quickly to face him, he had tears in his eyes and that shocked her. "What do you mean?"

"I don't watch it. That's only the second time I've watched it."

She grabbed his face and kissed those tear-filled eyes as they fluttered closed, there was so much pain on his face it took her breath away. "You beautiful precious man."

"It hurts, it's always hurt." He leant his forehead on Quinn's and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I've been angry, sad, jealous and sometimes I hate myself."

"Why?"

"Because I've hated them. I hated them for leaving me." It was very raw and she could now feel his pain as well as see it. "And now with Addy, it's all come back, all those feelings. I hate her mother some days because I didn't know about her for so long, her whole life and if something happens to me now she's got nothing. I've got that…" he pointed to the TV. "…that video, I've got more than seven years. Bug doesn't have that, she doesn't remember anything and if something happens to me Addy will have nothing."

"So Alfie, make those memories for her. Capture every moment, live every moment with her and love your little girl."

"Will you help me?"

"I think you are the Dad Addy deserves, you've got the chance to be the Dad you always wanted to have."

"I did have a Dad, for seven years."

"I know you did and I didn't know him but I think he's a big part of you and your Pops helped you be the man your Dad wanted you to be and now you can show everyone that you are that man, that Dad, for Addy."

It was an intense few hours, Alfie had been very open and honest. She had learnt a lot about him and how he ticked. He had always felt things keenly and been protective of his sisters. He felt like this with Addy now and it had taken him six months to leave her and start to think about himself. It was a big deal and it made her realise how much he was trying to make this work between them. He wasn't going to let people into Addy's life if he didn't think they had more than a fling going on. If he was willing to put his heart on the line for her right now she wanted to give him the same. "I've never met anyone like you. I didn't think men like you existed. I'm glad I met you and every minute I spend with you makes me look forward to the next minute and the next."

"You are so sweet." Alfie was surprised when Quinn stood up and indicated he should sit forward a bit. She slid in behind him and let him lie against her. They were quiet for a while; Alfie was enjoying the feeling of comfort he was getting from Quinn's hands in his hair as she cradled his head to her chest.

He was emotional, he was hurting and he wanted her to see all that and he'd never felt like that before, he had never shared so much with someone. Quinn saw a new side to him, not just the fun, sexy side but a passionate, emotional man who had dealt with more heartache than most. He had demons and for once he wanted to share it, to ease his burden. She wanted to help him because she was falling in love with him. That realisation didn't scare her, it was a beautifully intense moment and she closed her eyes and let it wash over her.


	52. My Women

"Adelaide." Alfie stood at the bottom of the stairs and called her again. "Come on."

"I coming Daddy." She appeared at the top of her stairs with her echidna tucked under one arm, Alfie's giraffe under the other, Daffodil clasped in her hands and her backpack on upside down. She took one step and dropped the lot and more crap fell out of her bag than he thought humanly possible. "Bugger."

"Adelaide." Alfie sighed as he went to help her. "What did you pack?" He knew he should try to stop her saying 'bugger', she did it a fair bit but it was so damn cute he didn't have the heart to say anything.

"Stuff."

"My giraffe can stay here."

"No Daddy, he come too." Addy had adopted his giraffe two weeks ago when he went away with Quinn. Her own giraffe had been neglected in favour of her Dad's old tatty one and it now sat on her bed with Ed every day, among her menagerie. She took it to Lola's house to cuddle so she didn't miss him too much and he had taken it back and now she had it again. Alfie had tried to explain how precious it was to him but Addy just hugged it closer and told him how much she loved it and loved him. She was good at the emotional blackmail stuff.

After the weekend he'd deal with it and put it away where she couldn't find it. He didn't want it damaged; it was fragile and meant so much to him. He also didn't want to upset Addy before she met Quinn so he let her keep it for now. "Okay, he can come but when we get home he goes away."

"I like him."

"I know, so do I. He's Daddy's giraffe and you can cuddle me instead. Deal?"

"Okay." Addy gripped the giraffe even tighter.

"Righto." Alfie had serious doubts it was all going to be that easy but they were running late. "Are you ready?" He patted her on the butt to get her moving.

"Yes."

Before she got in the car Addy went and found Pops. She refused to leave the house without saying goodbye, even if they were only going to the shops. "Bye Pops." She hugged him tightly. "I miss you Pops."

"Bye Darlin'." They had taken to each other like a duck to water. Alfie often found her curled up on Pops lap, both of them sound asleep. He loved it and he was glad that Pops had the chance to meet and get to know his daughter. "Be good for your Daddy."

"I try very hard."

Addy was happy to be going to the Beach House, she didn't seem to even remember that Quinn was coming too. She didn't care, she just wanted to go. Quinn was excited though, she couldn't wait to meet her. Alfie had explained to Addy that they were picking up Quinn but he wasn't sure she got it.

Pulling up outside Quinn's place he helped Addy out of the car. "We go house Daddy?"

"Soon, remember Quinn is coming with us." He held her hand as they walked up the stairs. "She's Daddy's girlfriend."

"I girlfriend."

"You are my best friend; my favourite little girl and I love you to the moon." She squirmed a little and giggled when he tickled her cheek before knocking on the door.

Quinn was nervous, she felt like it was make or break for them. She had to win Addy over and Alfie assured her it wasn't hard, she just had to take a step back and let Addy warm up to her. If people overwhelmed her she would pull away. Addy was pretty perceptive though and she knew when she liked and trusted people and when she didn't.

They were only going Saturday morning and would be back Sunday night for the family dinner where she was going to meet the rest of the mob. Alfie really wanted her to meet Addy first and not in front of everyone else. He didn't trust them and knew that Addy would naturally gravitate towards those she knew and not give Quinn a second look and she was more nervous about Addy liking her than his sisters at this stage.

"Well Hello." She chirped nervously. She refrained from kissing Alfie in case Addy got jealous. He had told her how she often had spikes of jealousy if he spent too much time playing or talking to Sam, Poppy or Billy.

"Hey Addy, say hello to Quinn."

"Hi." She replied shyly, hiding behind Alfie's legs. She held up her arms and asked to be picked up.

"Hello Addy, it's nice to meet you."

"We go to beach now Daddy?" Addy paid no attention to Quinn and buried her head in Alfie's shoulder. He grabbed Quinn's hand and squeezed it.

"She's okay. This is normal." He whispered. He knew how worried she was about meeting her. "She's not crying so we are good to go." It didn't take her long to start talking in the car, she couldn't help herself and once she dropped Daffodil and Quinn picked her up for her Addy was over her shyness.

As soon as they got to the house Addy wanted to go to the beach. "Hurry up Daddy." She was jumping up and down as he hunted through her bag for her swimmers.

"Did you pack them?"

"I bringed Ed." As far as Addy was concerned, have Ed will travel. Everything else seemed superfluous to her needs. Well that was not entirely true, anything useful like clothes was superfluous, toys on the other hand were in abundance. Lucky her Daddy had more sense and packed the rest of the stuff for her. It amused him, he'd come up here for a week or two with one bag, now with Addy it was a never ending procession of bags, toys, food and whatever other stuff she could get into the car. "And your 'raffe and Daffodil."

He produced her swimmers with a flourish and she hopped from foot to foot while he got her changed. Quinn carried the towels while Alfie swung Addy up onto his back. She offered to sit and watch for a bit but Addy had different ideas "You come swim." She held out her little hand and Quinn jumped at the offer to join them.

Alfie did lament that two weeks ago she wore a barely there bikini and he literally drooled over her and today she was wearing a demure one piece. She still looked incredible though, he just really liked the bikini. It was sweet though that she was obviously thinking about what was appropriate around his little girl. He was pretty sure some of his other girlfriends, who to be frank didn't have much going on upstairs wouldn't have even thought about it.

They splashed around and she was surprised at how confident she was around water as Alfie tossed her to Quinn and Addy squealed with delight and when they walked back to the house for lunch she wanted to swing between both of them. Addy sat up next to Quinn at the bench and watched her Daddy make her a sandwich. "Daddy you make pancakes when I wake up?"

"For breakfast? Or are you going to have a sleep after lunch?"

"No." She always said no to a sleep but often fell asleep if you got her to sit still for half an hour. Alfie would tell her she didn't need to sleep but had to have a rest and more often than not she'd fall asleep. Instead she turned to Quinn "You like pancakes?"

"I do."

"Daddy make pancakes."

"Are they delicious?"

Addy nodded enthusiastically and looked delighted when Quinn offered up a high five. Addy had certainly put her food issues behind her as her palate adjusted. Alfie still had some things sent over from Australia for her, she loved her vegemite, Tim Tams, Twisties and he always got her Weet-bix breakfast cereal by the carton. Cooked breakfast was a weekend treat and they loved it, she sat up next to Pops while her Daddy made them breakfast.

They watched a movie after lunch so Addy could have some quiet time but she was too excited to sleep and was desperate to show Quinn the playground before dinner and loved it when her Daddy had to push both of them on the swing.

Quinn cooked dinner while Alfie showered Addy and got her ready for bed. She was terrified Addy wouldn't like it. Alfie laughed at her, she was heating up pumpkin soup and toasting some bread, it would be hard to fuck it up. Her nervousness was endearing but Addy was enjoying having Quinn around and talked non-stop at her over dinner.

She came charging back down the hallway from the bathroom after cleaning her teeth to say goodnight. "Good Night Addy. I had a really fun day, thank you for letting me come to your Beach House."

She curled up on the couch with a glass of wine while Alfie put her to bed. She was surprised it didn't take him long, not that she had any idea how long it took to put a child to bed, this was all new for her too. He would often comment that she took forever to go to sleep when he promised to call her but she was really was learning on the fly. "She was whacked. That's one thing I love about bringing her up here, she's knackered by bedtime." Joining her on the couch Quinn cuddled up to him for the first time all day.

"She's so beautiful Alfie."

"I'm biased, but yes she is?"

Quinn turned a little to face him. "I've had a good day."

"Good." Leaning forward to kiss her softly. "She likes you."

"Really?"

"Really. She wanted to come out and say goodnight." He gave her another quick kiss. "You should have heard her, she wanted to know if you'd be here in the morning and want to go to the playground again."

"Best little hugger."

Alfie feigned hurt. "What? Better than me?"

"Yep."

He rolled his head back dramatically. "I knew it. I knew this would happen. Once you met her I'd be tossed aside like trash."

"Hey, we've been here all day... I miss you." It didn't take Alfie long, all she had to do was run her hand over his groin and he reacted instantly, his body was out of his control as far as Quinn was concerned, she touched him, he got hard. "Is this okay? Can we do this?"

He laughed painfully when Quinn suddenly stopped. "We have to do this…look at me."

They reluctantly put some clothes back on before they fell asleep. Alfie slept closest to the door and Quinn woke up when she felt him move as he got up when Addy came in and took her to the bathroom even though she was half asleep and then put her in between them. She was barely awake and as long as she had her Daddy she didn't seem to mind.

She was still asleep when Quinn woke. Alfie had his hand on her stomach and when spoke he reached for her hand and held onto it. "You sleep okay?"

"Yeah, it's a bit weird."

"It is very weird the first time. When she first came into my bed I was like a statue. I didn't dare move. I had no idea what to do or if it was okay. I tried to take her back to her own bed and she lost her shit, she was screaming in the middle of the night and I swear the neighbours in the apartment we were staying in heard her. I let her sleep in my bed and she was fine."

"Is it hard? Learning to be a Dad? Do you worry about doing the wrong thing?"

"All the time."

"I can see she really loves you; she is so happy around you. I love the way she wants to touch you and be close to you. When we were watching the movie she always had a hand on you." Quinn felt a bubble of emotion rise in her chest and she swallowed hard.

"Hey." Alfie noticed it. "Hey, talk to me please."

"It's stupid." She pushed his hand away and got out of bed. Alfie called out to her but she ignored him.

"What's wrong?" He found his shirt and pulled it on and followed her out. She was standing by the window looking out at the beach. The sun was giving off a pale glow and it looked a little chilly out. The water roiled and boiled and with the window open a little you could hear it along with the birds just waking up. Alfie wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the back of her neck.

"Go away Alfie."

"No, I won't go away. What's wrong? What did I do?"

"Nothing. It's just…." Quinn's voice quivered. "I just don't see how I fit in with you and Addy."

"What do you mean? Fit in?"

"She's your priority and that's okay but…" she stamped her feet and tried to hold back the tears and the words. "…I'm jealous." They flowed out anyway.

Alfie spun her around. "Quinn, come on. Don't do this. Yes I love Addy, more than anything, she's my daughter but she can't be my whole life, that's not healthy for either of us. I told you last week I want you in our life. Sure, right now she doesn't know you so she is sticking close to me but you know what, when we are around my family she doesn't always want me close. Right now she does because it's a safety thing for her. For weeks she wouldn't go anywhere without me, she'd follow me to take a leak. Now if I ask her if she wants to go see Sam she's packed an overnight bag and wants to stay. If Iris is going out she's following her out the door, she goes to visit Colt's Dad with him without even giving me a second glance."

"She knows them and they are not stealing her Daddy from her."

"You are not stealing me from her, you are making me happy and that is good for Addy. You know last week she completely blew me off when I got home from work. Told me she was too busy to talk to me…she was playing with bloody Daffodil." Addy had talked Quinn's ear off about Daffodil in the car. "You aren't seeing the whole picture here." Alfie didn't know how to explain it to her. "I'm not choosing between you and Addy; I have room for both of you. You fill a completely different role in my life compared to Addy. I like that."

"I told you it was stupid."

"It's not stupid. It's kinda cute." Alfie kissed her sweetly. "It's a bit of a turn on actually."

"You are weird."

"And a little crazy about you." His kisses kept going and got a little more urgent, he feathered kisses along her jawbone and up behind her ear. "I want to get a little frisky with you right now. You know morning sex is my favourite thing ever. Ever since that first morning…"

"Addy?"

"Sound asleep. Come with me." He grabbed her hand and lead her to the bathroom and closed the door. Pushing her up against it his hands started to wander. "She can't open the door if we are up against it."

"But…."

Addy had thrown a spanner in the works but he was willing to work around her to show Quinn they could have it all.

"You fucking rock my world." Alfie whispered in her ear as she buried her head into his shoulder. "I feel so good with you." He was doing his best to involve her in their life and she really needed to stop freaking out every other day. He was so patient with her and she started to worry that his patience would wear out eventually. "Now, why don't you go back to bed, I'd like to see my two girls cuddle up together and I'll start breakfast."

"Pancakes and Bacon?"

"You got it." He winked and helped her get her clothes back on.

"Where's Daddy?" Addy asked sleepily. Quinn had closed her eyes and tried just to relax in the afterglow of their early morning session. He was saying all the right things so she had to just let the other stuff go and enjoy getting to know him. He was irresistible and she loved every minute she spent with him. He was right, Addy was just one part of him.

"He's cooking our breakfast. Shall we go see Daddy?" She was worried that Addy was going to hate being left with her.

"No, I stay here." Addy giggled. "You stay."

"We can stay." Addy did scrambled out of bed and went to the bathroom; she came back holding her pyjama bottoms and asked Quinn for help before Addy climbed back into bed. She didn't get too close to Quinn but she did talk to her.

Alfie heard them together and didn't want to disturb them. He was desperate for them to get along, he wanted that more than anything. He wanted this to work. Understanding Quinn's reluctance was challenging and her back and forth could be frustrating but he wasn't giving up because he really thought they had something special going on. He hadn't felt this way about someone for a long time, perhaps ever.

He decided to bring breakfast into them. "Breakfast in bed for my two favourite ladies." Addy thought it was best thing ever but she didn't let her Daddy join them. She held up her hand defiantly and told him _'No' _when he went to climb into bed with them.

They managed another swim and a trip to the playground before they left and thankfully Addy fell asleep in the car on the way back to Chicago and gave them a chance to catch their breath and reflect a little.. "So, good weekend?"

"Good weekend."

"You two, man I am whipped."

"Thank you for letting me spend the weekend with you and Addy."

"I've been looking forward to this, I knew you'd be fine. Addy loves people and she knows good people." Alfie had his hand on her leg, enjoying the warmth of her skin. "You two this morning was the cutest thing ever, the giggling. I feel like I am about to be ganged up on by my women."

"Your women?"

"Yes, the little one and the hot one." Quinn slapped his hand when he inched it higher. "Now, that was the easy part. Your biggest test awaits. The Circus."

"I feel nervous."

"You should be, they could do anything. I can promise you one thing, they are going to pull out all the stops and tell you some crazy story. I have a feeling the Circus tent will be in full swing tonight." Alfie teased her. "It's gonna get wild so best you just keep drinking, it's the only way you'll get through it."

"Alfie…" Quinn whined playfully.

"I just want you to be prepared."

"Maybe we can skip it?"

"Nope. It's time."

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with you and I want my family to meet you."

"Huh?"

He just winked at her, his eyes twinkling and then kept staring straight ahead. Why the hell would he drop that on her now? She felt her stomach flip, but holy hell she liked it. If he wanted her to say it back he'd have to wait. She had bigger plans for that moment. Not to say his moment was perfect.

They pulled up outside his house. Addy had been awake and singing with them for the past hour. He squeezed Quinn's hand. "Brace Yourself. Deep Breaths."

Alfie helped Addy out of his truck and she was off like a shot. "Watch this."

"Pops, Pops. I home." She yelled as she banged on the door. "Pops, where are you?"

Alfie let her in and she charged straight in looking for her Pops. Quinn saw the old man sitting in his chair, arms wide and smile light up his face as his great granddaughter charged into them. "Hello Darlin'." He wrapped his arms around her. "Pops missed you so much."

"I miss you Pops." Addy was so happy to see him. "Did Bug cook you food?" They loved all her little quirks with regards to Pops, she was quite the mother hen.

"She did. Don't fret pet." Pops kissed both her cheeks. "Did you have fun?"

"I did. I was a djinda."

Quinn had thought seeing Addy with her Dad was the cutest thing ever but this might just trump that. Alfie had his hand on her shoulder and leant over and whispered. "I told you she don't give me a second look some days."

"So precious."

"Who's that with your Daddy?" Adam knew about Quinn but had never met her. Alfie had told his Pops all about her and Adam had commented how happy he seemed. He just wanted his grandson to be happy and Addy had made him happy but he needed to find someone to share his life with too.

"Oh that Quinn." Addy was still talking at a million miles an hour. "She like Daddy's kisses too."

Alfie just laughed. "And we are off." He bought Quinn over to meet Adam and he insisted that she call him Pops.

"I've heard a lot about you. Alfie talks about you all the time and Addy sang us a song on the way home about seeing her Pops." Quinn sat down beside him. She was surprised when Adam reached for her hand, it was shaking a little and he held onto her tightly.

"Make my boy happy, he deserves it."

"He does. He's very sweet and he tells me that's because of you. You taught him how to sweet talk." Alfie loved watching her with Pops, she was sweet talking him as much as he was her and it felt genuine, she had really wanted to meet him.

"I am smooth, or I was in my day. That's how I got his grandmother."

"I heard." Quinn winked at him and Adam was a little bit smitten too.

Adam's eyes glazed over a little. He thought about her a lot lately. "She was way out of my league, I spent the first couple of years being an idiot but I got her back and we made a sweet family. We had a sweet life."

"I am looking forward to meeting everyone."

"Really? They are idiots. They are fucking insane."

"Pops." Alfie chastised him. "Don't scare her off."

"What? You are all insane, you know they are going to go feral. She seems like a nice girl; you need to warn her." Adam muttered. "She seems too pretty for you."

"I warned her about you." He disappeared into the kitchen to get dinner started. He knew that Adam would want to cook out back and liked to get it in early. Alfie would prepare it but Adam always came out to supervise the operation. It was a huge piece of meat today and he figured that it was going to be a full house. He wasn't worried about leaving Quinn with Adam, his Pops was a gentleman and he'd be sweet talking her until the cows came home.

He felt a little set of arms wrap around his legs and he ruffled her hair. "What's up sweetheart?"

"I love you Daddy Alfie."

"The feeling is mutual." Rarely did she call him Alfie, usually only when she was tired or frustrated that he wasn't answering her, at least to her satisfaction anyway or when she was stressed, which didn't happen often fortunately. If she was feeling unsafe or she was upset she would ask for Alfie. They could generally tell what she was feeling by her language and her reactions. Occasionally though he'd get Daddy Alfie and that was sweet.

Addy had even called him Alfred the other day when he spilled his glass of water on her drawing. _'Oh Alfred_…' she was most annoyed with him that day.

"Huh?"

"Love you to the moon Adelaide." He scooped her up and sat her on the bench next to where he was working. "Did you have fun this weekend?"

"Yes."

"My little Djinda, you made Daddy very happy."

"I see Sam?"

Addy had obviously moved on already; her train of thought was like a pinball machine. "Soon and who else?"

"Poppy."

"Yes and…"

"Bus." Gus had insisted that she call him Bus, like all the kids did. Addy loved everyone, she loved company and being around people. It had taken her a few weeks to get used to having people around all the time as it was apparently not something that Jedda did much. She had a very small circle of friends and Alfie worried that she would never get used to it but she had and now Sunday nights were her favourite part of the week, when the house was full she was in her element.

It wasn't as bad as Quinn was expecting and Alfie's sister were lovely. Addy was beside herself when they arrived and was bossing Sam and Poppy around the moment they walked through the door and Quinn was given Billy to cuddle at one stage. She had whispered to Alfie when he came to check on her that it really wasn't that bad. He told her to hold judgement. "The night is young."

And then dinner happened.

"You know Alfie steals babies. He's like a dingo." Lola started it. "He probably stole Addy."

"I didn't steal Addy."

"That's bad Daddy." Addy shook her head. "That's naughty. Bus will put you in jail."

He sighed. "I don't steal babies." Explaining briefly to Quinn about the infamous 'a dingo stole my baby' story from Australia many decades ago. "I didn't steal Addy and Adelaide, I am not going to jail."

"You stole Bug." Mae offered.

"I didn't steal her, I relocated her."

Lola just waved her hand. "And because you were Mom and Dad's favourite you didn't get in trouble."

"Bloody oath I was."

"You stole the baby and we got reamed for it."

"Because you were bitches." It was cute that both Sam and Addy gasped at the same time.

Lola ignored the commotion and continued to tell her story. "Bug was two weeks old and he climbed up on a stool, took her from her bed and upstairs to his room so he could play trains with her."

"You told me I couldn't touch her because I'd step on her or drop her and she'd die."

"Well you stepped on my doll." Lola argued back. "Her head was all munted."

"I proved you wrong and Mom and Dad felt sorry for me because you were so mean."

He thought they were being pretty mild and he was feeling confident that he was going to come out of this smelling like roses. Quinn didn't look too freaked out and was actually enjoying the banter but it took a sharp turn.

"Remember the time he took Viagra?" Mae chortled and at that point Colton picked up the bottle of wine and topped up Quinn's glass. The fuckening had begun.

"What?" Adam hadn't heard this at all.

"Whoops." Mae pretended like it was an accident. He knew better, they were calculating bitches some days.

Alfie scowled at Iris when she chimed in. "I remember this story."

Mae was more than happy to continue despite Alfie's harsh look. "He called Lola from a party he was at and begged her to come and get him. She picked him up and he was clutching a jacket in his lap all the way home."

"I asked him what the 'f' was wrong with him and he just turned bright red and he bolted upstairs still clutching his jacket over his…" She looked at Sam and Addy listening intently. "…situation." Lola and Mae thought it was hysterical. Adam was frowning and everyone else just tried to fade into the background, they'd learnt early on you did not stick your head above the parapet when they were on a roll. "He'd been dared to take a Viagra and of course he did it, he was dumb like that and had this massive umm… situation that wouldn't go away."

"Can you not?"

"Daddy…."

"Eat your dinner Adelaide." Alfie patted her hand and smiled. "Everyone should just eat your dinner."

"Wait?" Adam was a little perturbed by this. "When was this?"

"He was sixteen Pops. So young and stupid. Thinking a girl would be interested in his little…."

Alfie cut her off. "Shut the hell up Charlotte."

"Ohhhhh." Addy's head snapped up from her dinner.

Lola just smirked and let Mae take over. "The next morning he was desperate. He was still, you know…" she held one finger straight up. "…and he was freaking out. Lola told him he had to go take care of it. I mean he was sixteen, he'd probably been doing that six times a day and now he was all freaked out by it. It was hilarious."

"I don't think I want to hear anymore." Adam moaned. "You are all going to be the death of me. I don't want to hear any more of your crazy fucking shit. You are fucking lunatics."

Colt leaned across the table and asked Quinn if she was okay. "After a while this just seems normal."

"Really? I don't see how." Alfie squeezed her leg under the table and shrugged. He had warned her, but he didn't think that this particular story would come out.

Adam gave little regard to his language anymore and he didn't even care about the kids. They told them that it was Pops 'special' word and only he could use it. Which was a lie, they had all dropped it at one stage or the other when the kids were around. It was hard not too when all this shit was going down.

He didn't even blink when Sam pushed his plate away from him and told his father he was "fucking finished."

Riley warned Sam about saying 'Pops word' and Lola was annoyed at Alfie for laughing because that only encouraged him. Funnily enough Addy was just sitting there with her mouth agape and Poppy was just focused on getting her dinner into her mouth and she was failing miserably and there was food everywhere. Billy wasn't much better, he was covered from head to toe in his food, which wasn't unusual "You've got no one to blame but yourself Charlotte."

"Except you Alfred…" she spat at him for his sarcastic use of her proper name. "… and your chemically enhanced penis."

"It amuses me no end that you of all people Charlotte are happy to talk about my penis when you locked yourself in your room for days horrified when you found out about sex thanks to the sex addict over there." He pointed at Mae and she sniggered at Alfie's rant and he didn't spare her either. "And you, broke Dad's penis and got lectured at school, not once but three times for your graphic descriptions of animal reproduction. Not to mention how you announced to your class that Mom was pregnant with Bug."

Adam chuckled. "Ahh, the little fucker story."

"And poor Riley, had to beg for almost two years to get you give it up."

"Hey don't drag me into your insanity." Riley knew it was pointless.

Quinn looked at Colton helplessly and he just shrugged. While Alfie had told her Colton was there to help her out when things went sideways she soon learned that all that meant was he topped up her glass.

Things calmed down once they left the dinner table and Quinn spent some time talking to Iris and Colton once everyone had left and Alfie took Addy up to bed. She had come down and said goodnight to everyone and Iris loved how she hugged Quinn. She wanted Alfie to be happy and knew how much he liked her and wanted this weekend to be a success.

"Addy seemed to have a good weekend. The house is so quiet without her." Iris made her a cup of coffee.

"I can imagine, she loves to chat doesn't she?"

"She does. She is really starting to find her feet. Alfie is doing such a good job with her, we kinda knew he would."

Quinn felt like this could turn into a Spanish inquisition at any moment. "They are pretty tight aren't they? Addy and your Pops was magic."

"From the moment Alfie told us about Addy, Pops was adamant that she belonged here. The day we bought her home he was the first to meet her and she loves him. He has that effect on people."

"Alfie talks about him a lot."

"They are very close. Pops took over the Dad role in Alfie's life. He likes you too."

"Who? Pops?"

"Yes. He's not always that easy to please." Iris had watched as Pops interacted with Quinn and he had squeezed her hand and given her a sweet kiss on the cheek and thanked her for coming to dinner before he went to bed. He was looking forward to seeing her again.

"He's very sweet."

"He just wants Alfie to be happy, he knows that Addy is doing that, and he's proud of him for stepping up the way he did and taking care of her but he worries that he is alone." Iris reached over and patted Quinn's leg. "Until now anyway. He's really happy for Alfie."

"Your brother is very special. I am loving getting to know him and I've got to say, he makes it easy."

"Oh, He's alright I guess, for a brother." Iris looked up as Alfie came down. He flopped down beside Quinn and draped an arm around the back of the couch and her shoulders.

"Addy's asleep?"

"Out like a light. We kept her busy all weekend. Hey Bug, do you mind if I take Quinn home?" He really wanted to get her on her own for a bit and talk to her. They hadn't had much of a chance since they'd hit Chicago and he hadn't forgotten what he'd told her in the car and he was keen to find out how she felt about that and the dinner. "Addy should sleep now."

"Go…" Iris waved her hand around. "Go and touch each other inappropriately."

"Always takes things too far." He moaned. "Don't you forget to lock your door; I don't want my daughter to see Colt's lily white ass as he's humping you."

"He has a cute ass."

"I am right here." Colton groaned. He still was never quite prepared for the sharp turns any conversation could take, how they pinged around from one conversation to another was astounding.

"I really like your sisters." Quinn was exhausted by the time they got in the car. She closed her eyes for a moment. "You are all very alike."

"Yep."

"Did that really happen? The Viagra?" She rolled her head to the side to look at him and she liked that he looked happy. She was starting to get a handle on him and his expressions. He wasn't very good at hiding his feelings.

"I am ashamed to say yes. All of it. Every crazy thing that gets thrown out at the dinner table it true, dramatized for effect but very true."

Quinn had been a little stunned by it all. She had convinced herself that it must have been made up, at least some of it. "You don't need Viagra now?"

"No…" He ran his hand up her inner thigh. "..I've got you."

She stopped him. "Did Mae really break your Dad's penis?"

"No, not quite but apparently he ended up in hospital and they did suspect it might be broken. She walked in on them going for it, just stood beside the bed and watched. I was a couple of months old I think and slept through it." Alfie explained the real story. "The one thing Dad didn't want was for Mom's family to find out, they did and he copped it. You can imagine that Sunday night dinner."

"Funny people."

"But not bad people?"

"No, not at all. What did your Pops say? You are all fucking lunatics."

He had to agree "At least we're not boring."

"You could just talk about work and shit, you know like normal people."

"Boring."

Alfie pulled up outside her apartment. "Are you coming in?"

"Yes, you need to touch me inappropriately."

He was desperate for two things. To know how she felt and to make love to her. While the weekend hadn't been barren in that regard it had been a little strange knowing that Addy was close by, that was a first for him too. He wanted a few hours just to relax and enjoy Quinn. It was still early enough.

Alfie carried her bag inside and he suddenly felt nervous. Quinn had been quiet for the last few minutes. "Have I upset you?"

"What? No." She stepped close to him and rested a hand on his chest. He held her by the hips and Quinn met his intense gaze with one of her own. "It's just been a really, really big weekend. I've met Addy…adorable. I've met your family…. insane. I met your Pops… incredible man. I can see the love in that house and I know growing up without your Mom and Dad would've been so hard, but I'm glad you had all that around you." She stepped a little closer. "And I am trying to figure out how to tell you that I am in love with you too."

"I think you just did." He smiled. "Do you mean it, because I meant it?"

"Why don't you kiss me and find out." She slid her hand up his chest and grabbed the back of his neck. "I love you Alfie." The kiss started sweet. It was deep and passionate and then she pulled away.

Then they smashed into each other, clawing at each other's clothes where they stood. Tossing them aside one by one and once they were naked he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, dropping her on the bed unceremoniously and taking just a moment to look her over before joining her. It may have been a bash and dash but there was something else added now. A comfortable certainty that they were both pulling in one direction; towards a future.

Alfie was in no rush to leave though. "So what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I think we need to sit down soon and work out a bit of a plan, just for the next little while. I think, correct me if I'm wrong we have decided that this is a thing, like a real thing and that means we need to have a plan on how we do this. I mean, Addy's gotta come into it."

"Can I just enjoy my buzz?"

"I didn't mean to be a buzzkill." He sounded a little deflated.

"Alfie, you are not a buzzkill, I just feel a bit buzzed right now. I just meant, I'm so happy I can't think straight."

"Hey, so am I. I just worry about Addy in all this. I want to spend time with you, like all the time but I have her to worry about and spend time with. I don't want you to miss out on me, because fuck I am good at this…" he slid his hand between her thighs. "..but we have that adorable 3 year old who deserves the world."

"We can do both, I know we can." Quinn nipped his bottom lip playfully. "Sneaky sex sounds appealing."

"it does." He pulled her close. "Hey, I love you."

"So you keep saying."

"I just like the way it sounds."


	53. Djinda

"Did you tell them you weren't coming alone?"

"Not exactly."

"Did you tell them I was coming?"

"No."

"You didn't tell them about Little miss chatterbox either?" He pointed to the backseat where Addy was looking out the window singing some song she was making up as she went along.

"Yes I did, I told them I was bringing some random child that I picked up from the Supermarket with me." Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Is this going to freak them out?"

"Well yes it is. Trust me, it's better this way. Mom will go insane if she knows, she will have a bedroom repainted, half the toy store bought and there will be no food in the fridge suitable for anyone over the age of four." Alfie peered at her from the corner of her eye and was very amused, he'd swear she was almost having a Ruzek Rant. "My Mom wants to be a grandmother. She may have discussed artificial insemination with me once, for when I am almost passed my used by date and still single. She has concerns about my ability to land a decent man."

"Really? That's intense. What about your sister?"

"My sister is not sure she wants children. She doesn't see how she can climb mountains with a baby strapped to her back and she thinks that kids are you know, bad for the environment." Quinn explained little sarcastically.

"What? How so?"

"More kids, more carbon footprint, more animals dying because you know we eat meat and more trees being cut down."

"And without kids, no more humans."

"I am not sure she cares to be honest." Quinn scoffed. "So I am my mother's only hope and you know, tick tock." He'd had figured that Quinn wasn't especially close to her sister, Isla was a free spirit apparently and Quinn rarely talked about her.

"I'm worried."

"Don't be. She will play nice this time, it's next time she will have a list of questions as long as your arm." Quinn shrugged. "And she may request a sperm count, although the cacophony of noise in the backseat proves you are capable of reproducing."

"Is that all I am to you, a genetic material provider?" Quinn had heard the full 'little fucker' story when Mae told her class about her mother's pregnancy. She laughed constantly during family dinners; they were hilarious.

"Yes, comes in a pretty package though."

"I've never had someone call it pretty before. Effective obviously, I mean it does its job but not pretty." Alfie teased her; he was loving that she was freaking out a little.

"I am not talking about that specifically, I mean all of you. You are pretty, it is not."

"Daddy is pretty." Addy chimed in from the backseat.

"Thank you Darlin'. And here I was worried that you wouldn't cope with a Ruzek family dinner, were you at all worried about me?"

"No." she scoffed. "Are you upset that I haven't told them you are coming?"

"Nope. Amused. As long as they don't mind and there is room for us."

"If there isn't, Addy can sleep with us."

"Ummm…."

"I will not being having sex with you this weekend." She replied, a little hysterically. "In my parent's house."

"You have sex with me Daddy?" Addy had impeccable timing and ears like a freakin' bat. Pity she couldn't hear her name when you wanted her to do something. Then she was deaf as a post.

Alfie saw Quinn's horrified look and nipped the whole thing in the bud. "No Adelaide. It's for grown-ups and for Daddy and Quinn."

"But we do sex all the time."

"Ummm, no we don't."

"I sex with Bug and Colt and Sam."

"Adelaide. You do not sex with Bug and Colt and Sam or me. Sleeping in someone's bed is not sex."

"Oh No." Addy sighed. "You and Quinn do sex."

"Yes Addy, now let's talk about something else."

"Who cooking Pops dinner?" Thankfully she moved on quickly albeit briefly.

"Iris and Colton."

"Oh. Do they sex?"

"Yes."

"Oh, that's good." She sighed. They weren't quite sure whether she was sighing because of the fact that Pops dinner was taken care of or she was sighing because she was happy that Colt and Iris were having sex even though she obviously did not know what it involved and the longer it stayed that way the better.

He was hoping like hell Addy had forgotten about it by the time they got to her parent's house. It was not the way to impress your girlfriend's parents when you rocked up unannounced with a four year old in tow. He did not need Addy making out like he was a paedophile, his family would laugh, he wasn't sure what Quinn's family would do, there was a good chance he might get arrested.

"Let's talk about something else please."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed, although not as disappointed as Alfie was about the startling hysterical announcement from Quinn. He wasn't spending the weekend with Quinn and refraining from getting his leg over. They didn't get a lot of time together during the week.

"Cheer up buttercup. It's only two nights." Quinn patted him on the cheek.

Meg heard the front door open and rushed up from the basement. "Mom." Quinn called out; she was surprised she wasn't waiting for her to arrive at the door. Meg didn't see her daughter as much as she liked anymore so when Quinn said she was coming home she drove her husband nuts with excitement.

"Hi Mom." Quinn laughed as she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Alfie standing behind her with Addy bundled up and still groggy after falling asleep in the car. "This is Alfie and Adelaide." She pushed him forward and Alfie knew she was nervous.

Alfie did his best not to laugh at her mother's stunned look and smiled politely instead. "It's so lovely to meet you. I apologise for turning up uninvited but Quinn assured me that you liked surprises. My grandmother would have lectured me for hours about my appalling lack of manners, but your daughter is cute and I find it hard to say no to her." Quinn wasn't the only nervous one.

"Me too. It's nice to meet you Alfie. My daughter thinks I like surprises, but no matter how many times I tell her she just keeps doing it. Anyway, welcome to our home. To you and your daughter?" He didn't miss the inflection in her voice at the end of the sentence. It was obvious it was a question and she was shocked.

Quinn took the jacket that Alfie had covered Addy with to protect her from the rain, the temperature had definitely dropped in the last hour or so and the rain had started to fall just before they got out of the car. "This is Adelaide, or Addy as she likes to be called." Quinn casually announced. "Hope it's okay that we bought her?"

"Oh, goodness, of course it's okay." Meg recovered quickly and tried to hide her surprise. This was completely unexpected; Quinn had not breathed a word that her new boyfriend had a child.

Addy was stirring but she hadn't been asleep for long enough and refused to say hello. "Sorry." Alfie tried to get her to at least say hi "She doesn't do waking up well, at least not after falling asleep in the car. Mornings are another story." She was clutching her Echidna under her arm and staring at Quinn's mom with her big brown eyes.

"Please come in." She ushered them out of the entrance hall into the lounge.

Alfie sat on the couch with Addy still hanging onto his neck for dear life and accepted the cup of coffee that Meg offered to make for him. "Go talk to your Mom, she looks freaked." He whispered to Quinn when her Mom left them. He would try and thaw Addy out.

"So surprise." Quinn giggled nervously.

"You could say that." Her Mom looked pissed. "A little bit of notice would have been nice. You know, some mention of the fact he had a daughter. Why the big secret?"

"It's not a secret and it's not what you think Mom. Firstly, Alfie is such a sweetheart, I adore him and he is such a good dad. Addy is a lovely little girl. She won't be a problem."

"I am sure they are lovely. Just some advance warning next time."

"He's her only parent." Quinn rushed to fill the silence. "Addy's mom died almost a year ago, Alfie didn't know he even had a daughter until then. She was born in Australia and he was back living in Chicago, she never told him about the baby. He found out after she died and he got a phone call from lawyer. He flew back to Australia and took custody of her and bought her back here. His family is all here." She rambled. "Alfie's parents died in a car accident when he was seven. He has three sisters, he was bought up by his grandparents and he still lives with his grandfather and his youngest sister, Iris and now Addy. They are all very close and such a great family, they help him with Addy and he works hard. He's a sweet, sweet man, I adore him and he's so kind and smart and I know he loves me."

Meg looked bemused as Quinn finally took a breath. "That's a lot of information sweetheart."

"I know." Quinn was shaking a little. At the very least she could read her mother's reaction and that was one of the reasons she wanted to tell her face to face. "It was a verbal vomit wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Mom, I just really want you to like him. Alfie is the nicest man I've ever met."

"He seems nice but I don't really know him yet so I will take your word for it for now. He makes you happy?" Her voice was a little clipped but Quinn had faith that Alfie would win her over and it wouldn't take long for Addy to steal her heart. That was Addy's speciality.

"Very."

Addy was sitting up on her Daddy's lap. "Quinn, this is your house?" Alfie had explained to her where they were, despite telling her repeatedly that they were coming to meet Quinn's Mom and Dad. She did have the memory of a gnat when it suited her.

"It is."

"You growed up here?"

"I certainly did."

"And that your Mum?" She pointed shyly at Meg.

"It is my Mom, her name is Meg." Meg just sat and watched them interacting and liked how the little girl was responding to Quinn.

"You so lucky. I don't have a Mum."

"I am very lucky."

"I have a Daddy; you have a Daddy?"

"I do, he will be home soon and you can meet him too."

"My Alfie doesn't have a Daddy." Alfie did think it was curious that she called him Alfie, perhaps he wasn't the only nervous nelly here.

Quinn smiled a little sadly at Alfie. "I know, you are lucky you girl though. We love your Daddy." Addy hugged Alfie quickly. She did love her Daddy.

Quinn offered to take Addy when she asked to use the toilet and she was happy to hold her hand and go with her and was chatting away to Quinn. Alfie felt a little awkward being left with her mother, he had no idea what Quinn had told her in the kitchen but she did have the tendency to talk when she was nervous so he was just going to assume she gave the whole shebang.

"She's a lovely little girl Alfie."

"Thank you. I think so too, but I am biased." Talking about Addy was a good buffer. "I understand that this is a bit of a shock, I didn't know that Quinn hadn't told you we were coming or about Adelaide but we love having her in our life, both of us. I adore Quinn. I was upfront about Addy very early on, Quinn really wanted to get to know her and I love seeing them together. We are really happy." Alfie spoke at a million miles an hour. "Quinn is amazing, I am a lucky man. Addy is a lucky to have someone like Quinn in her life." It was the second verbal vomit that Meg had endured.

"We are happy to have you both here."

"Daddy." Addy bounded back into the room and cut the conversation short, he did see Quinn look at both of them in a bit of a panic, probably searching for any sign that things had gone badly. Quinn was desperate for her parents to like Alfie. "They have a pool." She flung herself at her Dad. "Can we swim?"

"Ahh, it's raining and cold." Alfie reminded her. "Like, really raining."

"I good swimming."

"I know you are but it's too cold and you don't have swimmers either."

"We go shops and buy them."

"Addy, it is too cold." Addy looked like her balloon had just been popped. "Maybe next time."

"We come back?" Quinn promised her they would be back and she begrudgingly accepted that she wasn't going swimming this time.

Meg showed them to their room and made up the bed in Isla's old room for Addy. "Will she be okay in here?"

"We will give it a go, don't go to too much trouble though, she rarely stays in her own bed all night." Alfie was nervous that Addy was going to misbehave, which she didn't often do but Addy struggled with changes to her routine, she fretted if she didn't know where she was at night and was a bit of a nervous nelly in new places.

Alfie jumped in the shower with Addy while Quinn helped her mother with dinner and Meg told her to call her father. "He will have a heart attack if he walks in on this."

"Are you okay Mom? I really want you to be okay with this." Quinn was desperate for her mother to get on board, her Dad would be fine, he worried less about things like this. "I really love Alfie. He's a really good man."

"Oh sweetheart, I am glad you are all here." She tapped her phone. "Call your father."

"Hey Dad."

"Quinn, please don't tell me this is a phone call to tell me you are still stuck in Chicago. There is a game on tonight with our name on it." Alfie had been impressed that she loved watching football as much as he did and he loved that it was a thing with her Dad. "No, I'm at home, helping Mom with dinner. What time will you be home?"

"An hour, tops."

"Okay. I can't wait to see you."

"When did you arrive? I am guessing about the time your mother stopped harassing me?"

"We got here about an hour ago."

"We?" Her Dad was quick, he picked up on her choice of words.

"Yes, Alfie came with me."

"The new man? You finally bought him?"

"Yes."

"Does he like football?"

"He does. He's looking forward to having some beers and putting his feet up and yelling at the TV with you." Quinn took a deep breath. "We also bought his daughter Adelaide with us."

"Quinn…" Joel sighed. "…is your mother flipping out?"

"A little. Dad, please don't wig out too, one of you is enough. You'll love Adelaide, she's only three and the sweetest little girl and I know you will really like Alfie."

Addy came down all dressed in her pyjamas.

"Where's your Daddy?"

"Making himself pretty." Quinn knew that was exactly what he would have told Addy. In all likelihood he was either tidying up after cyclone Addy got out of the shower or on the phone to work checking up on some animal, probably both.

Meg was worried that she didn't have food for Addy to eat, she had almost dashed to the shops already, not that she had any idea what Addy would like. She was cooking her squash and spinach Rotolo for dinner, which was Quinn's favourite. "She'll love it." Quinn assured her. "Addy doesn't like peas , mushrooms, beetroot or fish but that's about it."

Addy was listening and screwed up her nose. "It cat food."

"But you love pumpkin?"

"Yes. Daddy loves pumpkin. He makes soup." Addy declared proudly. "And pancakes for breakfast. Ohhh and bacon." This was the Addy that Quinn was used too, she was hitting her stride. "Pops is old but he cooks meat."

Quinn filled her Mom in quickly on the family dynamic. It sounded crazy when you had to explain it to someone.

"Pops is funny." Addy added. She was listening intently as she watched Meg roll up the pasta sheets. "I laugh."

"He is funny isn't he? Daddy's checking on that elephant isn't he?"

"She having baby soon." Addy couldn't wait, although it was still a good month away. "Daddy will took me when they borned." He had very pregnant first time elephant mom at the zoo and they were eagerly awaiting the new arrival.

"Speaking of animals would you like to come with me, I have something I think you will love." Meg rinsed her hands under the tap and dried them off on her apron. "Quinn can finish this."

Addy followed her happily and Quinn heard her little excited squeal. Alfie was going to kill her.

"Where's Addy?" Alfie finally reappeared. He kissed Quinn's cheek and told her the elephant was still pregnant when she asked about his phone call. "And yes I cleaned up after her. She got water everywhere as per usual. Has she been good?"

She assured him that Addy was on her best behaviour but that she was. "…down in the basement. I think that's where she will be all weekend."

"Seems harsh." He grabbed a quick drink of water and headed off to find her. "Should I be worried?"

"Yes, yes you should."

His life was over. Addy was in heaven; this was her personal nirvana. He found her sitting in the middle of the floor, Meg was sitting with her and she was covered in kittens. She could not look happier if she tried. "Here you are."

"Daddy." Addy gushed. "Look Daddy, it's kittens. Misty had kittens. This is Misty." She pointed to the mother cat sitting calmly in Meg's lap watching her babies. Surrounding Addy was six little kittens and she couldn't even sit still. "Come see Daddy. They so cute."

Sitting down behind Addy he did love watching how careful she was with them. They looked about five weeks old. "You don't mind?" Meg had asked Quinn if Addy would like to see them and she assured her that she'd love it and Alfie wouldn't mind. She had spent a lot of time with him at the zoo and played with lots of babies.

"Not at all. This is what we spend a lot of time doing."

"Daddy, I have one?"

"Sorry Darlin'." He cut her down early. "You know Pops can't have cats around." He wasn't going to tell Meg that his Pops hated cats, they just told Addy that he was allergic to them. "They are very cute though aren't they." He scooped one up and checked it out. It barely filled his hand. "Hello..." He took a quick look underneath the tail. "…Little lady."

"That's how Daddy knows, he look at her bum." Addy reliably informed Meg.

"Thank you Adelaide." Alfie sighed. She was getting a little too comfortable.

"We will probably keep her, Misty's getting a little long in the tooth to breed. I think this might be her last litter." Misty was a Chocolate Champagne Burmese and they were beautiful cats. Meg was a cat breeder. She had two females that she kept and would bring a male in to mate. It was a process that Alfie understood well. Tish, the other female was due to give birth any day now, heaven help him if she went into labour over the weekend, Addy would never leave.

"She's beautiful. She's a good Mom and these ones look great."

"She's is and very trusting. Addy is very sweet with them and Misty can sense that." Meg was surprised to see how gentle Addy was and how calm Misty was as she kept a close eye on her babies. "You've taught her well."

Alfie wasn't surprised. When he took her to meet some Tiger Cubs they had at the zoo she was beside herself and lay on the floor with them for an hour letting them crawl all over her. If it involved baby animals she had the patience of a saint, if it involved doing a chore, like picking up her toys she had the concentration span of a half chewed peanut.

"She's an animal lover that's for sure. I grew up surrounded by animals so it's nice to share that with her." He ran his hand over her back and Meg loved how attentive he was to Addy; he was very gentle and patient with her. "I think it really helped us in the beginning. It was the first place I took Addy when we first met, out to the Zoo my Dad opened in Australia. I thought that was really sweet, we had a great day."

"Quinn says that's why you choose Zoology, because of your Dad?"

"It was, initially, when he was still alive I told him I was going to be a Cop like my Pops. I think he'd be happy I changed my mind. He wanted one of us to love animals as much as he did." He handed the kitten back to Addy who put her down with the other kittens before she wiggled around and lay flat on her tummy so she could talk to them. "I am not sure we'll ever get her out of here. I suggest when we leave you do a head count to make sure they are all accounted for."

They could hear voices upstairs and assumed that Quinn's Dad had arrived. "Come on Addy, time to go leave Misty and her babies in peace."

"Okay." She was disappointed but knew the rules and didn't argue with her Dad. She also knew that she wasn't allowed to kiss them but she did say goodbye to each one of them individually and promised to come back soon. Slipping her hand in her Dad's as they climbed the stairs Meg could see why her daughter was in love with both of them. "Daddy, I love them so much."

"I'm not surprised Darlin'." It was all they were going to hear about. As soon as they were back upstairs she bolted down to the kitchen, she had certainly made herself at home and barrelled into Quinn.

"Quinn, there are kittens." Her excitement was off the charts as she bounced on her feet.

"I know, I thought you'd like them."

"I love them." She hadn't noticed Quinn's Dad standing there. "I play with them all."

"Did you? And Misty was okay?"

"Yes, oh yes, she liked me." She was so excited, Alfie had no idea how he was going to get her to calm down enough to even eat dinner, let alone go to bed.

"Hi." Alfie decided to introduce himself to Quinn's Dad since she was being monopolised right now. "I'm Alfie. Nice to meet you Mr Bentley."

Her father shook his hand and insisted that he call him Joel.

"And this is Adelaide." He rubbed her head and asked her to say hello, distracting her from her detailed description of all six kittens, she remembered every single one of them.

"Hi, I Addy. You've got kittens." When Addy was excited she would talk to anyone. "Six, you've got six."

"We certainly do."

Alfie just shrugged, there was no stopping her. "I'm sorry. She might chew your ear off about them. She's a little excited."

"So is Meg. It's her thing, I just fund it." He rolled his eyes. "Beer?" He offered Alfie a drink and he was more than happy to accept. They left the girls in the kitchen and took the beers through to the lounge and Addy was asking Meg a million questions and telling Quinn how much she loved them. Joel always sat down with a beer when he got home. He was a creature of habit and Alfie didn't mind at all.

"Quinn says you work at the Zoo?"

"I do, I'm a Zoologist and currently just finishing off my Vet's degree." Alfie had no idea how much her parents knew but he was just assuming not a lot. "Followed in my family's footsteps. My Dad was a Zoologist and his Dad was a Vet."

"They must be proud."

"I guess so. I never met my Grandfather, he died well before I was born and my Dad passed away when I was young."

Joel had no idea. "Sorry to hear that." He paused for a moment and decided to change the subject. Where'd you meet Quinn?"

"I met Quinn at my mother's charity ball. She started it more than thirty years ago. I saw Quinn at the bar, thought I'd buy her a drink and the rest is history. It was meant to be." Alfie rolled the beer bottle up and down his leg nervously and knew what was coming so thought he'd get out ahead of it. "My Mom and Dad died together in a car accident when I was seven."

"Shit Alfie, I'm sorry." Joel was genuinely shocked.

"Tough road, Quinn is the first person I've felt comfortable really sharing my past with."

"Not Addy's mother?"

"That was a strange relationship, Addy's mom isn't around anymore. She died a year ago." He shook his head a little wistfully. "Jesus, it sounds like one long miserable story doesn't it.? I'm really not that bad. Addy bought a lot of joy to my life and we love having Quinn in our world. She's amazing."

"Daddy?" Addy wandered in looking for her next victim, she had talked Meg and Quinn's ear off about the kittens and needed to tell someone else now. "I call Pops?"

"Sure."

"I want to ask him if I can have a kitten."

"I don't think so; you can tell him about the kittens but we are not getting a kitten." He pulled out his phone and dialled the number for her. Addy loved talking to Pops and every night before dinner she called him to _'see if he misses me.' _And to make sure he was eating.

"Hi Pops. I miss you." She yelled. Adam didn't exactly hear well these days. "There are kittens here."

It was a very one-sided conversation for Alfie and Joel but very cute and Alfie explained that Adam would be grumpily telling her that he was allergic to cats. "He has no patience for the general public or us but his great grandchildren could get away with murder and he'd defend them until his last breath."

"Seems like a grandparent thing to do."

"It used to be us that he defended, now it's Addy and my sister's kids. Addy has three cousins and she adores them; she went from no family to all these people around her and she just loves it. She loves my Pops. He was the first person she met when I bought her home. He's 94 and we live with him and they are as thick as thieves and whenever we go away she worries about who is going to cook Pops dinner." The verbal vomiting seemed to be catching. Alfie eventually asked for the phone back, Addy would talk to him forever given the chance and Adam would hang up on her when he was done. He excused himself and spoke to Adam briefly and Adam reminded him that he hated cats.

"I'm warning you Alfred…"

Alfie laughed. He knew Adam would rant at him. "What? You'd break Addy's heart like that."

"Yes, yes I would." He really could not stand cats and had refused to have one. The kids had convinced him to get a dog once, it lasted seven years and he swore never again. Despite their claims they would help take care of it, like their mother before them it was a short lived promise, certainly a lot shorter than the dog's life.

Leaving Addy with Quinn's Dad knowing she loved a chat he wasn't surprised to come back to find her leaning up against the arm of his chair and talking to him about the kittens. It was all she could think about and before dinner she asked if she could just go see if they were okay. Addy was told she could go to the bottom step but no further and no matter how desperate she was Addy was no rule breaker. Sam broke the rules all the time and it freaked Addy out.

"Oh Alfie, I forget to ask Pops." Addy face palmed herself dramatically.

"What did you forget?"

"Who cooks him dinner."

"Bug is cooking him dinner tonight, don't worry."

"Oh thank god." She sighed with relief and Joel thought it was hilarious. Alfie had a suspicion that she'd won him over already. Meg seemed to enjoy her too and Addy was bursting at the seams during dinner and several times Alfie had to tell her to take a breath and let someone else talk.

Addy had come into their bed about 4am, slept for another couple of hours and then asked to go to the bathroom. When she didn't come back Alfie went looking for her and knew precisely where to look. Sitting on the step, in the dark, her knees pulled up to her chin. She was _'waiting for the kittens to wake up.'_ He actually had no idea how they were going to get her to leave tomorrow.

Making himself a coffee he joined Addy on the step and enjoyed the quiet time with her, Addy had her chin resting on his knee as she waited. He was only allowed to whisper so he didn't wake them even though all she wanted was for them to wake up. He heard someone come downstairs and left Addy watching the darkened basement for any sign of movement.

"Good Morning." Meg was surprised to see him.

"Morning. I hope you don't mind. I made a coffee. Addy is up, sitting on the step patiently waiting for the slightest movement or noise. I'm sorry."

"How cute? I'll take her down when I feed Misty and Tish."

"I think she'd feed them her own fingers if she could."

"Can I ask you something?" Meg seemed nervous. "You can tell me to mind my own business."

Alfie just nodded. He wasn't stupid, he knew he had to answer questions and subject himself to whatever grilling Quinn's parents saw fit. She'd put up with his family, it was only fair.

"I know Quinn wants to have children…"

He didn't let her finish. While it was way too early to even think about that, he was very aware that Quinn wanted children one day and he couldn't imagine only having Addy. "I don't want Addy to be an only child. I grew up with three sisters, I loved it, even though they were a pain in my butt and still are, I couldn't imagine not having them around. I really want Addy to have that opportunity too. That's all I can tell you right now."

"Okay."

"Meg, I know you are worried. I am crazy in love with Quinn, she has made me a better man and a better Dad and I love having her in my life and so does Addy. I miss her when she's not around. You've raised a beautiful daughter and I am really love watching her help Addy be amazing."

"Addy seems to really like Quinn."

"They are as thick as thieves and they have been from the moment they met; I don't get a look in some days."

Addy's shriek interrupted them and Alfie cringed. She'd heard them meowing and Misty talking back to them. Meg asked her if she would like to help her give Misty and Tish breakfast while her Daddy took Quinn up a coffee.

He put the cup on the side table and stretched out on top of his sleeping beauty and started nuzzling her neck. "Good morning." He chuckled as she tried to swat him away. "Wake up."

"It's early." Quinn refused to open her eyes. "Go away."

"I've been up for an hour."

Quinn opened one eye. "Where's Addy?"

"Give you one guess."

"With the kittens."

"Sitting on the bottom step in the dark waiting to hear them wake up. FYI they are now awake , you didn't hear her ear piercing scream? It would have woken the dead. She is feeding them with your Mum."

"How are you going to deal with this?"

He rolled off to the side when Quinn wiggled. Unless he was planning on getting jiggy with her he was heavy. "Don't you mean we?"

"Nope. I'm not breaking her heart, she loves me."

"She loves me too."

"She has to love you, you're her Daddy. She doesn't actually have to love me."

Alfie scoffed at her and told her she was talking bullshit then rolled away when he heard Addy stomping up the stairs. "Daddy. I cuddled kittens. They love me."

"I am sure they do."

"I go to the shops?"

"Not by yourself. You can't drive."

"cos my legs are too short?" They'd had this conversation many times.

"Who is going to the shops?"

"Me and Quinn's Mum and Dad. I go too?" She was hopping from foot to foot. Alfie knew better than to take her at her word. She once told him she was going out with Bug and it was news to his sister. As soon as he made a move to get up Addy shot out the door and into her room while he went down and checked that it really was Meg's idea and not Addy's.

"Is it okay if we take Addy with us?" Meg asked when Alfie appeared back downstairs.

"Well she's already getting dressed. Are you sure it's okay?" Alfie was worried that Addy was being a little too demanding. "She didn't invite herself did she? She has a tendency to do that."

"It's fine. We'd love to take her with us. We like to go for a coffee on a Saturday morning." Meg assured him. "She loved the kittens this morning and was so gentle with them. She wants to name them all."

"Typical."

Quinn bought her down, all ready to go. It would have to be the quickest she ever got dressed, although apparently her room looked like a bomb has gone off. Alfie reminded her to be a _'Djinda'_, and explained to Meg that it meant star in her mother's language.

"Will you look after the kittens?" She hugged her Dad as he helped her into her jacket and boots. He tugged the beanie down onto her head to make sure her ears were covered and asked for a kiss which Addy happily gave him. They come a long way since last winter when she refused to go outside.

"I think their Mummy will do that." Quinn just hoped that her parents didn't go mad with her and spoil her, that's not what Alfie wanted but she did love that they really seemed to like her and that Addy felt comfortable and confident with them as well. They suspected it was a promise to buy 'cat food' and some 'toys' for them that bolstered her confidence.

"So?" Alife's arm snaked around her waist as they pulled out of the driveway. "How long have we got?"

"A good hour."

As soon as they were through the door his hands were all over her. "Let's go warm up?"

They had certainly warmed each other up and they were both up and Quinn was cooking them some breakfast when they arrived home. Alfie didn't love the size of the bag Addy was lugging in. "What did you buy?" he groaned.

"Toys." She dumped them on the floor and showed him every single one of them. She had apparently bought a toy for every kitten and Misty and Tish as well. He asked Meg to let him pay for them but she refused.

"We've promised her that we will take photos of the kittens with their toys when they were leaving to go to their forever homes." Meg seemed completely unbothered by it. She was loving sharing the kittens with Addy and Joel just rolled his eyes. His wife was besotted already.

"Oh Adelaide." He sighed. "We'll never be invited back."

She bundled up the toys and Meg helped her take them down to the basement. "This one is for Petal."

"Who's Petal?" Alfie wasn't surprised that Addy was all over this.

Meg laughed. "I guess we now have a cat called Petal."

"Sorry."

Addy was lying prostrate and letting the kittens chew her hair and Alfie gave up. "Was she the perfect little lady?"

"Perfect. Alfie, she was lovely." Meg was worried that they had bought Addy a hot chocolate, she had insisted that her Daddy bought her one _'all the time'. _

"She loves them. Thanks for taking her out, she seemed to really enjoy it. I am not sure how I am going to convince her to leave tomorrow."

Meg and Quinn took her out to the markets in the afternoon to buy fruit and vegetables while Alfie and Joel stayed home watching a game. Quinn wasn't the least bit concerned about leaving her Dad at home with Alfie unsupervised. He hadn't exactly been a fan of her previous boyfriend and she never would have left them, but he seemed to like Alfie and Alfie was no shrinking violet, he was a big boy and could put up with some ribbing.

"Daddy, we home." She charged through the door. Her face was painted to look like a cat.

Alfie rolled his head back and called out to Quinn. "Hey Quinn, babe, what did you do with Addy?"

"I'm here Daddy, it's me Addy." She jumped up and down squealing. "It's me."

"Did you lose her?"

"Daddy, it's me Adelaide." She tugged on his hand. "Alfred, it's me. Surprise. I'm a cat. Meow."

"Oh…" he sighed dramatically, clutching his chest. "I didn't see you, I thought you were a cat and they forgot to bring my Addy home."

"We tricked you." Addy thought it was hysterical. Joel and Meg watched on and loved the delight in Addy and how much Alfie responded to her, he never blew her off or ignored her. He had told her to wait until someone had finished speaking a few times but he never told her she couldn't speak. "Quinn, Daddy thought you losed me."

"Your Daddy is silly sometimes. Isn't he?"

And then Tish went into labour just after dinner and Addy was ecstatic. She came bolting up the stairs when Meg discovered that Tish was about to give birth. "Daddy." She screeched, arriving at his side breathless with excitement while he was watching a game with Joel. "Daddy. Come quick, we need you."

"What Adelaide?"

"The kittens are being borned, right now. Come…" she tugged his hand. "…quickly. Hurry up. We neeeeeed you."

"Can I watch the end of the game?"

"Noooooo….." Addy stamped her feet and almost burst into tears; she was close to a complete meltdown. "….please Daddy come, they being borned now."

She dragged him downstairs, whispering at him to be quiet and she made him sit and Addy plonked herself in his lap and watched in amazement as Tish delivered her first kitten. She was bouncing in his lap with her hand clapped over her mouth trying desperately hard to stop herself from yelling out. "Daddy…" She whispered. "…look, a kitten, Is it okay?"

"It's fine Darlin', Momma's doing a good job. Just watch quietly."

Three hours later Addy was still sitting there, counting each kitten as it was born, providing commentary along the way in the cutest little whisper. At one stage she had six of Misty's kittens crawling around her while she was watching Tish have hers. Tish finally stopped at five and they were healthy and feeding well, Tish was doing a good job as a first time Mom.

Quinn had come down a couple of times to see what was going on. She bought Alfie a beer and she knew he would be loving this as well. He had spent seven hours one night sitting up watching a Lion give birth, this was right up his alley and he would love watching it with Addy.

"Okay Darlin'. Big night for you but it's time for bed." Alfie stood her up. "Say thank you and goodnight to Meg.

"I sleep here."

"Ahhh, no. Time to clean your teeth and into bed please. Tish needs some peace and quiet with her babies. You can see them in the morning."

She gave Meg a big hug which stunned her a little. "Thank you. I love them so much. I come back in morning. Will you wake me?"

"I will sweetheart. It's been lovely having you here. It's been very exciting hasn't it?"

"Can I call Pops?" Addy asked her Daddy as they headed upstairs.

"No, he's in bed already."

"Because he's old?"

"Yes Adelaide." He pushed her gently in the direction of Quinn to say goodnight and then she hugged Joel too but not before she gushed to both of them about the kittens.

"There are five, she's a good Momma." Addy sighed dramatically. "I just love them, so much."

Meg found Addy the next morning and she was back on the top step waiting for any sign of life before dawn. She went to check if she was awake and she wasn't in her bed. Addy hadn't bothered to go into her Dad's room when she woke, she headed straight for the basement apparently. Coming downstairs she heard some whispering and smiled, Addy was talking to the cats. "I'm just going to sit here okay? I be quiet but if you need me I will be right here." Meg stood at the top of the stairs and listened to her. She was the sweetest little girl. "I ask Daddy so I can stay, some more days. I think you need my help. It's very busy now with the babies. I think Meg might like that."

Meg warmed up some milk and grabbed a rug and took it down to Addy. She rugged her up and sat with her for a little while. "Are them okay?"

"I hope so Addy. In a little while we will go have a look but it's a little early. You can stay here if you like."

"I am so happy." Addy gushed. This had been her best weekend ever.

Addy got a little confused. Meg had told her that she could 'stay here' and she took it and ran with it. She woke her Daddy up when she asked if she could go for "coffee with Meg and Joel."

"You can't drink coffee, you are too little."

"Daddy, you silly." She rolled her eyes. "Can I go?"

"Were you asked or did you invite yourself?"

"They ask me, they like me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Meg said I can stay here. Okay? I have holiday here and stay with the kittens. Okay?"

"What?" That woke Alfie up. "Addy we are going home today."

She burst into tears. "Daddy I want to stay, Meg said I stay."

"Addy you are not staying here. Sorry sweetheart but we are leaving today."

"It's not fair." She threw herself face first onto the bed, shocking herself when her chin hit Alfie's knee and suddenly all hell broke loose. She wailed and it was no longer a cry because she did get her way but because she was hurt.

"Adelaide." Alfie pulled her into bed for a cuddle. He checked her mouth to make sure she wasn't bleeding. "Shhh, you are you okay?"

"I hurt Alfie." She sobbed. "I want to stay."

"I know you do, but you can't. We need to go home, Daddy needs to go to work, Quinn needs to go to work and you have pre-school." Alfie kissed her cheeks. "Now I thought you were going out for coffee."

"Oh…" she sat up suddenly. "… I go?"

"Of course you can."

It was ugly. Meg and Joel got to see the ugly side of Addy. Not that she was all that bad but she was devastated that they had to go and wanted to stay 'just one more day'. Meg promised to send her photos of the kittens every day and that perhaps Quinn would call her and she could watch them on the phone. They would let her know when they had the chance to have a look at Tish's kittens and find out if they were boys or girls. They had to say goodbye to them though, which was a long drawn out process, saying goodbye to eleven kittens and two cats was a serious and time consuming business and she thanked Quinn's parents for letting her come. She hugged both of them and Quinn could see how much her mother was already smitten with her. Her Dad saw it too.

Addy made them a card when she got home and asked Quinn to send it to them. Her Daddy wrote out what she wanted to say and Addy wrote her name very haphazardly and drew a cat and a heart, not that it looked anything like it but that's what she told Alfie she drew. _'Dear Meg and Joel, thank you for letting me stay at Quinn's house. I love all the kittens. I will come back soon. Lots of love Adelaide.'_


	54. The Wrong Foot

It was the worst timing possible. Addy had been up all night vomiting; she had an ear infection and Lola had written her a script for some anti-biotics which she had reacted badly to. Alfie had changed the sheets on his bed three times by the time the sun started to come up. "I sick Daddy." She moaned, standing naked and shivering in the bathroom after he stripped her off and tossed aside her third set of pyjamas.

"I know Addy."

"You stay here."

"I can't Darlin'." He had an Eye specialist booked in today and they had one shot at sedating the elephant and Addy being sick all night was the last thing he needed. "But I will be home as soon as I can. Lola Bear is going to look after you, she's a Doctor." He was dropping her off at Lola's on the way into work and would try and get back once the elephant was up on her feet again. Hopefully he'd be gone a few hours at most.

He called Quinn as soon as he got Addy dressed. Cramming his phone in between his ear and his shoulder he was packing a bag for her with as many clothes as he could get his hands on. Lola had told him to stop the medication and she should hopefully stop vomiting quite quickly after that. He hadn't had a spew for an hour but that hadn't instilled him with any confidence for the car trip. "You sound busy?"

"Busy and tired." He muttered, ushering Addy down the stairs. She was whining that she didn't want to go and wanted to come to work with Daddy. Any other day he would have called out sick or taken her with him but it just wasn't an option today. He did think of dropping her off with Quinn but her sister was arriving today and he didn't want to get off on the wrong foot. "Addy's been spewing all night."

"My poor baby, is she okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. Lola thinks it's the anti-biotics."

"Are you going to work?"

"Yeah, I need to, for a few hours at least, I've got the eye specialist coming. Addy's not happy as you can hear."

"Do you want to drop her off here?"

"No, Baby you've got your sister coming today. You don't this bucket of misery."

"I not misery Daddy, I sick." Addy protested as he tried to get her in the car.

"I know Addy." He buckled her in and gave her a towel and a bucket. "Spew in this if you need too." He had little faith in her using either but he had to try. It wouldn't be the first time she had spewed in the car.

"Alfie, I don't mind."

"It's okay, Lola is home today. I'd rather she spew all over Lola than your sister. Not the best first impression."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Baby. Have a nice day with Isla, I'll see you later."

"Don't worry about coming over, stay with Addy. We will catch up on the weekend."

"I'll see how she goes. Don't you want me to meet Isla?" Quinn was a little torn, she was pretty sure Isla wouldn't be all that welcoming to Alfie but she did want him to meet her sister because at the end of the day Isla was her only sibling.

"Of course I do. Addy comes first though. She's sick."

"I sick Quinn." Addy heard her name as Alfie started the car and it picked up the call through Bluetooth.

"I know sweetheart, that makes me sad. Is Daddy taking good care of you?"

"I spewed on Daddy in bed. Ed got sick too. He's in the wash." The news that Ed needed a wash went down like a lead balloon.

The meltdown had been epic; she howled at the visual of Ed spinning around in the washing machine, banging on the door pitifully but he was dripping in spew and he wasn't letting her hang onto it. She had her giraffe now, and it wasn't the same and she had told him that in no uncertain terms, even throwing the giraffe at him. Alfie just picked it up and handed it back to her. Addy had asked for Alfie's 'raffe but he refused. She wasn't spewing on that. They'd had an ugly half hour; she was wailing like a stuck pig and Pops had locked himself in his room.

Addy was a little more perky now but that just gave him a false sense of security. It could go south very quickly. "Daddy go to work I'm sad."

She certainly knew how to pile on the guilt. Being a single parent was challenging. It was times like this he found the hardest. He didn't want to leave Addy today; he would have spent all day cuddling up to her on the couch watching shitty TV shows if it made her feel better. He hated that she was sick, the only comfort he had was that she hadn't gone back to calling him Alfie or asking for her Mum. It was the first time she hadn't done that.

Even when she appeared at the side of his bed and woke him up. "Daddy I spew." She whined and had just spewed in her bed and Alfie managed to get up just before she spewed all over his bed. "Sorry Daddy."

"It's okay Darlin'." He took her through to the bathroom for the first time that night, quickly changed his sheets, got her into bed and cleaned up her bed as well. She was whiny and annoyed and hot and neither of them got much sleep. Waking up to her coughing and gagging was unpleasant and he had at least grabbed a few towels but she missed most of them.

Addy had a rough day. They stopped the anti-biotics so her ear infection flared up again and Lola tried to give her something else which she refused to take because it 'made her sick.' The screaming match was epic apparently and freaked Billy out too. Alfie had to talk to her several times before she started taking it and then she sat on the couch holding a bucket _'waiting to spew'_ all afternoon. Addy was miserable and when she was sick she made sure everyone else was miserable too. Even Sam wanted nothing to do with her.

Quinn wasn't surprised when he called to cancel dinner when he was on his way to pick her. "I'm sorry." He hated disappointing Quinn and although he knew she didn't get along all that well with her sister she was trying to make an effort. From the sound of it, it was always Quinn doing the compromising but he stayed out of it. "Sorry I'm cancelling dinner but Addy's not great."

"It's okay, I am not surprised. Is she getting better?" He had talked to her briefly earlier in the day and told her they were changing her medication.

"Well she seems okay but sat on Lola's couch all day threatening to vomit because of the meds. She didn't but she was almost willing it to happen to prove a point. She's just tired and grumpy and I can't really ask Bug to take care of her tonight. She didn't sleep all day because, according to Addy, sleeping made her spew. So I am assuming she's pretty revolting."

"She needs a good night sleep and lots of cuddles then."

Addy started whining the moment she saw her Dad. She wanted to go home, Billy was annoying her, Sam was looking at her, which was almost worse than Billy's behaviour. Worst of all Ed was trapped and missing her apparently. It was all very tragic. Iris had promised him that she'd got Ed out of the machine and hung him up to dry, even sending Lola a photo to show Addy but it wasn't good enough.

Isla was just listening. Quinn had been disappointed that her boyfriend was bailing on them tonight. "His daughter is sick; he's been up all night with her and I offered to look after her today while he was at work but she was at his sister's. She needs an early night."

"He doesn't let you look after her?"

"Of course he does. Lola's a Paediatrician, she's better off there." Quinn understood why Alfie wanted Lola to look after her particularly if she was having problems with medication. She also appreciated that he didn't want to ruin her day with Isla.

"So he just dumps her there and goes to work? When she's sick?"

"Well no.." Quinn started to get defensive. "What's your problem with Alfie taking care of his daughter tonight?"

"Nothing, you just seem quite low on his list of priorities. I think you deserve better."

"Better? Like what? Like you?" Isla flitted from one boyfriend to another without a care in the world. "I don't see anyone putting you first."

"I put myself first."

"So do I, I understand Alfie, I always have, he was honest and upfront about Adelaide. He is her only parent and he's doing a damn good job. He works hard to care for her, he helps take care of his elderly grandfather and he always takes care of me when I need it. He's sorry he can't make it tonight because Addy is unwell. I wouldn't want him to be away from her either because he would worry about her, he's been away from her for long enough today. Unlike you, he has a job with responsibilities. She's four years old and she's sick, she needs to be with her Dad." Quinn was tired. She didn't want to have to defend Alfie to her sister but she would if she had to.

Isla snorted. "Defensive much?"

Quinn felt her hackles rise. "I will defend Alfie, and Adelaide because I love them and I am happy and one day I really wish you'd just accept that I don't want the life you chose to live, I want this life I have."

"He will always choose her over you."

"He doesn't have to choose either one of us, it's not one or the other. He has a child, big fucking deal. I am not competing with Addy for his attention or his love. I don't need him to choose me over her. I need him to love me, and he does. He also loves his daughter."

"Okay." Isla held up her hands. "There is not point even talking to you right now. I just want to make sure you know what you are letting yourself in for."

"Because you know what this is like?"

"I have been out with guys who've had kids. It gets messy."

"What? Jayden, with the crazy ex who accused you of stealing money from her kid? That kind of messy? Lucky I don't have a crazy ex to deal with then."

"What about his family?"

"What about them? Three sisters, all great, all happily married and two of them have kids themselves, and a sweet old Pops who is the glue that held them together, that they all fuss over and adore."

"His parents?" Quinn only then realised that Isla knew nothing about Alfie.

"Dead. Have been for more than twenty years." Quinn was brutal. "Both killed in a car crash when he was seven years old and they were all bought up by his grandparents. One of which he helps look after to this day, so that he can stay in his home where he raised his two kids and four grandchildren."

"Oh…"

"You wish you had someone who cares about everyone else before himself like Alfie does." Isla just sat and shut her mouth as Quinn's voice quivered. "I am damn lucky to have found someone like him. Is it hard sometimes? Yes it is but I am lucky, damn lucky." She left the room, slammed her bedroom door and tried to calm herself. She knew Isla wouldn't even bother to come after her, she was stupid to think that this was going to be any different from last time, and the time before that.

Quinn said nothing to Alfie when she talked to him later that night. She had gone out for dinner with Isla like planned and neither of them mentioned anything about their argument. They talked about her travels, her plans and their parents. She was spending a few days in Chicago and then heading up to spend a week with them before flying out again.

"How was dinner?" He sounded like she had woken him up.

"Good. Way too healthy for you though. Not enough meat."

"Sounds nice."

"Is Addy asleep?" He had sent her a photo of her happily hugging Ed. _'Rescue mission complete. Huzzah!' _Addy looked so happy to have him back and she wasn't surprised to learn that they had both fallen asleep watching TV. Iris had woken him up and he had just taken Addy to bed when Quinn called. "How is she?"

"Much better, just tired now I think. The other meds have kicked in and no nasty side effects so far. I hope not, I really don't want to change my sheets again tonight. She's in my bed."

"I wish I was there." Quinn tried to cover the wobble in her voice. "I miss you."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing, I just really hate Addy being sick and not being there to help. You know, she's kinda wormed her way into my heart."

"Like her smokin' hot Dad?"

"Ha, whatever." Quinn scoffed at him. She could really use a hug from him right about now. Her sister had upset her and rattled her. It wasn't that she didn't trust Alfie's love for her or believe that they were doing really well together and had a future together but she would have liked him to hug her and tell her that he loved her, her sister had made her feel insecure and she hated that she always did that.

He instinctively knew what she needed though and he told her. "Hey, I love you Darlin'. I wish I was there with you right now. Addy and I miss you."

Isla was surprised to hear a knock at the door a little while after her sister left for work two days later, Alfie had spent the day home with Addy yesterday and while she was better she was tired and a bit of a nightmare. Her attitude left a lot to be desired.

Isla was stunned to find Alfie and his daughter on the other side, at least that's who she assumed it was. "Oh Hi. Umm, you just missed Quinn."

"I know, I talked to her already this morning. Addy and I thought we'd come and see if you wanted to have breakfast with us?" While Quinn hadn't said anything he got the sense that all was not well and her sister was giving her a bit of grief.

"Oh, sure." Isla stuttered a little and stood aside to let him in. The little girl looked a little shy but did smile. "You must be Adelaide." Isla bent down and shook her hand. "Quinn has told me all about you. I hope you are feeling better today?"

"Yes I am." She answered politely. Her Dad had reminded her to use her manners before they got here.

Isla straightened up and shook Alfie's hand next. "It's nice to meet you Alfie." It was a little stiff. She was thrown off by his arrival. He was a good-looking guy and she could see what attracted her sister. His smile was easy and warm, and he oozed confidence and she found that a little disconcerting. Alfie had put her on the back foot and it was a position she didn't particularly like.

"Is Quinn here?" Addy tugged on her Daddy's hand.

"No sweetheart, remember Quinn had to go to work."

"Oh, I miss Quinn."

"So do I, we'll see her later, we are going to stay here tonight." Addy cheered as he turned back to Isla. "I'm sorry I bailed on dinner, Addy wasn't well and she's a bit of a nightmare when she's tired and sick."

"I really enjoyed catching up with Quinn."

Exiting the building Alfie told her there was a nice new café just a few blocks walk. "They tell me it's got a lot of good vegetarian food. It's their speciality."

"I'm vegan."

"Yep, they've got that covered too."

Addy was quiet but she skipped along happily holding her Dad's hand while they chatted about her latest trip and where she planned to go next.

Alfie had already told Addy she couldn't have bacon with her breakfast but as per usual she rarely listened to him. "I have eggs and soldiers." Addy decided. "…and…" Alfie just shook his head but it was too late. "…and bacon. I Iove bacon, it's my favourite. It's your favourite too Daddy, isn't it?"

Alfie noticed Isla's slightly pinched looked. He had no issue with anyone eating or not eating meat or even being vegan, each to their own but be dammed if anyone was going to throw shade at him for what he fed his daughter or ate himself.

"No bacon, they don't have bacon here."

"Sausage?"

"Nope. Eggs and soldiers. I will get you some fruit too."

"Oh Alfred, this is not good." Addy sighed somewhat dramatically and Alfie struggled not to laugh.

"Isla?" Addy wiggled up onto her knees when her glass of milk arrived, she'd moved on from her disappointment about not getting bacon pretty quickly, probably quicker than Isla did. Although the milk didn't help either once Isla had ordered her almond milk skim Latte to go with Alfie's black coffee. "Did you sleep in my room? Did you like it?"

"I did."

"We buyed the new bed, didn't we Daddy." Pops had been amused by that and had insisted that he watch his grandson put it together. _'Your Dad was bloody useless; he was scared shitless because he broke your mother's bed tyring to slip one in quickly and I made him help with the new one. Your mother was wigging out and your uncle was as high as a kite on painkillers and started talking about blowjobs.' _Alfie had cringed, Addy was asking him what a blow job was, wondering if it was like blowing up a balloon. He just patted her hand and told her that is exactly what it meant. Pops was off on a tangent and it was hard to get him to stop these days. Once he started telling a story you had to hang on to the bitter end and do damage control later.

"We did." He nodded and smiled at Isla who was obviously less than impressed with him. He'd never had to work this hard to get someone to like him and he wasn't sure if he could really be bothered trying.

Alfie was mindful of not letting Addy monopolise the conversation, which she had the tendency to do. He was grateful when her breakfast arrived and she tucked into it with gusto. She hadn't eaten much the past two days and now she was feeling better her appetite had returned. Alfie had ordered her a bowl of blueberries on the side; they were her favourite at the moment and she scoffed them as well.

"She loves her room. She loves it when your parents come up and sleep in her bed. It's funny watching her tidy her room for them and leave them a present on the pillow. It's usually some abstract form of artwork but they either like it or certainly let Addy think they do."

"Your Mum has kittens." Addy informed Isla. "I wanted one but my Pops is too grumpy for a kitten. Have you seen Petal? I called her that."

"Not yet. My Mum does love her cats."

"I wasn't allowed to kiss them, was I Daddy? We don't kiss baby animals, only their Mum's kiss them, but I did cuddle them and they played with me." She sighed. "I miss them. Can we buy Petal a present Daddy? Isla can take it to her, I don't want her to forget me." Addy begged. "Please."

"If you eat all your breakfast." He scooped a couple of mushrooms and tomato onto her plate and laughed when she screwed up her nose. She happily ate the tomato but wasn't touching the mushrooms, she hated them.

"I don't like mushrooms Daddy."

"You haven't tried these ones."

"They look disgusting." She whined. "Do I have to eat them?"

"Mushrooms are my favourite, so yummy." Isla tried to encourage her by eating one herself and Addy put one in her mouth and just about gagged and spat it out. The last thing Alfie wanted was to make her sick, two days ago she was vomiting and making her gag did concern him.

"Yuck. It's disgusting." She spat it out then wiped her tongue and then took a big drink of milk.

"That's not very polite is it?" Isla admonished her and Alfie just glared at her. Addy looked a little shocked.

"Just finish your egg and tomato, you don't have to eat the mushrooms." He patted her hand and smiled at Addy. "Thanks for trying Adelaide."

Alfie seemed like a nice guy but that didn't stop her worrying about where Quinn fit into all this. She tried to ask and Alfie shut her down. "Do you mind if we don't talk about that while Addy is around? Some things she doesn't understand and she worries about things she shouldn't." It didn't endear him to Isla at all. It was two steps forward and one step back.

They walked back towards Quinn's apartment and stopped at a playground on the way home. Addy begged her Daddy to stop and was off like a rocket. "So, ask away?" Alfie crossed his ankles and leant back on the bench as he watched Addy climb up the slide in a flash.

"I just worry about Quinn; I worry she's giving up everything and you've given up nothing."

"Is that what she told you?"

"She's a romantic, she dreams of being wooed, wined and dined, a fairy-tale wedding, her own children." Isla shrugged "She was disappointed that you cancelled dinner."

"I was disappointed too. I didn't deliberately make Addy spew."

He noticed Isla pinched look and asked her what she wanted to know and wasn't expecting it to go where it did. "How can you not know you had a daughter, for three years."

"Is that your issue?"

"One of them, yes." Isla was at least honest. "What stops you walking away from Quinn and leaving her with a baby to raise. You know Quinn wants her own children."

"I do know that; you know we do talk. Is that what you think happened? I walked away from my ex? I'm not going to explain all the details to you because I am not sure you'd care and honestly it's none of your business but I can tell you that had I known about Addy my decision to move back to Chicago would have been completely different." Alfie tried not to sound pissed but failed. "Maybe I wouldn't be here right now, but I am here. Addy is here, she's not going anywhere, I am here in your sister's life and I love every minute of being with Quinn and nothing you do or say is going to change that."

Alfie watched as Addy ran towards him, her face red and puffing loudly. "Did you see me?"

"I did." He may have been busy trying to get Isla to understand but he hadn't taken his eyes off Addy either. "You climb like one of my koalas."

"Can you push me on the swing?" She tugged on her Dad's hand. "Please Daddy."

"Sure can." He turned to Isla. "Excuse us, I'm going to play with my daughter, if that's okay with you?" He probably didn't need to add that but she had pushed his buttons and Alfie was hoping that Quinn wouldn't be too annoyed with him but he got the feeling no matter what he said or did Isla wasn't going to approve.

She watched him from the bench. Addy was laughing and he pulled out his phone when it rang and he let Addy talk first. "Quinn, we are at the park. I am on the swing and Daddy is pushing me. Can you come?"

"I'm at work sweetie but I will see you later. You and Daddy are staying at my house tonight and I am very excited. I missed you." That wasn't sounding like a good idea to Alfie now but he wouldn't let Quinn down. He wasn't giving Isla any more ammunition to use against him. He also wanted to be a little bit petty.

"We had breakfast with Isla. Daddy buyed us breakfast."

"Did you?"

Quinn was surprised. "You did what?" she asked Alfie when Addy took off back to the swing. He helped her up into the seat and started pushing her. "Why would you do that?"

"I thought we'd take her out to breakfast to get to know her and apologise for bailing on dinner."

"Great."

"I am sure you will hear about it in minute detail." Alfie laughed awkwardly, Quinn seemed pissed at him and he wasn't really sure why. "I am not sure I've helped much. Sorry Baby."

"Probably not, so thanks for that?"

"You seem pissy. I was trying to do something nice."

"Yep, got that." Quinn wasn't surprised that Alfie tried to charm her sister and neither was she surprised that Isla still had a stick up her ass. She was also pretty sure she was about to hear all about it.

He helped Addy off the swing with the promise of a trip to the zoo. He wanted to check on Talia after her operation, he'd already had an update but he really wanted to lay eyes on her. Addy took off towards Isla. "We going to the zoo, do you want to come too?"

"No thank you Addy. I don't like zoos."

"It's my favourite place in the whole wide world." She flung her arms out wide. "It's like magic."

"I've seen all those beautiful animals out in the wild, where they belong."

"But they die, people do bad things to them."

"Maybe some, but many of them live happy lives with other animals like them. I think it's cruel to lock them up."

Alfie really starting to dislike Isla and he was pretty easy going, there weren't many people he didn't get along with. He didn't mind that people were opposed to Zoo's. What he hated was that she was showing so little respect to him, his job and to Adelaide. He'd dealt with people like Isla his whole life, but he'd never dealt with them with regards to his daughter and he didn't like the way it was making him feel.

Addy was on the brink of tears and if anything was going to piss him off was deliberately upsetting her. "Daddy loves them and he takes good care of them."

Isla looked at Alfie and saw how pissed he was. "I am sure he does."

"Bet you can't wait for that." He muttered under his breath. This had been a bad idea.

Alfie held onto Addy's hand as they walked home to get his car and didn't feel like talking to Isla right now, but that didn't stop her trying to push her views down his throat but she was happy to try anyway.

She was passionate about her beliefs, he had to give her that even if she just wouldn't let it go. "I guess we both have different passions." Alfie was barely listening to her anymore.

"We do, that's what makes the world tick." Alfie was done. "My passion is your sister, my daughter, my family and my job."

Alfie wasn't about to change or compromise who he was just to appease someone, who at this stage he didn't really like. He was who he was, he was a single dad, a zoologist who was passionate about what he did, a carer for an elderly man who he owed his life too and a guy who had fallen in love with an amazingly beautiful patient and caring woman. Right now his life was too good to be bought down by someone who didn't seem to like him for no particular reason.

He also wasn't about to make Addy change to make Isla like her either. Addy was happy, she loved to talk, she loved animals and the zoo was her favourite place on earth. Isla could like her or not, she could like how Alfie was raising her or not, it didn't matter to him. The only person he had any interest in appeasing was Quinn, she was what mattered to him.

After checking on Talia they decided to pick Quinn up from work. She usually caught the train to work so it was easy enough to swing by and catch her as she left. Addy climbed into the front seat once he had found a park outside and waited. He couldn't believe how full of beans she was compared to yesterday. Lola told him that once the anti-biotics had kicked in the bounce would be dramatic.

Addy was hanging out the car window screeching at Quinn. "Quinn, Quinn. We here Quinn, we come get you."

"Well this is a nice surprise." Addy hugged her through the window and then happily climbed into the back seat ready to be buckled in. Quinn leant through the front seats and strapped her in and completely ignored Alfie.

"Missed you." He demanded a kiss before they took off. "How was your day?"

Reluctantly she gave him a kiss. "Long."

She asked about the Zoo and Addy filled her in on Talia. The operation had gone well and she was up and about and showing no ill effects, which was a relief. Addy also delighted in telling Quinn about how spew came out her nose. "What did you feed her today?"

"Not bacon."

"So I heard… among other things."

"I guess Isla called you?"

"Yep, called, texted, sent a fucking bat signal."

"Awesome so you are pissed at me?"

"How'd you guess?"

He had the feeling he was going to be the bad guy in all this and he was a little pissed she wasn't even interested in his version of events. "Great, do you want me to take Addy home?"

"No Daddy, I stay with Quinn." Addy piped up from the backseat. "You promised I sleep with Quinn and you."

"It' fine. I want you to stay."

"Sounds like it."

"Please Daddy?"

"Okay, Addy we are staying at Quinn's but you might need to sleep in the car." He told her, desperately trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, you silly Alfred. That's illegal."

Isla was cooking dinner when they got home. "Hope you don't mind?" She was talking to Quinn but they all knew the question was directed at Alfie. He didn't really care if she was unhappy he was here or not.

"Not at all. Looking forward to it." Alfie felt like he had to try and make peace with Isla so that Quinn would relax. It was running off the rails quickly, dare he say it was heading for a fuckening.

"I am not sure Addy will like it. You can cook her something else if you like." Isla added. "I won't be offended."

"As long as it's not peas, beetroot or mushrooms she'll be fine."

"Chickpea and cauliflower curry. I did put a few mushrooms in, she won't notice. Hiding them in food can trick kids into eating them." They didn't trick Addy into eating anything, they asked her to try things, she either liked them or she didn't.

That grinded Alfie's gears and it took all his energy to be nice. "I haven't been able to trick her yet, she's smarter than that."

What the fuck? She was right there that morning when Addy talked about hating mushrooms and just about gagged when she put one in her mouth. He felt she was doing it to get him to react and he wasn't giving her that satisfaction nor was he taking parenting advice from Quinn's single hippy tree hugging sister.

Alfie was pissed and he took Addy for a shower before he said something and got her into her pyjamas. The tension in the house was noticeable and Quinn did start to wonder if she'd got the whole story today.

Isla couldn't help herself. "Addy is very cute. She seems really lovely, I thought she'd be a bit more…."

Quinn cut her sister off before she could finish her snide remark. "What? Fucked Up? She's a happy little girl."

"Alfie seems to care about her a lot."

It was a strange thing to say. "Of course he does, she's his daughter. What did you expect? He is a wonderful Dad to Addy, he's a sweet man." She may have been pissed at Alfie but she'd still defend him.

Addy came bursting into the lounge, surprisingly dressed in her pyjama's. Alfie had made her get dressed before she left the bedroom which was unusual, she would be out doing a nudie run given half the chance and Quinn usually helped her get dressed while Alfie had a shower himself and cleaned up after Addy. "Where's your Dad?"

"Cleaning up my mess."

Isla rolled her eyes when Quinn slipped off the stool and disappeared into the bathroom. "I think Quinn is going to help Daddy." She watched Addy climb up on the stool and prop herself up on her knees.

"Are you going to sleep in my bed again?"

"Yes, is that okay? Where will you sleep?"

"With Daddy and Quinn. Daddy likes it sometimes." Addy giggled. "He calls me a wiggly worm."

"I am sure he does."

Quinn leant on the doorframe and watched Alfie in the shower, he was a million miles away. "She's gone in two days, do you think you can keep your shit together until then?"

"Sure."

"She's my sister."

"I know, don't I know it, she keeps telling me." Alfie had just about had enough. "She keeps telling me what I am doing wrong, and what an asshole I am and judging by your attitude you seem to agree."

"Fuck you."

"I'd like too." Alfie watched her for a moment, he knew it would piss her off.

"You are such a fucking child sometimes.."

Alfie turned off the taps and grabbed the towel to wrap around his waist. "You know what? I love you."

"I know."

He stopped in front of her, dripping wet and probably got a little too close to her. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and knew that he was getting to her in ways that he loved to do. "You are what matters to me, you. I love you." The kiss left her breathless. He had this insane ability to turn her brain to mush.

He wasn't surprised to see Addy up at the bench talking Isla's ear off. "Adelaide, are you talking too much?"

"Yes."

"Thought so? Do you want to talk to Pops?" She clapped happily and waited for Alfie to grab his phone as he explained to Isla that "She talks to him every night if we aren't home."

He propped the phone up in front of her and Addy was leaning on her elbows waiting for him to answer. "Hi Pops." Her excitement to talk to Pops never waned. "Are you okay?"

"I am Darlin'." Adam loved the call and would wait for it. "How are you today? Have you had a good day? Do you feel better?"

"We did, we were very busy. We went and saw Talia and she is so good now. She's all better and can see so she doesn't fall over anymore. Daddy saved her." Alfie really was her superhero.

"That's good."

"I am helping Quinn's sister cook dinner." Although Addy's idea of helping people cook was to sit and talk their ear off.

"What are you cooking?"

"You won't like it Pops, it's got no meat."

"Oh dear, that's not good. Will you be okay?"

"It's okay Pops, I try my best. Isla is very pretty, like Quinn. I think she likes me; she is sleeping in my bed."

"Where are you going to sleep? In the car?"

"No." she laughed. "That's silly. She doesn't like Daddy though." Alfie cringed. Trust Addy to make things awkward and he didn't bother looking at Isla because he hoped she felt awkward enough anyway. Not that he cared, she wasn't making an effort so why should he. He was getting close to peak pettiness, something he'd learned from growing up with three girls.

"Well I don't like your Daddy some days too."

"Oh Pops…" Addy groaned. "..I love him."

"I know you do Darlin'."

"Is Bug cooking dinner?" Addy chatted to him for a few more minutes, just checking that he was okay and that he wasn't missing out on dinner. "I miss you, I love you Pops, don't miss me."

Alfie took him off speaker and had a chat to him for a few minutes before he hung up. "Well that was sweet." Isla tried to make it seem less weird. Addy had climbed down and was dragging out a puzzle to do. She still loved puzzles and could spend an hour trying to finish it.

"It is. She loves her Pops. I think he might be her favourite person." Alfie grabbed himself a beer. "He was waiting for us at the airport when we arrived back for the first time, he was so excited to meet her and they've been as thick as thieves ever since."

"That must have been nice."

"He's a special guy."

"Quinn says he bought you up."

"Yeah, I guess. I mean from when I was seven, I do remember my parents a little, my little sister Bug doesn't remember them at all. She was about the same age as Addy was when her mother passed away so they kinda have that between them, Pops is just this awesome rock for her."

"Your parents called your sister Bug?"

"No, they called her Iris." Alfie snorted which didn't go down well judging by the death stare he got. "…we call her Bug. Always have, from the time Mum was pregnant with her. It just stuck."

"Your family seems really important to you."

"My family is the most important thing in my life. I wouldn't be here without them."

"Do they like Quinn?" Isla was not going to die wondering that's for sure and he shouldn't have been surprised. Quinn asked whatever popped into her head most of the time as well. "I know how sister's sometimes make things hard for a girlfriend, especially since you are the only boy."

"We are not what you'd call typical. I think they like her more than me most days. They get pissy with me if she doesn't come to dinner." Alfie had just about had enough. "I think you should stop worrying about Quinn, my family loves her, my daughter loves her and I love her. We are really happy and that's all my sister's care about and I'd hope that would be important to you too, that Quinn is happy? I know how to treat women, I know how to treat Quinn, my sisters and my Pops would kick my ass if I didn't treat her right, if that's another one of your issues?"

"No, no issue. Just want my sister to be happy too."

"Great, then we are on the same page." He tapped the side of his bottle a little angrily and lowered his voice. "So we can drop it? You are upsetting Quinn and I don't like that." He stepped out of the kitchen when Quinn came out of the bedroom after having a shower.

Addy didn't love dinner, she tried it but Alfie noticed she was just sitting at the table playing with it. "She doesn't have to eat it." Isla didn't even look at him. "If she doesn't like it, as I said I'm not that easily offended."

"Addy needs to new try things, that's the rules."

"I tried Daddy." She burst into tears. "I don't like it."

"Fine. Don't eat it then." He snapped. "I'll make you something else."

"Can I have Mac and Cheese?" She blubbered. Quinn rubbed her arm tyring to let her know it was okay. The only reason Alfie snapped at her was because Isla had made him feel bad about Addy not eating what she had cooked. "Please?"

"Sure." He jumped up to make her some dinner. She had tried it, she always did but he couldn't blame her for not liking it, it was pretty bland. He was being polite but he'd kill for some of the Mac and Cheese that Addy was about to get, and he didn't even like the stuff.

"I tried to make it bland so Addy would like it, I know how fussy kids can be." Isla explained. "It's usually better than this, you were missing a few ingredients too."

"She's not fussy." Alfie muttered under his breath. Sure when she first arrived getting her to eat had been a challenge but generally Addy ate whatever they gave her.

"Addy loves all sorts of foods, we don't usually change much for her." Quinn tried to ease the tension a little while Alfie was cooking her dinner. He found some chorizo in the fridge and fried it up to add to it, basically just to piss Isla off, she was goading him and he could be just as petty.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to Quinn. "It's got mushrooms." Alfie heard her and wanted to say I told you so but bit his tongue.

"It's okay sweetheart. You tried it, that's all we ask. Daddy's making you something now."

Isla apologised when Alfie bought Addy's dinner over. He made her sit back in her chair after she had asked Quinn for a hug, to finish her meal. He wasn't going to apologise for Addy because that would just upset her even more. "Well you saw her reaction to mushrooms this morning, I'm surprised you put them in." He snapped. He'd had enough. He was pretty sure she left that little bit of information out when she obviously gave Quinn her detailed description of the morning. He wasn't about to let it go though, he was being petty and he'd been taught by the best.

"They are disgusting." Addy screwed up her nose. "I put them in the bin."

Alfie winked at her and that at least made her smile. "Yes you do."

Addy ate her dinner, making sure she ate every bit of chorizo and politely asked to leave the table and took her plate over to the sink. She dropped the fork half way and when she bent down to pick it up the last few pieces of macaroni slid off the plate onto the floor. "Oh bugger." She muttered and Alfie tried to hide his smirk when Isla looked like she'd sucked a lemon. Dropping the plate into the sink with a clatter Alfie thanked her.

Addy was happy to play while the girls finished another glass of wine before Addy was made to clean her teeth and come say goodnight.

"I think I've scared him off?" Isla joked when Alfie didn't come back right away. They cleared up the dishes and settled into the lounge. Isla sat back while Quinn tidied up Addy's toys.

"I doubt it, he's probably reading her a story. She will try and get as many books as possible out of us."

"You look like you love this."

"I do love this. I love having them here."

"Do you think they will move in?"

"Here? I doubt it, it is too small for the three of us. Addy really loves playing outside and she has a big yard at her house. It wouldn't be fair to bring her here to live." Quinn didn't really want to get into it, they had talked about it and they were just working through the logistics. "There is a lot to work out."

"Such as?"

"His family, his Pops. It's complicated."

"Guys like to stall as much as possible. They like their space and your space; they just freak out at the thought of it being 'our space.' It's like they see it as a trap or something." Isla used air quotes and laughed despite her sister's withering stare.

"Well since 'his' space includes Addy, his sister, her boyfriend and his Pops, it's not really the same thing is it?" Quinn snapped.

"Sorry." Quinn just glared at her; she was a nanosecond away from telling her to fuck off but Alfie came out so she swallowed it.

He grabbed himself another beer and topped up their glasses. Quinn looked annoyed but Alfie wasn't so sure if it was with him or her sister so he ignored it. "Addy's asleep?"

"She is, it was a task. She's way too excited about sleeping with us and she has plans for you in the morning Isla, just so you know."

"Should I be worried?"

"Potentially. I promised not to ruin her surprise. Like pinky promise, so sorry my lips are sealed."

"Sounds serious?"

"A pinky promise with a four year old is an iron clad agreement." Alfie winked at Quinn when she smiled at him, he'd felt a shift in her since dinner. "I don't make the rules." She had no idea what they were up too, sometimes it was better not to ask.

"What are you up to?" Quinn tried to ask him when they were cleaning their teeth ready for bed. She was worried it was all going to go horribly wrong. Call it dread, she had a sense of dread.

"It's Addy's surprise."

"Try not to be fucking be a dick about it." Suddenly pissy Quinn was back and he had no idea why.

He threw his toothbrush back. "Sure." One thing he never did was go to bed with kissing her goodnight and telling her he loved her. Tonight it was hard to do and he was grateful that Addy was with them. Otherwise he felt like it was going to get ugly.


	55. Vegan Fuckin' Hippy Shit

"Daddy, are you awake?"

"No."

"Oh, okay." Addy lay quietly between them for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do. Then she started to fidget, talk to her echidna and when she started to sing they knew it was over.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Adelaide."

"Can I get up now?"

"Yes you can." She scrambled out of bed and Alfie wriggled over to cuddle up to Quinn, he'd missed her despite sleeping in the same bed. They got precious little time together as it was. He really needed to take her up to the Beach House again and get naked with her for a weekend, although right now that would probably be low on her list of priorities like he seemed to be. She didn't move and didn't even acknowledge he was there.

Addy obviously went to the bathroom and then came back. "Daddy, I need some help."

"With what?"

"Isla's surprise."

"I want to cuddle Quinn."

"She's sleeping. Leave her alone." Quinn did her best not to laugh so he knew she was awake and Alfie groaned as he rolled out of bed reluctantly and cursed agreeing to help Addy last night. Quinn's laugh proved that she wasn't completely pissed off with him it seemed.

Quinn could hear them in the kitchen, she was pretty sure Isla could too, they weren't exactly quiet and she did wonder how this was going to play out, she had her doubts but she'd cooled off a little and could see he was trying. As frustrating as it was cooking with Addy, Alfie was very patient with her when she wanted to do it all herself.

Alfie quietly knocked on Isla's door and she waited until she answered. Opening the door he let Addy in, carefully carrying her breakfast on a plate. "I made you breakfast." She chirped. Alfie just stood at the door and watched Addy, she looked so pleased with herself. "It's pancakes."

Proudly she presented the plate of pancakes, laden with haphazardly chopped bananas, blueberries and raspberries. They had lost a couple on the way and Alfie did consider picking them up and throwing them back on the plate but he wasn't that petty. "It's vegtari-egan." Addy tried to spit it out.

"Addy Darlin', I think you meant vegan." Not only were they vegan they were gluten free too because that apparently was a new development according to Quinn, Isla had recently discovered a gluten intolerance or as Quinn sniped at him after she had dinner with her sister when Addy was sick, a 'hippy fucking trendy need to be a fucking pain in the ass.' intolerance. He was constantly amused by her rants, they were very Ruzek-like.

"Vegan." She leant against the side of the bed and watched Isla. "Do you like it? I made them, with my Daddy. He help me."

"Thank you Addy, that's very nice of you. They look delicious."

"Also gluten free in case you were wondering." Alfie added, smiling sweetly. "Addy, how about we leave Isla in peace to eat her breakfast."

"I want to stay."

"It's okay Alfie, she can stay." Isla could see why her sister had fallen in love with Adelaide.

"Are you sure? She can be annoying in the mornings."

"I'm not annoying Daddy, I'm happy."

"Yes you are, adorably happy. That's why we love you." Alfie never missed a chance to tell Addy he loved her. He wanted her to have no doubts about it. He knew his parents loved him, they told them all constantly and that was one thing he clung to as he grew up without them.

He took some through to Quinn, Addy had insisted that she make her breakfast also but was too distracted now to take them into her. Alfie decided she needed to experience the whole thing as well. She took one mouthful and screwed up her nose. "These taste like shit."

"Yes, yes they do, because they are Vegan fucking hippy shit."

"The things you do surprise me."

"Baby, I'm just trying to get laid." Alfie disappeared into the bathroom with a devilish laugh. He wasn't going to change who he was just because she was pissed with him.

She set the plate aside and settled for the coffee instead. "This isn't doing it."

"You break my heart. Maybe later?" He winked as he came back out already dressed. She knew he had to go into work for an hour or so to check on Talia. He was going to take Addy with him because he didn't want be accused of dumping Addy. Quinn told him not to be so stupid, if Addy didn't want to go she was happy to have her stay. Kneeling on the bed he gave her a sweet kiss.

"Adelaide." He had called her several times before eventually knocking on Isla's door and finding Addy tucked up in bed watching some videos with Quinn's sister. "I've got to go see Talia, are you coming?"

"No thank you Daddy. We watching videos."

"What are you watching?"

"Silly Kittens."

"Okay. Quinn is just having a shower, then you need to get dressed okay?" He waited until Addy answered him and nodded at Isla. He noticed that she had only eaten half her breakfast and offered to take her plate. He reminded Addy that she hadn't had breakfast yet and to make sure she ate something. She wasn't particularly nice when she was hungry and was still on antibiotics and needed to eat when she took them.

Quinn was cleaning up Alfie's mess in the kitchen when Addy and Isla came out of the bedroom. She made Addy some normal pancakes and sat her up at the bench, Addy had no idea that her pancakes were different, she had been proud of her work and thought they were all eating the same thing and had Alfie cheekily reminded Quinn that perhaps she could force feed some to her sister for shits and giggles.

"Did you like the pancakes I made?" She asked Quinn.

"I did, thank you sweetheart, they were delicious."

Isla snorted. "You ate them?"

"Yes I did, Addy did a great job."

"I did, I tried hard, we made them from vegetables." She still didn't get the vegan thing. "I made bananas too with a knife. Daddy watched me."

"It was such a lovely thing to do Addy." Quinn patted her hand and glared at her sister. She'd just about reached her limit with Isla but this had been building for years.

"Thank you for trying Addy. You did a good job." Isla refused to acknowledge that Alfie had made it all happen and that annoyed Quinn, she could barely say his name.

"Addy and Alfie did a great job."

"Of course." She was so dismissive of him and she didn't understand why. She was starting to see why Alfie had been annoyed with her and she regretted taking Isla's version of events as gospel.

"What is your problem?" Quinn exploded. "He's trying which is more than I can say for you. He got up early and help make you god damn gluten free vegan pancakes for breakfast and you still aren't happy. Do you think he had to do that?"

"I didn't mean I didn't appreciate it; they just weren't great." She screwed up her nose and laughed a little, trying to make a joke out of it.

"Did you not like them?" Addy's lip quivered, she was devastated and Quinn was surprised by how that was making her feel, she hadn't really experienced this with Addy. She knew she didn't like it when Addy was sick or hurt but she'd never had someone be mean to her and make her feel bad before. "I'm sorry. I tried really hard."

"Thanks very much Isla." Quinn turned to Addy. "They were great Addy, I loved them and Daddy ate them too. We love that you wanted to make us all something special. You are such a sweetheart."

"Vegan can be hard to do; some people don't realise what it involves. I hope he didn't use butter?" Isla smiled sweetly. "And gluten is hidden in everything. I guess I will find out soon enough if there was gluten in it."

"I can't with you." Quinn actually started to cry and she hated herself for letting herself get sucked in again and treat Alfie like shit for this. "He fucking checked every god damn thing. He's not a fucking idiot. Why do you hate him?" Addy was a little shocked, she never heard Quinn get angry and it frightened her.

"Stop Quinn, I don't like it." Addy whined. "I call Alfie." It was like a knife to Quinn's heart.

"Quinn, don't be so dramatic." Isla rolled her eyes. "I said I appreciated it. They just weren't great, cooking gluten free and vegan is hard for beginners."

"Just stop. Stop." She fled the room, which upset Addy even more. She didn't know what to do so she cried too and ran after Quinn.

"Quinn, don't cry." Addy was stressed, she couldn't cope with Quinn's crying. "I call Alfie. I want Alfie."

That hurt Quinn, she hated that Addy was caught up in it all. She wished that she had gone with her Daddy now. "No, it's okay Addy. Let's not call Daddy. He's busy at work."

"Alfie will come home soon? I ask Alfie to come back. He will fix it."

"When Daddy gets home we will all go out somewhere nice." They loved to do something with Addy on the weekend if Alfie wasn't working before they had dinner with his family. Sometimes it might be a bike ride, a trip to the park, the aquarium, a museum or even just out for afternoon tea.

Isla was in cleaning up in the kitchen when Quinn came out. "I think you should go." She told her sister coldly. "If you can't respect me, or Alfie or his daughter in my house then you are not welcome here."

"Quinn, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Yes you did, you always do. I am never good enough for you, you are never happy for me. I don't know what you are trying to do here, do you want me to be as bitter and lonely and miserable as you? You know what, I am not, I am happy, I love my life with Alfie and Addy and I don't give a fuck if you like that or not."

"It's got nothing to do with me not wanting you to be happy."

Quinn just ignored her. "What hurts the most is you upset Addy… she is four." She waved her hands in the direction of the bedroom, Addy was sitting up on the bed listening to music. "… she was so excited last night to make you breakfast, she got her Dad up early, which he did without complaint to do something nice for you because Addy wanted to make you happy and you just crushed her. Do you know how upset she is?"

"Not as much as you."

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare tell me that she is not upset. You've got no idea." Quinn knew how stressed Addy was the moment she asked for Alfie and it took her a lot of cajoling to get her to stay in the room so Quinn could talk to her sister without Addy hearing anymore of it, she didn't want Quinn to go or cry anymore. "She wants to call him to come home. She gets anxious and it's your fault."

"She's a kid and you are over reacting."

"And you are a bitch. I don't need this; I don't want you around Addy." Quinn spat at her. "Or Alfie. And right now, I can't stand to look at you."

Quinn quickly got Addy dressed and took her down to the park. She needed to get out of the house. Addy had heard enough, it upset Quinn when Addy called her Dad Alfie because she knew what that meant and she felt like it was her fault. There was no way Alfie would blame her for what she had been dragged into but that didn't make her feel any better. Quinn knew how much he hated it when Addy got anxious, it could knock her around for days.

She spied Alfie jogging towards them, Quinn had let him know that she had taken Addy out and he just assumed it was the three of them so was a little surprised that it was only Quinn and Addy at the park. "Hey pretty lady, can I have your number?" He dropped a kiss on Quinn's head.

"Yes, yes you can."

"Oh yay. It's my lucky day." He took over pushing Addy on the swing. Quinn asked him about Talia just so that he didn't ask about her morning. He knew her well enough to tell she was upset but right now she wasn't talking about it.

"Do you mind if I head back? You can stay here with Addy for a bit, she's having fun."

Alfie reached for her hand. "Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing, Isla is just packing ready to leave for Mom and Dad's."

He tugged on her hand again and pulled her close. Placing a sweet little kiss on her lips he noted that she just sighed a little. "I love you." He watched her go and something about the way she walked bothered him.

He had every right to be worried especially when Addy told him that Quinn cried and sad bad words to Isla. More precisely she said 'Pops' bad word. "Why?"

"She didn't like my pancakes. Quinn was angry, she cried. I tried to make her happy again Alfie." He was furious. He didn't need to know the whole story, finding out that Quinn was crying was enough for him. She had done nothing but try to keep the peace and keep her sister happy and it obviously wasn't good enough for Isla. He didn't really care that she didn't like him, it didn't make a scrap of difference to him but upsetting Quinn and Addy was way too far. He didn't miss that Addy called him Alfie either.

"I thought our pancakes were the best. Quinn loved them; she didn't want to share them with me she loved them so much."

"Really?"

"Yep, they were delicious."

Addy wanted to go home. "Alfie, we go see Quinn? She's very sad. We need to fix her."

"Thank you for looking after Quinn for me." Alfie swung her up onto his shoulders. "Let's go."

"He's obviously just looking for a mother for his kid." Alfie could hear Isla before they even got in the apartment.

"Fuck you." Quinn was angry. "Fuck you. You've got no idea. You've been here three fucking days and you've made up your mind. What the fuck would you know about me or my relationship with Alfie? You don't know me; you are never fucking here and when you are you insist on telling me all the things that I am doing wrong. Get the fuck out of our house."

"Are you seriously telling me you are okay with being put last? Behind his daughter, his family, his job? He will always pander to her and you are too."

"I can't with you. How dare you question how we raise Addy? She is four and she is his daughter and I will help Alfie raise her and love her and protect her every single god damn day from people like you." Quinn was hysterical and Alfie literally ran the last few steps.

"Get out." Alfie's sudden appearance made Isla jump. "Get out. You can leave now. You've upset Quinn and that pisses me off. I don't care if you don't like me, but treat your sister with the same level of respect that she gives you." He would always stand up for those that he loved, he'd done it his whole life. "You've done nothing but make her feel like she is not good enough and let me tell you something, she is ten times the person you are. It takes an amazing person to come into the life of a little girl, who by the way had been through more than you could ever imagine and make her feel special and loved and safe, I honestly don't think you would stand a snowballs chance in hell of being half as amazing as your sister is. How dare you come into our house and act like you know better and question our relationship. I love your sister, that should be enough for you."

"It's not your house Alfie."

"I feel sorry for you." He cut her with her eyes and Isla shrunk away from him a little, he was imposing when he was angry. "I feel sorry for you that you are that lonely and bitter that you can't stand to see your only sister happy. I feel sorry for you that you can't see the love in this house because I can tell you it's pretty fucking incredible. I just feel sorry for you to be honest."

"Alfie." Addy was clinging to his leg, she hated this and it was killing Alfie listening to her desperation. "Alfie, pick me up."

He put his hand on Addy's head to try and comfort her. "Now, you have completely broken your sister's heart and I won't let you continue to do that and you are upsetting Addy. So leave. Now." He held the door open for her. "If you've forgotten anything we will send it to your parent's house. You are welcome back here anytime you decide to treat your sister with the respect she's earned and deserves."

By the time Alfie shut the door Addy was hysterical. "Adelaide, it's okay baby." He knelt down and hugged her. "Let's go give Quinn one of your hugs."

She was just standing there, utterly distraught and Addy ran to her as Quinn sat down heavily on the couch and wrapped her up in her arms and buried her head into his little girls neck, it would be sweet if it wasn't so devastating. Alfie hated seeing them both in tears. "This is killing me." He muttered angrily. He knew they had a strained relationship but he didn't expect it to be quite so bad.

"It's okay Addy." Quinn stroked her hair back from her forehead. "Please don't cry sweetheart, Daddy and I don't like that."

"You know that's bullshit right?" Alfie was worried that Quinn would start to worry about what Isla accused him of. He sat on the coffee table in front of them both and rested his hands on her knees. "You are not the bottom of my list, not by a long shot."

"I know. She's just a screwed up old hag." Quinn sobbed. "I'm sorry I let her get to me."

"It's okay Darlin'."

"It just hurts you know."

"Yeah I do. But hey, you and me, we are okay."

Quinn sighed and looked at him, her eyes were red rimmed and puffy from crying. "You know what really hurt; when she upset Addy. Alfie, that hurt so much. All you did was try and do something nice for her and she just kept shitting on you and on Addy and I hated it. It made me so angry."

"Quinn." Alfie waited until Quinn looked at him. "The only reason I was playing nice was to make you happy, not Isla. I don't care Quinn, I care about you, I care about Addy. Right now that's all that matters to me. You are my two favourite girls in the whole world."

"I was stupid to think this time would be any different."

Alfie ran his hand down her cheek and under her chin, Addy was hanging around her neck. "Not stupid, that's family. Darlin', I love you, probably more than yesterday to be honest and I'll love you more tomorrow because that's the way it is." The only thing he liked about this whole debacle was the fact that Addy was clinging to Quinn, usually when she was upset she gravitated towards Alfie for comfort.

"Me too?" Addy didn't want to miss out on the love.

"Yes Adelaide, you too. Daddy and Quinn love you more and more every day." He jumped up and pulled them both up off the couch. "Right, time for a great big hug. All together. My two favourite girls in the whole wide world. And ice-cream….who's up for Ice-cream?"

"Me." Both of them cheered, Addy was obviously a lot more enthusiastic about it than Quinn was but she appreciated that he was trying to move on. It wasn't exactly Ice-cream weather but Addy loved it any time of the year.

Quinn bailed on dinner; she just didn't think she could cope with the happy family scene tonight. Addy begged her to come but it was too much for her and they promised to come back after dinner and stay another night. "I can sleep in your bed again to cuddle you? That will make you feel better."

"It's okay Sweetheart, as long as you are both here I will be okay. You can sleep in your bed and Daddy will look after me."

"Will you read me a story?"

"Of course I will, I'll read you two if you want." Quinn beckoned her in for kiss. "I love you so much Adelaide. You and your Daddy stole my heart."

"I didn't mean it." She looked worried and that at least made Quinn smile.

"Oh Adelaide, having your heart stolen by you and your Daddy is the best feeling in the world."

Alfie had barely got through the door when Lola was onto him. She'd already talked to him yesterday and knew it wasn't going well. "Where is Quinn?" She'd kill Alfie if he'd been an asshole.

"At home, she's had a big few days."

"Is her sister still in town, you should have bought her."

"Isla doesn't like Daddy, they sweared." Addy helpfully bought the shit fight to dinner. Now that things had calmed down Addy was more than happy to share the drama; she did love a good dramatic act. "Quinn said Pops bad word at Isla….like a lot. Daddy did too. Lots and lots and lots."

"Thank you Adelaide. You can go now, go find Sam and Poppy." He pushed her towards the lounge room where the kids were playing. She had been helpful enough already. They had spent the afternoon snuggling up with each other and watching movies after they had let Addy ride her bike down to get an ice-cream. It wasn't her best skill and she was slow enough that they could walk along behind her. Several times Alfie had to catch her as she started to wobble to keep her from tumbling off but she was determined to do it herself.

"What happened?"

"She just doesn't approve of her sister's lifestyle choices."

"What does that mean?" Mae wanted to know. Suddenly he felt like he was in the middle of a Spanish inquisition. All he really wanted was a beer and to go top up his testosterone with Riley, George and Colt. Hell, he'd even take Sam and Billy at this stage. He was done with females for the moment.

"Well me and… she's a vegan."

"Oh…" Mae nodded. "Explains a lot. So she's a nut-job?"

"Yep. A gluten intolerant vegan I might add. Addy and I made these crappy cardboard tasting vegan pancakes this morning and then she left."

"That bad?"

"Well they were vegan and gluten free, what do you think? They were fucking terrible. It wasn't pretty. Quinn just wanted a bit of time to herself. She's okay, Addy and I are going back after dinner and will stay there tonight."

"Next time she's in town, bring her along. We'll make you seem like Jesus Christ re-incarnated." Mae did love a good evil plot.

"Yeah right, she already thinks I'm a dick, having you all let loose on her would make her take out a restraining order on Quinn's behalf. Pops would probably handcuff her to the table and force feed her a juicy steak and a piece of bread."

"How cool would that be?" Iris was all for it.

"You know, you mob actually seem normal compared to her. I can't see her coming back anytime soon."

"I think we just got a backhanded compliment." Lola was amused. She did know how much Alfie wanted Quinn's sister to like him and Addy. He was so in love with Quinn and he'd been nervous meeting her parents and they had been great. Isla was his last hurdle and it had gone to shit.

"Can we drop it? Addy was upset about it and I don't want her to hear it all again." Alfie was glad Quinn wasn't here. "It's between Quinn and her sister."

Quinn was curled up on the couch watching some mindless TV when they got home. She took Addy to bed like she promised and read her a story while Alfie stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes. He was tired, it had been exhausting and Addy hadn't exactly been the best bed partner last night and he was still catching up from the few nights he dealt with Addy being sick. It was nice to have the place to themselves again and spend some time alone though and he couldn't wait for her to get Addy to sleep and come cuddle up with him.

Coming back in she stretched out in front of him and appreciated Alfie held her tight. "How was dinner?"

"Relatively quiet. Pops told me off."

"Why?"

"Because I left my 'better bit' at home alone." Alfie laughed. "I told you he loves you more than me."

"He's so sweet."

"Yep. Do you want to talk?"

"No, not right now." She kissed his forearm which was resting under her cheek. It was a soft little kiss followed by a small lick, she nipped his skin and sighed when he ran a hand up her leg under her dress. "I want some love."

Alfie kissed her neck while his hand roamed over her hip and she moved her legs, rolling forward a little giving him a little more room to move. "Really?" Quinn just relaxed and he did all the work. His breath was hot on her neck. "I love you baby."

"Alfie." She made it quite clear what she wanted and they ended up on the floor and he made her feel loved and adored. They didn't do this a lot because of the fear that Addy would appear from nowhere but they got carried away in the moment.

"Nothing's changed Darlin', nothing. You are my world and I am happy with you in my life." He made her look at him. "And I didn't go looking for a Mum for Addy, I just wanted someone to love me."

"I know." Quinn kissed him softly. "And you found her."

"Please don't worry and I know what that was about…" he was referring to the sex they'd just had. "…you wanted to feel loved by me and you are. I will do anything to show you how much, anything." She cried on his shoulder. It had hurt her; the whole weekend had been a slap in the face and he hated that. "My sweet sweet Darlin'."

"I really wanted it to go well, I know we are not that close but I really thought now that we are older, you know we could get along." She sobbed. "I look at you and Lola and Mae and Bug and I am jealous. I wanted that too."

"But look what we went through to get that, I don't want that for you. I'm jealous of you too."

"Why?'

"Because you have a Mom and a Dad who love you and you can pick up the phone and call them or go see them. I wish I had that. I get the good sisters; you get the alive parents." He kissed her shoulder and lingered for just a moment as the feeling of despair passed through him.

"Oh Alfie, I'm sorry."

"It is what it is." He never quite knew when that hopeless feeling would come over him. "We've both got a little bit of shit to deal with."

"A bitch of a sister is nothing is it?"

"Well it is to you. Just remember one thing. I'm in love with you, not your sister." He squeezed her around the waist. "And you also have this four year old bucket of sunshine who thinks you walk on water."

"Good to know." She smiled just a little. "Hey Alfie?"

"Yep?"

"Those pancakes were shit."

"They were weren't they." He screwed up his nose. "You know Addy dobbed on you tonight. She told them that you said Pops bad word…'a lot.' You are Pops hero."

"I did. She deserved it."

"That she did. Now, my delicate male ego was bruised. You need to fix it."

"Let me guess, first woman not throwing herself at you?"

"You didn't either."

"I cooked you breakfast, I didn't do it because I was being a cheap date."

He pushed her up off his lap and held out his hand so that Quinn could pull him up off the floor. "You were desperate to get your hands on my package?"

"Not as desperate as I am right now." Quinn smiled sweetly as he dragged her into the shower. They certainly made up for having the cockblocker in bed with them last night.

When they made it into bed Quinn got all emotional again when Alfie reminded her how proud he was of her, that she stood up for herself and Addy and that's what a good Mumma does. "I loved your Mumma bear routine. You've got no idea how that felt watching that."

"You know I love Addy right?"

"I do."

"Alfie, I would do anything for her and I can tell you, when I felt like Isla was having a go at her, and Addy was getting upset I can't explain it. This…." She couldn't find the words. "…something inside me kicked in. I felt so hurt and protective of her. She was so upset that Isla didn't like her breakfast in bed it broke my heart and I was so angry, I wanted to scratch Isla's eyes out. Is that it? Is that what you feel? I know I won't feel what you feel with regards to Addy but it was a little bit overwhelming and I kinda liked it. Is that weird?"

"No, not at all. That makes me feel pretty good."

"But it was such a fucked day."

"Yeah it was, but not that part. When I first met Addy she was all I thought about but I knew that I needed to eventually make a better life for us and then I met you and you have been amazing, getting to know you, falling in love with you has been better than I ever hoped and part of that has been watching you and Addy fall in love too."

"It was so easy. Today felt instinctive, I didn't even have to think about it. I wanted and needed to protect her."

"You are becoming a beautiful Mumma bear."

"I've got a good Daddy to teach me."

"Trust me, we are learning this thing together." He kissed her nose. "Nothing hurts like seeing your baby hurting though does it?"

"No. It's a bit scary. I am glad I am in this with you, I'm glad you had my back, I've never had that before. I've always just put up with it from Isla but you made me feel like I didn't have to anymore. So thank you. Thank you for believing in me and trusting me with the most precious thing in the world to you and for loving me. And I am sorry I let it get to me, and that I took it out on you. You were just being you and trying and I let her control me, like she always has but enough, I've had enough, I don't need her validation anymore because I have you and I love that more than anything, you make me happy."

"Fuck Quinn, I love you. I want this every day."

"What?"

"You, I want you every day, in our life every day, in our home."

"I am."

"No, I want you to live with us. With Addy and I." Alfie held her tight. He'd never lived with a girlfriend before, not officially but it was time. "And Pops of course."


	56. Wake Up

"Wake Up Pops." They were the words that would haunt him for a long time.

Alfie flew out of his room, still half dressed as his daughter's voice got more desperate. "Wake Up, Wake Up. Pops Wake up."

He knew before he even stepped foot in the room.

He looked peaceful, the photo of his wife smiling down on him beside his bed. It was the only photo in his room. The house was littered with photos of his family but his bedroom was just for Kim.

Quietly in the night he closed his eyes, no doubt after saying goodnight to her one more time and now he was with her, at last. He was with his wife and his daughter again.

"Daddy." Addy cried, snapping him out of his inertia. "Pops won't wake up."

"It's okay Sweetheart." He flew across the room and pulled her away from his side and almost by instinct he felt his neck, hoping that he'd feel something. But he was still, everything was still and quiet, unnervingly quiet. "Pops." He bent down and kissed his forehead. A tear splashed down and he wiped it away. "I love you Pops."

"Daddy."

"Come here Addy." He picked her up. "Pops is gone Darlin'."

"Where he go?"

"To heaven to see MiMi and my Mom." Alfie held his daughter tightly against his body. "He died."

"Will he come back?"

"No, no he won't but we will always love him."

She reached up and touched his face. "You crying Daddy."

"I am."

Addy burst into tears. "Don't cry Daddy. Don't cry."

"Oh Addy." He buried his head into his daughter.

He called Gus. It was a short call, he'd said four words. "Gus, Sorry, he's gone." That was all he could say. The phone line went dead and he knew he was on his way.

Alfie took Addy downstairs, he made her some toast, put a movie on and headed straight back upstairs to Adam. Rhiannon arrived first, she was at home while Gus was across town and he'd called her the moment that his nephew's words sunk in. "Where's Daddy?" she bent down and kissed the top of the little girl's head.

"With Pops. I tried to wake him up."

They had been expecting this but that didn't make it easier or any less devastating. The past few weeks had been rough for them knowing that the end was getting so close. He had been talking more about Kim, muttering away to himself, looking at photos with tears on his cheeks. Polly started coming up more often. He called Poppy by his daughter's name. "That's Poppy." Mae would gently remind him.

"I know Mabel." He'd snap at her so she just let him go.

He would sit and talk to Quinn and tell her about Alfie growing up, his mother and father and make her promise to look after him. Riley, George and Colton all got the same talk, they had to look after his grandchildren, he was trusting them with his precious grandchildren. He'd ring Gus and beg him to come see him and he wanted to see Vivienne and Charlie. He apologised to them for not being there for them as much as he wanted too, especially when they were little. They didn't remember any of that, but they did remember that MiMi and Pops were always at their games, assemblies, graduations and birthdays. They had a special place in his heart because he never felt like he had to fix them. When he was with Viv and Charlie it was just about them and they adored him.

Viv and Charlie came to see him every day lately and would sit and talk to him about their Dad. Everyone knew this day was near. No one wanted it to come though.

One day he gave Gus his badge. "You hang onto that Dad."

"No Angus, I want you to have it. Just so you know that I'm safe, I'm okay Angus." Adam got upset with him and Gus knew why and went home and cried in his wife's arms, clutching his Dad's badge in his hand. "I love you Angus; you've been the light in my darkness for so long."

Everyone could see what was happening, Adam was getting ready to let go.

Rhiannon found Alfie sitting on the edge of Adam's bed, holding his hand. He heard someone come up but didn't look to see who it was.

"I couldn't leave him alone." He whispered quietly and Rhiannon saw his chest heave as he sobbed. She rubbed his back tenderly and rested her head on the top of his. Looking at her father-in-law she was surprised at how peaceful he looked. He'd been good to her, he was a good Dad to Angus, a wonderful grandfather to her children, an amazing guardian to her nieces and nephews and he was fun and larger than life. Angus was going to be a complete mess without him.

"Gus will be here soon."

"I didn't want to call him."

"Alfie why don't you go see Addy, I'll sit with him for a minute." She imagined he'd barely left his side.

Alfie didn't seem to hear her. "I heard Addy telling him to wake up…" she had to listen closely because he spoke so softly. "…and I knew."

"Alfie, he always said this was how he wanted to go, without a fuss."

"I didn't want him to die, not yet. I wasn't ready."

"He was."

Rhiannon heard the footstep on the stairs. Gus took them two at a time. He stood in the doorway and she wasn't surprised by the look of indescribable pain on his face. This was his Dad, he was now all alone. His Mom and his sister were gone and now his Dad, there was only him and he looked lost.

Rhiannon left Alfie's side and led Gus into the room. Alfie jumped up suddenly and hugged him before Gus dropped to his knees beside the bed. His hand shook as he reached out and touched his Dad's face. "Say Hi to Mom for me." His voice shattered and the tears finally fell.

Alfie couldn't watch.

"Have you told the girls?" Rhiannon followed him from the room and he shook his head. He couldn't do it. "I'll call them. Go see Addy."

It was three of the hardest calls she had ever made, each one worse than the last. They were devastated. Knowing it was going to happen sooner rather than later did not make it easier to hear. She called her daughter also who offered to pick up Charlie and bring him with her. Right now she wasn't leaving Gus's side.

"Are you sad Daddy?" Addy climbed into her Dad's lap as soon as he sat down.

"I am."

"Can I see Pops? Is he awake now?"

"Not right now Addy. Bus is with him."

"Is Bus sad too?"

"He is, his Dad just died."

"Like my Mum died."

"Yeah." He had no idea how to talk to her about this. He was struggling to comprehend what was happening himself.

"Are you going to die? Who will look after me?" Addy's sudden distress made her Dad cry again.

He cradled her head to his chest. "Oh Darlin'. I hope not. I want to grow old like Pops did and see you have babies and your babies have babies."

Addy didn't understand a lot but one thing she knew was her Daddy was upset and she didn't like it. She hung onto him like superglue. Alfie appreciated it, his heart was broken. He reached for his phone and tried to call Quinn but her phone rang out and went to voice mail. He couldn't leave a message so he typed a quick one_. 'Call me.'_

Finally he had stemmed the tears a little and then Lola arrived. Her eyes were red rimmed and she was blubbering mess when she saw her brother. "Where is he?" She dumped Sam and Billy and they didn't know what was going on.

"With Gus, up in his room."

"When? How?" Alfie could barely make out the words and Lola was struggling to speak.

"In his sleep."

She left Sam and Billy downstairs, they were a little subdued by the startling change in their mother. They could feel her distress. Mae wasn't any better when she arrived but it was Iris who was the worst. She was a complete mess and collapsed in Alfie's arms. "Oh Bug." His broken heart tore into smaller pieces, she was always going to take it the hardest because MiMi and Pops were all she remembered. "He's with MiMi and Mum and Dad now."

"No. Not yet Alfie, please." He could barely hold her up. "I didn't say goodbye."

"I know Bug, I know."

The house was in chaos and they had kids screaming around him. Poppy was screaming for her Mom, Addy was trying to comfort her and Sam was attempting to keep Billy amused. Alfie was struggling to control it. He was relieved when Colton arrived and he took over trying to calm the kids. Rhiannon came down and helped until George arrived. Poppy ran at her Daddy and Addy lost it, having her look after Poppy was the only thing keeping her together it seemed.

Alfie took her outside away from the commotion in the house as more and more people arrived. Riley came, Vivienne and Charlie were devastated when they got there and Heidi came over when she got home and saw all the cars outside the house. It was unusual for a Friday morning and she had a sense of dread.

At least she took control inside and tried to get things done and the kids calmed and occupied.

"You okay Darlin'?" Alfie sat down on the step with Addy.

"I don't like it."

"I know Darlin'. Neither do I."

"You not go away?"

"No, I'm staying with you." He tried to call Quinn again but assumed she was still with a client. He really needed her right now. She steadied him. The closer this day got the more Alfie felt like he was suffocating. Quinn had been patient when she copped some angst from him, it had upset her and he had apologised but it had been a little rough for both of them. Addy struggled also with the change in mood in the house and she had been a lot more clingy to Alfie and even told Quinn to 'be nice to my Daddy' after Quinn had told Alfie to 'grow up and stop being a dick.'

Quinn was surprised to see the missed calls and message from Alfie. He rarely called her during the day, especially if he knew she had a full day of clients. This was different and it took her a second to realise why. It may have been Addy, and she was almost wishing it was. Perhaps she'd had a fall, was sick or just wanted to talk to her because she was still asleep when he left but she knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Hey Babe." She tried to sound breezy but it came out strangled and when she heard him struggle to speak her heart fell through the floor. "What's wrong Alfie?"

"Pops."

"Is he okay?"

"He's gone."

"Oh, Alfie. When? Are you okay?"

"No."

"I'm on my way Baby. Are you alone?" He muttered something she couldn't understand.

She asked her colleague to take her next client who was waiting and the receptionist to deal with the rest of her appointments for the day.

They had been living together for three months. It was decided that Addy was better staying at the house than her tiny apartment so Iris and Colton moved out and Quinn moved in. It worked well for everyone and she did love spending time with Adam because she learnt a lot about Alfie and also his parents. Addy thrived with the stability of her home life but this day was coming and she never dreaded a day so much.

"Where is he?" Heidi was the first person she saw.

"He's upstairs having a shower I think." The kids were down the park. Hudson had taken them all out of the house because it was getting too much. She briefly saw Lola and Mae, Iris was in with Pops and Gus and had a quick word to them and they shed a few more tears but she almost dreaded seeing Alfie though because she hated seeing him in pain.

Alfie was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring into space. Quinn said nothing but wrapped him up in her arms and held him while he sobbed his heart out. It was gut wrenching. There was nothing she could say that would make this any better. Words weren't needed, she just had to show him how much she loved him.

"What happened?" He eventually pushed away from her a little and wiped his face.

"In his sleep. Addy tried to wake him up, I heard her and I kinda knew. I just wasn't expecting it, ya know. I didn't want Addy to see that."

"We'll look after her. I know you are not okay but what can I do?"

"Nothing. I'm glad you are here."

"I love you so much Alfie, so much. I know you are heartbroken."

"Yeah. It feels, final you know. Like Mom and Dad are really finally gone now, while Pops was still here they were too, he could talk about them and remember them and that kept them alive a little bit. That's fucked right?"

"No, no it's not. If that's how it feels, that's how it feels."

He buried his head in Quinn's lap and sobbed all over again. She never knew that's how he felt, that hanging onto Pops was his last little thread to his parents. That made this all the more shattering for her. She imagined that this was what it was like for MiMi and Pops when he was a heartbroken little boy. Adam had told him how much Alfie struggled to deal with his parents death, when it first happened and sparodically over the years when big moments came. This was hurting her more than she thought humanly possible.

Riley knocked quietly on the door; he knew that Quinn was in there with him. "They are here to take Adam." He told her quietly.

"Come on Sweetheart."

"I don't want Addy to be here."

"Addy's with the other kids. Hudson took them down the park to run around." Quinn explained and he just nodded. She had no idea whether he even heard her.

Splashing some cold water on his face he took a quick look in the mirror. "Well I look like shit."

"Who cares." She followed him out but headed downstairs when he went into Adam's room. The girls and Gus were in there, along with Vivienne and Charlie. Riley, George and Colton were waiting downstairs with Heidi and Vivienne's partner, Jackson.

"How's Alfie?"

"Finding it hard to comprehend, he's a little confused about how he should feel and he's heartbroken." Heidi informed her that Addy was doing fine and they were all having a drink and something to eat over at her house. Once the funeral home had left Hudson would bring them back.

Heidi looked at the four of them and while Lola, Mae, Alfie and Iris were closer than many families, so were their partners. If you loved one of them, you had to love them all, they all learnt that early on. Loving them also meant you had to let them get into their tight little huddle, it was up to them to circle the wagons around them and let them do their thing. Riley, George and Colton knew this, Quinn was about to learn it.

"I'm sorry it was Addy." Riley added. For a little girl to stumble in on something like that, especially when she had already dealt with the death of her mother, meeting her Dad for the first time, moving to another country and settling in to her new home at only four years of age he worried it was too much for a fragile little girl and while Addy was doing well they all knew how precarious things with her were.

"He hasn't said much about that yet, he's more struggling to deal with Pops being his last link to his Mom and Dad. That's hitting him really hard." Quinn was a little torn, she didn't know whether to stay here and be here for Alfie once they say their last goodbye or go and make sure Addy was okay. She decided to go see Addy. Alfie had his sisters and Uncle; Addy was small and alone and had the tendency to fret.

Addy's cried when she saw Quinn come in, she scrambled off the couch where she was watching a movie with Sam and flung herself at Quinn. George had come with her to check on Poppy and she was just as happy to see her Daddy.

"Quinn, is Daddy still sad."

"He is sweetheart."

"Did you hug him? I hugged him."

"I did and in a few minutes we will go back home and you can hug the stuffing out of him."

"Is Pops better?"

Alife hadn't really said much about what Addy understood. "Sweetheart, Pops died. He was very old and it was time for him to go. That's why Daddy is sad because we don't get to see Pops anymore." Quinn sat down with Addy on her lap. "Everyone is sad, Lola, Mae and Iris. Uncle Bus, Viv and Charlie all miss Pops very much. I'm sad, George is, Colt and Riley too and that's okay. We can all be sad."

"Is Alfie going away too?" The change in her language didn't go unnoticed by Quinn and she was worried she'd said the wrong thing. Maybe Alfie hadn't told her that Pops died. Her heart thudded in her chest, she would hate to make things worse.

"No, sweetheart. Daddy is staying here with us."

Addy suddenly burst into tears. "I want Alfie."

"We will go back soon."

"No, No. I want Alfie. He stay with me." Addy just wanted her Daddy and that was it. Her crying started Poppy off and Billy joined in. "Where's Alfie? I want Alfie." Quinn knew that Addy was fretting and anxious. They were always conscious of it. When she felt unsafe or if other people were upset it came out. Even randomly, when she was doing things she felt comfortable with or was staying with people she knew she would freak out sometimes and ask for 'Alfie' or 'Daddy Alfie'. It would take a few days to even her out again. The last time they heard it was when Quinn's sister came to town and stirred up a lot of shit.

"Okay." George checked with Riley and they were fine to bring the kids home. As soon as they crossed the road Addy pulled her hand from Quinn's and ran.

Alfie heard her before he saw her. The fact that she was calling him 'Alfie' worried him. "Hey, Addy. Come here Darlin'." She climbed into his lap, curled her hands up in front of her, like a tight ball and rested her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and bent down and snuggled into her. It was mutual comfort. "Daddy loves you so much Adelaide."

It was a long hard day for everyone, especially for the kids. They struggled and got frustrated and wanted attention that they weren't getting, people were coming and going and it was all too much. George called his Mom and she came and took Poppy home with her. Mae couldn't cope with her whinging at all. Riley took Billy home when Billy was ready for his afternoon sleep, he didn't sleep well out of the house and the house was noisy and the last thing they needed was a cranky toddler. He would bring him back before dinner, Lola wasn't leaving just yet and Sam wanted to stay with his Mom.

"Mom needs my help." He had told his Dad. "She needs my cuddles."

"That she does." Riley crouched down and talked to his son. "Take good care of your Mom, also keep an eye on Mae and Bug. Alfie might need a hug too."

"Addy is hugging him."

"You can help though, you're my guy." He gave his son a fist bump. "And don't forget Bus. I think you should go and give him a great big hug right now." He kissed Sam's forehead. Gus was staring out the window, looking a little lost. Riley watched Sam wrap his arms around his great uncle's legs.

Gus reached down and ruffled Sam's dark hair. He was all Riley, dark hair and bright blue eyes, dark eyelashes and a wicked smile and funny personality. He was friendly and silly and always into something. He loved climbing trees, building secret houses in the garden and making all sorts of mess. If he came inside clean they were worried and he often wigged Addy out by making her do things she didn't think she should, it was amusing to watch them negotiate with each other.

Like the time that they tried to make themselves a chocolate milk drink while Lola was feeding Billy and putting him to bed. She came back down to find Sam sitting in the lounge, watching TV and happily drinking his milk while Addy was struggling to clean up the chocolate all over the floor in the kitchen. When they had dropped the container on the floor Sam did try and help but once they decided to use a wet towel to clean it up it just made it worse and he bailed and left it to Addy. There was chocolate everywhere. As soon as Lola came into the kitchen Addy crumbled like a cookie. "I'm sorry, I tried." She was covered in just as much chocolate as the floor. Lola couldn't be angry at Addy, but Sam was a walking disaster and needed the entitled male attitude knocked out of him.

But he was also a loving little boy who melted his parent's hearts regularly.

"Bus." Sam looked up at him. "Do you miss Pops?"

"I do Emu."

"Do you need me to hug you to make you feel better?"

"Sounds perfect." He got down on his knees and hugged the little boy. He wasn't a grandparent yet but he may as well have been. Polly's tribe had filled that gap until his time came with Viv and Charlie. "Thanks Buddy."

"Do you feel better?"

"A little. I am still sad."

"Me too. I miss Pops." He added sadly. "I love you Bus."

The house kept filling as word got out. Adam had touched a lot of people's lives and while he was the last of his friends to go, all their children were certainly still connected to Adam and it was nice to see them. Food and flowers started to turn up, people they hadn't seen in years and friends and work colleagues all filtered through.

Lola spotted her as Mae snuck upstairs. She looked weary. Keeping an eye on her she noticed that George was very attentive, more than he usually was. She expected him to be a little protective and make sure she was okay, he knew how this was going to upset her and how Mae withdrew when she was hurting, but there was just something else there.

She had leant on him for a few minutes and he was talking to her quietly and then she went upstairs. Lola left her a couple of minutes and the followed her.

"You okay Monkey?" Lola found her in the spare room, lying down, eyes closed and her whole body language screamed exhaustion. She perched on the edge of the bed and rubbed her leg. "How far along are you?"

"Eight weeks." Mae figured that Lola would work it out. "I'm good Lola Bear, just really tired."

"Congratulations. I am so happy for you both."

"Thanks. Feels a bit weird, up until this morning we were so happy. We are excited and can't wait. I really wanted to tell Pops. I thought, you know that might make him hang on a bit longer." As soon as Mae started Lola cried and Mae was emotional anyway so it didn't take much, they were two blubbering messes. "We were just waiting for our scan next week and then I was going to tell him. I wish he knew."

"I know."

"Is this what if felt like losing MiMi just before Sam was born?"

"It's okay to be happy about the baby Mae."

"I don't know if I should tell everyone or not. It might be something to look forward too, a bit of joy but it's still so early." Mae hadn't even talked to George about whether or not to tell anyone. He was so strict with the three month thing with Poppy. "I mean what if something goes wrong?"

"I am not sure you will be able to hide it. You know George is going to be over protective, he already is." Lola had noticed it all morning. This was no surprise to her; she knew they had wanted another baby for a little while. "We will be there for you no matter what."

"I think I want Bug and Alfie to know."

"Do you want me to get them?"

"No, I need to talk to George first."

Lola left Mae to rest but she did ask if she could send George up. He felt a flutter of panic when Lola rested her hand on his arm and whispered Mae wanted him. "She's okay, she just wants a hug or two."

He slid onto the bed and wrapped himself around his wife, one hand on her stomach. Since the day they got the positive pregnancy test George had touched her stomach every chance he got. He'd even started talking to the baby at night. "You okay?"

"Lola knows, she figured it out."

"Of course she did." Mae rolled over to face him. He hated how sad she was, her eyes were red raw from crying all day. "You want to tell Alfie and Bug?"

"Would you mind?"

"No."

"Really? I mean last time you were so adamant."

"Well, it's different now Mae. This worries me more." He waved his arm in the general direction of downstairs. "I know the next few days will be intense and you will be here more than not, stressing out, writing lists, organising and the like. Knowing that Bug and Alfie and Lola will be keeping an eye on you and making sure you are not overdoing things eases my mind. If I can't be here, they will look after you."

"They will drive me nuts."

"Yep, so don't care."

"Didn't think you would. I think you'd get a kick out of having some allies."

George sent them all up.

"So here's some good news." Mae started and barely got the words out through her tears. "I am eight weeks pregnant."

Iris literally flung herself at Mae. "This is amazing."

"Thanks Bug." Mae gave her a watery smile. "Lola figured it out and we know it's early but all this kinda messed things up. I really wanted Pops to know, but he didn't." The tears tumbled down her cheeks. "So I wanted you to know because I love you guys so much, we've all we've got now and I know I am the luckiest unlucky person in the world."

"You know, I think he did." Alfie spoke suddenly. "He told me the other day that Mae's boobs looked big and he reckoned you were 'with child'…" He paused for a second and let that sink in. "…Yes they were his words."

"Trust him to notice that." Lola laughed.

"So, what do we call this one?" Iris was excited, it was taking her mind off everything else.

Alfie jumped in. "It's Billy's turn isn't it?" The rule had been that the last one in picked the next one. Poppy hadn't been old enough to pick Billy's animal so Sam did it and they can only imagine it was a turtle because they'd just heard a story about how Lola had found a half dead turtle on the beach that she begged their Dad to save and was devastated when it died.

"Billy barely knows that he has a turtle. He barely knows his own name." Lola rolled eyes, Billy was clueless. He was more interested in trains thanks to Alfie, most days he'd rather play with them than eat.

"True, but you know that's the rules. It's a good rule."

"What like when you chose a wombat and we hated it?"

Alfie nudged Iris playfully "Well look at our wombat, she's almost perfect."

Iris teased him. "Poppy should do it then, she missed out last time and then when Alfie puts some lead in his pencil and gives Quinn what she wants Billy can choose."

"I have lead in my pencil thank you very much. Does Adelaide ring a bell, she's the cute little Australian?"

"Or maybe Bug…."

Iris just about keeled over at Mae's suggestion. "Dealing with your mob of crackheads is a very effective contraception." The banter felt nice, it felt normal and it was a perfect little break from the overwhelming grief. They couldn't hide up here forever though, it wasn't fair to leave Gus and their partners to deal with the hordes of people.

One thing Iris had asked them early on that they all carried on like nothing had changed for her. She didn't want to be special or treated any differently because of what happened. Right now they had no idea if she could fall pregnant or not so it was better to pretend that they could. It was easier to deal with that way and the positive vibes had to help surely.

Alfie did think about what Iris had said regarding Quinn. He was very aware she wanted children and surprisingly it didn't freak him out. Even if things had changed with Addy, having her hadn't been a conscious choice on his part but he wouldn't have it any other way now. Was he ready for another though? How long was Quinn going to wait? Those questions were hard to answer, what wasn't hard was the question as to whether he wanted Quinn to be the mother of his children and that answer was yes.

The one other question he had to answer was should he take Addy home? His plan was to always go back to Australia once Pops was no longer around and he had talked about it with Quinn a couple of months ago. Now he wasn't sure. They had a life here; they had family support and Addy was settled in school. He couldn't have made it this far with Addy without his family so taking them away from the only family they had and across the world was a big decision. His parents had done it though and survived and he couldn't deny he loved it there and felt closer to his parents in Australia. Was that enough? Was the right reason? He had no idea.

Quinn found him later that night lying on the bed, face down, eyes closed but he wasn't asleep, she could tell that by his breathing. Easing herself onto the bed Quinn covered his body with hers. "Hey."

"Is Addy okay?"

"She's asleep, with Sam. Sam didn't want to go home."

"Sweet."

"It is."

"I was like that, when Mom and Dad died, I wanted to protect Bug."

"You did, you did such a good job." He was quiet and comforted by the weight of Quinn's body, the steadiness of her breathing and gentle touch of her hand through his hair. "Bug talks about it all the time."

"Yeah. I didn't know what to do." He choked back a sob. "I don't know what to do."

"Oh baby…" She pressed a little kiss behind his ear. "…it's okay to be scared and confused. It's okay to feel despair, devastation and hurt. It's okay to ask for help, for comfort and for a helping hand. You don't have to do it all, not anymore, not like you did before. You were a scared little boy then, you can do this."

"I know."

"Whatever you need Alfie, whatever, whenever, just ask. I don't care what it is, when it is. Let me help you."

"Can you help me with Addy? I'm so worried about her. She called me Alfie all day, did you hear that?" It had stressed Alfie out. Addy was still calling him Alfie now, even though she had spent most of the day with him.

"I know. She's okay at the moment, she loved having Sam stay. We'll look after her together."

Alfie tangled his arm around hers. "Stay here."

Right now he couldn't worry about what was going on outside this room. He knew Bug and Colt were staying but everyone else was leaving. When Lola left and took Sam with her they would bring Addy into bed with them. Alfie didn't want her to wake up alone, he could think of nothing worse for her. He didn't want anyone to wake up alone.

"I'm right here."

_**I'm sorry, I mean he was old, he couldn't live forever.**_


	57. The Rest of Our Lives

Her scream was ear piercing as it rifled through the darkened room.

Having bought Addy into bed with them when Lola left with Sam she had thrashed about all night. Alfie hadn't slept that well either and both of them kept Quinn awake.

It was her scream though that shattered the morning.

"Adelaide. What's wrong?" Alfie sat bolt upright in bed. She wasn't even really awake, she was gasping for air in between her screams and just sitting there in between them, completely out of it.

Wrapping his arms around her suddenly she started sobbing. "Don't go Alfie."

"Shhh Addy, Daddy's here."

"I stay, I stay here." Addy climbed onto her Dad and Quinn arm's circled both of them.

"It's okay Addy, please don't cry Darlin'."

Gradually she calmed down and drifted off to sleep in Alfie's arms. Every time he tried to move her she woke and cried, clinging to him like her life depended on it.

Quinn stroked her hair softly as Alfie's heart started to return to normal. He rested his head on hers, tucked up under his chin and Quinn noticed even he was a little out of it. They'd been ripped out of sleep as well and it took a moment to get their bearings.

"How are you?" Quinn gave him his morning kiss.

"My heart is broken."

"I know, I can see it."

"I don't want today to start, like this is the first day of the rest of my life, without all of them."

Quinn just rested her forehead on his and helped him cuddle Addy and said nothing. There were no words to help him, she just had to be there for him. Quinn desperately wanted to find the right thing to say to ease his pain but it would just seem like lip service. The house felt desperately quiet and heavy.

Alfie groaned when he felt the warm wetness spread across his stomach. "Fuck…" He tried to lift Addy off him but she woke and clung to him. "She's pee'd on me." He eased himself off the bed.

"It's okay Darlin'." He tried to reassure her as he stripped out of her wet clothes, turning on the shower Addy looked reluctant to get in until Alfie stripped off too and offered to get in with her. "Let's get this cleaned up."

It wasn't until he was kneeling in front of her drying her off that she broke his heart all over again. "Alfie, Where am I going to live now?"

"Addy, sweetheart, you aren't going anywhere."

"I want to stay with you." He tried to reassure her that she wasn't going anyway but Addy didn't seem to hear him. "Mummy died and Pops died and now I go away again. I want to live with you."

"Addy. You are staying here with Daddy and Quinn."

"I want to stay. Don't make me go Alfie. Save me." If that wasn't a kick in the nuts.

They were both crying. "Addy, please don't worry. I won't let you go; I promise." He hugged her tightly and Addy threw her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist so he had no choice but to pick her up and she wouldn't let go. They were both stark naked, freezing cold and desperately sad.

"Save me Alfie, save me."

Quinn could hear them while she changed the sheets and noticed his tears when he came out. She wiped them away and prised Addy off him so he could get dressed. Addy didn't want to let go and was screaming and clawing at her Dad until Alfie yelled at her to stop. She'd hurt him, he had a deep scratch mark on his back where she had dug her fingernails in and he snapped and instantly regretted it. She threw herself on the bed when he untangled her arms but she baulked and thrashed and screamed louder as Quinn touched her.

Bug was down in the kitchen making the first of what she assumed would be many cups of coffee. She had heard Addy's screaming and it reminded her of the first few weeks that they had her. The house felt eerie, there were flowers everywhere and food stacked in the fridge. It settled over her uneasily, Colton was in the shower and he'd been amazing yesterday, he'd comforted her until she finally fell asleep about three am. Now she was exhausted, devastated and had no idea what to do.

Suddenly she felt rudderless. All she had known was Pops and MiMi, they'd been such an enormous part of her life, maybe the most important part of her life and suddenly there was just this void. Even when MiMi passed away she at least still had Pops and now he was gone too. The house felt empty, even though only one person was missing. It was just that he was the biggest part of this house.

Quinn came down first while Alfie was struggling with Addy. "Everything okay?"

"You heard her?"

"We did. Is Addy okay?"

She gratefully accepted a cup of coffee and pulled up a stool at the counter. "We are not sure, Addy's pretty upset. She thinks that she has to go away now that Pops died."

"Why?"

Quinn shook her head sadly, it had been devastating listening to her, she was so distraught and Alfie was struggling as well. "She had a nightmare, with all the upheaval for her when Jedda died she's worried that it will happen again. She's fairly clinging to Alfie like a barnacle begging him to save her."

"My poor baby." Iris wiped away her own tears, they were pretty close to the surface anyway the thought of Addy begging to be saved broke her completely and Quinn reached for her hand.

"Hey Bug, Alfie's looking after her."

"I know, it's just…" the tears just flowed out of her and Quinn jumped up and hugged Iris. "…I can't believe he's gone. I am so broken."

"You are allowed to be, you all are."

"I know, I just wish this day had never come. I didn't want to open my eyes today."

"Neither did your brother."

"How is he?"

"He's like you. Devastated."

Colton joined them and started cooking breakfast while Alfie finally came down with Addy. "Hey sweetheart…" Iris rubbed her back. "..how are you?" Addy shrunk away from Iris's touch. "I love you Adelaide." When Iris went to kiss her Addy lashed out with her hand and collected Iris in the face.

Alfie grabbed her hand. "Adelaide, stop it. You don't hit Bug." He demanded she apologise, which she did reluctantly. So far she had lashed at Iris and scratched and fought him and refused to talk to Quinn.

"This is a fucking hoot isn't it?" Iris grumbled. "Welcome to hell."

Addy didn't eat, she sat on Alfie's lap, facing his chest and ignoring everyone else with her head tucked up under his chin and her Echidna clutched under her arm.

Eventually she moved off his lap but only once Lola and the kids arrived and Sam begged her to come watch TV with him, their favourite show was on. She looked up at her Daddy and he promised that he'd be right here if she needed him. Sam was so sweet with her, he held her hand as they disappeared into the lounge room and he sat right next to her and it wasn't long before they could hear them talking and giggling. They were laughing at Billy who had got himself stuck trying to get down off the couch, eventually tumbling head first to the floor which made them laugh hysterically.

Gradually the house filled up again. Mae arrived with Poppy, she looked green this morning, a sleepless night had exacerbated her morning sickness and George would be happy to know that Mae was being mollycoddled. He had to go into work for a meeting that he couldn't get out and he was worried about Mae and Poppy had been up and down all night. George had let Lola know they had a bad night which pissed Mae off but Lola didn't care. "Suck it up Mabel." Lola flipped her off. "It is what it is."

"Hey Termite…" Lola slipped his arms around her brother's neck as they sat at the table. "Look at that boy of mine, I think he's got a little bit of you in him. He's being all man of the house over Addy and Poppy, making sure they are okay. Just like you did." He now had both girls sitting up with him while he was in between them with his chest puffed out like he was king of the world.

"He's a good boy. I've taught him well."

Alfie was talking to Joey Halstead, who they weren't surprised to see. He'd eventually come back to Chicago and joined CPD, following in his Dad's footsteps and was pretty close to Gus still. He would drop in and see Adam a couple of times a year. Adam was the last of them. Jay, Kevin, Antonio were all gone. He felt a tug on his hand and was expecting to see Addy but it was Sam. "Addy needs you." He whispered, pulling him away.

"What's up?"

"She needs you, she's crying….." he was desperate. "…she wee'd."

"Okay." Sam tried to keep up with Alfie as he took the stairs two at a time.

Addy was up in her room trying to change her clothes and Sam just stood at the door and waited for his Uncle to help her, he looked so worried about her. She burst into tears when she saw her Dad and that started Sam off too, it was heartbreaking. "I'm sorry Alfie."

"It's okay sweetheart." Leading her through to the bathroom he stripped her off quickly, grabbed a washcloth and cleaned her up and helped her get dressed again. "Please don't cry sweetheart. It's okay."

"Sam helped me."

"Yes he did, that's because he loves you so much Addy."

"I miss Pops." Alfie wasn't sure how many more times his heart could break. "I want him to come back."

"Me too Darlin'."

"Then I can stay."

Alfie didn't know how to get through to her that she wasn't going anywhere. "Adelaide, sweetheart. This is your home, here with Daddy and Quinn. You aren't going anywhere, okay? You are staying with me."

"Promise."

"I promise Addy. I promise I won't let you go." She climbed into his arms and Alfie hugged her tightly. "I love you Darlin'."

In the quietest voice she whispered in his ear. "I love you Alfie." It was a baby step, hearing her say that she loved him but she still hadn't called him Daddy since yesterday.

He felt Addy stiffen when they headed downstairs and it was full of people. "I play in my room?" she begged and Alfie was more than happy to let her. It was something he remembered, not wanting people around. He took her back upstairs and Sam followed and Alfie stood outside the door for a few minutes and listened to them.

"Let's make a cubby?" Sam suggested. "Then we can hide."

"Then nobody can take me away." This girl was breaking his heart right now.

"I'll help you hide. Don't worry Addy." Sam wasn't much better either, he was breaking his heart too. "I promise. I won't let them take you away."

It was a long day for everyone. The house was full, people came and went all day. Gus was doing it tough; it was heart-warming to see how much Adam had touched so many people's lives and they loved hearing stories about him. There were a lot of laughs, crazy kids, food coming out their ears, flowers and cops everywhere they turned.

Sam and Addy eventually came downstairs as the crowd thinned out. Addy's room was absolutely trashed, Poppy and Billy had ended up in there at one stage and there was lots of squealing and laughing. Unlike the sanctuary that Lola, Mae, Alfie and Iris sought when they were little and their world fell apart these four were having a hoot. Back then there was no laughing or playing, just an overwhelming sadness.

"Mom." Sam found Lola in the kitchen cleaning up after a hastily put together dinner for the kids. While they weren't particularly hungry the kids were starving. "Can I have a sleep over?"

"You want to stay here?"

"Yes. I think Addy needs me."

That made Lola cry. "Oh Sam, that's very sweet of you."

"She's sad Mom, she's scared that she has to go away. I don't want Addy to go away." Sam shook his head. "She really likes it here and she likes Alfie and Quinn and me."

"I know she does."

"I want to stay and then I can stop them taking her away. I'll save her."

Lola picked him up and sat him on the bench. He was a beautiful boy, full of beans, loud, funny and always on the go but he also had a very sweet nature. He looked like his Dad and Lola loved that and she loved how much he adored his Daddy. Sam had told them that he wanted to be a Doctor like his Daddy and when they mentioned like his Mom too he shook his head, _'nope like my Daddy.' _He had Riley's sweet protective nature as well and that's all Lola could see right now.

"Addy's not going away Sam, this is her home, here with her Dad and Quinn. I know she's a little scared but it makes me so happy that you are taking care of her." Lola brushed his hair from his forehead and kissed it. "You know when we were little, when our Mom and Dad died Alfie took care of us."

"Was he as big as me?"

"A little bigger actually. Bug was little like Poppy and Alfie made sure he stayed with her so she didn't get scared and lonely. Is that why you want to stay with Addy?"

"Yes." He looked at his mom sadly. "I'm a little scared too."

"Why sweetheart?"

"I don't want you and Daddy to die."

Lola held his cheeks in her hands. "Sam, Daddy and I aren't going anywhere, not for a long, long time. We've got to see you and Billy grow up and be big and strong like Pops was."

"Promise."

"Oh Sam, I never want to leave you and Billy, ever."

He did stay, Riley stopped by home on his way home from work and picked up some clothes and pyjamas for him. Addy had begged her Dad to let Sam stay as well. They seemingly had hatched a plan at some point. They worried about the trouble these two were going to cause in the years ahead.

It did give Alfie a chance to catch his breath once they got into bed, sadness oozed from him still and he was exhausted but he did lie in the dark and talk about Adam for a while. He talked about those first few weeks when their parents died and how he'd promised to help him be the man of the house. In some way he could see that with Sam and Addy now and that comforted him. It worked for them and he was desperately hoping it would work for his daughter. Adam would have been proud of little Sam, they all were.

Rather than wake up to a screaming child, they woke up to giggling ones. It was a sweet sound and Quinn wasn't surprised when Alfie teared up a little. "How beautiful is that?"

They came bursting through the door. "Daddy." Addy leapt on the bed and Sam scrambled up with her. "Me and Sam are going to cook breakfast."

"Really." This sounded like it was fraught with danger. "And what are you going to cook?"

"Pancakes."

"Who is helping you?"

Addy rolled her eyes like he'd just asked the stupidest question ever. "Sam."

"Ahhhh, Sam's not old enough either. Do you want me to help?"

"No, we can do it."

"How about I just come and watch and you will need help to cook them because you can't touch the stove."

"Oh bugger…" she dropped her head a little bit. They really hadn't thought of that.

"I promise just to help you cook them, you can do everything else." He bargained with them both.

"Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes." Sam started chanting and Addy soon joined it. He did wonder what the hell they were on. This was remarkedly like 'crackhead' behaviour.

Alfie smiled at Quinn. "I guess we are having pancakes." Both of their little jumping beans cheered. "Okay, get off my bed." He tickled them both. "Bathroom and I will meet you downstairs."

"You do realise sending them both to the bathroom at the same time could be considered risky?"

"What? Those angels." He mocked her and then faked a look of concern. "But hey did you notice anything?"

"She's happy."

He rolled towards her, pulling her close and kissing her softly. "She's happy." He repeated.

Quinn ran her hands through his hair and down his back. "I know that means a lot to you, but don't forget to make sure you are okay too?"

They were back, screeching at him to hurry up. "Sam, why are your pyjama's wet?"

"They not."

"I can see it dripping off you from here."

"They fell off."

"Where…" Alfie reluctantly hauled himself out of his warm bed.

Sam looked at Addy and they both looked as guilty as sin. "In the toilet." Addy blurted out and then they both laughed nervously.

"Seriously?" Alfie put his hands on his hips and looked at them both. They were impossibly cute, holding hands and bouncing around like they had ants in their pants. Quinn was struggling to hold back her laugh. "How?" he held up his hand. "You know what, I don't want to know. Go get dressed." He waved them away and turned to Quinn. "You're not helping. Like seriously how the hell?"

She just giggled and reminded him that leaving them to their own devices for too long probably wasn't a good idea, the train had already started to slip off the rails.

Alfie called his sister while all the ruckus was going on in the kitchen. "Watch this." He turned on the video chat and held the phone up so she could see what was going on. They were both covered in flour and the milk barely made it to the bowl but they were having fun.

"So, it's all good?" Lola asked him when he took it off video.

"Yeah, so far so good, they both slept fine. No nightmares and Addy is happy today."

'That's good Alfie."

"Although Sam's Pyjamas are wet because they fell in the toilet."

"What? How?"

"I really don't know Lola, it's Sam and Addy, isn't that reason enough?"

"True."

"Thanks for letting him stay Lola Bear."

He really appreciated that Lola probably wanted her son close but knew that he desperately wanted to help his cousin and she put that before her own desire to snuggle up to her children and grieve.

It wasn't all smooth sailing though. Breakfast was great, Addy and Sam loved cooking everyone breakfast, although it took Quinn a while to clean up the damage to the kitchen and Sam was ecstatic to see his Mom and Dad and Billy arrive.

They had an appointment at the funeral home today and Heidi stayed with the kids and Addy dropped her bundle as soon as Alfie told her he had to go out for a little bit. "No Alfie, No." she screamed, clawing at his leg. "No, I don't want you to go. Stay with me." She begged to come too which was heartbreaking.

When he finally prised her off after trying to reason with her Addy threw herself onto the couch, wailing. Nobody could go near her and Sam stood back and looked worried, his own bottom lip trembling. Alfie thought about not going but they were planning Pops funeral and right now that's where he needed to be.

Eventually she let Heidi sit with her as she continued to sob. "Is Alfie coming back?"

"He will sweetheart. Very soon."

"I miss Alfie, he's gone."

"He's coming back Addy. I promise, he loves you very much."

"Alfie go away and die."

"No, Addy, No, Daddy will be home soon. He's just got a meeting; he goes to work and comes home every day remember." Heidi knew that Addy was struggling, they had all seen it yesterday and she knew how much it was worrying Alfie. She'd been through so much in her short life, but what Addy didn't understand was she was in the best place now, if anyone was going to understand what she was going through it was her family. They'd all been there and come out the other side.

Heidi still missed her brother, he'd left a huge hole in her heart but Lola, Mae, Alfie and Iris had filled it a little and now with their growing families she felt like she still had Sam and Polly in her life.

"I don't want to go away again." Addy buried her face in her hands. "Alfie come back; Alfie come back. Please call Alfie, please." She begged.

"Adelaide, please don't cry sweetheart, Daddy will be home soon."

"You call Alfie. Please." She sobbed. Heidi was worried about calling him and him not answering because they were busy, she wasn't sure Addy would cope with that. "Please call Alfie."

Sam did his best and Addy did eventually stop crying and they started to play happily. Alfie called and Heidi thought it best not to let Addy know or talk to him, he was upset enough as it was it would only make him feel worse. She did tell her that Alfie sent her message saying he'd be home soon.

"He coming home?" her voice quivered a little.

"Very soon sweetheart."

As soon as she heard the cars and the voices her walls crumbled and she was just standing in the middle of the room, head in hands sobbing her heart out. Sam was beside himself, trying to get Addy to stop crying. "They home now, please don't cry Addy." Sam begged his cousin. "It's okay now."

It tore Alfie's heart out seeing her and she collapsed into his arms. "Oh Addy, I'm sorry Darlin', please don't cry sweetie."

"You go away."

"Just to a meeting, I was always coming back to you."

"I miss you Alfie."

"I know." He sat with her on his lap while Heidi made them all a coffee and they filled her in on the funeral plans. Eventually she drifted off the sleep and everyone could see the strain it was putting Alfie under. He never expected Addy to struggle so much. He was barely handling his own grief; the grief of his daughter was unbearable.

"You know, this is bringing back a lot of painful memories." Heidi smiled sadly. "Those first few days was terrible. We didn't know how to fix you and everyone wanted too."

"What did you do?" Alfie would do anything to make this easier for Addy.

"In the end, we just had to let the four of you take care of yourselves and wait. We supported you, loved you, cared for you but what really mattered the most was that you were all together. I see that a little bit with Sam and Addy and it's painfully sweet." It was such a terrible time for everyone and Heidi took a moment and let all those memories come back. "When Iris cried we wanted to help her but you wouldn't let us, you all cuddled her, took care of her, took her to the bathroom, slept with her, helped her get dressed, everything and we had to let you. In your own way, and in your own time you each came and got the help you needed but we couldn't force it."

"I just don't want her to worry." His tears broke his Aunt's heart. He was so desperate to help his daughter; she'd been through so much already. "I don't want her to hurt anymore. She's been hurt too much."

"You can't stop that Alfie, you've just got to love her."

He wiped his face angrily. "I just want to hear her call me Daddy again, then I know she'll be alright."

Heidi reached for his hand and squeezed it. "One day at a time Alfie, you can't rush her through her grief. Like you can't rush through yours." He nodded. "We'll all help you."

Lola and Alfie decided that Sam could stay one more night. He had begged to stay again. It had been a tough decision and this time they decided to stay as well and Sam had been delighted. While he wanted to help his cousin he missed his parents and brother too.

Sam couldn't keep staying though, he was a little boy and the burden wasn't his to carry. Heidi saw some of his grandfather in him which was bittersweet.

It wasn't only Addy that Alfie was worried about, it was Quinn too. Addy had pushed her away and as much as Quinn told him she understood he could still see that it hurt her. She was thrust into a family situation that felt overwhelming. Addy turning away from her had to sting and she was trying to be okay with it. Alfie had Addy to worry about, he was grieving for his grandfather and also for his parents all over again and he was worried about his sisters, particularly Mae and to a lesser extent Iris. He felt like he needed to be the 'man of the house' again and Quinn didn't know how to help him.

Heidi pointed that out to her, that Alfie was doing exactly what he'd done before. He was doing the only thing he knew how to do.

Riley had noticed that Quinn was quiet. She spent most of her time in the kitchen cleaning up or making coffee for visitors. "It's not easy is it?" He made her jump when he came in and leant on the bench. "At times like this it's not easy."

"I guess not."

"This is what they do, they have to do it this way. Pull together, comfort each other because that's how they survived."

"I just want to help, both Alfie and Addy."

"You are helping Quinn, trust me, he knows you are here and at some point he's going to turn to you and need you. It's hard stepping back, I learnt the hard way."

"When?"

"When MiMi died. Lola was seven months pregnant and I wanted to hold on so tight, MiMi was in hospital and I fought to get her to eat and sleep and not spend every minute of the day and night by her side. I worried about Lola and she hated it because she thought I was keeping her from her MiMi and Pops. The harder she fought, the harder I pushed back. She had contractions and all I wanted to do is hold her and protect her and my baby." He shook his head. "Iris came into see her and they slept together and I slept in a chair beside her bed. My wife was having a threatened pre-term labour and grieving for her grandmother and she had her sister comfort her. It was really fucking hard."

"What did you do?"

"Let them do it their way and after a day or so it settled down."

"It's so hard to stand back and see Alfie struggling. Addy is making it hard for him and I just want to ease some of that burden for him and she won't let me."

"Addy is a whole new kettle of fish. She is clinging to the one thing she knows, her Daddy. He's all she had for a while, her world has been turned upside down again and she's just a scared little girl and she also knows her Daddy is upset and that's not helping."

"So I am being selfish?"

"No, you are in love with Alfie and he's hurting and you want to help. You can see Addy hurting and you want to help her too. It's not selfish Quinn, it's just love."

"How do you do it?"

"Got no choice." He shrugged. "Lola is my life, all this crazy comes with her. I chased that woman for two years, fell in love with her in one day. This is just how it goes."

"I feel like that's where I am at now." This was the first time Quinn had to deal with any family drama, she knew they'd had more than their fair share but in the time she'd known Alfie it had been pretty smooth. It had surprised her a little at how fierce they were. Riley saw that, he remembered what his first time was like and he'd lived through a few now. It was a force of nature and you felt left out, but they always knew you were there and always came back to you.

Riley pushed himself off the bench and embraced her. "Welcome to the circus, it's not all sunshine and roses, sometimes Quinn it's really fucking hard."

Addy did say goodnight to her when she was going up to bed. She had Sam staying again and was happy and Quinn loved the hug she got and hung on a little tighter. "I love you so much Addy." Quinn whispered in her ear "I am so happy you are here with us."

If Alfie thought finding out he had a daughter, taking over the care for her and bringing her home to America was a challenge, nothing could prepare him for the absolute devastation of watching her fall apart. He didn't know how to help her.

It was a wild ride, made all the harder because it was piled on top of his own grief. Adam's death had hit them all hard, harder than they imagined. MiMi's death had broken their hearts, Adam's death obliterated them.

He was all at sea and Addy was a nightmare. One minute she was happy, the next minute she was a mess.

When the house filled up she retreated to her room or to the safe arms of her Dad. She had started calling him Daddy again and that was a relief.

It was fleeting though. When the Funeral Director arrived with her brief case to run through the final details Addy completely dropped her bundle. "No, No, No." she literally crawled up Alfie's leg. "No, I stay Alfie, I stay with you."

"Adelaide. It's okay. You are staying with me."

"They take me."

"They are not taking you anywhere." He was starting to wonder what actually happened when Jedda died. As far as he knew she was with Tara at the time. Nobody mentioned anything about how Addy coped with all that and maybe for her it felt exactly the same this time around. Addy didn't know what she was feeling and that manifested itself in her hysterical erratic behaviour.

Leonie, the Funeral Director offered to come back later but he doubted anything would change. "Thank you but no, let's do this. I want to get it over and done with." The last thing anyone wanted was to drag this out, it was hard enough as it was.

Addy sat on his lap; it would have been preferable if she wasn't here at the table but she wouldn't even go play with Sam today. Sam begged her and he was upset that she didn't want to play with him, he didn't understand why.

He just wanted the next few days to be over and then wanted to take Quinn and Addy to the Beach House. It was his sanctuary and he always wanted to run away and hide up there. It gave him the space to breathe and he could switch his mind off and be in the moment. Addy loved it too and she always wanted to go back.

Gus saw that Alfie was struggling with Addy. His heart was breaking even more than he thought possible and it bought back memories that he had buried a long time ago. Those first few days after Polly and Sam died and their funeral had been horrific for everyone and seeing it all again was tough. He found Alfie sitting outside all alone with a beer. Addy was finally asleep and he was catching his breath.

He handed him another beer and sat down on the step next to his nephew. "Tough day?" He tapped the neck of his bottle on Alfie's

"Yeah."

"You know Addy will be okay?"

"I hope so."

"I know so, you know why?" Alfie just looked at him, he was so worn down. "Because I've seen it before, I watched you go through this, all of you."

"I don't really remember it. Like I remember some parts and I know it felt big, I know I wanted to protect Iris and the girls, I remember needing to do that. The funeral, it's just this strange crushing feeling."

Gus swallowed a mouthful of beer and stared out into the backyard. He loved this place, it had been such a big part of his life, the only house he ever lived in with his parents and his sister. They'd spent so many days playing out here, so many nights on this deck. "I remember every single minute."

"How'd you do it?"

"What choice did I have? God, Alfie, I loved your Mom and your Dad was just immense and they were gone." He clicked his fingers. "Just like that. You needed us, you'd lost everything, your whole future. Shit, I'm in my sixties and I've just lost my Dad and it's fucking hard. I miss my Mom every day and I had a lifetime with her. You were seven." Gus couldn't even look at him. "I never wanted that for you. I don't want this for you now, I don't want this for Addy."

"Watching her fall apart is like being stabbed in the heart. I just want to help her."

"You are, we did. You just be there for her, tell her you love her every single day, hold her when she wants it, listen to her, be patient, cry with her and one day soon you'll hear her laugh again. I promise you Alfie, you and Addy will get through this. Lean on Quinn, she's going to be there for both of you. I couldn't have made it through losing Polly and Sam without Rhiannon, I didn't make it through losing Mom by myself and I know I have Rhiannon right now."

"I'm sorry you lost your Dad."

"Me too."

Alfie tapped his bottle this time. "Love you Bus."

Gus took a long swig on his beer. "He was just so big, ya know? We didn't always see eye to eye. I remember when Polly was going through her shit and I wrote myself off, I was sixteen and had alcohol poisoning. Dad could've lost his shit at me but he knew that I was just scared that Polly was going to hurt herself. I told him that and made him promise not to tell Mom and he didn't, when she found out she reemed him out but he didn't tell her because I asked him not too, he refused to break my trust. He picked me up from school one day and we just went boxing, he let me hit him and get it all out. I used to think that he loved Polly more but he didn't, he just showed us in different ways. All I hope is that I am half the man he was."

"Hey Bus, you are way more than half. He was proud of you, he told me that he thought you were a better man and cop than he ever was and that made him happy. I love that you have always been in our life. He loved you, we love you."

Everyone was surprised when Alfie decided that Addy wasn't going to the funeral. She didn't need to see that, nor would she understand what was happening. He hated the very vague memories of his parent's funeral and how horrific it was, he didn't want that for Addy. It was barely a year ago she was at her mother's funeral and while she was younger, like Iris who didn't remember anything it wasn't worth the distress it would cause her for something she won't remember.

She wasn't coping with a lot of people around and there would be plenty of people there and Alfie wouldn't be able to stay with her the whole time. He was a pallbearer and giving a eulogy and the last thing he needed was having Addy screaming hysterically in the church. He couldn't do it to her or to Quinn who would struggle to contain her, it wasn't fair on anyone.

Not that leaving her at home was pleasant either. They appreciated that Meg and Joel stayed home with her, Alfie did feel guilty that he left her with them when she was so emotionally unstable, they had to peel her off him when they left. Quinn's parents were amazingly patient and kind. They had made Addy feel welcome in their home and their life and he loved that Addy adored them.

Lola ended up leaving Billy with them also. Sam really wanted to go and Mae wanted Poppy to stay with her. By the time they got home Addy was utterly miserable and had told both of them that Alfie was never coming back and she didn't know where she was going to live now. She was cuddled up on Joel's lap, her echidna and Alfie's giraffe firmly in her grasp. "Addy, sweetie. Daddy's home." He whispered to her and Addy shot out of his lap and ran sobbing into his arms.

"Hi Darlin' I'm so happy to see you."

"You came back?"

"Of course I came back. I will always come back to you."

"Alfie. Can you stay now?"

"Yep." He spent the next hour with Addy attached to his hip. Even when people turned up she had decided being in Daddy's arms was the best place for her, then she could keep him close. Rarely did she talk to anyone though, even when they tried to talk to Addy she would just bury her head in Alfie's shoulder.

They let the dust settle for a few days before heading away and as soon as they got to the Beach House Addy was a different girl. She calmed down, her bright personality came back, she slept better, ate better and seemed happy. Still loving her cuddles she told Alfie that she loved it here, that she loved him and Quinn. "I love my house." She flopped down in front of the fire having put Ed on her bed.

"I'm happy to hear it."

"I love my house, I love Ed, I love Daddy, I love Quinn and I love me." She preened happily and Alfie glanced at Quinn and saw the tears in her eyes. It had been so rough for her every time Addy pushed her away.

Alfie reached for her hand and squeezed it. They had a bit of an uphill battle and this was the first step, he knew how hard she was doing it.

They decided to go for a walk along the beach, it was too cold to swim but Addy wanted to get out. Alfie helped her get into her coat and then helped Quinn. "I can't wait to help you get out of your clothes later."

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise." He hooked her little finger with hers. "Serious business."

Addy interrupted them; she was ready to get out. "Come on Daddy. Let's go." Addy tugged on his hand. "Come on Quinn, hurry. We need to find some shells."

She held both of their hands, skipping happily between them. When they hit the beach Addy took off and Alfie instantly grabbed Quinn's hand and curled his fingers tightly around hers. "This feels good."

"Less hectic that's for sure."

"It's been crazy yeah?"

"How are you?" The enormous strain on Alfie had taken its toll. He looked tired. "You look like you could sleep for a week."

"I probably could. I'm okay."

"It's okay to say you are not okay. This is tough for you. You came back to Chicago because of Pops, he was such a big part of your life. It's okay to miss him and admit that you are struggling with that."

"I can't think about myself, I've got Addy to worry about."

"Alfie, sweetheart I'm worried about you."

"I know. I know I've been a bit distant and distracted but I really do appreciate that you've been here with me. I'm glad I have you." Addy came barrelling towards them, her face glowing and lit up with the brightest smile. "She looks happy."

"Yeah, this is good for her."

"It's good for us." Quinn tugged on his hand and leant on his shoulder briefly. "I love you Babe."

Addy wrapped her arms around his legs. "Oh Daddy, I'm puffed."

"So you don't want me to chase you?"

"I do, I do." She took off again, squealing as her Daddy chased her. "Help me Quinn, help me. Catch Daddy." They just had fun and it felt good.

Alfie got her into the bath after they lit the fire while Quinn cooked dinner. They had a picnic on the floor and toasted marshmallows and Addy actually asked to go to bed. "I'm very tired." She leant on Quinn's leg. "Ed is sleepy too." And Quinn was happy that she asked for her to take her to bed.

Alfie was waiting for her with a glass of whiskey. He was stretched out on the floor in front of the fire, the lights were off and only the fire lit the room and the light from the hallway that was always left on for Addy. Holding out his hand Quinn was happy to join him. "She's asleep? That was quick."

"Out like a light."

Alfie propped himself up on one elbow as Quinn lay down beside him. He took a sip of whiskey and set the glass down. "Today was good hey?" He had so much to say and didn't know how to start.

"It was nice to hear you laugh and see you smile."

"I saw you smiling too. I liked it. I haven't given you much to smile about lately."

"It's been a tough week."

He dipped his finger in the glass of whiskey and ran it over her lips, before she had the chance to lick it off he kissed her. Softly, slowly and passionately. "I love you, I'm so in love with you." He whispered, pulling back slightly so he could catch her eye. "I adore you."

Quinn reached up and held his cheek, running her thumb over his lips. "I've never felt like this, I never thought I'd feel like this about anyone."

"I've felt you with me, I was so broken and you were always there."

"We've got this Alfie. We've can do this."

"I know we can, we are doing it." He reached for the glass and took another mouthful. He wanted this, whatever it was and wherever it was going to last. Intimacy isn't always just getting naked, it was. probably less about that and more about these moments. The moments before and the moments after. It's the sweet words, the comfortable silences, the gentle touch, comfort from being near someone and not touching them, the joy that you feel when you come home and they are just in your world and the peace that all that gives you.

"Moment by moment."

His eyes glazed over for a few moments and then he started speaking. "When my parents died I was so angry with them. I remember telling Bug off one day because she kept asking for them. She asked for Dad and I yelled at her to stop talking about him because it was his fault. He let my Mom die…"

"Oh.. baby." It was the softest of touches, her hand on his neck but it was all he needed to keep going.

"I was just angry. I didn't understand. He was driving, he crashed and they died so it was his fault. Why didn't he not crash, why didn't he avoid the truck, why didn't he save my Mom?"

"You were seven."

"I know, then I wanted to know how they died, were they together, did Dad try and save her? Was there lots of blood?"

Quinn didn't know what to say in response to that so she just left her hand on his neck, her fingers softly stroking his warm skin.

"Pops never told me much but he told us they died instantly, that they didn't suffer but they did. He lied, I found the report from the coroner. When the truck driver got out Mom was still alive, so was Dad. She only lived a few minutes more and Dad was holding her hand, he didn't let her go and then he died, looking at her. It would have destroyed him watching her die, he was never going to survive after that. Pops was the only one that saw them and he never ever talked about it. Never. He knew everything, Pops knew and he never told me. He carried that burden to his grave and I let him."

"He was just protecting you."

"I don't hate him for that and I will never tell the girls. You are the only person I have ever told, I've just buried it. I don't want them to know, I don't want that pain for them, I don't want them to hate Pops for not telling them but I can't carry it anymore." He was so raw, it took her breath away.

"I don't hate them for dying or my Dad, I don't blame him anymore, I don't think I really ever did, I was just a scared little boy. I don't hate Pops for dying now either. He lived his whole life for us, he made sure we were all okay and loved and happy but all he wanted to do was see MiMi again. All he wanted was to see Polly one more time. He's there with them and I hope he's happy." Quinn just let his tears fall. "I'm still going to miss him though; I wasn't ready to say goodbye."

"He knew didn't he?"

"He did and I like that, that he was ready. He met Addy, he met you and I am so glad he did."

"I'm honoured that I got to spend so much time with him, getting to know him and learning about you. It was beautiful watching him with Addy too. I can't wait to see you be that amazing man he raised you to be."

Alfie rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. It was Quinn's turn to prop herself up and watch over him. She placed her hand on his chest and he covered it with his. "When I met you I had so many doubts. I'd had my heart broken and suddenly there was this guy, there were a thousand people at that dinner and you talked to me. I'd listened to your sister talk about your parents, the love they had for each other and I could see how much they meant to all of you but you talked to me and not because you had to but because you wanted too, at least that's what I told myself. You went out of your way to make me feel special."

He didn't open his eyes. "You were."

"Every single day, since that night I've thought about you. There was just something that I couldn't put my finger on. I wondered what it would be like to kiss you, be touched by you, to be with you. I crashed head long into loving you and I don't regret one single moment. You always said your life was messy. Loving you isn't messy; it's fun, it's hard and it's easy, it's emotional, it's challenging, it's heart stoppingly beautiful and tear inducingly painful and it's all I ever wanted and more."

"I crashed head long into loving you too."

"I love you so much Alfie, so much it makes my heart skip a beat every morning and every night. I don't want to imagine life without you in it. I like life with you, it's perfectly chaotically beautiful. You and Adelaide are everything."

Returning the favour Quinn dipped her finger in the whiskey glass and wiped it over his lips and kissed him slowly. "You make me feel…" she tried to find the right word. "…finished. I feel I am finished with you. Like this is me now, complete."

They touched each other, kissed each other, talked and held on. For three hours, on the floor they did everything but have sex. It was emotional, it was passionate and intimate.

Their relationship had moved quickly but it felt right.

They talked about Adelaide. "I'm sorry she pushed you away."

"Alfie, she didn't know. Addy was struggling, she's four, she's had her world ripped apart twice in little more than a year. You've always been her centre, since the moment I met you I can see that. Sure, I wished that it was different, I wanted to help her because I love her and couldn't bear to see her hurting but she needed you and that is far more important than my stupid pride and ego."

"It's not stupid."

"I know, it hurt, I'm not going to lie but it was also incredible watching you both together. She's an amazing little girl, I adore her and I adore you and from the very beginning it was such a big part of why I fell in love with you. You as a father is beautiful, I'm glad I got to see it, I'm glad I get to see it every day."

"She loves you so much. She was always asking me when we could go see Quinn and when I told her that we were all going to live together she wanted it to happen that day."

"Well, why wouldn't she, I'm awesome."

"Extremely. I had all these doubts for so long, when I first bought her back here. How could I ever find someone who wanted to take on me, this tortured being with a crazy little three year old? I thought they are going to run a million miles and that's why I struggled to find a way to tell you. That night, when you ran out of the bar my heart sank. I thought, this is it, this is what life will be for me. Me and Addy, that's it. I was desperate for you to give me a chance. I felt it, even then. I felt this." He rested his hand on her chest, over her heart. "I wanted more, but I didn't dare dream of all this. You own me and I really like that feeling."

"Me too."

"I was embarrassed too and I hate that there is three years of Addy's life that I didn't know about, the photos don't fill that void. I should know, it's the same for Iris, as much as we tell her Mom and Dad loved her she never felt it, or doesn't remember feeling it. I can't tell Addy I always loved her because I didn't know about her and that will always hurt."

Quinn held his hand on her chest. "That's always going to hurt Baby, you can't change the past. You know this, you never regretted spending that time with Pops. Tell me, if you'd known about Addy, if you'd know Jedda was pregnant would you have come back?"

"No."

"Then that's all that matters. If you'd known about her you would have been there for her. And when you found out how long did it take you to decide to go get her?"

"In an instant."

"Baby, that's a good thing. You adore her, you are fierce, she's safe and loved and happy. Sure the past week has been rough because she was scared about not being with you, that's how much you mean to her. She won't remember feeling her mother's love, like Bug doesn't, but she will always remember how much you loved her. She feels it every day."

"I don't want her to lose anyone else that she loves. So stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere Alfred…" Quinn lifted his hand and kissed his palm and smiled sweetly. "…except maybe to the bedroom. You pinky promised to help me out of my clothes. I need to feel you, all of you. I need to be connected to you. You need to make love to me."

He may have had all these uncertainties swirling around inside him but that didn't stop him being strong.

They took their time, they'd rushed into loving each other, they weren't about to rush this moment. It was incredibly intense, reaching highs they'd never hit before and falling deeper into their future together.

"Oh god." Quinn gasped searching for his lips.

"Fuck, I breathe because of you." He muttered against her lips. He knew that this was his wife, he was going to marry her. Now just wasn't the time. They had both agreed that right now Addy was their focus, she deserved all the support she needed to make her feel safe and secure. Mae's baby was also important, that baby was going to heal them. He didn't want Quinn to be lost in all that, she deserved her fairy tale.


	58. The Incident

_**Time to lighten the mood after a couple of heavy chapters & what's one of my stories about this family without some utter chaos?**_

"Daddy." Adelaide shrieked. She had been waiting for him to come pick her up after work. She'd been at Lola's all day, along with Poppy who had come over to give Mae a break. She was exhausted at the moment and Poppy was a busy littler beaver, this baby couldn't come quick enough for all of them. "There's been an incident."

He'd barely got through the door. "A what?"

"The shit hit the fan."

"Whoa Adelaide, language please." He sighed. She was prone to repeating everything she heard lately.

"Sorry." Addy grabbed his hand; she was literally jumping out of her skin. The house was strangely quiet and he was concerned. "It all went to hell."

"Okay." He tried not to laugh. "Take a breath Adelaide and calm down."

She stopped and took a deep breath but it didn't help, it just delayed things. "It's C…RAZY here." She threw her head back wildly. They had long been well aware that Adelaide had the flair for the dramatic.

"What happened?"

"Sam lost his bundle. Billy had Emu and Sam tried to get it back and his head came off…" Her voice shot up at the end as she shrieked. She was way too excited by all this. "…Billy pulled his head right off."

"Oh dear. How's Emu?"

"He was in bits."

"What about Sam? How's Sam?"

"He's off the chain." Alfie was way too amused by Addy's excitement and it was hard not to laugh. "He pushed Billy over, there was yelling and crying and Billy was lying on the floor going nuts…..nuts."

"Can I ask what you were doing?"

"Poppy and me were just watching." She insisted. "We didn't touch them. There was stuff everywhere, like Emu's brains fell out." Addy was weirdly excited. He was pretty sure it wouldn't be such an exciting event if Ed was on the receiving end of the decapitation. It would have been an International emergency and he would have got a call.

"Where's Poppy now?"

"Mae came and got her. Lola is upstairs with Billy." She pointed up to the bedrooms. "Lola was angry she yelled at Sam and at Billy. Poppy and me did nothing." She was making it very clear that she was a witness to this incident and not a participant. "We didn't do anything. I promise, we were Djindas."

Addy wasn't wrong, the shit had hit the fan. Big time.

Sam, Poppy and Addy were sitting down having a picnic in the lounge room. They had cookies that they had helped make and some milk and were giggling about god knows what, right up until Billy appeared with Emu. Sam had bought him downstairs to play with Addy's Echidna and Poppy's Quokka. It had been very cute as they made up funny voices and chased each other around with their toys. Poppy and Addy had diligently put theirs up on the table out of Billy's line of sight but Sam ignored his mother's warning to keep everything out of Billy's reach. He was a devil at the moment, now that he was walking his arms where permanently stretched up over his head trying to get at things deliberately placed out of his reach.

They had told Sam over and over again to put things out of Billy's way but he just ignored them to his own peril. Billy also loved being wherever Sam was and was always in his room. They'd had a fight over Emu before and Sam had been told to keep him away from Billy so it was hard to feel sorry for him when he left him lying around.

Until the head came off. Then Lola felt sorry for him.

The screaming had bought Lola out of the kitchen, where she was still cleaning up after the cookie making. "No it's mine. Let go." Sam screeched. Billy had a death like grip on Emu's head. "Let go, William."

"No, mine." Billy wasn't really much of a talker, Sam did most of the talking for him but he did have a few choice words and no was one of them. "NO"

Lola was mortified when she walked in, it was like slow motion. Sam gave one really hard tug on Emu and Billy tumbled backwards. Lola rushed forward, fearing that Billy would bang his head. That wasn't the issue, he landed on his bottom, well-padded with his diaper it was the flutter of stuffing in the air and Sam's blood curdling scream that caused the most drama. Sam was left holding the body and Billy let go of the head which flung across the room and rolled under the chair.

Sam lunged at Billy, pushing him onto his back and the shock started him crying. The two boys were at it, well Sam was at his brother & Billy was just lying there. Sam was hysterical and Billy was screaming just as loud. Poppy and Addy were motionless. They just sat still and watched it all unfold and did not say a word.

"He's dead, you killed him." Sam sobbed. "I hate you."

"Sam." Lola grabbed his arm as he went to push his brother again. "Enough."

"Emu's dead."

"He's not dead. We will fix him."

"He broke him, Billy broke him." Sam was heartbroken. "He's dead."

"Hey, Mommy will fix him."

"Can you call Daddy? He's a Doctor, he'll fix Emu." It was a little bit cute and a little bit frustrating that Sam just saw Lola as his Mommy while Daddy was obviously a Doctor who could fix anything. His Mommy was the safe arms he always sought; his Daddy was his fixer.

"I can fix him."

"No, Daddy's a Doctor, you are just my Mom."

Billy was clawing up his mother's leg which annoyed Sam. He felt he deserved all the attention. "Go away William." Sam lashed out at him. He didn't often call him William and it was usually never good when he did. "I hate you."

"Sam. Stop it." Lola grabbed his arm again. "Don't hit your brother. We don't hit each other and do not ever let me hear you say you hate your brother again. You know better. Now, I want you to sit up on the couch and take a moment to calm down." She was having none of it.

He threw himself on the couch while Lola collected the pieces of Emu. She did feel horrible for Sam, she did remember fighting over her Leopard with Mae, Alfie and Iris had also fought over her leopard and ripped his leg off. It was a terrible feeling so she had some idea of how Sam was feeling. Billy was clueless to what he'd done, he was just a toddler. They'd warned Sam but now wasn't the time to say _'I told you so'_

Once Billy had calmed down Poppy and Addy were happy to play with him. They seemed to know when it was best to stay out of things. This was a good time to just sit quietly and play.

Lola sat down with Sam, cuddling her little heartbroken boy. "Sam, sweetheart. We'll fix Emu, I promise. You know, Alfie and Bug ripped my Leopards leg off once."

"Did you fix it?"

"My Mom did and you couldn't even tell he'd been broken. Emu will be as good as new I promise."

"I'm so, so sad." He sobbed into his mother's lap.

"I know Sam, poor little man. We'll fix Emu." Lola rubbed her devastated boy's back gently until he calmed down. Seeing his little chest heaving was gut-wrenching.

By the time that Mae arrived things had settled down although Emu was still lying in tatters on the kitchen bench. "Please tell me my child didn't do this?" Mae picked up the two pieces. She'd briefly talked to Poppy on the way in but she was busy playing with Addy to pay much attention to her mother. Billy was asleep, thankfully and peace had been restored although Sam was still miserable.

"Nope, my two crackheads were the sole perpetrators of this Incident."

"Did Sam lose it?"

"He dropped his bundle; all hell broke loose." Lola picked up the two pieces of Emu. "And holy crap, did the shit hit the fan. Billy had a tight grip on him and when Sam tried to get him back it was a fight to the death obviously and Emu lost."

Mae laughed when they heard Addy gasp. She'd come in to get a drink and Lola and Mae both just stared at her for a moment. They had no idea how much she had heard. Lola gave her a drink and she scuttled away and both of them were pretty sure that Addy was going to remember every single word.

"Anyway, Sam wants me to call Riley and get him to come home and operate, because you know he's a Doctor and I am just a Mom."

"Cute."

Lola scowled; you'd think she'd be used to it by now but Sam just had too much boy in him. "I'm so proud of my misogynistic son."

"Poor Sam."

"Yes." Lola waved her hand. "I do feel sorry for him, it was horrific. I remember when Alfie and Iris fought over my Leopard and pulled his leg off."

"That was pretty epic." The look Lola shot Mae was enough for Mae to drop it. She obviously wasn't ready to joke about it.

"Anyway, how are you? Did you get a rest?"

"Pfft hardly, as soon as I lie down it starts squirming. I did get some washing done, sorted out baby clothes and all that shit. It better be a girl, everything is pink. George's Mom went crazy when Poppy was born."

"She'll go crazy again when the Nut arrives, don't worry." Lola leant over and rubbed Mae's belly. "I've got lots of Billy's stuff if Nut has nuts."

"You'll need it, you'll have Riley on the tools the moment I push it out."

"After today…no thank you. I'm not running the risk of bringing more testosterone into this tent."

"It might be a Queen."

"Pfft…I'm not that lucky."

By the time Alfie arrived things had calmed down. Poppy had gone home, Sam was watching TV, he was too sad to do anything else apparently and Addy was now with him, she'd talked to Lola for a little while about how they were going to fix Emu. Lola had disappeared upstairs when Billy woke and hadn't reappeared yet leaving Addy to go in search of Sam, she really did like talking and Sam wasn't up for it but that didn't stop Addy, she just talked anyway. The boy could sulk like nobody's business so Addy tried to cheer him up.

"You can borrow my giraffe just until Emu is fixed." She offered sweetly. Lola stood quietly at the bottom of the stairs and listened to Addy try and comfort Sam. It was beautiful to watch.

"It's not the same."

"I know." Addy sat up beside her cousin. "Emu will be okay; Lola is very clever. Daddy said she's a Doctor too and she fixed me when I was sick."

"My Daddy will fix him when he comes home."

"Billy is very silly isn't he?"

"Yes." Sam huffed. He wiped the tears off his cheeks angrily. "He's terrible sometimes."

"I hope when I have a brother or sister it's not as silly as Baby Billy."

"I hope so too." Sam shook his head sadly. "I hope Poppy's baby is not silly. I can't do silly anymore."

"It's exhausted." Addy sighed and flopped against the back of the couch. Addy and Sam's conversations were always amusing. Their friendship was beautiful to see as it developed. It had come a long way in a short space of time. Sam was a friendly little boy and had taken Addy under his wing from the very first day they met. The way he helped her when Pops died was the sweetest thing ever. He'd made his parents proud, now the tables were turned at little and it was lovely to see Addy being there for Sam.

"It really is." Sam hugged his knees to his chest. "Will you still be my friend when you have a baby?"

Addy sighed dramatically. "Well I'll be busy, but I think so."

"I'd like to be your friend still."

"Like FBB?" Lola chuckled she could listen to them all day. Addy obviously meant BFF's and Lola really hoped they would always be friends, they were the sweetest little things.

"Ah huh." Sam nodded. "You'll have to hide Ed though, when you get your baby." Alfie and Quinn were very aware that the pressure was on. Addy wanted a brother or sister and told them constantly. It had only ramped up since Mae's pregnancy.

"I'll buy my baby its own Ed."

"It can't have an Ed, it has to be different."

"Oh…" She thought about it for a moment. "…a koala, 'cos they are 'raborigine' like me." Apparently anything from Australia was aboriginal.

"Do you like being a 'raborigine?"

Addy nodded. "Uh huh."

Lola left them to it, they were watching TV now and Sam had perked up a little and they were watching a show about talking fruit and giggling away.

Alfie was still laughing at Addy's descriptive review of the day's events when Lola came down with Billy, she handed him to his Uncle. "I've heard you've had a busy day William?" Alfie loved calling him William and Addy scoffed at him _'his name is Billy.'_

Alfie thanked her and sent her on her way. "So, I've had Addy's slightly hysterical version of events." He followed Lola into the kitchen.

"Slightly?" Lola chuckled a little manically. "It was a full on, three alarm fuckening."

"So? She wasn't lying. The shit did hit the fan?"

"Did she say that?"

"Yes, yes she did. A little too enthusiastically. Also mentioned hell a few times, that Sam lost his bundle and that Emu's brains flew out." Alfie sat up waiting for Lola to make him a coffee. Billy wormed and wiggled his way out of his arms and set off in search of the kids. Lola cringed; she was waiting for World War Three. Sam was not happy with Billy, at all.

"Jesus, she's your daughter isn't she."

Lola slid the coffee in front of her brother. "She is, I'm proud. So what happened?"

"Billy found Emu lying on the floor and snaffled it, Sam was having none of it and Billy wouldn't let go. His head came off, all hell broke loose, Sam was hysterical, Billy was hysterical because Sam pushed him over. There was screaming, pushing, stuffing flying around, heads rolling…it was chaos." Not only did Addy have a flair for the dramatic but so did Lola.

"And Addy?"

"You and Mae are exactly the same, just worried about your offspring's involvement."

Alfie shrugged; he wasn't going to deny it. "So?"

"Addy had nothing to do with it. The girls just sat and watched it all unfold. She was talking to Sam a little while ago trying to cheer him up, she offered to let him have her giraffe and it was all very sweet.

"She didn't offer up Ed?"

"Oh god no, that was not happening. Once the shit went down, Ed was put up way out of Billy's reach. Addy was having none of that." Alfie wasn't surprised that Addy would've been worried about Ed, she loved that thing.

"Addy would have sacrificed giraffe to protect Ed, she would sacrifice my giraffe for Ed." Alfie found it all very amusing. They could laugh now, it was no laughing matter when he was growing up and Lola took his giraffe. "I might suggest she leaves Ed at home in future."

"After today, I think she'd agree."

The thought of being able to tell Quinn the story got Addy all revved up again, she couldn't wait until she got home to tell her and was disappointed when Alfie told them they weren't leaving yet. Quinn was working late so they stayed for dinner at Lola's. He was looking forward to the spectacle, it could go either way.

As soon as Riley walked through the door Sam was at him, despite Lola fixing Emu he wanted to tell his Dad what Billy had done. "He ripped off his head." The tears were epic as he sobbed into his Daddy's shoulder.

Addy wasn't helping, she was way too into this. "His brains went everywhere..." She flung her arms around dramatically. "..And his head rolled away." Alfie sighed. Adelaide was such a drama queen and Sam just burrowed further into his Dad's shoulder and told Addy to _'stop talking about it.'_

"Mom's fixed Emu now." Riley had a good look at him. He had been amused by Lola's entertaining stream of text messages that he'd been receiving all afternoon.

"Can you check? He needs a Doctor."

"Mommy's a Doctor."

"Not a good one though."

Fuck, kids could be brutal, luckily Lola wasn't around. They didn't care about other people's feelings; they hadn't realised the power of words just yet. They were honest, way too honest some days. Not that he had any idea about things like that. Lola was a damn good Doctor; staff, parents and kids all loved her.

Alfie wasn't touching that one. Riley dived in though, arguing his mother was better than him. He just dealt with old people, his mother was good with little people and broken Emu's. "I think Mom has fixed him perfectly. Where's Billy now?"

"In the bath." Sam declared, his lip almost curling in disgust. "I'm not having a bath with him. I am so angry with him. I'm going to shower with you." The piece of information pleased Riley no end.

They sent them both on their way.

"Awesome." Riley would love nothing more than having to shower with Sam. He was a giant pain in the ass in the shower. He high fived his son and then opened the fridge and pulled out two beers handing one to his brother-in-law and the kids scooted away. "Sounds like a good day."

"Not sure Lola Bear agrees. She's been talking about a fuckening."

"That's not a term I've heard in a while." Riley leant on the bench and took a long pull on his beer. "Also I have a stream of messages detailing, in graphic terms what she is planning to do to me during my sleep to ensure there are no more children and it's not good man." He shook his head. "Man, Billy is full of piss and fire."

"Like Sam isn't?"

"True."

"Dadda." Billy came charging into the kitchen. "Dadda." He flung himself at his Dad and Riley scooped him up.

"Hey, I've heard you've had a big day Wild Billy." He kissed his cheek and snuggled into his neck. He loved the smell of him when he was all clean in his pyjamas ready for bed. "Causing trouble."

He gave Lola a kiss as she passed. It was nice to be home in time for dinner, it didn't always happen. He was due for a holiday; he hadn't had time off since Billy was born. Life got busy, he was studying right now and only had a couple more months until he was a fully-fledged Oncologist. Hopefully things would get a little less hectic then. They hoped to sail up to the Beach House, spend a week chilling out and then make their way back once his final exams were over. Lola was nervous about having Sam and Billy on board, they were going to need eyes in the back of their heads but they wanted the boys to enjoy sailing. "They are both all yours. I've had enough of them today." She poured herself a wine. "Fucking crackheads. You can fuck off with your Y chromosomes."

Riley just laughed; she was definitely pissed. "Didn't Alfie and Bug destroy your Leopard?"

"Yes, yes they did. I didn't talk to them for weeks. Friggin' assholes. It was all Alfie's fault." Lola was over it.

"Hey, Whoa, what did I do? I was just saving him from Bug's sticky fingers."

"You were waving him at Bug, taunting me because you were an annoying little shithead, which was a daily occurrence I might add."

"And what's the rest of that story Charlotte?" Alfie teased her and Riley laughed, he'd long got used to Lola and her siblings insanity, there was always more to the story. "What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"You stole my giraffe and hid him. For three days I thought I'd lost him forever. I cried myself to sleep every night. I knew you did it. Dad's head exploded when he found out."

"He did, didn't he. I actually thought he was going to keel over." Lola laughed. "Mae found out and dobbed on me, Dad went nuts. I had to apologise, I had to make your bed for a week."

"He should have taken your Leopard away for three days. That's what I would have done."

"You'd do that to Addy?"

"Shit no, that's just cruel."

Alfie was glad he wasn't the only one that was concerned about Addy's weird excitement over the Emu slaughter. Quinn just looked amused as Addy flung her arms around, bounced up and down as it literally exploded out of her. "His head just like flew off." Addy shrieked. "Sam was crying, I tried to cheer him up but he was so so sad. Billy was so naughty. I hid Ed, so he couldn't get him. It was amazing."

"Amazing? Poor Sam."

"He lost his bundle." Addy still didn't get it right, Alfie laughed though. She was just so excited. "Lola fixed him, she's a Doctor you know." Quinn was helping Addy get ready for her bath, they were hoping it might calm her down a little.

"I know. I am sure she did a good job."

"When I get a baby I won't let it play with Ed. They can have a Koala, that's 'raborigine. Sam thinks that's a good idea. Do you think that's a good idea?" She was hopping from foot to foot waiting for the bath to fill.

"Oh Addy, that's very sweet of you."

"Am I getting a baby soon?"

"Not yet Sweetheart, but hopefully one day."

"Poppy gets her baby soon. If she doesn't like it can we have it?"

"Mae, George and Poppy will love their baby but we can visit."

Quinn held her hand as she climbed into the bath. "What else did you do today?"

"We make cookies and then ate them all." Finally she seemed to be on another topic but it was only a brief respite. "That's when Billy stole Emu and pulled his head off, it went under the chair and Lola had to pick up his brains and squash it back in his head."

"Well that's no good."

"It's okay, Emu is fixed now. It was all such a bother." Addy sighed and Quinn had to work hard not to laugh.

The bath did nothing to help, Addy was on some serious crack at the moment. Addy was a law unto herself and even when she was cleaning her teeth she was still talking about it, pausing only briefly to mutter 'holy crap' when the toothpaste slid off her toothbrush. She told her Dad she was too excited to sleep and he had to work hard to get her to calm down.

"Was that weird?" When Alfie took Addy to bed and she was still going on about it. Ed was tightly tucked into her arm _'in case Billy steals him' _Alfie reminded her that Billy wasn't actually here and that no one was going to steal Ed from her. Quinn was folding some washing. It was a never ending pile, Addy went through clothes like nobody else and they'd often see her in three or four different outfits a day. "Addy was weirdly excited by that."

"She was."

"I'm concerned. It almost seemed evil."

"She's not evil, idiot."

"No? How many times has she talked about brains tonight and heads coming off?"

"Addy is just excited by any action, she's an action junkie. How was she when Billy climbed up on the table? She talked about it for days. She just loves to be in the thick of it."

"I know." He flopped down on the couch. "It was funny as all shit. She was hilarious, Lola is drinking, Riley is copping shit for only giving her Y chromosomes and is to terrified to go to sleep because Lola's apparently going to de-nut him."

"So just a normal night then." She rolled her eyes and threw a pile of clothes at him to fold.

"Ha, yep." He couldn't argue with that. It wasn't unusual behaviour for his family. "Lola did also say she was very sweet though, offering Sam her giraffe just until Emu was fixed and told him that she'd still be his BFF when she gets a baby, although she'll be very busy."

"Her and her bloody baby."

"She's obsessed."

"I'm obsessed with you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss.

Addy was obsessed with baby's and everyone knew it. George had been her recent target, the girl was going to surely be a politician, they'd never seen a kid work an angle like Addy did. She was on a mission.

"George." Addy siddled up to him before dinner. "Can you take my Dad to that shop?" she opened her argument carefully.

"What shop?"

"Where you bought Mae's baby? He can buy one for us." It was not what he was expecting, despite Poppy asking all sorts of strange things, Addy was in a league of her own.

"You can't buy a baby Adelaide, you have to make one." Technically you could buy a baby but they weren't going there. God knows what Addy would do with that information, it would blow her mind and then she'd spend forty forever's begging her Dad to buy her a baby.

"Oh." She thought about that for a moment. "Can you tell him how to make one?"

George playfully touched her nose, they all adored and embraced Addy's craziness. She was the perfect fit for this circus. "He knows. He made you and you are perfect."

"I think he's forgotten." He saw the tears glistening in her eyes and George helped her up onto his lap. It was all she wanted and she was desperate and more than content to ask anyone who sat still for long enough what she had to do. They actually worried that she would steal one given half the chance. Mae's baby was under real threat of a larceny.

"I will talk to Daddy for you." He promised. It was easier this way, or so he thought. Addy seemed satisfied for now. For a brief moment he imagined a way too intense discussion about sex that he wasn't ready for. Poppy was still oblivious to the finer details of her mother's pregnancy and how the baby got in there or how they'd get it out and he was happy with that.

"Now?"

"Not right now."

He didn't expect it at dinner, although perhaps he should have, she was a Hollister after all. "Daddy." As soon as Addy opened her mouth George knew what was coming. "George said he'd show you how to make another baby. I think you've forgotten."

Iris literally spat her dinner across the table. Mae just looked at her husband. "Oh I am interested in this." Quinn wasn't touching it and neither was Lola. Alfie and George were on their own.

"Thank you Adelaide, I think we'll be fine."

"Do you remember? You made me, you didn't buy me."

"I know Addy."

"George is very good at it, he's made two." Addy continued. "You should just check." She looked at her Uncle. "How did you learn it?"

"I just did, Mae taught me." George dropped himself in it big time and everyone just sat back and enjoyed the show. "She's very good too."

"Really George, do tell?" Colton topped up George's glass. "I want to learn."

"Yay…" Addy shrieked. "Then Bug can get a baby too."

"Go on." Mae wasn't saving her husband, that wasn't how these things worked. He'd dug his own hole.

"I know." Sam finally inserted himself into the conversation unfortunately, he could never stay out of things for long. "You kiss lots, and cuddle in bed and that makes a baby."

"No it doesn't." Addy argued. "I'm not having a baby and I cuddled you in bed."

"We weren't nude." Sam sounded exasperated as only an almost five year old could be. Nobody wanted to deal with the sleeping in the nude discussion. Everybody just avoided eye contact although Iris struggled to stop herself laughing.

"What about in the bath, we were nude then." Addy countered.

"Nuh ah….we didn't kiss." Sam reminded her and weirdly Addy got it, the look on her face was like a lightbulb going on.

"Oh." She sighed. "Bugger."

Everyone looked at George, this was his disaster and he needed to nip it in the bud but no one was going to come to his rescue. "It's a lot more than that."

"Like what?" Alfie wasn't keen to let him off the hook yet.

"Well, Alfred…." George had had enough and Addy laughed. She knew her Daddy was in trouble when someone called him Alfred. "…how far do you want this to go?"

"All the way." Iris cheered. "All the way." Alfie just glared at her and pointed his fork in her direction to shut her up.

"Well Adelaide, you know how boy's have….."

"Alright." Alfie really didn't need him to continue. "..thanks George. Thank you Adelaide. I don't need George's help to show me how to make a baby. I think we will manage without George's help."

"But…" Alfie held up his hand to stop Addy's rebuttal and she stopped talking.

Until she went to bed though and she just checked one more time that her Daddy knew how to make a baby. "Yes Adelaide, I remember, now I think we should stop talking about it."

"Does Quinn know?"

"Yes, she does. Now enough for now please. It's sleep time."

"Okay. Night night Daddy Alfie, I love you." It was like she always had to get the last word in and Alfie chuckled when Addy sighed. "Dad I hope I dream of my baby."

Life was crazy with Addy and they loved every minute of it. You never knew what you were going to get each day, except love. She always told them that she loved them. Every day.

Now if they could just sort out that baby issue for her, she'd be really happy.


	59. Filling the Tent

Mae was pissed. She was pissed at everyone and didn't they know it. Most of her rage was directed at her husband and he coped both barrels of Ruzek-Hollister 'charm' when she ticked over 8 hours of labour. Added to the fact that she was four days overdue and it was ugly for everyone involved. George was pretty sure the midwives were doing rock, paper, scissors to see who had to break the news to Mae that she still wasn't dilated enough. These women were saints.

It was slow going and after her last effort of a quick thirty minute labour four weeks early as soon as Mae started having contractions they headed to the hospital. They did not expect to be here seven hours later… still waiting.

Poppy was with Alfie and Quinn and happily playing with Addy. Lola had been in a few times to check on her and they had even gone for an hour long walk around the grounds to try and hurry things up to no avail.

"Don't fucking touch me." Mae slapped his hand away. "You touching me caused this. Never fucking again." He was helping her out of the shower. Just a few minutes ago he was rubbing her back as she had a contraction and she had commented how nice it felt. They were getting closer together and more intense and Mae was getting more erratic.

"I'm starting to feel unloved."

"Good." She hissed at him.

"Well I love you."

"Fuck you."

"I still love you."

"You are annoying me. Go do something useful for a change. Get somebody to come cut this fucker out."

"Can we not call our baby a fucker?"

"Fine, go and find someone to cut my fucker of a husband's child out of me." Mae grabbed his arm in a death grip as she bent over and groaned loudly.

Finally they were nearing the end and that was a relief, not only so that Mae would stop abusing the crap out of George but they were starting to talk to them about giving her a caesarean, which was the last thing she wanted but they were willing to do whatever it took to get their baby out safely. The first sign of fetal distress and George would pull the pin on the natural birth. He knew Mae would want him to make sure they were both safe even if in the moment she begged him not too.

Twenty minutes later, they were finally holding their healthy baby. They decided to break her water first to see if that got things going and it did. "Can you call someone?" Mae gritted her teeth as she felt a sudden increase in pressure within minutes of the midwife leaving. She had only been seven centimetres dilated when they checked and thought this would move things along but they didn't expect it this quickly.

"Why?"

"Oh I don't know, perhaps because I have a baby trying to shoot out of me."

"Now?"

"Well yes now. I swear I have no idea how you figured out how to knock me up sometimes."

"I just point and shoot."

She snarled at him to get someone. The look on the midwife's face when she came in was priceless and George had to help her put on the gown while she had her hands on the crowing head. "Okay, Mae you don't hang around do you?"

"Except for the last eight hours." George wasn't helping his cause much at all. He was hoping Mae was too distracted to hear his nervous joke. Last time he turned up and Mae was already pushing, this was new for him and he was scared shitless and the longer it went on the more nervous he became.

She heard it. "Oh, it's been so friggin' hard for you, my heart bleeds."

Five very intense minutes later George peered down between Mae's legs at the baby in the midwife's hands. "Oh, it's a boy." Mae certainly knew how to get a baby out in a very short space of time, once she started pushing it was all over very quickly.

"Really?"

"Well done Mom. Here he is." The midwife told George to pull down Mae's gown and she lay the mightily pissed off baby on her chest. "He looks good and he's loud."

George kissed her temple, neither of them taking their eyes off their boy. He was wailing and clawing at his mother's skin. Mae had a hand on his back and was stroking his cheek with the other, willing him to find her breast. She wanted him to feed even though he was barely minutes old. When Poppy fed she finally felt like her mother, up until then it was all a little surreal. She wanted her boy to know that she'd take care of him.

"Wow, we make perfect babies don't we?" George was in awe of his son when he grunted, rooted around and got a nipple in his mouth. He wasn't sure what to do with it but he kept trying and eventually managed to suck a little but he was more interested in crying than anything else.

"I think so." George seemed to be back in Mae's good books.

Their little boy was perfect and much bigger than his sister at 8lbs 2ozs. Compared to Poppy he was a giant. "No wonder he wouldn't come out." George was a little surprised as he stood by the examination cot and watched as he was given the once over and got a clean bill of health. Once he was weighed he got his first cuddle as he took him back to his mother. "There you go sweet boy, cuddle your mom." He kissed Mae's upturned face, "I forgive you for your abuse because I love you even more than I thought humanly possible." He took some photos ready to send to let everyone know he was here but they called Alfie first so they could talk to Poppy.

They put it on video and Alfie let Poppy answer the call. "Hi Daddy."

"Hey beautiful. I miss you, are you having fun?" Poppy nodded enthusiastically. "Look what Mommy's got."

"Oh," she gasped. "…a bubba. Is my bubba?"

"It is your brother, it's a boy. That's what you wanted right?"

"Yay." She clapped, dropping the phone. Addy was all up in the business too and she was jumping up and down and that got Poppy going too. They were both excited and didn't give two hoots about the phone or George.

Alfie scrambled to pick it up. "Sorry about that. So he's a he?"

"He is. Took his sweet time but he's all good. Came out screaming, has had a go at feeding and seems to like the boobs and is busy checking us out to make sure we are suitable." Mae was too busy watching her little boy as he looking at her wide eyed so George had to do all the talking. Poppy and Addy had finally stopped carrying on like pork chops and now Poppy was leaning on one of Alfie's arm watching the screen and Addy was hanging off the other. She wasn't missing this for love nor money. This was apparently the best thing that had ever happened to her, although that changed almost daily.

"How's Monkey?"

"I'm good Alfie, tired but happy and in one piece." She finally dragged her eyes away from the baby. "Hey gorgeous girl, I miss you Poppy. Can Alfie bring you in to meet your brother? I really want to see you and give you lots a kisses and hugs. I miss you so much."

He promised to bring her in. Addy was unimpressed when she had to stay home. She huffed, full of attitude and threw herself on the couch and crossed her arms angrily across her chest. She felt she had earned the right to go and see the baby seeing as she _'looked after Poppy…All day' _and when bad attitude didn't work she tried begging; _'I really really like babies.'_

Addy hadn't let up about the baby thing. She wanted one too. Sam had recently told her she couldn't have a baby because you had to have a Mom 'and you don't have one.' He wasn't being obnoxious and he wasn't mean when he said it. It was a confusing concept for them to understand. Sam had been told at school that you needed a Mom and a Dad to have a baby and Addy had a Dad and a Quinn so in his little brain that meant that Addy was out of luck. Nonetheless Addy was upset.

She had come home in tears.

"What's wrong?" Alfie had been surprised when she launched herself at him when he got home and sobbed her heart out. He looked at Quinn who didn't know what to say. Addy had told her why she was upset and she hadn't expected it, they hadn't really had that conversation yet, it was always a very vague conversation about having a baby and usually when Addy bought it up. They knew that they were happy together but with everything that had gone on with Adam and Addy being so unsettled for a while they hadn't really talked about putting a timeline on anything. They were just settling into life again.

"Sam says I can't have a baby brother or sister because I don't have a Mum and you need a mum and a dad to have a baby." Seemingly Sam had moved on from the sleeping and kissing in the nude to make a baby train of thought. Apparently Riley drew the short straw and had explained some things to him which he was thoroughly unimpressed with.

"Oh Darlin'."

"Daddy, I want a baby too." She had seen Sam with Billy, Poppy was getting a brother or sister soon and her friends at school all had brothers or sisters. "You have sisters. You don't have a Mum and Dad."

"Addy, it's okay. One day you will have a baby brother or sister, I promise."

"How?"

"Well Daddy loves Quinn and maybe we will get married and have a baby."

"Will that be my brother or sister?"

"It will."

"Tomorrow?"

"No not tomorrow." He laughed but he hugged her tight. "I love you so much Addy and Quinn loves you too."

"Will Quinn be my Mum?"

"Yes, if that's what you want."

They didn't talk about it until Addy was well and truly in bed. "Addy was just checking if she's getting a baby soon, like tomorrow." Alfie flopped down beside Quinn who was reading a text book. She was in the middle of a Professional Development course and had an exam in a few days.

"You told her how it works right? She knows how long Poppy has been waiting for Mae to 'grow her bubba'?"

"I try not to get into details with her."

"You can't avoid it forever."

"Let's not forget who I grew up with? She'll learn whether I want her to or not. Unless we are suddenly moving to Siberia they will get to her." Alfie leant over and closed the book in her lap. "I want to talk."

"We are talking."

"Quinn, let's get real. I want three things. I want to marry you, I want to have babies with you and I want you to adopt Addy and be her Mum." Alfie's nervousness got the better of him and he just blurted it out. It was unromantically romantic. It was not how she expected this to go but she loved every word that came out of his mouth.

"Wow."

"I'm usually better than this. It's wasn't very smooth was it?" He screwed up his nose, a touch embarrassed by his ham fisted attempt at proposing, if you could even call it that. It sounded more like an order than a proposal.

"Better at proposing? How many proposals have you done?"

"Well none…this was my first." Alfie was flustered all of a sudden and it was cute. "I meant smooth talking you, I'm usually better at that."

"Well yes you are but you know what? I loved it." She held both his cheeks and smiled before she kissed him. "I love you Alfie, I love Addy and I absolutely can't wait to spend my life with you. My life is with you."

"And adopting Addy?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes I am. Jedda isn't here and never will be but you are and you are already filling that role in her life, she adores you and she wants a Mum. I could not think of anyone better to be her Mum, to fulfil her dreams, you blow me away every day watching you love Adelaide. I want her to be our daughter. I love what you've bought to her life and mine. I want you to be her Mum and I want to see you be a Mum to your own little baby, I want us to have a baby together." Alfie begged her, if he was one things he was passionate and emotional.

Quinn was crying, he wasn't surprised and he lifted her chin so that she would look him in the eye. "Marry us? Be my wife, be Addy's Mum. Let's make our family."

"Yes."

Alfie got a little concerned about Addy's excitement when he took her shopping for present for Quinn. He had his mother's engagement ring to give her and he knew that she'd love it but he wanted Addy to give her something too. She picked out the biggest diamond she could find, it was ridiculously expensive. It took all his negotiating skills to talk her down to a small pendant and explain to her that he had a ring already. Alfie drilled her all day about what to say and made her practice before Quinn got home.

"Quinn. I bought you a present." She presented it with a flourish and got down on one knee while Alfie was videoing it and you couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "You and Daddy get married." she giggled nervously. She'd forgotten what Alfie had told her to ask and it was more a demand than a question, like father like daughter but that didn't matter. It was beautiful and Quinn had tears streaming down her face when she hugged Addy. Addy was supposed to ask Quinn to be her Mum but she was just so excited and Alfie couldn't blame her for that, he was excited too.

Addy was worried. "Why are you sad?"

"I'm not sad Addy, I'm so happy. I can't wait to marry you and your Daddy." She assured her she was anything but sad.

"I'm very happy too. Will you be my Mum?"

"Yes." She looked at Alfie who was just smiling, his eyes glistening a little.

"Do you like your present?" Addy helped her open the box. It was a small pink heart with a diamond in it. She understood the heart, Alfie's blue heart and her pink one. It was beautiful. "I'd pick it for you."

"It's beautiful, like you." Quinn kissed her cheek. "Thank you my little darling girl. I love it so much."

"Daddy has a ring for you." She blurted out and then clapped her hands over her mouth.

"Close your eyes." He pulled the ring from his pocket and slipped it onto her finger. "Perfect." He whispered and kissed her softly.

Quinn was in love with it, the three perfect diamonds side by side. "Alfie, it's beautiful."

"It was my Mum's engagement ring. Dad gave it to her when I was born."

"Oh…" she grabbed his face and kissed him as Addy clapped happily. "It's perfect, it's beautiful and so precious, like you. Thank you. I will treasure it always."

Addy's excitement made it the perfect moment, she jumped up and down and squealed. The video he sent to his sister's created a ruckus of monumental proportions and if Quinn hoped to have a quiet no fuss wedding she was sadly mistaken. Addy's hysterical dance got them all going. "Alfie and Quinn are getting married." She hollered. "And then I get a baby…..And a Mum."

Fortunately the impending arrival of Mae's new baby put their wedding on the back burner. They had a few other things to organise before then, namely Adelaide's adoption and that was a priority. It wasn't as smooth as they hoped. Addy's Indigenous background complicated things which was unexpected. Australian Law protected the rights of Indigenous children and they were not only removing her from her native heritage by giving her a non-indigenous mother but she was also not an Australian resident. It took longer than expected and Alfie was frustrated at times and at one stage he thought of flying back to sort it out. They weren't going to get married until that was sorted.

"Alfie…" Poppy was chatting away in the backseat. "…we going to see bubba?"

"Yes we are. Mommy and Daddy are waiting for you."

"Addy sad?"

"She just wants to see your Bubba too."

"It's a boy."

"It is."

"Why?"

"Why what?" Alfie did not want to go here. "Why is it a boy?"

"Yes."

He had two choices, he could drop his sister in it, like she would probably do to him in a heartbeat or chicken out. He chose option two. "Ask Daddy."

Poppy wasn't letting him off that easily though, she was curious and why was her favourite word. "Are you a boy?"

"I am."

"Why?"

He realised that there was no getting away from it. He'd learnt this with Addy, they just kept going and going and going until they got the answer. He couldn't imagine how annoying the four of them must have been for their parents. "Because I have a penis."

They always used the right names, that was drummed into them from the start. Alfie had called it a dick one day and Sam told him off. _'It's a penis Alfred.'_ He could not have sounded more annoyed with his uncle if he tried. For a long time Sam had called it a willy but he got there eventually, dick however was not acceptable for his five year old brain.

"Why?"

"Because I do, Daddy does too."

"I don't."

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because you are a girl."

"Like Mommy?"

"Yes."

"Oh…." Poppy actually clapped her hands. She was proud of herself for working it all out although he was happy she stopped short of asking why she was a girl. "Bubba has a penis?"

"Yes he does."

It was a relief to get to the hospital. He called George and so he could come and meet them. Alfie grabbed the bag out of the back seat and gave it to Poppy. It was her job to give her little brother his present. She had chosen it for him and everyone was amused by her choice.

While George took Poppy up to maternity Alfie went and found Lola and had a coffee with his sister. She was just about bursting to go and see Mae but they wanted Poppy to meet her brother first. She could understand that, Sam had been the first one to meet Billy but now the shoe was on the other foot she was impatient. "How's Poppy?"

"Excited. We spent the whole trip in talking about penises."

"Typical."

"She and Addy do okay?"

"Yep, Addy's only issue was that she had looked after her all day…which was apparently, '_a chore'_ and one in which she felt that she was now entitled to meet the baby too. She's in a foul mood at home." He was kind of glad he didn't have to deal with it, although talking to Poppy about penises made him almost wish he was at home with the snarky one.

"She does love a baby." Addy had even told her class that she was getting a Mum and a Baby and everyone started congratulating them. They thought it was about their engagement and were confused when people looked at them strangely when they asked about the big day and they told them a month of two. It took a few goes to work out that Addy had told them Quinn was pregnant and they hated breaking her heart. She was devastated and her world caved in.

"Don't we know it."

"So?"

"What?" Alfie got enough of this at home from Addy, he didn't need it from his sister too. "Ummm.. little thing about a wedding first. Quinn doesn't want to be fat in a dress."

"Quinn would look beautiful any way. Way to beautiful for you."

"Thank you. I love you too Charlotte." Alfie mocked her.

Poppy was in love. She peered at her brother in his cot. "Bubba." She cooed. "Wake up Bubba."

"Do you want a cuddle?" George was holding her up so she could see her brother.

"Yes."

"Not until you cuddle me." Mae loved that Poppy was in love with her brother but she wanted to some love from her daughter too.

She scrambled up on the bed and hugged her Mom while Mae smothered her with kisses. "Did you have fun with Addy?"

"Yes, we danced. We eat cookies." Poppy gushed. "Alfie fell down and we tickle him."

"Well that sounds like fun."

"You come home?"

"Soon Poppy, we'll bring your brother home tomorrow." Mae hugged her tightly. "And we love him very much, just like we love you. Do you know his name?"

"Sloth."

"We thought we'd call him Max. Sloth is his little friend." Poppy had chosen a sloth for him, thanks to a day spent at the zoo with Alfie, Addy and Sam. They had got to hold a sloth and that was all she could talk about. When they had taken her to the zoo gift shop to buy something for the baby she had been determined to buy the sloth and hence, Max was the proud owner of a sloth. She had pulled it out of the bag to show him, despite him being sound asleep. "Look, open your eyes, look." Poppy begged him but Max didn't move until his Dad picked him up and then he let out a grunt and stretched his arm out.

Maxwell Adam Ruzek Hollister Burrows didn't know what awaited him. Like Alfie was obsessed with Iris when she was born, Poppy was fascinated by Max. George captured the exact moment when Poppy held him for the first time and bent down and kissed his forehead. "Hi Max." she whispered. "It's me, Poppy."

"He likes you." Mae loved it and George caught her reaction too. It was a perfect photo of Mae watching her two children together, she looked beautifully happy.

He sent the photo to their families and within minutes Lola and Alfie were knocking on the door. He had already spoken to his mother and she was waiting until after Poppy met her brother before she came in to meet her grandson. "Where is our little sloth?" Alfie demanded to know.

"Alfie, it's Max." Poppy announced excitedly, still clutching her brother tightly. She wasn't giving him up for love nor money. When Lola did get her hands on him, Poppy was right there with him. "I love Max."

"Me too. He's just perfect." She smiled at Mae. "Well done Monkey. He's just so precious. I could just take him home and snuggle him forever."

"No Lola, he my baby." Poppy was having none of it and tried to pull him out of her arms. "He mine."

"I know Poppy." Lola patted Poppy's hand. "I'm not going to take him away. He stays with you and Mommy and Daddy. I just love him so much too."

"I told you you'd get clucky. Have you told Riley?" Mae teased her. "Last time I had a baby you ended up with Billy."

"Pfft, don't worry about Riley. He does as he is told." Lola scoffed. "And anyway, you'll soon figure it out, two is enough. Sam has barely recovered from the Emu incident I think he'd lose it if we told him we were having another one."

"That looks good on you." Lola declared when Alfie had a cuddle and they were all surprised when he got a little quiet and emotional. "Hey Alfie, it's okay." She squeezed his hand. "One day."

Alfie had told them once that he hated that he missed seeing Addy as a baby. He missed that first cuddle, her first smile, laugh, steps, words, her first everything. Watching Mae's pregnancy and how much George loved it, feeling their baby moving and squirming inside was a struggle for him some days. He got none of that with Addy and it hurt him. There were three years of her life he would never know; photos and videos just didn't fill that void and there was not one photo of Jedda when she was pregnant.

"Can I bring Addy to meet him tomorrow? She's dark as that I didn't bring her with me now." He really wanted to see Addy with the baby. It's all she wanted. "Quinn's not loving her right now."

"I'd love to see her."

"She's been making things for the baby, so be warned. She's been very busy."

Poppy was looking a little flustered. "Addy love Max? She take him."

"Addy will love Max, she won't take him away, she just wants to give him a cuddle."

"And me?" It was all well and good that she loved Max, but suddenly the awareness that everyone was focussed on the baby and not her bothered the little girl. They saw the first little spike of sibling jealousy.

"And you. You are our favourite Poppy in the whole world." Alfie kissed his niece's nose. "Love you Popstar."

Alfie took Poppy home with him, not that she wanted to go and Daddy was going to come for dinner and stay the night. That appeased her a little. Max was being boring by sleeping so she decided Addy was a better option, especially with the offer of ice-cream. Quinn was surprised to see Poppy with him, she thought she would stay with her Mom and Dad but it was sweet to hear her tell her about her brother. She was so excited despite his eyes being _'closed all the time.'_

George had a good long cuddle after everyone left. "You okay Mabel?"

"Yes."

"Tough day Baby."

"It was." He had seen a lot of her tears lately, it had been a tough pregnancy for her, not physically but emotionally. It had been Mae who asked him if they could give the baby Adam as a second name if it was a boy. He would have let her call him Adam if she wanted but Mae didn't want that. "I'm glad he's here."

George climbed on to the bed and settled Max in between them. "You did amazing." He stroked his hand. "Look how perfect he is."

"I was worried for him."

"I was worried about both of you. I didn't mind the abuse."

"I didn't abuse you."

George snorted. "Must have been someone else. Those midwives are wicked." Mae rested her head on his shoulder, she was tired. "A boy huh?"

"Yep, now you have to teach him right. Needs to be raised to be a good man."

"Who loves his Momma."

"Everyone loves his Momma." Max let out a tiny grunt. "I want to take him home. I want to go home." Mae sobbed on his shoulder. "Can you take us home?"

"Just stay tonight Sweetheart. Rest up, it was a big day for you both. I'll go home, spend some time with Poppy and we will both come in tomorrow morning and take you home. Okay?"

Mae was all over the shop. She was okay when George left, she talked to Poppy when he got home and promised to get some rest. Iris had come in just before he left and she was excited to see her and introduce him to his Aunt. Max was sleeping and feeding well so far, he was obviously still recovering from his big day and Mae had a shower while Iris sat with him.

Iris stared at him a little wistfully, she wondered if she'd ever get to feel her own baby in her hands and Mae caught her when she came out. "One day Bug, we'll all be falling in love with your baby." Iris squeezed her eyes shut tightly to stop the tears. As much as she wanted to push away her fears they were bubbling to the surface more often these days. They all knew that Iris and Colton had stopped birth control a while ago and insisted they were just going to see what happened and it was no big deal, but it was. With every passing month it was a big deal.

"I hope so."

"Hey Bug.." Mae hobbled over and held Iris's cheeks in her hands. "..I believe in you. One day, okay?"

George had just sat down with Alfie and a drink once Poppy and Addy were asleep, which had been a feat and a half. They were excited and revved each other up and they could hear them giggling away long after they were supposed to be asleep. He reached for his phone when it beeped, it had been going off all evening now that the word was out about little Max. He ignored most of them but messages from Mae had a different sound so he grabbed it. _'I feel so alone.'_ Mae messaged him.

He jumped up and called her. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? Is Max okay?"

"Yes. He's sleeping. It's me, I feel alone. I've got nobody anymore."

"Oh Mabel, sweetheart. Do you want me to come in?"

"Yes."

He promised to be there as soon as he could asking Alfie if they minded looking after Poppy. "Is Monkey okay?"

George ran his hands wearily over his face. It had been long and hard day for Mae and he had no right to complain about feeling tired but the stress of the day took its toll on him also. "No, not really. Just feeling a little lost I think."

"Lost?"

"Alone."

"Oh. I know that feeling." Alfie felt a pang in his gut. "She misses Adam. She's missing Mom and Dad and MiMi." It was hard for other's to understand that they could be surrounded by people and still feel so alone.

"I think so. Do you mind?" He pointed upstairs. He had really wanted to be with Poppy tonight, they were conscious of excluding her and making it all about Max. Hopefully he might be able to get back before she woke but right now Mae needed him and he was desperate to see her.

"Not at all. Go see Monkey. Go love my sister."

When he arrived Mae was feeding Max and the room was only lit by a small lamp. The opening door let in a shaft of light and Mae finally let go of the tears she'd been holding in. George said nothing, he knew sometimes words weren't needed. He knew his girl. He stood beside her bed and stroked her hair quietly while she finished feeding Max and then handed him to his Dad. George kissed his cheek and put him in his cot and then climbed onto her bed and cradled her against his chest.

She grabbed handfuls of his shirt and let it all go. "I love you Mabel." He told her. "I've got you."

"You think I don't love Max?"

"No, I know you love Max. Also I know that this is just a fleeting moment, it's been a long day and you've just given birth, you are tired, emotional, happy, sad and relieved and you just miss the people you love the most."

"I have you."

"Yes, yes you do. I'll share you with your ghosts." George always soothed her. It wasn't always easy, at times he struggled with it, he had struggled with the depths of Mae's grief over Adam's death. It had been hard watching her go through it and he was worried about her and the baby at times, but she picked herself up, held on to him and Poppy and they'd made it. Some days it just overwhelmed her and today was one of those days. "I always will."

"I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do." George smiled, she could feel it in his body language. "Any way you are stuck with me, and look at what we've made, two perfect children and I can't wait to see them grow with us."

George stayed until Max had been fed again, he cuddled him for a while as Mae slept and then promised to be back in the morning. Poppy was awake before the sun was up, climbing over him and into bed. If they were at home she would have slept in his bed but she had slept with Addy because that was much more fun. "Daddy, see Max today?"

"Yes you can."

"I sleep with Addy."

"Hmmm, Did you kick her?"

"No. I see Max?" He promised her after breakfast they would call her Mom. "You love Max?"

"I do, very much. Just like I love you, very much."

"To the moon?" Poppy was dangerously cute right now, she looked so much like her Mom, especially her eyes and he touched her nose sweetly with his finger and she'd get away with murder at the moment if she tried. "Alfie loves Addy to moon."

"Well that's pretty far."

"I love Daddy to moon."

"Well that's good then. I am not sure that's far enough for me." George enjoyed the cuddle. "I am a bit sad though. I was hoping I had a cute little sleeping buddy last night. I missed Mommy."

"Sorry Daddy."

"It's okay Pop, morning cuddles are my favourite." She giggled as her Daddy snuggled into her. He was lucky guy.


	60. Addy's Very Best Day

_**I have no idea what is going on with this site lately, it's very frustrating. I apologise again for the shit formatting.**_

The very best part of their wedding day was seeing Adelaide's joy. It was a small wedding, just family and a few close friends. Quinn knew that Alfie wouldn't want a big wedding, she knew him well enough to know that without his parents, MiMi and without Adam it was going to be a rough day for him. He had struggled a little with putting Adam's death behind him and admitted to Quinn that he felt lost and he was scared that he didn't have someone to guide him anymore, someone to turn to and teach him how to be the man of his house. Dreaming of a big wedding when you are a little girl meant nothing to her now, marrying this man was her dream.

Adelaide was so excited and she wanted to be involved in everything and even on the day she couldn't decide whether to be with her Dad or with Quinn. She had loved all the build-up, the nails, the hair, trying on the dresses, the flowers, everything about it was exciting. Alfie convinced her in the end to stay with Quinn, he wanted to see his two beautiful girls together.

He didn't care that he cried when they both walked towards him, holding Joel's hand. He was grateful for them and how wonderful Quinn's parents had been towards him but more importantly Addy. They adored her, and she loved them. Like Gus and Rhiannon, they filled the grandparent role in her life. Every week she talked to them on the phone and was always sending them drawings and presents in the post.

Meg had literally started bawling when Addy called her Nanna Meg for the first time. They had gone to visit them for a weekend and Addy walked in like she owned the place. "Nanna Meg" she called out as she came through the door. "I am here." Meg had been stunned and Addy was worried that she had upset her when she started crying but she was quick with a hug and to tell her that she had made her very happy and that she was crying happy tears.

Both of them looked so beautiful. Addy broke away from Joel at the top of the aisle and Alfie dropped to his knees and opened his arms for his girl. "You look so beautiful Adelaide. Thank you for looking after Quinn today. I love you so much, you are my amazing djinda."

"I'm so happy Daddy."

What they were looking forward to the most was the fact that Addy's dreams were coming true and they couldn't wait to tell her. Just the small matter of their wedding vows first and they were short and sweet and the biggest cheer they got when they kissed was from Adelaide.

They enjoyed the night, again at the zoo where they had all gotten married. Each wedding was different though. Alfie had actually got married under the tree he planted, whereas Mae hadn't, she'd had a small ceremony at a registry office and a quiet dinner with their families at the zoo. Lola had gotten married in a church for Riley's Mom but they still came back to the zoo.

Gus was the MC for the night and he apparently had spent a lot of time on his speech. Rhiannon had teased him mercilessly about how much time and effort he was putting into it and that she couldn't imagine how bad he'd be when Viv and Charlie got married.

Gus had done his thing, he pulled Alfie away for a quiet moment the night before the wedding and gave him his great grandfather's ring to wear. It was a tradition now. His mother had worn it, Lola had and also Mae and although they didn't know Mae and George were getting married Adam had been sneaky and got the ring to her unbeknown to anyone. Gus saw it at the dinner that night and he was glad she had worn it. It meant the world to him; it was his thing.

"I think you know the deal by now. Whenever Alfie, wherever you are I am there for you." Alfie slipped it onto his right hand. He was also wearing his Dad's watch.

Gus was nervous as he got up to speak, public speaking wasn't his thing. "_Now, I have a lot to live up too. My Dad used to do these rambling speeches that while Mom had edited them for him he would often go rouge. When Polly got married he had one day to prepare, and I use that term loosely. So we will see how we go._

_Alfie, Alfred, aka The Termite. He got that nickname from an epically hysterical rant Polly gave to Sam, in between copious rounds of vomit about his 'termites' chewing through her cervix. While his poor mother spent nine months in bed, heaving her guts up he just chugged along and arrived like he'd done nothing wrong and chewed his way into everyone's heart. He was obsessed by trains, his baby sister, his cousin Charlie, animals like his Dad, was tortured by his older sisters who coerced him into doing things he shouldn't, he taught his cousin about penises and how to stand up and pee, which I might add was equally entertaining and disgusting, especially for the person who had to clean up after them. He stole his baby sister because the other two told him he couldn't. If you want Alfie to do something, tell him he can't._

He talked about Alfie's life, how he desperately tried to care for his sisters and still does and about the trees he planted. Briefly he talked about Addy, which made her squeal a little, she loved hearing her name and how passionate he was about his job and how proud his Dad would be.

_Now Rhiannon and I get to watch him be all that his parents wanted him to be, Quinn I know how lucky Alfie is that you even looked in his direction but Sweetheart, you are the luckiest girl in the world too. You've got one of the good ones, he will love you like no other, because that's what he was raised to do, by his parents and by my parents. He's always treated his sisters like princesses, now you are his Queen and damn girl, you are adored. Welcome to our family, you belong with us."_

Alfie thanked his Uncle Bus with a hug. He whispered something in his ear, thanking him for making him the man he was, the one his Dad wanted him to be and meant the world to Gus.

_'Meeting you, Quinn at my mother's ball feels right. Just right over there actually.' _He pointed to the bar set up in the corner. Mae hadn't let his wedding slip by just because she had a baby. Max was a little over three months old and behaving himself in his Dad's arms for once. While Poppy, Sam and Billy had been hitting the dancefloor with Addy, if you could call what they did dancing_. 'It's feels like they were there and said, you see that beautiful girl at the bar, waiting for someone to buy her a drink, that's her, that's the one. So I bought her a drink and thought I was being cute when I told her that if she wanted to see me again she had to come find me. My anxiety that night and for the next two days was off the charts…what was I thinking? What if she thought I was just too hard? Or just plain creepy and perhaps slightly up myself?''_

Alfie talked about how Quinn first learnt about Addy and how Charlie had dropped him in it_ "….was just I hadn't told the gorgeous blond I was trying to charm about my 'babe'. Hey, I know we are just getting to know each other but here's the deal….I am well into my twenties, a slightly scarred orphan, I live with my 94year old grandfather, who is grumpy 90% of the time, my insane little sister called Bug, her very patient partner and my three year old daughter who I have only known about for six months….so how about it? What a catch, hey?_

_Darlin', you didn't run that day and you've never run. You've embraced my messy life, you fell in love with my daughter, probably before you fell in love with me to be honest, you immersed yourself in my family, and you were there for me when we lost our north star, you are still there for me. I never dreamed I'd have someone like you beside me and I know if I didn't have you I don't think I'd still be standing._

He thanked her parents for raising her, letting him love her and embracing his daughter and that Addy adored them. He winked at Meg and reminded her it was probably the kittens though.

He looked at Quinn_. "I wish, with all my heart that my Mum and Dad were here today to see me marry you but I know they would love you. They did after all bring us together. My MiMi would have adored you and I know my Pops did. He'd say to me 'Alfie, don't let that one go, she gets you, she's good for you, she's what you need. I can die in peace knowing that all my mob are loved. He also reminded me constantly that you are way too beautiful for me and I can't argue with that. You are way too beautiful for me.'_

_'What I do have though is Lola, Mae and Iris. I love how they have embraced you and welcomed you into our Circus tent. When we get a little wild, you've got your people, Riley, George and Colton. That's also how I know you belong with us, with Adelaide and with me.'_

_Quinn, I promise to always hold your hand, hold your heart and love you like my Dad loved my Mum, he used to tell her that he felt content and Quinn I feel content and that feels like the perfect word for us because I was taught there was no greater love than that.'_

Once he got through that and recovered his composure he asked Quinn and Addy to come up for a minute. "Now Adelaide, we have something for you." They handed her a box which she happily opened, presents and Addy loved presents. "What does it say?"

"Mum and Dad love you to the moon." She held up the envelope and Alfie explained to their guests.

"Those are the legally signed adoption papers." He looked back down to Addy. "Quinn is so happy to be your Mum, Adelaide."

"Really." She was so excited. "You are my Mum? I can call you Mum?" she looked up at Quinn who just nodded and crouched down to hug her daughter.

"I love you Addy, so much."

"So we can get a baby now?" she squealed excitedly.

"Maybe." Alfie laughed.

The small group thought it was beautiful but they weren't done with their surprises. "And here's something else." They handed her another box which she tore open. "What does this one say?"

She saw the picture and just squealed, pulling out a Koala and hugging it tightly. "What is it?" Alfie asked her again. They had put the ultrasound picture in the box, she had seen Mae's pictures and been fascinated by them. She knew exactly what it was.

"We are getting a baby." She shrieked and then buried her face in the koala and burst into tears. "I'm getting a baby."

"Oh Adelaide." Alfie scooped her up and she was crushed between her Mum and Dad and smothered with kisses.

Addy had forgotten about everyone else in the room. As far as she was concerned it was just her and her parents. "Is my baby a girl?"

"We don't know yet. It's a surprise. Are you happy?"

"Is it two babies?"

"No, it's just one." Quinn laughed, thankfully a recent scan showed one healthy baby.

One person was just as excited as Addy was and that was Meg. They had managed to keep it a secret from most people. His sister's knew, that had been impossible, it was like they could smell it and somehow they had managed to convince everyone that Quinn wanted to have a girl's weekend at a health retreat for her Hen's night. When the bubbles did come out she might take a sip and then Lola or Iris would switch it out for non-alcoholic bubbles. Mae wasn't drinking because she was feeding Max so there was enough drinks around to swap them out. Iris got a little trashed though, she seemed to end up with most of Quinn's discarded drinks.

Joel held her back for as long as he could. She had been waiting for this. "Wow, two grandchildren and a son-in-law on one day. Best day of my life." Meg hugged all three of them. "This is so wonderful."

"I thought you'd be happy Mom."

"Are you okay?"

"Well I am now, it was a little rough in the start. Very tired and queasy but the past week or so have been better. We are a touch under fourteen weeks. Fortunately I've only got the tiniest of bumps so far, I was worried about that. We really wanted Addy to know and it seemed like such a nice thing to do for her today."

"And I'm glad the adoption is all sorted too." Meg knew that they had applied for Quinn to adopt Addy. Because she was born in Australia and with Adelaide being part Indigenous there were a couple of extra hoops to jump through but it was a formality and they had known for about a month. When that came through, and the pregnancy they hatched a plan. Seeing the look on Addy's face was worth it, she was still hanging onto her Daddy and telling everyone who would listen that she was having a baby.

"So are we. It was such a relief for both of us."

"Oh Sweetheart, I am so happy for you."

Alfie and Quinn had a couple of nights away at the Beach House before they were taking Addy back to Australia for the first time. She was excited to show Quinn where she came from, although a little bit scared about the plane trip. Now she was worried that the baby won't like it. It was going to be a long six months for her, for Alfie too but at least he understood time had far more patience than a five year old.

They had decided to stop using contraception not long after he proposed and it had taken a couple of months to fall pregnant. They weren't really worried about it too much, they thought giving Quinn's body time to adjust, she started taking pre-natal vitamins and they just were going to wait and see what happened.

Alfie had been surprised when she told him that she was a week late and that she'd bought a home pregnancy test. They took it more for shits and giggles than anything and were a bit stunned it was positive. "Wow." Alfie looked at the stick. "Well, you're pregnant according to this." He held it up. "Wow."

"Oh dear." Quinn just stared at him.

"Oh dear? This is good right?"

"Yep."

"You look pale, are you going to vomit?"

"Probably." Quinn smiled a little painfully. "Are you happy?"

"Absolutely. Completely freaked out, slightly nauseous myself but over the moon."

"Me too."

And they were excited. A trip to the Doctors confirmed that Quinn was indeed pregnant and that's when they decided to surprise Addy at the wedding. It turned out that she would be a little close to fourteen weeks when the wedding happened and they wanted to wait that long just to get past the critical period.

They made it to ten weeks when Lola worked it out when Quinn turned green one night a dinner. It was only Lola and Iris at dinner. Mae was at home with Max because Addy had a bit of a cold and they didn't want Max to catch anything. Colton was just oblivious and Riley was at work.

She left the dinner table suddenly and a quick glance at Alfie and his worried look told her everything she needed to know. "I'll go." She put her hand on Alfie's arm when he went to follow her.

Quinn was outside, sucking in some deep breaths. "Congratulations."

"Ha, I knew you'd work it out."

"Where are we at?"

"Ten weeks. We are trying to keep it a surprise until the wedding."

"Good Luck. Firstly, you okay?"

"Yeah, just every now and then, although the past few weeks were pretty rough." Quinn sipped on some water that Lola had bought out with her. "It's all good though."

They hatched a plan on the back deck and Iris figured it out just by looking at Lola when they came back in. She shook her head lightly and she knew to keep it quiet.

It was a little bittersweet for Iris but she was delighted for her brother. He deserved to be happy and this would make him happy. He missed so much with Addy and everyone knew that bothered him, this would be perfect and she pushed aside her own disappointment.

Quinn had told Mae a few days later and she was ecstatic and she couldn't wait to see Addy with her baby. She was obsessed with Max and always wanted to visit him and talk to him and Mae about what he was doing.

It had worked perfectly; Addy couldn't stop talking about it. She had literally gone from table to table to tell everyone. They were glad they waited to tell her and they also loved that Lola had made sure that someone captured that moment on camera.

They spent the night at a hotel before dropping in to see her on their way up to the beach house. She was staying with Quinn's parents in the house and had apparently talked about the baby the moment she opened her eyes. She had wanted to call her _'mum'_ and ask her if the baby had a good night. Meg loved hearing her excitement and loved the way Addy was calling Quinn her Mum.

"Hey Addy, come up here a minute." Alfie called her upstairs. Not that Quinn had much of a bump but they wanted Addy to see it anyway. Quinn lifted her shirt and Alfie held her hands on Quinn's belly. "Just a little bit of a bump, but that's our baby."

"I wish I could see it."

"Well, here you go." Alfie showed her the video on his phone of their baby. He had lost count of how many times he had watched it. "That's our baby and it's waving at you." It was cute watching Addy wave at the baby and then kiss the screen. Alfie would be lucky to get his phone back, she took it and ran downstairs to show Nanna Meg.

"Well that was cute."

"Wonder where she gets that from?." Quinn rubbed her lower stomach, she was feeling a bit achy this morning. "I think our little koala is annoyed with you after last night…" Every day she felt like things were stretching and by the end of the day she would have a slightly protruding belly. It was gone in the morning and they couldn't wait for the day when it didn't go away. Alfie was adamant they had to consummate their marriage just so she couldn't change her mind so they had a busy night and morning.

He loved watching her in the morning, she would always do some stretching and a few yoga poses, even before she was pregnant. Often Addy would join her and her sun salutations were all legs and giggles. This morning he just lay on the bed and watched his wife, thanking his lucky stars he now got to spend his life with this woman.

"It's about to get a real shock then, that was nothin'." He winked. He was looking forward to the next couple of days, just to put their feet up and relax. Alfie was conscious that Quinn had been on her feet quite a bit the last few days, it had been busy and as much as Mae took control and had Lola and Iris running around like her minions there were some things that Quinn had to do and yesterday had been a long day and she spent the whole night talking to everyone, dancing and laughing. Now he wanted her to rest and relax. Having Addy meant that they rarely got time alone to just be still, Addy was never still.

Once they got on that plane to Australia they would be hitting the ground running and knowing Addy, when she was excited she was a hurricane. She was so looking forward to showing Quinn all her favourite animals and the zoo. _'I was borned there, at the zoo.'_

"You were not born at the Zoo, Adelaide." Alfie reminded her for the umpteenth time; he had no idea where she suddenly got this idea from.

"I was, in Australia."

"The whole of Australia is not a zoo." Alfie shook his head. "You were born in Australia, in a hospital." She just huffed totally unimpressed with her Dad's response. The look on her face was priceless.

_'Oh Alfred, you've got no idea…' _she muttered as she turned on her heel.

They did love how excited she was though. Alfie was keen to take her home, now that they had decided that, for now Chicago was the best place for them and their growing family. He wanted Quinn to see Australia too because he had loved his time there.

Addy wasn't happy that they were leaving again, although staying with Nanna Meg and Pappy Joel had its advantages. She also insisted that the koala stayed with her. "Ed will look after him." She promised. Addy even convinced Nanna Meg to take her shopping for things for the baby, not that Meg needed much encouragement she was just as excited as her granddaughter.

Quinn slept most of the way to the Beach House and Alfie didn't mind. Her ring caught the light on a few occasions and it made him feel good. He knew how lucky he was, it had been an amazing few months. Quinn had adopted Addy, without hesitation, they were married and expecting their first baby together. Nine months ago he was at the depths of despair, he'd lost Adam, his last tangible link to his parents. He felt lost and confused by those feelings because when he opened his eyes he still had Addy, he had Quinn and he had his family, Lola, Mae and Iris all their attachments. He still had Gus and Rhiannon.

Quinn and Addy pulled him out of that hole and now he was a husband, a Dad and expectant father. His life was good. It was time to stop thinking about everything he didn't have and embrace everything he did.

The first thing that Quinn did when they got to the beach house was pull out the letter that Gus had given her. Alfie didn't want it at the wedding because they wanted it to be about Quinn and Addy. It was her day as much as it was Quinn's and Alfie didn't want it bogged down by his past.

"Read it to me?"

"Are you sure? I'll cry."

"Then I won't be alone."

_'Alfred,_

_My little me, your mother always told me that, that when she looked at you she saw me. I guess that's a good thing because she loved you like her life depended on it. For a while she only existed to keep you alive._

_I think you know how rough your road was, from the moment we knew a new human was joining us it was a struggle. Every day we battled to make sure you stayed safe and grew into our perfect little boy. Your mother was incredible, her iron will and love for you was an incredible thing to witness. For the first time we found out what we were having before you arrived and finding out it was you was amazing. We stopped on the way home and bought our first little blue hat, so that your mother, who spewed in the store could hold it when she was at her lowest and remember why we were doing this, for you, for our son._

_Knowing we were having our little boy made those days that felt like they never ended worthwhile. Every time I carried your mother into hospital because she was desperately unwell we thought of you. We wanted you so desperately._

_There was not one day of your life we didn't love. We loved watching your sisters fall in love with you, protect you and teach you. I loved showing you how to be a man, how to love your mother and your sisters._

_My most precious memories of you were when Iris was born, I never saw a face light up like yours did whenever you saw your Bug. I hope you still have that look on your face when you see your Bug, I hope that Lola and Mae still look out for their little brother. I know one thing, you will look after them for me._

_I wish I could see you now, I hope I taught you well, I hope I showed you how to love someone with your whole being because that's how much I loved your mother. I wanted to be there with you today and stand with your mother and say 'that's my boy.' If she's still there know that I am there with her, because I will always be with her and with you._

_My little termite, you gnawed your way into our lives, into our heart and you made us content. Raising you was so different from your sisters but equally as amazing. I remember Adam telling me his Pops once told him that as a father all you want is for your son to be more successful than you, that proved that you've done a good job, I hope you are ruling your world, whatever that world is._

_You are the man of your own house now, I know you will be amazing because you are our Alfie and there was no son better than you. I hope today you are happy with your one in a million and I wish, with all my heart they make you as happy as your mother made me and as happy as you made us._

_I love you Alfred,_

_My son._

_Love you forever, Dad.'_

Quinn was always going to cry, she had hormones oozing from every pore but seeing her husband sobbing was incredibly beautiful and crushing. She knew about these letters but had never heard them. Lola and Mae never revealed what was in them, they were personal and reading it to her husband was an incredibly intimate and intense moment.

"That was amazing. I don't know what to say."

Alfie didn't even look at her. "You don't have to say anything."

"How did he know?"

Alfie shook his head. "He didn't, it was something he did after reading it somewhere. There were a few different letters. If he wasn't here, if they both weren't. Gus has them all and he knows when to give them to us. Mae refused to get married for quite a while because she didn't want hers."

"And you?"

Now he looked at her, at his wife. "I couldn't wait to meet you because I wanted to hear my Dad's voice again."

"Oh…"

"And it was everything I wanted it to be." He still had tears streaming down his face. "I miss them. I wish they were here, I wish they'd met you because I know they'd love you. I wish he said those words to me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Quinn, Darlin' it was perfect listening to you read it because I love you like he loved her. I wouldn't want anyone else here with me right now." She knelt down in front of him and let Alfie rest his head on her shoulder as Quinn ran her hands through his hair.

"You are so precious. You have taught me so much, I can't believe I found you. Your Dad would be so proud of you. I know your Pops was." Quinn placed the letter in his hands. "Your most precious possession."

"No, you are. You and Addy and our new baby." Alfie held her hands in his. "Is that okay?"

"Yes." Quinn knew he wasn't physically possessing her. Alfie wasn't like that, he didn't control her but he did own her heart. "You and me and…"

"Our heartbeats, our humans. That's what Dad always called us."


	61. Best Birthday Ever

Addy was out of bed early. It was still dark out but she just couldn't stay in bed any longer. Quietly she crept into her parent's room and stood beside her Dad's side of the bed. "Good Morning Adelaide." He made her jump when he spoke. He had heard her in the bathroom already, she was anything but quiet in the mornings or at any time of the day really.

"Good Morning Daddy."

Alfie peeled one eye open and smiled. She was clutching her echidna to her chest; her hair was a mess and her pyjamas were askew and she melted his heart. "Yes?"

"Daddy, is it my birthday now?" She whispered hopefully.

"Oh, I think so." He snaked his arm out from under the covers and grabbed her arm, pulling her close for a kiss. "Happy Birthday darlin. I'm so happy you were born."

She giggled quietly. "If my baby is borned today, we can have two cakes."

"Bubba is not coming today." They still had three months to go but Addy couldn't wait, they had a countdown calendar on the fridge and marked it off every day and despite that she had no concept of time and was willing it to go quicker, even crossing off two days at once recently to help things along. She'd been devastated to learn that it was not how things worked.

It hadn't been a smooth pregnancy, they never made it to Australia. Their Doctor strongly suggested that Quinn didn't fly such a long distance once she had a bleed at sixteen weeks and Addy was devastated but they did promise her that they would make the trip later and she could take her baby back to see her country and that appeased her a little.

It was a terrifying few days and had every one on edge but it was only one small bleed and all the tests showed that the pregnancy was still progressing although flying to the other side of the world wasn't a great idea and Alfie didn't want to risk anything and neither did Quinn. She did suggest that Alfie take Addy by himself but he didn't want to be that far away from her if something went wrong. He'd done that, been on the other side of the world when MiMi had her stroke and he never made it back in time. No way was he leaving Quinn now.

Addy had gotten over it, although it did come up occasionally but she had far more important things going on, like the baby that was '_taking forever to come.'_ She had asked Lola, because _'she's a Doctor'_ if the baby could just come a little bit quicker. When Lola asked her how quick she wanted it Addy replied instantly that she wanted it for her birthday, three months early and she was disappointed to know that the baby would be too little and sick if it came too early and would have to spend lots and lots of weeks in hospital. She decided it could wait until after her birthday instead. Adelaide lacked patience.

"But you get cake today." Alfie closed his eyes again.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Adelaide."

"It's my birthday."

"I know Darlin'."

"Do I get a present?"

"Of course you do." He pulled her into bed. "And lots of cuddles and kisses." Letting her climb over into the middle Quinn rolled over sleepily and smothered her with kisses as well. Addy loved kisses and cuddles, she was such a sweet girl who loved affection, either giving it or receiving it. They never left her in any doubt that she was loved and adored.

"Good Morning birthday girl. Happy, Happy birthday."

Addy had thrived since the wedding, with her getting a 'mum' and a new baby on the way she had exploded. They were amazed by her every day, she was gaining confidence at school, was strong and independent, made friends and loved her family. She loved school and wanted to learn everything all at once. She loved going to work with her Daddy and learning about animals and Alfie loved taking his little shadow with him. The security the wedding and her adoption gave her was incredible but she was still as crazy as ever and made them laugh constantly.

Occasionally she still called Quinn by her name but it was rare, she was her Mum now and like Alfie rarely got anything but Dad it had been the best thing they did for her. She still knew she had two Mums but Quinn filled the roll in her life that Addy had craved.

"How many presents will I get?"

"Maybe just one."

"Oh." She was a little disappointed with that. When it was her Dad's birthday and he got lots of presents. Sure a lot of them came from her, she had nagged Quinn to take her shopping to buy her Dad presents. _"Because I love him so much."_

_"Addy, it doesn't matter how many presents you get Daddy, it's the love and cuddles that he wants the most."_

It didn't stop her though.

For the longest time Birthday's weren't really celebrated. MiMi and Pops always tried to make them special but he always felt a little sad on his birthday, it was just another year and they were even further in his rear vision mirror. Lola and Mae were a little the same until they had partners and children. Addy and Quinn had changed all that for him too; he was swamped with presents from Addy, all personally wrapped including the socks individually wrapped and he loved every one of them. Her excitement was infectious.

She had made him a cake too, she was a little heavy handed with the food colouring and it was iridescent green, apparently to mimic grass and loaded with plastic animals and sprinkles. He loved it especially when it turned everyone's teeth green at dinner. Addy had been so proud of herself and still talked about it.

Walter always sent Addy something for her birthday and Christmas to keep her link to her Indigenous heritage. He would send her a message, in her native tongue and Addy loved it even if she didn't understand it or speak it. It was a special thing for her that none of the other kids got.

They were having a family dinner tonight for her birthday and she was excited about that and couldn't wait to see them all and tell them it was her birthday. Not that anyone was likely to forget, she'd told everyone often enough. On Sunday she would have a few friends come to the zoo with them and she was so excited they had to rein her in, she wanted the whole class to come, cutting it down to three was like pulling teeth.

They had all learned that lesson from Sam. Lola and Riley had been shocked and more than a little embarrassed when they found out that Sam had invited his whole class, and half of Addy's to his birthday party. All thirty five of them. They had let him invite ten and until they started getting RSVP after RSVP they hadn't realised what he'd done. Sam had been hysterical when they told him that they all couldn't come and wanted to _'not have a party at all because they are all my friends._' so they reluctantly had twenty eight children in their backyard, once they included Addy, Poppy and Billy. Fortunately some parents, who weren't in Sam's class declined the invite. He had a ball, it was insane and Lola had roped Mae, Iris, Alfie, Quinn and Colton into the madness. George managed to somehow be out of town for the event and Mae was pretty sure he did it deliberately and she didn't blame him, it was horrific.

"It's still dark out Addy, perhaps close your eyes for a few more minutes." Alfie urged her, although it was more like begging on his behalf. Quinn had been tossing and turning all night, keeping both of them awake.

She did, and lasted about a minute. "I can't sleep."

"Have you tried?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"A little bit." She tossed her echidna around. "Is it Ed's birthday too?"

"If you want it to be." Technically she hadn't got Ed when she was born, she got him when Alfie came into her life but that hardly mattered to her. "I think Ed is sleepy still."

"No he's not. He woke me up. He said Happy Birthday Addy." Addy wiggled around and leant in close to Alfie's face. He was used to opening his eyes and having Addy staring at him. Personal space and Adelaide were mutually exclusive, she was clueless. "Daddy, maybe bubba can be borned just a little bit today. Just until after I have my cake, then it can go back."

"Adelaide, there will be no baby today. Once it's born it can't go back so it needs to still grow bigger in Mum's belly but if you are lucky they might kick you to say hello and happy birthday." God love her for trying though. She was doing everything in her power to get her baby.

There was no stopping her. She was wide awake so they let her get up and Alfie reluctantly followed her. He groaned as he kissed Quinn and rubbed her belly and said good morning to his bubba. "Next year Bubba, you get to enjoy this crazy too."

Quinn closed her eyes again. "You are such a good Daddy. Leave me alone."

"You weren't saying that last night." He nipped her neck playfully and Quinn pushed him away.

Addy screeched a little when she saw the balloons and streamers decorating the dining room and Alfie cringed, how she got her voice so high concerned him. The decorations were a Hollister tradition, you got the whole shebang for the whole day. It was your day, the world became a better place that day because you were now in it and that was worth balloons and streamers. They had stopped it in those early years when nobody wanted to celebrate another birthday without their Mom and Dad but had had bought it back for the kids and they loved it.

In the middle of the table was one present that she was allowed to open. It was the present from Walter and it was a little hand-painted boomerang with a story that he helped Addy read.

Quinn finally came down and she opened a few more presents. Clothes for her dolls, who seemed to multiple by the week and far too much craft stuff, she was always making pictures for people and Gus and Rhiannon popped over before school to give her their present. She loved dressing up right now and always wanted to wear jewellery so they gave her her own jewellery box packed to the gills with gaudy necklaces, bangles and rings and she loved it.

By the time she got home from school Nanna Meg and Pappy Joel would be here and she couldn't wait. They had already called her to wish her a happy birthday before she went to school. She got messages from Lola and Mae and Iris had sent her a video of her and Colt singing her happy birthday. Colt look completely unimpressed, probably because they were still in bed and it looked like he had just woken up but Iris was in her element. They were so funny together, like chalk and cheese but they were crazy in love and adored each other.

She was excited that her Mum and Dad both picked her up from school and they stopped on the way home for a milkshake. It was about to get crazy and they just wanted to spoil her a little and spend some time alone with her before all hell broke loose. Addy was having _'the best birthday ever.'_

Her grandparents had bought her a bigger tepee for her bedroom, she adored that thing and she was keen to set it up right away but not until she had opened her last present from Mum and Dad.

Alfie got her to close her eyes and keep them closed. Joel was videoing the whole thing because they wanted to capture her reaction and it was as perfect as they thought it would be. He placed a box in front of her. "Happy Birthday Adelaide."

She cried. She covered her face with her hands and then peered out between her fingers like she didn't really believe it.

Sitting in the box, staring up at her was one of Petal's slightly terrified kittens. "Is it mine?"

"Yes it is." Alfie rolled his eyes when he looked at his wife who was in tears too. She was such a softy at the best of times, never mind now she was six months pregnant.

"Can I hold it?"

"Of course you can." Gently she reached into the box and picked up the little chocolate brown kitten and snuggled it. "What do you think?"

"Oh I love him. What's his name?"

"Well it's a little girl." Meg stroked the little kitten as Addy hugged her. "What would you like to call her?"

"Kitty." Addy blurted out without thinking, she was in heaven. Had she thought about it the name would have probably been sunflower or sparkles or something equally ridiculous. Kitty seemed tame by comparison. The poor cat was in a state of shock but Meg had got it used to be handled and Addy soon settled down and there was no way she was letting her go, even trying to talk to her about the rules was a struggle. Kitty wasn't allowed to sleep in her room, she had to sleep in the downstairs laundry and that's also where she was to eat. Alfie believed that animals, any animal needed a routine and she would soon learn hers. Addy, on the other hand was going to be a challenge. She tried to re-negotiate the sleeping arrangements, there was even a brief mention that Ed might get the heave ho but it was to no avail.

They made it perfectly clear to her that they had to be strict because they didn't want the kitten to think she could sleep with the baby when it arrived as that was dangerous for the baby. Addy promised that she would make sure it didn't sleep with the baby or go into the baby's room but Alfie wasn't budging. They had some tears but she soon got over it and got back to playing with her kitten.

The rest of the family, who obviously knew about the new arrival were giving her all the paraphernalia they would need, which worried them because going overboard was a well-known Ruzek Hollister tradition. It had a bed coming, toys and scratching post. Addy wouldn't care that the presents weren't for her, nothing really mattered right now, they could have given her a bag of coal and she wouldn't care.

Addy couldn't wait for everyone to arrive so she could show them Kitty. She asked her Mum to call Mae and check if they were coming. Since she had started ballet classes with Poppy they were joined at the hip. They were hopeless, utterly un-coordinated and sounded more like herd of baby elephants than graceful ballerinas but they loved it. They also looked very cute in their leotards and little skirts. Poppy wasn't in Addy's age group but they had classes at the same time and were always practising at home together. Addy was often prancing around the house in her ballet outfit and Poppy usually turned up wearing it if she knew she was going to see Addy.

Both Alfie and George had been in the dog house after laughing at the girls trying to be ballerinas at the end of term 'production'. It wasn't pretty, none of the girls were much chop and it was hilarious to watch them try and remember what they were supposed to be doing and just made up whatever they wanted. Poppy went rogue, much to George's amusement and Addy's horror. Addy was such a stickler for the rules and Poppy had way too much of her mother in her to care.

"Poppy, Poppy, Poppy." Addy was bouncing up and down waiting for Poppy to come inside. She had heard them pull up and could hear Poppy telling her Mom to hurry up and get Max out. "Come look, I got a kitten, come look, quick." As expected Poppy was wearing her leotard although Mae managed to get some boots and a jacket on her, which looked ridiculous but it was the best she could do.

She dragged Poppy by the hand to show her Kitty. "Her name is Kitty and she's so cute. She's my kitten."

The poor kitten was startled by the two squealing jumping girls, not a hint of grace between them. Addy let Poppy hold her briefly until Alfie told them leave her alone for a little while. "Remember she is just a baby, like Max is a baby and needs to be left alone to sleep too."

Sam was the one they were worried about. Addy made sure Poppy followed the rules and just sat next to her makeshift bed and watched her sleep, she had no such luck with Sam. Sam kept poking her to wake her up. "Don't Sam, she's a baby." Addy was desperately trying to get him to leave her alone. "Daddy will take her away from me." She cried. "Please stop."

"She likes it." Sam waved a toy in her face and Kitty swiped at it. "See."

Addy completely forgot about leaving her alone because suddenly she was awake and started playing with them. They were all on the floor calling her, rolling toys at her and trying to catch her. Even Billy was fascinated although Addy wouldn't let him touch her. Billy was too silly still and nobody had forgotten what he did to Emu, especially Sam who reminded Addy and sent her into a tizz when Billy got too close thinking he was going to pull her head off. The poor kid was never going to live that down.

"Okay." Alfie swept in and scooped her up. "It's time for dinner. Go wash your hands." He had been very specific with Addy about handwashing and not touching her litter tray. He explained to her that she had to be careful because of Quinn and Bubba and that was enough for Addy to be pedantic about it and he had to laugh at listening to Addy lecture her cousins about washing their hands and using enough soap. He dreaded to think what the bathroom looked like.

He held her up in one hand and looked at her cute little face. "Sorry little lady. It will get less hectic I promise." He swore he saw a look of relief on the little kitten's face.

They did let Addy cuddle her when they sang happy birthday to her and she tried to get Kitty to help her blow out the candles. It was very cute and getting Addy to calm down enough to go to sleep was a huge task. "Daddy, this is my best birthday ever."

"Ever?"

"Yep. I love Kitty so much."

"I figured. You are a very lucky lady."

"I get a kitten and a Bubba soon."

"Yes you do." He tucked her in and kissed both her cheeks. "See you in the morning."

"When I get up can I play with Kitty before I go to school?"

"Not until you have eaten breakfast and gotten dressed ready for school. Then you can play with Kitty." He knew if she was given carte blanche they'd never get her moving.

"Night Night Daddy Alfie, I love you. Thank you for my kitten." It was the same every night. For some quirky reason, known only to Addy she always said the same thing when she went to bed. He was always Daddy Alfie at bedtime.

It was no surprise to find the kitten curled up on Quinn's belly when he came down. "You know apparently this is how Lola got the Leopard because Dad bought one home to hand raise and it used to sleep on Mom's fat gut."

"I can see why? She seems to like it."

"Addy will be jealous."

"How was she?"

"Twired." Alfie squeezed in beside her and patted the little bundle of fur, he took a photo to show Addy in the morning. "She's one happy little girl. I think we made her year. Best Birthday ever apparently!"

It was ten to six when Alfie peeled open his eyes to find Addy dressed and by his side. "I got dressed already." Her skirt was on backwards and her hair was a mess. "Can I go see Kitty?"

"Oh Adelaide." He sighed.

"Please Daddy." She bounced a little as she begged.

"Off you go. Please try and be quiet, Nanna Meg and Pappy Joel are probably still asleep."

Meg heard her come downstairs and start talking to Kitty, it was probably the excited squeal when she opened the laundry door, so she got up. They adored Addy and were so grateful that Alfie had welcomed them into her life. He wanted them to be involved in her life and appreciated that they had filled the grandparent role in her world. Alfie never made them feel like they were intruding or not welcome in their life and into Addy's, she was their granddaughter in every sense of the word but the moment those papers were signed Alfie made sure they knew that they were now officially grandparents. They called her weekly and she loved telling them about her week at school. She would ring them when she did well at school and would invite them to come down for her assemblies, ballet shows or soccer games, which she had started playing with Sam.

In much the same vein as she was with ballet, Addy lacked talent at soccer too.

"Nanna Meg, look Kitty loves me." Addy was cuddling the little cat and Kitty was licking her neck.

"She does. Please don't let her lick you." Alfie had already told her that she wasn't allowed to let cats lick her, especially up around her face. "She's made a bit of a mess in here." There was litter from her tray all over the floor. "Why don't you take her into the lounge with some toys while I clean up in here?" Addy was more than happy to skip out on the work but she did remind her grandmother to make sure she washed her hands because of the bubba.

Addy had never eaten her breakfast so quick, Alfie actually had to tell her to slow down or she would make herself sick she was shovelling it in so fast. He did wonder how long this enthusiasm would last. It was a long painful goodbye when they left for school. She gave her grandparents a long list of things to do to make sure Kitty was okay and asked them to take some photos of her through the day.

"Do you think she will miss me Daddy?" Addy hopped up into his truck.

"I am sure she will. It will be very quiet at home today, she'll get lots of rest."

"I could stay home?"

"Ahhh, No." Alfie shut her down quickly. "You will have all weekend with her. She will still be there when you get home this afternoon. Remember Mum is picking you up today."

"And Sam?"

"Yes, and Sam too." They always had Sam on a Friday afternoon as Billy was in day care and Lola and Riley were at work and Quinn didn't work Fridays. It was cute the mischief those two would get up too. Sam had befriended Addy the day she arrived in the country and they were as thick as thieves. He looked out for her at school when she started and people laughed at her accent, she had a curious mix of Australian and American words and sometimes she sounded very Australian. It reminded Alfie of how he struggled a little when they first came back to America. It was nice that Lola's son was looking out for his daughter, it felt right. Unlike Mae though, who hit some boys for picking on him Sam just made sure people knew that she was his cousin. Sam had a bold personality that made him popular at school. He was very much like his great grandfather, he was a leader and Pops would be proud of how he looked after his girls.

Sam had read his Dad the riot act one day when Riley and Lola were having a bit of a spat. He told his Dad off for not being nice to his Mom and how much it hurt his Mom when Daddy said mean things to her. It was just a little married couple spat about nothing in particular, they were both tired and had been working all week but Sam wasn't standing for it.

Sam had taken Addy under his wing when they lost Pops, desperate to make her happy and protect her and they never looked back. Addy was his '_BFF'_.

Addy skipped out of school towards Pappy Joel and her Mum. "Did you have a good day?" Quinn went to take her bag but her Dad wouldn't let her. Their over protectivness annoyed Quinn some days but Alfie was happy with their work.

"How's Kitty?"

"She's waiting to see you. Did you have a good day?"

"I did." She was jiggling around waiting for Sam who never hurried out of class. He was typically the last one out because he was always talking, making friends and organising playdates. "Can I go get Sam?"

"He'll be here in a minute."

"He needs to hurry up. He's such a ditherer. Maybe I can go home and you can wait here for Sam?" She told her grandfather.

"We came in one car Adelaide. Just hold your horses."

"Sam" she screeched at him when he finally appeared. "Jesus Christ Sam, hurry up for god's sake." Quinn just cringed as everyone turned to look at them. Addy's voice really carried across the playground and did nothing to make Sam move any quicker.

Fortunately Kitty was asleep when they got home and once Addy had woken her up she was ready to play. The screams, squeals and laughs that came out of the lounge room were very cute. Addy and Sam loved her and Sam decided he wanted a kitten too. "Just ask your Dad, I asked Alfie, lots of times, just keep asking and then maybe you can get one too." Addy was coaching him on how to get a kitten and it was hilarious. "Nanna Meg will let Petal have more babies and you can have one of them. Maybe she already has one you can have."

"But Mom will say No because Billy will pull its head off." Sam still found Billy quite tiresome lately, he had developed a wild personality. He had suddenly become a tornado, he took after his brother but Sam didn't see it like that. He had broken Sam's train set and to say Sam was impressed was an understatement, he actually pushed Billy out of his room and slammed the door. All hell broke loose and Billy was carrying on like he'd been shot and Sam was distraught that his train was broken and that he got in trouble from his Dad for slamming his door in Billy's face. Of course Sam bought up the Emu Slaughter again, it was a barely healed scab for Sam and every time Billy even looked in Emu's direction Sam lost it.

"Just be really annoying, I was really annoying and then I got a kitten."

Meg got dragged into it unwittingly. "Nanna Meg." Sam sidled up to Addy's grandmother when Kitty finally passed out from exertion. She did love how all the kids called her Nanna Meg. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect to be enveloped by this family like they had been. "Does Petal have other babies?"

"She does, they are all living with their new families now, like Kitty is."

"Oh." He thought for a minute. "Is she going to have more babies?"

"Hopefully one day."

"Oh good. Then I can have one too?"

"Umm, I'm not sure sweetie. That's for Mommy and Daddy to decide."

"But we can tell them that Petal is having more babies and that one would love to come live with us. Then Kitty could come play with her. Billy will be good, I promise." Sam was begging, being egged on by Addy.

"Kitty would love it; they could have sleepovers." Addy contributed from the couch where she was sitting with Kitty on her lap, sound asleep and Meg was feeling a little ganged up on and decided her best option was to walk away after reminding them that Petal wasn't even pregnant.

It didn't stop them though. Addy whispered to Sam. "I will ask my Dad to talk to your Dad but you can come see Kitty all the time until you get your own kitten."

"I think I will talk to Billy, tell him not to be an idiot around Kitty and maybe they will think he's grown up enough."

"He's still a bit silly sometimes isn't he?"

"Yeah, your bubba might be silly too."

Addy rolled her eyes dramatically. "I hope not. I don't have time for that. It's very tiring."

"Billy is such a bother." Sam agreed thoughtfully. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure but be careful, she's a baby." Addy handed Sam the little sleeping kitten. She was tiny and barely stirred and Addy didn't move far away from him so she could still pat her.

Alfie wasn't surprised to see them both on the couch when he got home. "Well I can't say I'm shocked." He laughed. He kissed Addy and Sam's heads and tickled Kitty. "How is our little Djinda?"

"Sleepy."

"Okay, how long have you two been sitting here?" Addy admitted that they had been playing with her since they got home from school. "Right, it's time for her to have a break. Pop her back in the laundry Addy and leave her be for a while."

"Why?"

"Because you are not just sitting here for hours on end." Alfie pointed to the laundry. "When she is sleeping you can go do something else, go and play. When she is awake you can play with her. Simple."

Addy did as she was told, reluctantly.

Quinn followed him upstairs while he had a shower. "Are you joining me?" he winked.

"I like your persistence." She leant on the counter; her hands tucked under her cute little bump. "How was the rest of your day?" They always talked at some point during the day.

"I shovelled shit for a lot of it."

"So glamourous. Just so you are prepared there was a conversation going on about Sam getting a kitten."

"Fuck, Lola will kill me."

Quinn nodded with a cheeky smile. She was looking forward to that conversation a little later. "Yes, yes she will."

"Who started it?"

"I am not really sure, but your daughter was certainly up to her neck in it and she told Sam to just be annoying because that worked for her."

Alfie laughed. "My old man used to call us crackheads, those two and Poppy are crackheads. The other's soon will be too."

"My baby is not going to be a crackhead." She rubbed her hands over her belly.

"Oh honey, it's got Hollister blood in its veins born out of Ruzek, it's a lost cause already."

Lola was set upon the moment she arrived. She had picked Billy up from daycare and he was grumpy after a long day so she wanted to get Sam into the car and get home. Billy needed a bath and some dinner and she wanted to sit down with her feet up and chill out with Riley when he got home. They had a rare night off together. She was greeted by two overly excited five year olds. "Nanna Meg said Petal will have more babies and I can have one." Sam blurted out.

"What?"

"I can have a kitten too."

"Sam loves Kitty and he'll be really good and we will teach Billy to be good and then he can have a kitten and they can have visits and play together all the time when we are at school." Addy being a good wingman, she did not even draw breath. "Petal will have some more babies soon so they will be like sisters because they have the same Mumma. Can Sam please have a kitten too? He will be really really good. Please."

"I will, I promise and I will teach Billy to be good too. Please." Sam was begging. He looked so much like his grandfather and namesake at the moment it made Lola breathless at times.

"Alfred." Lola hissed at her brother through clenched teeth. "I knew this would happen."

"Don't blame me. I am just making my daughter happy, if you can't do the same for your son well then, that's your problem."

"I will cut you."

"Oh, settle down." He laughed, which only served to annoy Lola even more. It had been a long day, she didn't need this. Sam was like a dog with a bone when he got his mind fixed on something.

"Riley will want to talk to you." Lola warned him. "It will not be pretty and I will not save you."

It didn't help that Addy disappeared and came back with Kitty. "See, she's so pretty." She handed her to Sam. "She loves Sam too, see."

Alfie just shrugged, which annoyed Lola. He had a lot to answer for, he always did.


	62. Finally

It had been a long week.

One thing he knew was he didn't like coming home to an empty house. Last weekend he had taken Quinn and Addy up to her parent's house. It was school holidays and he'd had a busy week at work, with holiday school programs. He was dead on his feet at the end of each day and now he had a two-hour car trip ahead of him.

The only good thing about that was at the end of the drive were his girls. He missed them like crazy. Talking to them every day wasn't enough for Alfie, he liked the physical connection. He loved Addy's excitement and hugs when he came home and he loved seeing Quinn, her beautiful bump and talking to his 'bubba'.

It hadn't been an easy few months, Quinn's pregnancy had been tough. They'd had the bleed at sixteen weeks and a threatened pre-term labour at 28 weeks. Once they had stopped the labour she was on strict bed-rest for two weeks and now she wasn't allowed to work, lift anything or do anything physical. His sister's had been amazing, they pitched in and helped out with Addy and with the school holidays approaching they decided to head up to her parents so her Mom could take care of both of them. He knew Quinn wouldn't be allowed to do anything and she had whinged to him during the week that her Mom and Dad were worse than he was.

"Daddy." Addy had been watching out the window waiting for him to arrive. "Alfred's here." Addy had suddenly started calling him Alfred and they had no idea why. It was cute, even though he generally didn't like his full name.

Addy missed her Dad and was out the door before he had even turned off the engine. Standing on the front porch she was bouncing up and down like she needed to pee and waving madly at him because she wasn't allowed to approach the car until he was out of it. As soon as he was out she was running across the lawn and into his arms. "I missed you."

Alfie knelt down as Addy slammed into him for a fierce hug and he smothered her with kisses. "It's so good to see you. I think you are bigger."

"Nanna Meg made me eat all my vegie-tables."

"That's good. Have you had fun?" He stood up and swung Addy up into his arms.

"Yes. We did lots of swimming, I helped with the cats and we did so much cooking." Addy had told him all this, she talked to him every day. "I made a cake for you."

"Yum, I'm so hungry." Alfie stole another kiss. "Is it chocolate? I love chocolate."

"It's your favourite. I put sprinkles on it too." Addy promised him. "I tooked care of Mum, I rubbed her belly every day."

"Wow, you were busy. I hope you weren't annoying?"

"No, I'm not annoying Alfred." Addy scoffed. "I was very good. I'm a Djinda." When Addy was worried about her Dad leaving last weekend he had told her that he needed Addy to stay and take care of her Mum and their bubba.

"I knew you would."

"Did you get lonely?"

"I did, but I had Kitty to keep me company. I am so happy now I am here with you." How they were going to convince her to stay here for the week was yet to be seen. Addy was a mother hen right now and it would be hard to pry her off her Mum, she was fussing over Quinn constantly and she took it with good grace. It was amusing, she would put up with Addy's over protectiveness but the moment Alfie tried it she shut him down.

"And Mum?"

"Yes indeed, Mum too, I missed her like crazy." Alfie always remembered how much his parents talked about each other and Pops and MiMi were just as affectionate. He wanted Addy to see all that.

Waiting inside, a little impatiently was Quinn. She'd had a tough day waiting for Alfie to arrive, the baby was sitting high and pushing against her diaphragm making it hard to breathe. She was tired and emotional and in tears the moment Addy had shot outside when Alfie pulled into the driveway.

"Hey." He peeled Addy of him and happily hugged his wife. Kissing her softly he leant back so he could see her properly and ran his hands over her face. "I missed you."

"I'm glad you are here. I've been freaking out."

"Why?"

"Just waiting for you."

"Awww, so sweet. You do love me." Alfie rubbed her belly and bent down and kissed it. "How's Bubba?"

"Still in there, still making life hard."

"Well that's good." They'd be happy with another two weeks, every day inside bought them closer to term and further away from the potential problems associated with a pre-term baby. They had a Doctor's appointment this coming week so they would know where they stood a little more.

"Addy has been so good. She kisses her bubba every day and let's just say, I have very supple skin because I get lots of moisturiser rubbed in. Foot massages are her speciality." Since the beginning Addy had been a bit mother hen but she was extra attentive this week because Daddy wasn't here. "She had to give me extra kisses to make up for missing out on Daddy kisses."

"Cute." Alfie leant in and rested his head on Quinn's shoulder. "I missed you so much. The house was too quiet without my women. I can't wait to get you both home."

"I don't know, I kinda like all the attention I am getting here."

"You don't miss my cuddles at night?" Alfie pouted. "I missed your cuddles."

"Nope, I have Addy." She had slept with Quinn every night because she missed her Daddy and knew that Quinn and Bubba did too. He had asked her to look after her Mum and she had taken that very seriously. "You can sleep in her bed; she doesn't take up as much room as you."

"Not happening." He'd slept in a bed by himself enough this week although they did have the suspicion that they wouldn't be alone tonight either. Addy was hard to budge. "I'm going to grab a shower. I came straight from work. I stink."

"I know." She screwed up her nose is disgust.

Alfie was delighted that Quinn appeared in the bathroom while he was in the shower. She perched on the closed toilet and chatted to him, he would have loved her to join him but they knew that it was unlikely that it would just be the two of them for long and within minutes Addy appeared and she ended up getting stripped off and in the shower with her Dad.

Addy loved having a shower with whoever she could possibly get in with, they had restricted her to showering with just Alfie or Quinn, although Iris and Colton often had a visitor when they lived with them, she didn't shower with Colton but would appear randomly appear and just talk while he was showering. The first time it freaked him out, he was bordering on hysterical when Iris finally came to rescue him. She thought it was hilarious how he decided that she was scarred for life and that he had PTSD.

Addy did love showering with Quinn at the moment, she loved washing her bump, lathering up her hands and giving it a good rub.

"Daddy? Have you seen Petal yet? She's having babies, maybe Sam will get one." They had taken Petal to the Vets during the week and an ultrasound showed her with four or five babies brewing. Addy was amazed and thought it would be 'cool' if they were having four babies.

"Is she?"

"Four, she's having four. Can we have four?"

"Not right now, no. One bubba is enough. You don't have enough arms to cuddle four babies."

"One for me, one for Mum, one for you and one for Bug, because she doesn't have a baby." Addy had obviously thought about this a little too much. "Colt can share Bug's baby."

"Maybe one day Bug and Colt will have their own baby, they don't need one of ours."

"Just until Bug gets her own baby."

"We are having one baby Adelaide."

"Next time we can have four?"

Quinn just cringed. The thought of four babies was horrific, the one she had inside her was bad enough. It wasn't exactly an enjoyable experience. She loved feeling the baby move, seeing Alfie and Addy fuss over it and she was excited to meet their little one but it hadn't been an easy pregnancy. "I don't think so Darlin'."

Quinn was feeling really uncomfortable, she couldn't sit still and once Addy was in bed she asked Alfie to take her for a walk. He did panic a little but she assured him it was just the baby kicking and squirming around and she wasn't having contractions, it was pushing on her diaphragm making it hard to breathe. "Lucky there's not four in there." Alfie joked. Addy had gone on and on about it over dinner. She had wanted to know that if Petal had four babies did that mean that there were four different Dads and hadn't been particularly satisfied with her Dad's answer that there was only one Dad.

"You would never touch me again if you impregnated me with four." It was nice to be out of the house and enjoy a few minutes with Alfie. The streets were quiet, the lights were just starting to take over from the sky as the sun was giving up the last of its light to the night sky.

"Oh Darlin' I give you millions of swimmers every time, it's you spitting out four eggs at once that would do it."

"Yes, fine. Well just in case I do spit out four eggs perhaps I should make sure your swimmers have no way of getting anywhere near them." Quinn sounded a little bit serious. "Best way to do that is either abstinence or the snip."

"Snip doesn't always work. Look at Bug."

"Abstinence it is then."

"What like now?" It had been strongly suggested that they don't have sex at the moment, much to Alfie's disappointment. Quinn wasn't too bothered; she was happy just to cuddle up to him but he found it a challenge. The risk of inducing preterm labour though was enough to put the kibosh on it. Whatever they had to do to keep their baby safe they would do. "I mean I slept alone all week."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Well I don't know, you could have had a different girl visit every night, I wouldn't know."

"I did." He wiggled his fingers at her. "Mrs Palmer and her five daughters stopped by a few times." Without Quinn to take care of him he was left to his own devices. "Especially when you kept sending me videos of that beautiful belly and that Bikini you rocked…well girl that got my motor going."

"Thought you'd like it. Dad, not so much." Quinn giggled a little, her Dad had been shocked when she came out in a bikini but Addy told her she looked beautiful.

"Do you think we should head back to Chicago in the morning?" Alfie had run her a bath and helped Quinn into it.

Quinn didn't even open her eyes. "What for?"

"I've just got a feeling, I'd like you closer to home."

Now she looked at him. "Alfie, baby I'm fine. The baby is just moving around, probably getting itself into position. They told us this would happen in the last few weeks."

"I'm just worried."

"I know, and it's really sweet but Addy is looking forward to spending a couple of days with you. She'll be so disappointed if we leave tomorrow, she's been patiently waiting all week." Quinn would never tell him that Addy had cried every night because she missed her Dad so much, it was the longest she'd been away from him. "I think it's important for her." Last night she was particularly bad, she just couldn't wait any longer. She had even reverted to asking for Alfie a few times.

"She'll understand."

"Baby she's five, she's been waiting all week, she's got things planned. Let's spend the next two days with Addy and make it all about her. She'll love it, pretty soon we won't get the chance to just focus on her."

"Okay." He nodded. "Okay."

Alfie didn't mind sharing a bed with his two girls. He loved spending the two days with Addy and she followed him around like a lost puppy. It was tough leaving her behind. She didn't love it, she begged to come home with them. Meg assured them that she had stopped crying not long after they left and she was downstairs mothering Petal and foisting all her anguish and love onto the poor cat.

Quinn's appointment didn't go as well as they hoped. They learned that the increased movement over the weekend had been the baby turning around and unfortunately it was now in a breech position.

"What's that mean?" Quinn just squeezed his hand tightly as Alfie panicked. "Is the baby okay?"

"Your baby is fine, it has just turned and is not in the ideal position for birth." The midwife assured them. "We would like it to be engaged by now. Let me get the Doctor and he will have a look and discuss the options with you."

Being left on their own, even for a few minutes was frightening. It felt like hours. Alfie kissed Quinn's forehead and he could feel her shaking. He tried to comfort her and remind her that they said the baby was fine but it was hard when his own heart was racing. Missing out on Addy's pregnancy and birth felt like a kick in guts but right now it seemed like a better option, at least he didn't have this stress.

The Doctor was calm though. "Firstly, your baby is fine. We have no concerns but they have decided to entertain us by rotating at the last minute. There are a couple of things we need to look at, growth has slowed a little, not much but I think it might be best to deliver your baby sooner rather than later. Now because they have decided to stick their butt down into your cervix we had a couple of options. We can try what's called an ECV, an external cephalic version, its where we manually try and turn your baby if you want to try and have a vaginal birth. You can choose to attempt a vaginal breech birth, it is a riskier birth but many women deliver a healthy breech baby. Or you can choose a C- section."

"What do you recommend?"

"My preferred option would be a C-section." Dr Howard answered quickly. "With how your baby is right now I don't think an ECV is the best choice." He explained that he did not like to perform ECV's on baby's that were perhaps a little undersized for their gestational age as their baby was.

"Can we talk about it?" Alfie knew Quinn was going to want to think about it, it was a lot of information to take in in a very short space of time. She was a thinker, he on the other hand, would jump in feet first.

"What's the safest for the baby?" She asked the Doctor, her hands were protectively cradling her stomach, like she was worried they were going to steal it from her then and there and Alfie covered her hands with his.

"For both of them." Alfie added. He had to worry about both of them but he knew Quinn was only worried about the baby.

"It is your decision but I think you'd be better with the C-section, but it is your baby, I can only suggest what I think is best. I will give you some time to decide. Have a chat, go for a walk. You may want to call your sister." Dr Howard was very aware that Alfie's sister was a Paediatrican. He knew Charlotte Hollister quite well. "I am sure she can answer all your questions about the baby."

"If we have the C-section when would that be?"

"Tomorrow. I think it's time to deliver your baby."

They hadn't expected any of this and they were a little blindsided and overwhelmed. The Doctor gave them an hour to have a chat. Alfie held her hand tightly as they left the building for some fresh air. He messaged Lola and asked her if she could meet them. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"I do. I don't want to risk anything. Have the C-section Quinn."

"I really wanted to try to have the baby naturally."

He understood that, he wanted Quinn to have the best experience possible but having them both healthy was all he needed. And that's what he told her. She just nodded. It was overwhelming enough being pregnant and being responsible for this life and she already felt like she had let Alfie down with all the issues they'd had and now the baby wasn't growing very well and it was in the wrong position and it was her fault. He never made her feel like that but that didn't stop her worrying constantly.

Lola met them, she had taken a quick look at their notes before she came down and talked to her Doctor. "What's the risk to the baby?" Alfie asked her.

"The lowest risk option is the C-section. Seriously, I know you that's not what you wanted but delivering a breech baby has risks, it can be hard for you, there is an increased risk to the baby and you may end up having an emergency C Section anyway and a C-section is major surgery. A planned C-section when you are not in labour is preferable, it is less stressful for the baby and for you."

"They said the baby is not growing?"

"Not as much as it should at this stage but it is growing. If you want my opinion, your baby is better out than in right now. Before it becomes an issue, it is 37 weeks, almost term."

"Okay." Quinn sat silently listening to Lola, she trusted her sister-in-law but Alfie had a million questions and some of them made her feel more anxious than she already was. He needed all the facts, good, bad and ugly.

"Dr Howard is amazing, if he's not worried then you shouldn't be. He does this every day. I talked to him and he thinks this is for the best and you will have a healthy little baby to love tomorrow."

Alfie called Meg, Quinn wasn't up to talking to anyone. When they got home she had a lie down and a good cry. Alfie had sat with her until she fell asleep. She was worried despite Lola's reassurance that 37 weeks was perfectly fine and not considered premature. "Hey Meg, how's Addy?"

"She's good. She's just gone to the shops with Joel."

"Can you bring her home?"

"Why? What's wrong? Is Quinn okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Quinn's fine. The baby moved over the weekend and its breech. We've decided to have a C-section in the morning." He didn't tell her about the slowed growth, Quinn didn't want to worry her Mom. As much as they told her it wasn't her fault Quinn couldn't stop herself feeling guilty that the baby's size was an issue.

"Oh my."

"Meg, it's okay. We have every confidence in the Doctors, they know what they are doing. Lola thinks it's best too. We are nervous but really excited and we'd love to have Addy here tonight and so that she can come and see her bubba tomorrow. Can you bring her up?"

"Sure, as soon as Joel gets back."

"Can you keep it to yourself? We don't want to worry her."

Addy was ecstatic to be going home. She had missed her Mum and Dad and hugged Quinn and kissed her bubba. "Did you miss me too much Blinky?" She asked Quinn's belly. "That's okay, I missed you too."

They were up early the next morning and before they left Alfie woke her up. "Hey Addy, guess what? Daddy's just going to take Mum to the hospital to have our baby. I need you to stay here with Nanna Meg and Pappy Joel and as soon as we have our baby I will call you okay."

"Can I come?"

"Not right now. We love you Addy, so much. We will see you soon, remember, be my Djinda."

"I will. I'm very excited."

"So are we. I can't wait to see you as a big sister." Alfie kissed and hugged his little girl. They'd come a long way and Addy had bought so much joy to his life. He loved that she was so excited about their new little baby and couldn't wait for her to meet her brother or sister.

He couldn't wait to see Quinn with her baby either.

Neither of them had slept well. They had talked a lot during the night about the baby, how they hoped the day would work out and talked about names, they had narrowed it down but were yet to make a decision. Alfie kept his hand on his baby all night, comforting both Quinn and himself. And they talked about Adelaide. Alfie reminded Quinn how beautiful a mother she was to Addy, how they had grown together and how much he loved seeing them learn together. He couldn't wait to see her with her new baby and as a mother of two.

This was not how they expected things to go and waiting in hospital for surgery wasn't the most pleasant feeling. Lola came in to see them early, as promised she hadn't told either Mae or Iris that they were having the baby today, they didn't want people to stress and worry. They just wanted to focus on what was in front of them.

"I've checked who's on call this morning. Lewis Morgan is the Paed, he's great and will take good care of our little one."

"I wish you could do it." Alfie really wanted Lola to take care of their baby but it wasn't allowed. They did talk about having her in the theatre with them but Lola explained that it would be too crowded and that they had a good team. She would be waiting outside and come and see them in recovery.

"Me too."

It felt all very clinical and Quinn was quiet. She had an epidural and freaked out a little when they wheeled her into surgery and Alfie wasn't with her. "He's just getting gowned up. We won't start until he's here." The nurse assured her.

Doctor Howard had a quick chat to them both. "Okay, we ready? Let's meet this little upside-down fidget." He had laughed earlier when he came in to talk to them about the surgery and the baby kicked his hand when he felt for it. They did one more ultrasound to make sure it hadn't suddenly rotated overnight even though Quinn didn't think it moved all that much.

The anaesthetist talked the them throughout. "What are we thinking? Boy or Girl?"

"I think it's a boy." Quinn had always thought it was a boy, Alfie was more on the girl side. He just had a feeling that he had another daughter on the way.

"First baby?"

"Sort of." Alfie found it hard to explain especially when he was anxious. "We have a five year old girl at home, but it's Quinn's first baby." Quinn laughed at how nervous Alfie sounded.

"Okay, ready Mom and Dad?" Dr Howard briefly peered over the drape. The midwife lowered Quinn's gown ready for them to lie the baby on her chest. "Well hello little lady. Welcome to the world."

They didn't know what to think when before their eyes was a tiny little girl. "Congratulations Mom and Dad." Quinn's hands were shaking as they placed her on her chest and she let out a good wail as they held their precious baby for the first time.

"Oh Alfie." She sobbed. "I love her."

"So perfect." He kissed her forehead as he stroked his daughter's hand. "Hello Darlin'."

They only had a few moments with her as she was taken off them for examination. She was tiny and they watched her squirming and flinging her arms and legs around as the Paediatrician checked her out. Alfie held Quinn's hand and tried to get as close to the baby as he could. He wanted to listen to what they were saying. Within minutes she was back with them, although it felt like forever for two anxious new parents. "She looks good." Dr Morgan assured them. "However, I'd like to take her up to the nursery for a bit more of a look. Just for an hour or so. You can come sit with her." He nodded at Alfie.

"What's wrong?"

"Her lungs might just need a little help clearing out, usually the labour process and birth does that but because she decided to show us her butt first we want to make sure she doesn't run into problems. I know it's a bit confronting but really I think she will be fine and back with you before you can think of a name." Dr Morgan softly stroked Quinn's forehead. He had been such a calming presence in the theatre and had come in to meet them before the surgery.

"It's Marlee." If Alfie was surprised that Quinn had named her he didn't show it. It was one of their favourite names for a girl but they hadn't really decided definitely. If that's what Quinn wanted then he was happy to go with that.

"Well what Marlee would really like right now is a go at feeding. How would you feel about that?"

"Can I?"

"Go for it." The midwife helped the baby find her way and she gave it a go for a few moments. She fussed and rooted around, letting go and searching for it again and Alfie was in awe of both of them. He videoed it all and captured the moment that his daughter made all Quinn's fears about being a mother disappear, he was watching her fall in love with his new daughter. He'd already watched her fall in love with Addy but this was something else and equally as beautiful. It melted his heart. They left them alone for a few minutes, or as alone as they could be with a room full of Doctors and nurses but they didn't interrupt their bonding with their daughter.

"Can you go with her?" Quinn didn't want Marlee left alone and they assured them that her Dad could stay with her. He didn't really want to leave Quinn either but she insisted that he go and look after his daughter. "Alfie she's just a tiny little girl, I don't want her to be scared or alone."

By the time they got down to the nursery Lola was waiting as they wheeled the humidicrib in with Alfie closely following. "And?"

"It's a girl."

"Oh Alfie, congratulations." Alfie appreciated the hug, he didn't really get the chance to hold onto Quinn once Marlee had arrived, there was a lot going on. "How's Quinn?"

"A little emotional but she didn't want her left alone. They said she's fine though?" It was more a question than a statement and he looked hopefully at his sister.

Lola took a look and had a quick chat to Dr Morgan. Their little girl was doing well and they were hoping that she wouldn't be here more than an hour or two.

The nurse scanned her name tag and asked Alfie again if this was his baby and his wife's name and date of birth to check they had the right baby. "Does she have a name yet?" The nurse who was taking care of her asked as she wiped over her face, cleaning her eyes a little, much to the newborn's disgust.

"Marlee."

"Beautiful. Hello little Marlee, your Daddy seems like he's waiting for a cuddle." She bundled her up to keep her warm and handed her to her father. He'd only had a quick hold in the operating theatre preferring to let Quinn hold her for as long as possible, he could wait.

Marlee felt as light as air in his hands. She weighed in at a touch over 6lbs and was a little smaller than they expected but seemed healthy. It was good that she had fed already and hopefully they would bring Quinn down soon to see her, he couldn't imagine how she was feeling and he felt a little guilty being here with Marlee when her mother was alone but Quinn wanted him here and he'd do whatever she wanted him to do. Lola took some photos and had left him to it and promised to go sit with Quinn for a few minutes. She kissed the top of her brother's head as he was watching his daughter. "She's just perfect Alfie, I am so happy for you and Quinn."

Alfie barely noticed she'd left. He was just staring at his daughter. Her eyes were closed but her face was twitching as she settled into life. He couldn't believe she was here, that this was his baby and having missed all this with Adelaide he didn't want to ever let her go. "My little Marlee." he kissed her forehead and played with her hand, her tiny fingers instinctively holding onto him. "Daddy loves you so much. You are so lucky; you've got the best Mummy waiting for you, she made you perfect and you are going to love Adelaide. She's going to adore you; she's been waiting for you to arrive for so long."

"Hey." Quinn was resting with her eyes closed when Lola knocked on the door before she came in. They had just bought her back to her room. "Can I come in?"

"Sure. Have you seen her?"

"I have." Lola kissed her sister-in-law. "She's beautiful Quinn. Congratulations."

"Is she okay?"

"Perfect. Alfie is just having a cuddle now while they are making sure she is breathing okay. It all looks really good; they are really happy with her and I think she'll be back here with you soon. They are not worried about anything." Lola showed her a video of her examination and then Alfie having a cuddle. "He looks so happy."

"I just want to hold her."

Lola pulled up a chair and held her hand as she cried. It was overwhelming for everyone. She had been lucky and had both her baby's with her after they were born. It had been such a whirlwind, having less than 24hours notice that your baby needed to be born now to avoid problems and she could understand why Quinn was feeling so distraught. Lola knew how much Quinn was hoping for a normal delivery after the difficult pregnancy and as much as you told yourself that as long as the baby was healthy it didn't matter, it did matter. "I know, I can't imagine how devastating this feels for you not being with your baby girl. I'm just going to sit here with you okay?"

"Okay."

"Her name is beautiful. Little Marlee."

"It is, does it suit her?"

"Perfectly. It's gorgeous, like she is."

"Alfie really liked it but we hadn't really decided. When I saw her I thought she looked like a Marlee and I think Alfie was a bit shocked. It is an Aboriginal name, he really wanted that for Adelaide."

"Adelaide and Marlee, what two perfect girls. You are such a lucky Mom with those two." Lola laughed. "I never imagined Alfie with girls. He's going to be like Dad, everything will freak him out." Never did any of Alfie's family make Quinn feel like she wasn't Addy's mother in every way. Despite not giving birth to her Quinn was Addy's Mom, Addy called her Mom and she couldn't have loved that little girl any more if she tried.

"Do you think he's disappointed?"

"Nope. He's in heaven. Always has been a ladies man." Lola knew that Alfie didn't care about whether it was a boy or girl. They just wanted a healthy baby and that's what they got. "Alfie is such a good dad. He's been the best brother; he's grown up knowing how to take care of us girls. We are the lucky ones. Addy and Marlee are two very lucky little girls."

"I think so too."

"I am so happy for you Quinn. We love you so much, so much. You have been the perfect person for our Alfie. He adores you and I know you adore him. This is perfect. Your little family is beyond perfect. Mom and Dad would be so happy. Pops would be crazy right now with another girl to love and MiMi would love you and Marlee."

Lola left when Alfie came back. "She's sleeping right now." He smothered Quinn with love when she cried. "So perfect Darlin', she's so perfect. Thank you for my little girl. I love you so much, I can't believe she's ours and she's here and I can't imagine life without her, or you and Adelaide. I mean can you believe we made her?"

"Do you want to call Addy?"

"Let's wait a bit. I just want to stay in this little bubble for a bit and spend time with you." He did relent and send her Mom a message saying everything was good and Quinn was just settling into her room, the baby was being checked out but doing well and they would call soon. The midwife came in to check on them and Doctor Howard stuck his head in and assured them it all went well. "She was jammed up nice and tight so I think it was the best option." They talked them through the next few days, she still had the catheter in and an IV and would for a little while yet. She wasn't allowed up just yet because the epidural was still affecting her lower half and they talked through pain relief and that paracetamol was completely safe to take while breast feeding. They got Quinn to express some milk which they promised to give to Marlee, she would be back with them soon and Quinn could feed her as much as she liked but they wanted to stimulate her breast to produce milk at this early stage when she didn't have Marlee with her.

Within an hour the midwife came in and told Alfie that Marlee was awake and ready to come see Mom. The wait for Quinn was excruciating and as soon as he wheeled her through the door she burst into tears. "Hey Little Marlee, someone is desperate to give you lots of love." He picked up his tiny newborn daughter and handed Quinn her baby.

"Oh Marlee, my beautiful little angel. Hi." Quinn sobbed. "I've missed you."

"Wow. Perfect."

"She is."

"No, you both are."

They spent a few minutes with Marlee while she fed, which she wasn't that great at doing just yet and they checked her out completely, unwrapping her to see her in all her perfect glory before they called Addy.

"Oh, it's my bubba." Addy didn't even give them a chance to say hello. "It's so cute." They had her on face time. "Is it a sister?"

That's all Addy wanted. "Hey Addy…" Alfie beamed. "…it's your little sister."

"Oh yay." She jumped up and squealed. "A sister." Meg was barely holding the phone still as she cried.

"Say hi to Marlee."

"Oh, she's so beautiful." Meg gushed. "We can't wait to meet her." They asked her parents to bring Addy in and Addy was halfway out the door already, with her bag of stuff that she had insisted they buy for the baby and a card she had made for her Mum. While Addy had picked up a little bit of an American accent and many of the words, she still had that Australian inflection on the word Mum.

Addy was beside herself. Meg had to warn her at one stage to calm down when she yelled at them to hurry up. She had also tried to take her seatbelt off before the car had stopped which got her a stern rebuke and Addy crumbled and dissolved into a flood of tears. They made her calm down before they took her in.

Meg helped her out of the car and crouched down in front of her crying granddaughter. "I know you are excited Adelaide, but you need to just breathe a little bit. Mum and Dad don't want you to get hurt doing something silly because you are excited, okay?" Addy nodded her head and took a deep breath. Meg was a very calming influence on Addy, who struggled to rein herself in.

"Sorry Nanna Meg."

"It's okay Addy, it's very exciting. Let's go meet this little sister of yours."

"Is she your sister too?"

"No, she's my granddaughter." Meg smiled down at the beautiful little girl holding her hand. "Like you are."

"I'm happy you're my Nanna Meg." Addy skipped along beside her. "I will tell Marlee to be happy too."

Marlee was asleep in her cot beside the bed when she came charging through the door. Joel had let them know that they were on their way up and they put Marlee back in her cot so they could have their hands free for Addy but she didn't even bother with saying hi to her Mum and Dad she went straight for the baby. "Oh, she is so cute, so cute. I love her so much. Can I hold her?"

"Of course. Sit up with Mum and give her a cuddle first, she's missed you too." Alfie helped her up onto the bed beside Quinn, reminding her that Mum had an operation so she had to be a little bit careful.

"Does it hurt?" She asked her Mum.

"A little bit, but I think a cuddle from you will help." Addy happily gave her a quick cuddle as Alfie picked up Marlee ready for her first sister cuddle.

"I love her." Addy gushed. She kissed Marlee's head as Alfie snapped the perfect photo, Addy was in her element, this was all she ever wanted. Her mind worked in mysterious ways sometimes, she'd come a long way and had a rough road for a while but her Bubba made her feel safe and that was just as important to them as Marlee was.

Quinn overcome with emotion when Addy gave her a card with all her very creative writing and curly tails. _'I love you Mum, you are the best Mum in the whole wide world, thank you for my bubba. Lots and lots and lots of hugs and kisses, Adelaide.' _She had quickly scribbled _'I love my sister' _along the bottom before they left home.

Once Addy and Quinn's parents had a good long cuddle he called Iris. "Hey Bug. You wanna come meet Marlee?"

"Marlee?"

"Yes, our little baby girl Marlee is right here having lots of cuddles with her very proud big sister Adelaide."

Alfie didn't need to have it on speaker, the whole room heard Iris's scream. "Oh, why didn't I know this?"

"She made her grand entrance about four hours ago and we've been a little busy. She's perfect and healthy and tiny. Her name is Marlee. Are you coming or not?" Alfie explained that Quinn had required and C-section and that Marlee had a couple of hours in the nursery, hence the delay in calling her. "The first thing the world saw was her butt."

"I'm coming." Wild horses couldn't have kept her away. "Do you have a photo? Oh, how's Quinn?" Alfie sent her a photo of Addy and Marlee together. If the camera was out at the moment, Addy was in there.

"She's good. Showing off her awesome Mum skills. Already."

Mae was just as excited and by the time they had all arrived the had finally decided on her full name. They were a little surprised at how tiny she was. Poppy had been small too but Marlee just seemed tiny and fragile.

"This is Marlee Polly Ruzek Hollister. Marlee is an aboriginal name and Polly because she would have loved her and I miss her." Alfie told them. "Ruzek because Pops and MiMi meant the world to me." Their parents never hyphenated their name but they were all Ruzek Hollister. The boys all had Ruzek in their names although Poppy and Adelaide didn't. No one really knew why they didn't but Alfie was happy to give his newest daughter the Ruzek name and Quinn had no desire to give her own maiden name. She was a little traditional and had changed her name to Hollister when they got married. Mae and Lola had kept their maiden names, especially at work but Quinn was happy to make the change.

He sent the photo of Addy and Marlee to the rest of the family and also to Walter, Tara, Liz and Sheldon back in Australia. Alfie had called Gus himself.

'_Adelaide is delighted to show you her brand new baby sister, Marlee Polly Ruzek Hollister. She has already declared herself the best big sister in the world and that her little Marlee is the 'cutest baby ever' and we tend to agree. Welcome to the circus tent Marlee, you've kept us on our toes already so now that you are here it's time to chill. Quinn did an amazing job growing our little girl and watching her fall in love with her new daughter has been amazing. It's the second time I've watched her fall in love with our girls and I've gotta say it never gets old. Marlee's vital statistics were 6lbs 1oz, a touch under 19inches long and she changed our lives forever at 935am. Lucky I love the Ladies.'_


	63. My Girls

Mae stuck her head in the door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Quinn was sitting up in the chair by the window with Marlee asleep on her lap. Her hand was covering her little girl protectively. "It's nice to have company."

"How are you?" Mae bent down and kissed Quinn's cheek before taking a peek at Marlee.

"I just want to go home."

"Tomorrow yeah?"

"Hopefully." Quinn had stayed an extra few days because her milk was slow coming in and they wanted to see Marlee feeding well before they left because she was so tiny. It wasn't unusual that a C-Section and epidurals delayed milk production slightly. She tried to be grateful that she had a healthy little girl but nothing had gone as she planned and that was a bitter pill to swallow. Addy wanted them to come home, seeing her 'bubba' after school wasn't enough for her and she never wanted to leave.

"That's when the shit really hits the fan."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"It's funny, before they are here you are like, I'm staying right here where I have people to help and at my beck and call for every little freak out and then you have your baby in your arms and you just want to go home and live in this little bubble with your people."

"Even the first time?"

"Yep. I couldn't wait to get Poppy home even though I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I had a clue with Max but he was so different to Poppy it was like being a brand new Mom all over again and we had Poppy who demanded attention too. I wanted to take Max home the day he was born."

"It's weird, like I feel like I am Addy's Mom yet I am completely unprepared for Marlee."

"I was completely unprepared for both of them." Mae laughed. "Lucky you and Alfie are both newbies. George and I learnt together, we fucked it up more than once I can tell you."

It was true and Quinn kept forgetting that. Alfie had no idea about being a parent to a newborn either. His experience was limited to watching Lola and Mae be parents and all he did was cuddle them, play with them and give them back.

"True, he's still ahead of me though."

"Nah, you grew this bundle of adorableness, you've kept her alive for four days now. You are so far ahead of him it's not funny and remember they are hard to break."

"Good to know." Quinn looked down at Marlee. "Thanks to you too, for all your help and love and support."

"Hey. I adore you and Marlee... and well that brother of mine too." Mae reached for Quinn's hand. "It was such a small thing that I could do to help. Whatever gets you and Marlee home where you belong."

Quinn had been devastated when it was suggested to her that Marlee needed more milk than Quinn could give her. She was struggling to feed her in the first few days and Marlee had lost a little more weight than they liked. Her choices were banked milk or formula and Quinn felt like she was failing. On top of the C-section, the difficult pregnancy and her breech presentation it was all eroding her confidence.

Mae had just come in to see them when they had told her about their concerns and Quinn burst into tears. Mae didn't think twice about offering but understood it was a kick in the guts. "Quinn, sweetheart, I know this isn't going how you wanted but if you think it's too weird or too much I won't be offended. I have milk at home, in the freezer. If you want to give Marlee that rather than a strangers milk or formula then I am more than happy to bring it in. Max isn't having all that much anymore."

"I don't want everyone to think I'm a failure."

"You are not a failure. Look at her, she's beautiful and in a couple of days this will be forgotten and Marlee will be home with all of you being loved and adored, and knowing Addy a little smothered."

"Can you not tell anyone?" Mae could see how upset Quinn was, nothing was going right and she could only imagine how that felt. Being a new Mom was overwhelming, you felt like your heart was no longer in your chest and if it wasn't as perfect as you imagined it was hard to see the positives.

"Alfie will want to know and won't care; he just wants you and Marlee to come home." Alfie and Addy had stopped by on the way home last night, he just didn't want to go home to his empty house yet and he told Mae how desperately he wanted both of them home. They had waited so long for Marlee through a challenging pregnancy and it had been a tough few months for all of them. Having Marlee home would help him relax into being a father of a newborn, it didn't quite feel real and he hated walking out of that hospital twice a day without her and Quinn.

"Oh I will tell him; I just don't want everyone to think I can't do this and talking about it."

"You, me and Alfie, that's all. Not even George will know." She could understand how Quinn felt and no matter how many times you told someone that they weren't failing it made no difference. Her baby wasn't growing and Mae remember how obsessed she was with Poppy's weight when she was a newborn. "It's just between us and nobody else needs to know anything other than that beautiful little girl is loved and adored and growing."

Quietly Mae bought in her milk and Marlee guzzled it down and Quinn struggled to convince herself that it didn't mean anything, that she wasn't starving Marlee and that this was a good thing. Nobody knew, not even the midwives, Quinn gave her the bottle of milk when nobody was around and she convinced the nurses to wait another day before they topped her up, Marlee was settled and the next day she'd stop losing weight. She hadn't put anything on but she didn't lose anymore and that kept everyone happy.

Alfie had been a bit shocked when she had tearfully told him what they had done but Marlee's health was all that mattered to him, they needed to come home. He was having a cuddle before he went to work and Quinn came out of the shower and took one look at them together and burst into tears. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing." She waved him away but his loving hand squeeze broke her. "I gave her some of Mae's milk."

"What? How?"

"They wanted to give her formula and I didn't want it and Mae was here and said she had milk at home for Max that I could use so I did. I didn't want her to have formula and I didn't want you to think that I failed her and that I am not a good Mom." Alfie jumped up and cuddled them both.

"I don't think you are a failure; I think you are both beyond perfect and you are learning together and whatever we have to do to get you and Marlee out of here I don't care. I want you home with us where we can love and adore you all day, both of you." He kissed Quinn's tear dampened cheeks. "I love you so much."

The next day Quinn's milk came in and she didn't need Mae's help anymore but she was grateful for it and that Mae kept her word. Nobody knew.

Even Alfie didn't talk to Mae about it, he just squeezed her hand a little tighter when he saw her next and she understood. If they wanted to pretend it didn't happen then she was okay with that as long as it helped Marlee and Quinn.

Mae reached into the bag she had bought with her. "I am not sure if you have a family tradition, or want to start one but this is ours. My grandmother, MiMi came home wrapped in this blanket." Mae handed Quinn the soft delicate blanket. "It was knitted by her grandmother, it's close to one hundred years old. My Mom came home in it and so did we and all our babies. We'd really love you to bring Marlee home wrapped in this."

"Oh Mae it's beautiful, it's so precious and delicate. Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course. It's Marlee's turn."

Quinn gently laid it over Marlee. "It's beautiful Mae."

"Just like my little Marlee Moo." Quinn folded the blanket and set it aside before picking up Marlee and handing her to her Aunt for a cuddle. "She's part of this circus, like it or not. You can't escape now."

"Yeah well, I married your whole mob didn't I? I had the chance to get away." Even the days she got overwhelmed by Alfie's family it felt nice to be able to tell them to back off rather than wonder if she'd ever hear from them again. Their support throughout her pregnancy was amazing and Quinn never felt like she couldn't ask for help and they all helped out with Addy when she was made to take it easy. It had also been nice that they were so happy and excited about her wedding. Isla sent them a present and apologised for not making it, she didn't even give a reason why she wasn't coming. She did call when she had Marlee but barely stayed on the phone for five minutes and never asked about Alfie.

Mae didn't stay long and Lola stuck her head in briefly when she was up on the ward like she did whenever she was near maternity, she couldn't walk past the door and not get a sneaky cuddle of her niece. Riley was concerned that his wife was a little too enthusiastic about the new baby. He was waiting for the call up to get on the tools again.

Meg had stayed down in Chicago while Quinn was in hospital to help with Addy and would bring her in after school. Alfie was still at work until Quinn and Marlee came home, she'd need the help then. "How was your day sweetheart?" Addy at least hugged her Mom before she checked on her sister today, which was a nice change.

"Good. We had sports practice and I won the race." It was sports day next Friday and Quinn was really hoping they would be able to go. Alfie would be home so she could leave Marlee with him if need be but they both wanted to go and Addy really wanted them all to come.

"Well that's awesome."

"I was very fast, it's because I am 'raborigine'. I think." Quinn just laughed; Addy had got some bee in her bonnet lately. She had gotten a book from Walter about famous Indigenous athletes and she was obsessed with it, Addy didn't do things by halves. She was all in. Now she was already peering off to the side while she was talking to her Mum. "How's Marlee Moo?"

"She's very good today, she had lots of milk, she's been a bit of a guts."

"So she'll get big and strong and come home?"

"Absolutely. Would you like a cuddle? Marlee has been waiting all day for you."

"Does she miss me?"

"We both do."

What Addy really liked was lying on the bed with Marlee beside her, she would wiggle down so she was facing her and tell her about her day, whether Marlee was awake or not. She was so gentle with her, touching her hands and her feet or stroking her head and talking or singing to her. Today she was telling her about her race and how fast she was and that one day when Marlee was bigger she would teach her how to run really fast too. Although not as fast as her obviously because '_you know, you aren't a raborigine.'_

"This is beautiful." Meg picked up the blanket that was on the table.

"It is isn't it. Mae bought it in. Apparently her grandmother came home from hospital in it and her mother and all of them as well, including Alfie. It's a family heirloom."

"What a lovely thing, they must really treasure it."

"Me too?" Addy overheard them talking about it.

"No sweetheart, you were very special and came to us all grown up."

"I was a baby too."

"Yes you were, you were a beautiful baby and your Mum Jedda took good care of you until Daddy came and got you." They always talked to Addy about Jedda and explained to her what it meant. That she had two Mum's, Jedda who gave birth to her and Quinn who was her mum now. She did seem to understand but had asked if she had a 'birth Daddy' too? They explained that Alfie was her 'birth daddy' and her 'daddy now' And that apparently was _cool_.

"Before she died."

"Yes."

"Did she have a special blanket for me?"

"I am sure she had something special for you." Quinn had no idea; they honestly hadn't thought about it.

"Can we get it for Marlee?"

"We have this blanket that Daddy came home in. It's very special for Daddy and he will be so happy to bring Marlee home in it too." Quinn twirled Addy's ponytail around her hand. "When he gets here we will ask him about what your Mommy did for you."

She didn't know if there was anything but Alfie did have a box of things from when Addy was a baby, he'd packed it up and bought it over with her but they hadn't looked at it since the start of the pregnancy and didn't really think about something like a blanket or clothes to come home in. They didn't know a lot about Jedda's pregnancy, there was barely any record or mention of it and they had never seen a photo of Jedda pregnant. It was another chunk of Addy's life they were missing.

Marlee stretched her little arm out and let out a squawk which Addy loved. "Open your eyes Marlee, I'm here." She cooed at her sister. Addy squealed when Marlee opened her eyes. "Good girl. Hi Marlee Moo. I missed you today."

Marlee was content to wiggle and squirm for a few moments as she woke up properly and then let out a loud wail when she decided it was time to feed. Addy helped her Mom change her diaper and then watched her feed. She was up on her knees beside Quinn. "Drink lots Marlee Moo and then you can come home."

When Alfie arrived after work Meg left them to have dinner and spend some time together as a new family. "Daddy, Marlee Moo had lots to drink today."

"Well that's good to hear." He scooped Addy up and smothered her with kisses. They were making sure that Addy had as much love and attention as Marlee was getting. "Have you had a good day? How was school today?"

"I won a race, it was practice. Are you coming to my race next week?"

"I really hope so. Mum and I really want to come."

"And Marlee?"

"We hope so, remember that she is little though and sometimes we can't take her out especially when it's cold. We have to keep her safe and warm."

"Please Daddy. I want my friends to see Marlee?" Addy was practically begging and bordering on bursting into tears.

"We'll see." He sat Addy up on his lap and just hugged her for a while and she sat back and enjoyed the attention. Alfie was itching to have a cuddle of his Marlee though, he'd seen her briefly that morning on his way to work but she was sleeping at the time. Quinn had sent him a video of her when she was undressed and being weighed which she didn't love…at all. He noticed the blanket on the end of the bed and nodded towards it. "Mae bought it in?"

"She did, it's beautiful." Quinn inclined her head towards Addy. "Addy wants to know if she had something special to come home in that perhaps Marlee might like too?"

"Did I Daddy?"

"I am sure you did; I think it is a very cute tiny little hat. How about when we go home we will find it so that Marlee can wear it?" He recalled that she wore a hat in some photos and while he wasn't sure if she came home from hospital with it he would find it for Addy or they would chose something special just from Addy.

"Can we go find it now?" She was keen to get into it.

"Not yet Darlin', we are going to have some dinner here with Mum and Marlee."

"Marlee can't eat dinner Daddy.." Addy's eye roll was a touch dramatic and made them chuckle. "…she just has Boob juice." He cringed a little, of all the ways they had explained to her about Quinn's breast milk the only words that stuck were Boob Juice thanks to Colton. His family were assholes sometimes.

"I know, but you can have dinner and also I am going to cuddle Marlee. She loves her Daddy cuddles as much as you do."

Alfie was very sweet with her and Quinn loved watching him with his little girl. He had both of them on his lap and Addy was playing with Marlee's hand. She really hoped that Addy and Marlee would have the kind of relationship that Alfie's sisters shared as opposed to the fractured and tenuous one she had with Isla.

Quinn decided that she needed to go for a walk and took Addy with her just to give Alfie a few minutes alone with Marlee. He didn't get much of chance to just sit with Marlee, Addy was always all over him and Marlee and if they had other visitors he didn't get to see her much. He was very patient waiting for his turn.

"Marlee, it's good to see you. I hear you've been a bit of a Djinda today?" he cooed at his sleeping daughter, it still surprised him seeing her tiny hand curled around his finger. "I can't wait to get you and your Mum home."

It was nice to have dinner together and Addy gave Marlee a big cuddle before they left. "I'm so excited Marlee Moo, I'm going to show you all around our house and you can look at Kitty but can't touch her because that's not good for you." Addy chatted away to her sister. "I've told Kitty as well but I think she is a bit silly still, she's just a baby and a cat."

The first thing Addy and Alfie did when they got home was get out her box of baby things. She hunted through the box, tipping everything out until she found something. It was a little black yellow and red knitted hat, the colours of the Indigenous flag. "It's not pretty like Marlee." Addy's bottom lip quivered; she was so disappointed.

"Addy, it's beautiful. You know what those colours mean? That's the colour of your flag and Jedda was so proud of where you came from, I'm proud of who you are and that's why we also made sure Marlee had a name that comes from your language. Walter sends you beautiful things all the time and I think this is a very special thing for Marlee to wear."

"I wanted her to be pretty."

"She is pretty. I love this hat." Alfie found Addy's book and they sat and looked through all the photos of her as a baby and she was wearing that hat when she was a tiny baby and that was good enough for Addy. "Mum will love it too, and she'll love that you wore it when you were a little baby. That will be really special for Marlee and something just for you and her."

"And my brother, when I get another baby." Addy was already planning the next one, Quinn was going to be ecstatic to hear that considering they hadn't even bought Marlee home yet.

"Slow your roll sunshine. Let's get Marlee home first."

"Can I give this to Marlee?"

"Of course you can. We will drop in and see Marlee before we go to school tomorrow."

"I don't want to go to school. I want to bring Marlee home. I told her I will show her around her new house." Addy pouted, it was cute and he tried not to laugh. "Please Alfred, please." The begging was cute, even the way she called him Alfred, he couldn't help but love it.

Alfie wasn't sure. They weren't a hundred percent certain that she would actually come home tomorrow. It was likely but not definite, it would depend if she fed well and had put on weight when they weighed her in the morning . Quinn was begging to come home though and feeding her every time she moved. "We'll see." He wasn't sure who was more desperate, his wife or his daughter.

He took Addy upstairs for a bath. "I'll be a Djinda. I'll help Mum. She needs my help."

"Addy, sweetheart Marlee might not come home tomorrow we will have to see what the Doctor says in the morning."

"But Lola's a Doctor she can let Marlee come home." Alfie loved his chats with Addy, she was curious about everything and loved to talk, her conversations were getting more considered and she thought about things and they always encouraged her to think and tried not to rush and give her answers. Even though sometimes the answers she gave were out of left field.

"Lola is not Marlee's Doctor."

"Why not?"

"Because it's against the rules."

Alfie talked to Quinn once Addy was in bed. "How's Moo?" Her little nickname seemed to have stuck.

"Sleeping right now, she was a bit of a pain at her last feed."

"How come?"

Like Quinn had any idea why Marlee did anything. "I wish I knew. She's a law unto herself. I have no idea what I am doing." He did notice the little quiver in her voice. He'd also learned, through listening to Lola and Mae trying to help Quinn, about some of the horror stories about how they struggled being a new mom. He had no idea that Mae had bleeding and cracked nipples, so much so that her milk was pink and for three days she cried in agony every time Poppy fed. Lola, much to his horror talked about waking up with their bed looking like a crime scene where Sam had slept longer than expected and she had bled everywhere, or when her boobs were so sore and swollen that she actually punched Riley when he rolled over and knocked them in his sleep.

"Hey, your Mom is still here, Addy's asleep you want me to come in?"

"I'm okay. I just really want to come home." Quinn tried not to cry. "I miss you and Addy."

Alfie went in anyway. Quinn was asleep when he arrived and he took a peek at Marlee, who was also sleeping before her woke Quinn up with a soft kiss. "I miss you too." They spent an hour together before Marlee woke and Alfie stayed while she fed and had a cuddle before he went home. Being caught between the two wasn't easy, he just wanted them all under the one roof.

_'Marlee Moo is home.' _Addy happily squealed into the camera. She had Marlee in her lap and Alfie filmed her excitement to send to his sisters.

They had let Addy stay home from school and she was beside herself when her Dad told her that were going to pick up Mum and Marlee from the hospital. "Really?" she gasped. "Marlee is coming home?"

"Yep and Mum too."

"I'm so happy."

Alfie picked her up and hugged her tightly. "I thought you might be, I can't wait either. I can't wait to see you be a big sister."

"Can we go now?"

"After breakfast." Addy shovelled in her breakfast, did her jobs, which included feeding Kitty and got dressed without having to be nagged and reminded constantly to get a move on.

Addy made sure Marlee's bedroom was ready for her and put a card that she had made on her bed. She also put one on Quinn's side of the bed. Checking that her Dad had Marlee's hat before they left she literally dragged him out of the house.

Quinn was waiting for them; Marlee was already in her car seat with the precious white blanket tucked around her and Quinn's bag was packed. "She's just waiting for her hat." Alfie had talked to Quinn about it last night and how Addy wasn't sure it was pretty enough for her sister. "We can't go home without a hat on. Can you put it on Marlee for me?"

Addy was so gentle, it was a bit crooked and covered Marlee's eyes but she didn't seem to mind, she was sound asleep. They took a photo of Addy perched up next to the car seat grinning madly. It was the 'best day of her life.' Replacing all the other 'best days of her life' she'd had lately.

"Look at my two beautiful girls." Quinn honestly couldn't believe that this was her life, her two beautiful girls and their Daddy. "I'm the luckiest Mum in the world."

"The best Mummy." Addy leant over and whispered to Marlee. "You wait and see Marlee Moo."

They did wonder how long Addy was going to be Quinn's shadow. Whenever she needed help with Marlee Addy was there. She wanted to help change her, would talk to her when she was awake and check on her when she was asleep. Every time Marlee opened her eyes Addy was up in her face.

If she wasn't fussing over Marlee she was fussing over her Mum.

Quinn loved the card on her pillow. '_I'm so happy that you are home. I love you Mum Thank you for being me and Marlee's Mum.'_

It was a nice first day at home with just Alfie and his girls and when Addy finally went to bed, after saying goodnight to Marlee three times Quinn loved that Alfie spent time with Marlee. While she showered Alfie sat on the bed with his precious little girl resting on his knees. She was awake and staring at her Dad, listening to his voice as he talked to her softly.

"First day Marlee, how do you think we went? Addy certainly kicked some big sister goals, hey? And you, you just blow me away. I can't believe you are home and I have three of the most gorgeous women on the planet in my house that I get to love." Alfie kissed her little hand as her fingers curled around his thumb.

"You are in for a hell of a ride Moo. No dating, no boys, no bikinis, nothing. I might book you and your sister into a nunnery. Nobody will be good enough for you, I give you fair warning."

Tearing his gaze away from Marlee as Quinn hobbled back out he noticed the look on her face, she was tired. "How'd you go?"

"Slow, sore and leaking."

"Should I ask from where?"

"Pick a hole."

He covered Marlee's ears playfully. "Don't listen Darlin'." He whispered. "Mummy's being gross."

"It's ugly."

"Lucky she's so pretty then." He pointed to the baby.

Quinn lowered herself on the bed carefully. She was still pretty tender along her scar line. "You make pretty babies." She touched Marlee's hand softly.

"I do don't I?"

"Also very up yourself."

"Yep." Alfie lay her down between them so they could both touch her. "Addy was good hey?"

"She is so happy. I hope it lasts."

"I was like that with Bug apparently, I was obsessed with her." Lola and Mae had teased him about that constantly, especially since Quinn had been pregnant and Addy was the ultimate mother hen. She hadn't let up right through the pregnancy and it seemed like she got that from her Daddy.

"You still are."

"Not as obsessed as I am with Addy and Marlee and you."

Quinn could barely keep her eyes open and Alfie let her sleep while he changed Marlee and put her in the cot in their room. She'd be sleeping in here with them for a few months which confused Addy. She had spent a lot of time helping make her nursery 'pretty' and they explained to her how she would sleep in there during the day and had to be close to them at night because that was safest for her.

It was the weekend and Addy loved being at home with Marlee and they didn't plan on leaving the house. She was up early and in their bedroom before dawn. "Is Marlee still here?" She whispered to her Mum.

"She is, she's sleeping so go to the bathroom and then come hop in bed with us."

Addy did as she was told and crawled up into bed between her Mum and Dad, she knew she had to be careful because her Mum had an operation and was still sore. She tried to go back to sleep but just waited to hear Marlee, every time she grunted, which she did quite a bit Addy gasped and asked if she was awake. She had fed two hours ago so would probably be awake shortly but it was nice to cuddle Addy for a while even if she was just waiting for Marlee. Addy asked a million questions, how many times did she wake up, has she done a poo, is she bigger today?

Helping her Dad change Marlee when she woke Addy sat and played with her feet while her Mum fed her and then she got to lie on the bed and talk to her sister. Alfie stayed with them while Quinn had a shower, she hated how disgusting she felt each morning. Her boobs leaked, among other things and everyone had told her to make the most of having Alfie at home to shower and to rest as much as possible. He'd made her have a lie down yesterday afternoon when Marlee was sleeping while he spent some quiet time with Addy.

Now it was a new day and Addy had so much to discuss with her sister. "Did you like sleeping at home?" She was in absolute heaven, this was everything she ever wanted. "I was very excited; I could hardly sleep. I tried to stay awake so when you woke up I could come and see you but you were very quiet and I got very tired. I'm sorry."

Marlee stared at her, waving one arm jerkily in front of her face. "I think today we will have lots of visitors, they all want to see you. I will make sure Sam and Poppy and Billy are careful. Max is still too little to play with you, he can't walk yet. He's like you, just a baby, but he's bigger, oh and a boy. Sam thinks he's going to be just as silly as Billy is. Billy broke Sam's Emu so you will have to look after you Koala. You are too little to do that yet, so I will do it for you, okay?"

Alfie just laughed to himself listening to Addy. "What shall you wear today? You've got to look pretty. I like dresses. What's your favourite colour? I like yellow, I think you should wear pink, people bought you lots of pink things, oh and my hat, you can wear my hat again. That's a raborigine hat, like me. You're not a raborigine like me though, but you are my sister."

Addy was on a roll, they'd swear she'd had an IV of sugar overnight the way she was going on and on. "Oh and kitty, she's a baby too, but a cat baby so she does all sorts of crazy things, she climbs, she runs, she plays with her toys. You can't play with her because she can make you sick or dead and I don't want that." Alfie was a touch concerned about the dead conversation but obviously Addy had been listening to them after all, at times they doubted she heard one damn thing they said with regards to the kitten.

Marlee managed to bring up some milk. "Oh, she spewed." Addy shrieked. "On the bed."

Alfie cleaned it up quickly, assuring Addy that it was okay and Marlee wasn't sick. She'd seen babies bringing up milk, particularly Max who was a bit of a spewer but her sister was a whole new kettle of fish and Addy was a worry wart. She was worried that Marlee would have to go back to hospital.

When Marlee managed to unload completely and had poo up her back and leaking out of the side of her jumpsuit Addy wigged out. "She's got a runny bottom, she's sick. Can you call Lola? She'll fix her, please Alfred. Marlee is sick."

"Marlee is not sick Darlin', it means she getting lots of Mum's juice and growing big and strong. It's perfectly normal, Marlee's fine sweetheart." Alfie tried to get her to calm down. "It's a bit disgusting though isn't it?"

"Yes." He told her to ask Lola and Mae about when Bug pooped in the bath.

Despite that she told Quinn the moment she came out of the shower and eventually they called Lola and asked her to talk Addy off her ledge. She didn't believe that Marlee wasn't sick and didn't need to go back to hospital until Lola told her it was perfectly okay, because Lola's a _'Doctor and knows about babies and stuff.'_

Getting her to school on Monday was a feat and a half. There were tears, gut wrenching sobs and Alfie promised to bring her Mum and Marlee with him when he came to pick her up. "Marlee and Mum might stay in the car but they will come. Just today though." He made a deal with her. Addy agreed but was pretty sure by tomorrow she'd be bargaining hard to it to happen again. She was first out the door at the end of the day, which was unlike Addy and she held Marlee's hand all the way home in the car. "Was she good today Mum? Did she drink lots?"

"She was a very good girl today."

"Oh that's good. Did she miss me?"

"We all did sweetheart."

It did get easier as the week went on and she made a beeline for Marlee before her bag hit the ground. As soon as Marlee was awake Addy got a cuddle. Alfie picked her up every day and the first thing she asked was how was Marlee's day and if she did anything new or exciting.

They also made sure they both went to her school sports day. It was a cold windy day but the rain stayed away fortunately and they had told Addy that it depended on the weather, if it was raining they couldn't bring Marlee out because she might get sick.

Marlee was wrapped up warm with Addy's hat on in her pram. Addy jumped up and ran over to see them when she saw them arrive not that she was all that bothered by her parents. She peered in the pram and Marlee was fast asleep. "You came Marlee Moo. Will she be awake for my race?"

"Maybe not, but we are here." Alfie tapped her on the shoulder. "Now Addy sweetheart I think your teacher is calling you. We will stay here and watch okay. Go and be a superstar."

"That's my sister." They heard her yelling at Mr Webster, her teacher. "Marlee came."

He reached for Addy's hand and led her back to her class group, waving at Alfie and Quinn. He was a great teacher and he knew how excited Addy had been about her new sister. It had been her news for three days straight.

Addy didn't win her race, much to her disappointment but the fact that Marlee had woken up and 'seen' her race softened the blow. Alfie and Quinn didn't mind that she didn't win, they weren't those type of parents. Alfie always told her that sometimes things didn't go the way you wanted. Losing was okay as long as you did your best. There would always be someone better, faster, stronger than you.

"I wanted to win for Marlee." Addy burst into tears. It had been a long few weeks for her. The first few nights that Marlee was home they struggled to get Addy to bed at night because she wanted to stay with Marlee. Then she was up early each morning and it took its toll on her by the end of the week.

"Did you try your best?"

"Yes."

"That's good enough for me. That's good enough for Mum and I'm proud of you showing Marlee how important it is to try your hardest."

"Will she be sad?"

"Adelaide, all she cares about right now is getting enough of Mom's milk and sleeping." Marlee was busy guzzling down another feed. "I am so glad she has you for a big sister though. You'll be amazing and right now that's all that matters to me."

"I love her so so much Daddy."

"We know, and she loves you."


	64. Decisions

Colton felt the bubble of anger rising and he took a deep breath. His mother had been burnt…a lot and he understood that. She was jaded from life and a marriage that went south a long time ago. How she remained so bitter for so many years was beyond him? Both is parents made mistakes, they were both at fault but she never saw it that way. Colton had cut her some slack for a long time but that was not an inexhaustible resource. For a while their relationship was teetering on the edge and Iris always pulled him back from cutting her out completely.

His mother didn't like Iris, he knew that but no matter how often she put her down Colton never wavered. He adored Iris, he had fallen in love with her quickly and that had never waned. She was the love of his life.

"What do you mean?" She looked at her son strangely having overheard him talking earlier that IVF wasn't something they were contemplating. He was talking to his Aunt who he had always got on well with and she was asking her sincerely how Iris was. She really liked Iris she had always be nice to her, she was fun and sweet and treated her nephew well. She loved talking about her work with the Foundation and had helped out of few times with fundraising.

"Iris and I decided that it's not something we want to do."

"Why not?"

"The risks for Iris are too great."

"What risks?"

He didn't want to talk to his mother about their decision regarding fertility. It had been a gut-wrenching decision for them and the realisation that their hopes of having a family were fading had been difficult to come to terms with. It was Iris's body and she was the one that had to endure the treatments and she didn't want to do it and he wasn't going to force her into anything. "Doesn't matter, they are not risks Iris wants to take and I don't want her to either."

"So you are just giving up?"

"Giving up? Giving up what?"

"A future, children, a family."

"I have a future, we have a future, I have Iris, we have a family."

"Well her sisters and brother do; you don't though do you? Why is she being so selfish?"

"Excuse me?" Colton exploded. "How dare you? Iris isn't being selfish, you, however are. Do you have any idea what it was like for her to lose her ovary? She was devastated and IVF increases the risk of torsion, cysts, ectopic pregnancy and if that happens and she loses her other ovary that means menopause. She's not even 30."

"Well if you aren't going to have children she may as well go through menopause."

Colton couldn't believe his mother, she was being cold and callous and he was just glad that Iris wasn't here to witness it. It would break her heart, she was trying so hard to overcome her disappointment about not falling pregnant. They had ditched the birth control almost a year ago hoping that something might happen but so far there was nothing, not even a glimmer of hope. "She can still have children, there is a chance she can get pregnant."

"IVF has come a long way."

"You want Iris to risk her health doing something that scares her and that she doesn't want to do just so you can maybe have a grandchild you can see? A grandchild won't replace Sophie."

"So you can have a child, a child that you want."

"I don't want a child if it's not with Iris."

Marchella tried a different tack, she was concerned Colton was cutting off his nose to spite his face. Iris was strong willed; she knew that and it felt more like that Iris had made this decision unilaterally. At least that what she wanted to believe. It seemed liked Iris had convinced him that it wasn't worth the risk to make her son happy. "There are ways to help increase her chances surely that don't have any side effects."

"What do you think we are doing? We've looked into things, we've consulted the experts, we are doing everything we can but you know what it might not happen and we are prepared for that."

"I think you should seriously consider whether this is what you want. To be childless. Not what Iris wants but you."

"What I want, mother, is to be with Iris. That's it. Iris."

"I just want what is best for you."

"What is best for me is Iris." He slapped his chest angrily. "I can't just turn it off, I've tired and that didn't work, I don't want it to work, I'm happy with Iris and what we have decided to do is between us. It's our decision and it's not easy and I don't care if you like it or not. Believe me, your feelings were not a consideration in our decisions, nor will they ever be."

Colton just walked out. He couldn't sit there for another moment. Did she think they hadn't been through every possible scenario? Iris had even told him that she wouldn't hate him if he decided that she wasn't where he wanted to be. He hated that, he hated that she could even think that. _'Wombat, this is it for me. You are it, we've done the other thing and I don't want it or like it. So, that's it, no more. I love you, I want to grow old with you, with or without children. If I had a choice between a child or you, every single day I would pick you.'_

He sent his mother a message when he got home. Fortunately Iris wasn't home and he had a chance to cool down before she came in. He told his mother that _'the least you can do for me is not mention anything to Iris. I don't want you upsetting her, this is hard enough for her as it is. I hoped you'd support us, it hurts that you don't.. you are not the mother I want or need right now.' _He had no idea whether his plea would be heard, he doubted it would. She was that vindictive and if she thought she could drive a wedge between them she would.

Iris had just started her period the day prior so everything was a little raw right now, for both of them. Not only was Colton disappointed that she wasn't pregnant, because he wanted a baby as much as she did and he was heartbroken for her every time. It only made him love her even more though.

He never got a reply from his mother, not that he was expecting it.

Iris got his mood though. As soon as she walked in she knew that Colton was pissed off. "You are grumpy?"

"Nope."

Iris pushed her face right up into his and laughed. "Bullshit. What did your Mom do?"

"Just being Mom."

"Do I need to take her out?"

"No, you need to hug me." Iris obliged.

It hadn't been an easy decision for them. Even when they discussed stopping birth control it was a big risk. They weren't really ready for children but knew that it might take a while, they were also secretly hoping that they'd be surprised. For Iris also being on birth control meant that she didn't have that dread hanging over her that she might fail at conceiving. If they didn't stop it then they were none the wiser but one day they had to face up to the possibility of not being able to have children.

Now they were a year down the track, they hadn't told anyone they had stopped using birth control until they hit the six month mark. That's when they could start talking to fertility specialists. They had all the tests and there was no reason for it other than Iris only have one ovary.

Now they were struggling a little, it put a strain on their relationship until one day Iris put a stop to it. Quite literally, in the middle of sex Iris asked him to stop. She had fled the bed in tears when Colton did what she asked.

"Sorry." He rolled off her. His sad apology was hard to swallow.

"Don't, don't" Iris pushed him away. He let her go and heard her crying in the bathroom. It broke his heart and he started to panic a little, he felt like things were falling apart for them.

Colton had no idea what to do and just as he was about to go see her Iris came back, dressed in her pyjamas and slid into bed beside him. She rested her head on his chest and sobbed her heart out. "It's okay Bug."

"I'm sorry."

"Bug, it's okay."

"No it's not, that wasn't fair to you."

"None of this is fair. I want this for you more than anything, I want this for me."

"I can't do it right now. Like that was horrible, I felt horrible. I don't want sex between us to be just about trying to make a baby. It was never like that for us, it's always been incredible, I always feel loved and adored by you and right now it didn't feel like that. I felt like it was a chore and I hate that. I feel like you were just going through the motions, I felt like I was just lying there letting it happen and I didn't care it was you and I hate it, I hate it."

"Okay Iris."

"I want to take a break."

"No." Colton wasn't letting her go again. They'd done that and it didn't work and it wasn't what they wanted. He wasn't letting Iris run when things got hard. If she did and if he let her go he knew it would be the end of them forever and he didn't want that. "We are not taking a break; I am not letting you go."

"Not from us." Iris took a moment to figure out what he was saying no too. It was nice that he was so adamant that they were not taking a break. "From trying to get pregnant. I want to go back on the pill for a while."

"No." Colton did not even contemplate it, he'd learned a lot about contraception, conception and birth control in the past year or so. They were told very early on that it can take a while to fall pregnant once you came off birth control while the body adjusted to the differing hormones. He didn't want her back on it and then when they re-started she had that period of time to wait again. Surely it was better for her body to be free of anything for as long as possible. "No, you are not going back onto birth control."

"It's my body, I can do what I want." Iris was surprised at how stubborn and demanding Colton was being.

"Of course you can, but if you are just going back on the pill so you don't have to worry each month if it is going to happen or not then there are other ways."

"Such as?"

"I'll use condoms."

"You hate them."

"I don't care, if that makes all this stop, if that eases your mind and mine then I will do it." Colton pleaded with her. "Let me do this for you? Please? Let me do this for us?"

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

"Sure, sure." He sighed. "Iris, you know I love you right? So much, we are in this together, this is our problem, not yours, it's ours."

"I know." At least she slept close to him. If she had rolled away it would have killed him. They expected the rollercoaster, the dips just seemed deeper than they anticipated.

Colton left it until they both got home from work. The morning wasn't the time to talk about it but he did tell her how much he loved her and they showered together like they usually did. It was comforting and the little things were giving him hope. Iris would never admit it to him, not right now anyway, that she was worried that Colton would leave her. Before this all happened he had told her that he really wanted children at some point. Over time he had changed a little, he really wanted children but he wanted them with Iris. She forgot that sometimes.

It was a long day for both of them, neither really had their minds on their jobs and they both wanted to get home and put this whole horrible thing behind them. Colton was cooking dinner when Iris came in. "Smells good?" She stood on tiptoes and gave him a kiss and leant on him for a moment.

"How was your day?"

"Okay. Busy, which was good I think."

Iris decided to have a shower while Colton finished serving up dinner and when she came out she placed a box on the bench in front of him. "Yeah?" he raised one eyebrow in her direction when he saw the box of condoms.

"Thank you for doing this for me."

Colton reached for her hand and squeezed it. "For us Wombat. It's for us."

"You are sweet. I'm sorry about last night. I don't want you to think that it is you and that I don't love every single part of my life with you but it was just so overwhelming."

"You know what? I felt it too Iris." Colton handed her dinner. "I hated it too. How about we take it easy for a week or so. Let our bruised egos recover, find that thing we've got again?"

"Would you mind?"

"Yes, it will kill me, I love every single part of my life with you too but as long as you sleep next to me, shower with me, let me kiss you and talk to me then we can do it."

"I love you Colt, so much. You have been so incredible, every day."

"I have haven't I?"

Iris was surprised when she got a message at work a week later. "Be downstairs at four."

"What for?"

"Because I said so." Iris did as she was told and she was waiting downstairs when a black town car pulled up. The driver jumped out and opened the door for her. Waiting on the seat inside was a jewellery bag, Iris chuckled to herself. It was just like Colton, he was always surprising her. Inside the bag was the key to a hotel room.

Lying on the bed in the hotel room was his favourite dress. He loved Iris in the long blue sheath, she had first worn it at the first ball Colton had accompanied her too. The message on the dress was simple. _'Adore you in blue. See you at 6.'_

Iris knew better than to contact him, he wouldn't answer so she took a bath and relaxed and by ten to six she was dressed, holding her shoes in her hands knowing how much he loved her dressed up but in bare feet. It was a thing with him for some reason and Iris didn't question it.

Exactly at six he let himself in and Iris was standing by the window looking out over the Chicago skyline. "Hi." Iris glanced over her shoulder.

"You look beautiful."

"You love this dress."

"I do." Coming to stand behind Iris he ran a hand down her bare back. Bending down he kissed her shoulder and Iris leant back against his body. "I've been waiting all day for this."

"You never disappoint." They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Room service bought in some champagne and a fruit and cheese platter. He poured her a drink and they sat by the window, looking out over city below. "I know you have plans, when do I find out?"

"All in good time." Colton reached into his pocket. "The bag on the back seat was empty, yeah?"

"Well except the key to this place. This room is amazing, thank you."

"Hmmm, I thought we deserved something special, something to remember this moment."

"I remember a lot of moments with you."

"Good to know." He opened his hand and lying in his palm was an exquisite sapphire and diamond ring. "For you…" Iris gasped and then reached for it and he closed his hand quickly. "…say yes first."

"Yes."

"Yeah? You don't know what you are saying yes too yet?"

"I trust you."

"Hmm… then you will marry me?"

"Yes."

He slipped the ring on her finger. "Iris, I adore you, you make me feel like I can do anything, be anyone and I always know that when I get home at the end of the day, good, bad or ugly that you will be there for me. You believe in me and I love the way you trust me with you, with your heart, your heartache and your fears. I don't know what tomorrow brings, or next week or next year but I want to find out, with you."

"I have everything I need right now with you…" she kissed him softly. "…anything else is a bonus."

Iris was more than happy to stay in their room, Colton had organised room service dinner, candles, more champagne and he asked her about her dream wedding.

"What do you want?"

"For you to marry me, I don't care how that happens or where."

"It's your day too."

"It is and my dream is you, I want to know what you want. What you dreamed of as a little girl?"

"My Mom and Dad with me."

It always hurt when Iris talked about her parents not being around, especially at moments like this and there was nothing anyone could do about it. "So the Zoo?" It was the closest she'd ever get.

"The Zoo." She nodded. "Do you mind?"

"No, I had a feeling that's where it would be."

Iris played with his fingers. "And another thing?" she waited until he nodded. "I don't want to wait too long."

"How long is too long?"

"A month."

"Wow."

"Too soon?"

"Nope, sooner the better." He smiled. "Wanna dance? I want to dance with you."

"Sure. I didn't get all frocked up for nothing." So they danced, slow and close. Iris melted into his arms, absorbed his warmth, enjoyed the safety he always provided. That moment they had two weeks ago just faded away, it would need to. They hadn't cracked the seal on the box of condoms yet. It had been a barren few weeks but they stayed close, they'd slept wrapped around each other but Iris shied away from any advance that Colton made.

Tonight was a different story though and Iris put her hand on his arm when he went to grab a condom. "No. Not tonight."

"Bug?"

"Tonight's not about that, it's just about us." He made it just about them, he was sweet, slow and passionate. Iris made sure he knew how much she was appreciating him. The whole evening had been perfect, they drank champagne, danced, ate, loved and laughed. Colton caught her a few times just staring at her ring. "Do you like it?"

"Oh my god Colton I love it, it's perfect."

"Good. It looks beautiful on you. You look happy."

"I am so happy Colt."

They sent one photo the next morning, they knew as soon as they did that they wouldn't be left alone so decided to just enjoy the moment and celebrate quietly with each other the night before. Colton had taken the photo earlier but they waited until after breakfast to send it.

It was a photo of Iris lying in bed, smiling at him and in the foreground she was holding his hand and the ring was obvious. _'Yes' _the caption was short and sweet but they would all get it.

"Who first?" Colton and Iris tried to make a bet on who would call first. The narrowed it down to Lola and Mae but Alfie beat them all.

"Wombat? What's going on?" Alfie was at work but had just picked up his phone when the message came through.

"Colton decided he's ready to become a fully-fledged card carrying member of the Circus."

"About fucking time. Congratulations Bug. I'm so happy for you." She could hear her phone beeping as she spoke to Alfie, and then Colt's phone started when they didn't get through.

"I know you are. Thanks Alfie."

"So when's the big day?"

"Don't know, haven't talked to Mae yet. I am sure she's got it half way planned already."

"Here, at the zoo?"

"Where else?"

She talked to Lola and Mae as well as Rhiannon while Colton just put his feet up and listened and watched. He loved how happy she looked. It was mesmerizing and some days he still pinched himself that Iris was in his world.

They would all be catching up tomorrow night for dinner anyway. Colton had booked this place for two nights so they had all day to hang out, he'd organised for them to have a massage and they would head out tonight for dinner to continue the celebration. "Are you going to tell your Mom?"

"Not today."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to enjoy the moment. I want to bask in the glow, in your glow."

"She might be happy?" Iris knew that it would be unlikely.

"Iris, Iris, Iris" Colton shook his head. "I love you but that's just nonsense talk." He kissed the top of her head. "I will tell her eventually."

"Not the day you hand her the invite."

"Who says I am inviting her? She has always told me that weddings are not happy occasions so she might not bother coming."

"You are her only son, she'll be there. I mean who else will be there to object?" They had got over his mother's issue with Iris a long time ago. It hurt for a while but Iris continued to brush it off. Colton would take it to heart a little more but Iris was much calmer about it.

If he had to choose between Iris and his mother, he'd chose Iris every day of the week. Iris wouldn't let him off the hook though. As hard as it was some days, she was his mother and that had to mean something.

"Anyway, can we not talk about that right now. Can we talk about the fact I think you need a shower?"

"Really?" Iris just sighed. "And what will you do while I am in the shower."

"Stick my dick in you."

"Oh wow." She grimaced. "So romantic."

"Fuck you against the wall?"

"Hmmm." She closed her eyes and hummed.

"Park my one eyed bus in your black walled tunnel?"

"Oh Colton."

"Bump uglies?"

"Surprisingly I am actually getting a little turned on."

He jumped up and clapped. "Well thank fuck for that, I was running out of things to say to woo you."


	65. It's Your Turn

"Ah Bug…" Alfie looked at his sister coming down the stairs. "Colt is a lucky guy."

She looked like she should on her wedding day, beautiful and happy. Lola and Mae followed closely behind her. He held out his hand and Iris slipped her hand in his as she took the last few steps. Alfie loved his sisters, he thought they were incredible women but there was just something about him and his Bug. Everyone knew it too.

"You look beautiful Bug." Addy was excited.

"Like a princess." Poppy agreed. "A pretty, pretty princess." She twirled around. Addy and Poppy had been dancing around the room since they'd arrived. They felt like princesses themselves in their matching dresses and Quinn struggled to keep them tidy and under control.

"I don't need to add anything obviously." Alfie chuckled. "They nailed it."

Iris looked stunning. The vintage lace dress made her look like a queen. Her Royal Highness was back in residence. She had no veil, just her dark hair pinned up loosely away from her face and the diamond earrings leant to her by Lola. When Lola gave them to her they both shed a few tears. It was a day full of traditions, heartbreaking as they were but each and every one of them wanted to feel it all.

One of those traditions was Gus, he came over earlier before she got dressed. "Wow Bug, I guess this is it. It's your turn." He held out his hand and showed her the ring. "I can't let you get married without this and without telling you how much I love you, how proud I am of you and how happy I am that you are making this life with a man who adores you as much as your Dad adored your Mom. That's the bar that was set for each of you and I am glad you not only reached it, but smashed it. All of you."

Iris leant forward and let Gus clasp the necklace around her neck. She laid her hand over it on her chest and closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead. She could feel them, every one of them. "This is so you know that wherever and whenever you need me I will be there for you. No matter what hour of the day it is. Always Bug."

"Do you remember him?" Iris asked as she lay her hand on the ring around her neck.

"Who, my Pops?"

"Yeah."

Gus tried to think, it had been so long since he'd thought about his grandfather. He had died when they were young and he barely remembered him. "I remember Mom and Dad being really upset and sad, and I sort of remember that he was larger than life, he'd throw us around and buy us ice-cream but it's pretty hazy now."

"How did this come about? Like the whole wearing of the ring thing?" Iris played with the ring.

"Ohhh, not now Bug." He kissed her forehead again. "Not today. Just know that it means, it's always meant that I am with you always."

"I do know that. We've always known that Bus." Iris smiled at Gus's teary look of surprise, the younger kids called him Bus or Uncle Bus, but no one else really did unless it was needed and this was needed. "I know I don't remember them, but I will always remember you. You've always been here for me. I'm lucky I have you and Rhiannon in my life, you both mean the world to me."

"We've been lucky to have you in our lives too." He leant forward and kissed both her cheeks. "Let's get you married Bug, can't keep a good guy waiting forever. He might wander off."

"Nah, I think he's in it for the long haul."

Iris was finally glad the day had arrived. It hadn't been a pleasant few weeks since they'd announced their engagement. Colton and Iris were happy, as were their families, all except one person and she'd done nothing to make it easy for Iris. It had been a constant struggle, more so for Colton dealing with his mother's demands.

Marchella wanted them to get married in a church, her family church and Iris refused, especially when she told her that considering she didn't really have family it wouldn't matter where she got married. That really hurt Iris.

Marchella argued that it wasn't fair to make Colton get married outside when his entire family got married in the family church. Colton didn't care, he just wanted to marry Iris. His counter argument was it wasn't fair to make Iris get married in a church when the Zoo meant more to her than the Church did to him.

His mother was also disappointed that Iris had chosen to have only the kids with her on the day, just Sam, Addy and Poppy. The others were too little and Marchella thought it was silly to have children as her attendants, she assumed she would have her sisters. "It's not like you are royalty." She scoffed.

"Well I was always called 'Her Royal Highness' so close enough for me." Iris waved her off for what felt like the millionth time while Colton fumed.

His mother didn't like her choice of flowers, sweet peas, they weren't really 'bridal flowers' , Iris just ignored her. She invited Marchella out with her when she was trying on dresses. In reality she had already seen what she liked but did it to make Marchella feel part of it. She would never have the chance with her own daughter. Lola, Mae and Rhiannon came with her and tried to make it as fun a day as possible. Marchella did appreciate that Iris wanted to include her, even letting her pick some dresses that she liked for Iris to try. They weren't her style in any way shape or form but Iris didn't mind indulging her soon to be mother-in-law. It was one day that she actually enjoyed Marchella's company. Iris was hoping it was a turning point in their relationship.

It wasn't.

She wasn't letting it ruin her day though, this may be the best she ever had.

Not only was it a small wedding, it was also at dusk. Iris loved the idea of having it under lights. The Zoo looked magical at night and Iris had always found it the most peaceful. The sound of the animals was so much more relaxing than the constant hum of Chicago traffic. Mae had organised everything, she was in her element and Iris just let her go. String lights and flowers everywhere, followed by a small reception that carried the moody darkness throughout the night and food provided by Andrew's Restaurant.

Gus had also asked her if she wanted him to read her letter or not and after talking to Colton about it she decided she did. Not having any physical memories of her parents it didn't feel as heavy as it did for the others.

_'My beautiful Bug,_

_You were a complete surprise and yet from the moment we knew you were there we realised that you were meant to be, you were meant to join us because you made us better, a better, big and happier family. A perfect family with our perfect little Bug. Watching your mother nurture you and your sisters and brother fall in love with you as you grew was an amazing experience. They delighted at every kick and squirm and belly roll. Then when you were born we loved watching them try and teach you how to smile and laugh and crawl and walk._

_The first hands you felt where mine, the hands of the man who will always love you. You turned our world upside down, you made our family complete, our little Aussie. We adored you and loved watching you learn and grow and be loved by our crazy mob._

_My heart literally stopped beating the day we thought we might lose you. To see our precious little girl fighting for life was indescribably painful, but you were a fighter. You've always been a fighter and I have a feeling you still are. You were meant for us, for our world and our family._

_Iris, I hope today brings you all the happiness in the world. You were a ray of sunshine and you lit up our lives. I hope you are feeling new hands, in yours, the hands of someone who will lead you and follow you, hold you and give you someone to hold, love you and keep you safe. I hope they make you happy._

_Today, as I write this you are laughing at your brother while he does a silly dance and that little giggle of yours fills me with so much joy._

_Laugh Iris, always laugh. Love and Live._

_Remember that I love you and as a Dad, loving your daughter is all that matters in the world. When I first saw you I realised that for reasons unknown to us you were meant to be. The world needed you, our world needed you._

_Our precious Bug, Our Queen._

_Love you forever_

_Dad.'_

Colton kissed Iris's cheek, resting one hand on the other one he whispered in her ear. "That was beautiful Bug, I'm glad you heard it."

He got up next to speak.

"The Best cup of coffee I ever bought and I didn't get to taste one drop of it. I was in a rush, someone was holding up the line, I had places to be so I paid for it. The recipient of my faux generosity thanked me and today she became my wife." He learnt a lot that day, that if you rush you might just miss out on the best things in life. "Lesson learned, slow down, smell the coffee."

"Like all good coffee, it's gets you going in the morning, can keep you awake all night, calm you when you are on edge, soothe you when you are tired, stressed or worried. It's an ice-breaker, a fence mender and a little bit every day is good for the heart and makes you live a longer happier life. And that's you Iris, my perfect cup of coffee. The love of my life."

"I just want to stop for a moment and comment about how beautiful you are today, every time I catch sight of you I kinda lose my train thought. Also how amazingly beautiful and handsome your little sidekicks are. Sam, you are pure class buddy, man are you going to break hearts; Addy, you bring the sunshine every single day and Poppy; you've always been our little bit of heaven. Thanks for helping your Aunty Bug marry me, we've loved having you with us today."

"The interesting thing about today is I know I am now not just married to you Iris, but to your whole crazy mob. Lola, Mae and Alfie along with Riley, George, Quinn, Sam, Addy, Poppy, Billy, Max and Marlee. Thank you for letting me love your sister and your Aunt, I know how much she means to you. I wish I'd met your parents; they made such an amazing family, I wish I'd met MiMi but I did have the pleasure of meeting Adam, your Pops. What an incredible man and his role in your life was inspiring. Also Gus, Rhiannon, Heidi, Hudson, Andrew and Dylan, they are such a big part of who you are."

"To my parents, thank you for being part of who I am. I am forever grateful for your love and support and I know you are happy for me today, because today my dreams have come true." Now was not the time to remind either of his parents how shit his childhood really was.

"Now, Bug. What a ride? You've taught me so much about life, about me and about the world. You've taught me that your past doesn't define you, heartbreak and tragedy can make you strong, it made you strong and you taught me that giving up is not an option. They are words you don't understand; you don't give up, you have never given up even when the world has done everything to make it hard for you. I've grown so much with you and I know I am a better man because of you and now I can't wait to continue on in life together, whatever we do, wherever our road leads us, it's you and me wombat…. And I can't tell you how good that feels."

He danced with Iris, holding her close and talked to her the entire time, telling her how beautiful she was, how perfect his life felt now and how happy he was. "My wife." He whispered. "My life."

Iris had to dance with her brother, her father in law, her uncle and George and Riley. Gus even made the effort to dance with Marchella.

The best moment for them though was Colton and Iris dancing hand in hand with Sam, Addy, Poppy and Billy. Colton was holding Max and Iris had Marlee. If they couldn't have their own children they had this mob.

The photo of that moment was perfect.

The other perfect moment was just four of them. Charlotte, Mabel, Alfred and Iris standing hand in hand at their tree. No one else, just them and their parents, no photos, no noise, just a peaceful heartbreaking moment in time. They'd come so far and they were still together and they still missed them.

Iris took Colton to Australia for their honeymoon. He wanted to see where she was born. Addy had given him a list of things he 'had to do' when he was there which included seeing where she was born. If he was going to see where Iris was born he would also have to see her place. He had to go to the zoo, that was top of her list and she wanted photos.

"Bug came and got me with my Daddy and they took me to the Zoo. That's where Ed was born." Addy was very earnest in her instructions. "Will you go? And maybe you could buy me a present?"

"We will. I think Bug has that on the list."

"I wish I could go with you." Addy lamented.

Colton promised to send her lots of photos. "And bring Bug back." He assured Addy they would be back soon, she was fretting a little about Bug leaving.

He loved Australia and Iris loved showing him around. She didn't remember anything about Melbourne, where she was born and only remembered Perth because she'd been back here a couple of times now to visit Alfie when he lived here and also when she came with him to meet Addy.

They spent a week in Melbourne, doing a few day trips before heading across the country to Perth, visiting the Zoo and then heading up North for a couple of days on the beach before heading home. They could have stayed longer and after the pressure of the build-up to the wedding it was a perfect way to relax. Somewhere in the back of Iris's mind she hoped the relaxation, the lack of stress and pressure would perhaps let her body do what she was desperate for it to do, sadly it did what it had always done…absolutely nothing.

One thing they did have to do while they were in Perth was attend a fundraising dinner for the Perth Zoo's. It was the first time Colton had been representing the family, in the past he was just Iris's plus one.

He was just finishing putting his shoes on when Iris came out of the bathroom. "You know I love everything about you..." He eyed her up and down. She looked as gorgeous as ever. Her navy blue full length skirt and tailored white satin shirt were stunning. He held out his hand and Iris used him to steady herself as she slipped her shoes on. "…But this blows me away."

"What does?"

"This amazing thing you do, that you all do to keep the memory and legacy of your parents alive." He'd seen her at the BraveHearts Ball and now she worked for the foundation but this was the first time he'd seen her with regards to her father. Alfie usually handled that side of the work, Iris would sometimes go with him but she'd never been all that involved. Tonight she was front and centre.

"Awww. You are sweet." Iris kissed his cheek. "Stand up."

"Seriously Bug, blows me away." Iris tied his tie; he'd learnt that early on too. It was what her Mom always did and Iris had watched her MiMi do it for Pops, Lola did it for Riley and Mae for George so she did it too.

"I am shitting myself."

"Why?"

"I've never done this before. I feel like a bit of a fraud. I have to pretend that I knew him."

"Bug, you did know him. I've see you talk about your Mom, this is no different."

"I know." Iris held both his hands down beside her and leant on her husband. "I'm glad you are with me. I like you."

Colton chuckled. "Good to know, especially since, you know…" he shrugged. "…we are on our honeymoon."

He was blown away, not only by watching Iris speak but also by the feeling he got every time someone talked to him about her. That was his wife and he didn't expect it to make it feel with way it did. The sense of pride he felt knowing he was now part of that family and that legacy felt good but being with Iris was what inspired him the most.

Iris had decided that perhaps this was her path in life. That she could step up and be the face of the Foundation, get more involved while the others were busy raising their families. Perhaps this was her purpose and everything happened for a reason. Or perhaps she was desperately trying to find something, anything to fill the void.

"Bug, Bug, Iris." She heard the voice before she saw them. Hurtling towards them was Addy, leaving her sister in the dust. Addy flung herself at her Aunt and Colton was left to scoop up Marlee as she struggled to run all the way towards them. Her blond curls bouncing as her little legs pumped hard, she'd only started walking recently and seemed to bound from wobbly walking to running in the blink of an eye. "I missed you so much." Addy gasped breathlessly. "I'm so glad you are home."

"We missed you too Addy, you and Marlee."

"Did you have fun? Did you see my Zoo? Did you see where I was born?" Alfie finally caught up with them. It was cute watching them swarm over Iris and Colton. Addy's bond with Iris had never wavered.

"We did, I showed Colton everything on your list. He loved it."

"Did you buy me a present?"

"We did." Marlee had dived into Iris's arms and Colton swung Addy up for a kiss. "But you have to wait until we get home."

"Let's go then."

"Bug?" Adelaide held onto her Aunts hand as they headed to the car park. "Don't go away again. Me and Marlee missed you too much."


	66. Bug

"Bug?" Lola was surprised that Iris called her so early in the morning. "What's up?"

"Umm, Lola, I'm not sure but my period is late, like four days. I feel sick but I just think that's nerves, what do I do?"

Lola had always told Iris that she could call her any time of the day or night if she was worried about anything. It had been a long difficult road for her little sister and her husband, they all wanted the same thing for them, Iris and Colton wanted a baby and they'd done everything they could. "Okay. Have you taken a test?"

"Not yet. I've got one here. Do I do it now, in the morning?"

"Yes, you can do it now."

"Can you come over?"

"Sure, I'm on my way." Fortunately Riley was at home and he could look after Sam and Billy for a couple of hours. They were all still in bed, one thing her boys did do was sleep in, they weren't early risers and she usually got an hour in the morning to check some emails or finish some reports. Riley had got home just before midnight so he didn't need to sleep all morning, if he got home at two or three she would have felt guilty about leaving him with the boys. "Where's Colt?"

"He left early this morning, it's month end." Month end was always the busiest time for an accountant with reports due and Colton always was under the pump for the few days around the end of one month and the start of the next. "I don't want him to get his hopes up."

Lola sat on the bed with Iris while they waited. She didn't want to talk. Her period was late and her boobs were a little tender but not unusual, they were often a little tender around this time of the month. Four days late wasn't a lot but for Iris is was enough to give her some hope. That's all they had lately, hope, but it was always fleeting and it was fading fast.

Iris touched Lola's belly. She was very pregnant, just over eight months and she was happy for her sister, she just wanted to feel that herself. She wanted someone to want to touch her belly and wonder what she was having. She wanted to feel a baby grow inside her. "I can't wait to feel your baby bump." Lola told her as she rested her hand on her sister's shaking one.

Lola turned the stick over and showed it to Iris. She blinked a couple of times to make sure she was reading it right. "What does it say Bug?"

Iris covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Lola heart was in her throat as she turned it over and looked at it. She held Iris's face and kissed the top of her head. "My Bug is pregnant."

"I'm scared."

"I know Bug, I know what that feels like and I know how much you want this."

"What if it's wrong?"

"You've just gotta stay positive Bug, we've never been here before. This is good." They had never even got to the point that they needed a pregnancy test so this had to be a good thing. No one in this family had an issue staying pregnant but Iris was the only one who struggled to fall pregnant.

"Do I tell Colt?"

"Of course you should tell him. He will want to know. He knows you so well, you wouldn't be able to hide it from him anyway, as soon as he sees you he will know something is up. I'm surprised he hasn't cottoned on already. And I can tell you when you tell them that you are pregnant, that moment never fades, I remember Riley's reaction, each and every time." Lola hugged her as tight as her pregnant belly would allow her and rested one of Iris's hand on her stomach. "I know this hurt you, but I always had faith in you. I always believed in you."

It had been a kick in the guts and Lola had sat Iris down before Lola and Riley even tried to get pregnant again and told Iris that they wanted a third child. She had been upset but she was happy for Lola. If she couldn't have children, her nieces and nephews were her whole world and she adored them, all of them. When it only took Lola three months to fall pregnant Iris was gutted, Lola came over one night and told her and apologised, it had been a big decision for them to go ahead when Iris was struggling.

Riley had been patient as Lola went back and forth on having another child but they had always wanted three and both of them were hoping for a girl to complete their family.

It was a long day for Iris, she didn't do well at work and held her breath every time she went to the bathroom and she was in there every hour. She could barely eat and the wait for Colton to get home was excruciating. As soon as she saw him she burst into tears. "What's wrong?" As if he didn't know. They'd been here a lot and he knew around about when Iris was due for her period, it had taken over their lives a little and they lived by a damn calendar.

Iris didn't say anything she just handed him the pregnancy test and Colton stared at that little stick of plastic in his hand wondering how something so small and innocuous looking could change his life forever. He blinked a few times and then looked at his wife.

"Really? This is yours? This is ours? It says your pregnant."

"It does."

"Oh…." The tears in Colton's eyes were enough to start Iris off again. He pulled her up off the couch and into his arms. "…Oh Wombat."

"We still need to have a blood test, it's early days but we've never even got this far before. So I am trying to be positive." Iris rambled. "I wasn't going to tell you, but I can't hide this from you. I didn't want to hide this from you. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I have, I can't help it."

"This feels right. I have a good feeling." He knew so much more about reproduction than he ever thought he would. He always thought it would be a matter of deciding to have a baby, having sex for a few months and that would be it, it had quickly turned into something bigger than Ben Hur and he had been right beside Iris the whole time. "Fuck….Bug I love you so much, I love how perfect this minute feels."

They curled up together on the couch Iris told him about her day, every single detail and Colton's hand slid under her sweater and stroked her bare skin softly. He felt for the little scars she had, the ones that had caused them so much heartache.

Colton watched her face every time she came back from the bathroom for any sign that their hopes were crushed. It always had been in the past and they were bracing themselves for it. Colton didn't let her do a thing, he fussed over her all night and Iris let him, she liked how quietly supportive he was. This was his baby too and all he could do was hope and ensure they did everything they could to nurture their future.

Even the next morning Iris was still waiting for that moment that she went to the bathroom and their hopes and dreams would be shattered. It didn't come. Nor the next day or the rest of the week and it took Iris a two weeks to finally start to relax. Colton walked a fine line, he tried to stay positive and was readying himself to pick her up if she fell.

They had a blood test and that also came back positive and hope started to turn to excitement. Iris did everything she could, she made sure she slept well, ate well and took things easy and Colton pandered to her every whim but they didn't talk about the baby, they didn't want to jinx anything and every day they felt a little more confident.

At eight weeks Lola organised a scan for them, just because Iris had a nightmare that there was no baby. She'd woken up in a sweat and Colton had panicked, he remembered all too well Iris waking up sweating with a fever at the start of this terribly heartbreaking journey they'd been on. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, just a dream." She lay back down and tried to steady her racing heart.

"About what?"

"That there is no baby." All along they had been honest with each other, it was the only way this was going to work for them. She had all the other symptoms, sore boobs, she peed ...a lot, although that was also her rushing to the toilet to check more than usual, fatigue and mood swings. She also craved apples, she would eat six apples a day and Colton kept buying them for her on the way home from work.

"Oh…" Colton held his hand over her belly while Iris tried to breathe and calm down. "I don't believe that."

Colton thought Iris was going to break his hand as she squeezed it. At this stage they decided the best way to see their baby was with a transvaginal scan. It wasn't pleasant and Iris grimaced a little as they inserted the probe. "Look at that?" The sonographer pointed to the screen.

"Our baby?" Colton looked at where the finger was pointing while Iris kept her eyes tightly closed.

"That's your baby." She turned the dial up and suddenly they heard a beautiful sound. Their baby's heartbeat.

"Open your eyes Iris." Colton begged her, he watched her intently, waiting to see the look on her face. "Open your eyes and look at your baby."

It looked like nothing, a dark cavity with a tiny blob of white firmly attached to the top where it was supposed to be but that was their future. It was the most beautiful thing they had seen. It was perfect, Iris had never looked more beautiful to him than she did in that moment, the moment she saw her baby for the first time.

Lola was waiting for them outside; she had such a good feeling about this. It would have been cruel to snatch that away from them when she was due to give birth any day now. Life had been cruel enough for them, this would be too much, it would tear Iris apart and break Lola's heart. Iris's teary smile as she came out told her everything. "You saw it didn't you?"

"We did. Lola Bear, it's so beautiful. It's stupid, it's a blob and we heard it, we heard the heartbeat and I'm so in love with it."

"Of course you are. I'm so happy for you Bug." Lola hugged both of them. "I am so happy for both of you."

It was the first time they had relaxed enough to talk about the baby. It was the first time Colton talked to it. Iris was lying on the bed when they got home, she was tired and they were still going to do whatever it took to try and protect this pregnancy. He knelt beside her and lifted her shirt. "Hey, jellybean, it's your Daddy. We saw you today, we know you are in there and you are doing perfect. Let's keep that going hey, because trust me you want to be out here with us because we are going to love you like no other and there are all these awesome people who don't know about you yet, but when they do they are going to be so happy. Be nice to your Mom, I am so crazy in love with her." He kissed that beautiful belly that was protecting his little jellybean. "And you."

Iris loved it, she also loved finally talking to him about their baby. "Boy or Girl?" Iris rested her hand on Colton's as he lay it on her flat stomach. His fingers were gentle as the grazed over her and she loved feeling his hand on her belly, it felt protective and comforting.

"Girl."

"Really?"

"Or boy, don't care really. I think I'd like a little ladybug." Colton could just see Iris with a girl.

"I think it would be amazing to see your little boy holding your hand, looking up at you like the sun is shining because of you." Iris knew how much Alfie treasured that last photo of him with their Dad, taken the day before they went away. It meant the world to him and over the years they'd all had moments of jealousy that the last photo of their Dad was with Alfie.

"Let's have one of each then."

"Sure." Iris clicked her fingers. "Just like that."

"So, Bug, talk to me…" Iris already knew what he was going to ask. "How does this make you feel with regards to everything? Your past, your parents. I really want to know."

Iris took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. "I want my child to always know what a hug and kiss from Mom and Dad feel like. I want them to always know what my voice sounds like. I want to see their whole life." Her surging hormones and devastation combined and it streaked down her face. Colton never wiped away her tears, she wore them like a badge of honour.

"I want all that for you and more. You deserve it and you know what, I believe it, I believe you will and I can't wait to see it."

"Beside me?"

"Yep, you can't get rid of me now. You are growing my baby. I think that's fucking incredible."

"Are you going to tell your Mom?"

"One day. We aren't telling anyone yet right? I'll worry about her when we get there."

"Okay." They had decided to wait until after they hit twelve weeks just to make sure they were out of the danger period and also because Iris didn't want to take away Lola's excitement. She was having a baby any day now and like all Ruzek Hollister Baby's they deserved to be the centre of the universe for a while.

"On the one hand I want to shout it from the rooftops, my beautiful Bug is incubating my child and on the other hand I want to stay in this bubble with just you because this is the best I've ever felt." Iris got it, she felt exactly the same and right now their bubble was perfect.

Lola woke Riley up with a fist to his chest. He hadn't moved. "Get Up."

"What? Is it Sam? Billy?"

"No it's not friggin' Sam or Billy. My water just broke."

Riley had barely got into bed. He'd been on call and had to go in around nine and crawled home around two thirty. "What time is it?"

"Get the fuck up Riley."

He finally realised what the problem was. The bed was wet. "Shit."

"Are you getting up?"

"Yes." He leapt up. "What's going on? Contractions?"

"What do you think is going on?" Lola spat at him. For a smart man he could be really stupid sometimes.

Riley started stripping the bed on Lola's orders. He'd rather be doing anything else but she was stressing about it so he did as he was told. They were dropping Sam and Billy off at Mae's on the way. Hopefully Lola could stay home for a few more hours and the boys could sleep for as long as possible. She lasted another two hours at home, Riley got her in the shower and the hot water helped soothe her contractions and nerves. For a while she knelt on the floor, her arms resting on the bed and rocked gently. Constant movement kept her under control and gave Riley something to focus on.

"Babe, it's time to go." He finally convinced Lola that they'd been home long enough. Her contractions were regular, getting closer together and lasting a little longer and he had given her an internal and she was dilating steadily. They had to stop at Mae's on the way so it was better to go earlier rather than later.

"I'm happy here." She was rocking through another contraction.

Riley kissed her forehead. "Come on Lola Bear, let's get this show on the road. We've got a baby to meet."

"Easy for you to say."

"Nope, watching you in pain is not much fun for me either. I wish I could do it for you, but hey, I'm just a guy and I'm as weak as piss." He was kneeling beside her and kissed the back of her neck. "You blow me away every single day."

"Oh, you're okay too."

They called Mae before Riley got Lola into the car and dashing back upstairs and grabbing Sam. He was unimpressed about being woken up but fell asleep quickly while he went and got Billy. He wasn't as easy and he cried all the way on the short car trip to Mae's. He took him inside while Mae slipped out and spoke to Lola quickly and George came and got Sam out. "Love you Lola Bear, I can't wait." She held her hand on her beautiful belly. "Try not to kill Riley."

"I'll try." She held Mae's hand until Riley came back out. Sam had settled into bed again and was cuddling his Emu but George was trying to settle Billy and Riley tried to soothe him quickly but in the end he had to go, the last thing they needed was Lola giving birth in the car.

"Okay, now let's get a wriggle on." Riley backed out and then reached for Lola's hand.

"If I forget to tell you later, or get a little shitty. I do love you."

"I know."

It was true that Doctors did not make good patients and labouring Doctors were even less pleasant. Lola was stressed and it was her toughest labour. Whether being a little bit older now made things harder but she really struggled with the pain. Riley suggested an epidural but Lola procrastinated until it was too late.

Riley wasn't much better than Lola, if she was stressing that made him more anxious and it was such a different feeling in the room than when they had Sam and Billy.

The midwife nodded at Riley and he kissed Lola's sweaty forehead and took over. He'd never say no to delivering his child but he was seriously hoping this was the last time. They were happy with three although he had some suspicion that if it was another boy Lola would go again. She really wanted a daughter. She wanted that mother daughter relationship that she felt robbed off. "Hey Lola Bear, you are so close."

The midwife helped her brace and she pushed hard until he told her to stop. The incredible pain eased off momentarily as Lola took some deep breaths.

"That's the head Lola, Come on sweetheart. Just one more push."

He gasped a little when his baby slid from his wife. They'd been hoping but didn't find out what they were having. "Well no wonder it took so long..." He whispered as he held his daughter in his hands. "I hope this is not a sign of things to come, your daughter is a diva already."

"It's a girl?" she had collapsed against the bed and the midwife pulled her gown down so Riley could place his daughter on her mother's chest. "Oh look at her Riley." Lola almost didn't believe it; she was shaking as she placed her hands on her little newborn girl, one on her back and the other cradled her head. She couldn't believe they had a girl. He knew exactly why she was crying right now and Riley wrapped them both up in a hug.

"I'm so happy for you Lola Bear."

"I can't believe it." It seemed surreal that she was holding her daughter. "Let me see." It was that she didn't trust him to get it right but she just had to see it for herself. Riley lifted the baby of her chest, much to her displeasure and showed Lola the necessary end. "Oh it's a girl." Riley laughed at Lola's shocked response and lay her back down again.

Riley was stroking his little girl's tiny fingers. "She's beautiful like her Mom. I love you Lola Bear, so much. My mother of three, you are my beautiful, beautiful woman."

Their baby girl was perfect, all 8lbs 1oz of her. They were left alone with her for a while, Lola fed her and Riley got to have a cuddle while Lola showered and then they called Mae to bring the boys in.

They charged out of the lift straight into their Dad's arms. "Shall we go see Mom? She's got something to show you."

"Is it a baby?" Billy asked his Dad.

"It is, a beautiful little baby."

"Is Mom okay?" Sam wanted to know. Riley crouched down and hugged Sam and promised him that his Mom was good, she was happy and that he took care of her.

He pushed open the door and Lola was waiting for them.

"Mommy." Billy rushed at her; Sam was a little more subdued. He hung onto his Dad's hand; he'd been worried about his Mom all morning and he looked like he was about to cry. Riley stuck close to Sam while Billy was just excited to see his Mom. Lola helped him up onto the bed and Riley lifted Sam up beside her.

"Come on, let's meet your sister." He lifted the baby out of her cot and sat up with them all on the bed. "Say hello to Olive."

"Oh, she's pretty." Sam touched her first. "Hi Olive." He bent down and kissed her little head. Her eyes were tightly closed but she did squirm a little when Sam kissed her.

"Do you want a cuddle?"

Sam nodded and Lola helped him sit up against the pillows and Riley laid Olive in Sam's arms. Billy was fascinated but preferred to just watch, he did touch her head briefly. "What do you think Billy?"

"She's sleeping." Billy pressed his finger to his lips. "Shhhh."

"She is, it's been a big day for little Olive."

When she woke Lola unwrapped her and the boys watched her change her diaper. "What's that?" Billy pointed to her umbilical clamp.

"It's a little clip that will help make her belly button. You had one too, and Sam."

"Does it hurt?"

"No sweetie, it doesn't hurt Olive. In a couple of days we will take the clamp off and then the rest falls off and Olive will get her little belly button." She lifted up Billy's shirt and showed him his. "See, you had a clamp like Olive too and look how cute your little belly button is." She tickled his stomach playfully and he giggled.

"What's it for?" Sam was curious.

"Well, when Olive was growing in my belly she was attached to me with this long cord, that's how she got all her food and blood that helped her grow."

"So she wouldn't fall out?"

"Not quite, but she needed it to grow big and strong enough to be born. Now she's here she can have Mommy's breast milk to grow."

"Addy calls it Boob juice. That's what Marlee Moo had."

"I know she does. That's all Olive needs for a while. That's all you had and Billy too."

"And we are big and strong." Sam showed his muscles and Billy was just making faces at Olive. Lola thought it was beautiful seeing her boys besotted with their sister. It reminded her a little of Alfie with Iris when she was born.

"My beautiful big strong boys. Olive's big brothers. I think she's going to love you."

"I hope so." Sam was playing with her foot. "I love her."

"It's exciting isn't it."

"When can we take her home?"

"Later today hopefully. The Doctors need to see her first and need to make sure Mom is doing okay."

"You're a Doctor." Sam argued. He didn't get the whole different roles of different Doctors. He knew his mom was a Doctor for kids so he didn't get why she couldn't say that Olive was okay to go home. "Daddy is too."

Lola just wanted to go home, snuggle up with her boys and love their little girl.

Mae was head over heels in love with her niece. She was so happy that Lola and Riley got the little girl they were hoping for. She knew how much George adored Poppy and Alfie had his two girls. She couldn't wait to see them all with their girls. "Have you talked to Bug?" she asked Lola while she was absorbing Olive.

"Yeah, I called her after I spoke to you."

"How is she?"

"She's okay Mae, she's happy for us."

"I just want her to have this." She brushed her fingertips over Olive's soft dark hair. "I wish I could do it for her."

Lola knew how Mae felt, she had offered, somewhat out of the blue to be a surrogate. To say everyone was blindsided would have been an understatement, even George was stunned. Iris got upset, which was not Mae's intention, she just wanted her little sister to be happy and she wanted her to be a Mom.

"She doesn't want that Mae."

"I know, it's just hard and I really want you to be happy about Olive."

"I am happy, Mae, I'm over the moon and Bug is too." Lola sat next to her sister and wrapped her arm around her and rested one hand on Olive. "More than anything Bug wants us to have everything we want and we are thanking our lucky stars for this slice of heaven."

When Lola called her to tell her that she had a new little niece she organised that Iris and Colton were the only ones there when she came to meet Olive. Lola knew that Iris was going to be emotional and she didn't want to put her under pressure to announce her own pregnancy before she was ready. They waited until they were at home before she visited, despite being happy for her sister and feeling confident in her own pregnancy she couldn't bring herself to rush and meet Olive. She needed time to get her head around it.

Holding Olive felt different now, she had been dreading it and now she loved it and was a total emotional wreck. "Imagine how much she's going to cry when she holds her own baby?" Colton teased her.

"Build an ark." Riley agreed.

"I'm not ashamed." Iris wasn't ashamed to admit she was a blubbering mess and would likely be when they finally met their own baby.

"I can't wait." Colton seriously couldn't wait; he was just as excited as Iris was. They both just wanted to hold their baby and he wanted to see Iris become a mother. That was what he was looking forward to the most, seeing his beautiful Bug with her precious baby. Every day that passed had excited them more and more and they were now so close to three months it felt real and they were starting to get excited about sharing their secret.

The announcement came at Sunday dinner three weeks later. Iris was just over twelve weeks pregnant and another scan showed their baby was growing beautifully. Surprisingly Iris had suffered very little morning sickness, she was starting to feel less tired and apart from bigger boobs she wasn't showing yet but they couldn't wait for that day. She had told Lola, at her last scan that they were going to share it on Sunday night, it felt right to do it there. It was where all the big announcements were made.

Lola bought Olive out and handed her to Iris. "Hey pretty girl." She was three weeks old and she calmly looked up at her Aunt. "I guess you gotta make the most of this being the youngest in the mob? You are going to be the sweetest big cousin in the whole world."

"IRIS." Mae screamed. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD." Everyone stopped mid conversation. Iris was in tears and Colt couldn't be happier for her, she looked so blissfully happy. "You're pregnant."

"We are pregnant." Colton answered for Iris who was too busy crying and hugging her sister to answer. "Bug is just over 12 weeks pregnant. We are so happy to finally be able to tell you; we've known for about two months now and everything is going really well. As you can imagine we are over the moon."

Mae had flung herself at Iris and just about squashed poor Olive. Lola took her back and let Mae and Alfie and everyone else share in Iris and Colton's excitement. It was nice to see how happy everyone was for her. Even the kids were excited, Addy was beside herself especially. Everyone knew how much Iris wanted a baby.

They hadn't seen Iris with Olive, although Lola assured them that Iris had met her and was happy for them. They had all called her to check up on her and Iris thought it was sweet. She felt a little cruel not telling them but they just wanted to wait that little bit longer. It was strange avoiding her siblings for a few weeks, she'd been busy at work and also had a 'bad cold' and didn't want to spread it to through the mob, especially with little Olive in the mix so it was nice to be surrounded by them now, she had missed them.

Colton informed his family. Iris wasn't with him when he told his mother that she was pregnant. Things were not particularly pleasant between Colton and his mother at the moment. "Just to let you know, Iris is pregnant. She's eighteen weeks and doing really well. We are over the moon and really excited." He just announced it after dropping in unexpectedly. "And in case you are wondering, it was an unassisted conception, just Iris and I." It had taken her a few weeks to convince him to go see his mother rather than just send a message. Iris was showing off her bump proudly and the last thing she wanted was for Marchella to find out from someone else. That wasn't fair.

His mother cried and Colton started to forgive her. Iris had told him he needed to make the first move as far as his mother was concerned and this was the first step. He agreed to bring Iris over for dinner soon and his mother did send Iris a really sweet message congratulating her and offering any help that she needed.

His father and step-mother were delighted. They adored Iris and had always supported them and their decisions, they were so happy for both of them. They couldn't wait to be grandparents either. Will had long realised that his own daughter would never forgive him or want him in her life. It was a bitter pill to swallow but Colton and Iris's baby was finally a little bit of sugar.

It was a beautiful pregnancy, Iris breezed through it. She was beautifully calm and relaxed because Iris eventually relaxed and felt that this was meant to be. They'd been through enough and it hadn't always been easy or smooth sailing but they had never given up and now they celebrated every little milestone.

Iris had walked out of their bedroom when Colton had got home from work late one night. He was surprised that she was naked from the waist up with one arm over her breasts. "Well hello." His eyes widened and he felt a little surge. "You look good enough to do inappropriate things to."

Iris smiled and turned to the side. She ran her hand over her stomach, the tiniest of a bump sticking out. "Do I look fat?"

"You look a little bit pregnant."

"Do I?"

"Yes, and I love it."

Iris giggled. "I do too." Colton rested both hands on her tiny little swollen bump. It looked like she had eaten a big meal but they knew better. He picked her up and Iris wrapped her legs around his waist and took her back into the bedroom. Lying her on the bed he had a chat to his 'little bug' as Addy called it.

"I know you can't see yet and that's a good thing because it's about to get a little x-rated." It had taken a while for Iris to feel comfortable with sex, both Lola and their Doctor assured them that it was safe but she waited until after twelve weeks and that was a struggle for Colton although she was more than willing to make Colton happy. When Iris finally let him loose he was very patient and gentle with her.

Now she had no such problems getting jiggy with it. She was having a bit of a surge and fortunately Colton was always willing to surge right along with her and they were enjoying each other right now. He found her ever changing shape a turn on as well as knowing what was going on inside her. For Iris, having Colton adore her and make her feel safe and loved was just what she needed.

They loved feeling their baby move. Iris obviously felt it first, she had gasped one day when she was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner and put her hand on her stomach. "What is it?"

"Butterfly's. I think it's the baby moving." She looked so happy. They were almost 20 weeks pregnant and Iris was loving every minute of it. Even the crappy days when she felt exhausted it didn't matter, they were having a baby.

It was a few more weeks before Colton got to feel the baby moving, every time he tried it would stop but late at night in bed Iris reached for his hand and he felt it move. "I kinda can't believe this is going on inside you."

"It's surreal isn't it. I can't wait. I'm so impatient, I want to meet them now."

"I know you do but not yet Bug, it's got some growing to do." Colton was half asleep and slept well with his hand protecting his precious Bug and her little bug. "I want to see you big and fat with that baby belly."

"You know, the scan next week. We could find out?" Iris was back and forth about it.

"We could, if you really want too."

"You don't?"

"It is what it is, I don't care and all Riley and George telling me is how horrific it is and the not knowing kinda takes away some of the horror and then I can blame him or her for trashing your lady garden."

"You spend way too much time with them."

They loved seeing it move every time they had a scan, it had surprised them to see their baby's personality already, the hand over its face, sucking it's thumb or waving, they even managed to catch it with a case of the hiccups. They had more scans than usual because Lola would often call them on the weekend when it was quiet at work and get them to come in and she could give them a quick look at their growing baby.

Decorating the nursery was fun. It was always going to have an Australian animal theme and painted on one wall was a mural that had koala's, emus, echidna's, a platypus, wombats, kookaburras and hidden behind them all was a Leopard, Rhino and Giraffe. Colton had organised it and he took Iris away to the beach house for the weekend and left Mae to supervise the painter to come in.

She had loved it. It was beautiful, not leaning towards a boy or girl because at the end of the day they decided to not find out what they were having. Iris hoped for a girl and Colton thought it was a boy but they didn't mind either way. Mae and Lola were both on the boy bandwagon but Alfie felt like they had another girl on the way.

Colton loved how Iris's family surrounded her. He loved watching the kids come up to her and feel and talk to her baby and even he shed a quiet tear when Alfie gave her a little train. "For your own little Bug, so they know their Uncle Alfie is always there for them, always Bug."


	67. It's a Secret

Iris went into labour a week before her due date. It was early evening so they were able to quietly go to hospital without making a big deal of it. She had been unsettled all day, it was uncomfortable now and when Colton got home she had a shower while he cooked dinner. Coming out Iris just looked at him and burst into tears. He was kind of used to the tears lately, they were getting harder to work out though. In the past he knew what set her off generally, now he had no clue. Last night it was because she wanted raspberries for breakfast today and she'd just eaten the last one. Colton was out the door trying to find an open grocery store that sold raspberries at nine-thirty at night.

They went in without telling anyone and a little before six am the following morning their life changed forever when they finally held their precious little girl. They were in love with her from the moment she was laid on Iris's chest. It felt a little surreal, they didn't think this moment would ever happen and the spent the first two hours just staring at her. They couldn't believe how perfect she was.

Colton cried the first time he held her, he was overwhelmed by her and in awe of his wife. What she'd gone through was tremendous and he wasn't expecting labour to be as intense as it was. Iris was in agony but she soldiered through it and kept telling him that at end of it all the pain would be forgotten, like Lola and Mae told her it would and she wouldn't remember it once she had her baby in her arms.

Making the decision to spend the day with just the three of them was a big call, they knew it was going to upset some people, particularly Colton's Mom who was desperately waiting for her grandchild. She had tried to repair her relationship with Colton and he understood how much this baby meant to her too. Marchella tried hard to be nice to Iris, her daughter-in-law held the key to letting her see her grandchild but it was strained at best. She honestly believed that it was Iris that was preventing her from having any sort of relationship with her son, which couldn't be further from the truth.

Iris was exhausted and emotional, she felt overwhelmed already with all the new things she was learning, she wanted to hold her baby, a baby she had wanted for so long, she wanted to adore her, get to know her and learn how to take care of her. Finally holding the baby they'd dreamed of for a long time was more intense than they imagined. They didn't want to share her or this time with anyone else, they didn't want to have to give her up for other people to love just yet, there was plenty of time for that. They could never get this day back and they wanted to remember it forever.

Watching Colton get to know his daughter was everything she thought it would be. If they had visitors he wouldn't get the chance to just love her. Iris had to feed her so she would always get to cuddle her, Colton would take a step back and let everyone else hold her and he'd miss out. Iris didn't remember her father, she had no physical thing to hang on to but she had photos and videos and she saw how happy and involved her Dad was in her life from the moment she was born and that's all she wanted for her daughter, to know and be loved by her Daddy.

He sat a just let her sleep on his chest, refusing to put her down. She'd have plenty of time to be left to sleep in her bed. He'd never forgotten listening to Iris and her siblings talk about how their Mom and Dad were insistent that they would always know the touch of the person who loved them the most, sadly Iris didn't remember them so Colton was making sure that's what he was doing for his daughter and for Iris all the while he was falling more and more in love with her as he held her.

It seemed unfathomable to him how Iris only had her father for three years, he wanted three hundred years with his daughter and still wouldn't be enough. His heart hurt for Iris, for her sisters and her brother, for her grandparents and for her own parents too. It hurt to think of everything they missed out on, seeing their children grow up, become the very best version of themselves, fall in love, get married and have their own children. He couldn't imagine not seeing his daughter just living. He didn't want to miss a moment of her life.

Letting other people into their world right now felt like more than they could handle, they wanted to stay in their bubble for a little longer and Colton would do whatever Iris wanted. This was Iris's moment and he was going to let her have it.

As much as they wanted to share her with the world it was better this way and when they were ready to physically share her they would. It felt a little crazy but the more people that knew about her the more chance someone would hurt her and that was stupid. Iris told him as much. He knew that those closest to him would never deliberately hurt his daughter but he was desperate to protect her from everything and everyone.

Colton didn't want to deliver their baby, she was too precious and he was worried something would go wrong, but they were happy they decided to spend the day alone with her. Even the nursing staff left them alone, they had minimal interruptions. She was weighed and measured, the Paediatrician gave her a quick once over and she was left with her parents. They lay her on the bed, stripped her off and checked out every part of her. She was perfect and they couldn't love anything more than her.

"Look at her." Iris gasped when they stripped her off, she still seemed shocked that this was their baby. Her little legs pulled up to her stomach, her arms stretched over her head and she let out a sudden wail. "Oh Colton I love her so much." Her skin was buttery soft and she didn't quite fit into it, they loved all her creases, her tiny ears, long fingers, skinny little legs and cute little rosebud mouth.

"I can't believe we made her. I can't believe she came out of you like that. I mean she was all slimy, covered in god knows what and now look at her." He bent down and kissed her dark hair. "She's just perfection. Like her Momma."

"That feels weird."

"What does?"

"That I am a Mom."

"Hottest Mom in the world." Colton kissed Iris softly, he could have just kept kissing her all day. What she'd been through, the road they'd travelled, the road she'd travelled since she was three years old had all led to this. This incredible moment where he didn't know if he could love her any more than he did right now. "You are certainly a MILF."

"Ummm, you aren't touching me anytime soon."

"Oh god no, she's trashed you." Colton had been a little bit horrified at everything that went with childbirth and what came out of Iris, it wasn't just their baby, there was a lot of other crap that he wasn't expecting. He had seen videos but seeing it happen to Iris was a completely different kettle of fish, he was horrified and amazed at the same time. "I promise to let that all heal up before I subject you to my considerable charms."

"You are too kind."

"And madly in love with you. Luckiest guy in the world right here." He looked directly into Iris's eyes. "You are incredible, I can't believe you love me and let me love you. I can't believe we did this and I hope this helps you cope with that little part of your heart that will always be scarred. I hope she always knows how incredible you are, how much you love her and adore her and how precious she is. I hope she looks at you in awe, like I do. Thank you for making every single one of my dreams come true." Iris was always going to cry, especially when Colt did.

While Iris slept Colton held his baby girl. He told her about all his dreams for her, how special her Mom was and how lucky he was to have both of them. The midwife came in and told him to strip her off, undo his shirt and lay her on his chest. She covered them with a warm soft blanket and left them to bond. She had the tiniest little cry and it was a sweet sound but listening to her cry was a little heartbreaking too, they knew that's how she communicated with them but it was confronting to think that they had to work out what she wanted. When he talked to her and as he stroked her head gently she seemed to calm down. "Daddy's got you sweetheart. I won't let you go."

Iris called the midwife when she was due for a feed and they watched her attachment and guided Iris through the process and while they were still learning they were getting the hang of it. She didn't feed for long but they were assured that was normal because Iris only had small amounts of colostrum for her and her stomach was tiny.

They left hospital the next day, Iris desperately wanted to go home. She felt great, or as good as she expected to feel, the baby was doing well, they had learnt how to bathe her and she was feeding okay and they'd have a midwife visit her twice a day for three days and they had Lola. Iris had plenty of messages on her phone from her sisters checking up on her, like she did every day and she had told them as little as possible when she responded that she was 'fine, tired and uncomfortable' and that wasn't a lie.

They were at home, safe and sound and happily starting their life as a family of three.


	68. A Rose by any other name

_I know you've all had this moment … this is love at first sight._

It was a black and white photo of Iris and their baby girl just after she was born. The baby was looking up at her mother and Iris had her hand over her own mouth and tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared down at her precious baby. He thought it was perfect, it captured a moment he would never forget as long as he lived. Iris was crying and in shock and he thought she had never looked more beautiful. It captured that first moment of Iris as a mother, that pure moment of true love and a moment that, at times they never thought they'd get.

That's all he sent initially and his phone started ringing but he ignored them all for a bit, he wanted them to be as amazed by that photo as he was. Just a few moments later he sent another message.

_My beautiful and incredible Iris gave birth to our little baby girl early yesterday morning. Born at 547am after almost ten hours of labour, Iris was amazing and our beautiful daughter is healthy, 7lbs 6ozs of absolute perfection and we are surprised at how much she has complete control of our hearts already. She is all that we hoped for and so much more. I love you Bug, you have been incredible every day of this long journey we've been on, I am glad I am travelling this road with you. Thank you for being my everything. Thank you for being the mother of my daughter. Your dreams have come true. My dreams have come true. Our dream life is with our beautiful little human._

Iris made him send a photo of him with his daughter. She was in his arms, one tiny hand wrapped around his finger and Colton was just staring at her, the newborn matching his intense gaze. Iris had taken it and added a caption. _'Hello Daddy.'_

He called his parents and Iris talked with everyone in her own family. They was a little bit of shock that they had kept her a secret for a day, particularly Colton's mother, she was upset that she had been a grandmother for more than twenty-four hours already. She figured it was Iris's decision. "No, it was our decision. We wanted to spend a bit of time getting to know her and Iris was exhausted and a little bit emotional."

"About what? I thought she'd be happy?"

"She was happy Mom, she is happy but it was still tough for her."

"I guess her family knew yesterday."

"Oh for fuck's sake." Colton snapped. "You all found out at the same time." He had enough and he hated that his mother was ruining this moment for him. "Don't ruin this for us. If you want to come meet her, we are at home now." He hung up.

They sent videos and photos of their little girl, now that everyone knew about her they wanted to show her off. They had one perfect photo of her, wide eyed, serene, perfect rosebud mouth, dark hair and her little hands clenched under her chin and captioned it. _'We didn't know love like this existed.'_

Everyone understood why the spent the day alone with their baby. It had been a long and painful journey for them, they deserved to celebrate their daughter in any way they saw fit.

Colton had lifted the carrier out of the car, his most precious cargo was safely home. It was painstakingly slow and nervous drive home and Iris teased him mercilessly, even though she was sitting the back so she could keep an eye on her. Setting it down on the coffee table he watched Iris lift her out. Her arms and legs scrunched up tight as she squirmed and let out a sudden cry. Iris cradled her to her chest and covered her with that soft white blanket that had bought all of them home. "Welcome home baby girl. This is where the magic happens." She whispered. Iris had taken to motherhood like a duck to water so far and nothing was going to rain on her parade. She had lots of practice with her nieces and nephews but this was so much better.

"Can I get you anything?"

"We would love a hug from Daddy." Iris held out her hand and she welcomed his arms around both of them.

Colton touched the soft downy hair of his daughter; this was their new heaven. "How good is this?"

"I still can't believe that she's here. It feels a little surreal. When I woke up this morning I thought for just a moment that I was dreaming." Iris rested her head on Colton's shoulder. "Then I saw her, sleeping beside us… she's so perfect Colt. I think we were meant to wait for her."

As much as they wanted to just stay in their little bubble it was time to share.

Colton's mother was the first to meet her granddaughter. They couldn't keep her away, Colton had neglected to tell Iris that she had been disappointed that they had kept her arrival a secret for a 'whole day.' There was no love lost between them and he had given up trying. He just ignored her snide comments now. The only reason Colton still maintained any sort of relationship with his mother was because Iris made him.

Iris amazed him, how she just put up with it all because she just wanted her mother in her life. Part of her had hoped that Marchella would fill that void a little, like Mae's mother-in-law had embraced Mae and Lola's had as well when she was alive. Quinn's parents adored Alfie and Iris was left with a mother-in-law who made things hard every step of the way, although his father and step-mom were wonderful.

Iris had answered the door, much to the surprise of Marchella. Colton was just changing a diaper after the little girl had woken for a feed. She was crying wildly, getting undressed was something that they had learnt that she didn't particularly like. Colton was trying to help Iris as much as he could and get involved. Right now when she was just feeding and sleeping his only chance was changing her and bringing her to Iris for a feed and fussing over Iris.

Iris did love listening to Colton with his daughter already. He was always talking to her, telling her what he was doing, apologising for not doing it very well yet and promising to get better and how much he loved her.

Marchella could barely contain her excitement, not for seeing Iris but to see her granddaughter, although she knew that Iris held the keys to the relationship with her grandchild. "Iris, you look wonderful. Congratulations dear, I am so happy for you." Marchella smiled sweetly, although her gaze was way over Iris's shoulder.

It had been a long way back for Marchella and Colton and Iris had instigated it even before she fell pregnant. She had been hurt by Marchella but growing up without a mother she just couldn't let Colton cut her out of his life. They were never going to be close though. When he finally agreed to talk to her his one stipulation was that she treated Iris with respect. _"She is the reason I am here right now so the least you could do was recognise that and give her the respect she has earned and deserves." _He made it clear to his mother that wrong step and he would walk away so fast her head would spin.

It had taken Iris six months to convince Colton to speak to her again after the wedding when Iris had begged him to go see her for her birthday.

It was awkward for a while but they gradually repaired their relationship to a degree and when he told Marchella that Iris was four months pregnant she had wept with joy. Iris was always going to make sure she was involved in their child's life and Colton admitted that he wanted her to have a relationship with his child, how much he wasn't sure and it was yet to be seen if they could maintain it but he was willing to try. Knowing that all Iris would have wanted was her parents here had helped him come around, he was playing nice with his mother for Iris. He didn't understand exactly why Iris was so insistent but he would do anything to make her happy and she wanted their child to have a relationship with its remaining grandparents.

It was on shaky ground though and she had been a little too forthcoming with her opinions on the pregnancy, what she wanted to happen and what she thought Iris should and shouldn't be doing.

"Thank you, we are pretty excited. Come and meet her. She's perfect." Iris gushed. They were so happy that they had spent yesterday alone but now they were excited to show her off. "Colt is just getting her ready for a feed. As you can hear she doesn't love it." He was trying to hurry but the desperate cries also meant her arms and legs were thrashing and he struggled to get her dressed again.

It would only be a short cuddle for Marchella because the little girl was starving. "Oh, she's so beautiful." Marchella cried when Colton handed her over. "I forgot how small they are."

"She didn't feel small coming out." Iris was starting to feel the effects of giving birth. She was hobbling a little now that the adrenaline had worn off. "I can't believe she was actually in here." She patted her still large stomach, she looked like she was about seven months pregnant again.

"It's amazing isn't it? I remember when Sophie was born, I was kind of stunned that she started as this microscopic thing and then that comes out and you think 'holy crap'." Marchella was just staring at the little girl. Her dark hair was fluffy, her eyes tightly closed and her face was red as she started to ramp up her crying but she was still the most beautiful baby Marchella had seen, even more so than he own children apparently.

Colton made his mother a coffee while Iris settled in to feed, it took her a while to get comfortable while the baby was crying and still learning how to get her mouth open enough was a challenge for both of them so having her Mother-in-law hovering over her made her nervous. "Mom." He called her to come look at some of the photos they had taken. "Bug's still learning Mom, they both are. Just give her some space." He was worried his mother was going to overwhelm Iris with advice and smother her with 'motherly' attention, she wouldn't be able to help herself. Her crack several months ago about being their child's 'only grandmother' and that gave her special privileges had upset Iris. It was cruel and heartless at a time when Iris was emotional and struggling to deal with her pregnancy and missing not only her parents but her grandparents. Colton had told her as much. _'not only is it a horrible thing to say, it's not even true. I know you like to pretend Lucy doesn't exist but she does and she at least treats Iris like a human, not just an incubator.'_

"Sorry. I just can't believe that you've had your baby. My little granddaughter."

"Neither can we. As soon as Bug has finished you can have another cuddle. We are still getting to know her too." He knew it would take a while, they were averaging about half an hour at least at the moment and she was feeding every couple of hours.

Colton took some photos of Marchella with her granddaughter once she was able to have another cuddle so she could show her friends. Iris knew how much this meant to his mother even if it was an uncomfortable truce. She would have done anything to have her mother around, she could imagine how excited she would be, if she was anything like MiMi was when Lola was pregnant and it hurt to think that MiMi never met Sam. She vowed to try and play nice and beg Colton to as well.

Even when Marchella commented on how Colton _'preferred to sleep on his belly and she might find that the baby would settle quicker that way.' _Iris just smiled.

"She's doing fine on her back and that's how they prefer them to sleep when they are newborn." They breathed a sigh of relief when she left, they were glad it was out of the way and Iris could rest now until the mob arrived.

Marchella didn't love her name, that much was obvious. She smiled tightly. "Oh that's unusual, not what I was expecting. We had some beautiful family names. I thought you might have used one of those."

"Oh well, that's what we decided and liked." Colton just sighed. "We love it and think it suits her perfectly."

"It is a family name." Iris snapped. "Please don't."

"Sorry Iris, I was just…."

Colton glared at his mother and she swallowed the rest of the sentence and he was furious when Iris cried. She disappeared upstairs quickly so that Marchella didn't see it, she was either oblivious or just didn't give a fuck that he'd upset the brand new mother. Colt just stewed.

Iris slept most of the afternoon at the same time as the baby while Colton fussed around the house doing housework making sure everything was put away. He returned some calls and looked through the hundreds of photos they had taken already. They had invited Lola, Mae and Alfie over for dinner, along with all the assorted attachments but they had insisted on bringing take-out. Nobody needed to be cooking tonight.

Mae arrived first. They heard Poppy and Max before they saw them. "Oh Bug, she's just perfect." Mae cooed when she got her hands on her newest niece. "I'm so proud of you. Look George, isn't she perfect? She looks a little like Poppy."

George agreed as he leant over Mae's shoulder and stroked the little girl's hand. "Yes she is perfect and no you can't have one."

"I'm taking this one." She held her tightly in her arms. Poppy was mesmerized by the little girl and Max couldn't care less. He was waiting for Sam and Billy to arrive so he could play with 'the boys.'

As much as Mae tried to get a name out of them Iris insisted that they wait until everyone was here before they announced it. She had bitched a bit, with a smile on her face about them keeping everything a secret.

Lola was told the same thing as Mae; no she couldn't have another one. Olive was only seven months old and Riley thought they were quite happy with three. Olive was squealing in her Dad's arms, she was watching Max, Billy and Sam being silly and loved it. Sam and Billy were always up in her face and she loved her brothers. She always had a smile for them, she could be in the middle of a meltdown and either Sam and Billy would appear and suddenly she was smiling.

Addy was beside herself, she still loved babies. Olive was her favourite right now but even Olive was about to be shoved aside. Marlee was on Max's side of the fence, totally uninterested. "Oh Bug, she's so pretty." Addy was up beside her mother when Quinn was having her cuddle.

Once everyone had a hold Iris took her back and smiled at the sweet little thing. "We struggled a little to come up with a name that felt right. I've had so many amazing people in my life who helped me get to this moment. I was starting to worry I'd never be a mother and now here I am, a mom. I don't remember my mom, but I will always be grateful that I had you all to help me feel close to them both, I feel like they were part of my life." She looked at her sister's first, then she looked at Alfie. "Colton and I can't thank you all enough for your love and support over the past nine months and the three years before that. It's been a tough long road and it meant the world to us to have you all with us. Right now though, we kind of can't remember what it was like before she arrived, she's here and we are totally in love with her and our new life."

Iris looked at her family. "This is Primrose Abigail Hollister Webber and seeing as no one is ever called by their actual name, unless they are in trouble we like to call her Mimi."

"Oh…" Mae burst into tears. "…it's perfect." George slipped an arm around her shoulders and rubbed her arm tenderly. After all the years they had been together he was used to her crying. He loved that she wore her heart on her sleeve.

"MiMi and Pops would be so happy, Mom and Dad would be over the moon." Lola hugged both her sisters.

"I always liked that I was given the name of a flower, so that's where Primrose comes from, we liked that it could be shortened to Rose and then one day we realised that she could be Mimi. Abigail is for you Lola Bear, you've been so wonderful throughout this whole thing, right from the start and I guess a girl called Abigail started all this crazy chain of events." Iris couldn't say anymore. It was amazing that she held it together for so long.

"It's beautiful Bug." Alfie joined his sisters, he stroked Mimi's cheek. "Primrose Abigail Hollister Webber, welcome to the circus tent Mimi. The world is a better place already because you are in it."

They managed to get them all wrangled into one photo. Addy, of course had to hold Mimi and she was very protective. Telling everyone to 'settle down and not be silly' because "Mimi is a tiny baby."

"Marlee Moo." Addy screeched at her sister when she got too close to Mimi. "Stop being two."

They had to laugh, whenever Marlee did something to annoy her sister they told her that she was two and didn't understand sometimes that what she was doing was wrong, which according to Addy was a lot of things.

Everyone left early, Lola rounding them up when Iris was starting to look weary. She sat with Iris for a couple of minutes and cuddled little Primrose before they left, much to Olive's disgust. She didn't want her Dad at the moment, she wanted her Mom but if Lola fed her now she'd never get her into bed. "She's just perfect Iris, I am so happy and proud of you. You deserve this, you deserve her and all the happiness in the world. I am so happy for you and Colton."

It was strange spending their first night at home with their little girl. They didn't really know what to do. She had been fed and was sleeping and they just sat and looked at each other. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know." Iris laughed. "I guess go to bed. I am tired."

"Okay." Colton looked at his watch. "It's like eight?"

"I gave birth less than two days ago, I'll be up again in two or three hours."

"Welcome to our new life."

"You don't mind?"

"Nope. I don't want to sound like I am being pathetic and male because I know what you did was so much more intense than what I did, but fuck I am tired too."

"Let's go to bed Baby Daddy."

They felt they were barely in bed and asleep when Primrose woke, in reality it had been almost three hours and that felt like a good start.

Every two hours after that she was awake, and suddenly life was smacking them in the face in a big way and Colton found himself downstairs with Mimi at 6am making himself a coffee while Iris tried to sleep. "Mimi, this isn't a good start baby girl."

He wouldn't even sit down with her because he was paranoid about falling asleep and squashing her. Rocking her gently until she fell asleep he took her back upstairs and carefully put her into her bed and crawled into his own bed. Iris stirred briefly and muttered something and it felt like he barely shut his eyes and she was awake. "It's not going to be like this every day is it?" he muttered.

"I hope not."


	69. A Birthday Girl

"Da Da Da"

"She's talking to you." Iris nudged her husband and he just grunted.

"Da Da Da." They heard it again, they'd desperately tried to ignore it but it didn't stop. It got louder and more urgent and the trick was to leave her long enough to get another few minutes to yourself but not too long because once she'd cracked it, it got ugly quickly. The ran the gauntlet most days.

Colton dragged himself out of bed, way earlier than he hoped for a weekend and forced himself to smile at her, standing up in her cot, bouncing up and down, her cute little curls all over the shop and her pacifier on the floor. "Mum Mum Mum."

"Oh so now you call your Mom." He scooped her up and planted a big kiss on her rosy red cheek. She was impossibly cute and horrifyingly one today. "Happy Birthday Mimi." She giggled and held onto his face. "You are my big ladybug now."

Changing her diaper quickly he took her into to see her mother. Iris would have loved her to sleep a bit longer but it was her birthday and that was worth waking up early for. "Hey, ladybug.." She held out her arms and Mimi dived out of her father's arms into her mother's waiting ones. "Happy Birthday my sweet girl. I can't believe you are one today."

"One year old and I reckon we've had about a week's sleep that whole time, in total." Colton grumbled as he disappeared into the bathroom. Mimi hadn't been a good advertisement for sleep. Her and sleep seemed to be mutually exclusive, she just didn't seem to need much and they had no idea where that trait came from. Both of them loved to sleep. It was a battle to get her to sleep at night, all the books talk about routine. Dinner, play, bath, book, feed from Iris and bed, that's apparently how you did it, it just didn't work for Primrose, she was a law unto herself. Even bringing her into bed with them didn't work.

"Daddy is grumpy." She tickled Mimi's belly. "What should we do?"

"Da Da Da." Mimi smiled her toothy grin at her mother.

"Yes, Daddy. Shall we have breakfast in bed?"

"Mmmmm" Mimi kicked her legs as Iris rolled over onto her side and lifted her top up. One thing her poor sleeping had done was train her to find her own way and Iris closed her eyes as Mimi latched on, her little warm hand seeking out her mother's face, she loved holding Iris's cheek as she fed, especially her morning feed which was usually lying in bed. Her morning and night feeds were their favourites and quite often she would only have a feed during the day before her nap. Occasionally if she was feeling a little off she'd feed more out of comfort than need but Iris wanted to drop most of them and just keep the night one going for a little while longer.

"Someone's happy." Colton wasn't surprised, he didn't care what Iris decided to do, it was up to her and as long as she thought she could manage he would support her but it was starting to drain her a little and he worried about that. "Toast?"

"Yes please."

By the time he bought up some toast and ginger tea Mimi was crawling all over her mother and Iris was looking a little worse for wear. "Not good?"

"Nope." She was exhausted although they now knew what was causing her chronic tiredness.

"I am still struggling to believe you are actually pregnant."

"I am not, I feel it, every fucking little bit."

They had been shocked to find out that Iris was pregnant a week ago. Her period had been erratic since she'd had Mimi and they hadn't thought about it. It was only when she went to the Doctors when she thought she had mastitis because her boobs were painful when she fed and that she was exhausted that they ran a blood test which came back positive and a subsequent scan showed that she was well and truly pregnant.

Staggering out to the car she strapped Mimi in and then sent Colton a message, no words, just a picture.

He reached for his phone when it beeped, he knew Iris was going to the Doctors and was waiting for her to call or text to let him know she was okay. She thought, at most she was low in Iron. It wasn't what he expected at all and he literally gasped.

"Ahhh…Bug?" He called her and she answered on the first ring

"You got my message I assume."

"Is that yours? I mean…?" Colton was struggling to form sentences.

"Yes, yes it is. Surprise. Seems like my one lazy ovary decided to get it's shit together."

"What? No fucking way." He was still looking at it. "It looks…ummm big."

"That's because I am about fourteen fucking weeks."

"What?"

"Almost four months. Holy crap."

They literally had no idea; they hadn't even talked about it lately. They had joked about it right back when they started having sex again after Mimi was born that it would be funny if now her body had figured out how to do it she'd have no trouble falling pregnant next time. They knew breastfeeding offered some protection and assumed that coupled with her one ovary being lazy at best that it was nigh on impossible and would take another four years. Obviously not. "Like is everything okay?"

"Well I am glad there is only one, and everything looks good apparently."

"Wow." He managed to squeeze out. "Wow. Well, look at us go I suppose."

"Yep."

"Are you okay?"

"Shocked, confused and a little nauseous…." Iris finally let herself smile. "…I'm so happy."

"Me too."

Colton could barely focus at work so he pulled the pin and went home. "What are you doing here?" Iris was surprised to see him just after lunch. She had just got Mimi down for her afternoon nap and appreciated the hug though.

"Oh I don't know; you kinda dropped a bombshell and it's distracted me and I wanted to see you."

He made Iris take a step back and tried to look at her with a critical eye. "What did we miss?" She didn't look any different. She had no belly, her boobs looked like they always did, perhaps that she was still feeding Mimi that masked that. "You don't look pregnant."

"I don't feel pregnant but I can assure you there is a little baby in here…" she patted her stomach "…all attached, heart beating wildly, I mean when I saw it I thought holy fuck, it has like a head and arms and legs." Iris showed him the video.

"It's beautiful."

"I'm so happy Colt, this is amazing."

"It is." Iris was peering over his shoulder. "Actually I didn't just think holy fuck, I actually said it out loud."

"So what now?"

"I need to see my obstetrician, everything looked good but he wants me checked by a specialist so I've called and made and appointment for Friday." They certainly squeezed Iris in because she was already so far into her second pregnancy and she didn't know and they certainly knew who Iris was. "Can you make it?"

"Yep." He tugged on her hand and pulled her close and kissed her softly. "I love you Wombat; you are this incredible little thing aren't you?"

"I didn't do it by myself."

"You can thank me for always trying to get my leg over."

Iris chuckled and then ran her hands down his back and over his butt. "Remember last time, I got a little frisky about three months in?"

"I do."

"You wanna, how do you put it, get your leg over?"

"Yep." He dragged Iris upstairs and they made the most of the time they had together.

Colton even spent some time talking to his new little bubba. "Hey, my little one. I can't believe you are in there and have little hands and feet already, fingers and toes. I love that you've surprised us and we can't wait to meet you."

Iris loved it, while they waited with baited breath every month for four years this was just as special. This made her feel just as good as finding out about Mimi did. Despite the excitement they wanted a little time to get their heads around it before they told everyone. "I think I want to wait until Mimi's party. It's only a week away, what do you think?"

"Sounds like fun. What did you have planned?"

"I don't know, shit Colt, four hours ago I didn't even know I was pregnant."

"Wild day."

Mimi started to stir and Iris quickly dispatch her father to get her. "I'm in the family way…."

"You are so lucky I love you."

"As you should, I keep letting you inpregnate me."

Mimi's party was just a family event. Iris did go a little overboard, the house was filled with balloons, ladybirds and more food than Colton thought humanly possible. It was worth celebrating in more ways than one. The kids loved the ball pit and dived in and listening to all their personalities was fun. Addy was the school teacher, trying to corral the younger ones. Olive and Marlee just ignored her, much to her disgust. Sam, Billy and Max taunted her, Poppy was a diligent student and Mimi sat on the outside just watching them and squealing when they threw balls at her. She pulled herself up onto the side of the ball pit and bounced up and down on her little legs, reaching for the balls and giggling madly; she just loved being around the kids.

No-one really noticed anything when they first bought out Mimi's cake. It was two Ladybugs side by side, one slightly smaller than the other. The little girl clapped through 'Happy Birthday' and the kids were front and centre for the blowing out of the candle.

When Mimi got cake all over her shirt, Iris changed her into another shirt. "What?" Lola spotted her t-shirt.

It was a picture of a ladybug with a crown that said Oldest Child and lying on the ground was the discarded crown that said Only child.

"Oh that?" Colton laughed.

"Yes, that."

"Well…." Iris smiled. "It seems my lazy ovary isn't so lazy."

"Are you kidding?" Mae still looked shocked.

"Nope, not kidding. Although there is a kicker…we found out about a week ago…."

"It's twins." Mae gasped.

"No, thank god no." Colton quickly doused those flames. "Iris is four months pregnant."

"How could you not know?" Mae pretty much asked what everyone else was thinking considering she was about five weeks last time and taking a pregnancy test.

"I guess we just didn't expect it, you know things have been erratic and Mimi is still feeding so we just didn't think it would happen." She shrugged. "Anyway, it's all good and we are getting over the shock and really, really excited."

Addy squealed. "Oh good, Mimi gets a new baby and Marlee and me get a new baby too."

"Huh, what?" Lola was the first to react and she looked quickly between her brother and sister-in-law.

"I'm getting a brother this time." Addy blurted out. Alfie and Quinn had no idea that she even knew "I asked for it."

"Umm." Quinn stuttered. "We don't know, it might be another girl."

"Nuh ah, it's a brother."

"How did you know?" Alfie quizzed his daughter.

"I heard you, I saw you kiss Mummy's belly, that means she's having a baby." She giggled. "It does doesn't it?"

"Yes, yes. Treacle beak. Mum is having a baby."

"Yay." Addy squealed.

"Wow, what a day." Mae shook her head and laughed at George's furrowed brow. "Oh don't worry, I remain unfertilised.

"Good to know."

"Anyway, so when is this all happening?" Mae pointed at Quinn's stomach.

"Apparently about three weeks after Bug, we've just ticked the three month box and unlike Bug we are smart enough to know when there is a bun in Quinn's oven." Alfie never wanted to take away Iris's shine. It was a big deal for her, as it was for them too. "So, let's celebrate. Two new Hollister's are about to roam the earth, this is a great day."

Iris & Quinn were swamped by her family and Colton's father and stepmother were ecstatic. They loved every minute of being grandparents to Mimi and Lucy would look after her one day a week while Iris worked. She only worked three days, Lucy had her one day, Mae another and she did one day in day-care. It was more than enough and the first few months of that were rough where she picked up every bug that went around. Lola promised them that it was good for her immune system and wouldn't last forever. Things had gotten better eventually and Mimi was such a bundle of energy.

Colton didn't see his mother much anymore. She had pushed him over the edge and he'd snapped. Iris had been a bit stunned by it but he refused to back down. Marchella had gone too far too many times.

The shit hit the fan when his mother had entered her into a baby contest despite Colton and Iris making it very clear they didn't want her too. She had registered Mimi in the online contest which required people to vote for the 'cutest baby' to be the new face of a baby fashion brand.

Knowing full well that they wouldn't approve she changed her name to 'Rose Watson' which was her maiden name and it was only his Aunt alerting him, knowing how closely they guarded Mimi's privacy and their determination to keep her off social media that they found out about it. None of the children appeared on any social media account, their grandparents had started it because of the danger their jobs posed, Sam and Polly continued it and so did they.

It was ugly and Iris had never seen Colton so angry. Even when Iris was stalked and drugged he hadn't been quite so out of control and wild. It was his daughter and she was a baby and he had every right to protect her in whatever way he saw fit. Especially considering what they had been through, it almost destroyed them, they weren't letting that happen to their daughter.

Now they hadn't seen his mother for two months. She wasn't invited to Mimi's party; which Iris did think was a little harsh but Colton refused to budge. It was a celebration and he didn't want anything to ruin it. Once they found out that Iris was pregnant again it only solidified his position.

When Iris asked him if he was going to tell his mother he just shrugged. "One day."

"Before or after this one turns one?" She patted her slightly protruding belly.

"Probably before."

Colton did tell his mother. He rang her and left a message. "Just to let you know that Iris is pregnant. The baby is due in about four months, everything is going well. I'll let you know when it's born." Iris thought it was cold but had decided that it was better to stay out of Colton's relationship with his mother.

Marchella called Iris; she knew better than to call her son. He refused to take her calls. They had also had a run in when his sister unexpectedly turned up. Both Iris and Colton welcomed her into their home until he caught her rifling through their bedroom.

"Give it to me." He held out his hand when she slipped something into her pocket as he came in.

"What?"

"Give it to me?" Colton had been horrified when she handed over a necklace. Iris's crown and train charm. It was the end of his tenuous relationship with his sister. Marchella blamed him, again for driving his sister away.

"She stole from me, from Iris."

"What? A few dollars, you can afford it."

"A necklace. Iris's necklace."

"I am sure you can replace it."

"It's irreplaceable. It was the crown that her Dad bought for her Mom when she was born, along with the train from Alfie. I know that means nothing to you, I know Iris's family and history means nothing to you but it means everything to her. She doesn't remember them, that's all she has."

Colton had been furious at his mother's lack of empathy for Iris. The fact that she was more upset that Colton had kicked his sister out as opposed to being disappointed that Sophie hadn't changed. Nothing had changed in the past ten years; his mother still would do anything to blame her son for Sophie's shortcomings.

"Iris." Marchella was surprised when Iris picked up her call. "I wanted to call and congratulate you. That's wonderful news about the baby."

"Thank you. We are really happy and looking forward to meeting our new little baby, it was a bit of a surprise."

"And you are well?"

"I am. Really well."

"How's Primrose?" It amused Iris that she refused to call her Mimi, Colton would get het up about it but she just ignored it and continued to call her Mimi.

"She's really well, growing like a weed, running around everywhere and keeping us on our toes."

Iris knew what she was about to ask. She wanted to see her granddaughter. "You will need to ask Colton." It wasn't up to Iris to go against Colton's wishes.

"He won't let me see her. I've asked."

"Marchella that's between you and Colton. I'm not getting involved. I don't want to get involved. I've asked him to take Mimi to see you, he refuses there is not much more I can do."

"You could bring her to see me, or we could meet somewhere. He wouldn't have to know. She's my granddaughter."

"I'm not going behind Colton's back. He's my husband, he's Mimi's father it is his choice."

"You never wanted me in her life." Marchella snapped. "You never wanted me in my son's life, you turned him against me."

Iris sighed; she wasn't getting into this argument again. They'd been here a thousand times before. "Thanks for the call Marchella." She hung up.

Nothing was going to rain on their parade, they had a new little life to look forward to and they couldn't wait to meet them.


	70. Four Feet

Four little feet….that was the photo they sent.

Four perfect little feet.

Lola & Riley were the only ones that knew Iris had gone into labour. They had called Lola in the middle of the night when Iris's water broke. She had been labouring at home all day, very erratically and didn't want to leave until she had too.

Mimi was asleep when Iris crept in to see her just before they left. Her sweet baby girl. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow, you'll be a big sister." She whispered, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "You've made us so happy our little ladybug." Mimi stirred a little and Iris held her hand on her back until she settled.

They loved the way she slept, on her tummy, butt in the air. As soon as she could roll over that's how she slept. She was the apple of their eye, the little girl they never thought they'd have and it seemed surreal that they were just hours away from meeting their new little baby.

Colton held her hand all the way to the hospital, feeling every contraction, trying to stay calm and keep Iris from completely freaking out.

They had decided, or more to the point Iris had decided that she wanted Colton to deliver their baby. Like her Dad had done for her and he was scared shitless. "Are you sure you want me to fossick around at that end? Surely I can wipe your brow or boil water or something?" He just thought he'd check one more time.

"Suck it up." Iris groaned and shifted uncomfortably as another contraction gripped her. "You are the reason I'm here."

"Ahh, that old chestnut. Why does it always come back to that? It wasn't a solo performance."

He let Iris squeeze his hand while she contracted.

"You sure you didn't leave some crap on the toilet seat after you whacked off or something?"

"Ah, Wombat." Colton rubbed her thigh as she started to breathe more easily again. "I'm sure it was a beautiful moment in time. I know I enjoyed it and I am pretty sure you did as well, you always do."

"Never again."

"So last night was my swansong?" Iris had been a bit frisky the past few days and Colton would do whatever he had to do to keep her happy. He was a bit of a pleaser in that regards. He didn't mind pleasing Iris in whatever way she chose.

"Yep."

"Fuck it was good. You know how to rock that bod and my bub." Colton laughed. "I am not sure what's better, actually getting you pregnant or getting jiggy with you when you are pregnant."

"Stop talking please."

Iris could barely lie down long enough for anyone to check her dilation and it was only when she had been pushing for almost twenty minutes that she got on the bed. Along with Iris who was a trojan, the midwife did most of the work and guided Colton through the last minute as he eased his child into the world. His breath had caught in his throat when he first got a good look at what was happening. What women did was amazing and his wife was just incredible, it looked horrific and he was stunned to see what she was going through, he had avoided looking at the business end last time. Their midwife reminded him that this was perfectly normal and Iris was doing really well. She was in agony and it looked like she was about to rip in half and then there was a head, and not long after the rest of their perfect new baby entered their world.

"It's a boy." He gasped as he looked at the baby in his hands. It was incredible. He didn't notice the blood and god knows what else because not only did he come out, but a big gush of liquid as well. He was distracted because he just delivered his son and it was the most incredible moment of his life. The midwife told him to put him on Iris's stomach and as he did Iris reached for him and lifted him up onto her chest.

"Hi, oh aren't you beautiful." He let out a gurgling wail. "Daddy's little man."

Colton was suddenly beside her, the midwife had given him a soft towel and told him to give him a good rub to get him going and clean him up a little and she chuckled because while they always gave them a vigorous rub the newborn's dad was so gentle as he wiped him softly. "I'm so proud of you Bug. Look at him."

Iris dragged her eyes away from her baby and looked at her husband. "I can't believe it. It's really a boy?" She had always thought it was a boy but seeing him was still a shock.

"He's got a hose."

They didn't stay long; within six hours of his birth they went home. Colton called Lola to check on Mimi and refused to tell her anything other than it all went well and they had a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby and they were coming home soon.

Lola met them at the car with Mimi, she helped Iris out and Mimi dived into her mother's arms while Colton opened the back door and lifted out the precious cargo. Lola instantly spied the little blue hat. "It's a boy?"

"He certainly is."

"Oh Bug, he's beautiful. Look Mimi, it's your little brother." Mimi was looking curiously at the baby when her Daddy proudly showed him off. "How are you Bug?"

"Well I feel like I've given birth." She hobbled towards the house. "But I'm good and so happy to be home."

Those four perfect feet…..

_How much trouble are we in now? Primrose is a little wary. There is a new doll in the house that moves, cries and demands attention from her mother. Eliot Ruzek Hollister Webber is a lucky boy, he's got an amazing big sister, a beautiful Mom and a besotted Dad._

_Earlier today Iris and I welcomed our little boy into the world. At 8lbs 1oz he's perfect and we are relaxing at home and learning how to be parents to an amazing little girl and handsome little boy. Bug, you are just an incredible human, I love living this life with you._

Mimi wasn't overly enamoured with him. She held him long enough to take the photo and then pushed him away. Lola had a cuddle and then left them to it. She had her own children to sort out and a husband to calm down. Riley had admitted he was a little scared, his wife was way too into Iris's pregnancy. She called him on the way home.

"And?"

"It's a boy, he's beautiful, Bug looks great and they are so happy. He's so cute and tiny and he looks like Adam a little."

"No."

"I'm not clucky."

"You sure and I don't really care if you are. Three crackheads is more than enough."

"How are they?"

"Sam is at Jakob's house so Billy is annoying the shit out of Olive because he's bored and Olive is whining because Billy is being a pain in her ass and mine." Riley hadn't loved the day so far; he was relieved when Jakob's Mom called to see if Sam wanted to have a playdate. Although it turned out that Sam was the sane one. Olive's whinging was doing his head in. There was no way they were going back for another; they couldn't wait until Olive was out of her terrible twos. It didn't help that Billy just needled her constantly especially if Sam wasn't around, he turned all his attention to his sister. She had developed an ear piercing scream when things didn't go her way and her brother knew it. He'd steal her toys, mess up her tea parties, steal her dolls and do whatever he could to annoy her. Billy was their wildcard, he'd well and truly earned his nickname of Wild Billy. "The fucking cat is being a criminal."

"So nothing new?"

"Nope." They had relented, Sam's desperate pleas egged on by his cousin about getting a cat had worn them down. It was a crazy little thing and they did love it but it had a habit of stealing things, usually food from the kids plates. They of course encouraged it by teasing it. Sam adored Catty, as he named her, and was always sneaking her into his bedroom to sleep when she was little and now if they locked her out of Sam's room at night she'd wake the whole house up with her carry on so it was easier to let her sleep on Sam's bed. Much to Addy's annoyance, Kitty wasn't allowed to sleep on the beds at night and it wasn't fair apparently.

If anyone should be scared though, it was Alfie, he still had a baby obsessed daughter. Addy had declared, not only did she want a brother this time, then she wanted a better sister, because '_you know Marlee is a bit of a nimbcompoof'_. They were not quite sure where that came from, she was also pretty sure '_she was going to have twenty babies_.' which horrified Alfie particularly when she told him she was going to wait until she was bigger though, like ten. She was also going to grow cats, like Nanna Meg did.

Quinn just laughed at him when he went on a rant about it, that was like three years away and he wasn't ready to be a grandparent apparently, completely dismissing that she wasn't going to get pregnant at 10.

If she loved her Mom's pregnancy with Marlee, this time Addy was even more invested and wanted to know everything. Last time all she cared about was that her Dad remembered how to make a baby and she was getting one. Alfie had to have a discussion with her that he wasn't particularly ready for on how they made the baby and how it came out which did shock her a little. He did hope that discussing how babies were made might make her rethink her three year plan but it had zero effect, she didn't really join the dots together.

Mae was at work but managed to scoot out for an hour to meet her nephew. Colton and Mimi were having some cuddles watching TV while Iris and Eliot were asleep upstairs. She tickled Mimi's toes and asked her about her brother which bought about a little glare which made Mae laugh. They were in for a world of pain with this one. She wasn't happy about the new baby being in the house. "How is she?"

"She's good Mae." Colton kissed the top of Mimi's head. "Mimi on the other hand…."

"Not good."

"Ahhhh…Bug was calling her Primrose."

Mae cringed, "Not a good start?" Mimi was such a bold character and she was only eighteen months old so didn't really understand what was going on. She'd also been cut off from Iris's boob a few months ago and not surprisingly didn't like Eliot now getting some action. At the time she'd dealt with it okay, only demanding it occasionally but she'd wigged out seeing Eliot feeding. She slapped her mother's hand and tried to grab hold of Eliot and pull him away. It was an ugly few minutes and Iris was shocked and didn't cope well and yelled at Mimi and pushed her away when she thought she was going to hurt Eliot.

"Nope. We dropped our bundle when Iris fed him." Colton sighed. They were in for a rough few days. "Anyway, pop up and see them. Iris won't mind, she'll be happy to see you."

She crept into their bedroom and peered at her nephew before sitting on the edge of the bed and waking Iris up.

"He's just beautiful." Mae smiled at her sister. "I am so happy for you Bug and for Colton. Such a perfect little family."

"Thanks, we are pretty happy. It's been a big day." Iris told her sister to go pick him up, she knew that Mae would be desperate for a cuddle. That's why she was here after all.

Eliot opened his eyes briefly. "Oh Hi little man. You are so precious. I love you already."

"Mimi's not loving him."

"Poppy went back and forth as well. Now look at her and Max, they are crazy together. They'll be fine. How are you?"

"Tired, sore and happy." Iris grimaced a little. "My bits are on fire."

"I know that feeling."

"Yep and they get to flounce around with their chests puffed out because they made a perfect baby." She waved her hand randomly in the air.

"Well he did."

"I know. He did good though. He delivered him, which was kind special."

Mae laughed. There was no way in hell George would even contemplate it. He steadfastly refused when Mae bought it up when she was pregnant with Poppy. Having her then born at home was bad enough, hence why they were in hospital the first sign of a contraction with Max. The best he could do was cut Max's cord and even that made him cringe and he was worried it was going to hurt Mae or Max.

"Like Dad huh?"

"I wish I remembered his touch." Iris suddenly burst into tears. Hardly unusual for a post-partum mother. There were a lot of hormones, emotions, exhaustion and pain at play. It was a heady mix. "I wish I remembered what Mom's kisses felt like."

"Oh Bug." Now she was making her sister cry. "I wish you could too, but I do know how much you loved them and they loved you, they were crazy about you. We tried to fill that hole."

"You did, a little bit you did." Iris wiped her face and forced herself to smile. "Now look at us. All Mom's and Dad's."

"What a crazy fucking Mob hey?" Eliot let out a random cry, Mae loved those first few hours of life when it was spin the wheel crazy. "And this little piece of heaven. Oh my, Bug. He's just perfect."

Alfie and Quinn couldn't stay away either. Addy had a bag of presents for Eliot and also bought a present for Mimi. Marlee was happy to see and play with Mimi and Mimi adored her cousin while Addy just wanted to see the baby. "Your daughter is obsessed." Colton laughed. "You are going to be in a constant state of freak out when she starts dating."

"She's not dating, ever."

Addy was beside his bassinette the moment she was through the door. He was sleeping and his eyes shot open when Addy squealed. "Oh he's so precious. I love him." His eyes slid closed again. "He's awake, look, he opened his eyes. Can I touch him?"

She sat up next to her Dad and waited for her Uncle to pick up her little cousin. "Oh he's so cute. Look Dad, I can't wait until I have a baby."

"Oh Adelaide, not for a long time yet young lady."

"I know Daddy." She rolled her eyes dramatically. Alfie was in a constant state of disarray with Addy and her baby obsession. "First I get my brother and then I'll have a baby."

"It might be a sister and you are not having a baby Adelaide."

"I want a baby." She whined, her bottom lip quivering until Alfie told her she could have a baby when she was an adult. "And I don't want another sister. If it's a girl we can swap with Mimi, she won't care."

"I think Bug and Colton might care if we steal Eliot."

"We'd still love him." There was literally no point talking to her, she had her heart set on a brother and nothing they could do would sway her.

They were right about one thing, Mimi wouldn't care. She refused to have anything to do with Eliot and that devastated Iris. They had waited so long for Mimi and they adored her and thought on many occasions that she may well be the only child they had. Eliot was a total surprise and they were over the moon so to have Mimi so put out by his arrival was a little heartbreaking.

He was a sweet little boy, he was relaxed, ate and slept easily, quickly racking up four or five hours at night. That softened the blow a little, they could feed him and put him down half asleep and he'd just drift off so they could deal with the absolute nightmare that was Mimi.

All they could do was love her, spend time with her and hope it would soon settle.


	71. A Shady Tree

"But…" Addy whined.

Alfie held up his hand to stop his daughter. "Adelaide, you are going to school, no ifs or buts.."

"What if Mum needs me today?"

"Nanna Meg is here, Marlee is here. Mum will be looked after."

"It's not fair, it's not fair that Marlee gets to stay home and I don't."

They had this argument every day for the past week. Addy didn't want to go to school because she was worried she'd miss her Mum having her baby. Especially now the baby was overdue. Everyone was impatient, none more so than Quinn herself.

"Marlee is too young to go to school. You know this Adelaide."

Even as she got out of the car when Alfie dropped her off she reminded him to come get her. It had been a tense trip in, and Alfie did realise how ridiculous it was to be having a tense stand-off with an eight year old about her FOMO. And that's precisely what is was, Addy had FOMO, she hated missing out on anything and she was jealous of Marlee, who quite frankly did not give a shit about the baby. She had no idea what was going on. "Don't forget me Dad."

"I could never forget you Addy, have a good day." He kissed the top of her head and adjusted her backpack on her shoulders. "Learn lots, be my Djinda."

Addy was devastated when her Mum picked her up from school, she barrelled out of class like she did every day in the hope that it wasn't her Mum waiting for her but so far she had been bitterly disappointed. If her Mum wasn't here maybe that would mean she had her baby at last, she was even more inpatient this time than she was with Marlee. "Oh dear." She just burst into tears. Addy just wanted to meet her new baby.

"I'm so happy to see you too Addy." Quinn chuckled. She squatted down slowly and gave her a hug. "I know how you feel my sweet little girl. I want to meet our baby too."

"Why won't it come?"

"It's just not ready yet."

"But when?" she stamped her feet a little, her voice shaking and on the verge of tears. This really wasn't going the way she wanted. "I'm sooooo desperate."

"Me too Adelaide, me too."

Addy gave another one of her epic speeches before she went to bed. They were always amusing, she explained what they were missing out on by staying _'not born'_ and also if they were worried about being born that they shouldn't worry because she didn't remember being born or being a baby and Marlee didn't remember either, but then again _'Marlee doesn't remember much, she's not very bright.'_

Alfie sighed. "Please don't say that Adelaide." Marlee was bright as a button, she loved to talk and was always busy, working things out and loved books and puzzles. She was curious and engaging and annoyed Addy no end. "Say goodnight."

"Good night Bubba, please come tonight. I really, really, really want to meet you."

He took her up to bed and Marlee was already asleep. That girl loved her sleep and as soon as she got tired she went and found her koala and asked to go to bed. She'd have one story and then roll over and go to sleep. They'd been blessed with her, right from the start Marlee had been a good sleeper and she rarely came into their bed during the night. On weekends they'd have them both in the bed for a cuddle before breakfast but Marlee preferred to sleep in her own bed.

"Daddy, I'm going to dream about our baby coming tonight."

"That's a good idea."

"Will you?"

"Yes, I do every day. I'll tell you a secret." He tucked her into bed and made sure Ed was nice and snug beside her. "I can't wait either."

"Maybe if Mum jumps up and down it might come out?"

"Maybe." Alfie kissed her forehead. He had his own plans for how they could get this baby moving. It hadn't worked so far but he was willing to give it one more shot, he'd give it one more shot until the day Quinn went into labour. They had a Doctor's appointment tomorrow to see where they were at because if things didn't get a move on soon they would induce her.

Quinn didn't exactly jump up and down, but they got very active; she'd do anything to get this baby out, she was well over being pregnant.

She woke him up about 4am when she hauled herself out of bed. Quinn hadn't made it through the night for months and the last few weeks she was up every three hours. Crawling back in she rolled over and nudged him lightly, he only slept lightly until Quinn was back in bed. "Alfie, wake up…"

"What? Really again?" he chuckled.

"No, I think I'm having some contractions."

He sat up suddenly. "What? Really? Are you sure?"

"Well no, I am not sure, but I've had a couple of cramp like pains over the past hour or so."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I wasn't sure what it was. I'm still not sure. Should I ring the hospital? Or Lola?"

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" He was prepared to take her in now. Her mom was here and would stay with the girls. Surprisingly he was calmer than he'd thought he'd be although neither of them were expecting it to last. They hadn't done the labour thing before.

"Not yet. It's still really erratic and like half an hour apart. Can we just lie here?" Quinn reached for Alfie's hand and pulled him back down. "Feel this?"

It took a while before she had another contraction and it didn't feel much different to him but he heard Quinn's breathing change slightly. Quinn did call the hospital and they asked her a few questions and gave them some idea of what to do and when to come in. By the time Addy woke they were a little more regular but not uncomfortable and they decided that while Quinn was still in the very early stages of labour that they wouldn't tell her. There was no way she would go to school if she knew.

Alfie took Addy to school and Quinn had managed to hide her contractions from her and didn't tell her mother until after Alfie had left. It wasn't long after he got home that Quinn's water broke and he took her in.

He found it terrifying and incredible to watch Quinn in labour. She walked constantly, rocked, breathed and zoned out to work her way through the labour. Alfie felt superfluous most of the time. She talked to him on and off and was amazingly calm. The closer it got the more anxious he felt.

This was new for both of them and when he told the Midwife that; while this their third child it was the first time either of them had experienced labour she looked at him strangely, he hadn't even thought about Quinn's medical record and it noted that it was her second pregnancy. "Oh, Quinn adopted my daughter when she was five, I wasn't around when she was born." The midwife still looked at him like he had two heads, he was speaking in tongues.

Quinn got in the bath and while she was on her knees , gripping the edge of the bath and Alfie knelt at the end and talked to her, helped her breath through her contractions and encouraged her. "You fucking rock." He whispered in her ear when she had a particularly intense contraction.

"I'm scared Alfie."

"Why are you scared? You've got this, we've got this. Tell me what to do?"

"Don't leave me."

"I am right here Darlin', I am not going anywhere. I can't believe what you are doing for us, you are making our family complete." He spoke to her quietly and he knew she was listening when she nodded but she didn't speak. "You've got no idea how much I love you. There are no words, none."

Pulling away from him suddenly Alfie was stunned at the intensity of the next contraction. "Okay…" the midwife rested her hand on Quinn's back. "Quinn sweetheart, you are crowning. Do you want to stay here?"

"No." While the water had helped she didn't want a waterbirth, she knew it was safe but she couldn't do it so once the contraction eased off they stood her up and helped her out of the bath.

She barely got out when another contraction started to build and she held onto Alfie and pushed and the strength emanating from his wife was gobsmacking. He was stunned at how hard she had to work, he expected it was brutal but it was so much more intense than he imagined. Between contractions she rocked back and forth and it was barely two minutes later that Alfie was stunned to see the midwife catch his baby. Quinn's head was buried into his shoulder, she was breathless and shaking violently and he needed the help of another midwife to hold her up. He glanced at the midwife and she held up his baby so he could see.

"Hey Darlin', we've got a little boy."

"Really?"

"Really. He's all boy."

Quinn lifted her head off his shoulder and saw her boy for the first time. He was screaming, slightly blue and had arms and legs going everywhere. "Is he okay? He's blue?"

"He's loud, angry and ready for a cuddle." The midwife assured them both that he was doing fine. "Being born is hard work."

Quinn couldn't hold him, she was shaking uncontrollably so they handed Alfie his son and he was cradling him and talking to him with Quinn just watching them until his cord was clamped and cut and they then helped Quinn onto the bed. "I made a mess on the floor." She laughed nervously.

"Not the first, won't be the last." The midwife chuckled and as soon as she was on the bed Alfie laid her son on her chest.

"Oh Alfie, he's just…" she gasped. "…he's ours?"

"He certainly is, he's perfect."

"Can I keep him? She looked at the midwives fully expecting them to take him off her like Marlee had been. "He's okay isn't he? I want to keep him."

"We'll have a good look at him in a minute but he's making enough noise to tell us he's just fine." She patted her leg. "He's all yours for now."

His hair was slightly darker than Marlee's had been, a bit more like Addy which would make her happy but he did look like his little sister and he was a lot bigger than her.

Quinn hated letting him go and Alfie watched them check him out and weigh their little boy. He a healthy 8lbs 3ozs and he was back with his Mom within minutes and apart from his diaper he was lying naked on his mother's chest while Alfie took as many photos and videos as he could.

They were settled in their room before they called Quinn's Mom and told her the good news and that Alfie was going to go home and pick up Marlee and then Addy from school. He wanted to bring them both in together to meet their brother.

Marlee was just happy to see her Dad. She loved going to 'school' to get her Addy. They had a playground there and she was off like a shot as soon as she was out of the car. Addy certainly didn't cry when she saw her Dad, she literally ran at him and was a little breathless with excitement. "Where's Mum?"

"Ahhh Addy, she's got something to show you."

"At hospital?" she was jiggling around in front of him clapping her hands. "Is it a boy? Is it a brother? Is Mum okay? Is the baby okay? Is he pretty? I dreamed it, it worked. My dream worked."

Alfie squatted down in front of his daughter. He held her hands tightly but she couldn't stop squirming. "Yes it did. Mum is really good, she's amazing and she can't wait to see you and Marlee. We really want you to meet your brother. Come on."

"It's a boy? Oh my god, it's a boy? My brother" Addy was beside herself. "Marleeeeee….." Addy screeched at her sister. "Hurry up. We've got to go to the hospital."

When Marlee didn't move quick enough Addy literally went and dragged her off the swings. Marlee was unimpressed and Alfie had to run interference when they were both melting down for entirely different reasons, Addy wanted to go, Marlee wanted to stay.

By the time they got to the hospital Addy had managed to whip Marlee up into a tizz as well. He did like how excited they were about their new brother. He wasn't sure how long it was going to last but it was pretty cute right now. They were talking about him, how big he was going to be, what his name was, which they hadn't really decided yet and who was going to have the first cuddle and who he would love the most. Fortunately they decided he would love them both.

Quinn had just finished feeding him when they arrived. He was lying on her lap while she sorted out her own clothes. He let out a loud wail and Quinn loved watching him and all his facial expressions as he was trying to figure out life.

She heard them coming and Addy and Marlee burst through the door. "Mum." Marlee squealed while Addy headed straight for the baby.

"I'm so excited to see you both." Marlee scrambled up on to the bed and Alfie quickly grabbed the baby because she just didn't see him. Addy was beside herself and Alfie told her to sit up quickly on the bed and she could have a cuddle once she'd calmed down.

"Oh, I love him so much." She burst into tears when her Dad laid her brother in her arms. "Dad, he's so pretty."

"He is, like his sisters."

"Me?" Marlee crawled over the bed and peered at her brother. "Hi Bubba."

"Do you want to have a cuddle?" Addy looked rightly annoyed at her Dad for even asking Marlee.

"She's too little, she'll drop him."

Quinn didn't agree, much to Addy's disappointment. "It's Marlee's turn for a cuddle, she won't drop him Daddy will help her and you can come give me a cuddle. I haven't had one from you yet." Quinn held out her arms for Addy and she did enjoy cuddling her Mum.

"Are you okay Mum? He didn't hurt you did he? Did Dad help you?"

"Dad was wonderful, he kept telling me he loved me and you know how happy that makes me?"

"I like it too." Addy loved talking to her Mum about how much Dad loved them. They had always wanted Addy to know how special she was, especially once Marlee was born. While Addy had adored her sister and had waited for a baby for so long she started to worry that everyone loved the baby more than her because they _'didn't have me when I was a baby.' _It was a little rough for her for when someone at school pointed out that Marlee looked nothing like her, she was blond whereas Addy was obviously much darker.

They had to deal with Addy not wanting to go to school and Sam also got in trouble for sticking up for Addy in the playground and pushing a boy over when he taunted Addy. Riley and Alfie having to go to school to discuss it with the Principal wasn't a great day. It did remind Alfie a little of when Mae went nuts at school defending him. She laughed raucously when she heard that Addy and Sam were in trouble. They were most contrite, Addy more so than Sam who was a little defiant until Riley read him the riot act and then he crumbled like a cookie.

"And you know who held him first, Dad did. He gave Bubba lots of cuddles and kisses so that he knew he was safe with us and he told Bubba all about his two amazing sisters who are going to love him and teach him so many things."

"I will." Addy hugged her Mum. "I will teach him like I teached Marlee."

"He is such a lucky boy."

"Did he get cut out?"

"No, not this time. He came naturally."

"How?"

"He had to come out of my vagina."

"Oh dear." Addy covered her eyes. That mortified her, she knew a few things and she knew no one was allowed to touch her down there but the thought of something so big coming out was a little more than she could handle. "Oh dear."

Alfie wanted nothing to do with that discussion and Quinn wasn't entirely sure they were ready for it either. "Okay. Time for a photo, all of us. We need to take a photo to send to Lola and Mae and Bug."

Alfie took a photo of Addy cuddling her brother with Marlee kneeling up behind her hugging her big sister.

_'Better late than never'_

_Adelaide and Marlee are over the moon to show off their little brother. Our 8lbs 3oz little man arrived calmly and beautifully this afternoon at 1336hrs. Quinn did an amazing job, I have no words to describe how incredible the whole experience was. We are completely in love with our boy, Addy and Marlee are already thinking of ways to torture him._

_As for a name, right now he's our Bubba, so when we know, you'll know.'_

They sent the message along with a photo of the three of them and also a photo of the baby and one with Quinn just after he was born.

The girls loved it when Alfie gave him a bath, the both stood up beside him and helped as best they could. Addy sang to him when he cried and Marlee's lip quivered and her little voice shook. "Please don't cry Bubba. It's okay, it's okay." She touched his head softly. "Why he crying?"

"Oh Marlee, he doesn't like being nude." Addy reliably informed her sister.

The little boy didn't love it at all. He had a good set of pipes on him and it wasn't until he was all wrapped up nice and tight and safely cradled in his Dad's arms that he calmed down. "Okay little man, Mum's ready for a cuddle now. How about some tucker and then sleep? You've got a whole mob on the way to meet you so enough of this?" Alfie cooed in his ear.

Quinn wanted to stay overnight, Alfie would have taken them home today but she wanted to stay. She was worried about him. With Marlee they stayed for four days because her milk was slow coming in and Marlee was so small so Alfie knew she was worried that the same thing would happen again. He thought she was an amazing Mum but Quinn had doubts about herself and he hated that.

Their girls were amazing. Sure Addy was almost four when she came into her life but Alfie could see Quinn's influence on her, she had an amazing ability to get Addy to calm down and focus. She thrived when she felt safe and Quinn made her feel safe. Marlee was just beautiful, she had a sweet nature and that was all her mother. She was bright as a button and blew them away with her development and Quinn made sure Marlee got the chance to learn and explore whilst still letting Addy flourish as a big sister.

While Addy was all up in the baby's business they both noticed that Marlee went quiet. She was kneeling up at the window playing with her koala that she had bought with her and paying no intention to what was going on in the room. Alfie went and sat with her and Marlee ended up in his lap having a cuddle. He loved when Marlee was a Daddy's girl, it didn't happen often, she loved her Mum mostly but every now and then she wanted her Dad. She tucked her head up under his chin and played with her Koala. Alfie kissed the top of her blonde head and looked at Quinn. She gave him a watery smile, she thought they were beautiful together but it hurt her to see her little girl struggling a little with the change in family dynamic.

They had seen how Mimi hadn't coped with Eliot and she was giving them grief but Mimi was so much younger than Marlee and they hoped they wouldn't have the problems Iris and Colton were having. Mimi would misbehave whenever Iris was feeding and would often tell Eliot to shut up and if Colton was holding him Mimi would try and pull him out of his arms. It was killing them, Iris was really struggling and Mimi wanted nothing to do with her Mom at the moment and would cry every time Colton left the room.

Much to Addy's disappointment Quinn put the baby back in his bed to sleep she just wanted to hold him all the time so he didn't get lonely and _'so he remembers me'. _ Marlee didn't move off her Dad's lap though although she did perk up a little. They talked about Addy's day at school and Marlee talked about the playground. "I climb high."

"Did you, you are such a monkey." Quinn giggled. Marlee had no fear of heights and would happily climb on anything. She loved climbing the tree in the backyard but knew she was only do it when a grown-up was with her, and Addy didn't count despite her insistence that she was 'bigger.'

"She's a koala." Addy corrected her.

Lola stopped in first, she was at work so it wasn't hard to stick her head in and have a cuddle. Riley dropped in briefly between patients just as Lola was having her first cuddle. "All these babies, I must say I am nervous every time she hits on me." Riley was well aware they were the butt of everyone's jokes about Lola getting pregnant when someone else had a baby.

"Oh he's so perfect. I remember Sam and Billy were this perfect once." Lola ignored him. "And then they grew up like their father and they are not so perfect now. Olive is perfect though, my little princess."

"Harsh Lola Bear." Riley played with the little boys hand.

"Do you like my bubba Riley?" Addy was about two inches from Lola and her brother.

"I do like him very much; your Mom and Dad did a great job making this little one."

"He came out of Mum's vagina."

"Did he?" Lola giggled. Alfie deserved all this and more. Lola saw him cringing as he cuddled Marlee who was still not loving all the attention the baby was getting.

"Yes? Did Sam come out of your vagina?"

"Yes Adelaide." It was Alfie's turn to laugh. "He did, so did Billy and Olive."

"Oh is it broken now?"

Riley and Alfie roared with laughter while Lola just patted her hand. "No, it's fine Adelaide. That's what it's mean to do, to have babies."

"Oh dear." She just kept repeating herself. Adelaide was not impressed with this girl thing all of a sudden.

Lola handed him to Riley for a quick cuddle and then had a cuddle with Marlee who she could see was struggling. "So what do we call him?"

"Mack." Addy blurted out.

"Mack?"

"Makuru Angus Ruzek Hollister." Alfie explained. "Aka Mack."

"It's a raborigine name like Marlee." Addy proudly informed everyone. "We love it."

"Hi Mack." Lola touched his cheek softly. "Welcome to the circus little man, you are gonna love it."

Eliot was a month old when they took him to the zoo, it was a perfect warm sunny day and Iris sat and fed him while she watched Mimi being chased by her Daddy. She had sat still for exactly three minutes before scrambling to her feet and shooting off across the grass. Colton was after her and managed to catch her before she tumbled off onto the pavement. She had settled down a little and didn't hate Eliot like she used to but she still wasn't that interested in him either, there were other things to do that were far more exciting than her baby brother.

Iris waved as she saw her sister-in-law heading towards them, Addy waved back madly and made a beeline for Iris and Eliot while Marlee was just happy to see Mimi and pulled her hand out of her Mom's and ran over to join them. Alfie was coming, he'd been a little side-tracked and Quinn had left him behind talking to every man and his dog.

They weren't sure why or how but Eliot had already picked up a nickname, he was little 'Ruze.' He looked a little like Adam, or so Iris thought and she had called him little Ruze one day. It was the little tufts of dark blond hair around his ears that reminded her of her grandfather and it had stuck. Mimi could say 'Uze and couldn't get her tongue around Eliot so 'Ruze' stuck for now.

Iris handed Eliot to Quinn for a cuddle when she arrived. "Hey Ruze. You've grown so much since I last saw you, you look so big in comparison." She cooed as she stroked his hand. Addy was up running towards her Dad when she saw him coming.

"Daddy, Ruze is awake, come show him Mack." Eliot hadn't met his cousin yet, Iris didn't bring him in when she came to visit although she had bought Mimi who just sat on her Mom's lap and ignored everyone. "Quick."

Barely a week old Mack was Addy's pride and joy, she was just as obsessed with him as she had been with Marlee. She had also decided that Ruze and Mack were going to be best friends forever so the sooner they met the better.

Addy adored him; Marlee was non-plussed she was too busy doing 'stuff' to worry about her brother. He was just there; Marlee was a sweet girl, always on the go but she had the calm personality of her mother and she loved cuddles and being close to her parents. Addy sometimes overwhelmed her with her bubbly personality and she was always dragging Marlee into mischief.

They loved his name despite the mixed response they got. Some people thought it was an 'interesting' name, Makuru was the aboriginal word for winter and Addy told everyone who would listen that her sister and brother had 'raboriginal' names because they belonged to her mob but she was the only real 'raborigine.

Alfie was in heaven too, he adored his girls and they were his world, he loved coming home to them and spending time with them but like Lola really wanted a daughter to get that mother/daughter relationship she missed so desperately Alfie was eager to be the Dad to his son that he missed out on. It was hard to explain and he was also determined to be the Dad to his girls that he knew his sisters craved. He eventually joined them once he had showed Mack off to everyone he encountered on his way through the zoo. It was Mack's first outing and he was getting spoilt and lots of love and attention.

It took a little bit of wrangling, cajoling and involved an army of people leaping, laughing and cheering to get them all looking in the one direction.

Sam, Adelaide, Poppy, Billy, Max, Marlee, Olive, Mimi, Eliot and Makuru.

The next generation were safely sitting beneath the shady branches of that precious oak tree.

_**Well that dragged on a bit...I think I am finally done with this family.**_


End file.
